memorable

Dream - Lucid

My grandpa was still alive, but he knew he didn't have much time left. I was with him, my mom, and my aunt Marge, though I feel as if there were more people there too. They were all very sad about him dying, but he was at peace with it, and was trying to make the most of his last moments.

I was then somewhere else, though the situation had not changed. I opened a door, and saw my grandpa sitting in a chair at the head of a table. His hair appeared different than it ever was IWL, with streaks of red, some blonde and maybe brown as well, though the red is what I really remember. I then caught a quick glimpse of my mom and aunt, who were sad and not wanting him to go. I feel like they were asking him, pleading with him not to die. He looked at peace.

My aunt Marge closed to door. I wasn't supposed to be there for some reason.

~

I was at my old job, which was a department store. It was nighttime. I was in the building with a few other associates.

I was over by the women's fitting rooms, when I saw some lava leaking from a crack that it had caused in the wall. I remember going back to it a little later, and more was coming out. I started trying to cover it with clothing, but, of course, the clothing just caught fire and burned up. I felt as if we were trapped.

I then had another idea. I went to another fitting room with another associate, and we started looking for fire retardant clothing. We looked through lots of packaged pajama sets that normally the store receives around Christmas. I went through lots of red ones. Then, a supervisor, Charles, came up to us.
"Those aren't going to work," he said.
I imagined the fitting rooms slowly filling with lava.

Someone went back in the fitting rooms a little later to get something, and I was surprised when they came back out, because some time had passed, and I figured it was filled with lava by now.

Then, I was close to the front of the store by the doors, when Ashley, another associate and my IWL friend, came back in. I asked her if there was a way out, and she said no, there wasn't. I imagined it outside, us surrounded by lava or erupting volcanoes. I knew we were doomed to die in the building. We all knew.

I then approached Jaime, a manager, and asked her if she had anything strong we could take. If we were gonna die slowly, may as well not be able to feel anything. She took a silver package of these big pills out of her purse. They were Percoset, a strong pain killer (never taken them IWL). She gave one to me, one to Ashley, and took one for herself. The pill was wrapped in another piece of plastic besides the silver packaging, but it was supposed to dissolve when you took it. I put it in my mouth to swallow it. It immediately tasted very bitter. I tried to swallow it, but it was such a big pill, it was proving to be difficult. I really wanted the bitter taste out of my mouth. Before I swallowed it, I already started to feel the effects of the pill. I figured it was a fast-acting pill for those who were in major pain. I remember Jaime chewing her pill. I didn't understand how she could stand the bitter taste.

I woke up for a little bit, then went back to sleep, entering the same dream.

The pill was in full effect now, and I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked down at the tiled floor, and the designs on the white floor tiles appeared to be oscillating. Yeah, definitely feeling the pill. I stood up, and then, even though I did not feel the need to pee, I kept peeing. I peed a lot.

~

I was at the department store I used to work at again, setting up some display on the endcap of a register. It was almost Christmastime. I thought to myself that it seemed so soon for Christmas; it felt as if we had just had it. I remembered the year prior with my husband, who was then my fiance. It seemed like just yesterday.

Then, Ashley walked by. She was wearing a black maxi skirt that was slightly sheer, but only at the legs, and a black top. She said
"It's been a year, and I'm going to be possessive of you, _____, and _____." I can't remember what else she said besides me.
Apparently, Ashley was my wife. She had some issues about Christmas; something about the holiday made her feel insecure. I understood this, and was not upset by it. I just wanted her to be happy. I "remembered" kissing her, and thought about how I never thought I would marry a woman, and how my family never saw it coming either. But I loved Ashley; she was my wife.

I then "remembered" driving to see her the prior year on Christmas, and taking pictures of the road on my way and sending them to her. I remember one in particular of the interstate in front of me. I was in the far left lane, and there was a metal chain-link fence on the divider. I think a semi-truck was also in the picture.

~

I was walking through a city in the daytime. It was sunny out. It reminded me of a video game. I was with my husband, Dallas. The objective of the real-life game was to kill the governor. I had a shotgun on me.

Dallas and I split up at some point. I was walking the streets alone, searching for the governor. I feel like I encountered some people and talked to them, but I can't quite recall. I noticed my husband's absence, and wondered where he was.

I then approached a building and entered it. It was a library. I was standing in the huge foyer. There was a service desk in front of me, and behind it, glass windows looking into a room with computers and books. The floors were dark wood, and the lighting was sort of a "mood" lighting, not too dim but just right. Immediately, I recognized this library as one from a dream I had years ago, and knew I was dreaming. The dream quality instantly started to suffer, so I concentrated on my hands so as not to lose lucidity. My hands were changing as I looked at them, turning into baby hands and sprouting extra fingers. I walked as I kept focus on them, and the dream seemed to stabalize.

I approached a young, tall, skinny girl standing at a podium. She looked to be in her early teens, and had dark hair pulled back into a ponytail.
"What's your name?" I inquired.
"Jaime," she responded.
"Jaime, are you a real person, or are you part of my mind?"
"Part of your mind," she responded with a smile. As she said this, she stepped out from behind the podium.

I then went somewhere else, up some stairs I believe, and into a very crowded hallway with a balcony overlooking the foyer. It was circular and stretched around the edges of the room. I approached a blonde boy, probably about the same age as Jaime, and found out his name was Josh. He didn't really seem happy. He reminded me of someone I met IWL at my old job. He had the same name as well. He looked similar too, though much younger. I was having trouble getting him to look at me in the eye. I took his shoulders in my hands and said something to him, though I can't remember what. I was trying to get him to see something.

I then was not sure what else to do with my lucidity. I didn't feel like I had much more time. I could not remember any goals I had prior to falling asleep. So I decided to do something I actually haven't done in a long time in my dreams: Fly. I took a running start, and people started to look, telling their friends to look because I was going to fly. I ran up and down the hallway a few times before I decided a running start wasn't the best way for me to do this. I leaned over the balcony. I saw all the people across from me on the other side of the hallway, and everyone below me in the foyer. I wasn't sure about this, since I had not done it in so long, but I let myself fall from the balcony. I then flew. Everyone was cheering me on. I was going very fast, however, and felt out of control of my speed, though I could rise and fall when I pleased; when I thought about going higher, I would, and when I thought about going lower, I would. I was just going so fast...

The cheers then started to slow way down, like when a record is slowed down. I had an FA in my bed. I kept my eyes closed for awhile, but finally decided to get up out of bed, because I was hearing what sounded like someone peeing, or water trickling into water. When I went to get up, however, I noticed that my feet were already touching the floor, as if I was half standing, and half laying down in my sleep. I got all the way up and walked down the hallway. I noticed my husband standing in the guest bathroom doorway. The lights were off in there. That's odd, I thought he went to work. I got closer and noticed his shorts were pulled down, and he was peeing. Is he sleep peeing?

Upon getting closer, I noticed he was peeing in my cat's water dish! My cat, Belle, was just standing there too, watching. I started getting really pissed at him (no pun intended), and yelled at him for doing that. I know that he and my cat don't really get along, but seriously?? I started yelling at him to stop, and asking him how he would feel if someone peed in his water. He said something smart-assy back to me. As I was raging, he started to walk away into the kitchen, which was much, much bigger than our IWL kitchen, which actually brought me to lucidity for a second, but I was so angry that I lost the lucidity in my rage. I noticed that the kitchen had chopped up potatoes all over it; the counters and every surface were covered. I knew he had done this just to spite me. I asked him if he was going to clean it up, and he shook his head no. I was so fucking angry. I went into the guest room, which also looked much different, and tried to slam the door, but the coat rack on the top prevented me from doing so (this does happen IWL). Ugh, I was so angry!

Then I woke up for real.

~

Ugh, I can't believe I couldn't remember what I wanted to do with my lucidity. Maybe another night. I'll just keep incubating my ideas, and hope that they come through into my dreams. Glad for the lucidity though! Woot woot!!

I accidentaly left George Lopez on TV. The episode was a rerun from the previous night. I woke up, remembering that the TV was on, but then instead of getting out of bed, I thought "I'll know I'm dreaming know" so I went back to sleep. I forgot for a moment, then I realized it again. I went beast mode. I was walking through the town, then I thought to myself "These are NPCs, right? Therefore, it won't matter if they die." So I saw my perspective slowly lift into the air as mechanical sounds were made. All of a sudden, my body was enveloped into a metal chassis. Flamethrowers were hitched to my arms, and my tongue turned into a machine gun. I started torching the town, the pathetic NPCs cried for help and safety. I thought that it would be cool to take on extra terrestrial beings, so I summoned aliens. Ate the flashy ships. Then I thought after the town was crushed "let's take on a deity" So I cycled through a list of deities, Aries, mars, venus, Aphrodite, Cupid, Zeus, then it hit me. God. He caused the death of my trusted guinea pig, Max. I summoned him into the world in his true form; a spectral representation of a human being much bigger. I shot rockets at him, and he threw bolts of lightning at me. I dodged it in a bullet-time like matrix. I punched him as I valiantly cried out "This is for max!" Then proceeded to wake up. I had some "lumber" I had to "cut down" when I woke up in the morning, and here I am. Like a boss. yay

7/13/14* Awesome! Finally one of my recent vivid dreams became lucid! Similar calm, highly lucid, exploration like my grassy sea lucid and right after seeing the closest thing I have seen to a grassy sea: I just watched Gravity for the first time last night and there is a scene where you see a grassy vegetation growing up out of a large body of water. When I saw that scene in the movie IWL my heart fluttered emotionally with the memory of the wonderful lucid dream it so much reminded me of and it must have inspired another awesome LD. I think it solidified the point for me to slow down and explore all of the wonder right around you. I have also had similar experiences IWL.

One of my earlier dreams was very vivid. At the end there is a squirrel that got into a house with a gathering or party. After trying to lead him out an open door, I was able to catch it but it reached back and bit my hand. I moved my hands further up his body to the base of his head to keep him from biting me again. All I could see from the injury was what looked more like a bloody scratch. I woke with the thought that the squirrel biting me should have made me lucid.

I am on a trip again, a common theme. My family and I are heading to quarantine area where they are going to apply some treatment to everyone via spray in the room so that no one carries any diseases into this foreign country. In a seemingly semi lucid moment I put my arms around this beautiful woman who takes to it kindly at first but then pushes me away. I sit on the floor apparently wearing a baseball cap as my view is slightly obscured looking upwards. Two cute kids are playing with me as I sit there. My wife is sitting on a ledge above on the perimeter of the room and a guy next to her is apparently stinky and she makes a face. I asked my wife where our son is. She didn't seem sure and didn't seem worried. Doors to the room opened up to let everyone out and transport trolleys are coming in and I'm the last one still in there and the doors closed but I'm able to scurry my way to the door and open it and go out. It is a beautiful countryside with
green hills reminding me of where I was in 1993. Lots of people hanging around outside but no wife and son. I just wait knowing they would know where to find me. People are sitting at an outdoor table talking while most others mingling much like a party but it is daytime, outside and of course in the beautiful scenery. I see a group walking down the road maybe they are with them up that way. I pass a place that raises collies apparently, the dog breed. I strain my neck to see and a dog runs up to me to jump or bite me...ah dog dream sign (One of the dream signs I thought about during WBTB...I'm dreaming.. fades and I clench my eyes to try to reenter the dream. It probably never ended, probably just the void, it's hazy but I can see a little bit and I think of the task of the month and I start to visualize an elevator...nothing at first but then a big red button appears and I press it and at this point it is more like I am visualizing an elevator door opening and seeing the elevator car and stepping in.
I can feel myself going up up up in what feels more like an open-air elevator car and still hazy. I am not satisfied with experience due to the lack of visuals. I think that I wake up but wait remember always check when waking up. I do feel that I'm still in a dream, an FA, laying in bed. I get out of bed. I'm in a hotel room with strange striped wallpaper. I end up face down on the floor and struggle to crawl up to the wall to lift myself up. How tricky the transition is to an FA. Try to stick my finger through my palm and it indicates that I am awake. No! I am sure that I'm dreaming so I look at my left hand and there are five fingers. But, I have a small appendage or extra little finger sticking out to the right of my left index finger going out from a spot about 3/4 of an inch down my finger. I think again of the elevator task...a hotel should be perfect. I go through two sets of doors to exit my hotel room but before I close the door I take one
more look at my hand and it looks just like before surprisingly...five fingers with a little extra one. The hallway of the hotel is awesome it looks maybe 1920s!! The walls are adorned with a beautiful rich dark wood paneling up and down. I go down to one end of the hall and there's a short flight of stairs up straight ahead, maybe 5 stairs and I start to go up and I think this wouldn't be the way to an elevator but at the top I see there's a small opening or space and there is a small door not more than a foot and a half tall . I go back the other way down the hall past where I came out and circle around to the right and I see a man and a woman in an open area with curtains that are opened. It looks like an opium den and/or a brothel. I keep going then I come to an opening in the hall there is a weird creature or boy sitting on the floor with his back to me. I decide to turn my back to him...out of sight out of mind. I continue down another hall and
walk past this man who had first looks like a guy in a suit and tie. Still not seeing an elevator I decide to go back to the man who now looks more like a bellman , an old fashioned one. I asked him if there's an elevator here. He says that the elevator will be ready in 1 to 2 weeks. I then think perhaps I can teleport to one of the neighboring buildings it seems like I'm in a big city downtown with lots of buildings back at the early part of the century from everything I see in this hotel and the way that guy is dressed. I'm amazed how vivid this dream is and how beautiful everything is. I ask if there's another building around with an elevator. The guy says that actually I can ride their elevator but I just have to sign a waiver. I ask him where will it take me. He says it will take me up to the top. I ask him what is there? He says the tree. I say the tree? Is this construction, unfinished? No he says it is solid. It used to house our Communications
department(?). I follow him towards the elevator down the hall that looks like a maintenance corridor and I'm having trouble standing up straight. I am leaning heavily as if I will fall to my left down a stairwell but I am hanging on to some bars or pipes that line the right side. It seems like the guy I am following is growing impatient at how slow I am. I'm in a dilemma. I'm not sure if I should let go and have faith that I can walk straight or keep going while holding on. I think it's okay if I fall it is just a dream but I might lose the scene and my path to the elevator. I also I think that I could teleport. I got probably 20 feet down this hall hanging on before I finally woke up for real. Still very cool lucid scenes and I wake up smiling. My day practices up until yesterday were focusing on doing the elevator task next for whatever reason. Yesterday I thought I started incubating the idea that I should meet up with Dreamer first, but next need to incubate that a bit more. Might have gotten to that task if I had ever completed the elevator one! 173

Another lucid dream, once more proving to me at least some parts of me seem to be regenerating. Or not decaying further. Either way...

...the first part of the dream I can recall begins with me being in some kind of 'mall'. While it felt and was treated like a shopping mall, it much more looked like a home, that was maybe a little bigger than an average house. The interior was largely gray with some white, relatively normal I'd say, it didn't look fancy but acceptable by my standards. I remember the living room, there was someone I didn't know, a Playstation (1) and a staircase when walking through the room, which felt very spacious as it was connected to the other rooms, no doors or stuff that made you feel you changed the room.
I eventually walked up the stairs, and remember a more white kitchen like room, with an silver oven placed at an convenient height to work with. Somehow I felt and noticed that the dream played during a different time than reality, I was somewhat in the past, and first upon realizing that planned to make use of it to change things for the better.
I'm not quite sure what happened, or how, but then I'm standing on a small ledge, outside of a building, 20 m above the ground or something. The view I saw was... absolutely amazing, apocalyptic and dark. A feeling emerges I couldn't describe, a more valuable experience than I could ever get from watching even the most emotional movies in real life for hours. I'm falling down and I realize I'm dreaming, I feel relaxed and fine.
I'm in a big zone, I don't even know what it was, a train station, a building, maybe just an open place with some constructions. I was testing around with gravity, and again I also was flying a little. My girlfriend was there as well, she asked me if I was still dreaming, I did an reality check and replied that I was of course still dreaming. After some more time of being lucid but somehow doing nothing fancy I felt my focus fading for a moment, then I woke up.

Man, if just for once I would actually start doing something relevant upon becoming lucid...

I was in a gloomy and snowy place, and was following a group of kids who were sledding down a snowy hill. They were following a snowy road. It was cold and everything seemed as though it was covered in snow, and it was still snowing lightly. Anyways, I got a sled and followed the kids, quickly I noticed that a tall white, evil looking elf dude was also on the childrens tail. As I got closer to them and finally right up on them, we started turning a corner. The Tall elf guy pushed one of the kids and ended up killing him. I remember thinking "my god what the hell is going on" as the kid and his sled flew directly past my face. A deep curiosity filled me and I continued following the children. As the road straightened back out I some how lost my balance, and seeing that I was about to fall off my sled I slowed down and regained the balance I lost. Right in front of me I noticed that the Elf was nearly stopped. I decided to help him out and I shot some sort of fire at the back of his sled and it fueled him and he went foward. Seeing that I helped him, the elf helped me and made me go faster. Soon I was quickly nearing a water puddle, but near the water puddle was tile, like the type on kitchen floors. And to get to the puddle you had to cross a thin beam on your sled, it was like an obstacle course. I gained alot of distance between myself and the elf and with caution crossed over the beam. After I crossed it my sled landed in the water puddle. I went to go pick it up, but it disappeared, "it was just there", I thought, "where did it go". I frantically searched for it, but it was gone. I looked back and saw that the elf had fell off the cross beam and he had start over the entire obstacle course. Upon his return he came back and started shooting arrows at me. Frightened, I hid behind a door, but it was see through. He shot at me and the arrows would go through the door but would stop halfway in. Somebody saw what was going on and killed the Elf. I was safe for now. I was in some sort of hallway, but it wasnt complete, it was only a small hallway in the middle of a snowy wonderland. I decided to go check out the Elf's body and when I got to him I noticed his head fell off. I picked it up and it started talking. I told him he was going to go to hell or something like that and he disagreed. He said he wasnt going to suffer. Right after he said that though some sort of helmet type thing covered his skull and it started turning bright orange, and it looked like he was literally burning up inside. I could tell that he started suffering and something inside of me told me he was going to hell. At this point the dream became a nightmare. I turned around and walked through the hallway and saw "satan" himself behind me. I got a little scared, I didnt want to go to hell(I dont believe in it in real life, it was just in this dream). I acted like an evil person around him so he wouldnt think I was some good guy and so he wouldnt kill me or anything. Just then a huge soldier dude came by and it was either me or him, but one of us asked satan if he could give us a pair of headphones that had 4 headphones instead of two, and that they would have the greatest bass ever. Satan came up to the soldier and put some head phones in his ears, and I remember him putting some in my ears as well. I listened to a short song and that was it.

2. False Awakening- I woke up out of my bed, got up and looked in the mirror(as usual). I turned around to see what time it was and my digital clock had the word "no" on its screen. I turned around and saw another digital clock with the letters "THC" or "HTC" across it, I dont remember which one. Here I am, looking at 2 digital clocks, and both arent working and I dont become lucid. A missed oppurtunity. After that I woke up for real and noticed what had just happened.

3. I was in a them park along the coast with my family. I was wearing shorts, a shirt, and a snapback. I had on no shoes or socks, I just walked around barefooted. Me and my dad were looking for my sister and my mom because they had walked off without telling us where they were going. We spotted them in the distance and walked toward them. We caught up to them and my dad asked them what they were doing and then we all turned around and went to the middle of the theme park. When we got there my sister wanted to ride this Water Log ride where it just swings you around in a log on the water. My parents said ok, so I had to go as well. Another family wanted to ride it as well, they were mexican. Luckily there were 2 of these logs so each family could get in each. My sister got in the opposite log while me, my mom, and my dad got in the other one. I asked her what she was doing, and she simply said "getting in for the ride". I got my phone out of my pocket because this was a wet watery ride. I asked the manager of the ride what we do with our electronics. She said to put them in the container next to me. I turned around and sure enough there was a drawer with some shelfs and was about to put it in there, but the lady corrected me and told me to put my stuff in the top container, which was a really small plastic container. I put my ipod, headphones, and two cellphones that I had in my pocket. I noticed that I only had 1 cell phone so why did I have two now? And the other phone wasnt even the type of phone I really owned. I soon realized that I had my sisters phone(even though it really wasnt hers) and just put it in the container along with mine. With all of my stuff in the container there was no room left for my moms phone, and so we couldnt fit it in. Thats all I remember of that dream.

4. My entire nuclear family was in my room with me. My dad was going around my room taking pictures( I thought he was doing this because he was trying to sell the house). Upon noticing what he was doing, I decided to fix my bed so it would look nice, and my mom decided to help me. I straightened up the sheets and my mom ended up messing it up by making it hugely uneven. And I also noticed how extremely small my bed was. It was only about 1 foot in length, but I thought nothing of it because I thought it was always that way.

5. Me and my friend dylan were in school. [small fragment]

6. I was in a car and I think my grandma was driving. We were near her house and out of no where a blue insect/worm got in the car. I watched it and it started laying eggs in its own body and half of the eggs it was laying were missing the insects pouch and falling onto the ground. After it finished laying its eggs, it went into its own body like a hermit crab and stayed there. I looked at my sister and suddenly she had a huge spider on her head and also a centipede. I told her and she quickly tried shaking them off. I told her not to get them on me. The spider flew onto her leg, and the centipede disappeared. As we continued driving me and my sister saw more of those blue worm things and decided to smash them because they were really gross. We did so and we killed 3 or 4 of them.

Standing in a rather plain room. Empty walls, beige carpet. I begin hearing the intro music for "Turn Down for What" and start acting like the character from the intro to the music video. Before any lyrics start, I realize I'm dreaming, and want to combine it with the TOTM. The first one I think of is to get naked. I think about how I'm going to do both, and wake up before doing either.

// I was thinking rather introspectively, to the exclusion of everything I was doing. Maybe that woke me up?

>> Next time: Try thinking while still interacting with the dream.

This dream was months or perhaps a year ago, not really sure, but it was a while ago and I still remember it, so I've written it down and would like to share it.

(Spoilers for Deathly Hallows - but you probably already have read/watched/heard it by now and WARNING: mildly violent)

I was at Hogwarts and it was the Battle of Hogwarts. I became a dragon at first but decided against it because I didn't want to steal the spotlight of the dragon that had already appeared in the book/film previously. I returned to human form but remained with flying and fire magic. I was flying and ended up in a fight with some student (not sure if he was in Slytherin) who was on the side of the death eaters. He was armed with a bow and arrow (despite it being a magic school, where he could've avada kedavra'd me to death, but no.)

I deflected the arrows with a fire barrier I conjured, but the archer managed a special technique (can't remember what exactly) causing the arrow to fly at a higher speed and pierce through the barrier which got me shot in several places and I should've died, but I didn't. Instead I let my fire barrier weaken with the sudden blood loss, walked over to him with all my strength (didn't feel any pain, just weakened), ripped the arrow out of my chest and stabbed him with it.

I then flew around, before losing energy to fly and begged people passing by me to take me to the hospital wing, soon it was forgotten and I discovered Fred Weasley's death, went to comfort George who was in his dorm bed crying but some random old man told me that I shouldn't disturb him because he was quite upset. Then I woke up.

This was the 4th dream out of 4 dreams I had, but this was the most memorable and the one I remember bits from the most and I thought I'd share it.

The dream started off somewhere at some sort of campsite, there was a massive watchtower, a building where the campsite owner lived and the site was surrounded by a forest of tall trees.

The campsite owner was like Miles Quaritch (AVATAR), he wanted the forest around destroyed and wasn't going to be convinced otherwise. He took a liking to me (not in that way) and showed me a tour of where he lived. We walked in and the place had books stacked EVERYWHERE (See attachment for diagram), from novels to non-fiction. I specifically remember seeing The Lord of The Rings and Game of Thrones as we walked through the path that wasn't compiled with books. He then lead me to some sort of control room and started discussing his plans on destroying the forest. I didn't want anything to do with it, so I ascended to the roof and flew off with wings I apparently had.

I flew over for a few seconds and spotted a shelter not too far away. I landed and there was a playground out the front, an undercover area and a building that was secured with thief detectors, lights and cameras. I soon discovered a tribe of koalas who shared the same intelligence as human beings, they were wary of me first but soon turned out to be quite friendly. They could use human technology and played on the playground like a human kid would.

I returned to the campsite, apologised to the leader for zooming off and tried to convince him out of destroying the forest because I had discovered koalas. His interest in destroying the forest perked up when I mentioned the koalas, I tried convincing him out of it, telling him the koalas were friendly and were like humans, but he wouldn't have any of it.

Later on in the dream, I was chatting with friends (who were from real life, for the sake of the story we'll call them Elise and Jodie) and I talked about how I disapprove of the camp leader's motives. I was too scared to say his name (forgot what his name was) out loud or diss him behind his back just in case he happened to overhear it. Then I told them about the koala tribe and they wanted to meet them as well. They offered walking up there with me, but I said flying would be easier, but I could only carry one person at a time.

I asked who wanted to go first, Elise allowed Jodie to go first, so I kept hold of her as I flew up and carried her over to the shelter. I showed her around the shelter and the koalas were there, but weren't (They existed, but they weren't visible at that moment because dreams are weird like that). Instead there was a bunch of people hanging around there and it was night, soon enough I was vlogging like a YouTuber, filming all the different people and I'm pretty sure my dream ended after that.

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In the past two weeks, the dreams have been intense, but I did not write any of them down.

In one, Boden didn't recognize me and didn't want anything to do with me. Boden, if I haven't mentioned him yet, has been with me from the beginning of my lucid dreams. I tried to get his attention. It was heartbreaking. Like I didn't exist to him. Like I was now so unrecognizable he couldn't fathom my being "good enough" to know his name. I felt crushed.

In another, I don't know who they were, but one was a young woman (feisty), the other a man around my age. I had to leave in a hurry and ended up walking around the city in the dark, in the rain, in a minidress and a flannel shirt the man lent me because it was cold outside. Every hotel I came to turned me away.

Sometimes I dream of just walking away from it all. Leave behind the stress I'm always under. I have nowhere to go and in the dreams it always seems to catch up to me (ain't that something?). Well, life recently has caught up to me. It's a constant struggle. The dreams I have are the only outlet I have available.

Lucid dreams I can go anywhere and drop any worry. I have friends who actually want to talk to me or spend time with me or just support me. Real life is so different. If I could choose a world to live in, it would be the dreams.

-Pix

03.05.2014

Dreaming 101 (DILD)

Forgot to post this a while ago. One of my favorite dreams.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

0040 - I'm rushing to my college class. (Note: IRL, I'm not in college yet, but I don't notice this) I'm taking 5 courses at a time, as my schedule says, and one is on the 10th floor. At first I go up to the 8th or 9th with my friends, but realize that my class - D--- 101? is in 1029. Someone else and their mother is looking for the room as well, and notices me going there. I go in - it's a tiny entrance - find a seat, and sit down. I find out that we actually weren't supposed to be there, and that we were really lucky. I don't know what the class is about. The people in charge tell us to form groups of 5 or so, and everyone starts mixing together. I start panicking. I look around and see no one I can ask. I go up to this girl and ask, but she's doing some homework and says no. I look around again and Emily waves to me from across the room. I am relieved, and go sit down next to here. I say something about her saving my life and she laughs. Even so, I am disappointed in myself for not having made new friends in college. The people start talking, and it becomes apparent that we're supposed to "take a hit" of this substance. Me and Emily have never done drugs, and we don't want to. (Someone I know, possibly Emily, is sitting next to me) We get cups of this liquid gas and the person next to me decides to drink it, which we're not supposed to do. I inhale the gas, once, twice, imagine dropping into the ocean, and feel water all around me. I am asleep, and dreaming, and know that I am.

I don't remember what happens next. I think I start exploring. Oh - the other person may have been Stephanie. I'm with her in the dream. We're in a city, and I keep jumping and flying up and up and up, and she grows really big. I reach this overhang/cliff and grab onto the building, but it's weak and can't support my weight. I notice the big drop down to the street below and the arrows pointing in a line underneath me and tell S that she can go through the tunnel underneath to see me do an awesome drop. She doesn't really want to, or doesn't care either way. Not sure. Anyway, I keep holding onto the building wih a hand or two and my body keeps jumping up or floating up - perhaps on its own, or I have to keep doing so for some reason. It feels like I'm in space or constant antigravity or something. Eventually I jump too far and my legs overbalance and I flip over the edge and fall down.

It was realistic, I think. Fairly vivid. I fell down but I knew I could fly up, and so I did. It was somewhere around this point that I really realized that I was dreaming. I did an RC and everything. Things became clearer, more vivid without me trying. I fly around the city, looking at the cars, which weren't rendered properly, and we get up to the point up there. All the while, I remember the college course, and realize that it's about being about to control your dreams and trips and all that. When I meet Snape and crack my eyes open briefly in real life - or was it the college class? - I close my eyes immediately and imagine a well in the ground. A voice says, "Hover, don't drop," and I think I return to Snape and all that. New Yorkin' 2 on a billboard in rainbow letters somewhere in a city. Across the billboard there is another big poster, where the words all fluctuate. Snape is there, rather scary. Had to somewhat DEILD back in. He made a potion and reluctantly gives it to me, but says that if i take it, my other class will not be something. I decide not to take it.

I decide that I've had enough of a cloudy, foggy atmosphere and fly up past the overpasses crowding the city. The sky is beautiful and rainbow and full of stars. For once I am truly excited that this is a dream. There may have been an airship. I looked at the cars, which looked wonky and all that. At some point, the dream ends.

Last night I had some difficulties falling asleep again and DR wasn't the best but I must say the dream that I had felt and still feels quiet important to me.

1. Stand and fight

I'm somewhere in California or just somewhere in America with large forests and warm temperatures, it's sunset and I'm enjoying a walk through the forest. I cross some small crooks using small bridges made of 4 logs. I feel like this is summer camp or something and I'm pretty young. (I never went to camps when I was younger IRL.) Suddenly the dream teleports me, I'm back myself and I'm in the same forest but a different location. As I look down the very long dirt road infront of me with at the end a road and buildings (Mabye 250 meters far?) I hear a growl behind my back. I turn around and see a large dark bear standing there, he stares at me with a hungry expression. For 3 seconds I'm frozen and thinking about the best thing to do, my rational minds tells me to remain steady and stare back cause that's what you're told to do when you see a bear, yeah? But my instinct is more powerfull and forces me to run the other way as fast as I can. After 5 seconds of running I realise I made the wrong decision and now the bear thinks I'm a prey, I hear his growling getting closer and closer and his footsteps smashing the ground beneath him. 20 meters further I feel my legs are extremely tired and I know I can't run from this thing, he will tear me in pieces!
But then the most important part of the dream happens, atleast what I think makes it so special. I turn around and see the bear storming at me and he's about 5 meters away from me, I quickly grab a pocket knife (IRL I've never had one.) and try pulling the knife out of the device. I think to myself "If I can't run away from you, then I will not give up without a fight." By the time I ready the knife the bear is just 1 meter infront of me and tries to attack. I dodge it and stab him in his upper neck, the knife barely pierces the thick fur and leathery skin but I see some blood. The bear keeps attacking and after several more stabbings the dream teleports again and I look down on the corpse of the bear, which is completly covered in blood.

Now the reason why I think this dream is so important is cause I just defeated a true nightmare, for the first time in my life. I don't have to worry about it returning or something cause I ended it right then and there. It also shows a bit of who I am as a person I think, I like to ignore and walk away from problems that aren't extremely important but when they do get big I usually solve them really well.

I fall asleep, and immediately see a face directly in front of mine, maybe our noses are a full nose distance apart at most. A man is staring directly at me, sporting a big, regular mustache, and smiling happily. Looking right into my eyes as his wide face remains motionless. I scream in terror, completely surprised by this man, because just a moment ago I was laying in my bed, waiting for sleep.

I wake up with a jolt, then question why he was so terrifying for me? I think it was the surprise factor of going from being by myself, to having a face all up in my face.

"Yes!" I said to myself as Sleep-paralysis sets in "Now, don't think of anything scary... like the grudge...
fuck!" said I getting scared, but Luckily for me, nothing happend. Instead I left my body and felt myself floating
to the ceiling. I opened my eyes and looked down onto my bed, empty. "Jesus, my bed is a mess." I said.
I tried to floath down, but gravity had not set in, so I pulled myself down on an invicible rope.

"Okay..." I said happy. "... Gravity is setting in." I realized as I walked down the stairs. When I reached the ground
I looked up and saw, with horror, my mom sitting in the faraway couch. "Okay, Kasper, concentrate... Atleast you
can use your trick to spawn Constantine... Just use the script" I assured myself. My mom looks up.
"Hi! Mom! uhm... is Constantine outside?" said I, trying to be confident. "Yes, she is." my mom said calmly.
"Where you going?" She asked. "Grocerie-shopping with Constantine" I said, sticking to the script. "Shopping
for what, dear?" She suddenly asked. Dumbstruck I panicked, because this she never asked before. "Uhm...
Cookies!" I said. "Cookies... What...kind... of... cookies?" She began to say, in a robotic voice. I reached
for the door, ready to make a run for it. "the...salty ones?" I said quickly. "WRONG COOKIE!" She suddenly yelled.
I screamed, for my mom changed into a demonic nature. Eyes turning red and spinning... I shrieked, while opening
the door wildly. "Hello Ka - 'NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!'" I yelled, interrupting Constantine mid-sentence. I grabbed her hand
and ran away.

"What happend?" she asks confused. "Vincent's... favourite... monster!" I stuttered, running
at high pace. She looked back. "Your mom?" She asks. "No!... Cookie...monster". "How did that happen?" she asks me
in a confused tone. I stopped. "Things... tend to turn demonic if I panic. For some reason my mom left the
script and asked me something new, so I panicked. Cookie monster, for some reason, came up in my mind so I
said 'cookies' and... - 'COOKIES!'" Interrupted by my mom, still chasing me. I grabbed Constantine her hand
again and ran back in a wide circle to the house. Slamming the door shut behind us, I let out a sigh. "That was close"
I said. Suddenly the door started to open. With haste we held the door shut, with our back. Re-acting the scene
of Jurrasic Park. "Search for a shotgun!" I yelled, while wildly looking for a shotgun to blow my mom her head off.
At the end, there was no shotgun... "Keys" Constantine said and locked the door. "NOOOOO!" My mom yelled outside.
Feeling safe for a second, we came to the conclusion my mom had her own pair of keys. "It knows how to open doors!"
I yelled,still trying to re-act Jurrasic Park in a vain attempt to spawn a shotgun. As we were holding the handle,
a voice behind us spoke. "What's the problem?".

I looked back. "Who are you supposed to be?" I asked annoyed.
"Your father" he said. Getting angry for someone to impersonate my dad, I lost lucidity for a second and wanted
to punch him in the face if it was not for the reason I had my hands bussy holding my mom outside. Luckily, I came back.
"Do something!" I yelled. "Oh, your mother is in one of her periods again" He says, while shoving us away and opening the door.
"WRONG COOKIE!" My mom yelled at my dad. "I know, hon. I know, come with me" He said reassuring, while walking away with my mom.
We waited until the yelling of cookies was over, before we left the house and went to the opposite road.

"This is NOT what I wanted" I said angry. "The only thing I wanted was to spawn you, then we could just walk
and talk... Maybe about my dad or what Anne said. But nooo, I changed my mom into a monster... AGAIN!" said I in
a frenzy. "Do things turn demonic often?" asks Constantine. "I once punched my cat in the face... it turned demonic.
One time I came here and my dog was acting apeshit. He acts apeshit IRL too, but now it was, like, tottaly apeshit...
so I punched him in the face. And he turned demonic" I explained. "you... punched your mom?" she asks. "No, not yet
that is" I said back. "Thing is..." I started, "... I once changed the entire world into minecraft! Then I lost
lucidity and transformed into a mindless Steve... But I could do stuff! I once spawned a dragon, I did lost
control of it, but there are times I just can't do shit... I want to re-create a scene of Godzilla and King
Ghidorah from GMK and spawn Lars in it so he can see - 'is he black?' - intterupt Constantine me. "What? Who?
No, he is not black!" I said. "Why would you ever ask..." I began, but suddenly fell to the ground.

"What's happening now?" I thought to myself, when I suddenly found me and Constantine standing in a wooden house
with multiple floors. "This is so not going as I want it to go..." I sighed. I looked at Constantine and noticed
she changed faces again, but always keeps her black hair. "Why do you do that? Changing how you look?" I asked her.
"Because I want to look different sometimes" She said back. "So WHAT was the point of you taken me to shop for clothes
the entire time yesterday?" I asked baffled. "No point" She said calmly. I let out a sigh. "Constantine..." I began,
"... do you, like, hear me when I talk or think about you when I'm awake?" I asked nervously. "Yes, but not clear.
Like a radio with a lot of white noise. Words pop out, sometimes sentences." She answered back. "Oh... uhm...
about some of the things I think sometimes... You know..." I said in a little voice. "No problem for me" She said.
"Oh great" I said reassured. "You know, I found you as a kid..." said I. "Yes, but you asked me to take the form
of an adult" She said. "I only did that because we were thrown naked into a room and I didn't like the fact you
were a naked kid" I pointed out. "So, I changed" she said. "Yeah, you did" I said back. "I woke you up when you
saw me" she points out. "Yeah... you DID do that, yes" I said. "So... Why re-act our world with shopping? This
world is far superior!" I remarked. "You really think that?" she asked, frowning, in a voice that I felt slightly
offended by.

"So what do we do now?" she asks while we climbed the stairs. "I don't know... maybe I transform
myself into a woman?" I said suddenly. She stops. "Do it" she says. I closed my eyes and said "WOMAN" and opened my eyes again.
"Did it work?" she asks curiously. "I don't know... I don't see anything" I remarked. "Maybe I'm flat-chested?
wouldn't be a surprise IRL if I would have been a girl... Ah, no, that doesn't belong. No, still a guy" I said.
"Why not start small?" she said. "Small?" I asked back. "You know... wish IT away?" she said. "... and then
build it. I would show you, but you would just wake up again" She points out. "No, let's not do that at all" I said sharply.
"Why a woman, though?" she asks curiously. "'Cause your sex has it easier then us" I said unknowingly. She let out a sigh
and suddenly walked further on her own. "What? What is it? Constantine?" I said, following her. Suddenly I collided with a
person. A whole crowd appeared on the second floor and Constantine was nowhere to be seen. "Watch it!" Yelled a guy and pushed
me away onto another guy sitting on the edge of the balcony. "Watch it!" said this guy and pushed me back. I got
pissed. "No, you watch it!" I responded and pushed him with my whole body, causing us to fall over the balcony.

Luckily I discovered I had super-strength and with one hand I catched the edge and with the other the foot of the guy I made fall.
"Wow, that was close!" I remarked. I looked down and saw the guy I was holding looked rather lifeless... I saw his neck in a weird
position and it was dragging on the floor. "Oh Jesus..." I said. I let him go. A hand reached for me, I pulled on the hand, making
a second guy falling down and break his neck aswell. "Oh God!" I yelled. I pulled myself up. Suddenly every Dream-character
began to yell, making a hurricane of noise. I ran away, they ran after me. It was as scary as in the movie Inception. Suddenly
I was in a room and out of the other door, guys in white came in. "No, not you guys! I'm NOT GOING BACK! You guys captured me for 3
nights in a fuckin' row and held me in a looney-house before I could escape. And fuck the talking Taco-guy!" I said furiously, remembering
a past event. I said out loud "KATANA" and swung my arm, while grabbing an innocent Dream-character. "STAND BACK!" I yelled, while
holding my weapon against his throath. "OR I..." I began, realizing it was not a katana but a plastic knife you find in fastfood-chains
like McDonalds. "... slith...his...uhm, throath?" I stuttered. For a second I thought I was fucked, but the crowd seemed to take
my warning seriously. So I just went into it. "STAND BACK!" I yelled. "Easy, easy" said the men in white "Noone should get hurt". Out
of the other door, a cop-woman came in with a gun "Oh, no" I cried. I was so not in the mood for my brain to simulate what it thinks
a gun-wound would feel like. "What are your demands?" asked the cop. Now, from my experience with movies... and I watch alot of movies...
this was not going to end well for me, it never did in the movies. "I want Constantine!" I yelled. "Ok..." said a guy in white and got
closer. "But let him go, take me". I was more then happy to replace the two.

"No! My husband!" yelled a lady in the background.
A crowd formed around us. The cop holding her gun at me, the white men getting closer. A woman crying.
I almost began to laugh how absurd this situation was going, while all I wanted to do was talk with Constantine while walking
down a road. "What's happend now?" Asked Constantine, pushing her way through. "Constantine!" I yelled and threw away the guy to his
crying wife, making them stumble. I grabbed her hand and threw the plastic knife at the guy while yelling "take this with you!"
but rather then falling on the floor, it pierced the guy head and fell down dead. Everyone, like the cards in the world of Alice
in Wonderland, jumped in the air to get me. I fell down on the floor and yelled "Constantine, do something!" She bended over me and
created a bubble that defended us and suddenly a white flash appeared and we were in an empty room, but the same house.

My vision was distorted. I heard a voice. It said "Hey, there. My name is Paula!" It seemed my vision was zoomed in, suddenly I saw
I was looking at breasts. "Ack!" I fell backwards and restored my vision. A woman was standing there, with a huge cleavage. "Holy, STOP
you going to wake me up!" I yelled. She laughed. "You are not used to much are you?" she responds back. I didn't like her tone. "Who are you?"
I asked. "My name is Paula Shefe" She explained. "Paula Sheevee?" I asked. "No, look" My vision zoomed back in at a necklace that
resembled a dog-tag. "Ahn, Shefe" I remarked "Wow..." I said, "You DO can read in dreams! it's even crystal..." I began, suddenly noticing
I was, once again, looking at breasts "Ack!" I fell backwards again. "STOP MESSING WITH MY VISION!" I demanded. She responded
with more laughter. Constantine was chuckling aswell. "Damn you women!" I expressed. I began to walk away and they followed me.
Suddenly a kid came up and as frustrated as I was at that point I said "I'm gonna punch the snot out of that kid". "Sure" says
Constantine. "Murder, treason... what is child-abuse anyway?" she pointed out. "You're god-damn right" I remarked. "Falcon...." I began,
suddenly I was in my room, "... punch!". I hit a brick-wall. I shaked my hand, suddenly realizing I woke up.






- Because this is my dream journal I made it like it was a story. All the actions that happend, happend real. 85% of what is said was said indeed, some stuff were from other lucids I put into this to fill in a long gap where
just nothing happend. I began with only "I said" and stuff without emotions, but this got rather dull to read, so I made some emotions into it that I think would fit best. In short this is a story closely based what happend in ly dream. The character Paula original had more lines in my lucid, but I decided not to include them, because most of what she said was perverted. Figures the way she looked.

My dream starts out with me as a mermaid (?) urgently swimming away from captors on boats. My hands have been cut off in torture sessions; leaving only stumps in their place. But even with this obvious handicap, I am moving at an amazing speed. My captors have no gender to identify and they dressed their faces with black cloth, leaving only their glowing yellow eyes to peer out. I had no doubt that those eyes had the ability to see through the deep, dark water––that they had the ability to see me. That thought alone made me want to vomit.

There was probably more, but that's all I remember.

Date: 8 July

Wbtb time but I feel so tired, decide to have 1/3 latte nevertheless and do the wrong wbtb - straight into bed. A few mantras but I know this will lead to no lds as I feel super sleepy. I quickly fall asleep and guiltily wake up couple of times to confirm this is the case but am too lazy to wake up more. I decide to experiment with the third eye as a focus point to see if this increases my wakefulness and focus for an ld. Not really increase in wakefulness but it did serve as a sort of anchor.

LD: The dream starts as I find myself staring at some furniture, while still in sleepying position. One of those moments where you are not sure you are quite in and I concentrate more on the forehead point to get a better grip of the dream, then a bit later start moving my hands, etc. In the beginning I'm gently floating and spinning, it's not unpleasant. I want to make sure that have fully transitioned to this dream.

I think shortly of the location and wonder whether to do a direct teleport but decide against it. I get up, it's grandma's kitchen and for some reason I decide to take the stairs to go outside. I open the door with tk and also close it and lock it with my mind. It's almost as I could feel grandma's presence doing that. I get down the stairs and tk open the locked building door to get out. As I'm on the street I have a moment of excitement and tk lift a car in the air. Also do very short skateboarding down the street slightly above the ground.

My mind is very blurry as I try to remember any tasks for the totm. I recall the DV goal and look around to see if Sensei might be nearby. There's an older teenage boy on a bike with a slightly longer hair that could do. But let me try to get Sensei here. It's a whole street full of DCs so one of them has to be him. I concentrate and think about Sensei, turn to the side in the opposite direction and to my surprise there he is - tall with browish hair, etc. He smiles happily.

We go up the street which turns into a gray building and I decide we will be learning superpowers. I feel that instead of me doing all the controling as in tk, I should try to give the DC more free will and let it demonstrate super powers, while I'm just saying what we are about to do. There is a a pencil like object and I throw it in the air, trying not to hold it with my mind and say that BB should try to lift the object. Before he can react, it falls on the floor.

"Ok, maybe you can demonstrate fire magic instead", I hint. Sensei takes the initiative and produces a large peach colored napkin, unfolds it, throws it in the air and tries to blow in its direction. I now understand what trick he had in mind, he was going to ignite the whole paper with his breath. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen and the object just remains in the air for a while. I feel a bit guilty because maybe I have sabotaged the demonstration by being slow to understand the procedure and didn't put my expectation into it. I'm saying something mid-sentence when the dream abruptly comes to an end.

Non-ld: I have an earlier non-ld where BB is on some other platform online and has organized a dream game where we have to gather pieces of a puzzle.