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#397 - DEILD - 7:08AM

My WBTB was around 2:30AM and I kept it super brief. I was up only long enough to take some galantamine and wash it down with cold peppermint tea. This G night was a little disappointing since I didn't start becoming aware until much later in the morning. I suppose it was because I have been having back issues and I over did it with muscle relaxers pre-bed making me extra tired. Sometimes its hard to find that balance between dream and wakefulness that's required for LD and a lot of thinks factor into it.

I partially wake from a dream and enter DEILD. I have vibrations and slowly float out of body. I see something odd made of red laser light but I ignore it since I feel really unstable. I exit the room and find myself in what looks like D's house (my mom's friend). I haven't been here since I was little and I am surprised it's showed up in this dream. I just want to get outside so I exit the front door. There is a lot of stuff out there and I spot a cat curled up sleeping in a cushioned chair. I reach down and pet the cat on the head. The cat responds with a low purring meow sound and I walk away. I step into the yard only to find the edge of dream world disappearing into the void. I don't want to deal with that so I try entering another part of the house. I open a door but there is void in there too. Instead of stepping in, I reach an arm in and feel around for a light switch. The dream seams to be breaking up so I look back at the well lit porch for stability. After flipping the switch, I look back to see nothing has happened. I enter the room anyway and find myself lost in the void. I try going back but the door I came in is no longer there. I need stimuli and go with the first thing I think of. Sex. I blind summon a naked female body and couple with her. Her face look sort of familiar but no one I really recognized. We make out and things start to become more sexual but I stop as I begin to feel a bit of guilt. The dream crashes here and I wake up.

#398 - DILD - 8:53AM

I am at the park up the road from my house looking at my old Ford Ranger that I used to own in waking life. There is a wheel missing and the other tires are flat. For some reason I have a push lawn mower and my mountain bike. I really want to ride the bike but I don't want to leave the mower here. I try putting the mower in the truck cab but it wont fit. I realize I drove my SUV and fit the mower in the back of that. I spot some tough looking men with colorful glasses strutting by. I worry that they are up to no good but they don't bother me or my stuff. I feel the need for some shades and spot some white ones in the front seat and put them on. I realize that I don't usually wear white but I figure I may as well try something different. There was a lot of time spent here messing around with things but I finally feel content and decide to hop on my bike.

As I ride my bike toward the street I notice something feels odd. I look down and see the tires are flat on the bicycle. I decide to keep pedaling as I head in the direction of the gas station to get air. I tell myself that if I pretend the tires are normal then they will be. This thought reminds me of dream control and brings me to full lucidity.I am nearly into the street now and I decide that I will be able to ride super fast with the cars. Unfortunately, it's kind of slow and difficult like riding up hill. Although I can't pull of the speed thing, I know I can't be hurt so, I decide to mess with the oncoming traffic. I spy and orange car and pedal hard toward it expecting some sort of impact. Just before the collusion, my front tire jams up sending me over the handle bars and the car vanishes just before it hits me. This is disorienting but thrilling at the same time. I get back on my bike to experiment with this again but before I get going, someone makes a noise in the other room and wakes me up.

I have two other instances during the morning trying to DEILD. I recall hitting vibrations and trying to move my dream body but not getting very far. I recall very little else and assume I must have lost concentration.

Lying in bed, trying to WILD/fall asleep. Watching FMA Brotherhood with wife. Scar is speaking; wife comments on his scarred face. He looks a little weird to me--part of his face is white (Scar's character is brown-skinned in the show). Fast-paced outro music begins:



It seems clear that Scar is going to die in this next episode. My wife talks about them playing up his sacrifice. I am now looking at a Super Mario Bros. screen. Realize it is a dream, but am not sure if this is a transition so do nothing. Currently I have no body. Playing Mario Bros. 3 world 1 map music: (sorry gang, couldn't post two videos--look the second one up!)

Mario flies off wearing his cape from Super Mario World. The game transitions to some weird game with a naked baby's butt. Dream has solidified now and I have a body. I slap the baby's butt through the screen to see if I can interact with the game. I don't feel anything except for the t.v. screen, but the character reacts. I try to pick the baby up this fails. Danie Radcliffe from Harry Potter is sitting in a hot tub. He criticizes me for not picking up the baby correctly. I knock him backwards into the water. Move around the screen a bit--maybe some kind of office in isometric third-person view, like the old Crusader games. Some zombies wandering around. I decide I don't want to play a game for my entire LD, so I get up and leave the room.

Emerge in my mom's house, then remember to observe the dream. A thought comes up: can I remember any of the January tasks? Ah yes, I remember to new ones. Shouldn't be hard. But I'm not going to try hard. Just observe, and if the necessary tools emerge, then use them. I think I see a component resting on a cabinet, but when I look it is not there. I am looking inside of a cabinet when I wake up. Lie still and begin DEILD transition. Roll off of the mat and am falling through space. Seems to be going well, but keep knocking against something as I fall. I try to ignore it but then wake up. Try once more, then RC and write this down.

After lying awake, DEILD. Fall through space. A creature is flying in gray DEILD space in front of me, but is hazy and not fully-formed. He looks threatening, so I close my dream eyes in the hope that he will dissipate. I open them in a bit and he is still there. Things begin to solidify. He attacks, latching onto my arm and biting. Whatever, I look away from him and he disappears. I land in a laundry room (?) or maybe pet store, a bit fuzzy here. A small kitten latches onto my arm in the same place. What is up with this negativity? I peel him off and head out of this room, and jarringly appear in my own house.

At this point, the stability and vividness of the dream increase dramatically, shocking me. For a moment, I feel as if I have accidentally just walked down the hall of my house, but I remember that I am dreaming, and that this isn't real, and nose pinch a couple of times (both times air cleanly passed through my dream nostrils). My cats (and some of the local strays) are locked in a big snarl of a fight, inside a soft, plushy cat-house. I decide to generate some positive energy, and do this while holding my hands out toward them. They ignore me and continue fighting. It is a huge rat's nest of fighting, with small kittens now added into the mess. I finally make loud noise to run them off. They all flee. I head into a bedroom.

It is here that I remember to observe the dream. I do this and focus on the seeming solidity (the ridiculous, mind-bending seeming solidity) of the dream. I test it by pressing my fingers against the dark brown wood of a bunk bed. I try to just take a piece away, which fails. I then try to press my fingers into the wood, which fails as well. Interesting. I recall my goal to meditate, but I brush it off. I go out of this room, back through the hall, and step outside.

There is an expanse of wet ground, marsh-like, but sort of like a retention pond as well. I then think of a beautiful woman I reason that being in a dream, it will be easy to find a pretty girl. I head back into the house. There is a new development--a carpeted ramp in bubblegum-pink and purple, like a very "girly-girl" rainbow. Seems like girls will be this way. There are balloons on the ramp as well, making me think a party is going on. I begin walking up the ramp. The balloons try to latch onto me as I am walking upward, in a somewhat normal, "oh, the strings are sticking to me" sort of way. I strip them off and keep going.

I now realize that getting to this party involves a vertical climb (like at a rock gym) and there is another rainbow story above. I look over and see an open classroom, with a blonde woman sitting behind the teacher's desk. Cannot tell if she is young or old. I look closer, pretty young, late 20's? Quite pretty, looks like Lucy Lawless. That will work.

I go up to her. She seems busy and initially ignores me. I am somehow already naked so I just stand in front of her in a "notice me" kind of fashion. "Hi, Samantha!" she says. I smile but do not respond. She starts to sort through papers, as though she has been expecting me. I stand a bit closer, and she finally "notices" me. We have fun and I wake up.

5:55 AM: Close to lucidity a few times (in high school again, both with people my own age and people who are not). Finally, I am driving with my wife. Not sure how, but enough weird stuff occurs that I nose pinch. I am nose pinching, and about to say that it is not a dream, when I realize I can actually breathe. I look at my wife and say, "I can breathe!" She smiles and is RCing as well. I am still not sure. Jokingly, I say, "I am going to do one more RC." I then open the car door as we are speeding along. "If this is a dream, I can jump out and be OK." She doesn't say anything. I look at my hands. They are a little off, but otherwise normal. I look away and look back several times. Finally, I only have two fingers, and one of them is twisted up like an ugly tree root.

"I've only got two fingers!" I say to my wife in a "this is ridiculous" tone of voice. "This is a dream." I then jump out of the car. I glide to a stop, as though the car was never moving at all. My wife gets out of the car too. We are in a wooded area, and there is a dirt cliff high above us. My wife easily flies up to this spot. I decide to follow, but can't fly after her. I begin practicing what I had told myself in WL: I'm flying, I think, I'm flying! It doesn't work, though, so I jump and start climbing up the dirt cliff. My wife extends her hand down to me to help me up. I wake up and then DEILD.

I roll left (not normal) and fall through space. I am in darkness for a bit, but then "open my dream eyes." I am falling through some cavernous area, with Egyptian iconography. I see a sign that looks like an advertisement for the Discovery channel. I finally land in what I think was a ruin of sorts.

I sense the gravity is low here. I moon jump through the house. Fun! I notice the house becoming more "house-like" and less ruin-like. In the bathroom, I look around the shower curtain to see who is there. Nobody. I look away and look back, expecting a beautiful woman to be there. Surprise! No, she is not there. I try this a couple of times, to no effect. I then see some shadows in the soap dish. The shadows begin to form into little silhouettes of goblins. I begin interacting with them, and begin to pretend to be mean. They respond by swinging little weapons around (I remember one swinging a tiny flail). I remember to give them positive energy. They really seem to hate it, as they begin screaming. I tickle them and they start dying. I wake up.

MILD for a few minutes then return to sleep. I am driving along a mountain path and listening to a rock song. I think to myself how this singer has a melodious voice, when I suddenly wonder if this is real or not. I nose pinch but find it difficult to breathe. I stop the car by putting my feet down and lifting the main wheel up. I then look out over a cliff at the town below. I think of how I would love to jump from here, if I could just be sure I was dreaming. I sense for my WL body.Hey, there it is! but unfortunately I wake up.

I'm in my bedroom, sitting at the floor at the bottom of my bed with my pillow. Strange mites start to come out of the pillow and I wake up.

[I perform a cheeky DEILD, visualising myself again with the pillow (but without the mites, I didn't like them )]

I'm back in the dream on the floor with my pillow. Thankfully there are no more mites. I look at my palms and indeed they look strange, but I can hardly see them because it's dark - I feel I need some light to help stabilise the dream.
I feel anxious, though I try to stay calm, breath deeply and focus on the surrounding environment but it doesn't really help.
I let myself float up to a standing position in order to walk to the light switch. When I see it, I remember from previous experience that switches don't tend to work in dreams, so I calmly speak "light on" and indeed the bedroom light does come on, albeit dimly. Unfortunately it isn't light enough to see my palms properly - I wake up quite quickly after that.

[Upon waking I attempt an SSILD but fail - I can't get comfy and I can't get back to sleep for about an hour anyway. It might be to do with the alcohol drinking during festivites, even though I hadn't drunk anything the day of this dream.]

A vivid NLD of me playing an arcade game with my wife (similar to something like Double Dragon, back in the day, but with a Golden Axe flair). The joysticks are old-fashioned (plastic and stiff). The game screen slowly becomes more panoramic and immersive, so that I seem to be right on top of my character, watching fight an enemy. I wake up from this, and then DEILD. The transition rolls me over several times. Unfortunately, I do not remember what happened in this dream but I wake up, and DEILD again. The transition is once again the same (rolling across the mat) except this time I fall out of anonexistent bed and onto the floor. I sit for a moment. Am I asleep? I nose pinch.With lucidity comes a raging hard-on. I imagine some beautiful woman appearing in the bedroom. She does not show up, so I go in search of her. The doors to the bedroom are folding closet doors. I phase through them. I pass through the wood, but my body doesn't want to go through the metal hinges. Now I am dragging a set of closet doors with me as I walk through what looks like a dark, empty shopping mall. I break the metal joints apart, and more continue to form (there end up being like seven hinges) but I finally break all of them and get the doors off of me. Now where would a beautiful be? I walk down the thoroughfare for a bit, and then turn and head back the way I came. On my left is a store with closet doors as the outside walls. I walk a ways, thinking I will find the entrance. Just more closet door-walls. I think to myself that these doors could go on forever when I wake up.

DEILD. Transition but am still lying on mat. Body feels incredibly heavy; I RC, but almost just "go back to sleep" because it is so hard to move. I reason that that would be pointless, however, because I am already asleep. I decide to get up, and as I do, my body becomes lighter and lighter, and until I just fly out of bed. I run out of the room on all fours.

Cats are out in the living room. My father's cat is here, which is odd, and he eyes me suspiciously as I come charging out. He seems scared, and then attacks and bites me. I hit him in face with a pillow. Then try to make friends. He seems pissed. My wife then comes out of the bedroom. I suddenly realize that this dream is scary, and things could go wrong if I let my emotions get worked up. So I still my mind and focus on people liking me

My wife seems happy to see me. She tells me to go get ready for bed, because she wants "quality time." I consider telling her this is a dream, but I do not I wake up.

I am reading a secret/restricted Jehovah's Witnesses' text called "Watchtower" In it, a discussion about a certain river where initiations and enlightenment have occurred. I go to the river. I am swimming up it, into a cave. I have a vision/flashback (?) of Gurdjieff trying to bring someone to enlightenment. He gives this man a baby. The man is at the river for the purpose of enlightenment, and is displeased to have to take care of a child. Then he becomes attached to the child. He fears for its safety. Gurdjieff comes back, and turns the child into dust. It sinks into the river. The man is devastated. Gurdjieff explains:

"At first you did not want the child. You were blown by the winds of karma one way. Then you wanted the child. You were blown the other way. Now I have taken the child, and you suffer for it." The man asks if he is close to enlightenment. Gurdjieff laughs and says there are many stages.

I swim back toward the mouth of the cave and down a small waterfall. The river has become a water park, and I accidentally bump someone coming up the waterfall (?). Segue into a FA: "wake up" at a pool. I am wondering if this is a dream when my wife asks the same question. I nose pinch and can breathe. We walk around the pool together; not super lucid, as I think my wife is real. We see a girl DC. I start fooling around with her, and she starts to rub my wife's breasts. My wife pulls away, and says it feels uncomfortable. I think to show off my dream control, and order the DC to run across the street. She does, and a path appears for her to run on. I urge her onward. Finally awake into a FA; my wife is awake, and I question her about the dream, but she says was not there. I assume it was a just a "normal" LD and return to sleep. I then wake up.

Dream WILD: Talking to my aunt on the phone; we decide to LD together. We enter the dream, and try to help some man find his daughter. More of a semi-lucid, although I was aware I was dreaming. Tough call She tells me about using LDing to contact my dead grandfather. She keeps calling it "remedying" though (like REMedying . . . .)Another FA with my wife. She has her nightlight on. We talk about something, and then I go "back" to sleep.

A dream about not being able to fall asleep. I finally take Sageous's advice to get up and do something else. I decide to make some tea. I use AnotherDreamer's recipe, made out of sunflower leaves and apple chips. I start eating the apple chips. I check my watch twice as an RC, and the numbers do change, but this is not enough to trigger me. In fact, I think I ignore it altogether.

Scary non-lucid about losing my kitten. She jumps out of the car at a rest stop and runs off. I catch her once, but she gets away again. I call out to her but she does not come back. Some people seem to have found a kitten; it has spots though, and is not her. "That is not my baby," I say to the girl. She takes the kitten back. Awake from this and DEILD. Transition rolls me over and over and over. Unfortunately, don't remember a thing about what happened, except that I woke up, and DEILDed again, with a similar transition.

I am walking through some building. I walk downstairs and up to a huge glass wall. I phase through easily. I then am outside in a grassy area (something like a college campus). There is a very thick brick wall near me. I am phasing through when I suddenly lose my confidence; wall is very thick and I worry about becoming trapped inside. Remember I wanted to work on flying. Just can't seem to get into the air. I try flying like Superman. Nada. I shrug.

Wake up, try for another DEILD but reenter non-lucidly; a guy is sitting on me and talking about Emanuel Swedenborg. I tell him I'm not interested, and to get off of me, because I am trying to DEILD. A few minutes later I wake up.

Feel WILD set in, roll off of the mat. Am falling/flying for some time, but keeping my mind blank as I do. I am soaring around a house (my mom's house?), and the characters from the Simpsons live inside. I try to enter via a window, but accidentally break a window with my head. Scene instantly becomes hyper-realistic (not cartoon-like anymore) and the characters vanish. I have the feeling that, like a big oaf, I ruined this part of the dream. I walk inside the house.

Inside, I try practicing my dream control via perspective by crushing my bedroom door frame top to bottom. Nothing happens. I attempt a few more times, but still am unsuccessful. I leave the house and wander about. Yep, it's out in the country, just like waking life. I think how I will write down in my dream journal that this was a very long, very stable, very boring LD. Not much going on, and no DCs around. I decide to relax and see what "dream memories" come up (such as why I might be here, etc.). I wake up. Do some MILD and back to sleep.

Walking with my sister-in-law to a school for young kids. I am examining a wall mural the kids have done. I realize that it has something to do with Theravada Buddhism. I suddenly think, "The girls go to a Buddhist school?" I nose pinchand can breathe. My sister-in-law confirms my suspicions and says that the curriculum here is inspired by Theravada Buddhism; the kids are taught to be mindful of their one precious human life. Excited, I decide to see what the inside of the school looks like. I find a door and open it. Behind it is another door. This is funny to me, and undeterred, I open this door as well.

Inside, people are eating food and talking. I see a coworker eating. I look around, trying to decide who to talk to. There is a large man, with no shirt and a hairy chest, sitting in a sauna-like area and talking on a phone. This guy seems fairly impressive, so I decide to talk to him. He sees me waiting, then puts his phone away and greets me. I say I have a question about dreams, from a Theravadan perspective. He nods, then seems to consider my statement carefully. He then says,

"Well, suppose you have a tikkoku. That's kind of like a cocaku. You see?"

I say I don't quite see. I then think that I will tell him he is dreaming. He tells me he is unable to lucid dream.

"Pinch your nose!" I say. He shoves his finger up his nose perversely, and then begins tugging at his nostril. He becomes smaller and more imp-like. My own nostrils start to feel affected, and I realize he is just my own mind being overactive. My body unaccountably becomes aroused, and seeing this, the DC lunges at my crotch. Sigh. I hug the DC and tell him it's OK. He calms down quite a bit. I blank my mind and he stops moving altogether. Can't remember how but I soon wake up. Lie still and DEILD into next dream.

Mario Bros. screen with Bowser, too. I know it is a dream, and begin my slow fall (something that happens often to me during WILD and DEILD). I hear water (currently in darkness) and begin imagining a beach (trying to create scenery). I also begin imagining the opening scenes of FFVIII, along with the theme song, Liberi Fatali:



Scenery generates into a desert canyon (pretty close, sand, right?) with shallow water flowing along the sad swiftly. I am carried along on into a gorge/cave. Above, I see a hole in the ceiling, and fly up to investigate. Halfway up, I realize I am effortlessly flying, and begin to fall; I climb up a bit, and then fly the rest of the way. The hole is too small to get out of, so I begin scooping the rock away with my hands. I hear an evil laugh above; outside, there is a stormy sky, with a gray dragon flying above me. I feel terrified--at the dragon, at the feeling that the dream wants me to fight the dragon, and that the floor of the cave is so far below me. I remind myself that this is just a dream but it is not helping much. However, I decide to fly up and face the dragon. I am trying to get out of the hole when I wake up, heart pounding and very relieved. MILD and then return to sleep.

I am at work. A coworker comes up to me and asks me if I got an email. I say I did not, and ask what it was about. He says something that I can't understand. I ask him to repeat, and while I understand more, I still can't quite catch his meaning. I say, "something else someone wants me to do, right?" concerning the email. He looks embarrassed. Turns out the email concerns him getting promoted. Whatever. I reenter my work area, and food is laid out for everyone. A coworker has already begun eating. This seems vaguely against the rules, and I am about to reprimand her when I realize I'm dreaming. Sweet! I pop a piece of fried tofu into my mouth. I also shout, testing out my dream voice. It re-echoes oddly in my head. I wake up.

FA. I "wake up" on my sleeping mat, nose pinch and can breathe.I head into the dining room, where I attempt to fly through the ceiling. Not working too well, as I bang my head against the ceiling. I decide to just relax. I start to phase through head-first, but then get too excited that I am "really doing it" and get pushed back. Decide to phase through the front door and head out. Not sure what happens, but I wake up and

DEILD:

I roll off of my mat and fly through the transition, before slamming into a classroom. The lights are off, and the class is watching some movie. I see the teacher sitting at her desk, and thinking it would be funny to scare her, charge forward on all fours towards her. Not sure what happened, but I think I pull back at the last minute. I look around, and realize all of the students are kid-versions of people I knew in high school. I see some girl and give her a high-five!

I head out through the door, and find myself in some back hallway. I am able to fly up into the air off and on, rising and sinking, but all the while reminding myself that there is nothing here, and nothing really to do. I see some light fixtures and feel like pulling them down, so I "grab" them from a distance (using perspective) and rip them down. I then see a large ventilation thingy, and decide to crush that between my hands. I steadily press my palms together; at first, it seems as though it is not working, but then the entire structure collapses in on itself, and glass shatters. Pleased, I set off into the mall.

Lots of DCs, lots of people I know (I pass another old friend, whom I pat on the shoulder and say hello to). I end up in a food court area, with lots of food sitting out. I reach for a molten lava cake (a small cupcake), and cram it into my mouth):



Amazing. Very chocolatey. I eat it very slowly, not wanting my mouth in WL to start moving and accidentally wake me up (a problem in the past). In response to my care, the cake begins to glue my mouth shut. I also get some cake on my face. I ignore both of these effects, and continue my explorations in the clothing department. I begin looking for a DC to have sex with. I pass a few unsuitable candidates. I leave this area, and head out behind the mall (outside) behind some dumpsters. As I get farther from the mall, I find a girl lying on her back, smoking a joint. She is a cute girl I knew in high school (and whom I have not thought of in years). I lie down next to her and take her in my arms. She seems happy to see me. The dream ends.

#388 - DILD/DEILD - 6:46AM

I am entering a house with a young and mildly attractive woman. She is being flirty but I ignore this. She's talking about how she goes running to negate the bad effects of smoking. I tell her that this is really pointless, but she assures me that 10 miles a day is more than enough. I remain unconvinced but I let it go. She tells me that she wants me to go jogging with her but I tell her that it would look bad if we are seen together.

I sit on a couch in the living and she sprawls across a love seat adjacent to me. I notice she's removed most of her clothes and I can see she has grown much fatter with stretch marks and varicose veins all over her body. I notice she has a pretty face and think how its too bad the rest of her looks so horrible.

As I sit I quiet my mind and look around. I can see her family at a dinning table beyond with woman on the love seat. Something looks odd. It's took blurry. I can't make out the faces.
This is a dream. No. I'm just pretending. This is real life. I continue to stare at the family. They look so odd and motionless. Wait... No this might really be a dream. I worry that the dream will crash if I do anything, but I decide to go ahead and do a nose plug to settle my internal debate. I blow cleaning through. The dream crashes. I knew it!

I wake up and move a bit but quickly decide to hold still for DEILD. I focus on deeply relaxing my body and body awareness. I realize that I feel like I am being dragged like someone is pulling me by my though it doesn't feel like anyone has a hold of me. As soon as I note this the sensation stops. I focus on feeling it again and it starts back up. It slow at first but quickly accelerates to high speed. I feel G-forces in my stomach and gasp.

I notice that I am feeling very faint vibrations like tingles in my arms and decide that It's probably safe to move. When I pick up my left arm the dragging stops and I open my dream eyes. It's very sunny in the room and as I get up, I watch my feet move to the floor like I am looking at a foot cam.

I am in a very tiny version of my bedroom with no door to exit. There is only a night stand and a window. I see the window but think it would be funner to phase through the wall. I haven't done this in a while and I very sloppily try to push my face through. It feels like rubber so I try to claw and tear through. Unfortunately, as I struggle with this I am sucked back to my body in bed.

I hold still and wait and quickly see a scene form. I am laying in a sunny spot with trees around me. The green leaves look extremely vivid but when I try to move the scene crashes. I decide to focus and wait for another scene but quickly lose lucidity.


I recall some short and random scenes before waking up. I tell Wurlman about getting lucid. The woman from earlier pulls her pants down and shows me her ass. All those veins. I turn away. Other images that I can't recall.

I’ve been doing WILD (Wake Back to Bed) every night for the last month, and I’ve had many OBE’s (just about every night). The trick was learning when and then how to 'leap out'! I think I’ve got it figured out now.

Upon consciously waking from a dream, with my body still asleep, I could feel my body slightly floating on my bed sheets. Great! It’s time to 'leap out' of my body and have some fun! I leaped from my body and landed on the floor, standing beside my bed. Please note another good time to ‘leap out’ is towards the end of ‘the vibrations’. Relax to the point of unconsciousness and then leap to your feet. Do it in your mind, not physically, or else you really sit up in bed, and then you’re totally awake. This is where I kept messing up on early attempts.

One problem, I couldn’t see anything, but this didn’t slow me down. I headed towards the door and searched for the door knob. I needed to quickly get away from my body to prevent me from getting sucked back in there. It feels like there’s some strange force pulling me back, and I feel real heavy and sluggish. I must move away in order for this feeling to disappear. I felt around up and down the door until I found the knob. Found it! I turned it slowly and heard the latch click open and then I walked out. I’m free! I headed slowly down the hallway, totally blind. No problem though, I figured out what to do when you're blind in an OBE. Simply claw away at what’s covering your eyes and remove it piece by piece. I clawed about 6 to 8 times, and then I could see. My house was identical to waking life, but it was very dimly lit, because it was night time, and no lights were on. I walked down the stairs to the foyer and looked into the living room. I was about to focus and ask for improved clarity, plus some lighting, then boom! I was back in bed again. My heart was beating hard and I was breathing heavy. I was perfectly calm in the OBE, but my body half was freaking out for some reason. I need to figure out how to keep this from happening. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

10/4/14

Last night bed around 9 coz soming down with something.

Woken up at 3am, spent 30 min on comp, then bed. Woke up at 5:30 from LDs.

Not sure how I got lucid, if WILD or DILD, but proly DILD. Next thing I know, I'm walking down the street, happy as can be and singing and old song, one of my favorites. I realize I can sing nice and loud so I start really singing from top of my lungs. It feels GREAT. I have the lyrics right and I carry a tune.

The dream fades, I see my hands and I realize I'm still dreaming, because a thought crosses my mind that I always am. No transition.

I'm ourside, between 2 buildings. I want to fly up, but there are boards like a scaffolding. I'm pushing them aside and telling myself its easy.

I'm on the street again I think and I manage half of the same song, again happy as fuq, before dream fades.

Not sure if still lucid here or not, proly kinda aware but not lucid. So I go look for OpheliaBlue which I know she is in that corridor. I find her and I'm all excited telling her that I just had a DILD and a DEILD.

Woke up ecstatic.

Why can I sing in dreams but not IWL?

#385 - DEILD - 4:21AM (1 of 2)

A couple shots of vodka just before bed for a little REM suppressant. I went to bed around 10:30PM and awoke naturally at 2:00AM from a super vivid dream. It was a little early for my WBTB but I went ahead and got up for about 45min with 8mg Galantamine and 400mg Choline. I downed the pills with a glass of home-brew Kombucha, then got got on Facebook for awhile.

I having failed a WILD, found myself waking from this dream:

I am about to go to sleep on the asphalt in a parking lot. I have my pillow and a huge comfy comforter. My wife is next to me already passed out. I have been talking to a work buddy on Facebook and decide to make a final comment then lay down. When I put my phone down I see him and his mom some feet away in their own pallets. His mom keeps making snide comments and says something about my top hat. I look over and see one next to me. It looks a lot like the one in "Frosty The Snowman". I tell her its just a top hat and not to worry about it. I lay down and flip them the bird with my eyes closed and smile. Then I get really hot and notice that I have a long black overcoat on. I take it off to reveal a while dress shirt. It takes effort but I mange to strip down enough to feel comfortable and go to sleep.

I wake partially and go into DEILD. I feel vibrations right away and let my self lucidly slip under. I feel real excitement with a racing heart and it takes a moment to calm down. Then I blindly make my way out the front door. As I feel the cool air hit me, I hear a loud sucking noise and am pulled back into my body. I am not sure if it is my physical body or dream body but I gasp for air as if I have been holding for a long time.

I wait a few seconds in the vibes and then get up again. This time I see misty swirling visuals as a dream forms in front of me. This gives a really cool effect as a copy of myself forms before me. Its a little odd but the dream is still really unstable so I grab my doubles arm and talk to him. This quickly fades as I am sucked back once again.

I realize its always my habit to rush this transitional stage so I decide to relax and just be mindfully in the moment. I enjoy multiple body sensations like weightlessness and vertigo. I begin to sing some old song. I am not sure of the name or even if the lyrics are right. "I-I-I-I-I... Get that feeling." (What's that song?) I have that moment where I wonder if I am singing out loud and I swear I think I feel my wife turn a bit in bed. I decide not to be put off by it and sing the line again though, it is noticeably softer.

Next, I use the feeling of weightlessness and start imagining flying. The feeling is real and I think I have a moment where I open my eyes and see a huge puffy cloud above my bed. After I awhile I feel like I am falling and blindly pull a parachute cord. There is a noticeable jerk as the air fills the chute and I glide softly down. I get a visual of ground below me then I land in a version of my bathroom. I immediately recall my lucid dare to find a story in the dream. I decided beforehand to either call someone to ask and listen, or find a TV and watch. I decide to look for my phone.

The bathroom is full of all kinds of junk like a tornado had hit my house. There were clothes and debris everywhere as well as all sort of cosmetic and toiletry items around the sink. As I search around it, I say out loud, "Where is my cell phone?" I have a thought to blind summon but for some reason it feels silly since I 'just woke up'. I see something under an empty Q-tip container; It's my phone, but when I reach for it I push it off into the floor. When I bend over, I feel air on my asshole like I like I am completely naked. Shocked, this causes me to pause and look in the mirror. I see a blurry and vibrating reflection in the mirror. As far as I can tell I am shirtless and probably naked with worried look on my face. The effect of the reflection feels unstable so I look away back on task. It's probably best not to worry about this anyway.

The phone screen is super dim, but I blindly tap random spots on the screen anyway, knowing it really doesn't matter. Its the object in my hand that is extending this form or dream control and giving me a mental boost. I put the phone to my ear expectantly and hear a ring then an answer. I try talking to the man the other end but it just sounds like I have tapped into someone's phone conversation. The dream blacks out here and I worry that I am going to have to start over. Luckily, the sensation of the phone to my ear is still very vivid so I just continue on in the darkness. I try to interrupt but they don't seem to hear me and I can't tell what they are saying. I stay persistent and finally get through to a very redneck sounding man. When, I finally understand the man, I find myself in some sort of auto mechanic shop full of colorful hydraulic lifts and tools. I walk around messing with items and flying around the shop as I talk on the phone.

Me: Hello?
Man: Who is this? Hello?
Me: Yes. It's me. Will you please tell me a story?
Man: Huh? Hello?
Me: I just really want you to tell me a short story. Please?
Man: Well OK...
Me: Yeah, go ahead.
Man: When I worked at the mill down by your place with the number one wire...
Me: Yes, go ahead.
Man: ...there was a sawed-off coffee maroon.
Me: Ok wait. (I am trying to make sense of this as well as remember) You worked at the mill down by my place with number one wire and there was a sawed-off....coffee...ma-ROON?
Man: Yes. That's right.
Me: Then what?
Man: George was like, 'What the fuck?'
I can take it any more I begin to laugh out loud at this. I notice my laugh sounds really different and I cut it off short.
Me: Dude that's really hilarious. You didn't ask George what his deal was?
Man: Yeah! That's what I did!

I was going to probe on but I suddenly wake up.

Wake up around 2-ish, decide to induce. I practice MILD, then follow it up with SSILD. I suddenly "come back to myself," as though I had been in deep thought. Am I dreaming? I nose pinch and can breathe easily. Lucid. I get up off of the floor and fly up to the ceiling. I pass right through and into darkness. I fly through darkness for a bit, before imagining that things are brightening up around me--things do begin to brighten up. I realize I am flying over snow. I see the snow and think it would be fun to transform into an arctic fox (in dream remember sivason talking about this in his DJ). I touch down on the snow and begin running on all fours. I then attempt my transformation. I do feel some sensation in my body, and think it might be working, so I life a hand up out of the snow to check. Nope, still a hand! I wake up.

I sit like this for some time, and finally settle for lying supine. I notice the clock reads 3:00, which isn't as early as I thought. I feel some relief. I notice, however, that this guy wants to come into the upstairs bedroom with me:



No thanks. I manage to shut the door on him, though he does try to open the knob. I lock it, then examine the wooden door. It is flimsy wood, but I feel confident he can not get through. It then occurs to me that I might be dreaming. I nose pinch. Lucid. I open the same door (the xenomorph is gone) and I try flying down into the kitchen; however, I just fall. Some DCs are here but I ignore them, and head towards the front door. The house has become my house growing up. I think about phasing through a window, but then decide not to. I think decide to phase through the front door. I am having difficulties so I just open it and go out. I continue to try to fly, with minimal to no success. A dog runs up to me and I befriend him. I try to remember the TotMs but cannot. I wake up, and DEILD, but can't remember the dream later.

I wake up and DEILD again, into a blackness. I wait for the dream to appear. Suddenly, a cartoon bobble-head pops into existence, along with an interactive computer screen. I click a button with my finger, and make a "click-click" sound with my mouth before realizing that sounds stupid. The screen adjusts to show characters talking with each other. I try to focus on the action. Some bobble-headed kids hanging out by a trash can (?) or maybe in a kitchen, discussing something. I realize, however, that I would like to be in the cartoon, so begin stretching the screen with my finger. I manage to make the screen surround me almost entirely, but am still not able to merge with the cartoon. I then notice there are viewing options. An interactive porno would be just the thing, I think, and begin searching through the selections. I find a good one but then I wake up. Try to DEILD again, and seem to have transitioned, but when I check, I am fully awake. I get up and start the day (yuck).