In my dream my husband is out of town (as he is in real life). In my dream I asked a coworker out on a date, and he happily accepted. See this is a perfect example of why I want to lucid dream. This is not who I am in waking life. This is not who I want to be. This is not who I choose to be. Yes, I am lonely when my husband is out of town I get it. I will also admit that I like this coworker ... as a coworker, as a buddy, as someone to share ideas with and to joke with. Infidelity is a big no-no for me, and I also get that my mind therefore decided to present me with this scenario to shock me, to tell me "See I know how to push your buttons." Here is something that would really bother you. But we already knew that! We already knew that I am struggling with self-esteem issues and with taking control over who I want to perceive myself as and deciding what is proper. This however I know is not proper. And I refuse to think that I "need" this, so subconscious fuck off! I am going to relearn lucid dreaming, and make sure that I get to decide what I do and what is right for me. If I am so fucking lonely tonight, why not give me a dream of my husband instead. That would have been nice, ok? But no, my subconscious, you decided to play games with me. Well, I don't appreciate that! In an hour I need to get up and go to work and face this coworker, and forget that my subconscious asked him out on a date.
Updated 03-05-2013 at 11:56 AM by 61501
I live in an unfamiliar apartment building. The hallways and elevators are very complicated. It's easy to get lost and disoriented. I'm riding the elevator, which is a huge freight elevator. Everything seems to be made of industrial cast iron, painted a gaudy pale blue. On the elevator are two young women, Asian, about my age. They are chatting with each other about nothing in particular. When we reach the bottom, there's an Asian man who is delivering furniture. One of the girls asks the delivery man when her oven will arrive. She seems upset because it's late. The man says today is Monday and it won't arrive until Wednesday. The problem is that the building is complicated and it slows down deliveries. I don't interact. I'm just observing. I leave this scene and walk to a different part of the building, getting lost. I walk up a staircase. I pass by a guy. Blond hair and athletic with a backpack. He says hello and says we should get a beer another time. Okay, nice guy. I wonder through the hallways, trying to find my apartment. I finally find my apartment. Anne is my roommate. She is very pregnant. She is wearing a black dress. Very sharp yet still appropriate for a pregnant woman. Just outside our apartment, there is a hipster-looking guy with a beard. He gets the attention of several tenants around him. He announces that he posted a bunch of photos on facebook of our building so that people will become more familiar with it and not be confused. This seems to please the crowd, which has somehow filled the hallways to standing-room-only. The hallway is open to the outside and we can see across the street, there is a sports field. A small one, like a high school football field with a few grandstands. The mob in the apartment hallway becomes rowdy and we start doing things people do in the stands of a stadium. We do the wave, stomp the ground, chant, sing songs, and use noisemakers. It's fun for a while but I'm tiring of it. I just want to get to my apartment and find some quiet. I'm also concerned about Anne. I hope she's okay in this mob of people.
I'm in a room full of my coworkers. Everyone is in formal business dress. It seems we are on retreat. I wander in and around this building. There are tourists. This part of the dream is hazy. I think I walked back and forth through a hallways looking for a particular room. I walk up a staircase and rejoin my coworkers. Everyone sits. The boss stands at front and begins to give us an inspirational talk. But it quickly turns to frustration and desperation. He says he's tired of hearing criticism from the board about all of us. He distributes a handout of several pages stapled. The top page is a deep red. The rest are white. The pages have emails from the board about us. The very first one is about me. It says I'm unproductive and waste time and cost too much to pay. I am annoyed but I realize that the emails are just personal attacks and not really constructive. I think this is the point the boss was trying to make. That the board don't know what they are talking about, just trying to cover their own by attacking us personally. He says we're going to have a fresh start tomorrow. He dismisses everyone. Everyone else heads to the door, making conversation. Instead, I reach for my laptop out of my bag. I find a quiet room and plug it in. I want to start working right away.
I'm not sure if this was one dream or two. I recalled them together and they had a connected plot. I was really mad at the end. Like really, really mad! The emotion lingered for a while after waking up. I rarely feel anger, so on the occasion that I do, it's almost a welcome experience. Mall Shops, Cheats I'm in a competition with Lance. We are owners of small shops in a shopping mall. The competition is to own more shops than the other. Apparently, it's just a computer program because I easily find how to cheat by editing my character data. I give myself all the max stats and money. Lance and I both use this cheat. We quickly realize that this ruins the fun of it. So agree to not cheat. Lance buys a bar that sits in the middle of the mall and gets a lot of foot traffic. I write a program to make money off the bar for Lance. I am reluctant because I know the game is so easy to cheat that someone will use my program to steal money. But I do it anyway. I finish and decide to have a few drinks. Work From Home, Fire I have a false awakening. I still feel tipsy from the drinks of the previous dream. I must not have slept very long. I am in an apartment but it's nothing like my waking life. I look at a clock: 12:56 in the afternoon. I check my laptop. There's an urgent IM from work from just a few minutes ago. The producer wants me to shut down the bar program that I wrote in the previous dream. As I expected, someone is exploiting it to steal money. I'm glad I woke up just in time. I know what to do, I just need to change a few lines of code and upload it to the server. But now I become aware of two other people in my apartment. One is Garrett (an ex-coworker that I didn't like). The other is a young woman who I don't recognize but seems familiar. I intuit that she is my roommate so she has a right to be here and Garrett is her guest. It occurred to me that maybe it was my sister, but the girl was definitely blonde. Anyway, they are chit chatting about nothing in particular in the kitchen. I need to work so I'm annoyed that they are disturbing me. I carry my laptop to the kitchen and place it on the stove top. I forgot the power cable. I fetch the power cable from and plug the laptop into a power socket that is oddly on the edge of the counter near the stove. I forgot the network cable. I search the apartment for it. As I search, Garrett and the girl and collecting their coats to leave. I am silently relieved that I will have some peace to work. Still searching in another room, I overhear them conversing. It turns out they decided not to leave. Instead they have the sudden urge to have sex. My reaction is "ugh, great...." It is a surprise because I intuited that the girl wasn't attracted to Garrett. Still, my reaction is mostly one of indifference and mild annoyance. They are having sex on the floor next to a closet with sliding doors. I see the network cable on the floor in the closet. I careful step around them, trying not to touch them. I say something sarcastic like "don't mind me and don't let me interrupt your garden-variety sex while I get this wire." Garrett becomes enraged by what I said, especially the words "garden-variety." He gives the girl a few final thrusts and finishes. Then he stands up and confronts me. I ignore him and take the cable to the kitchen. Garrett follows me and continues to yell and spew. I plug the cable into the laptop on one end and into the freezer on the other. I realize in the moment that this is strange but not enough to become lucid. Garrett throws something heavy at me. I dodge the projectile and it hits the stove top. Garrett storms off and out the door. Good riddance. I turn to look at the stove and see that the gas knobs are damaged. A small flame is lit from each of them. I think if I can just turn them off then I can safely shut of the gas and get it repaired. I reach with my hand but quickly pull it back; too hot. I find a broom handle and reach with it to tap the knobs. The flame only grows. It's clear to me that the damage is increasing and will soon become disaster. I see on the wall above the stove the two master gas line valves. They aren't on fire yet. I try to reach them with the broom stick but I can get the leverage to rotate the valve with just a stick. I start to panic. I can't stop this. The whole apartment is going to catch fire. I think of my roommate and worry for her safety. I intuit that her name is Laura or Lauren. I call for her to see if she is still in the apartment. I need to get everyone out before the fire gets worse. The glow from the gas flames gets brighter and brighter. I need to call the fire department. Wait, I think, I might have a fire extinguisher. Let me try that as one last chance to avert disaster. I scramble around the kitchen, searching the cabinets for the fire extinguisher. The metal of the stove now is glowing red hot. It looks ready to explode. By now, I feel more anger than panic. This is all Garrett's fault! I decide I should just run to get the heck out of there. Wake
Mother and Sister Arguing I'm in the Daisetta house. Mother and sister are arguing (as usual) in the kitchen. My mother calls my sister "stupid" and my sister is very sad and upset. For once, I defend my sister and call my mother stupid. I want to make her feel the same way my sister does so that see can feel empathy. Kids I have three kids, a boy of about 10, a girl, and a younger boy. They are playing around the house. I keep calling the oldest boy "Superman" but then I don't know what to call the younger boy. I think "Little Superman" or "Superman's Sidekick" but he doesn't want to be called little. Also in the house is Lance. It seems we're acting out a shooting game. He is sneaking around the house trying to reach the living room. I shoot him to defend. Short Scary Lucid I'm laying on a couch. I'm looking at myself in a mirror. But I know I'm wearing a sleep mask so I must be dreaming. I stand up and stablize. The room is mostly dark. In front of me is a window and behind me is the kitchen, somewhat like my real house. I walk into the kitchen and begin to recall a goal. I start to visualize a new scene. But I hear a creepy whispering voice that sounds like my sister. She says "Look what we found..." I fall through the floor to the level below. I'm not in a big empty room. Ahead I see a spotlight shining on one point of the floor that is covered with blood. I'm pulled toward the scene through the air. Slightly behind the spot light I can make out bloody bodies hanging from hooks on the sleep. I wake myself up. Macy's It's after the Super Bowl and I go to Macy's alone. The streets and the store are almost deserted, just a few people. I'm looking for some novelty to decorate my living room but I'm not sure what I'm looking for. As I enter, there's a salesman holding a deck of playing cards that light up. I think it's some kind of cheap magic trick. I ignore him and wander around the store, looking for something by nothing in particular if you know what I mean. I think I take a magazine. I've made a full loop around the store and didn't find anything. I see a different saleswomen now with the lit playing cards. She approaches me. She has blonde hair. She asks for my ZIP code and email address. I dodge the conversation, asking what the playing cards are. She pushes to get my ZIP code. I walk away. She walks to a nearby register and commiserates with another salesperson that she's not having any success selling the cards and she's frustrated. I haven't found anything so I intend to leave.
Fixer Upper Seemed like this fragment was toward the end of a longer dream that I don't recall. I'm moving into a new house with coworkers. They have found a place and take me with the realtor to see it. I realize it is my old house on Daisetta. But I don't say this right away. In the living room is my old furniture, now very worn and dirty. In the backyard, it looks like a mudslide. The hill of dirt has overflown the retaining wall and piles of dirt have spilled into the yard. The swimming pool is have full of sandy dirty. The tiles on the pool lip are mostly broken and gone. I wonder if I should say that I know this place. I wonder if I should ask what happened. My coworkers don't seem to mind all the damage. They are talking with the realtor like it's a "fixer upper".
7/25/2011 3:00am Part One "Breathing Apparatus" I was in a crowd near a pond watching a large goofy looking man explaining life. He talked about love, his woman, and something about death. People start leaving and the man's woman's mother tries to stop them from leaving. She babbles on "blah, blah, blah" The crowd's exodus turns into something of a game of hide and seek. After running over a small sand dune, running across some grass and down a road I came around to the opposite side of the large pond. I dive in and swim across underneath the surface using a strange breathing apparatus. It was shaped like an extruded squarish U.S.B. port about 1 inch long and 1/2 inch wide. Inside the apparatus was slid a piece of metal with holes in it. Front view of screen---> _|""|_ side view---> |""""""""|. The breathing apparatus was also like a whistle. I came out of the water and climbed up onto the base of a metal tower near the members of the crowd that hadn't left. There were four young couples( 2 girls sitting on the 2boys laps). At their feet was an empty computer case and some more breathing apparatus parts. Part Two "Realizing I'm a Ghost" I watch to building maintenance looking fellows slide a coffin into its place which was a hole in the corner of the room. My point of view changes and I am laying on my back looking up at them inside the wall space. One had a flash-light and was doing some electrical work, and installing my coffin. The other guy spoke some words over the deceased "Well Mevin(one of their names)...Lived know they aren't, know iev they ain't". Somehow this meant something along the lines of "Well at least the dead lived and that is nice." I then see Ben A. from work and am startled to realize that I am floating right up near his face. "Ah Hi there!" I shake his hand. Mevin tells Ben that I am supposed to be in the coffin but doesn't see me. I figured maybe I was in the coffin so I floated by Ben's face and said "Ooooohhooo". I check the name on the coffin and a locker door / dry wall that partitioned the coffin from the room. It felt spooky to realize that I was a ghost. I then woke up.
I had a dream about work, where there were 2 machines in the shop. Someone was telling me about a problem one was having. In the process, I bumped the machine causing an error that I didn't have time to fix because my shift was over. So I went to our locker area. It seemed like people from all 3 shifts were just working on day shift with me, it was so crowded. I had to wait my turn to get to my locker. Finally when I could look for my locker, I notice it is missing. As I start to question where could it be? My coworker Drew says he is keeping it safe. So I trust him and don't worry about it. I went back to sleep, and just had fragments now. A rancher was showing me that he was keeping cows in the swampy areas. One cow per fenced in area, where the area was smaller than usual but enough to supply food for the cow. When I awoke this time I could hear the song, The Thing that Should Not Be by Metallica playing inside my head. Sure my alarm was going off and I was hitting snooze, but I have the radio station set to 103.5 fm, which only plays christian music.
A Kiss This dream was about AC, my coworker and friend. Kinda weird. I've never dreamed about her before and I don't really think of her in a romantic way. AC and I are in the office and we get called down to a warehouse (the scene is a lot like the warehouse in the TV show The Office). We go in and it's just me her and some guy who is lecturing to us about something and then shows us a video on a small TV set. I don't remember much of it. My recall is hazy. Then I recall sitting on a blanket with AC like a picnic and we're just talking, not paying attention to the video. Then she suddenly gets giddy and lays down on her back and pulls me on top of her. We are face to face and she's smiling and her face is flushed red. She's giving me that look like "kiss me now!". I remark just how pretty she is and how happy she looks. I kiss her. That's all I remember.
I wasn't aware that I was doing this yesterday, but when I read about dream incubation this morning, I saw that that's what I had unintentionally done last night. But even though I didn't know about incubation, before I fell asleep, I had a feeling it was going to happen. Yesterday, I was looking at shurikens (ninja throwing stars) almost all afternoon. I'm also almost finished reading a book on ninja mind manipulation throughout history. I DON'T study ninjitsu, btw. Anyway, here's the dream: ~>>*<<~ I'm part of a traveling team of heroes who dish out justice with ... custom-made shurikens. We have a medium sized staff that operates our team vehicle -- a high-end bus/truck that's a mobile HQ control center. It's got all kinds of high tech gadgetry -- communication stuff, tracking stuff, media stuff, etc. So, apparently, when someone is in danger, it registers on our systems and a combat team member is dispatched (armed to the teeth with shurikens of course). Anyway, someone was in danger and one of the staff shouts for me to deploy to (?)Dallas(?). As soon as she says that, my project manager from work jumps out of nowhere and goes "He can't do that one! It's not priority! He's working on a project for me!" and disappears. I tell the staff member to try another location. As she's looking, she screams (pretty much horrified) "OH NOOOO!" ~>><<~ That's it. If you're wondering what my little symbols and things are, they closely resemble the symbols I use in my own dream journal at home: ~>>*<<~ is "Dream begins." ~>>...<<~ is "I don't remember the beginning of the dream, but this is the point from which I recall." ~>>O<<~ is "Dream ends." ~>><<~ is "Dream ends and I wake up right then." (?)any words(?) means "I THINK that's what was said." or "I THINK that's what was done" or "I THINK that's what I saw." I'm sure I'll come up with other symbols for more stuff as I move along.
12:00 AM At a tiny bay just past a water inlet I stood at the grassy shore. Randy from work was there. A stone pillar about 2' wide barely poking out of the water was like a tiny island. On the top were symbols (something about matching symbols and clicking them) (something about cleaning the island)... Disks were being tossed in the water. I dove in to collect them (like at the pool with water rings). After collecting them the water level rose up from being low to high.
Method DILD Lucidity C Vividness C Control C Not sure what triggered me to become lucid. I was doing something unusual and thought: wait, I must be dreaming! So I become lucid and, as usual lately, I'm not prepared with a plan. I look around and, much to my surprise, I see SO, an former coworker with whom I had an awkward romantic encounter. She is walking away from me and there a few other random DCs around. I take a few quick steps to catch up to SO and turn her around by the shoulders to face me. Her face looks sad or aged, like she has been crying. She smiles at me. I think I say something to her but I don't remember what. Then I turn and grab another woman next to me. She is blond and attractive. I rip open her buttoned blouse. SO is still in my mind. I'm not sure why I turn to this other woman. Maybe I am trying to make SO jealous? Anyway, then I focus more on the blond and have sex. It was just okay. I was focusing on the visual detail, which was quite vivid. But in retrospect, ignoring the tactile sensation makes for not the best sex.
Still not writing in my paper journal so my non-lucid recall is poor. Bad Sisyphus, bad. fragment Only remember that it was unpleasant. fragment Also something stressful and unpleasant. New Office IWL, I'm changing jobs very soon. That explains the content of this dream. I enter an office. It's small, just big enough for 3x3 grid of cubicles. On one side there is a desk for the receptionist and another desk with a computer labeled "Visitor". Overall, it feel more like a classroom than an office. Anyway, I'm with MS. We go to his desk and I expect him to show me where my desk will be. But he walks off and I'm left standing there. MS starts talking to an Indian girl. I walk toward the receptionist and tell her that I know MS and I'm here to see MA. She doesn't do anything and I get a bit upset. I sit down on the carpet in front of the Visitor desk. The Indian girl sits near me. She says she is going to be the lead of some department and she will be my supervisor. I am dubious and again upset. I'm an engineer, not some CSR. MS brings the Indian girl a tray of food, like in a school cafeteria. I try to catch MS's attention so we can go about our business but he doesn't notice me. Short Falling Method WILD Last cycle of the night I attempt a WILD using the fall-through-the-bed technique. I manage to fall and feel the rush of air around me. As usual, it's dark with brief flashes of light. But as I'm trying to summon my landing point, the dream fades. Bummer.
Working on getting my recall back up. I think I had at least 3 dreams this night. The lucid is the only one can recall now. Flying, Office, False Awakenings Method DILD (false awakening) Lucidity C Vividness B Control B False awakening. I hear the voice of Collin, an old friend who I haven't seen in years. That can't be. I sense that I am in my bedroom from the Daisetta house. I must be dreaming. It's dark. I try to get up but my body seems paralyzed. I can tilt my head enough to look at my hands. I can rub them. I still seem paralyzed, but then dream time skips a few seconds. Now I'm standing in the hallway outside the bedroom and I can move freely. I walk toward the living room where some lights are on. I hear my mother's voice. Wait. I realize my vision is blurry. I turn back toward the bedroom with the intent of finding my glasses. Collin is behind me and he is holding my glasses. I take them from him, put them on, and now my vision is clear (I love that trick). I walk out to the backyard, ignoring my mother and Collin. It's dark and very foggy outside. I hop up on the picnic table and launch into the air. I fly straight up about 20 stories and then stop hover and look down to get my bearings. The many houses and street lamps glow dimly in the dense fog. I want to fly to my office. I look south-east to the horizon and see dim lights of a large building. That must be it (IWL, it's much further than that) I fly Superman-style toward the buliding, willing myself to go as fast as I can. I arrive, land outside, and burst through the door with great momentum. I slow down to see where I have arrived. Entering the main door, the interior doesn't look like my office as I expected. It just looks like a long corridor with generic office suites on either side. More like a prison (which, actually, is still an apt description of work). Not discouraged, I wander down the corridor and follow it a few turns. I turn one corner and am surprised to see my office lobby. Cool! Now I follow the real layout of the office toward RH's room. The office furniture looks very different. The chairs are dark brown wicker and there are big leafy fern plants. It's looks like the decor of a hotel in the Caribbean. RH isn't in her office. Next door, I hear her neighbor's voice saying that RH left. I give up on RH and look through the rest of the office. I peek over the cubical walls, looking for someone I recognize. Then I jump and balance on top of the cubical wall for an easier view. "Where is BG?" I say aloud. She isn't at her desk. I hear a voice say, "She moved to a new seat." I turn around and see a reception desk that doesn't exist IWL. BG is bent over under the desk, pulling out something. "I'm here!" she says. She stands up and I jump from the cubical wall to land in front of her. It doesn't really look like her, which is a bit disappointing. She is wearing a black dress and her hair is black and styled up. I say hello and grab her hand, so as to lead her around the office as I look for more recognizable people. Now the dream changes abruptly into another false awakening. I'm laying on a bed. It's light. I look down and I am naked and with no blanket. In the room I see four people who look like old hillbillies. They are dressed in plaid shirts and denim overalls. They look at me and start to walk toward me, very slowly like zombies. Ugh, I don't want to be here. Dream skips again into another false awakening. I am in my own bed. I tilt my head back and my body starts to sink into the bed. One more awakening, this time for real.
These were long dreams, but don't really have time to go into great details. Parking I don't remember the sequence of events too well. Something about my apartment. Then parking my car in the parking lot. I'm in a hurry so I do a sloppy parking job, blocking the spot next to me. I imagine a pickup truck is there. Then I am back in the apartment. I hear a knock at my door. It's someone from the apartment office. They are yelling that my car is blocking another person and I need to move it. Then I woke up and heard the banging sound of the construction site across the street. For a moment, it sounded like a knock at my door, just as in the dream. It took me a few moments to convince myself that the dream was just a dream and I didn't have to move my car for real. Paycheck I'm at work. I walk past Rachel in the hall. I sense she's trying to make eye contact, but I avoid her. She's wearing a pink t-shirt. I enter my office and sit down. I notice that my desk is facing the wrong way, toward the wall instead of toward the door. A man walks in and hand me my paycheck. I don't recognize him. I assume he must be new in the HR department. The paycheck looks weird. It looks like a Scantron test form like in high school. The amount is wrong too. It's about $450 dollars, I don't recall the exact number. That's way too low. I think for a moment that it's because it is February and that's a short month. So I walk to Rachel's office ask her about it.
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