false awakening

So, I should probably start this off by explaining that literally all of this is a dream. There was at no point of this where I actually woke up and no point where I was lucid. Anyway, here it goes, one of the freakiest and bizarre dreams where I was aware I was dreaming but not lucid.

The dream started off with me in an apartment which I hardly recognized. I went to the stairs and suddenly knew I was dreaming, but I also couldn't control it and tried to see what I could do. I then had a false awakening where I was in front of my friend Sonam's house and he just arrived and found me on the front steps. He took me inside and into what looked like a therapist's office and shone a light in my eyes, saying that my pupil's were pinpoints and that I had been sleepwalking and was not fully awake. Then, I found myself in a movie theater watching a play apparently. My friend Kevin was sitting next to me talking to me about how I was probably slowly going insane from too much lucid dreaming, and how you really shouldn't be walking around in your own mind since it's a very erratic place.

I then had another false awakening where I was in my room but there was like a metal shelf full of chips a soda next to me. I realized that this was another dream and had yet another false awakening. Now I was outside my house and all the houses next to me looked extremely real minus a few strange details such as them changing if I looked at them for too long, but I remember looking closely at my handrail and the pattern of the corroded metal looking very real. I worried that I might be sleep walking and in danger so I tried to find someone who could wake me up. I started walking in a direction to see if it would take me to some surreal place but it was just my regular neighborhood and I began to get worried that I might really be half awake and sleep walking.

Suddenly, I find myself walking down a dark street and thinking about a meme I saw where a girl is being grabbed by a zombie and the caption reads "Try lucid dreaming they said, it will be fun they said." I look down into a sewer and somehow know that if I go down into that sewer there be that same scene.

I then found myself walking towards what looked like a school and it's daylight and I somehow know it's graduation day at the school, and a bunch of people I know are there heading towards the school. Inside the school it's like a maze, and a little person shows up and tells me that I am still dreaming and that I should try to force myself away. I have yet another false awakening but this time my vision is horribly impaired and I am having difficulty navigating my room. Everything goes black and finally I wake up for real.

I toss over in my bed thinking to myself, why the hell do i set these alarms for 5:45 in the morning.....Its way to early for this crap....It doesnt even usually work.... But heck ill give another try....I close my eyes and think to myself in my next dream i will be aware. I will be aware I'm dreaming. I keep thinking that and presto i fall asleep

Dream 1
Lucid

I find myself in a black abyss, there is nothing there but darkness, I look around and see nothing and I begin to think to myself. This is so weird it makes no sense... wait a minute... im dreaming....wait.... IM DREAMING! I feel the rush through my body and know i need to act fast as I'm about to wake myself from getting to excited. I look down and see my hand I begin to feel my hand. The sensation of my skin touch skin was amazing the most awesome feeling ive ever felt in a dream. (I never feel things in dreams) I think to myself i need to find something to look at, but there is nothing but darkness. I begin to rub my hands the sensation growing stronger. i can feel myself slipping mroe though as I now feel myself rubbing my hands together in waking life. I try and make it more clear so i can find an object to touch so i say Clarity now! Clarity now!! the darkness begins to go away as a light fills the air I see the outline of a tree but as I do the dream ends.

Dream 2 Not lucid

I'm driving a car in a city. I see several dream signs but don't think anything of it at the time as I'm trying to pay attention to the road as there are so many one way streets.

Dream 3
Not lucid

Im in a bar/auditorum setting. Im going upfront of this group of people and about to sing joyfull joyfull with another friend who is goign to play the bass at the same time.

Dream 4.
Not lucid

I found myself at a campground at a beach with my bestfriend. I went around the park and saw different campers and buildings recogining some and saying Oh thats where so and so is at. I finnaly got back to our camper and went into the bathroom and the toilet for some reason was also part of like a bath/shower unit. I went down into the thing and took my pants off andp ut them out side the door. I then was about to take a shower or use the toilet when my friend and his wife started asking me questions. I panicked and looked everywhere for my pants but i couldnt find them i was pulling my shirt down and went walking about the camper lookign for my pants and finnaly i was like wait they are outide the bathroom.... and sure enough there they were. I put them on and walked out and asked my friend and his wife what they wanted. She said they needed some kind of creame that is like suntan lotion but for sunburn. im like you mean aloe vera? she was like no no no its more like sunscreen but its for after your burnt. im ike ummm do you mean toe cream? she is like ohh i didnt think of that and left.

Dream 5
Not lucid

I was inside an old western relm / medivel relm there was zombies but i never really saw them I just could hear hem behind boarded up windows. I saw a person i knew and went to go help them as they were with a bad person. they went into a bar and so did I but when i was in there it turned into a field. As i got closer to this group of people i saw them have 3 weapons. The first one had a yellow handled hatchets, the second guy had a giant battle axe that was brown wood handle and dark grey blade, the last guy had throwing axe that looked like stainless steel or just polished steel. As we got closer the guy with the hatchet threw it at us, but to mysupprise he threw another and another and another after abotu 6 tosses he finnaly ran out of axes I then saw the guy with the throwing axe was getting ready to toss his axe he tossed it and it came circling around towards me i quickly grabbed an axe from the ground and knocked the axe otu of the air. I picked it up and looked it over, it was beautiful there was a design in it how it was cut and it looked badass. The threee guys retreated behind a bar and the field vanished and turned back into a bar scene. I looked down at the axe in my hand and flung my wrist to see how he tossed the axe to get it to be like a boomarang. After messing with it i finnaly realized how he did it. I walked towards the bar the three men staring at me I tossed the axe and it went flying. It went rotating through the air and sliced through the first person neck it kept going and sliced the next guys next as well severing both heads from the body it sliced the troat of the 3rd guy as it began to circle back around towards me. I looked at the three men thinking how are they not dead? they are still standing....but as i thougth this they all fell down the first 2's head rolling off and the third one bleeding out form his throat. I walked over towards the bar but as I did a cop came in through the door. He walked over towards the bar and i tossed my axe behind the bar. I went to the front of the bar and then realized there was a severed finger under the bar and the cop was going to realize I did it. I got down on my knees and reached for the finger i could feel it but i couldnt get it nor did I want to as the cop was right there i pulled my hand out and saw the blood from the finger on my own hand. the cop looked at me and i tried to change the topic i said thats a nice gun you have. I have one to! I moved my hand to my hip and showed him my gun. He pulled his gun out and said dont you dare think about pulling out your gun. Im like sorry I thought you wanted to just see it. I stood up and a child behind me goes look theres a finger under the bar! the cop crouched down and began to look. I thought crap he is going to know... I have to take him out! I tackled him and pulled a knife to his heart. Holding it ready to stab. I had a flahs back and realizd though that I once tried to kill this man but I let him go. He was trying to better his life as he use to be a serial killer but clearly he was on the right track as he was now a cop. I pulled the knife away and said I cant kill you I didnt do it before and i wont do it now... He stood up and said oh your that man...you saved my life and put me on the right path. thank you. I will forget this ever happened as well. he walked away and i went behind the bar and looked for that throwing axe. I picked it up and went and sat at table with a lady and a guy. As I sat there i saw a table next to us with 4 men. They were scum bags and were some kind of boss's of gangs or something. I pulled my throwing axe up but thought wait.. How am i going to kill all 4 of them and nobody notice? The girl walked away and I thought to myself no... I will try and get them another day. I left the bar and ended up inside something that reminded me of my grandmothers house. There was several people there with (3 other guys) and they were talking about doing a big job. I was messing around with some sticker thing in the trash that was some kind of map. I peeled some of it off and put it in my pocket so that they wouldnt have the full map anymore. i sat down at the table and the guy to my right stood up to go use the bathroom. The guy across from me stood up and pulled out a pistol and aimed it off into the direction the other guy left. I thought Oh crap... they are going to murder him....i need to save him. I stood up and pulled out my axe and as i threw it his gun went off shooting the other person. My axe flew and hit him square in the chest. I looked to my left and the other man stood up pulling out his gun at me. I grabbed his wrist and pushed the gun to the side hitting it from his hands. I pulled out throwing knife and stabbed him in the heart. But i looked and saw i had hit myself and my blood was goign onto his body. I reached down and grabbed my knife and looked out the window. i saw 2 cop cars coming up. I thought to myself. how did they get here so fast? They are going to find out i did this... I grabed the axe from the other body and ran and turned off all the lights. A few of them wouldnt turn off so i left them on. I ran into the other room turned off the TV and other items I looked out the other window and saw 2 more cop cars coming in from the other side of the driveway. I went down into the basement thinking to myself. how did they know??? It just happened it was an accident i was simply trying to save that person life.... Wait they cant come in unless they have a warrent and why would they have a warrent?? i did nothing wrong prior. I went into the basement and went to the left side and found a secret door and opened and went in closing it behind me. there was an old cement staircase that went up a little ways and then turned into an old storage room. I t was a tight fit but i knew i could bunker down in there for as long as i needed. I sat there for a while not moving or making a noise. the room began to transform and it got bigger. Two people came in which i blieved to be my parents at the time. I told them I didnt mean to do what I did and that it was an accident. They understood and said everything was going to be fine. The scene changed and I was now outside with the man that was shot. He was saying how he felt guilty for what happend and he was turning himself in. he pointed to the right and said see thats my train. That car right there is going to be taking me away and will keep me locked up forever. I said to him but you didnt do anything. I did it I did it all you did nothing. If you turn yourself in Then I am turning myself in as well...

End of dream

Dream 6
Not lucid

I foundmyself walking to a school bus. As we got closer the bus driver asked us if we could walk the younger kids to class and we said sure and had them follow us. I got close to the street and I turned around and said now what do we do when we get to a street? The kids yell run acrross! i said no.... you look both ways.... we looked both ways and crossed and went towards a house. The kids went in besides 2 that were on bikes. I told them to turn around and they did but the red bike fell over and the kid fell off hitting his head. I went over to try and help pick him up but he was moving all around and i coudlnt get a grip. i saw blood on the ground coming out of his head I thougth on no this cant be good. I picked him up finnaly and looked at his head and he had a very very small cut but no blood was coming out of it. I thought thats odd....But oh well at least he is doing better. I walked him over to the babysitter and he turned into a very small frog. I said well here is the last kid...he jumped onto a sign that said frogs and the baby sitter looked at him and said okay thanks. and started to walk away I said wait a minute he is a kid you have to look after... Here... i picked him up fro mthe sign and put him on the other side of the saftey child proof gate and put him down. There you go......She smiled and said thanks and picked him up.

end of dream.

Inbetween the last 2 dreams i had a false awakening seeing and turning off an alarm at 7 am but i had no alarm set for that time.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #190: Menthol and Marriage, Part Three

I have another false awakening in bed, but I quickly realize that it's a dream. I hop up immediately and phase out through the wall onto our street. The scene is dark, and after I’ve taken a few steps along the street, it collapses into the void.

I rub my hands together and keep walking forward. No scene takes shape, so I start thinking of directing where I want to go. For some reason I remember my personal goal of traveling to the Taj Mahal. I imagine that it’s in front of me, but can’t quite seem to get anything to take shape.

Suddenly, there’s a hard transition and a feeling of backward acceleration like I’ve been yanked back hard by a long cord. I think “Hell yeah” and get excited about where this will take me. But I’m super disappointed to find myself back in bed in a false awakening.

The room looks just like waking life, so I assume that the dream blew up on me. It feels very “obvious” that this is a real waking, but I try a nose pinch reality check “just in case”. I’m shocked and pleased when I inhale a rush of air past my pinched nostrils.

Immediately I start floating upward toward the ceiling, OBE-style. The room seems brightly lit now. I marvel at how convincing this feels, and as I roll over in the air, I see Wife laying in bed right where she’d normally be. She looks really hot to me so I float down to the bed beside her, feeling very amorous. I say something super cheese like “Hey girl, you know what I want.” Even in-dream it dawns on me that I sound like a doofus and I chuckle a little bit.

Fortunately she’s not repelled by all of this and we get to enjoy a little bit of sexytime before the dream ends.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #189: Nice Throw

I have a false awakening in bed, but there’s something very static about the background and my hands look hyper-realistic. I know that it’s a dream. As I think this, a small statuette appears floating in front of me. I turn it with my hands and it floats serenely in space, unaffected by gravity.

I get out of bed and the scene starts to get dark. There’s a window on the wall to my right that’s usually not there and I decide this’ll be my way out of the house. I pick up a padded foot stool (that looks just like one from my parents’ house) and chuck it at the window. My throw is utterly puny, though, and the stool falls to the floor. The lame attempt kind of embarrasses me.

Instead of fooling with this any further, I phase out of the window into the side yard between our house and the neighbor’s. Everything looks realistic but way too dark. I run out into the street and decide to fly.

I remember the pointing technique I had used in the previous lucid and I employ it again here, pointing into the air and expecting to fly that way. Again it works great and I take to the air. I enjoy some flight for a while but it begins to feel like the dream is fading even more. I rub my hands and things snap back into focus.

I look out to my left and see a fairly vivid industrial cityscape. Bright fire is pouring out of the top of one of the buildings, which looks like some kind of processing facility. I fly toward it to investigate but the dream ends before I make it there.

Very close call on Task of the Year! I'll definitely have to go for this one again.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #188: CL and the Beanstalk

I WILD into a scene filled with fleeting hypnagogic imagery which quickly fades into the void. I start waving my dream-hands in a repetitive motion, waiting for a scene to form. Nothing happens right away, though, so I start licking my fingers for a while to see if that works.

Nothing’s shaping up yet, though, so I try seeing how far I can stick my tongue out. I can feel it extending outward from my mouth seemingly on and on, and after a few moments I can vaguely see it extending away from my face into the distance. Curious how large I can make it, I will the tongue to expand and it balloons out in a huge, rectangular shape as large as a room. After a couple of seconds, I can see that yes, it actually is a room…

Now I’m standing high up in an office building, looking out over a city skyline through enormous windows. It’s late afternoon. I enjoy the sight of the skyline for a moment, rubbing my hands together.

As I’m doing this, a helicopter rises into view from below my line of sight, turns itself directly toward me, and opens fire with dual-mounted miniguns.



The office windows shatter and I feel myself being pelted with glass and bullets. There’s no pain, but each impact feels like a definitive hit. I know that it’s a dream but I can’t stop myself from shying from the window, crouching down, and nearly cowering. I hold my hand out toward the helicopter then swipe it quickly to the right, flinging it away from the building and out of sight.

The wrecked office is filled with random debris now, and I make my way past it to stand at the edge of the now-empty window. I recall Task of the Year (find and plant some magic beans, climb the beanstalk, and defeat the giant at the top.) My immediate goal is to get back to ground level, so I instinctively point to a lower rooftop perhaps 7 or 8 stories down and will myself to float to it. It works and I’m pulled smoothly down.

Now I’m really enthused about this pointing thing, so I point at the street below, once again pulling myself down. I’m filled with confidence after this, so I just start knocking out Task of the Year steps as quickly as I can.

I need bare earth, so I scoop the roadway aside, leaving a bowl-shaped hollow for my seed. I close and then open my hand, expecting the seed to be there. It is! (Looks like a pine nut.) I stuff the seed in the hole, cover it over with dirt and pat it down. A stalk immediately starts growing out of the ground and I jump onto it as it goes by. The stalk’s growing fast and since I hitched a ride so early, the plant’s doing the climbing for me.

I streak past the nearby buildings and head into the clouds. Immediately a shirtless, ape-like giant with a long beard comes loping toward me, about 100 feet away. I’m preparing to do something violent and decisive to make absolutely certain that I nail Task of the Year, but excitement gets the best of me. The scene collapses into a false awakening back in my bedroom.

I need to use the bathroom, so I get out of bed, head in there, and start peeing. My aim is terrible and I keep hitting the seat, the floor, the tank, everything but what I’m aiming at. This really frustrates me and I assume that I must be super tired.

Just then I notice a strange, robotic laundry machine sloshing water onto the floor. Its label indicates that it’s some kind of diaper-washing contraption. Our kids barely use any diapers these days so I wonder why we have it and why it’s here flooding our bathroom.

My 2-year-old son R walks into the room, followed soon after by a sleepy-looking Wife. Her hair is standing up in all kinds of crazy directions, including one nearly two-foot spike that’s going straight up. “Your hair is pretty awesome right now,” I tell her. She giggles and checks herself out in the mirror. We have a good laugh about this until the dream ends.

February 25th, 2014

Mantra: あの草原に行きたい (I want to go to that field) 夢を見ることを分かってます (I will realize I'm dreaming)

Playing music as I tried MILD did not work out. I woke up around 2:30 am and tried it. Finally turned it off around 4 am. It kept my mind so aware, I couldn't fall asleep at all. I was up until around 5am and started dozing off around then.

5am lucid

While trying to fall asleep, I thought of moving to the couch to see if it would help. As I dozed off, I dreamed I had moved to the couch and was paralyzed. I remember seeing the TV off in front of me and feeling one of the blankets I use on the couch over me. I was in an upright position, slouched. I thought, I need to get unparalyzed and into bed, I don't want to fall asleep out here. Then I realized I am already in bed. I didn't like the feeling of being paralyzed so woke myself up.

Sleeping on my back triggered the paralysis. I rarely sleep on my back, but tried it to see if I would fall asleep.

Night of February 24, 2014. Monday.



This seemingly night-long dream sequence keeps repeating at about four different levels. They consist of different ideas but flow in a seemingly important established “system”. Dreaming of a consistent repeating system (often related to a precise physical position you need to be in - or series of positions), “adjusting” to it, and moving through it again, is a fairly common type of dream since earliest memory, though I have never heard anyone else talk about it much. Sometimes it is blissful, other times a bit irritating and repetitive. Sometimes it relates to supposedly going into the “exact same dream” again from where you left off as long as several years ago. It even seems to have something to do with certain folds of the blanket (at certain locations) at times.

The main aspects here…I am trying to mentally emboss a design on the side of the wardrobe. I believe there are several false awakenings. It is like two somewhat oval emblems side by side that have different languages or some such. There is some sort of exotic writing on each, but both different. The one on the right does have something that vaguely resembles a fancy cursive “W”, though, with other smaller patterns. I guess it looks a bit like two different car logos jammed incongruously together.

Also, at times, I am trying to mentally work out the alteration of a waveform and keeping its exact same musical qualities no matter how the tempo is altered (there is software that does this but most is very unsatisfactory - adding annoying and obvious artifacts and obvious “stretching” nuances, especially with drum tracks). It is something like changing the tempo from 115 bpm to 70 bpm and working out the proportion downward by dividing the original by 12 (based on the 12 notes in one octave), in the formula (in this case only) being 70/115 = ?/12, which would supposedly indicate moving 7.3 half-tones (in a granular construct) down to keep the nuances exact. I have not tested this yet, so do not know if it is a viable idea - I have done similar work quite often before, but went by ear mostly. It does not sound very viable - it would be more along the lines of distance from source pitch by percentage, as tempo is not directly related to frequency (in Hz). I know the old sampler keyboards from many years back simply changed the speed of the wave sound, though (both faster and slower, for the entire pitch range), but this was too artificial-sounding (to the point of absurdity - but a nice useless toy for some “musicians”, I guess) to be of much use.

Also, with other several false awakenings, I am mentally creating some sort of “wind tunnel” through the middle of the bed, about a foot up. This has something to do with getting rid of my bad cold (I have not had much of a cold or flu in years - regardless of all the foreign backpackers coming and going to the illegal “hotels” on our street - and did not even feel the “entry” of this one as I usually do). It will supposedly work by sucking up aspects of the virus and pull them into a different dimension.

Through all of this, I am doing some sort of horizontal “slow-motion dance” over an hour or two, whereby my body needs to be in exact positions to maintain the work I am supposedly doing (related to the other three imaginary scenes). I think I am doing this in real life a few times, other times it is only from within my dream.

So two nights in a row for lucids, two last night. They haven't lasted longer than a few seconds for the last two nights. Guess I need to go back to stabilizing more before I get moving in the dream. I had 5 dreams I remembered clearly but only annotating the lucids on here.

Pre bed - 3mg Melatonin, 500 mg Valerian at 10pm
WBTB - 2mg G, 250mg C, 250mg Val, .3 mg Melatonin. 4am. (usually do this earlier but alarm didn't go off)

1. In a grocery store at a red box. I was trying one of my CC that has been acting up lately (worn out strip) and it wouldn't take it. I ran it over and over again. A couple got behind me in line and this added to my frustration. I looked for my other CC but I couldn't find it in my wallet. I did find another card but it was probably for a grocery store to get discounts. I got out of line frustrated. I turned around and got ready to walk out. I was at the end of all of the check out lines and reached in my pocket to get my keys. I pulled them out and half were missing. This frustration led me to do a RC and I found I had 6 fingers. LUCID: I immediately thought of dog biscuit TOTM and began to walk and whirled out of the dream. This is probably my shortest lucid to date.

2. I was lying in bed sleeping and heard the TV. I thought maybe I was dreaming since the TV wasn't on when I went to bed. This may have been a FA WILD but I am not sure. I had a couple of dreams after the last lucid before this one. Anyways my eyes seemed like they were glued shut or I was just so very tired. I finally managed to get them open and I was in a bedroom. I looked at my hand and saw five fingers, but I wasn't really convinced. I struggled with my covers a lot and then finally managed to get out of bed. I looked at my hand again and thought I saw a faint 6th finger. This was not my bedroom but a bedroom I had at my dads house when I was in high school. No bells went off yet though. I went to the window and looked out. I saw trees and a street beyond them, it was very peaceful outside and still dark out. I tried to look at my hands again and again a faint 6th finger but it was still dark in the room. I walked to the bedroom door to the light switch and on the way there I pinched myself under the arm. Didn't feel anything, but still not convinced. I then turned on the light switch and it didn't work. I looked and there were several different plates. I switched another on and the lights came on. I looked at my fingers now and had seven on one hand. I checked the other and had 7 as well. Lucid: I thought of going downstairs and getting a dog biscuit, again I immediately spun out. Not sure what is going on lately. Guess I need to work on stabilizing a little more once becoming lucid and I am a little calmer.

February 23, 2014

3:33 am non-lucid

I had a dream that I went to Japanese camp to teach, but when I got there together with my husband who was dropping me off, I was having second thoughts. I didn't want to be away from my husband for 2 weeks, no cell phone contact. So I had to confront my employers, who knew me since I went to Japanese camp as a teen. There was a Chinese male and a white female. Went to the back room offices to talk. At first small talk, but the Chinese man could tell something was wrong. I hugged him at one point since it's been a while since I've seen him. When I mentioned how I didn't think this was going to work, he said not all marriages work out. Then I said hold up, no, I'm talking about the job. We were confused over the word pre-meditated, or a word similar to that, which caused the misunderstanding. The word's definition in the dream eluded to something not working out, not the definition in waking life. He told me to reconsider working there and how it is only two weeks and my Japanese would improve a lot.

The lighting was very dim, like nighttime throughout the dream. I remember going out and reminiscing over the camp. Then I went over to a bunch of children's books that were about mythical native American or Inuit creatures in the snow. Theme of heritage, culture being passed down. I read one of the books, which had a theme of pride in one's culture. The book had a few foreign words in it, but not in Japanese. It could've been a book about the same content, but in Japanese, yet it wasn't. I didn't understand why.

Before I confronted my employers, there was another worker in the dream who when found out about the cell phone rule, also felt she couldn't do that. She was short, I think her hair was pulled back, dark hair. Not a language employee, instead another kind of staff. Her face kind of resembled my piano instructor's. She was encouraged to speak up after hearing that I wanted to and has a husband too. She's older than me.

I remembering arguing to the Chinese man that if only my husband could work that summer too, but couldn't because of his job, implying that he should hire him and pay him to solve things.

When contemplating, I was leaning my head on a wall or pole.

I was having second thoughts before we even left to go to the camp, which is states away, but still decided to drive there with my husband.

I felt sad to be conflicted. Loved Japanese camp so much, but had to choose between keeping my marriage strong (which could end up fine even if I did work at the camp) or working at a place I loved and grew from. Reminiscent, though setting not at all like the actual camp, as usual in dreams.

The white lady resembled my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) instructor, who is pregnant in waking life and pregnant in the dream. Dream was in English and non-lucid.

I woke up with a song from Animal Crossing: New Leaf playing in my head. I immediately realized I had a dream when I woke up, wanted to record it and jumped to my dream journal.

Time after writing down this dream: 4:01am.

Mantra: 夢を見ることを分かっています (I will realize I'm dreaming) 野原に風で空を飛びたい (I will fly in a field using the wind)

I had asked my husband if he has had a flying dream before, and he said yes, many times. He recalled one in which he was being caught up by the wind in a field and flying really high. So I imagined using that method to fly.

4:07 am Haven't fallen asleep
4:15 am Still not asleep
4:40 am Still not asleep

6:02 am

Dream 1 MILD

I realize that I am dreaming and check through the thumb/palm RC. I am so excited to confirm my thoughts that I am dreaming by seeing my thumb go through my palm. I try to jump so that I can levitate/fly, excited that I am lucid dreaming, afraid to be short on time. The gravity is definitely not normal and I kind of float through the air as I jump, but I don't exactly get far off of the ground. This is probably because I'm inside a building.

Before I become lucid, my dream is set in my apartment at night and I feel there has been an intruder. The intruder is female and I could hear her have a phone call in Spanish and sing from my bed. My husband and I are both in the bed and I try to alert him but he doesn't really think there's any threat and just goes back to sleep. I am extremely afraid and I think at some point my husband does leave the bed and is harmed, but the scenario resets itself. I eventually realize I am dreaming and next to my bed practice jumping.

The dream is in English and was induced with MILD. Along with saying my mantas about flying, I also was a little paranoid about an intruder, though I tried to push the thought away.

Dream 2 non-lucid

I was heading towards a babysitting job for a Japanese family. When I met the mother, she talked to me in Japanese and I replied in Japanese, though I didn't remember any of the dialogue. She lived in an apartment.

I remember walking down the hall to the apartment and seeing her neighbors, who aren't Japanese. Her neighbors were intimate and I remember it being embarrassing to witness, but I don't remember what happened. I think their bathroom was in the hall and one was using the toilet, yet with no shame of being in public and still smiling and waving.

This was non-lucid.

I think I might've woken up in between the 1st and 2nd dream, or if not consciously thought in between the dreams that I need to write down my lucid dream before I forget, but instead moved onto a 2nd dream.

Time after writing down these dreams: 6:22am

This dream starts off in a cave. The earth is dark brown. There is lava pouring out of holes in the walls, and there are puddles of it about every 10 feet. The cave isn't open; it's more of an underground tunnel. It seems to go on forever in front of me and behind me. I had no idea why I was there. Then I was in a pharmacy. (I work in a pharmacy in real life, but this one wasn't anything like the pharmacy I work in). This pharmacy didn't get medication from any manufacturer, we made them in the pharmacy itself using various roots and leaves. The pharmacy was built like this: only one floor; think of a small, old schoolhouse, except it has a flat roof; the whole front side is made of glass and there is a sliding glass door; the walls are made of small, brown bricks, the the inside walls are flat and white; after walking in, there is a white table to the left just big enough for two people to sit across from each other (probably for consultations); there is a counter half way into the pharmacy that starts from the left wall and runs to the right wall until there is only enough space for people to walk in and out of the work area; the back wall was made up of, I'd say, about eight rows by twelve columns of brown baskets that were separated by the same, white material as the wall, into cubby-like spaces (if you've ever seen Spirited Away, it was similar to the way the Boiler Man organized his herbs and spices); there were two computers near the rear, left corner of the work area, and one computer on the counter. I was sitting at a computer in the corner typing, but there was nothing on the screen. Then a man and his boy sat at the one to the left of me. I wondered how he got back there and why he was there with his son. I said something philosophical, but I didn't get a response from him. Then I tried to say something funny, but he still didn't say anything. Then there was a lady who wanted help at the counter behind me. She had hair like Bozo the Clown, but it was grey instead red. There were streaks of black in it as well. She was very old. I'd say about 60 or 70. She also had a severe case of kyphosis (hunchback) and a wide frown. She was yelling and demanded that I gave her a sheet of paper hanging on the side wall. I looked up and there was a stack of papers nailed to the wall. I looked closer at them and noticed that they were blank prescriptions already signed by the physician. I told her that there is no way we can give her one because she will use it to write a false prescription. I turn back around to work on what I was working on on my computer, but then I heard my mom, the woman, and a doctor talking to the woman. They had one of the sheets of paper and were helping the woman write a false prescription. I couldn't believe my eyes. The next thing I knew, I was in a dorm room with two of my friends. Let's call them Bob and Jim. The place we were in was a massive, two story hotel/dormitory. The front side of it was made entirely of glass, and there was a small door on the bottom left of the building. The inside was like a log cabin, but it wasn't made of whole, round logs; they were cut and the walls and floors were flat. Straight ahead after entering there was an activity room that had a pool table in it, and to the right of the entrance against the wall was an office room. The office room was walled in, but from the waist up was an area of glass, so you could see in. Just beyond the office was a hall way that went deep into the dormitory with doors on either side of it. The room Bob, Jim, and I were in was the last on the left. I knew in my head that we were in a dorm room, but it looked like a stereotypical hotel room. There was one bed and a TV in front of it. The carpet was magenta mixed with dark blue and green. Yaknow, stereotypical hotel room. Bob had his backpack and I knew that he had some form of recreational drugs in it. We left the room and went to the activity room. Bob put his backpack on the pool table, and started to roll a joint. Then we look up and saw two men walk into the building. I personally knew they weren't cops, but Bob was worried and started to gather his things to go back to the room. Jim was like, okay. Then a middle-aged woman entered the room. I then realized that I had no pants on. I started to look for some pants and thought there would be some on the pool table, but it wasn't a pool table anymore, it was a very tall, normal table. The table's surface was up to my chest instead of my hip. I frantically reached on top of the table for pants. I found a pair, but they were shaped as if someone was wearing them. Bob said that they were his, took them, then threw me a pair of big, baggy, green jeans. I thought they were odd because the pockets were just below my knees... not that they were slacking, but that's just where the pockets were placed on the pants. Bob had already left and was probably in the room, but Jim and I stayed behind for a little bit because there was a group of four terribly gothic girls who were playing metal music. It was very simple, but the sound quality was legit, so I stayed until they were done. One of the girls said that I make her sound like a recording she made for her friend on FarmVille. I never played that game before, so I just said, "Oh," and walked on. I sat down and leaned my back up against a wall in the hall next to a large painting. I don't know what the painting was of, but there was a lot of blue, green, and white. Maybe a landscape? Anyhow, I realized that I was wearing earbud headphones and I was listening to a podcast. It was of my friends Jim and Bob talking about me realizing that I'm dreaming and if I will be able to. I didn't think anything of it. Anyhow, when I stand up, next thing I know is I'm in a banquet hall for martial arts. I was wearing a white tae kwon do uniform and I had a yellow belt. Bob had a black and a red belt on. Both belts he was wearing were slanted, but at different angles, so they made an X. Jim was sitting at our table. There were many rows of rectangular, brown tables. The ones you'd see at a family reunion. The one next to ours was a large, circle table. There were many karate people sitting at it. The space between our table and theirs was enough for me to squeeze through, but instead of walking through them, I lifted myself up between them like I would when I was a kid. I did a karate kick and the people at the round table laughed. The next thing I knew I was outside. I was hearing the earbud headphones I had on earlier and was listening to the same podcast... the one of which Bob and Jim were talking about me realizing I was dreaming. I still don't know why I didn't question it, but meh. I was hiking outdoors in a forest-like area. There were large trees on either side of me, and a dirt path in front of me. I walked on the path for awhile and got to a small incline. It was pretty steep, but only a few feet up, so I crawled up it. When I got to the top, the scenery around me changed. Instead of being surrounded by trees, there was a space on both sides of me that was free of trees. It was as if something had drawn a line on a map through the trees and they were gone on that strip of land. I passed it and the trees continued again. The podcast I was listening to changed from Bob and Jim talking to the two guys from Radiolab on NPR. They were talking about someone muscular who was on the run. I knew it couldn't be me because I'm not very muscular. Apparently he stole a ton of money. So, I get to another incline and just beyond it I get to a green truck/SUV. It was a mix between the pick-up truck and SUV. There was also a very large tree to the right of it, and just behind that, a police car was poking out. I was afraid of it because I thought the police officer would think I was the guilty one because I was just walking alone. I approached the cop car and it became another green SUV/truck. The were no more trees near me. I then saw a gas station and a street intersection. I crossed one street to get to the gas station. Parked there was a semi truck facing me. Next to it was another green SUV/truck. Then, another green SUV/truck pulled up to my side and flashed its lights at the semi-truck. The semi-truck slowly pulled forward, I looked up, and I opened my eyes. I was in my room, but it was still pitch black. I remembered the dreams that I just had and wondered why I never did a reality check. I wanted to make a habit out of doing them so I'd do them in my dreams, so I plugged my nose and breathed in. That's right, I breathed in. I had no problem breathing, even when my nose was plugged, and this blew my mind. I realized I had a false awakening. As soon as I put my hand back down, extremely intense vibrations waved throughout my body. My entire body was vibrating, but there was also a concentration of vibrations that pulsed up and down my body. Wherever the concentration of vibrations went in my body felt overwhelmingly good. I felt pure joy, relaxation, happiness, and pretty much every positive emotion and physical feeling. I kept blinking. Eventually, my vision of pitch-blackness started to rip in two. It was as if someone held a black piece of construction paper in front of my eyes and ripped it slowly. Behind it I saw my room, slightly lit from the morning sun.

Was being bombarded by thousands of little black birds. I was at my house's backyard hiding under a table. Then after the fourth round of diving I ran for my house. The bird's instantly left and I saw my mom and told her to check out the dogs in the backyard. I told her that Bella (one of my dogs) was going to do a cool jumping trick. Bella jumped, but remained suspended in the air. At that point I said, no way is this a dream? So I nose-pinched and sure enough it was!
"Mom, I'm dreaming!"
"Good for you!"
I went outside and started losing lucidity, but with rubbing my hands it took me about 30 seconds to stabilize.
My backyard was the exact same as it is currently. I was amazed. However, my neighbors places were completely different. One neighbor's house was actually a sheer drop down to the ocean when a gigantic submarine lay on shore and buried under part of the cliff.
After looking around I decided to use some powers. I tried too hard at first, scrunching the muscles in my hand, but then after trying more softly, I could manipulate whatever I wanted.
I decided not to summon anyone or fly because now that I was lucid, I wanted to teach myself how to make myself lucid dream more often and then start doing tons of fun stuff.
However, I woke up, but in my living room at home that I was currently many many miles away from. False awakening, but I didn't catch it... Now I know to reality check whenever and wherever I wake up.

Morning of February 22, 2014. Saturday.



This is a more positive variant on the recurring King Street dreams (which I have had off and on for over twenty years) where I often owe a lot of back rent and am wandering about at different times through a former or present room. There have been many variations.

I end up looking around in the south-most apartment on the east side of the big boarding house. It does not seem to be the place I had lived at recently (and I never had that particular apartment in real life). There is not that much activity or movement from other potential tenants. Later on, there is a first-time (I think) variation in this type of dream. The landlady comes up and says I can have that particular room and I will actually be paid to live there. This seems a bit unusual, but I guess that is how it will then be (in my dream). I still believe that I should be paying her, though.

Apparently, I had actually been living in the middle room (as I had once in real life) on the east side of the building, before wandering off and living elsewhere (unknown) or being homeless for six months or less, I think. Someone else, however, had been living there for a few weeks though my belongings were all still in the room exactly as I had left them.

My belongings, other than a few clothes, turn out to be a large number of mostly hardcover science fiction books (including Isaac Asimov’s “Foundation”) and 33 rpm record albums, mostly in larger cardboard boxes. As I move them to my new living location, a couple others help, and the other tenant (about nineteen and likely a local university student) seems somewhat relieved that he has more space for his own possessions.

Then comes the somewhat disjointed and more unusual part of my dream. For some reason, I put on the video of Rick Springfield’s “Speak to the Sky” (a song I played often in my youth - yet did not know he was Australian and from Sydney). This is not like the one I actually have.

It is not any real video, though, and it does not even look like him. He plays an acoustic guitar (with a large mic and amp, I think) in front of a small audience on a mostly featureless and inconsequential stage. There is a strong focus on some sort of eerie buzzing effect on one of the guitar strings every two measures or so - probably the low E string. He supposedly makes this sound by placing a stick just close enough to the string to cause the additional sound each time. I suppose I should be wondering how he is able to play the guitar with both hands and hold the stick at the same time. I do not question this obvious impossibility, though. At times, it looks like an ordinary board from the outer wall of a wooden house.

(In afterthought, this may be some sort of play on George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” and possibly also with the saying “Speak softly and carry a big stick”). From there, not much happens other than a bit of idle conversation and look around at my supposed large record collection, spread out over about seven or more boxes as well as the same for the books. “Speak to the Sky” has appeared (or rather played) in my dreams more than other songs, I would say.

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Dream
Nightmare
False Awakening
Notes

Last night was strange. I think I had a false awakening and was close to lucidity before that. I had plenty of dreams but the important one was early in the night.

I was standing on train tracks in a snowy area. There was a train stopped on the tracks to mi right. At first, I thought I was seeing myself in third person but I discovered it was a clone or something of me. He had camera equipment and was yelling "It's not gonna happen!" to a group of people. I knew they were getting ready to film me while I was lucid. I realized this but didn't think it was true because my clone kept saying "you're awake! Look!" My view changed and I was staying at the TV in my GF's room, laying in bed. The vision was cloudy and the TV was off. I then re-appeared in my 'dream'. I did a reality check: Looked at my hands. At first, it was difficult but I managed to do it. My hands looked stockier and bigger than usual and were a dark color, as if they were burned or scorched. I kept looking at my hands but my clone kept saying "You can't do it, you're already awake! You're thinking this!" I was still looking at my hands when the world around me started shaking uncontrollably until I woke up.

In my next dream, I was in my room looking down at my rat, Juanita. She was out of her cage, under my chair. I noticed something red in her left eye and when she turned her face, her eye had been torn off. She was oozing blood and I suspected one of the other rats did it. I yelled something and ended up waking up, agitated.

This morning my husband woke me up to say goodbye before going to work. I got up and brushed my teeth (don't like the bad taste) then went back to bed. Like usual, before falling asleep I thought about the possibility of an intruder and worried I'd have another intruder, false-awakening, paralysis dream in which I knew I was awake.

I fell asleep with my cat on the bed and the cat was still sleeping with me in the dream. I remember seeing my window, which has brown curtains, and knowing that I was still sleeping. I could feel myself paralyzed in bed and wanted to wake up. At this point I was half paralyzed, as I was lifting up my arm, stretched out towards the window. In my thinking in the dream, I was half awake, but in reality it was all a dream and my real body outside of the dream wasn't moving at all. I thought if only I can move enough, then I'll fully wake up. Finally, I struggle off the bed and onto the floor, then hear a tune very audibly. It was unfamiliar to me. A few seconds later I wake up. When I wake up, I wonder if the tune was coming from outside the dream or fabricated in the dream (often I rely on cues from reality to help me wake up from false awakening dreams, like the radio or an alarm, but I didn't this time) and realized it was in the dream. I knew I didn't know the tune, but I wondered if it was the song from Helix that my dad sent me as a ringtone recently. It wasn't perfectly like it, but it reminded me of it. Now I don't remember how the tune goes. This is the first time that this particular reoccuring dream has had a tune in it.

This was all with the knowledge in my dream that this same scenario happens all the time, and when it happens an intruder will come or my husband will come home early. I want to wake up so badly because I don't want to face the intruder. This time I didn't face him at all. My last encounter with the intruder I was trying to block him from opening up the door and suddenly woke up (I wasn't aware I was dreaming in this instance). I've also seen him in person in the dream, an Asian man (my husband is Japanese), but looks nothing like my husband. But it didn't seem like he is going to hurt me.

Usually, I'm really scared of this dream happening. But now I want to face it and talk to the intruder. So I hope to post more dream journals here and track my progress on this particular dream.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #187: The Hybrid

I have a false awakening in a strange bedroom that I think is some kind of condominium. Wife is here along with my two young kids E and R. I wonder whether I can go back to sleep and try to have a lucid dream but then realize that I’m having one right now.

I charge toward the window but feel someone short grab onto my arm. “Who is that?” I ask, looking down to find my 2-year-old son R clutching me. “It’s [R], Daddy. I want to go with you. Daddy, let me go with you!” For a moment I consider it, but once I think about my Task of the Year goal (turning into a fish-man and acting out The Little Mermaid), I decide no way. I’m way too nervous about bringing one of my kids’ DCs into the ocean.

R’s grip slips off of me as I phase through the window. I feel a little guilty for a moment, but I remind myself that this isn’t really him. I’m wound up in my backyard during what looks like mid-morning. I jump up into the air, imagining that there will be an ocean where my eastern neighbor’s yard ought to be. But when I get up there, it still looks like waking life.

I have some momentary flight trouble, but I psych myself up with a few phrases until things are going the way I want them to. I fly west for a bit, slowly turning southward and expecting to see water until… I see the ocean just ahead of me!

I pop up into the air and then plunge straight downward into the water, happily swimming about beneath the waves. The water’s darker than I’d like, but I try not to get too nervous or worked about this. I imagine my lower body turning into that of a fish, swim around that way for a bit, then look down to check my handiwork. It’s close, but not quite right… each leg is still there but all scaly like a fish’s body with a fin on the end.

I look away again, swim around a bit more, trying to make it all feel natural. I check again and it’s looking better, just about right, but now I’m feeling paranoid about my breathing. I feel like I can’t breathe underwater and need to surface. Panicked that something is wrong with my breathing in waking life, I push for the surface and fall into the void. I keep doing repetitive swimming motions, though, trying to hold onto the dream. After a while of this, I wonder if I’m making swimming motions in bed. This finally transitions me into...

… a false awakening where I’m lying in a large bed next to Wife. The room’s not my own, though. I recognize this as the condominium from the beginning of the dream, and realize that I’m still dreaming. I roll over to Wife’s side of the bed and start getting frisky. She murmurs sleepily but when I tell her that “this is all a dream”, she becomes more engaged. We make out for a little bit, but the dream hits the void.

After a moment, though, there’s a transition into an office environment. Wife’s still here with me so we continue making out.

Spoiler for Sexytime:

I notice one of the office workers, an attractive Hispanic woman in her late 20s, holding a stack of papers and talking to another employee. I tell the woman that she wants to join us and she responds, "Okay, good idea," and begins to undress while still sort of continuing to work. I guess my attention wanders, though, because after a moment she walks off to do some work thing, still partially undressed.

After that Wife and I enjoy some sexytime before…

… the dream ends.