false awakening

Date: 24 Jan

Pre bed: 200mg val, 50mg B6

Wbtb: 1/4 latte

Wasn't very wakeful even though repeated mantras a few times, fell asleep rather fast, had a few non-lds I can't recall

DILD: I am having a tense conversation with this female DC I know. She starts criticizing me. I reply that as a revenge I will then do something to make her feel the same way she makes me feel with all her comments. While this is a rather habitual mental reaction, I notice that contrary to other times I don't feel anything at that very moment. Still, as part of my revenge scheme I take her and turn her upside down in front of all the DCs in the room to publicly humiliate her.

As I stare at her, I notice that she just stays there, like a motionless puppet and become lucid. We're in a very large meeting room with a long table in the middle and lots of DCs participating in some corporate event. I'm in a daring mood and decide it's time to defy social rules by getting on the table in the middle of this meeting. Then I almost lose lucidity being carried away by thoughts of how all of the world's problems may be solved by by issuing unlimited credit cards to the entire population.

I keep thinking about this issue as I leave the place and continue towards an unknown city center. There to help me focus more I shout out loud "I am dreaming". There was a slight instability so this helps me ground as well.

Then I remember the invisibility task and go in the middle of the road pretending to be invisible.There are cars coming from all directions but as soon as I pay attention to them, they hit the breaks and spin a bit. I turn around and the same thing happens again. Then I see this huge truck coming in my direction. I start waving hands, checking if the driver can see me. He doesn't hit the brake or slow down and the truck is quickly coming closer. I step to the side to avoid the impact. There's little space between me and the truck, my uncontrolled expectations cause it to fall sideways on top of me, where I feel this huge weight on me. I try to move and free my head, but this results in a physical feeling, which gives me the impression I have just moved in my bed. I expect to wake up any moment but get an FA instead.

I believe that I have woken up for real and the first thing I notice is this piano music coming from the outside. I'm actually in the neighbors where we used to live some time ago and look to find where the music is coming from. I see this girl that I remember (possibly from another dream but could be false memory) who got that piano there and something about her. As if that isn't enough, the balcony is crowded - many people in their 20s and 30s dressed with business attire as if attending some sort of event. I'm think this is just too much when I am trying to fall asleep and decide this can only be a dream, reminding myself that I was trying to ld. Can't member how, but it seems I lose consciousness after that and have another FA.

I think in the beginning, I'm looking from the window to see what's down but then the scene changes and we move to this wooden porch. I initially see this strange big animal that looks suspiciously like a DS, I can't tell what kind of animal it is. Then there is a smaller one and I'm still trying to identify the large one. I'm starting to have some real doubts about this and begin to count the animals, one now looks like a bear and can't remember the rest but there's four of them. I conclude this is a dream and go to interact with one of the animals. It looks like a very large black boar/tapir and as I place my hand on its snout, it bites me and it even hurts.

I move slightly to the left and examine the rest of the area, where I notice a number of elephant-like creatures. I think they are separated from the porch, but no cage, it looks much like in a zoo. At some point the elephants begin to distort in features, open mounts and start roaring very louldy in a generally unpleasant manner. I try to stop them by thinking I want them to stop, but nothing happens and more join the roaring event. I remain there staring at them as they do so, kind of calm, but there's also this deeper inner response to their roaring, which surely is what is affecting them. I think that the problem is exactly this feedback loop - I am thinking that they are roaring, therefore they continue roaring. Then conveniently, I recall the inivible task and think it can be applied quite nicely here. I think that I am invisible. To my genuine surprise, at this very moment all the roaring stops for good.

I'm curisous to how far I can take this with my supposed invisibility and turn around and try to sneak out, while carefully listening for any reaction. The dream fades.

Notes: I have reduced B6 dosage to 50mg as previously it made me too wakeful. Recent valerian series - characterized by difficult recall, lower lucidity levels and more bizarre occurrences, in particular animals.

Failed DEILD

In the dream I'm in a house with two families. There is a flood about to hit us. I tell everyone to remain calm and collect any items that are important to them, and they all walk off. I go outside where concrete steps lead down to the street. I see the water rushing past the houses at the far end and I take a step back, preparing myself. As the water flows up the steps I push it back with my telekinetic powers, but it keeps coming. I continue pushing it back, becoming a little bored.

I wake and haven't moved or opened my eyes. The dream is still fresh in my mind. I focus on the predominant emotion of the dream (softness), and I feel myself going back into the dream. I end up pushing the sensation and it disappears.

False Awakenings (WBTB and MILD)

I have five successive false awakenings. In the first two I'm in sleep paralysis and attempt to move into a lucid dream, but end up back in bed. In the third my body is again vibrating but there is something threatening beside my face. After a few seconds of trying to talk to it I wake up. In the fourth I sit up and see my dog is on my bed eating a toilet bowl clip-on. In the last false awakening I sit up and begin writing in my dream journal. I then become lucid, but after a few seconds the dream collapses to a point and I wake into WL.

Sorry i havn't posted in a while, my weeks are very hectic and it's difficult to find any spare time, especially to write dreams down. I was dreaming throughout the week though.

I had like 15 false awakenings last night. Because all those false awakening really threw me off, I will only be writing down the one solid dream i remember. I am appalled at my behaviour during this dream. This is not something i would ever, EVER consider doing in real life. There is a part where i kill another person, and i think it might even have been another dreamer, but i sincerely hope it wasn't...i don't want to hurt anyone. If it was, i'm sorry.

To explain my color coding:
Red is for Non Lucid.
Green is for lucid.
Purple is for my speech.
Blue is for male speech.
Pink is for female speech.
Black is for side notes, that are not a part of the dream.

I'm with a group of men, traveling along a highway in a car. to the left of the highway is a hill, or a slope. It goes down far enough that i cannot see the bottom. To the right, the slope goes uphill, yet i cannot see the top. Anyways, we are driving and discussing a plan. A plan we have, to break itno this place, and place an object i nthere, to destroy something, and also steal all the money from the place while i nthe process. I don't remember the exact plan, but it's solid, we cannot fail. Eventually we arrive at this lace, it's like a mixture of a school and a hospital. The students are adults though. So we come in through the main entrance, and lock it up. No one gets in and no one gets out. We head down a hall to left and enter the only door on the left. It's some kind of classroom. We come in and tell the teacher to shut the hell up, and give us the acess code for the electrical room, and the vault. She beings arguing with us, and givings us a hard time. None of my associates knwo what to do. I tell them i'll handle this. (this part is kind of confusing because i act like i'm lucid, and that i know it's a dream, but i am not actually lucid and don't realize i'm dreaming.)

"listen, lady, your life is in your hands here. All you have to do is give us what we need and we won't kill you."

"Well what about the class? we could easily just all over power you. And they are all witnesses, none of you are wearing mask. What are you going to do kill us all?"

"These people don't matter, they are just dream characters. They aren't real, i can do whatever i want with them. Watch."

I snap my fingers, and make one of the students stand up and casually wlak to the doro behind us, and lock it. She then comes and stands behind me, leaning on my shoulder and looking at the Teacher with a sly grin.

"you see, complete control."

I wave my hand and all of the Dream character's dissapear. The teacher looks upset, she knew she has lost.

"Fine, i'll give you the acess codes. And then go away and leave me alone. The acess codes is 219."
(219 is a number that follows me everywhere in waking life. this is kind of creepy.)

I tell one of my associates to go check it out. he comes back in a minute or two and says it was correct. I look at the teach and say, "thanks." The shoot her several times.

...

My associates and I are in a sort of in a cafeteria / lounge room, which is next to the acess room. There are more of us now. We completed our mission and are jsut kind of hanging out and relaxing before we leave. Suddenly someone comes up to me, i and i shocked. It is someone who i was friends with when i was younger, in waking life. He is older now, and still a skinny little s**t, but he looks a little 'meaner'.

He looks at me and says, "I finally found you. If you want to live, come with me. I'm taking you to Andrew."
(Andrew was another friend my waking life childhood. He was the sort of leader of their little 'crew'.)

"You STILL don't scare me kid. Neither does andrew for that matter. It would be nie see them again thoguh, perhaps i can...'clear up'...some of that bad blood." I say with a smile on my face.

"whatever lets go."

He handcuffs me and we get in his truck. We are driving along the same highway we where using to get to the building i had just commited crimes in. We are nearing the exit, and i realize Andrew would probably kill me on sight, and i am handcuffed so there is nothing i can do.

"Hey little bitch. I know you have hated me our entire lives, what do you say before we go to andrew we fight. Or are you a still a coward?"

He looks at me and slams on the brakes. We pull over to the side of the road. He opens my door and kicks me out of the truck. I fall to the ground, but it doesn't matter, i needed to be hear anyways. I slide my arms aroudn my lower body, moving handcuffed hands from behind me to in front of me. I hear the truck door slam on his side and he is starting to walk around the back to get to me. I open the doro to his truck, get in, and lock the door. Whe he realizes this he comes running up to the side of the winder and begins smashing on it. "You F**king coward!!"

"you're the one who wants to fight someone with handcuffs, not me."

I reach around in his glove compartment and find the keys, I remove the handcuffs. It's go time. I unlock the door and kick it open, which knocks him back. I jump down out of the truck and land. I ready myself. "now it's a little more even. Although, probably not, because you never could beat me." He gets angry, and pulls out a knife. "that's going to kill you, i suggest you put that away."

He ignores me and charges me. He goes for a stab in my stomach. I gracefully side step him, grabbing his arm in the process, and redirected the momentum to make his arm stab himself, in stead. He just looks at me with malice in his eyes, blood coming out of his mouth. He tries to say something, but more blood just comes out of his mouth. I look at his casually and say "Yeah, whatever kid." and gently kick him so he falls over, lying on the ground.

"well, that takes care of that, and now...."

Now, i realize i just killed someone on the side of the dang highway. This is not good. I can see all the people looking at me as they go by in their cars, some of them on phones, obviously calling 911. My only option is to cross the highway and retread upwards into the hill, as the hill was covered in forest. I cross and begin going around the woods, try to find a path. (The woods where beautiful by the way, all of the leaves where orange and yellow, and there was a heavy scent of 'fall' in the air. This is strange, as outside the woods everything was green.) I eventually find an opening, and...it's the boss. The one who organize the entire operation. He's stand by a tree, talking with some huge guy, must be his number one goon or something. The boss is short and fat. He is literally a spitting image of Ernie Potts from Hey Arnold!.


I come running up them.

"Boss, i ran into some trouble, I had to kill a kid on the highway and everyone has seen my face. I need to law low for a bit. Allow me to return to base."

He looks at me for a bit, then lets out a very subtle grin.

"Ah yes..i had....heard...about that. You can go to base as soon as you dig up the treasure. After yoru collegues retrieved the money from the school, they buried it here. I need you dig it up and take it to a location for me."

"What...i can't do that. There are going to be cops everywhere, looking for me."

"No no, it's fine. You'll be okay, i promise."

"No, i'm not doing it."

He chuckels a bit and looks at the big goon.

"i understand your concern. But i am the boss, and you really don't have a choice in the matter."

I get an idea. If i am forced to do this, i will just take the money and run. If i have to risk my life and freedom, then it will be for me and me only.

"fine."

"Ah, good, i'm glad you came to your senses."

He turns around, and begins talking and joking with the Tall goon.

Suddenly, it hits me.

"Wait...you...you planned this whole thing."

He turns around and looks at me, with a fake quizical look.

"You are the one who told Andrew my location, and you told him the Operation we where on. You told him you would give him a cut if he helped take care of me. So he sent someone after me. But you knew i woudl easily outmatch him. You knew i would kill him in a public place, and become a suspect. And then your plan was to have me move the money to a location, so it would appear i was the only who robbed the school as well, making you and all your men completly in the clear."

"...Rather impressive, you are not as dumb as you look."

"you won't get away with this."

"Oh? but i will....."


He and his good pull out a large knife. They begin closing in on me. Alright, stay calm we got this. The goon comes at me, and i do the same thing i did to him as i did to the person who tried to stab me in the stomach earlier.

The boos looks at me and snivels,"Impressive. But you will not kill me."

he comes at me and swings his knife, i am forced to roll backwards to avoid it, i wasn't able to pull the knife out of the goons gut. He walks over to the goon and picks it up, switching his grips on the knife so he holds them backwards. He comes at me, and goes for about 7 or 8 swipes/stabs, and i dodge them all. However, he is not leaving any opening, and without a weapon to parry his attacks, it's difficult to create one. He manages to get a stab on my upper breast, under my left collar bone. I ignore the pain. He keeps attacking and i keep dodging. He starts breathing heavily....this is my chance...
I take a side step forward, preparing the all powerful side step kick. Before i even bring my leg up all the way though, he jumps forward, and re-stabs my my breast, and the other knife goes into my lower abdomen.

"You where fainting....you f**k...."

i fall to the ground. He begins laughing obnoxiously.

And then i wake up, with my breast and lower abdomen hurting me. I was wicked mad he had done that, and i remember not even opening my eyes when waking up. All i could think was, "that bastard! i have to get back in that dream and kick his ass!" But....i was not able to get back into that dream. If that was a real dreamier i killed in the school i am terribly sorry if i disrupted your dream. I mean no harm!

There was another dream i had, but i can only remember bits and pieces of it, because as i said i had about 15 false awakenings last night so it was very confusing. The parts of that dream, there was like an all powerful vampire, and he was hunting my friend, who was a young weak vampire for some reason. I wasn't a vampire, but a vampire hunter. The dream basically consisted of me protecting my friend, fighting off the powerful vampire, and retreating and resting until he found us again. There was one part in the dream though, where we where at some college for some reason, and it suddenly got attacked by zombies. I rallied the students and got them all to start killing the zombies with me. Fun stuff.

I finally had my second lucid a few nights ago. It lasted a while (maybe as long as 15 minutes), though this was a result of sheer luck. Every few minutes I woke into a false awakening, in which I was in sleep paralysis, so then moved directly back into the same dream. Throughout I assumed I was waking up and falling back asleep.

It started with me waking into sleep paralysis. This could have been a false awakening, but I’m unsure. My body was vibrating. I relaxed, falling into the vibrations and inward spinning, intent on seeing where these lead me. Eventually I felt myself standing in darkness, and long streaks of purple light began zooming around me. I looked down at my hands (so opened my dream eyes?) and saw they were blurry. I also noticed part of a room with white walls had appeared. I pushed my fingers through my palm and almost shouted out in excitement that “I did it”. I calmed myself down, then rubbed my hands together and tried to shout “clarity”, but my voice broke. The scene remained mainly blurry.

My lucidity levels moved up and down throughout the dream, and this began straight away. I decided I wanted to have sex, so tried to imagine a woman. The darkness was now one of the walls of the room, and “inside” the silhouettes of four women appeared (the woman I tried to imagine actually turned up later). They walked into the room, materialising as I stood amazed. One of them, who appeared incredibly vivid, came up to me and for some reason I now thought she was real. We went through a door into another small room, sat on a bed and talked about my having managed to lucid dream. She was excited, congratulating me. Suddenly another woman jumped onto the bed and asked why we weren’t with everyone else, and I remembered these were dream characters and I wanted to have sex.

I went back into the main room and the other two women were sitting on a couch. I started having sex with one of them, then someone jumped onto the couch. I looked up and saw none other than myself. Again, my lucidity level dropped, and I thought he was real. I wondered why I was also in this dream.

I stood up, confused, and looked around the room. There was a young man sitting at the “darkness wall”. I sensed that he had evil eyes and sharp teeth, so, remembering I should face anything scary, I began walking up to him. I was waking up, though. The scene changed to 3rd person and I watched myself giving him a high five.

Then I woke into sleep paralysis. I lay thinking about the vivid woman and how my “visualisation skills had improved”, then followed the vibrations back into the same room.

There were now only three women sitting on the couch, all blurry. Deciding I didn‘t want to have sex again, I turned to the “darkness wall”. I jogged towards it, wanting to see if I could fly to another dreamscape, and jumped over the edge. Below me, shinning out in the darkness, was a medieval castle (which was incredibly vivid). I wanted to go further, though, so I kept flying. Which was pretty amazing; I could feel and hear wind, and I was flying beside what appeared to be the outlines of tall buildings. After about thirty seconds, I began to worry that I would never reach anywhere, so turned around. Just as I saw the room in the distance I woke into sleep paralysis.

This time I was afraid. Something was quietly growling beside my face. I reminded myself that I had no reason to be afraid and it disappeared. Multi-coloured lights began flashing in front of me and I went through them.

Back in the room either my lucidity level was low, or I was dreaming. Two DCs I thought were my parents told me they had hired a private investigator to find my wife. I believed what they were saying, even knowing the woman was the one I tried to imagine earlier. We walked into another room, with a city behind a large window, and met the private investigator. He told us he would do everything he could then walked through a door into the city. My parents began arguing with me, saying I had been rude to him. I told them it was possible he wouldn’t come back, because I hadn’t yet went through to the city to check with others whether he was reliable.

Woke into sleep paralysis. Followed the vibrations.

I was back with my “parents”, but now knew they were DCs. I decided to see my WL mum, so turned around to a door, said my mum was in the room, then opened it. I saw her standing inside, then suddenly the entire mood of the room changed to one of anguish. For some reason I knew she was in pain because she was only a DC(?!!). Disturbed, I closed the door, and the mood disappeared.

I woke into sleep paralysis, only this time it wore off within seconds. I sat up and tried to write what just happened in my dream journal, but my pen didn’t work. (I checked the paper afterwards in WL and there were no depressions.) I lay back down and either fell asleep, or sleep paralysis hit me. I don’t remember.

Back in the room with my “parents” and wife, but lost lucidity and started dreaming about visiting a museum with them.

I woke into my last false awakening. My dog came into my room and I got up and gave her a pet. Then I woke into WL.

It's just a dream fragment ...

I just remember I kind of got into my home (apartment) by some way I can't remember ... Okay so the place was crowded with people and I just ran to my room for reasons I am not aware of and I am aware, out of the blue, I AM. Okay so, I met my classmate (I dislike her a lot) and I just talked to her for no reasons known and I was kind of scared that I'll lose my dream but my dream appeared to be stable, but my fear was that if I blink then I'd wake up, so I blinked and then I "woke up" and I thought I was awake. I don't remember what happened after I "woke up" but I just know that when I woke up IRL I was pretty sure that the previous wake up was IWL thus a FA.

This is the third night in a row now, I have the first time this happened posted on here as well.
His experience isn't changing very much, the first time he could see himself and me laying on the bed asleep but he was across the room, looking at us, and then he saw just a big black ball of really nothing..but it was talking to him through his mind, this thing had no facial or body features.
The second night he saw the shape of a full upper body, but still no face.
The thing took him to the same place he was the first time, which was that graveyard full of children strapped to the ground and he paralyzed him to not be able to move or look away while he burned the children, and then brought him back to our room and said to him "remember, I'm watching you", he again touched his physical body and woke up, to our tv being on on some tv show completely frozen with some guy just staring into the camera, I experienced that part because he woke me up and showed me and then told me about the dream/OOBE happening again.
And last night (the third night) this same thing happened all over again he "woke up" in our room and this guy was there again only this time he saw the same only the upper body no face, except for a pair of really bright, bright blue eyes and he tried to tell it no and he wasn't going with it, and it grabbed him and pulled him to that graveyard again to experience this whole thing over again.
My boyfriend said he continuously tried to ask it questions but the only answers this thing gave him was
"These children deserve this"
and my boyfriend also asked it, it's name and this thing said it's name was Francis.

Please help me...I'm getting extremely worried. Every night this has happened, around the time my boyfriend wakes up my son is waking up as well. I'm terrified.

Had several dreams, about 4-5, but unfortunately they ran away.

2 false awakenings in 1 night , I'm so very happy about this.

False awakening #1
I'm in my bed then all of a sudden I get excited then I start rolling over slowly, this ultimately ends in a sticky mess -.- .

False awakening #2
I'm in my bed (thinking about a dream I just had) then I got excited again and end up in (you guessed it) a sticky mess -.- .

The most awkward thing happened to me a few days ago.

I was actually surprised at myself after this dream occured. I had the most obvious dream sign ever and I still didn't manage to become aware/lucid. I had more than 5 fingers on each of my hands and all I did was look at them and I have no idea what happened afterwards.

And then after a few days, something strange happened as well.

I was in a dream, I actually became aware, I was lucid and I didn't get excited but my dream was fading away slowly and I could hear myself breathe and I thought okay that was it. But I think that it was just a FA because I don't remember waking up tbh.

---

The thing is that my dream recall is getting better. Getting lucid is apparently becoming easier and easier, but there's one thing I've noticed. It's easier for me to become lucid when I'm at my chalet on the mountains. I don't know why but nearly all of my lucid dreams have happened there.

My boyfriend today was telling me about a dream or possibly out of body experience he had last night.
He isn't one to believe or practice in out of body experiences. So this was odd, he said he "woke up" in the dream at 2am and he was standing in our room where he saw himself and me laying bed asleep, the room was dark with very little light. He saw a shapeless black entity that had no face and spoke to him telepathically. This thing led him away from the room and brought him to a graveyard covered in children laying tied down to the ground and this thing paralyzed him and made him unable to close his eyes or look away from these children who were telling him to run and get away, and this thing lit the children on fire. After it was all over it said to my boyfriend "I have you now, I control you." and he was back in our room and he touched his physical body laying in bed and he woke up to our son crying and it was 6am. Help me please I'm worried.

1/25/14**

Interesting development tonight! Instead of some previous experiences where it felt like mechanics were involved in countering my lucidity...tonight both LDs felt like I was suspicious I could be dreaming and I was getting nudges of help or clues! I think this was due to my re-inspired self awareness work! Anyway busy today got to be brief. First LD I was sitting outside with a heavy-set black guy with mostly shaved head but a slight fade. For the second night in a row I see something interesting about the stars in the sky (previous night I was just focusing on a good night's sleep and got a fantastic show in the sky that was non lucid; stars lighting up unusually and then became firework sounds behind a cloud and then very clear and vivid fireworks with animation in the sky thinking it was a little late for fireworks - felt like 10:30 p.m. in the dream - and it turned out to be some advertising campaign but so beautiful!) anyway I tell that guy that those stars
look unusual, the constellation was laid out with so many stars kind of in a shape of a boot and as I was pointing it out the whole constellation lit up (lucidity help#1) and I realized that I must be dreaming but it felt so real but I said no I must be dreaming. I decided to RC by flying up into the sky. Yep! I am thinking what now and think of flying to the moon and I look for the moon as I'm floating high up in the sky. I see the moon and start flying towards it and as I get close I go to land and somehow end up in a big L shaped room that looked like an abandoned club house or game room with items at each end of the L. I think okay is this supposed to be on the moon? Sure enough I'm bouncing around the room with moon like gravity! It is actually a whole lot of fun! After bouncing around for awhile I look at the front door to this big room and I think about what they were talking about in the last podcast and decided I would go out a different way
and flew up through the roof as if it were not there. I'm floating in the sky again and I look for some interesting stars to fly to and think about the tip from Sivason. As I focus on each star they move a little to the right or a little to the left. Finally I find one that seems to stay fixed and I focus on it as I begin to fly towards it but then I lose sight of it but I can feel that I am deep in space and it feels a little weird like gentle pressure waves rolling against me. I feel lost out here so I decide to teleport back to the L shaped room and bounce around some more. I lost lucidity either here or through the FA that followed. A guy similar to the one at the beginning of the dream was there and had a habit of turning on multiple TV'S...like a compulsion. This was after a normal wbtb about 4 hours in. Woke up from LD#1 around 5am. Did a more lazy wbtb with less SSILD cycles overlayed with mantra that I stop & realize I am dreaming + one that I
recognize the transition (both were WILD attempts turned DILDs). 2nd LD I was in what was supposed to be my grandparents house. I was helping my grandmother with something in the garage and she decided it was time to go to bed and she went on towards bed and as I passed the laundry area(?) between the garage and the house I spilled something on the floor and it got worse as I tried to stop the spill. I went in to the bathroom to clean up I guess and heard a jingling sound then saw a small white fluffy dog and thought hmm I guess that is their dog. Then I see a taller majestic grayish blackish dog and think that is strange...doesn't seem like any dog of theirs and think this could be a dream. Nudged again (lucidity help#2) I see someone walking towards me in a bear suit and I say now I know I am dreaming! I fly up out of the house and it is daytime whereas before it seemed like night. There is a line of college cheerleaders (male and female) out in
front of the house performing. Like in one of my HHs earlier where a woman in a skirt had one leg propped up on something provocatively, I saw a cheerleader standing legs split with a "come hither" look and I swooped down to the ground below her and worked my way towards performing oral on her as she grabbed at my junk, enjoying the experience but eventually faded back to bed.

I'm in a house which contains a dollhouse which is an exact model of the house, even containing a miniature version of the dollhouse itself, which in turn is a perfect model with its own miniature dollhouse inside, and so on; the dream camera zooms in through what seems to be an infinite series of nested houses, and I say "It's recursive."

Inside one of these levels of houses, I can hear a woman's voice singing, not a recording or anything professional, it's the way someone might sing to themselves around the house, going "la la la" instead of words. I'm in a hall, passing by a woman's bedroom where there are a few cardboard boxes open on the floor, one with old Victorian clothes spilling out, and a mirror in a gold frame. The mirror catches my attention and I go lucid. I'd been thinking earlier (while awake) that mirrors are often linked with magic and summoning in my dreams and I'd intended to try using that deliberately the next time I had a lucid dream, so I look at this one now and try to summon Julia, who I'd expect to be the easiest character for my mind to summon. After a moment I see a woman moving in the mirror in the distance, too far away to see much, but it's not Julia. I start to try again with a slightly different approach, but then think that I'm a little too close to waking up for this. I lose visuals.

I 'wake up' in bed and reach for a pen to jot this down, but I drop it and have to get out of bed to look for it. I'm irritated by this, thinking I'm going to forget the dream - then I wake up again.

Wow I haven't posted any dreams in ages––partly because I'm lazy, but also because I haven't been taking very good track of my dreams over the past few months. But now I'm trying to start keeping track again, and hopefully posting these will motivate me to write my dreams down more often.

I don't remember any dreams from last night, but I'll post a dream I wrote down a few weeks ago that was particularly long/crazy and had a ton of different parts in it. So yeah, here goes:

I go to [my college] and it’s the beginning of the school year—or so I assume because it’s all sunny and green outside and whatnot. It’s during orientation or something, and all the upperclassmen (the third and fourth years that is) have to join together to learn one huge dance. We all have to wear crazy colorful costumes with lots of feathers on them and stuff.

I’m late or something and I have to learn part of the dance from some random girl in a trailer near [the athletic center]. So I get in the trailer and the girl is showing me how to do part of the dance. It mostly involves some pretty simple move where I pretty much just have to step forward, then back, then to the side, or something along those lines. But she keeps saying I’m doing it wrong even though I thought it was super easy, so I figure I’m missing something.

Anyway, then the girl has to go somewhere, and there’s this random older guy (like a professor or something, I don’t know) standing outside the trailer who says he will teach me the rest of the dance later, but then he walks away. I become paranoid that I’m not going to be able to learn the dance in time.

I start walking around and looking at the various groups of people in their colorful costumes. It seems like everyone has split into groups and they’re all going to do separate dances. (I see [a girl I know from high school] and she’s talking about how her group has to wear fake boobs. Huhhh.) I think about how nice it is that the upperclassmen get to do this instead of doing stupid orientation activities.

There’s another short part where I’m lying in my bed (at home) and [two of my sisters] are also in their beds and asking me questions about some movie about a chef––but like, the whole movie is a euphemism for sex somehow and they’re asking me to explain it and I’m like, “Uhhh … I don’t know.”

In another part I’m working at [the library where I used to work] again, and I’m not really doing anything––just wandering around the stacks looking for something interesting to read. But every time I find a spot where I can just stand around and read for a while, I see some other librarians standing around talking and I’m afraid I’ll get caught.

I end up in some random corner where there are a bunch of flyers and booklets on a shelf and I’m trying to arrange them all in a neat row but they keep all falling over or turning outwards. I realize it might be a better system if I just had them all arranged so that they were facing out, but then I’m too lazy to change the arrangement I’ve already made.

Below that shelf there’s another shelf with gigantic picture books on it. They all look super old. Apparently they’re reference books and I’ve never seen them before, and they’re all really cool––so I’m like, “Whoa, why did I never know about these?”

(I think I either wake up from this one or I have a false awakening—either way, I have this disorienting moment where I still believe I work at the library in real life and then I’m really confused, like, “No I don’t … Wait, yes I do … Wait, no I don’t …”)

There’s some really short part where I’m watching some thing where Superman and some blond lady with a ponytail and I think a few other people are all running through this stormy landscape and then there are these helicopters chasing after them that are going to shoot at them, and Superman is like, “Haha well that’s okay, because I’m immune to bullets!” And all his friends are like, “Ummm … but we’re not.”

Yet another part: I’m in my grandparents’ (old) house, in their TV room. I think maybe my mom is also there? And I’m trying to call [my sisters], and then I try to call [three of my friends from high school] … because apparently all five of them are on a hike together. When I try to call [my sister] she doesn’t pick up her phone, but then this weird thing happens where she somehow answers the phone after her “leave a message” recording thing has played but I still can’t talk to her because she can’t hear me I guess. I think I actually talk to [my friend] on the phone but I forget what she says.

In another part I’m in some random kitchen (which kind of looks like our kitchen at [the place I used to live]) and I think my whole family is there. There’s this weird washing machine; [my brother] opens it and it still continues running even when it’s open. But the whole time it’s running, it’s overflowing and squirting all this water into the microwave which is situated above it. And my mom is like, “Oh don’t worry, that’s normal.”

At some other point, I’m at some random event and all my high school friends are there. We’re all sitting in this big field somewhere and it’s kind of getting dark outside. I’m talking to [one of my friends] and I have a popsicle stick for some reason––one of those ones with a joke on it. And I’m like, “Haha want to hear a popsicle stick joke?” and then I try to read the joke but I misread it and accidentally think it says something about Sherlock and I’m like, “Lol I can’t stop thinking about Sherlock.” (I had this dream after the day season 3 started, so ... it was actually true.)

And finally there’s some other part where there are a bunch of kids are having some kind of race and then there are these two boys who are particularly competitive with each other … ? Err yeah I don’t remember the details.

17.01.2014

Katsumi from DOA and Delfino Square (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm trying to walk in a linear path that has a close resemblance of Delfino Square, but it's much more detailed than that. Seems I'm walking down an alley or an area with a lot of apartments on both sides.

I see Katsumi from DOA that's almost wearing this same attire below:

Spoiler for boobs:

Things start getting weird where the dream skips a bit, or at least how I try to walk looks skipped and out of sync. First, I would see a backside view of myself wearing a brown leather shirt and dark blue jeans as well.

I would be slightly midair, almost as if I was materialized a few inches from the ground with the left leg straight, and the right leg bent at an angle preparing for a walk. Then it would skip a frame to me landing, and it would skip a bit more and reset me to the same positions a few more times.

Then I get the option to teleport by mentally selecting the HUD on the bottom that gives me choices to go to 1 2 3, and I presume these must be sections of the environment I'm in.

Katsumi is getting closer and closer the more I teleport myself, and I can't remember else for that dream.

_________________________

17.01.2014

Party Over Here & Paper Thin Menus (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

• Party occurring
  
• I grab some cookies
  
• Sit next to guy similar to waking life counterpart Rll(roul)
  
• Guy to the left of me orders huge meal, I see fried octopus legs and maybe ranch dipping
  
• I want to prepare an order as well, and eventually found a menu that was as thin as a paper towel.

18.01.2014

Female Blonde Child at a Festival? (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

>Female blonde child at a festival

>She looked like she could be much older, but her visage is child-like, and I didn't get the chance to analyze her body composition at the time.

>She seems to be glancing over at me for a few seconds, and then looks away at what seems to be a festival starting

>The environment seems to be blurred out, and there's higher focus and detail on the girl's face.

_________________________

18.01.2014

Hey, It's That Guy From That Other Movie! (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

False awakening

>Woke up feeling as if I was in waking life. I didn't bother to check if there were any peculiar aspects within the dream simply because it looked like the exact model.

> Darker setting than usual

>Looked at the television to find a highly detailed visualization of someone that I recalled glancing over in a movie some relatives were watching the day before

>When I told them he looks like that same guy, I see one male relative of mine looking at me and slightly smiling a bit, but he doesn't seem to be doing so because of my existence. It seems like he's in slow motion.

>Things felt awkward and I don't know what happens next

It's been some time since I last posted here, so I figured it might be fun to do so and comment a bit on my dreams. I will be keeping my dreams on my computer as well starting today, and I will place paper and pencil next to my bed so I can write down some keywords that relate to the dreams I have.

Both of these dreams are non-lucid.

Dream 1:
I'm at snowy mountains, most likely winter sports. It's quite crowded here, and my sister and her boyfriend are somewhere at these mountains as well but not near me right now. I'm in a queue and I see a girl looking at me, as I look her in the eye I just have enough time to smile. She looks back down and up again after a second or so and smiles. I approach her, we talk a bit and both sit down. However she is just not my type and I can notice myself slowly sinking away and I eventually fall down the mountain.

I wake up in a japanese style room, my sis and her boyfriend are there as well. I go up to my sis and I notice there's a green insect on her, so I flick it off her with my fingers. He keeps coming back and there's more and more eventually, her boyfriend doesn't do anything however. The dream slowly fades to black and I wake up.


Dream 2:
This is kinda vague, but I can remember being in a very dark room with a broken tv (it's cracking and shit). I'm feeling anxious here, and I feel myself unable to move. This is a common occurrence in some of my dreams and it's bugging the shit out of me, however this time I manage to break free but my dream fades away as soon as that happens.

Notes: I think this 'force' that is holding me down, the force that is separating me from my body is my weed addiction which I am overcoming now (13 days clean now) and this force hasn't been as much of a hassle lately, so metaphorically speaking it makes sense. Good stuff.

I'm a firm believer that dreams are messages of the subconscious to make you more aware of yourself and even to guide you in life.

So I guess this was a FA, because after the dream I woke up and the goonies was on TV. I wasn't even watching it, and my iPad was beside me.. When it wasn't, then I went back to sleep and I remember the balcony thing. Me and my friends went down stairs and we were in my house. We were just in the school. Then we went to my door way and there was a cop there, he was smash talking to my friend griffin and I said "hey dude back off, whats your problem". (no really whats his problem for yelling at him when he didn't do anything) he started yelling his head off at me and I laughed and looked away and said "haha what a loser". He was about to yell more then my mom came home and said to the cop "get out of my house right now" and she started talking gibberish like she was trash talking. Then my friends darius mom came to pick me up idk why, and it ended