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NOTES

I float up out of Angel's bed. How did I get here? Fuck it. Goddamn dream demons. Eat knife, bitches.

Guns unfold and pop out of me.

The dream explodes.

A bubble exploding into thousands...

***

Pyramids

COME HITHER! COME TO ME!

I pick up the pyramids with Telekinesis, and spin them around, covered in Christmas lights.

I see Queen Zukin riding on a broom in a purple and black dress. She has a calm serious look on her face.

The dream started out with my brother and I playing hide and seek in the woods behind my house. I exited the woods, knowing then that my brother would never find me. The dream setting then switched to my aunt's house particularly the basement. My brother found out I left the area and became angry with me. My dad, grandma, and aunt entered the scene. For some reason, my aunt was talking badly about my grandpa. In real life, I had just visited my aunt's house.

At a bar some guy goes to the hospital, there was suspicion of why he had to go, maybe he a was poisoned
Something about getting a job, reading something about planning school

Hmm I feel like I didn't really get into a deep sleep last night my room was really bright and the phone kept ringing, I'm gonna see if a sleep mask might help out.

Side Note: Missed 31 doors

12/30/2010
"A Lesson in Na'vi Pain Management"

(Tried a little dream incubation, this morning, and paid for it. I had turned on Avatar, focusing on my intention to draw myself into the movie, through DILD. Unfortunately, it worked. Quite possibly the most painful dream I have ever had in my life. I wasn't even on B6, but I did have a good liquor buzz when I went to bed. It was just as intense, though.)

I was Jake from Avatar, standing high in one of the mighty, cloud-scraping trees of Pandora. The war with Quaritch was soon coming, and the rest of the Na'vi were off somewhere, preparing for battle. I was being trained by a man who identified himself as an old arch-enemy of mine. He looked human, but this dude was huge; bigger than I was, even at Na'vi size. (He kind of looked like this picture of Heihachi Mishima, but thicker, with longer limbs, and completely bald.) According to this guy, I wasn't ready to face Colonel Quaritch. I was still "just Jake," and - as this guy would tell it - was not accustomed to my Na'vi form enough to maximize potential. So, he was about to teach me about how to manage my pain. Apparently, as I had somehow already known, this powerful man was planet-renown for his skills, and my best move would be to listen to everything he said. I braced myself, knowing I was going to be in for a tough trial.

Suddenly, I was rocked in the stomach, with a fist that would have caused a human being to explode on contact. Another one followed, with yet another close behind. Before I knew it, I was on my knees, in agony, my ribs feeling like they were being beaten in with a baseball bat. He didn't stop, though, screaming at me to get up, before slamming me with another body shot. This man was definitely not human. His strength was something out of a video game, and I could swear I was able to sense the shock waves jetting off of each punch to my midsection.
I honestly don't know of many times I've ever felt pain like this - if any. The blows rained in on me...almost rhythmically. He was in no rush. Just punching away, at his leisure. Completely unprepared for this, I tried desperately to drag myself away from him; helpless.

I didn't know if he was supposed to be teaching me or was actually trying to kill me. That was until he began to explain how I had the potential to block all of the pain out of my mind, and maintain focus and endurance for battle. He said that it was something that all warriors were able to do, and that I would be able to tap into the Na'vi's ability to do it at an accelerated rate. He wasn't exactly nice about it, though... Each punch would drive itself into my gut, and I would yell out in pain, this man's only response being to yell back at me for not taking it like a warrior.

...I definitely didn't feel like a warrior, at the time...

More punches came, and I was now in too much collective pain to fight back, even if I wanted to. Still, I dragged myself along the gargantuan branch beneath us, which easily supported our bodies, without wavering. He was all over me, though, and just would not fucking let up. He jumped from one side of me to the other, anytime I would start trying to scramble away a little more quickly. Each punch was now starting to bring me closer to tears, already having me openly screaming out with each torturous thud - and he could see it. He picked me up to my feet, my body practically limp, and glared at me sternly. Holding me up with one hand and barking at me to stop crying, he slammed more punches into me with his free hand, and each one was no less devastating than the last. I was being brutally beaten, and it was more than I could bear.

The gnarled look of torment in my face was slowly turning into a snarl of determination. I knew I couldn't just sit there and let him beat me to a meat-sack of pulverized bone. My eyes locked on his, and my fists tightened, every muscle in my body soon following suit. Immediately, he picked up on this and sneered, growling "WHAT?! ARE YOU ANGRY?! HUH??" through his teeth. His eyes were on fire with the a display of malice that just couldn't have been false. This was becoming a life or death situation. I felt my legs strengthen beneath me, beginning to stand up straight, slowly, but almost involuntarily. The pain was sequentially residing as the fist continued to pound away. I was getting stronger with each blow, able to sense that each punch would still have left a crater upon the trunk of the enormous tree we were in, yet I was becoming increasingly unable to feel them.

After a few more seconds of the onslaught, I was standing up tall, glaring at him with a scowl. Finally, he stopped punching, glaring back at me, still looking at me like a mortal enemy, but no doubt gauging my stoicism, after such a merciless attack. From what I could tell, he had decided that I must have been successful in my ascension. My torso still burned from all angles, but my entire muscular structure felt tightened and invigorated. The pain was still there, and it was damn intense....but I just didn't care. He told me that I was now ready for battle...

My recollection of the dream skipped ahead, and I was then running and jumping through the towering trees with a female Na'vi. She swung across a gap between branches, on a vine, and I did the same, right behind her. The two of us landed on another branch, this one just barely big enough for us to fit upon. When we landed, I took a sweeping glance down toward the ground - hundreds of yards below us - and I felt my stomach turn. It was the first time that I realized just how high up we really were. I found myself thinking "what the hell am I doing way up here?" and I think this could have eventually led to lucidity. However, all chance of that soon disappeared, when our attention got drawn to the sight of the Colonel's aerial gunships flying in over the landscape, toward our village. What might have been our last run through the trees was now over, and it was time to go to war.

(I woke up here, and the movie was actually just getting to the final battle, practically in sync with the content of my dream, leading me to believe that some of the audio might have been seeping into my dream content, when I was beginning to awaken. I was hungover, and it seemed to take some time for the pain in my stomach to fade. Instead, it seemed to go to my head , which was throbbing. Even some time after all of this, sitting at the computer, I had to hug my stomach, just because it seemed like the faintest - probably just mentally projected - trace of that horrible pain still lingered.

Not the best sleep I've ever had...)

So, I'd like to point out that I had a particularly stressful night last night, and I think it played as a factor in me not remembering the details of my dreams last night.

I was at this fair type thing, except there was only this fat lady standing by a game an a ginormous box of unicorn cotton candy and some weird machine type thing. I remember people with luggage trying to get onto this lift/gondola/cabriolet type thing, and I remember it looking different throughout the dream. I tried to grab some cotton candy while on the lift thing once, and I remember people lining up for miles it seemed trying to get on this lift. I wish I remember more because it was quite the dream...

Im standing in a living room, all is in yellow/brownish color. I see large sofa of sand color facing away from me. I notice that the room has the whole front wall as windows and like afternoon sun is lighting up the whole room. May be the room is of yellow color because of that. There are some white decorations in the room. Im standing still. I can see hand railing on the left side, polished stainless steel. There seem to be images of website floating along the hand railing. Somehow I know that is of the self development website I want to start soon. Suddenly I see a female cleaner polishing the hand railing but the web site windows too. This is where I wake up. I have very warm feeling from the whole dream, probably because of the sun lit room.
*I struggled to remember any details, tough I feel that there was so much more going on in this dream.

(My recall has been shit, lately. Really nothing but a few fragments, here and there.)

12/21/2010
Fragment
All I remember is some kid drinking from the bottle of vodka that was on my desk.



12/22/2010
Fragment
I was on a ship that was being rocked by massive waves. Standing on the deck, holding on for dear life, I was being relentlessly tossed back and forth, while someone looked on, from the shore (or a rock formation or something).



12/23/2010
Fragment
I was discussing the Saw series, with my mom. She didn't understand the plot of the movie(s), and I was telling her about Jigsaw, and his twisted sense of "justice," as his reason for doing the things that he did.



12/24/2010
Fragment
I was hanging out with J and her ex boyfriend. J and I were really close, and were sitting on the floor, hugging on each other. They were together in the dream, though, and her boyfriend (also a good friend of mine) wasn't to happy about it. He made it a point to get between us and space us out a bit.



12/26/2010
Fragment
Something about being on a boat/dock at night with friends...and gun-play. I dunno.



12/27/2010
Fragment
I remember being lucid, and looking at my hands to stabilize the dream. The topography of my hands had dark patches on them that were kind of swirling around, slowly, like the blots on Rorshach's mask, in Watchmen. At one point, I sunk my arm into a wall, up to about my elbow, and pulled it back out. I vaguely remember walking across a short body of water, my feet just barely sinking, about an inch or so, beneath the surface. I also vaguely remember having sex, and then standing on a structure, over top of the chick, and trying to recall the events of the dream so that I don't forget when I wake up.

(But, unfortunately, I forgot. )



12/28/2010
Fragment One
All I remember is having a bo staff spar with someone. I believe we were under a set of bleachers, and some kind of event.


Fragment Two
Todd and I had passes to actually be down on the launch pad, watching the shuttle being readied for launch. There was a set of chairs, for a small audience, set up in the pit, right beneath the boosters, and we were just looking on as the crew made the final preparations.

There was a TV set up, off to our left, which was showing some show about the safety of the workers, showing footage of exactly what these guys do, and how meticulous they are about procedures. It also, however, showed what happens to the shuttle crew while they are in space, and the guidelines they have to follow, up there, as well. I remember a section on oxygen supply, and it showed an astronaut's suit pressurizing, and his head exploding, inside of his helmet. It was pretty graphic; a quick splash of red just popping outward and coating the glass bubble.

After preps were made, we went out to a safe distance, to watch the actual launch. I pulled out my phone, and was video recording the entire walk - from directly beneath the boosters, all the way out to where the rest of the crowd was - not wanting to miss a bit of it.

I vaguely remember watching the launch, but don't really remember any details of it. Later in the dream, though, we had taken a four-wheeler and were riding around areas of the space center that we weren't supposed to be in, being chased by personnel.



12/29/2010
Fragment
All I really remember is being with a chick and the two of us having to run away from a pair of UPS(like) trucks, which had chain-guns in the back, and were firing at us. We then went to some house and had sex on the floor.

I am playing this game girls vs guys, girls are winning i get the ball from hannah, mr.ward tells me to give it to her, i do, games over, i talk to k and j thought j was h.

First dream took place at my house... or rather it transitioned from a wierd apartment complex place to the kitchen in my house. It was dark and raining. There was video camera set up on my kitchen counter pointed out of the kitchen window. I was playing with it because it had a night vision filter on it. There was somebody outside in the yard. I noticed them out of the corner of my eye and spun around but they were gone. I set up the camera to record and switched off the light so I could do upstairs and goto bed. As if out of a horror movie, I looked into the viewfinder. I saw a green and white vision of myself standing with the kitchen window behind me, and a horrific visage, a contorted and rotting face stared in through the window. I immediately spun around and ranto the window. Ready to fight. I rapped hard on the window. There was nobody there, except a little girl who was too short to see through the camera. I rapped on the window again and told her to go away. And then I woke up.

After going back asleep, I found myself in a blueish cave. There were small sharp crystals all over the floor and walls of the cave. There was also a chimera (some sort of monsters I don't know what it was) prowling the cave. I was suited up in armor and boots that could withstand the crystals without them piercing my feet. There were a few other people with me and we were preparing to fight the chimera. I remember slapping it around a bit then finishing it off with a burst of entropic magic (that's what I knew it as in the dream, I think its a schema from dragon age, though the whole situation seemed right out of 'The Witcher'). memory fades at this point.

And finally the last dream I remember was at a vacation house with my family. It was snowing. The snow was thick and came down in larger chunks almost like tears of paper. The bottom of my boots had a layer of ice and as I walked back to the house someone pushed me. I slid and fell down and let loose a string of verbal incendiaries. I don't remember a whole lot else from this dream other than being in a room with a bunch of amputees.

At first I was on the computer, chatting with Stone or something. My mom had seen it and apparently asked him who he was. He said that he was someone from WC3. I was scared that she would get angry. When she asked me about it, I just sort of evaded the question.

Then I was at a bus stop at at intersection. I was watching the lights change. Somehow it occurred to me that I was dreaming.

I wanted to change the scene, so I jumped up and span around. The scene whipped around me, and I was at RA field. I had just realized what I had done, and wanted to change it again. I was feeling adventurous, so I decided to try to change it to an arctic scene, among the glaciers. Stupidly, I closed my eyes to try to change it. I could actually feel the dream slipping; I knew if I opened my eyes I would wake. I kept them close and conjured the scene again in my head. I was on the hill now.

I span around trying to imagine this scene in front of me, but it wouldn't change. I screamed, demanding it to appear, but it would not do. I then decided that maybe traveling to it would make it appear.

I had gotten on the hill from RA field to the park. I jumped down it and straightened myself out. At first I just fell, but near the ground I urged myself to fly. And I did, floating up and above the land beneath me.

I was getting irritated now. I sort of jumped a little and gave myself a boost; the next thing I knew, I was speeding fast across the sky. Ahead of me were some houses covered in snow. Closer, I thought, but I guess I need to go more north. I turned around and saw my mother flying behind me I thought that I would have been going too fast for her. I was really irritated at her for some reason; she seemed like the reason I couldn't get to these glaciers. I then shot some fire at her (for once, successfully), and then gave myself another boost forward.

I passed over yet another set of houses covered in snow before the dream faded on me.

---

At first I was looking at all these pictures of art, seemingly from DA, online. If i pressed certain buttons each one would come alive. I was fiddling with this for a while.

Then I was in some WC3 game. It was a spiral grassy map, as I could see from above. When I zoomed in, I became me.

I ran around the plane for a bit. The point of the game was to make card decks, and then duel with them. I started making a deck. I had a deck with a lot of wolf summons, and a lot of buffs for them. The game automatically made the cards into random elemental categories. Each deck could only have 3 categories. At the end I browsed through the cards.

Upon entering another dream, I was playing the same game, but this time it was more of a duel style. You started off dueling one person, and when you beat them you would automatically join in another duel as your own force. All of the battles happened at the same time.

I had picked some random deck that I somehow knew was good. At first they were going to play Speed with them, but then they took the duel game.

Some of my units were shades with some really strong attack that caused them to multiply when hit or something. As I kept getting gold, I upgraded all the stats that I could. They were melee, so I took a ranged upgrade and quickly dominated the game.

As this game ended, I was back at another one. I had forgotten which deck I had chosen last time, and was browsing the wolf one I had made. I knew it was pointless unless it was a PvP game, so I looked back at the others and tried to find the previous one. Then the dream ended.

no lucidity last night, but decent recall.

3 main dreams,

First being outside school and seeing some friends but also in the background hearing some Circa Survive music. One of the friends is Caitlin who I know is a Circa fan, so we walk over and check it out. (much more happened in this dream but this is all I can really remember)

I believe in a separate dream I was actually at a Circa Survive show, but before the show, walking around trying to meet up with the band at the bar and such. I also remember trying to find some seats, and I got some front row seats with some of my friends, but I left my seat to go get some food.

Blurry recall of a dream with my family in the mountains, eating a picnic or something but I was eating separately from them. I think I was eating outside and they were eating inside.


Well that's all from last night.

This dream was strange, because I dreamed it, woke up, saw a strange image in my head that said REPLAY, and then dreamed it again.

I was on a highway at night. I was a hitchhiker like so many now. Evil ghosts were taking over the world.

If the evil ghosts saw you then they would kill you. So, basically, in the dream you didn't want the headlight's of oncoming traffic to see you or else they would know if you were human. Thus to hitchhike, you would have to wait until a car passed you and then leap into the trunk of the car.

I hitchhiked to a building. Inside the building there was a main lobby. The lobby was used for people trying to "Log on". I'm not sure if it was simply logging on to a computer, buzzing into an apartment, or whatever, but the place was covered in M&M's.

"THE BLUE M&M'S!!!" I screamed, "JAM THEM INTO THE LOCKS!!!"

"What about the red M&M's?" A girl asked.

"NOOO they are bad luck!!! Don't touch the red ones!!!"

We jammed the blue M&M's into the locks. Apparently, this was supposed to help us fight for humanity against the ghosts.

After a few minutes of blue M&M panic, a robot in the corner lit up.

"Hello Master!" It said. WHOA! We all thought that the robot was just there for decoration.

"Shall I take you to Akon?" It asked.

"Errmm..Akon, the rapper?" I replied.

"Yes!"

"Akon...will help us save humanity?"

"Yes!"

We stood there, puzzled.

"Guess it couldn't hurt," said one of the men I was with.

"Alright, let's go see AKON!" I shouted! The robot led us through the maze of halls until we reached Akon's bedroom. He was talking to someone on an iPad.

"SSh, I can't be bothered!" He said to us. He was enthusiastically talking to his friend about dirty things. Dirty Things > Humanity.

I decided that this building was a lost cause, and that I needed to save my family. I quickly drove home and picked up my parents who were fending themselves against the evil ghosts.

"I left something back at the house," said my father.

"We don't have time to get it, any minute now one of the ghosts will sense that we are here!"

He left the car anyways and was instantly defiled by ghosts. WTF.

"Let's go!!!" My mother screamed. I stepped on the gas pedal, and woke up.

Going down a spiral staircase in a hotel with some people I am holding back close behind me because I am dizzy as I walk down. I then find my self in a room where Adam is sitting in a chair and some woman is across the room. He is under house arrest.

I see a drawing of his of a farm that he is apparently on, I also browse through his facebook pictures to see a model of the farm... I lean over to give him a chair hug while saying goodbye and we are both clearly upset..

CHEAT SHEET: Adam is a youth pastor with whom I am very close and he has recently been let go..

30.12.2010

My subconscious strikes me with a lighting and I trample some houses. (WILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I have been a big while without recording dreams here. I do have in fact a big pile of dreams, but I do not have time to write them down. Some good changes in my professional life are happening, and finally I will be able to work on a schedule.

I completed the ToTM for January, it took me four days this time! The longest I needed to complete one of these. Even on this one a little assistance from my subconscious helped me.

Here it goes:

- I woke up at 7am and I had a little more time to sleep, so I did. I woke up again and I told myself that is was going to be the 5th night without success. I closed my eyes and I started to see some mild hynogogic imaginary, so I tried to WILD, my least successful technique. The hypnogogic grew and I allowed it to happen. I saw some flashes and then I heard some noises. The dream formed on my head, but I could not open my eyes. I had no vision, just hearing and feeling.

I finally found myself into a dream. It was raining, there was a heavy storm and some people riding brooms fighting some aliens. I tried to fly with a little difficulty. There was an u.f.o. that pushed me down, but it got destroyed and I could fly better. Other of those u.f.os. made some sort of energy wave and pushed me to the clouds. A lighting bolt fell into the ground, very close to me. I avoided it because I thought I would wake up. A few lighting bolts tried to hit me without success. I finally got hit by one, realizing I did not wake up. On that moment I remember that I completed some old task of the month that was suggested...

I decided to land and remembered my advanced task of the month. Grow and trample all over. I placed my hand in the pocket with the intention of pull one of those pixelated stars from super paper Mario for Wii. Instead I pulled a mega-mushroom, however, it was small an fit in my hand

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I ate the mushroom and I started to grow in no time. I could hear the music from Mega Pixelated Mario from Super Paper Mario and I saw all the buildings tiny, in addition of some random Mario graphics such as blocks. I trampled over everything while I heard the music. The music ended after a while, but I did not loose my giant form. I felt it was funny that my subconsciousness skipped to shrink me back to my regular size.

Suddenly, I saw a building even bigger than me. I could not trample it, but I damaged the wall, so after a few seconds, I was able to make a hole in the wall. I saw three dream characters eating something on a table. I remembered I had to freeze them for the basic task, however, I was worried the clock was going to ring, I knew it was time to wake up. I said, "Frozen!" and I would release some white stuff from my hand into the man, but he defrosted at the very moment.
After a few attempts, I tried with, "Freeze" to the mom instead. He face turned blue, darker every time I said, "Freeze" The kid was crying saying, "Mommy is getting hurt." I continued saying, "Freeze" until the mom was frozen solid. Right after that I completed the task, I woke up.

During my very first minutes from waking, I was assured that Freezing someone was the basic task and getting struck by a lighting bolt was just a suggestion from older months. It took me a while to notice it was the opposite! Oh well, I completed both plus the advanced, so I am good

I'm, let say, a bit disturbed about this dream. That was the most awkwardest, illogical dream I ever had. And quite funny xD

Hours of sleep: 8.5
Recall:4/5
Vividness: 3/5

I'm sitting in the auditorium of my old high school. There are a lot of other students. I look around me, but I don't see any familiar face. Well expect of the teacher. And guess what? It's again my chemistry teacher who died very young a year ago.
I'm sitting at the back of the class with the "back-ground-group" (those pupils at the back of the class disturbing the course ) I'm talking really loud with my new classmates, we are laughing a lot. She gets angry and starts to shout at us. I get in some argument with her, about discipline and order (stuff like that). Finally, to not disturb the course anymore, I get kicked out of class (literately).
I'm kind of angry and simply walk out of the school.
Outsides I am on the campus of my university and I go to the bus station. In the meantime, I see the car of my dad. He stops in front of me and picks me up.

Me: That's what I call a real coincidence! Where do we go now?
Dad: We have to take some bread!

That sounds awesome So he drives me away from the place.
After a second or so, the car stops in front of my grandma's house. She died 3 years ago and the house was sold to a lady.

Me: Euu That's not a place where you get bread.
Dad: That's wrong. I know she has bread. You just have to knock at the door and ask for some!

Quite convincing statement. So I go there and ring. I don't know what I have to say. It's quite weird asking a complete stranger for bread. The door opens.

Lady: ... hello?
me: euu hello... how are you?
Lady looks at me suspicious.
me: My grandma used to live here... Eu I wanted to talk with you.
Lady: .... Ok
We are standing there quite awkwardly.
me: ... may I enter?
lady: ok, feel yourself at home.

Everything looks like it used to be. I enter in the living room. Another DC appears next to me. Apparently, he entered also.

Lady: Take a seat.
I feel quite unease
Me: No thanks I and my colleague prefer to stand.

The DC let fall himself in the sofa and takes the shoes off. I look at him kind of disturbed. He takes a scrabble book and a pen out of his suit. He starts speaking like a guy from FBI

DC: We heard that you, euuh
he looks at a page
DC: ... Misses Marple? Is that right?
lady: Yes
DC: Ok, we heard that you earn
he looks again at his book
DC: ... some delicious bread? Do you know what consequences this has?
Marple: That's not true! Get out of my house!

Suddenly a lot of men in suits get into the house.

DC: Arrest her and get her out of here!

Five men take har, tie her up and pull her out of the room.

Marple [shouting]: I demand me release immediately! You have no right to do this!
DC to some other guys: Go in the basement and look for the bread! Now!

They go away to look for the bread. I'm confused The guys come back with a slice of bread. the DC takes it and gives it to me

DC: here you have your bread! Enjoy it!

They leave me alone and I'm standing with my slice of bread. Awesome