All DJ Entries

2nd October 2020

Scraps:

(Forgot most of the dreams but remember having a few long ones. Morning routine didn't really allow for making early notes.)

Some bit where I was in a stairwell of some kind. It was a modern-looking place but the steps themselves were like that part in the Hobbit film (which I watched recently) where Gandalf is investigating the ancient tombs. I remember using the strange spirally square stairwell but feeling wary about falling since there were no railings or anything. Someone else was there with me? It was a brightly lit stairwell and I think the steps themselves were a bright red or red-orange colour.

Some part in space, vague memory of being similar to Freelancer, and a nebulae background. Something about T and some interactions between us? Discussing a game maybe?

bed-time: late, about midnight.
watched video, ate muffin
no alcohol

earlier (4 hrs)

Initially no recall, but reached for recall, associated, and these eventually came through:

+ sitting at cafe table (s) (tall, [round?] seated on stools) with people, new people come, I suggest ordering (tuna?), the table is cluttered with bottles & dishes, I want to drink, there are many partially-finished beer bottles. I do not want to drink from the partially-finished bottles. The bottles are classical transparent dark brown, I see the level of liquid in them. I find one which looks to be full, and I pop the top off with my finger/thumb (it's not hard, like it was already opened).

+ dark place narrow doorways, light switches, touch person (bandid?) hair, fear (Mex?). I feel for the light swtich just inside the narrow and slightly elevated (bottom higher than ground) door, find them, flip them (one works, one doesn't in the next entry way?) Feeling for the light switch in the 3rd(?) entry, my hand strays to below and beyond the hanging-open door which is to my right, and I touch a person's body/hair, it is soft/warm/living, and I'm frightened, I think this may be a bad person or part of a gang of criminals

+ outside, daytime, slightly curving small street, buses come, people come suddently streaming moving from right/uphill to left/downhill , there is some big event, I want to attend, I want to get on bus, I want preferred / privelege location, carrying something, think of carrying it with me, I may be carrying it for a long time in my arms, think about getting a bag then it would be more convenient to carry it, visualize myself walking with the bag containing the [unknown] item

long BTS 4am - 7am+

start doing total "release" - "I give up" and fell myself falling deeper, hold especially my face and eyes totally relaxed, eyes unfocused, hold body totally still, everything still and continually release tension over and over and over, face, eyes, tongue, body, and mind, release all thoughts, no visualization at all (no "river running by my head and my thoughts are draining out", no "breath in energy breath out tension"), just continual total release of everything. It took maybe 10-15 minutes (felt closer to 10) of conscious release effort to the point beyond consciousness.

earlier:

+ I find myself in my CH kitchen, visuals are hazy a bit, it is lit but dark like it is night time, I feel immediately strange, light headed/weak, body feels light, I think this is because I am ill or having a stroke or some sort of sudden health issue, I sink down into a crouch to prevent a fall from fainting, and I'm holding on (with both arms?) to the sink counter for stability, [dream ends, I wake up?]

final waking:

+ with g/f L inside, we are discussing meeting the monster which lives in our closet, right now. I'm quite nervous about this.

+ [DO] Playing CDC Plato empire. Flying around Kaz? There are Romulan and Orion ships. I fire torpedoes, I see that the enemy detonates them. One (orion or federation) ship flies close by, so I engage phasers which are effective at short range. They don't seem to activate, I'm reaching for the "f" key on the keyboard? I start to see some milky white substance heading towards the enemy ship?

I'm in city and talk with dad about a two-wheeled vehicle that he holds. I take the vehicle and drive out of city. The vehicle I drive has two pedals like a bike. I look at the fuel gauge and find that it is being refueled when I use the pedals to bike. When the gauge is full I use the fuel to go really fast. I look on the speed metre and find that I am driving in 74 km/h (46 miles per hour). I think about the dangers of riding this fast, unprotected in a small vehicle. I see a new road to the left that is going into the woods that I ride into. There is a car that almost crashes in to me when I turn in there. There is an old man that I talk with about something. I ride out to the big road again and use up all my fuel when a curve comes. I go so fast that the friction is not enough to hold me in the curve. I manage to still be on the vehicle but it's going into a big wheat field and the vehicle is gliding on the side. It stops just before a big tree and I am safe. I walk with the bike to the road again and try to drive. All the fuel is out so I try to bike it in order to refill the fuel. It's almost impossible to ride the bike and the gauge is not going up. I'm feeling hopeless.

Notes: I though about biking in order to get some daily exercise yesterday. Dad and I was in a shop where they sold different kinds of two-wheeled vehicles a week ago. The road that I was riding when the speed metre was showing 74 km/h has a speed limit of 60 km/h IRL. In physics we talk about friction and centripetal force. There was a question about what speed you could have in a curve without falling of like I did in the dream. The wheat field represents hard work as I finished reading "The Richest Man In Babylon" yesterday. I though about how a man can make money by buying and selling things but that only real value can be created by manpower. If I work and create value I can feel confident and proud over myself.

I'm by Sturkö. My brother and my cousin Sebastian M are also there. We go onto a wooden fleet and we want to make a boat out of it. We get a mini motor that is really fast. We put it one the end of the fleet and we are able to go pretty fast. We have another motor that we use to change the direction.

Notes: I sometimes have dreams about going out into the waters with some people. I dreamt about Tobbe yesterday wich made me dream about Sebbe today.

I'm in Sturkö and flying around. I try to reach the atmosphere as I have done once before. I'm not fully lucid because I haven't thought about what my dream goals are. I fly by the water and I see the water under me split a little when I fly over it. I am amazed by the quality of the dream, the beauty of the water and want it to last forever. I feel the wind over my skin as I increase my speed. I live in the moment and fly in all different positions. On my back, on my stomach with my hands in front of me, on my stomach with my hands along my body, on my stomach and doing swimming motions with my hands. I see my family by a table in front of The Green House and go to them. I know that we are going to eat food but I don't see any. I sit on the wooden bench. The dream disappears and I wake up.

Notes: These are the dreams I yearn for. The feeling of being free and so flexible in your flying. You can go anywhere. Now when I think about it it may have been a FA.

1st October 2020

Dream:

In the van with H. For some reason, some part stopped transmitting power (to or from the engine). The drive shaft? Not sure, but it was still rolling and the engine itself was still going. But the van was only rolling (uphill, somehow) and couldn't accelerate, the throttle did nothing. We were rolling at about 40 in the middle of a town. H put on some hazard lights and other things and steered gently into a side bit stopped the van.

Then something about a vest he had to put on and I was attaching some untinged leather straps to velcro bits? Two other people were here and we were talking to them. They were the ones that told H to put the vest on?

One of these people was an artist and I don't remember what was said exactly, but I turned around at some point and now faced an alcove-type bit and all my paintings were there. I remember mentioning that there really weren't that many (I felt) but this small room still looked cluttered by them.

Dream:

Not sure how it started but some random character was the centre of it all now and there was this "ending of the world" thing going on. Some brightly coloured spheres went up in the air and then different things started happening but I forgot the details. I do remember some people and all their stuff, inside their houses, would get sucked/warped through reality into some kind of dimensional containers. I remember having a feel as if I could control some of what was going on, through a console? But otherwise I was not directly present or involved.

Then some other part after it's all over. There's two anthropomorphic mice and they are wearing motorcycle-gang type leather outfits. They are talking to each other and one of them has a coin about half his size. It's supposedly a 30 cent coin from the USA but he mentions it would be worth several hundred now after everything that had happened. The coin was shiny. There was a filmic or cartoony characteristic to this scene, but I think it otherwise looked realistic.

At some other bit in the middle of a ruined city. I feel more present in this section. I think something about how things didn't need to have turned out like this. I think to myself that if people had been more sensible, even with what was happening, there would be more to return to, or something to this effect. Neo or someone like him is here. He has a mobile phone and there are other people and there's now some kind of stigma (that I intuitively know about in the dream) about using this "old" technology and I remember a travelling section of the dream through or over the ruined city where nobody has guns or advanced technology but are all using improvised clubs.

But this Neo character talks to someone using this mobile phone and the nearby characters get angry at him. He tries to be quick about it and tries to lose their attention? But the dream ends shortly after this I think.

---

Notes:

- I think the two mice were probably a reference to Biker Mice from Mars, a show which I did watch a bit of but not a lot, my siblings had watched more of it, I think. But I haven't really thought about it in years.
- My previous entry also featured motorcycles.
- It's possible that it's just imaginative leaking from daily life, as a few times we've been going past signs that mention motorcycle accidents.
- The transmission/power issue with the van was probably related to a discussion I had this week with H in the van, in waking life.
- The second dream was particularly long, but I lost many details on waking, in part because of motivation issues though.

30th September 2020

Dream:

With my family, visiting some fancy historical complex in America. It's on an overlook type area, atop a generally hilly area. Don't remember the surroundings much.

Mom, dad and T are the family I'm with. I remember we walked into a room with a long curved glass separating the room from a display area. There are highlights from the top and behind the glass is a natural-looking and rocky display, but the main feature is a plaque attached to a rock? We sit down on some of those museum-type sofas and there's a female voice talking about this plaque and/or the display.

Outside, going away from the compound area.

(recall gap)

Then something about a motorcycle gang? And two of its members are causing havoc along a road, in some way that I don't recall. I'm a policeman and have a motorcycle of some kind myself, chasing them through roads and rice fields, where people are working.

(recall gap)

Then in a shower. It's in some old place's bathroom. The shower is a walk-in type, with no frame at all, being only a white plinth. It's centred against a wall of this bathroom, which is quite large. I remember old and darkly stained wood, either in the bathroom or outside of it. Cerulean-blue tiles?

While I'm in this shower, bits of crap start coming off the back of where a silicon seal should be. Some bugs and a small horned beetle crawl out. (The word kabuto comes into mind as I write this out)

Then I get out and someone else is around. Not sure who, but they find a small clam shell of sorts and put it in front of this beetle. It gets in the shell and wears it like armour or something, the other person remarking on this fact. Then nearby is a crab and this other person disturbs it and it crawls away? But the crab is also in a strange sea shell of some kind.

(recall gap)

Vague recall of roaming some mezzanine area and old halls of the place with the bathroom. A bedroom too?

---

Notes:

- Shortly after writing out this dream and getting some things ready for the day, I found a beetle on the hoodie that I was going to wear.
- The whole dream was continuous but the threshold/transition moments seem to have mostly been lost on waking.

I drink extra water in order to wake up in the night. I wake up 03:37 and write down this dream.

I'm bouncing at the Sturkö trampoline with another person. Suddenly all this fertiliser poop is dropped next to me on the trampoline. Me and the other person quickly go out of the trampoline. My sister is there and I ask her if it was her doing. She is serious and says that she needed to do it for something important. I walk in The Green House and see Tobbe M there. He talks about football. Gradually Tobbe transforms into Klaus and he starts to scream loud. He screams about football and how the judges are bribed in a crazy manner.

Notes: Klaus screamed in a very scary way.

When I went to bed again and tried to WILD I got some real pain in my left foot. I moved my foot and felt if something hit my foot but nothing had happened.

I'm by a gas station and there are some aliens shooting at us. I shoot back but get captured. I am being transported to some kind of house that is slimy. I am half lucid because I try to actively wake myself up here. I am being led to a passageway and I meet a dead end. There are some holes in the wall to the right with some kind of thick liquid running through them vertically. An alien in the front that also is a prisoner is crawling into a hole and disappears. I take my hand in to the hole to feel if there is air on the other side of the liquid. I feel a wall and I assume that the alien was able to teleport. I do the same thing with the second hole and find that there is also a wall stopping me from entering there. The third hole doesn't have a wall and I am able to crawl through even tough it is very uncomfortable, especially since it is a very claustrophobic passage. When I am through I find myself in a doom shaped room. There is a bench that I go to and sit. An alien that is humanoid enters, I think that she is about my age and attractive. She comes to me and we start to kiss. She sits on my left leg. I don't know how long time we interact but I am suddenly with other humans that I know. I talk to Diego and he is mad at me because I kissed the girl. He seems to be interested in her by the way that he is talking about her. I tell him that it was only a dream and that it's okey. '

Notes: I talked about it being a dream in the dream but never got fully lucid and got hold of my IRL memories.

Always when I have a love interest non lucid dream I wake up with energy and happiness.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


Staying at school for several days without going home. But then a storm is coming and I decide to get on the 1st transportation home not to get stuck even more days. My animals are home alone and I am not sure they have sufficient food or water of it the storm won't cause damage in my home. On the way, I go buy some more food and water for everybody and somehow end up debating with some lady with a baby, who has a bigger load of work of the two of us: her with the baby or me with all my pets. We agree to disagree.

Riverstone's brother calls me, insists I have to come to his place and taste something he is brewing in the pantry. I say better not but I do taste some sort of nachos on a sauce that he prepared. He insists I taste the other thing so I go look for it at the pantry. From a window I see a couple dudes touching an unresponsive cat at a café entrance. They seem to want to pick him up but does not seem like they have something good in their mind. So I go there and push them aside and pet the cat. He reacts and slowly gets up. The guys get pissed at me for interfering and I get defensive and literally fight the smaller one. They back off a bit but come back again. All of a sudden I start feeling weird, reality perception altered and I think they drugged me somehow. I look at them and they become whiter and whiter, like beings made of porcelain with perfect white bodies, no hair and no clothes. I am apparently going through a similar transformation. They drag me to my home. The feeling is very harmonious and loving and everything looks beautiful, but I haven't forgot who they are and what the situation was before so I become defensive when they both grab me and I realize they want to rape me and drugged me so I let my barriers down. I struggle and I become wrathful. I growl and spit fire and climb walls to get out of their range. They admit they expected me to cooperate and that now they will have to be rough with me. But I grow bigger and stronger and I resist and lock myself in the kitchen. They talk to me through the door trying to reason me out. Once the drug effect is gone we actually have a conversation and they seem to become aware of their actions and apologize and say they want us to become friends. I explain we ain't friends. They say they have time.

Diogo Faro (a comedian) is in my house. We're both in bath robes like we're very intimate, but actually we're still strangers to each other and I am trying to break the ice while I cook something in the kitchen. We talk and we become friends. He invites me to come to his next shows 5 days in a row. I ask if I can go to only one or if are they all different. He says they're different. I complain it's probably too costly for me but I'll try to go to at least one. Then he asks what other comedians I like and I say I love Jon Stewart but no way he is coming to our country and I hope someday to see a show with Jon Oliver. Then a friend of his comes to pick up Diogo. While they talk I notice one of my windows is not well fit in the framework and I try to fix it. I explain to them I already had a problem with a window falling to the ground floor once and that luckily nobody was hit by it. Then his stupid friend knocks the window down just for fun. It falls down several floors. We hear screams at the ground floor and I think the worst just happened. I kick the guy out from my home and Diogo is a gentleman and takes my side and tells his friend what an asshole he is. He stays in my apartment as I go downstairs to check it out, not without first grabbing the other guy by the neck and tell him he needs to pay damages and take responsibility for injuries on likely victims. But he scrambles. I reach the street level and there is a beach party going on at the entrance of the building, which is an apartment tower by the sea. I look for any sign of someone hurt and nobody is complaining, all looks normal. I check cars in the park and none seems broken. There is an abandoned dog in the park which breaks my heart but some ladies seem to take an interest and do not leave his side, so I believe they'll help him. I move on and go a bit more to the side where there is a garden and apparently the window fell there. No person was harmed but little elves live on that garden and one of them got scared when the window fell near him and he accidentally cast a spell on a lady nearby. He gave her the body of a fat beaver but kept her human head. Everybody freaks out when they see her.

I am with Riverstone at DMV or something, dealing with some documentation. He goes somewhere else while I wait in line, so we don't waste so much time, but he takes my backpack to put in a locker nearby. Unfortunately I leave my phone inside. Then I meet 3 girls who seem to want to bond with me, they want to exchange contacts and I don't have my phone. I tell them to wait that I'll get it but they leave anyway and for a second I feel sad like "I thought we had connected". Anyway, I start looking for those lockers and realize I am in a gigantic hub of services and transportation, an endless maze of corridors with access to trains and subways, with counters of different services along the way. I become mesmerized by an ecosystem of tiny crustaceans that seem to inhabit some old carpet under a counter of some public service and I lay on the ground just admiring how they attract flies on silky sticky strings and then eat them and communicate with one another through the strings. But I need to move on and I go randomly in the direction I think is the correct one. I reach some escalators. There is a normal one to the right, one coming down on the left and one in the center with strange smaller steps and colors. I take that one. On reaching the top there is a guy that looks out of Street Fight and a cage where I am supposed to get in as he yells that I have taken the challenge and now I must compete. I am scared about what kind of competition it is. If I'll be dropped in an arena to fight. So I skip it and jump to a sidewalk exiting the place. Then I see the competition was a life size Mario Kart race and I regret so much having skipped it. I then chose to explore what other games are there and step into an interior amusement park. Each room is home to a game or arcade and there are kids and adults playing. I spot a friend going into a room so I follow her but then lose sight of her. I see another entrance to a darker room, seems like a movie theater, but people sit relaxed in groups around tables and they are eating. There is popcorn and candies everywhere and apparently one can eat all it wants. I grab popcorns to the left and right, there are levels and levels of shelves with displays full of sweets. It's truly the dream for any kid or glutton. Then I spot some employee looking at me and making me signs to leave and I realize I had to pay an extra ticket to be there and be able to eat. I just leave with some kind of sweet on a stick. I hear beautiful music inside a room that looks like the palace of Versailles and I dance happily until I hear some voice saying "take that girl outta there". I notice I am behind an orchestra playing to a select audience and I get out from there discreetly. Then I am busted by some Arabs who apparently are with my dad on some lunch meeting. He had spotted me and they felt compelled to meet me. They make fun of my previous fail and invite me to join them just to upset my dad. They ask me what's that I have on a stick and I say some kind of marshmallow, not sure. But they turn it around and becomes evident that it is a pigs head on the stick. I am horrified and they are disgusted. They take it away from my hands.

At my farm and a bunch of family members is there. My grandpa is there and my mom and my aunt are taking care of him. My dad, my cousin Sara and maybe her brother are also there. An ambulance is coming with the sirens on and we all think it can only be a mistake because everybody is ok. But they still park the ambulance and the nurses come out in the direction of the gate.