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I float up out of bed, in my dark energy demon form, Deathgawn. I gaze down at the dark portal on my chest, and grin at my two dragons on my shoulders Rainstorm, and Skyfire. I open a portal to the Moon, stand on a silvery hover disk, and shoot a grappling hook down the wormhole. I feel it stick, and slingshot through the wormhole. I let go of the cable, and come flying out of the portal. screaming in to the gate of the Biodome, skimming the surface of the koi pond, and landing in front of Raven.

"Show off," she teases.

I stick out my arms, and mech armor flies out of nowhere, and sticks to my body.

"Are you quite done yet?" she says, rolling her eyes,

NOTES

I thought i would have time to write the whole thing out... oh well...

-invading all the houses with dogs in stacked cages

-we are two dog gods in mecha police armor, we set all the dogs free

-we go into the astral, then find people on the physical

-we make them have nightmares of them being forced to kill other humans or die

I didn't get any f** sleep tonight. I'm just as tired and shitty as anybody else in this position which I'm sure some of you have been in this position before.
Well, there is just too many damn thoughts in my head. Not to mention how I suddenly realize how insanely uncomfortable my pillows are.
Anyways, Thoughts about the past. regrets, how I might have changed things and hopefully optimism for the future.
My eyes may not focus as well as my mind at this moment, but I just had a epiphany of what I need to do in life. Which is damn well better or to close to than any dreams.... I suppose... Sorta... Not really. I would still like a lucid dream or two. They always leave me smiling. Yeah, you understand.

Peace out.

but my recall doesn't do them justice. My brain seems... ???... incapable of recalling all the detail of my dreams.

The last one I had was amazing. It spanned what FELT like several generations, but that was only because I relived the story in countless ways in two worlds. The book, Dune (which I'm currently reading) inspired a lot of it.
I was on a desert planet (though not always). I was some random male DC who wanted to propose to his girl. But something always interfered. In the world I was from, it was "normal"- full of life and green. But something always happened to send me to that other barren planet. My girl would be with me. One time, we were walking down a road and were ambushed. I "woke" myself up and was sent to my home world before I could die. But I would have no or very little memory of what happened in the barren world. Every time I was about to propose, I would be sent to the other world. Every time, something bad happened and I nearly died, only to return to my own world with no memory. It was extremely frustrating.
Several times, I was in a Fort of sorts. It was booby-trapped and I was injured in countless ways, only to "wake up" before dying. Some man was pursuing me during most of the dream on the barren world. In the last scene, we were trapped in a room in the Fort. The doors sealed us in. I could see the dart traps and tubes rose from the floor which would release poisonous gasses. But somehow, I lived and the bad guy died. I was able to propose, but we were stuck on the barren world. I knew if I went back to my world, I would forget everything and be doomed to live without her.

Another dream was of the large house I frequently dream about. There were the secret passage tunnels in the floor and this time, I actually used them. I was running from someone and there were others with me. I showed them the tunnels/tubes and sent them through. At one time, I used one myself, but I had to return to the house and the second time I was forced out some other way.
I recall a balcony. I was trapped, so I flew to a nearby rooftop. I laid against the roof, but the bad guy (a young black woman) saw me eventually. She released a dart which went through the building and roof and almost struck me. But I moved at just the right time.
I don't recall how the dream ended.

Early in the evening, I dreamed of driving my van. My oldest son was in the back and someone else (?) was in the front passenger seat. The road was treacherous and I ended up falling off a steep cliff. I realized then, all my kids were in the car with me. I told them all I loved them and that I was sorry. Then, the drivers seat was on the other side and I was directly in front of my oldest son. Our combined weight, made the car tilt to the right and I became terrified of the pain. I screamed that I didn't want the car to land like that. But it did. I marveled that I wasn't in any pain, but it was then that I realized we were all dead.
I woke up.

I also dreamed of being at a movie theater. After the show, I wanted some smokes and food, so hubby and I ordered some. But we had to give our selection to the chef to cook. He said it would be done in an hour and a half and I was greatly annoyed at the delay. He said he was the only person working on Sunday- that they were normally closed. Hubby was surprisingly very patient.
That's all I recall.

I have lucid dreams for many years, and since 3 years I started to really take it seriously, which caused an increase in frequency, length and so on. Still, I was only having one per week and most of them not lasting more than 15-20 mins, which for me is very frustrating.
Then I realized I was forgetting a few lucid dreams that I have earlier in the night, and recalling only those in the last sleeping phase. So I decided to go back to the basics and get to recall more dreams.
Until 3 days ago I was recalling at best 3 dreams a night, but usually only one or none if they weren't lucid.
But in these last 3 days, I started to focus on recalling the dreams and I am amazed at how many I actually have each night. I started taking notes in the middle of the night of every little thing I could recall and I can remember in detail at least 6 dreams each night, although I have the clear sensation of having many more in the beggining of my sleep, of which I can't recall but a vague feeling of it. On these last 3 days I had no lucid dream, but I'm happy with this breakthrough that for sure will lead me further ahead.

Type: DILD.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

I really wish my lucidity would've been higher last night, but there's not much I can do about it now.

This dream continued directly after the one written previous in this journal, Grisly Room; I didn't wake up in between the dreams. To start, I was in the anteroom of my house, which consisted of very light gray tiles, beige walls, and dark wooden molding. There were two white doors that opened towards the walls, and I was about to open one of them when I became lucid. "Finally, another lucid dream," I said out loud, but not as strongly as I would have if I were more lucid.

I decided to fly (not to complete a dream goal, or the TOTM, but to fly). :eyeroll:

I looked for a way to exit the house without using the door, because at the time I felt doors were too provincial for a dream. As I looked above the door, I saw a large rectangle of solid frosted glass. Backing up a bit first, I then took off by imagining I had rockets on my shoes. It was a different method than I normally use, but it worked nonetheless. I hit the glass and it shattered, but I traveled through it with no problem, and without my speed faltering too much.

I ended up in a new room, it looked the same as the room I was just in, but it was twice as large. I decided to direct myself towards the ceiling to blast out of the building entirely, so I began to travel towards it. I broke through the layer of ceiling, but there was another one just after that; I got through both of them and was finally outside. I continued to rise up into the air, and looked down as I climbed. My house was no longer there, and instead I was looking down on vast city.

The dream ended; my lucidity spiked right up but it was too late. I tried to DEILD with no luck.

Type: regular dream.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

CAUTION: If you don't have a good tolerance for gory/dark/disturbing situations, you might want to skip this entry.

I have absolutely no idea where this dream came from!

It was dark outside, and I could see that from looking out the window. I was in my bedroom, sitting upright on my bed with my legs crossed. My bed was a queen-size one, and had a modern square shape with black coloration. It was positioned in the center of my 14x14 room with the headboard against the wall; on the opposite wall sat my horizontal dresser, in the same modern color and style as the bed. Those were the two pieces of furniture in the room, slightly given shape to by a pale light shining in, although you couldn't see much more than that.

I sat there for no more than five seconds before a dark shape shot out from underneath the bed and pushed me off, right onto the floor. I hit the hardwood floor on my backside; it almost felt as if I had broken something, because pain shot up my spine as I sat up. The pain slowly ebbed but it was there for the rest of the dream.

I looked up on my bed and there was a dark silhouette standing on it; it looked like an adult but it was fairly skinny and short, probably around three feet. I couldn't tell whether it was wearing anything because it was in the shadows near the head of my bed. There was now a chain hanging from the ceiling, and a few feet from where it was hooked, there was a large piece of rotting flesh. I could see the slightest amount of red coloration, and something was dripping from it. "Oh my god," I exclaimed to myself. "What do you want?"

The figure chuckled, and jumped off the bed, landing quietly beside me. It got up and walked around the room a bit, and then disappeared under the bed. I looked around to see if it'd appear again, because I was very frightened, and then it appeared from underneath the bed, reaching out and biting a piece of my leg off. I screamed but I didn't feel any pain, instead I just felt my leg with my hand, realizing a piece was missing from my thigh. The creature jumped back on the bed and stood up, beginning to eat it with a sickening sound, and I ran to the door, trying to open it. There was no light coming from the edges of it, and it wouldn't open; the knob wouldn't even turn. I spun around to see the creature breathing hard and coming at me again, this time staring at my face.

I ran at it, and grabbed its own face with my hand and tore it off; it felt as if it were made of plaster. I looked at my hand as the creature fell to the floor, and saw blood smeared all over it.

PART 1 - POP STAR CAPTURED BY HEROS

Pop star villain who looks similar to Lady Gaga is captured in giant plane by two 16 year olds. They force her to hang outside the cockpit, this makes her pass out so she is not a threat.

They're superheros, that's their character, that's the story... one male and one female who take complete control of the environment through technology, like their big plane, and trap villains.

ANALYSIS

Pop star could represent superficiality.

- - -

PART 2 - WEED FROM CLEE, KICK MOM

At home in my room, I almost buy some weed from Clee (friend.) I have my money out and everything. I'm facing my closet, the weed is on my bed, we're about to exchange... but I change my mind at the last moment.

I follow Clee outside for courtesy, to hang out while he smokes a cigarette, to be cool since I didn't buy from him.

On the way out, mom is laying on the floor at the door of the bathroom/bottom of the stairs (sort of both, dream merge), talking with my aunt (who is standing.)

Mom says something along the lines of "every fit person has a hot person they work out with," some limiting belief that she uses to justify her lack of fitness to herself.

This frustrates me. I get super pissed and attack her, kick her in the head. Aunt is disgusted, "doesn't understand why you can't just be chill."

Clee and I get to the door, I put on my shoes - they're black, bigger than normal, firm and puffy.

We were going to train but it turns out to be raining quite heavily. I put on an act of being upset, even though I didn't really want to anyway - I was only being accommodating.

ANALYSIS

Almost buy weed - because I've been considering changing up my meditation schedule, the thought of getting some occurred to me yesterday, but I decided against it.

Follow Clee outside/pretend upset/accommodating - literal representation of behavior patterns around this person.

Mom laying down - likely represents her weakness, given up on life. Aunt there to support her justifications.

- - -

PART 3 - KILP CONFLICT

Kilp (Jr High classmate) is outside. He threatens me, throws a knife my direction. It lands in the dirt in front of me, as a message that he's "out to get me." He makes some jokes about me to someone else.

I pull the knife out of the ground, throw it up in the air, and it lands exactly in my sheath. Kilp says something sarcastic about "winning his heart" by this display. I say "all mine," double meaning that I will literally take his heart.

ANALYSIS

Perhaps triggered by negative social events at work, feeling "looked down upon," an expression of a desire to fight back.

- - -

FRAGMENTS

Door breaks off, upper class family...

Use toilet positioned in middle of stage, in front of an audience for a SC1 tournament...

Jee visits me, in my room, have chat...

ANALYSIS

The toilet being right on stage seems like an obvious metaphor for self consciousness.

Anyway, I think I need more sleep. I don't feel "refreshed" upon waking up, always tired and groggy. Currently I go to bed at around 12 and wake up at 7. Will see if I can gradually fall asleep at earlier times, beginning with 11.

Last night i dreamt i walked into spanish class feeling ill prepared although i did not acknowledge my surroundings i felt it was my regular class then i was in a chair being spray tanned/painted so i appeared to be black i then still being black went to an auditorium with my sister who was painted similarilly i remember it seemed to be a talent show a larger girl sang before me singing with a good voice then i went to sing remembering i was sick i had a horrible singing voice i sounded horribly and remember stumbling down the stairs as i tried to escape a man tried to approach saying i did the best i could under the circumstance but i was focused of the people sing that follower me an african american girl and her father the song sounded familiar although i could not identify it next i was sitting on my couch looking like my usually self and my dad was sitting across from me he was complaining that i did not sweep the bathrooms

Slept in this morning, so was rushing. I only remember a tiny frag of my dream. There were 2 bikers, the only thing I remember clearly is they both had leather jackets and one had an incredibly white tshirt.

I remembered heaps from this dream.

There were some lifesize picture/painting things outside of the house that Dad asked me to go see because it was scary. I knew that he would be disappointed with my if I didn't go. I tried to go outside but it became too scary so I asked my mum to go with me and she was about to but then she became scared too, haha. I noticed that the thing Dad wanted us to see was next to these pictures of Mario and Michael Jackson. Someone said something about my cousin Sha-Sha having given them to him as a gift for something. And then as I walked through the house (it was some small old house that I have never seen before. It was quite nice and old fashioned) I noticed that these picture things were EVERYWHERE, all hung up on all the walls of the house. He had cleaned the house while he was at it. It looked quite nice, I thought.
Then I was with my bro in some room and Daniel was there but in the toilet and we were going to play some trick on him, I cannot remember what.

I went up to these booth places on these grassy hills. They were wooden, rectangular areas perhaps only 4m by 2m and about 2m high and you could see who was outside. The inside floor was dirt. Also, they were lockable with this weird lock and key thing that I can only JUST remember but is too hard to explain.
As I saw a creepy guy outside (who seemed to always stay there) I wondered how I knew that I was safe, even though when away anyone could just steal the key when the booth wasn't being used, and also I didn't think that the lock was that secure, nor did I think that the wooden booth was that sturdy.
But anyway, I went into these places to access IRC or something like that. I went into them a couple of times during my dream.

I just remembered that a couple of times I would go to sleep in the booth and there was some weird set up where I would lie down and then this Chinese music would play. There were some two other random Asian girls there, with accents from Singapore or Malaysia and I kindly asked them to do something for me (involving a pillow, I think), which they did. I recall saying something to them about how in Chinese culture they are always very proud and try to build up the family name, which I did not agree with.

There was one instance I left the booth and there were quite a few people around one. There were these pretty, young girls and an older guy and an older woman (lol dodgy much?). And then the woman caught the eye of one of the girls and that girl had a look of "oh shi-" on her face. She said "I guess I have to go now" or something along those lines, and walked off away from the group of people. I figured/somehow knew that they were all trying out to become models or something like that, and she had failed the first time and tried to enter a second time with the man as the judge, but the woman from the previous try out was there and spotted her. I said to Alanna who was standing right next to me "wow...but she was REALLY pretty..." and she agreed with me.

And then I was in this part with this girl. She had short brown hair and freckles and was like, an original member of Pallkars. It turns out that they used to make movies and stuff that had gotten pretty famous. I don't know where she was from, she didn't really have an accent I don't think.
I hopped onto the bus with her. She went in first and as I went in I pulled the door off the bus (the bus seemed to only be 2m long) and the bus driver (who was female) just drove off and I was quickly trying to put the door back on! The bus driver recognised the girl I was with due to her Pallkars fame (lol xD) and addressed her by name (I cannot remember what it was though). We were driving along and I was like "wow, I really am a newbie to this online community (I kinda am anyway ) because it's been around since the 90s". Hahaha.
We drove past some stores and Lanna was there again and she wanted to buy meat because it was the only bit of meat left (haha what the hell, she is vegetarian). Down the road we spotted some other store where there was stuff we all wanted to buy. The bus had turned into a truck and the truckie was this big fat guy who was really nice and also liked the Pallkars movies xD
Tobias was sitting in the seat behind mine.

We parked inside the shop, got out of the truck (Tobias wasn't there anymore lol) and the shop woman asked if we could please reverse a little bit and then our parking would be okay. So the truckie went to do that. We looked at the shop and there were a few dusty books and the girl I was with was talking about aliens or something. I asked her nicely how old she was and she said "from '83" (so she was 27) and I was like, "wow, you look really young for your age. I would've guessed about 23". She smiled.

There were a few dusty things we wanted to buy that we dusted off, and under the dust there was this kinda reed-fossil shape thing. But then we dusted some more, and there was a handprint of some creature that had 6 or 7 fingers It frightened me. We then proceeded to dust everything in the bookshop (there were a few more people there now, probably about 6) and EVERYTHING was covered in a 6/7 fingered handprint. The store was now just this small room that would have been difficulty to escape. I was getting the shit scared out of me; I was really restless and agitated. Even the chalkboard was covered in those handprints. I couldn't lean back on anything for fear that I'd get harmed by the aliens somehow.
All of a sudden these small puppet things burst out of the corner of the room and it was then that I realised this was all just an interactive play. I was angry though because I had been tricked and was genuinely really scared and so I picked up one of the puppets and was tempted to throw it at another puppet but I calmed down and everything was okay

I dreamt about dragons somewhere as well. I love dragons xD

August 18th: involved two dreams I'll write more about later but here's basics. One phase involved a friend dan vavirnik or a farmer guy riding orange vehicles down highways. The other phase I dreamt I went to lunch with my mom, aunt, lou, savanah Stanley and others. Lou mentioned a girl getting pulled over for itching her vagina. :/ ..then we went home and playboy papers flew out of my bed like a fan was there. I blamed it on my brother...

key notes: 1.) scenary was like denmark by a family friend. suburban but it still felt foreign, it was also dark out.
2.) my room was not my room I live in now, but I claimed it to be my room.
3.) I've never met Savanah so I should have realized something was up.
4.) this is the 2nd time lou popped up in my dreams this month.
5.) The character riding the orange vehicles down rural highways was demonstrating driving skills by switching vehicles somehow during his drives.

lmao this dream was interesting. my recall still needs work.

August 16th: involved two dreams I'll write more about later but here's basics. One phase involved a friend dan vavirnik or a farmer guy riding orange vehicles down highways. The other phase I dreamt I went to lunch with my mom, aunt, lou, savvanah Stanley and others. Lou mentioned a girl getting pulled over for itching her vagina. :/ ..then we went home and playboy papers flew out of my bed like a fan was there. I blamed it on my brother...

These dreams happened over 4 sleep cycles but it's difficult to separate when they happened

Flying back and forth for a job interview, staying in a hotel. S,R,L and W are there, something about a TV.

Get the new job arguing with my dad about God and miracles. Find out about troubled person Q. Have a new beach house on a golf estate - WOHOO!! Quad bikes riding around, house was Q's.

i'm engaged in some sordid online chat thing C and R are also on but they don;t know that I am. SV is complaining about cleaning the FS team office carpet. More sordid chat.

M and me were in an accident, he is in hospital in critical condition. Bubba is a DR - lol and looks at x-rays and gives his opinion, M's body is there and B cuts his hospital gown made of lycra with a scalpel to look underneath at his stomach. I explain our injuries. Later I'm comforting M's mom and the operation begins while we sit a a board room table.

I'm at dad's business in kimberley upstairs, there is a n axel for my mom's car, I am extremely tired form M's ordeal (he died). and grab an energy sachet from a bag that belongs to my dad, it feels like I'm stealing it. We go down a car ramp and then C is gonna pull me somewhere on like a rickshaw thing but she can't. We have a discussion with a street kid...

I'm on the back of a pickup, dad is driving. He greats an old friend and then a dog chases us. We go into a bike store, I look at MX pants and then tires and then boots, all the boots are sucky...

I've had many lucid dreams as a child, but i didnt think any of them then. I didnt know they can be so cool; and if you learn more about your dreams, you can control them. Finding this all so interesting obviously leads to me making an account and sharing my story.

I usually had the option as a child to save myself from nightmares. If i was having a stressful dream when i was in grade 3 and i couldnt get to the after school bus on time, i would step into my own dream to say, "Calm down, you dont have to run on the spot, just walk slowly, the bus wont leave without you, everything is fine. Wake up now"

Or if i was being bullied in my dream, the same event that may have happened that day, and it turns into a horrible nightmare. I often would step in as my own conscience and tell myself to literally fly away. They cant catch me if im flying above them right?

I would also interrupt my dreams by accident. I would be having a nice, weird dream and something in real life would wake me up a little, or something out of the ordinary would happen to make me say, "Wait, im dreaming" And after i'd be upset because i will now never know how my dream would have ended if i didnt interrupt.

All of this just makes me more eager to start my non-electronic Dream Journal and begin to recognize my dream signs that would in turn allow me to control my own dreams!

I was at the mall with Tigress and Silver, we were there just wandering around and looking at the various shops to see if there was anything interesting to be found. We wandered around the mall for a while, taking a look in various stores to include computer and video game stores, an arts and crafts store, and a book store, and then we were walking past a store with musical instruments. I wanted to go in there to look around, so the three of us went inside.

I wandered around the instruments for a bit, noting some nice instruments, flutes, guitars, violins, and some instruments I didn't even vaguely recognize… I finally found the area where they were selling electronic keyboards, and I started browsing them. They had some very nice ones, and I was wondering if there was any way I could afford one so I could make music for games. My reasoning in the dream was that the keyboard I have is not capable of playing chords, but that is not actually true… it plugs directly into a computer and plays chords just fine as long as I have the memory buffer set properly to balance between speed and quality… but that wasn't what I was thinking in the dream as I browsed the keyboards.

While I was browsing the keyboards, Tigress had gone a short distance away with Silver and they were looking at ocarinas and talking about various things, I couldn't hear much of what they were saying. A sales man came over and asked if he could help me, I said I was looking for an electronic keyboard but I am on a tight budget… was there anything he could recommend? He began giving his sales pitch, saying they had three very economical models, which were very nice considering the price. He said they had the features that are only found on the high end models at other stores… He showed me the models, the cheapest one was $298, the next one up was $315, and the highest of their economical models was $355. I haven't priced electronic keyboards recently, so I wasn't even sure if that was a good value or if he was trying to rip me off… for some reason I felt sure he wasn't trying to scam me.

I asked about memory cards for easy transfer of the songs from the keyboard to my computer. He showed me the memory card slot on the middle model, said all three had it, but the memory card slot was a shape and size I have never seen, apparently they took a proprietary type of card that the company no doubt price gouged on… I said no, I didn't want to deal with odd shaped memory cards. He said that is understandable, which is why he actually recommended the high speed USB cable to connect the keyboard to a computer. He took down a $16 cable that had a USB connection on one end and a coaxial connection on the other end, that didn't look like a high speed connection to me… I told him I'd think about the cable, I wouldn't be in that much of a rush to transfer the data from the keyboard to my computer.

I was looking at the three keyboards again, trying to think how long it would get me to pay it off if I was to charge it to my credit card. While thinking about it I started playing on one of them, I was playing a song that sounded vaguely familiar. I was thinking it was a song I had heard in a dream with MoSh, and MoSh would be glad I could remember it well enough to play it. But I would have to get the keyboard… and there was plenty of room on my credit card… This is not safe thinking for me, as I have been known to get in over my head in credit card debt… I got out of that problem and don't want to go back there. But if I could just pay it off within a couple months… I was running numbers through my mind as to how much I could pay each month… well, I would definitely have to stick with the cheapest model.

I started playing the song on the lowest price model, it sounded just as good as on the other two, until I came to the left end of the keyboard… the few keys at the end of the keyboard looked like they had been chewed on?! Those keys didn't work, and I saw there was a large dog lying not far from the keyboard, I was sure that was the dog that had been chewing on the keys. The salesman came back over and asked if I had made a decision, I said I would have to get the cheapest one, but it had been chewed on… he looked at it and laughed. He said not to worry, I wasn't buying the display model, which they let the dog chew on so she wouldn't chew on random customers. I noticed the dog was now chewing on a violin…

I was debating whether or not to get the keyboard, Tigress was there beside me. She asked me if I was sure I could afford to do that, she said it would be cool to get a new one, but it wouldn't be so cool if it got me in trouble financially. For some reason I couldn't help but notice the fact that when my ex boyfriend, James, had been with me and I had wanted to buy something expensive, he had encouraged me to go ahead and do it, but Tigress was cautioning me to be careful about it. I looked at the partially chewed on keyboard, lost in indecision on what to do about it, and that's what I was still doing when I woke.