memorable

Dream
Lucidity
Notes

I accidentally deleted this dream along with countless others a few days ago. I'm rewriting this as best as I can remember.

I was in some sort of apartment complex, which reminded me of the one I live in. I saw 3 kids playing, two boys and a girl. They were blue and looked like aliens. Because they looked like aliens, I tried shooting them. I stopped and wondered why there are aliens in the apartment complex. I counted my fingers and due to my hand having more than 5 fingers, I became lucid.
I felt happy and thought of what to do. My lucidity started to fade and I said "Don't wake me up yet!", which made my lucidity increase. I said "Now I fly" and started to hover and rise. I went through the roof of a building and hovered above the roof of the building I was outside of. Further out, I could see tall apartments like the ones in Venezuela. I put my arms out like superman and tried to fly to a roof but instead of flying towards it, I flew away from it, backwards. I wondered if I had read anything on this and how to fix it, but couldn't think of anything. Impulsively, I moved my legs as if I was swimming but it didn't work. I landed on a roof, still looking at my target. My lucidity must have started to fade again because I yelled "Increase Lucidity!" It worked a little so I yelled "Increase Lucidity to Lucidity Max!" (cheesy I know) It made everything clear and it's the highest lucidity I've reached yet. I looked down and, being a little scared, I jumped down to a roof under me. I ran across rooftops, doing parkour. It felt so good to run and not get tired.
Once I reached another roof, I looked up at the sky, which was filled with grey clouds, as if it was going to rain. I wondered what it meant so I looked at a pile of mattresses that were next to me and asked "What does that sky represent?" I heard noise but no voices. I needed to try a human. I heard people talking behind me so I turned around and saw a group of girls talking on some grass near a tree. I hovered down to the grass and walked towards them. There was a girl laying on her stomach and I said "That girl sucks dick now" and a penis came out from the ground and she started sucking it! I laughed because it reminded me of that one pokemon. The other girls looked intrigued. I walked up to a chubby girl with dirty blonde hair and asked her "What does that sky represent?" We both looked back at the sky, which had a bit more sunlight and visible godrays. We looked back at each other and she told me "You need to have sex." I was surprised at the answer and told her "I can't; I won't. I've been good for 8 months," reminding myself of my purity streak. She laughed and responded "8 months? You wouldn't last 8 minutes under temptation." I thought about the answer and knew she was right. I got up and grabbed her shorts and pulled them down. She told me something about hurrying and I proceeded to have anal sex with her, which felt so good I slowly lost lucidity and woke up.

So far, this is my favorite Lucid dream

I haven't posted in a long time because of work.

I'm at my great-uncle's house when my grandfather shows up. We're hanging out and I'm feeling quite happy that he is visiting me. Suddenly, I say to him, "Hey, grandpa, why are you here? You're dead."
He casually replies, "'They' said I come back down here for a while."
...Who is 'they'?
Later, I'm trying to make him something to eat, but he tells me that it's time for him to go. The moment he leaves, I wake up and the dream is forgotten until it comes back in a flash hours later.

I do believe my grandfather visited me. Besides the fact that we were at his brother's house, something about the dream was...different. It was similar to the way my dream with my great-grandpa was--he leaves, I immediately wake up, and the dream comes back in a flash hours later.

I was trying to convince some people that "A ladybug can feed us!" I was pointing to a particular ladybug which flew and landed on my shoulder and started walking around me on my neck. When the ladybug was on the back of my neck, I heard the ladybug meow twice, and I told everyone that the meow was adorable. Then the ladybug moved from my neck to the lower part of the back of my head and began flapping, lifting me up above the shore of a lake, and it was exhilarating, and I thought that it has been a long time since I flew in a dream, but I woke up almost immediately.

Dream Notes: after the dream, I found: The name ladybug has its roots in the middle ages, when it was dedicated to the Virgin Mary and called the beetle of our lady. I interpreted that "feed" as "help" but after having found out that ladybugs had protected crops by eating bugs that eat the crops, the word "feed" makes sense, and I thought this was really neat, because my waking consciousness did not possess this information about the role of ladybugs in protecting crops, yet my dreaming self knew to use the precise word.

May, 2014

I was in Concord, and it was getting late. I could not get back home on my bike before dark. I went to a place that looked like an airport office to ask for help. "Can you help me get back home." The woman behind the desk shuffled some papers and said, "It says here you're from the U.K." Just then, an angry man came up and told her that she shouldn't help me. I became mad and told him, "This is my dream. Get out of my dream!' Then he and the whole dream dissolved. There was a woman talking a lot, and I kissed her, but she did not respond, and I left. I was in a room observing through the glass a creature with a huge head and a very tiny body, who was struggling to move around. I felt sorry for the creature, and asked "Who is that?" And I heard someone say, "That's you."

Dream note: I interpreted Concord not as the town in Massachusetts to which I have sometimes biked but rather a pun from my psyche on the word "Conquered." The play on words I felt was about trying to get out of being conquered by despair, fear, a sense of resignation, or other negative emotions. I took heart in hearing that I was from the U.K. because, again, I knew that this was not referring to the political state, but was referring to a state of being, of a united mind, body, soul and spirit. The dream suggested that in life I was trying to get back to that state but was still heavily lopsided toward the mind.

dream archive 11/11

I went into the yard of my childhood home in Virginia. It was a summer night, and the crickets were chirping loudly. My beech tree was there, and beside it, in the center of the yard was a new young tree. I realized I was dreaming and raised my hands to look at them, but then quickly thought, 'None of that Carlos Castaneda shit!' I was nervous as I remembered the dream of "Merry Christmas in March" that had taken place here, and I sensed something intense was going to happen again. I thought I saw my grandfather (who had become in my mind a metaphor for God) drive by, but his profile that I saw in the dimly lit car was a profile of long ago, and he didn't stop.

Finally, I mustered the nerve to look in the house. I saw a blue bed and knew at once there had been extensive redecorating. I knocked at the door, and a little boy answered. I asked if this was the house of Bernardo (who had bought the house), and he said no. He turned to the right to indicate his dad was there absorbed in the TV. I explained that I grew up in the house and wanted to see it, and he let me in.

There were three children in an interior that was very different. Many material things made for a tight squeeze, but I knew that to the children it was big. One asked me if I had lived in many places since I'd lived there. "God, yes, many!" I told them that they probably would too when they went to college, and the little boy turned away with a nervous smile as if contemplating the prospect and said, "Yeah, we don't want to be tied down by it (the house)." I said, "Still, you'll dream with it always…it will be a setting…in fact, I am visiting you in a dream…." A wave of emotion suddenly engulfed me, and, speaking to all three said "to tell you I love you!" I embraced them and gave the little girl a small white heart with a transmitter / receiver (not for radio but love frequencies), and awoke while still just inside the house's door.

dream archive, 2/14/89

Wow...I had such a shock last night. It came in so unexpectedly, I didn't know what to think!

Okay, so last night I woke up around 4:30. Not from a dream, or lucid dream, but I just woke up from normal sleep.
I was lying there and suddenly I head this buzzing noise ringing in my ears. It became louder. Also, you know when you're on a plane and you can hear the steady humming of the engines? Well strangely enough, that's what I heard as well. The two sounds combined made it incredibly loud, and I was pretty confused at what was going on.
Then, I felt this sensation come over me, like all my limbs suddenly held this tension in them. In an instant, I completely understood ...no no no no! Sleep paralysis! :O

I attempt to gently move my arm, but as I do, I feel this incredible force push down onto it, making it feel as though it is literally super-glued to the bed. The sensation was so strange and unreal to me that I let my inner fear take over a little. I knew there was no reason to be scared, as it was all just a natural thing, but I could help but feel a little panic settle in.
After about 30 seconds to a minute, my limbs suddenly released all that tension and were free to move again. The buzzing had gone, and I was fine after that!

I knew that I would probably have to experience SP sometime sooner or later if I continued to do lucid dreams, and I guess that last night was one of those moments! I'm kind of glad that it happened though, now I know how it feels like and I don't have to worry about it too much again.

So yeah, this was my first Dream Journal entry, I hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to post any comments. (:

Happy lucid dreaming!
~TheDreamCloud

Running across a field toward Faneuil Hall, Boston, I heard someone calling my name, "Mario, Mario!" I was puzzled, because I looked around and did not see anyone. Then I noticed someone behind me, a black man who appeared very cheerful, happy, and funny. He asked me to follow him and set off running. I followed, running.

A flock of birds flew to him, and he joined them, becoming a bird, all of them flapping their wings quickly, flying fast. Though I was freaked, I continued following, and I heard him say, "The only sin you ever committed was when this…" and then I saw a pointed, thin, phallic-like arrow launched into the sky and quickly drop "…didn't go as high as this…" Then I saw an arrow that traveled in a hemispheric path, exploding beautifully with sparks and stars. "Your sins are forgiven through our Lord, Jesus Christ." At the end of the road, in the sky, was Christ Shining, with his arms outstretched to me.

dream archive 4/22/87

.../It's my grandparent's old house. We are on the roof with my older brother. I see how it was modified when our mother came to visit my father's family. I feel sad for her because of I realize they didn't treat her well. Now I see her in front of the left side of the roof, although it doesn't make sense with the real structure of the house. She looks like one of her pictures in black and white when she was a teenager and had a very long hair. She feels sorrow and I ask my brother to tell her not to feel that way because of I know she was strong. We get to the first floor. It's night all of a sudden. There's a bad guy who's my brother's friend. He climbs the walls and gets into the room through some open sides that appear in the walls. He gets into my room of my university times in another city. I follow him. There's my kid's double bunk bed. We have to climb on the side of it in order to reach the floor. He checks everything. I don't like it. Some coins fall from the pocket of my pants which lay on a chair. I give the money to him at the end. Then he goes downstairs through the same hole in the wall. There I see he takes a bucket toy. I tell him to let it because of it's like taking something that will be noticed. He lets it. I find my brother is in the kitchen/...

.../There's something with my unfriendly aunt and my fellow cousin but I just remember they both were upset/...

* As far as I can remember, it's the first time I saw my mom in a dream. Although I don't think it's a real memory of her.

Did Sensei's "combo breaker" (1: forget your body, 2: affirmations of awesomeness as a lucid dreamer, 3: MILD-like visualisations) meditation earlier in the evening but only got through affirmations before getting interrupted by a)

23:32 bedtime, no alcohol today

Set strong intention to remember dreams and especially to wake up after every dream.
It worked, probably 5-6 or even more wakings during the night

00:00 Tuesday 2014-06-17

04:19

+ trying to get to the water fountain people are walking across my path interfering with my forwards progress, there's a group of guys at work after meeting, nearby there's wall full of deserts in in big glasses with stems (like giant sherry snifters) each 8-10 inches across

4 or 5 shelves 4 meters long containing deserts in these glasses, they're free, I go for a bowl of chocolate, a colleague goes for the same one in addition to something else and I shoulder him aside and say "this is mine, don't take all the good ones." They make a comment/joke about a guy who used a spoon, licked it, and put it back in the bowl on the shelf.

+ I was called into a board meeting asked to report my experience working at a place in Europe, I look at a map and point out features on the map, I say "my work was more on the Italian side of the border", I see the map and the features of water and land masses, they form a pattern like the hands of a clock, I was trying to tell the location that I was talking about as a point on this clock. My place was 2-3 o-clock. I didn't like going to these board meetings. They worked in the German language speaking area because it was the least expensive.

+ a man was deconstructing large construction cranes outside. "I know how to deconstruct my own cranes" the guy says. He was telling how he got rid of all the various parts, various different people would come and take away different parts, some things he took home, I could see how he neatly arranged all the parts.

+ Someone says "there are too many tiny tox's [dachshunds]," I say "Noooo! There's never enough tiny toxes!" I'm then inside a German-speaking worman's apartment, there's a big fat woman who's cooking something ("okroshka" I think [Russian cold summer soup]), there's another big fat woman sitting in the doorway, and on a stool next to her is an ENORMOUS cat which is a circle about 3-feet in diameter with a normal sized head in the middle (like this one but 2-x wider/taller at least:

the cat is hilarious it's so bizarre, and it says "meow!", I think the food they're preparing is for the dog, and the cat knows this and that the dog will eat the "okroshka" and the cat is really scared of the dog.

+ meeting with wife and some guy in a group, I "recognized" him (false memory), I don't know why they called me to this meeting because this guy knows French because he is French, I think about saying my standard line in French about how I studied French in school and forgot everything, but I don't say it, I shook his hand and think I've met him before.

06:57

+ crazy haired woman is introduced to me she's running for president along with her husband her last name is "Prebelshky". I'm sitting on a couch in a room, I see her walking across the room from right to left and go "whoa look at that hair," her hairdo is the shape of a mushroom and about 6-feet in diameter, it's amazingly huge. I try to say "pleased to meet you," but I have some trouble speaking so I have to repeat it. At first the big-haired-woman doesn't want to be introduced but then she comes and talks to me. I'm sitting down she's standing a few feet in front of me and as she approaches she makes 3 signs of the cross at super-human speed, her arm is almost a blur.

+ I arrive to a group sitting around a large table outside, there's no space initially, they're eating, the leader says "oh, hi! come sit down!", people scoot aside and I sit down at the table. The leader offers me some chardonnay, I say "yeah, sure, I'll have some." As I sit down some guy says "you have to continue your bulking, you can't stay under the control of your mother [so you can get the chicks]." (I visualize a guy sitting down at a table in a restaurant, he has a salad with a lot of tomatoes on it). I get a glass. Someone hands me a piece of food without a plate, I stick my hand out, and it drops into my hand, it's a piece of dark, crunch black bread. People are standing up and leaving now.

There is Al.Tim from L there, (he may have been leader) AT is very knowledgeable about medical things (true IWL), he starts talking about his knee, I say "as long as you're talking about knees, look at mine," I show him how my knee clicks as I fold and extend my lower leg, it clicks evenly about 10 times every time I move my leg, I feel this with my finger on my knee, he says "that's impossible," then he puts his finger on my knee (I feel it) and move my leg and feel the clicks, he's amazed, he says "that's some kind of a (blah blah blah some medical term)."

+ I'm looking at a newspaper it fills my vision, there is an article about shrapnel and how dangerous is it, Vietnamese workers must work with it and I think the bomb doesn't even have to explode, that the little shrapnel pieces can dig themselves into the skin killing the people who touch it. There's also the same problem working with broken egg shells.

+ I'm approaching a crazy cow logo place, a fortress that takes care of animals, someone was upset because one of their animals had gotten lost, outside in daytime. The place had a name (forgot it), "cowzelg?"

+ outdoor eating place, where a large group of central asian migrant workers were eating, there was a line waiting, as someone finished the next guy in line could take his place and eat. The food was displayed in a buffet style on high shelves above the sitting places. It's dusk/dark-ish, I notice a lot of chocolate covered donuts on plates. I was waiting for my turn, I think I could go right ahead, I saw a large chocolate cake on the 2nd story shelf, I was looking at that, someone says it was baked here, I imagine that these migrant workers are pretty good bakers because they have to live away from their families, so they bake, and they start cooking in the evening. Someone gives me a plate and serve myself up a big piece of the cake, I cut it and shlop the piece on my plate, it has a white insides.

09:26

+ nighttime in a house with my dad, I'm on the 2nd floor, I want to leave out a sliding glass window and fly down to my car which is parked on the street by the house. But my dad's there and I don't want to show him my flying ability so I go to another room with another sliding glass door out to a deck, I stand up on the balcony, I'm looking down to the street below, slightly concerned but I know I can fly so I step out into the air and glide across the street to the ground, it's a nice night scene. I'm rejoicing in the feeling of flying.

I'm walking through the town (daytime now) and I see some young people on the other side of a barrier playing some game, I climb to the top of the barrier, and look down and see a girl among the people, her hair and face are continually changing, every time I try to focus on her she looks different, I bring her up with me, I'm holding her and I kiss her, she's struggling against me, she doesn't want to, eventually she relaxes into it. I'm trying to maintain simultaneous focus on: 1) my dream body, 2) the fact that I'm dreaming, and 3) the girl and kissing her, in order to stabilise, but the dream "ends." (semi-lucid?)

+ hiding from robot, outside, near a doorway, I'm hiding to the side of the large entrance trying to avoid detection, so I can enter the building, the robot was looking for me, it sees me and I start shooting at it, then I find myself on a large open paved area.

+ in a large, steeply sloped auditorium, people are there, I think it would be much more efficient if cabbages were 50 pounds.

Around the auditorium, I look up and see a few rows above me a guy standing up in a shiny pin-striped suit with a matching pin-striped tall top-hat. I think I knew this guy and he didn't used to wear such suits. I think he's graduated. He and I are talking within a group of people.

+ sitting around a large dining table with a group of people, I'm waiting my turn for the holy water to come around so I can sprinkle myself with it

+ walking up a stairway, in a big house, I meet a group of girls sitting on the stairs, I have to climb over blankets and things to get to them, I ask where I can get a fresh towel, they show me where the towel dispenser is, it's a strange modernistic capsule-like device (watched Star Trek: Into Darkness IWL probably residue from the torpedoes) with multiple spring loaded parts that move aside to reveal the towels stacked inside. I proceed farther up the stairway and pass a small nook immediately off of the stairwell, I wonder "God, does someone sleep here? There's no room." (there's a little desk and work area). I get up to the top of the stairs and enter a multi-person small circular sleeping chamber, there are 3 beds arranged in a circle, 2 of them are claimed already and have yoga mats laid out on them, I see my spot and I think "Oh, God, I forgot my yoga mat."

I find myself back on the deck where I flew from, my dad and a big group of people are all standing around my body, I realize I must have OBE'd when I flew off the deck, so I "fly" around the people and swoop/plunge back into my body and then once back in my body I sit up and say "here I am!"

+ I'm eating a popsicle, but I finish it too soon, it's less than I think I had left. I need to drive to the border, there's a large truck and inside is a portable border guard immigration/visa processing station. I see inside and see a guy who quickly goes through the processing. I need to get everybody out, I wonder if I can convince the owner of the van to lend it to me so I can go get (my own visa?). My wife comes and is laughing, she says I took the van owner's popsicle (I think "ew, that's nasty, I ate someone else's popsicle?" That explains why there wasn't as much left as I thought), she gives me my actual popsicle and I finish it. I want my wife to ask the owner of the van/truck if I can take it. I don't know if I can drive it reasonably since it's so large.

09:43 13C in room, heater on setting I dial at 11:30, window open about an inch. Earplugs not all the way in, much more comfortable than previous night where they were all the way in. No remee.

Nap after work:

.../I'm with my little kid in front of a crossroad where an old woman who's dressed in tattered clothes, sits still. The place is surrounded by rocks, it looks like the entrance to a cavern without roof. I cannot see the sky from here. It's not possible to go through unless the creepy lady stands up. Then, I realize she's a witch and the purpose of the game is that my daughter has to talk to her asking for permission to go through. I ask my kid to speak to her. My girl hardly builds a sentence and asks the creepy woman to please let her pass. The woman reacts and stands up with very tedious movements. My kid notices something is left where the woman sat. It's a toy which reminds me a little Garfield's figure I had long ago. This one, looks like the combination of a serpent and that cartoon character. We get in, then a voice says something about the worse demon from hell. I see a disgusting creature getting downstairs pulled with a chain by a masked man. It's hard to describe, it looks like the combination of a serpent with human arms and legs, and some other bugs. Its head looks like the head of a tapeworm. The voice describes the creature. I think apparently they are trying to build the most terrifying monster from hell. It talks about some glands, when I see some glandular bags fall from its neck. They drop a fluid and the voice says it's some sort of poison. It's more disgusting than terrifying to me. Then there's a sort of religious preacher who asks me to think about the most lovely moment I lived. I have to build an image about it. I don't remember what I thought but he says the image must appear in front of my eyes in order to create the proper spell. I don't remember what I recalled but he says it's good because of the heart beats where pretty intense. Then he asks me to think about the worse moment I lived with my wife and I have to remember all the hate a felt. I remember a discussion we never had and think it's good for the occasion. Then he says the purpose of this spell is to conjure both feelings and turn them into one or something like that. Then I'm standing on a known dreamscape from my grandparents town. It's close to the cemetery. I remember I had a situation where I felt a more intense feeling, when I was editing some videos. But now he asks me to remember a table I had when I left the city of my university. He says this table did love me and is waiting when I come back. He has a table in his hand and unfolds it. I think it would be nice to have my table back because of the drawings I made on it, although perhaps my cousin has already sold it. Then I'm walking to the cemetery when I see a couple of buddies having a beer in a corner at the bottom of some stairs. I notice I have a Coke in my right hand, and it's cap is in my left pocket. I put it back and walk to my pals. Now I have a cassette in my hand. I see it's a Heavy Metal band from the 80's, and I want to show it to one of them. He says something about he likes "Vibrato". I remember I had this tape before and there's a song with that name. I look for it but I cannot find it anywhere. I see the box has sort of magnifying glass attached to it, and I can clearly read the titles of the songs with it. I just have to move the box a little to surf on the titles. Then I find the song "Vibrato" under the live show section. I'm wondering when the magnifying glass will be broken when I start hearing a chorus in Spanish which stands for "Where is the lord of the Holy Hell?"/...

* Woke up by some people making noises with a trumpet or some...

.../There was something about my older daughter having a bad or shower on the bed and it was a little bit complicated/...

09.06.14

Five - to six lucid dreams in a row. In RL I am sleeping in a hotel, and are doing a lot of relaxing, meditation and energy exercises. This dreams felt like peeling the personal onion. A follow up to the previous 4-5 lucid dreams in a row from 29.05 http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/auke...elp-dcs-58402/ Here I where lucid in between dreams and felt that DC's where helping me attaining my awareness.

1. Floating borders. Mostly grey tones, but a kind of a "Who framed Roger Rabbit" car was in technicolor at the bottom of a slope near the water. I was lucid and flying. I am sure I was in this dream a bit, but can’t remember details. I was thinking, but not feeling.

2. Found myself in a open parkland with greens, pathways and benches. There were buildings on the left and front of me. There where pictures of heroes or villains on the walls in beautiful drawn comic book art. Everything was clear as real life, but brighter and in comic art. I became very satisfied with how clear and stable everything was. I took a usual look at my hands, but I felt that it was not necessary. Some people who looked somewhat similar to the ones in the pictures, came from a doorway at the left. They were also drawn. I wondered why I was not drawn, and then I was. My arms became cartoonish while I looked at them. I started fighting like in a computer game with one of the characters, but I did not know how to do it. It felt kind of slow and low in spirit, trying to kick him in the shins all the time. I knew I probably could had boosted it up, but my interest was not in this. The setting was not in any way dangerous. In this dream, I am probably more lucid than in the previous.

My sleep was not very deep since I had contact with the physical room I was sleeping in between dreams trough vision.

3. I enter a room witch reminds me of the years I lived together with other students. Its full of people and there is music so there must be a party. I use one of my confident skills, and change the record to a rare and groovy track. A young student woman sits down in the coach next to me, she tells me that she also lives there, that she loved my taste in music, and suggests that we maybe could share a bed. I think that is a good idea, and suggest that we try it out at once. When she lays down, she is shape shifting a bit. She is a bit too thin and something is strange. I can't hold the dream. Again, I just know that I am dreaming. I hear music, but it is not clear. I can see details and colors. However, I cannot feel.

4. I come back to a similar setting. There is a party and many people. I am still Lucid, and now I start to interact with more awareness, not just react. I go out into a small balcony that also are crowded. It seems to hang in the air over a spacious setting, like a blue screen or just space. I turn around and in the doorway stands an older, but healthy looking man. He is white haired, has clear features and is a head taller than the people between us. We talk. What I can surly remember of or conversation is this.

Old Man: The God's do exist. (This is a follow up on a previous LD where I asked a DC "What is God") He has the smile of a teacher who wants followup questions. He also does reminds me quite much of a Buddhist teacher I know.

I: But are they evil?

Old Man: Does not answer, looks like I have asked the wrong question.

I: But there acts is not exactly what you can call humane?

Old Man: Right.

Now there is another DC standing in between us. He is so close to me that he must almost be standing on my toes. He/she is shorter than me and are masked in a black sort of scarf. He stands completely still as if he has not been put to play yet. I get the feeling he is waiting for the ongoing talk to end. I ask the old man if he's real and at the same time touch his face. He feels completely like a shaven, around 60 year’s old man. I get a kind of grey/every day and safe/family member feeling. Our conversation ends with the old man saying something like:

They (The God's) are not in any way, what you would consider safe.

The ninja character, who in until now has been like a statue, comes to life and makes me follow him of the balcony. We go through a short state of grey swirling mist.

5. This dream sets on the inside. (Inside body?) I have that feeling of being inside an organic cave with a laboratory in it. I get the hospital feeling. It is a mixture of stonewalls, not build, but mountain walls. In addition, some tech installations. I immediately gets the feeling that something is wrong. I became fully lucid in the last dream, and are remaining that here. A DC in a white coat are with me at once and expresses that something has gone horrible wrong with my son. I am on a sunken floor in a small waiting room. The DC looks sad and somewhat powerless over the situation. He gives me the feeling that he and some other helpers tried as best they could. On my way into a mountain hall I meet another white coated DC. He is probably the doctor. By now, my feelings are unbearable. I can see a boy sitting in a chair connected to wires. He's head/face looks literary like a mix between a broken white plate, and a head that looks more like a pancake than a head. I am now panicking.

My first response, as I enter the scene is.

He is alive! I thought you said that he was…?

The first health worker looks down.

I turn to the doctor and ask, what has happen here?

Doctor say’s, Double bypass gone wrong.

I take a second and consider my options. I am fully lucid, which means I can do what I like. However, I am now longer in contact with the "this is JUST a dream" feel I had in the past dreams.

I scream: Can't you see what you have done! You have given me this unbearable sensation of feeling in my stomach. I can’t stand staying here any longer! I fly through the ceiling while the DC's looked at me in disbelief. You can’t leave, they said, looking restless. I also had a strong feeling that it was wrong of me to escape but I could not bear to stay there. Never, in my whole life, have I felt such a powerful feeling of despair, loss and anger. I cannot describe it, but it was surely a horrible feel. I would have gladly changed it for some severe physical pain anytime. The rage drove me into my last lucid dream. I now demanded to meet death! Again, going through this grey kind of swirling mist.

6. I met him and just had a quick look at my hands to stabilize before I attacked. Death was as one would expect, cloaked in black, standing in some sort of fire on a stage. Death had a whip or a tail that turned in to an oven-like black thing at the end with a gate that opened that was made of black bars. I dived in to it. First, the dream was all black, I did not know what to expect. Then it shifted into vaguely contours on the walls of organic forms witch could look a little like faces. Deaths black tail was in front of me. It was long and slim and had a triangle on the end. I started to pull it. Still angry and upset. Nevertheless, it was just more tale. I felt extremely angry. The thing I was doing felt as such a desperate and useless action. Then, in a last effort, I worded in a deep angry, almost God like tone.

"COME HERE NOW".

I woke up...

This dream and the next has some synchronicity with real life random events. I feel that the team here are regarding not getting in touch with my heart. This is my main goal in life and this was a great opportunity to practice compassion for others and myself. Instead, I go into uncontrolled rage and try to kill death. I was off course scared when I woke, with that request to Death still ringing in my head.
Around the same time in RL, right after this dream, I was going to act in the wizard of OZ. Which I think, strangely enough, I have never seen or read. Before someone would ask me to do the role as the tin man, and before I knew anything about it. I did a google search on "driftwood" witch came up with a picture of the main characters from this story. I remember seeing the face of a sad and grey tin man and thought he resembled somehow the grey Jester from my previous LD. Then the day after, the director told me that the Tin man had no heart and that he would receive on in the end. I remember thinking that this is not a coincidence.

The night after this dream, my son had a nightmare and woke up screaming. The same night my wife dreamt that my son had defecated a snake. I had a dream a while back where a boy the age of my son, only scary looking, in black clothes, spewed a snake into my mouth. I was brave in this dream and merged with it, but it did hurt so much (more like a physical sensation) in my stomach that I woke. In addition, the double bypass refers to a heart connection.

One more thing that happened a day or so after this dream, which I did not react to then, but which have later made me wonder. I got a mail from a fellow Buddhist. It contained a form for filling out my wishes for my death. This was because I had entered a course earlier this spring named, “Preparing to die.”

See also this that may be a connecting dream: http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/auke...ntinues-58349/

29.05.14

Was trying to preform WILD, but ended up on my side and went into sleep instead. This was at work where I had to respond to and alarm call so it was hard to remember everything when I later sat down to write it out.

For the first time I am sure DC's where helping me with staying lucid. There was a grey Jester who were moving around my body, pulling my neck, and stroking me between dreams, it was a blackness, I was laying on my back, and I was at least partly aware. He’s action could be compared with what a helper is doing in a rebirthing session. I could feel he’s presence and sort of saw he’s face trough the darkness. He was there when I woke, sort of like a couch who were prepping me before a mach. I also felt the presence of one more helping character. A man in a suit with sunglasses staying more in the background. Just watching what I was doing and ready to come into play when I became ready.

I had 4-6 LD's in a row. The first two dreams are short and low on lucidity. My family is there, but that is all I can remember. Then in the next, my consciousness increases and I would like to explore something. I remember that I spontaneously beginning to fly and the DC’s looks at this in disbelief. "He can't do that," they say while pointing. I land because I have much experience with flying, and want to do something new. I want to taste something and find myself generating some fruits on a plate. I choose the apple and concludes that it tastes like apple.

I have another experience with losing the dream, but not waking up, and waking in another LD. I now tell the Jester that I know that he is real, since he is there between dreams. The jester and the man with the sunglasses, do not answer me, instead other dream characters are disappearing. Now I start to fly again, and I remember Robert Wagoner's quest to go out into space. I will this and go flying/floating at high speed in darkness with spread particles. I then remember the wish to go to the uttermost limits of the universe, or to the beginning. I come to floating gold and fire like objects that where spinning, I thought that this must be the beginning. I had a strong lust to disintegrate, merge with the universe and to feel oneness with it. However, I lose the dream again. In the next LD I again went down the sexual intercourse lane, witch where a bit disappointing. Then I woke. I had at least one more semi lucid dream, in there somewhere, sitting in some sort of cart in a cartoon.

I felt incredible when I woke up. What had I just experienced?! This dream came in short time after reading about communicating with helpful DC's in Robert Wagoners book. Not long before this dream, I had my first clear dream of asking a DC a planed question. I now have come to believe that there is a possibility for having "Helpers", my connection with these characters seemed so personal and special. I also know that the Jester is a Jungian Archetype. The man with the sunglasses are maybe the same as the masked guy, or a shadow archetype

Rüyamda Japon bir kızdan formül gibi bir şey çalıyorum aslında bir kağıt parçası ve oyuncak rokete benzeyen ilginç bir şey . Sonra babanemlerin bahçesine gidiyorum roketi fındığa teslim etmem gerek kağıdı bademe veriyorum yoluma devam ediyorum . Fındığı bulmaya çalışıyorum her yer çok karanlık ve gözlerim acıyor . Domateslerin oradan fındığın sesi geliyor bu tarafa gel diye bağırıyor arkamdan Japon kız takip ediyor . Sonra her yer aydınlanıyor . Mısırların arasına kaçıyoruz . Ben fareye dönüşüyorum . Hızlıca kaçıyoruz kız bizi yakalayamıyor ama bademden kağıdı alıyor sonra bademin içine giriyor . Badem kağıdı yiyor rüya bitiyor sdfsdf .

Date 15th of june.
Total sleep: 9.5 hours (estimate)
Daytime Techniques: RC, mantra, meditation, preperation.
Lucid Techniques: Anchoring/ stabilizisation, commands/mantras.
Recall Techniques: DJ, tags/simple notes by my bed.
Fell Asleep: around 12.00- 12.30?
Dream Title: The dreamers island.
Dream: I start out in a city, i wander around with a few friends. We enter a few shops, and since it's pretty late we make one last visist to the gorcery shop. They sold ice-cream, so i bought some mango icecream, and some more which i cant remember. We exit the shop, and i ask if i can get a ride with Lars, and Joakim. We drive over a bridge, and eventually hit an island which is sitting on a gigantic pillar, far over the sea. I try to climb a small, almost vertical road, but fail. I start driving downwards when i realize. The cars are not cars, they are 1 man electrical, wheelchair-like things. I jump off the cliff since i realize this is a dream. I wake up just when i start flying, out of excitement. I chain the dream, and enter the same dream. I am the place i fell off, i stagger upwards while shouting:''MORE VIVID'', ''MORE CLARITY''.I am the top of the island, and in a skype conversation with a few other dreamers (Tobias, Dennis and Aleks). They dont dream IRL, but in my dream, they dreamed. And they were much better than me. Remember, that i was jumping in and out of the dreams ALL the time, i'm pretty sure i did it like 5-ish times (isn-t it called DEILD or something?). Anyway, i attempt stabilizing myself in the dream. I look at my hands the closest i have ever done. i had all the right knuckles, and fingers, BUT the first joint on most of my fingers, are way too short. It was strange, i didn't get to try the : ''MORE LUCID'' commands, sadly. I did try some other commands/mantras, as seen above. I decide to try something i had tought of while reading a tutorial about dream stabilisisation, about the word ''anchor''. I decide to actually summon an anchor and bind my existence to it, it doesn't work since i get excited, so i wake up again. In the skype call we talk a lot, but we eventually agree to battle on the Island. We use all kinds of abilites and such, all while i am daring in and out of the dream if i get too excited. I use a devestating laz0r beam, that is as thick and wide as my whole body, to decimate large parts of the island, but it might be regenerating, i cant remember. I jump in the water, but suddenly i cant fly ( I probably could have if i calmed down and focused). So i suddenly teleport the the top of the mountain, which now are made of pixels somehow. I gain 3rd person view and start killing everybody wih my bow (BTW some brat named Tobias said he was going to win the competition, so step my game up). I have my other memories from this night that i cant pinpoint where happened. They will be stated below.
Awake: 10.30
Vividness: 9
Awareness: 2-10 (2 at the start, 10 at the end)
Length: Very long
Emotions: Happnines/joy, excitement, accomplishment, succes!, anger (slight), jealousy.
Dream Signs: Game related stuff, friends, familiar places, game-like.

As stated, this dream was large, and me jumping in and out of it didn't help with the fact i have a few memories, i cant remember where happened. Here they are: I go into a store which i think sells DVD's, this was the start somewhere. The entire arena suddenly gets pixelized, this was near the end. I had my first false awakening, weird as hell.

Dream # 5

Lucid Dream? - No

Dream Topic - Movie Attacker?

Dream Plot - I was in the movie theater seeing a batman movie. It was a full theater. I went to the bathroom and as I was walking back to my seat something didn't feel right. I looked towards the middle of the theater (This actually happened a long time ago in real life, I found out about it on the news I wasn't there) and a guy dressed up as the joker stood up and pulled out a gun. I wasn't back to my seat yet. Everyone was shocked and afraid, most people didn't move, they just looked at him in fear. At first I pondered whether I should run to the exit but figured he would shoot me if I tried. I kneeled down by my seat which a few people were doing to hide, and I decided to crawl under peoples legs towards the middle of the eil would hide me the best. I was able to roll under the seats and stay until the cops got the attacker but it was very scary. As I was leaving the theater, my friends mom called me and asked me if he was ok, I didn't even know he was with me so I had no idea where he was or if he was dead or alive. That's all I remember.