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Me and this random guy are looking for our estranged fathers. We're in some retreat kind of place for people who are looking for lost family members. In our research we discover that we actually have the same father and are in fact brother and sister. We plan to track down our father together and tell him who we are.

We do find a man whom we know to be the one we've been searching for, we succeed in getting him to come to the retreat often, and we get to know him well. He looks a bit ZZ Top-ish, with a long white beards and glasses that always hide his eyes. I get the impression he's a trucker or something, and his accent is American, which is odd to me.

My brother is supposed to be around a lot more than he is, but he's gotten involved with some sort of television reality show like Pop Idol or something. Because of this, he is always busy and never around to help me with the plan anymore. I decide that I am tired of waiting around for my brother, I will tell our father who we are on my own. I decide to construct an art project and give it to the man as a gift, but the twist is that the art will be of an obvious sort that will send the message that the receiver is, in fact, my father. I create the piece and it ends up incredibly random (has a hockey stick in it?!?) but dream logic tells me that he will know what it means.

I present the artwork to my father and his reaction is not at all positive. He is defensive, confused, angry, and yet he does know what it means. I tell him about my brother, his son, as well. It does not go over well.

I do actually have an estranged father, but he is actually British and not American. Interesting what my subconscious came up with as my father figure. ZZ Top? Lol!

This weekend I went to visit a friend in Ohio and last night I had this dream:

I was in my friend's apartment, in Ohio, looking out the window. I saw the person I drove down here standing by her car having a cigarette. I thought this was odd because I didn't think she was a smoker. I went down the stairs and outside to talk to her and she threw away the cigarette quickly and acted nonchalant, like she was afraid of being caught. I went along with it and said nothing.

We went shopping and I remember looking at some watches and admiring them. I didn't have any money so I didn't buy anything. I followed my friend around and watched her shop and she bought many things. When we left the store and returned to the car my friend was telling me all about the great stuff she bought and I remember feeling a little jealous.

When we returned to the apartment she handed me a silver and gold metal wristwatch and asked me if I liked it. It was really big and shiny and I said that I did like it. She then said "Good. Because it's for you."

I was really happy that my friend gave me a nice watch but I do not have any recollection of the rest of the dream.

non dream - lucid - non lucid

My dreams start getting more vivid again, even though I'm still quite stressed and I don't have enough time to sleep properly.
I didn't believe that my dream recall would improve before I have more free time, but I am very happy that it seems to do so.


I am walking through the city. I become lucid for no apparent reason, I just know that I am dreaming.
For some reason I feel the urge to use some form of dream control.
I look up into the sky, there isn't a single cloud. It is a very nice day.

I point my right hand at the sky and command it to rain with my mind.
It starts raining, even though there are no clouds.
The DC's around me realize what I have done and become pissed.
I don't really care about them and just start dancing in the rain whilst creating background music for the dream.

I am quite impressed how easily I can control the dream, it is so stable.
Some DC's approach me with an angry look on their faces.
What do they want?

"Go away."

All DC's around me cease to exist. This is an intriguingly good feeling.
I should probably do something more productive though, even though this is a lot of fun.

"Excuse me."

What the hell?
I turn around. There is a women standing in the rain. Didn't I just remove all DC's?

"Hello friend, what brings you into my dreams?"

(I have no idea why I feel the urge to talk like this, but it is not the first time this has happened.)

"I'm sorry, I do not mean to intrude."
"It's quite alright."
"I need your help."

I look at her closely. I'd guess that she's in her late 20's, maybe early 30's.
She has natural curly red hair and very dark eyes.
I approach her with confidence.

"What is it you need help with?"
"There is darkness within me, darkness which I cannot face alone."
"I need help Hyu, I need help facing this darkness."
"Do we know each other?"
"You do not know me, but I have read many things about you."

I feel the sudden urge for an adventure.

"Lead the way, friend."

She opens a portal, using the hand flicking trick I have used before.
I find it somewhat impressive, then again, why would she not know?
I form an energy shield around myself and follow her through the portal.
Somehow I just understood that using a shield can prevent some of the portal trouble I have encountered before.


We are in a very big room. It looks absolutely amazing.
The architecture is absolutely blowing my mind, everything is so detailed.
It is a blend of old japenese, victorian but also futuristic design.
The neon-stripe lighting and the heavy usage of glass gives it a bit of a Tron-look but for some reason it blends very well with the older elements.
The windows are very colorful, like in Christian churches, except the drawings are clearly not religious.

I realize I'm getting distracted. I follow this women over a marble path.
There are doors to the left and right of the path, but they don't lead anywhere.
There are no walls or anything, just doors.
I get the impression that I am in the dreams of this women and that she created all of this.

"This is highly impressive!"
"Do you like it?"
"Absolutely. Have you created all of this?"
"I have indeed. I'm an architect, I have let my inspiration run wild for a few weeks, and this is what I ended up creating."
"Wow, this is really impressive, so you can create persistent scenes?"
"Yes. If I want to keep a scene I save it behind one of these doors."
"Wow... I'm speechless."

She seems to be very experienced with dreaming.
She laughs.

"Says the guy who can step through the fabric of space."
"I'm an architect, this is what I do, it's not really that hard for me."
"I see..."

The marble path ends before another door, but this one is very different.
All other doors were white stone with beautiful carvings, this one is pitch black.
There are many Japanese seals attached to the door.
I've seen them in manga before.
Some of them look very recent, others slightly older. All the older ones are destroyed.

"This is where I have sealed my nightmares... the darkness."

She sealed them away? I didn't know anything like that was possible.

"I can no longer contain them, I need to face them and destroy them."
"I have no doubt that I will manage to destroy them, but I am too afraid to face them alone."

I was wondering how I could possibly be of help to someone who can do all of this.
But I suppose this makes sense.
I power up and draw a protective energy bubble around us using my phoenix wings.

"Let's do it."

With a wave of her hand all the seals disappear and the door opens.
There is nothing visible inside, it's just darkness.
But even though I cannot see it, I can feel it, VERY clearly.
Fear emits from this room, just pure fear.
The women starts shaking.
I grab her hand.

"You can do this."
"Yes... SHOW YOURSELF!"

The yelling was unexpected.
A ball of pure darkness comes out of the room and hovers in front of us.
She grabs my hand strongly and I reinforce the protective bubble even further.

"BEGONE DARKNESS. I HEREBY CAST YOU AWAY FOR ALL ETERNITY!"

Her voice is very powerful, I can feel it resonating in my body.
She then speaks some sort of incantation in Japanese which I cannot understand.
The darkness catches on purple fire and disintegrates before my eyes.
As the last bit of it disappears, the Door that was housing it turns into ashes.
How impressive!

The women drops to her knees.

"Are you alright?"
"Yes, now that the darkness is gone, I truly am."
"Thank you for you support young dreamer."
"You're welcome."

She summons a small engraved stick of wood and hands it over to me.
It is immensely detailed and very beautiful.

"A gift for your troubles."
"Thank you!"
"I am very sorry, but you must leave now."
"Oh?"
"I don't usually let others into my dreams, please understand."
"Of course."

To be honest, I don't, but it would be disrespectful to say otherwise.
If these are truly her dreams than she deserves privacy whenever she so desires.
I draw my phoenix wings and prepare to teleport to Teraluna.
I feel that I am no longer welcome in this world, I will not be able to visit it again once I teleport away.

"Goodbye friend."

I step through the fabric of space and the dream ends.

I am in some sort of camp cabin type house, on some endowment kind of lands. I get the feeling it’s a college or university, and it’s definitely in Canada. There are a lot of trees. It’s night time, and with me are a gathering of about 4 other people. We’re discussing religion, a certain type of Wicca/Pagan belief that involves a deity that appears masked and shrouded in many layers of draped cloth. She is said to come to certain devotees late in the night. After discussing this for a little while, we move on to talking about prophets. As the others are talking about some random prophet, “THE Prophet” comes to me. The others don’t seem to notice, they kind of fade into the scene, still there, but not as noticeable. The Prophet is a man, dressed in draped cloth, smiling down at me in an absolutely radiant way. The feeling that he exudes is pure love and joy. He reaches out and takes my hands, holds them gently, Even though there is a sense that he has no hands. He tells me how happy he is to have me join them. This moment seems to stretch out for a time, then it fades and the scene with the others comes back into focus. I tell them about my experience and they are all in awe. The meeting ends and we all leave. I hope that someone will walk home with me, as it’s dark and I don’t feel safe, but they all scatter in different directions before I can ask anyone.

Flash forward a bit into the future to a completely different climate, one that is warm and somewhat tropical in feeling. There are huts scattered around the landscape. They look like a futuristic version of a teepee. Someone has left the daily food ration outside the hut in a special hammock kind of thing. I go to collect it. They are gourds, and I am familiar enough with them to know that they are spiced and very tasty. I notice a woman slips by the hammock and steals some of the gourds, then hurries away. This upsets me, but I know there is nothing I can do about it, so I take the rest into the hut.

There are seating places on the floor of the hut where the residents can sit around in a circle facing each other. In my place there is a gift box, very organic looking. I pick it up and unwrap it very carefully, taking my time and enjoying the process. I can’t remember all of the items that were in there, but there was a roll of cloth with detailed instructions on how and why to wear it. It said something like “Drape this cloth over your body to cover as much flesh as you can, as your body is precious, and should be protected”. There were also a few ornate ear rings and some semi precious stones.

We’re eating the spiced gourds now, and suddenly we’re interrupted by a visit from the prophet and his “Speaker”. The Speaker is draped in so many layers (including all around the face) that it’s very difficult to tell if it’s a male or a female. S/he begins to speak and I look at her/him as s/he does. I am scolded and told to look either at the Prophet, or at the ground. We are instructed in quite a few things which I don’t remember, but I do remember something to the effect of being told we should not eat meat for some critical reason. We are allowed to eat grains (such as rice) and vegetables like the gourds we are eating now.
I realize that all the others in the hut with me are also new to this way of life, and the dream ends.

14.02.2011

Night drive, day scape. (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I wad driving in the freeway. My wife was next to me and we were talking about some psychic exercises I was doing. My wife recalled some psychic attack I did to someone in waking several months ago. My wife told me, "I love your dark energy." I do not know where the heck this comes from... I am a good guy and a spirit of light! I guess my darker ego showed up in the dream. I found funny what my wife told me.

It was very hard for me to drive. I could not drive straight in my lane and I would change lanes without wanting to. I also could not keep a constant speed while driving. My vision was very blurry and I felt extremely tired. We arrived to some sort of mall and I saw everything super blurry. I felt it was not normal for me to be so tired, having a big time driving and such a low vision. I checked my hands. My index finger was very thin and long. I knew I was dreaming, but I needed more proof. I asked my wife to please check her hand. She also had six fingers. I decided to take a flight to make my dream stable, however, my lucidity was not great. I followed the plot of the dream and lost lucidity.

We entered the mall and my wife was mad at me for some present I gave her or something I do not recall well. She suddenly told me, "Yeah right, go get one of those 75% discount sunglasses like you always do." Funny, I have never bought my wife sunglasses in waking, I wonder why I dreamed that. I told her I was not going to buy any sunglasses this time.

I wanted to leave the mall, however, it had no windows, no doors and the roof was made out of steel. All I wanted to do was to leave. I saw some sort of reception and saw an exit behind reception. I could see the sun coming from the outside. I turned lucid again, it was night a while ago, it was impossible to be day so fast. I walked towards the reception and said, "12th floor, please." The receptionist told me, "There is a private party there and you have no ID." I told her I just wanted to go through the door to be able to exit the mall, I did not plan to take the elevators. She informed me, "We are going to need an attorney to witness you are indeed just exiting the mall." I replied, "Oh, come on... This is a dream, I will wake up eventually!" I had no dream control on this particular dream. I saw some guys approaching the door. They were granted access. I got next to them and ran outside.

A guy asked me how much did I charged for a Tarot reading. I told him I was dreaming in that moment. The guy was surprised. Before I decided to take a flight, I lost imagery of the dream.

I had a FA in my room. I had a ton of e-mails from Amity, however, when I tried to read one, it would not open. I also started to write down the dream in my pillow and read some scripts about meditation when I woke up for real.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING

23:10 – Sleep

Again in India
I’m with my parents on a house looking over a hill and we see a crowd of men outside very agitated. They are manifesting, angry about something. Not at us, but the fact they are so close is a bit worrisome. We fear they might start a riot and starts damaging our home.
We go outside try to understand what’s going on. I understand their situation and agree with their demands. I also shout some words of support and my father tells me to shut up – what am I thinking? I ask if he doesn’t agree and yes, of course, but these guys should do something about it in a peaceful and diplomatic way, not with riots. My parents decide to leave and not stay there anymore, predicting problems.
We then go through an earth road by the side of the river and I see beautiful Indian girls in their Saris and boys flirting them. Then I go through a succession of images from India, buddhist monasteries and so on.

3:30 GMT

Town of Denn
I’m going down a hill and find myself on this earth road by the edge of a large crater (more like a canyon). On my back and on the other side of the crater I see buildings destroyed by rockets and bombs. I then realise there are men hiding behind some broken windows, with guns and realise I’m in a war scenario. I decide to do a RC. I realise I’m dreaming and feel no fear. This time I remember the tasks I have to accomplish (Hooray!) Which one I do first? For some reason I didn’t feel like taking an elevator, so I decide to shrink to the atomic level. I do my best to shrink, but all I manage is to reduce maybe 10 cms. Damn. Continued trying and didn’t reduce size. Not to lose lucidity in vain, I decide to do the RPG task and decide to jump on the crater and use it as a portal for the RPG dream. I close my eyes on the jump and when feel my feet on the ground I open my eyes and I’m there!
At first I found it a bit different from what was supposed. I mean, the sky was bright blue, the houses of the village were all white and there was a general sense was of a happy sunny place. In front of me, downhill, I could see beautiful planes and hay stacks. On my left I saw these streets with white houses aligned downhill. On my back there was the main entrance to the village – through an arch, leading to a higher hill on top of which there was this big white building that at first looked like a church, but it had banners and flags and was for sure a fortress or castle. On my right also downhill there was an alignment of stands covered by tents, of what looked like a medieval fair. This fair stretched to the main entrance of the village with a few open air stands. That’s when I realised: this is the town of Denn, although in my version it looks a lot like the traditional villages from the Alentejo province in the South of Portugal.
Lots of people were moving around, all dressed in medieval clothes and I approached one stand to see what they were selling. I have no idea what it was, but now in retrospective, it might have been arrows – they had boxes full of these pointy metallic spikes with what seemed to be tiny dragon wings on their back tip. Don’t know. Then I saw a mirror on one stand and decided to see myself there. That’s when I realised I had my normal look, wearing an aquamarine dress. No! I had to enter my character, so I looked for a more private place with a mirror to change myself. I entered the main village street, right behind the stands. There was a kind of tunnel on my left, between houses, leading to an inner court and because there was nobody around, I went inside and found a room that by chance was full of “antiques” – I guess in this context, they were useful working instruments - including a large mirror. The light was very dim, but I could see my reflexion quite well so I started changing my look to my warrior me. It all turned out quite well, but for some reason My face also changed and I was now a red haired girl with a long braid and tiny brown eyes. I was cute, but a bit annoyed of not looking more like myself – I wanted black hair and big brown eyes. It took me some time, but I finally got it. Meanwhile I think I lost very precious time. I need to be less obsessed about how I look and just keep going.
At this point a guy comes in and I realise he is the king! And he is totally drunk. I wonder what is a king doing drunk in such a place, that looks like the backrooms of the servants – oh, maybe I actually know...
He starts hitting on me, saying he never saw me before but that I’m hot. I avoid him, moving around the room and he is insisting, trying to catch me. He thinks that my running around is my way to arouse him. I feel tired of this, want to go look for the tavern, when a group of people come inside all worried. They were looking for the king, afraid he was doing something stupid (as he was). As they try to grab him and take him away, I decide to sneak out before they start asking questions.
I go deeper into a hallway I find connecting to other deeper rooms and I think I found some kind of kitchen – everybody is so busy carrying stuff from one place to the other, it’s very hot and there are these servant boys taking a rest in a very dark corner with a few wooden benches.
I sit with them for a while, no one ask me questions as they are either too busy or just plain tired, but then I wake up.

Birthday party
I tried going back to the dream but ended up on a different one although with similarities. I looked in a mirror and I was dressed medieval, but this time with beautiful jewels, like a queen or princess. I was in a country house in the province of Alentejo – it was the house of a friend with whom I’m starting a business. Today is my birthday (it really is) and I am having my party at his home. My mom and a fiend are there, my dad, a guy I almost dated in high-school and Riverstone and Nighthawk are also there.
This guy from high-school brought me a load of presents. I don’t immediately open them and take them to a room. Everybody is gathered in the living room. We are chatting and eating and then my friend future partner is discouraging me from following our initial plans. He says maybe I should do it on my own and not be his partner. I am totally surprised and disappointed because until now he showed no hesitations whatsoever and all the reasons he is giving me are just BS. I try to change his mind but he just asks if I can wait, because he needs to take a shower and we continue later. I say ok and he leaves. I am chatting with someone else when he appears, all naked, in front of all the guests, totally cool about it. My mom and her friend turn away their faces, laughing embarassed. He was on his way to the shower but he forgot something and found totally natural to go butt naked to get it.
Then I decide to get my gifts from the other room and Riverstone follows me. He is already drunk and going through a jealous phase – he grabs one of the gift package and starts guessing what’s inside, starts tearing away the package and I get upset and tell him to drop it – it’s my gifts, I open it and if he has any problems that some guy is covering me in gifts it’s because he is a child. I take the gifts to the living room and start opening them. I notice that Nighthawk is also mildly embarrassed that he is not the one giving me the best or the most presents and I think “God, so frivolous! This is not a competition.”
I don’t remember what were the gifts but then we all got drunk or drugged or just sleepy, because I woke up later on in the bedroom, and everybody was sleeping on the floor. I woke up people and they left. I stayed only with the guys. No monkey business, we just staid sharing whatever trip we were experiencing. My sweater was totally sweat and I went to the toilet to change it when I saw myself in the mirror and noticed that my make up was also all messed up, so the trip must have been good.

5:40 GMT - wake up