memorable

12.22.2012

Prison Camp and Dying for the First Time (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Just a mere nap, and I have this crazy experience, damn, it felt like it was at least a 10 minute dream, or even more. It felt so condensed, a lot of gaps in between, but those parts I recalled had huge significance in my overall experience.

And I died, which is a first thing, and I was in prison, so obviously, my feelings of being trapped is related to how I feel about people in general and the image I'm trying to sustain, but knowing that trying to do so might actually send me into deeper and more difficult tasks to get out of.

I was meditating, and what a perfect dream to signify that I'm trying to get out of, my thoughts and attachments of life.......And to finally reach freedom in this dream was so amazing, until a small ad hoc of soldiers shot me down like I was nothing.

Now on to the dream. There's a lot of sexual references here, but there wasn't anything sexual, just a lot of representations of how I conceptualize certain things, and the mere mentioning of that representation isn't going to be a bother, except the death of course, or it could be a joy to some sadists.

So, let's go on with the dream.

I'm on the run, I don't know where I am, but I do have a weird connection to this place and the nooks and crannies of a few specific areas. It's like a dungeon, and I'm constantly finding myself going up stairs, random hallways, reaching upper levels where there's natural sun light, but never going too far into the light.

My mind is mixed at this point, so many interchanging thoughts at once ranging from the fear of possibly being found out, captured, and recieving a more cruel punishment for endorsing the escape of other prisoners. I felt I had obligations, but at the same time I felt I needed to engage in this neutrality of trying to help others or save myself.

I needed other people to find ways to know more about the large Prison/Dungeon Camp I'm in, and the gargantuan size of this area, the many areas within it, all too much for one person to even conceptualize possible escape tactics for freedom.

There's too many things going on at once that it's hard to keep track off and make it into a cohesive and comprehensible chain of events. I remember someone in a black latex suit, a female, probably resembling Catwoman, that I would end up helping or trying to avoid.

Her role in this was temporary, and I feel I also met Robin as well, but his purpose fades away quickly. There are guards coming after us, and I remember that each time that I run, I end up going to a specific set of stairs that leads me to a myriad of paths that I can take.

I also noticed that there are anal toys laid of on the right side about 2 feet away from double doors consisting of dark red colors with 4 rectangles going vertical formed as if they were split from a bigger rectangle on the door.

Seeing the anal toys kind of bothered me, and I won't go into full description of what they looked like. I remember running up stairs that are made of concrete or some kind of gray marble materials with a red carpet in the middle of the stairs going all the way up and down the areas of this huge prison camp.

When I go through the double doors, random things happen. I remember falling down a deep ditch, feeling perfectly fine, and them climbing my way up to get to more doors to have to choose randomly.

Basically, the whole dream was full backtracking and pinpointing important locations and adding on to the mental map I had in my mind. It involved a lot of practice, a lot of trail and error, but I eventually learned the nooks and crannies and found myself at higher places in less time than I thought.

Then I tried helping a few random people escape, and when I tried to escape, I felt I needed to go back to the prison to help more people.

I don't know why, but I just felt I had to be responsible for saving some people. I keep using that area with the double doors and the anal toys randomly placed 2 feet away from the doors as the major reference point because I know anything beyond those doors is has subjective outcomes.

I eventually meet an old man who I'm confused as to whether or not I'm helping him, or he's helping me. Anyway, after escaping guards inside the large building, I head outside and find an Asian man is coming inside the base.

The electrical wired fence opens, and my perception of it opening or closing is a bit skewed. It looks like it's opening, and the old man dashes for the gate as the Asian man goes through it; he's wearing a gray hoodie, and he looks like he's in his mid 20s.

I can feel the electricity surging in my hands for a while, but I took my hands off the fence quickly and dashed a bit to avoid it completely closing in on me and possibly shocking me.

I follow the old man while looking both ways on the highway.

The cars are kind of going slow at the moment, and I head to the left side of the highway where the rough part of the part is. I see a vehicle that crashed for a while now, and decided I should hide there , but I wanted to catch up to the old man.

I saw soldiers coming up, and as I'm trying to play things off like I'm a normal citizen, things start getting hectic. I turn to the right to get a peek of the soldiers, they were wearing dark gray uniforms, and they're holding to old rifles that look like they were from U.S. Civil War times.

A random soldier starts screaming, and everything goes in slow motion for me. I turn my face to see what's going on, when in fact the soldier is screaming in a foreign language while pointing at me. I become shocked, and I tried to run, but it's too late.

The soldiers, at least 10 of them, shot me right where I was standing. I immediately drop on the floor with no control whatesoever, and I remember being dragged immediately by someone, and that's all I remember.

I haven't been on in awhile since I haven't had a dream I could remember all the way. This one I watched porn before I took my nap...and I was wishing horrible things onto a person I really trusted. But before I went to sleep I said I wanted to meet the guy I have a crush on now, clearly that didn't work since this dream happened.

I walked into a big house, it looked more like a mansion. Kris was there and some ole lady I'm guessing it was his moms. They were sitting on a couch. I walked in and saw them laying there...I was confused but wowed because of the huge and beautiful house. I said hello to Kris and the lady and she waited for me to introduce myself. For some reason I couldn't. When I got ready to Kris cut me off and the lady said that it was fine because she knew all about me...and I was like you do? and she said yes! He never shuts up about you. you're special!

The mother called me tamatha but everyone else knew I wasn't her and treated me like a normal person and the girls whispered and said that he propose to her on her birthday for they had been together for a year and at dinner he was going to tell everyone that the girl rather said yes. the group of girls about 5 or 6 came they got into a circle and started writing his ma n I tried to be nosy and I said I thought they were whispering no fun. Kris saw me and said I have a surprise for you. He knew I was normal me n still said da girl name. I said you are treating me weird n he said what are you talking bout right before his big brother came. they looked exactly alike. He said that he was his older brother and that he did not look up to him.

Kris wanted me to follow somewhere n he was down in a cellar type thing crying. I went down to check on him and he pushed me against a wall, jumped up like he was spiderman and had his crouch in my face. he didn't have on boxers and there were I think 3 holes there. he wanted me to suck his dick I said no n tried to push it outta my face n he started to nut his friend or somebody saw us.

It turned into a false awakening cuz my sis busted into my room wanting me to see something n I said hold on got get my pants which I took off before I took my nap. 5:00 pm wen I woke up

The guy Kris who I have been talking about we were talking all semester. He has been acting weird all semester. I found his facebook sunday or monday and saw that he actually has a girl and that he has been lying all semester. I texted him today after the dream and I told him this dream and one I made up saying that he saw me and grabbed my arm and said that he was sorry for how he acted all semester it was because he felt guilty. he said that I shouldn't worry about it that it's just a dream. I asked him twice. and he lied both times. I honestly hate liars. I met a new guy and he honestly seems perfect but I'm not holding my breath. I'm tired of being hurt.

It was a long dream but i remember only the end of it and i think its becouse they awoke me and i forgot everything in an instant

I was in some kind of a party in the middle of a beatiful valley. The valley had green ,yellow and red light's shining all over it. In this party there were many people just having fun ( i remember looking the house from outside it looked small but inside was huge ). We were with some friends i don't even know we brought somehing ilegal or did something ilegal becouse the police came and everybody started running. We went outside where there was a yellow car like a Volkswagen Bug but weirder. Someone started the car and said we need to go i opened the trunk and layed there there was someone else there i don't really remember. The car made U turn while making it i was looking at the landscape it was night and the lights were still there shining. When we were about to go i saw another house next to the one i was in there were like 20 people just sitting there in a sofa i remember there were a lot of girls and this one guy gave a look so i showed him the middle finger and went on.

That's when someone skyped me and i woke up.

12.22.2012

You're Lucid Dreaming (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm basically doing a nose plug reality check and telling my mother in the dream that she's dreaming.

I kept doing the nose plug reality check and it's clear that I can breathe through my nose while I plugged it.

She's surprised, and I tell her, "Yeah....."

We were in a completely different dimension where it was just us, it felt like a nice place with absolute assurance of safety.

It's hard to describe, it was like a void, but the environment consisted mostly of yellow, orange, red, and other vibrant and bright colors.

There were some sparks here and there, and the ground we were standing on was invisible, which felt weird, but I didn't pay attention to that for very long.

_________________________

12.22.2012

We're All The Same (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was making constant trips to this Gas Station mini-store, and as I'm trying to get Pringles, Cheetos Puffs, or just a simple soda drink, I meet this man who looks Asian or Hawaiian.

He looks a lot like Sammo Hung, and he seems passive most of the time as a employee operating the cash register. I think my 3rd trip going into the store to get something, as I'm about to leave, he tells me,

"You may have this............(forgot the content on what he said), but we're all the same........we're like mirrors...."

The store itself had a lot of items to buy, and a lot of aisles for a small area. They were easy to pass through, and most of the items were a blur to me until I acknowledged that I wanted something from the aisle I was in.

The Pringles can was kind of deformed and a bigger than normal, and I had insane cravings to just buy the biggest snacks I could afford.

_________________________

12.22.2012

GPA Miscalculation (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

This obviously pertains to how I had to set up an appeal letter because of my GPA in college right now. I hope it gets approved >.<

Anyway,

I looked at a transcript that seems to be my own, and I looked down to see my GPA in waking life, or at least the GPA for the given semester of college. I checked the overall GPA, and it seemed fine.

I was busy speculating what I did so wrong here to make me get into having to set up an appeal response for financial aid. Then I realized, soemone miscalculated the GPA by placing the current semester as a separate row below the overall GPA.

This made the system probably assume that was my overall GPA, which wasn't the case, it was my GPA for this semester before 2013. I get irritated by this, and I immediately set plans to go to my Academic advisor.

Apparently a relative of mine was going to help me get to there, and I felt she would help me, but when I went outside, it seemed she was long gone. She was wearing a slightly lime green shirt mixed in with some blue to make it a little darker.

I can still see her, and I was basically following her for a few seconds until I decided to go find a path on my own. I used a teleport/transport medium of some sort that involved using the Thunder God Jutsu from Naruto where I have to touch an item that I can remember easily so I can transport myself there instantly.

So I picked my two items, and this elevator door appears out of nowhere, and when I open it, it's a portal to get to the Academic Advisors office for Biochemistry. It wasn't anywhere close to the office in waking life, but I had a feeling it would be in this dream.

I go through the door, and I'm now in a different dimension or location in the dream. I go up to my Advisor and provided her the information on paper, and she clearly saw the miscalculation.

She stated that she would go over this, and contact me as soon as she can. I feel a lot better, and honestly, if I could make this waking life reality, it would be SO AWESOME right now since I'm kind of afraid of what's going to happen now.....

So while I'm waiting for her to contact me eventually, I decided to summon the elevator door to transport me back to my dream apartment so I can let loose for a while. The amount of stress being lifted off was amazing, I felt like I could breathe again knowing that it was a miscalculation that would boost my GPA big time.

I don't know what I was doing in my apartment, but it was definitely something pertainin to just relaxing and not worrying about the outcome. The dream shifts where I'm apparently being contacted by the advisor, so I quickly set up the Elevator portal, almost forgetting an item I should use in case I wanted to quickly transport myself to the apartment again.

The advisor tells me it definitely was a miscalculation, and I looked at the new transcript to find an even better result than last time. I saw an A somewhere on the bottom, and a B, and a few other good grades as well. There was one "D," but I didn't mind at all since my GPA met satisfactory standards to continue receiving financial aid.

So I started thinking about things I can do to boost my GPA more, and getting motivated to work even harder because of me being able to endure through the small conflict I had when finding the miscalculation of the GPA.

I realized that the advisor had a mini-fridge behind her while she's sitting down, and apaprently, I could take some stuff and help myself out to a drink or some food. But I didn't take anything out, however, I have the mindset that I did take something out before, and I asked my advisor if she and her assistant wanted me to get them something to drink that I could put into the fridge.

They didn't mind, and I remembered I had a full liter of Ginger in my fridge back at my dream apartment.

While I was remembering that, I also get a mental picture of my dream apartment again, and if I had paid more attention to the format of the apartment, I could've been lucid. The thing that was different about the dream apartment, at least one noticeable thing now as I'm typing it out is that the Refridgerator was placed in a different position.

Instead of being on the left side if I were to enter the apartment and head to the kitchen, it was placed on the opposite side from where it was before. I go through the elevator portal again, and I quickly opened the fridge to grab the Ginger Ale.

I also noticed that I had a few other things in the fridge, like the soda I picked up from the previous dream where the guy told me that we're all the same (the Sammo lookalike dream character).

I quickly go through the portal once more, and realized I don't need to worry about fixating on an item to transport myself anymore if I have a portal that appears with my mere mention of expressing my will to its manifestation.

Maybe I should do this for meditation.

I then get random dream shifts of several areas that looked like they were mixed from other areas in waking life. I saw a few random dream characters and a few familiar faces here and there. There was one girl I saw that liked me in High School, but I quickly ignored her.

I can't remember anything else that happened in the dream.

_________________________

12.22.2012

Her and my Father (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I just remember my girlfriend meeting with my father, which was something I was very afraid that was going to happen.

The same encounter that I tried to avoid ended up being casual and nothing of conflict ironically. But I still had my guard up, trying to listen to my girlfriend respond to my father.

Things seemed okay, and my father was helping her out by picking up and carrying the suitcases she had in the trunk of her car, which was weird, because it wasn't the van/jeep at all.

She looks down at the trunk, and she seems a bit phased out, and she has her mouth slightly opened while she's looking down. I felt worried that maybe she didn't know what to see to the both of us, and before I tried to comfort her, I forget what happenes next.

I had an awesome astral dream last night! I was in a very high dimension with another person I know (guy I like) and we were communicating with each other with light! It was so beautiful!!! I saw his 3rd eye chackra glowing and felt the light enter through mine and light up all my chackras, there was electricity everywhere and I sent light to him and could see him receive it and process it in colors. It was so beautiful and so easy.

7 Tornados

I was looking out of the windows of an office building. I showed someone some strange looking clouds with a circular pattern in them. I knew a storm was brewing. This was a nasty looking cloud. I thought it was a funnel forming.

I was getting really nervous--then I saw a funnel--then several. In the end I saw 7 or more. They were basically everywhere. I tried to run to a safe spot, but ended up losing my house (?) and couldn't find a good place to hide out. I decided to take cover in a room in the office building still by a window. I couldn't find a better place.

Eventually I ran into a bunch of people going about their business, and the tornados were no longer an issue. One of the boss ladies said she worked in cancer. I said, "Oh, oncology," as though I would impress her by knowing that. Then I went on to tell her about some food synergies that would help fight cancer. She didn't like me trying to school her on her field, so I left, but as I did, I said, "How can you absorb A, D, E, or K without some fat?" (They are fat-soluble vitamins.)

Dream Skip

I saw some men with low-profile derby style hats. They all looked the same and I thought everyone looked Affected. Then I said, "LUCID DREAMING!" and started laughing. The exclamation and the laughing were both beyond my control, so it was a more genuine laugh than if I were in control. It was very strange, and a good release on both counts.

I wanted to get more control, so I looked at my hand. I saw my fingers and didn't even try to count them. I knew I was dreaming. It was a very strange feeling.

I ended up waking up, but closed my eyes and went back to sleep. I was very tired, so I focused on sleeping again and immediately was slipping into lucidity. It was like my waking world world was fraying into the dream world.

I heard my son talking to me and wondered if it was real or a dream. I eventually figured out I was dreaming. I woke up and relaxed and immediately was going back into lucidity. I didn't really have to try. As soon as I began thinking of falling asleep lucidly, it was already happening. This time I felt my body buzzing. It was awesome. I tried to think of a blonde I fancy, but I couldn't make her materialize.

This pattern finally came to an end as I had to wake up for work. I believe this was all induced by a late cup of coffee that wouldn't let me sleep. I tried from 12:25 to 1:40 AM. I then got on the computer until 2:40 AM before going to bed and going through this lucid experience.

This is kind of a long one. It's made up entirely of dream characters. The family bears no resemblance to my own, I'm not even female in the dream. I'm a little boy for most of it. I gotta say though, I love storyline dreams.

I know a little came before this, but I can't recount it clearly. I'm a little boy of about five, my Grandfather is a doctor and he's gone mad. He has somehow figured out a way to turn us into living ghosts, we are not dead, but we aren't corporeal anymore. Myself along with my seventeen year-old sister, my mother and my father, have been forced to follow him around as spirits. He keeps us tethered to himself. He takes us to his home. It's a long, spacious, one story house. The carpet in the living room sometimes looks faded orange, and sometimes faded gold. There's a dark wood table, and behind it a dark china cabinet with diamond beveled green glass faces. I know that grandmother is resting in one of the rooms on the right side of the house.
He's explaining to us our purpose, and he summons his wife into the room. One of my aunts is helping her. Grandmother has faded red hair, one of the family trademarks, my sister has red hair just like hers.

The doctor explains that the exposed power lines on the wall to our left are to a machine that will temporarily make us solid. He lowers a gas mask over his face and turns a knob. The air turns frigid. We are literally frozen solid. We can't move. Grandfather explains that Grandma has been sick, and that he plans to make her well using parts from our bodies. Well, one specific part. Grandmother is suddenly lacking her head, now looking like a mannequin. He removes my sister's head and starts to put it on Grandma's neck.

Obviously, father is not happy with this turn of events. While Grandfather is distracted he summons the will to move and as a spirit shoots over to the exposed power lines, intending to rip them from the wall and electrocute the doctor.
(right now Father looks a little like these guys http://www.se51.net/wp-content/uploa...st_hound-4.jpg)
The first handful of cables won't part from the wall and he's tugged back to the wall face. Father grabs another power line and tears it free. Before he can attack him, grandfather wills him out of the window and sends the currents of electricity through father.

Father hovers in the air. "I will not let you take her."
"Then it will be you instead..."
"So be it."
Grandfather intensifies the electricity (apparently by will alone), but it has a different effect than he intends. The electricity gives father power, he alternates a cartoony yellow electricity and more realistic flashes of blue, the longer I look at him the more changed he becomes. He looks younger by the second, a stooped older man no longer. His hair regains color, his eyes turn bright and sharp, his back straightens and shoulders broaden. I see what he looked like as a young man. He lowers his head and smiles.

The smug look fades from Grandfather's face. Father kills him, but I don't see how. My sister magically regains her head, and grandmother hers, and we return to normal.
Then, as though nothing strange has happened, mother and sister are talking about how we should spend our visit to Grandma's. I may only be a child but I think they're nuts. I go outside to play.

There's a subtle change in the dreamspace, the house we were in had almost the same feel as an apartment, or a city home. That it was snugged in next to other residences. This house is different, it's wide open, solitary. It's a pale shade of yellow, with a wrap around porch and flowers hanging from the beams. I run out into the backyard. It feels familiar. The grass is dark green, lush, a little overgrown and there are tiny colorful flowers growing in it. There's rotted out hollow tree laying near a faded cement path. To my left is a storm drain tunnel, across from me are woods.
(I haven't thought about this place since I was a kid, I only went there once with a babysitter. She pretended we were on an adventure, she was going to show me a special place. It was out in the woods, and had a secret air about it.)
Out of the corner of my eye I see an R.O.U.S nosing its way out of the fallen tree. It's about the size of a crocodile, scaly and diseased. I understand that things are about to get scary, I notice the creature but I'm stuck in the storyline of the character. HE hasn't really seen it yet, so I cannot do anything.

Then it gets worse. Across the concrete, a pack of deformed inbred rednecks burst from the trees. They're splattered with blood and carrying gore encrusted baseball bats. Storyline dictates that they don't see me. I crouch behind the fallen tree, I can feel the tree shaking with the movements of the creature struggling inside. The rednecks mount the steps, I hide next to the wall of the house. Looking outward they won't see me, they'd have to look down.
Because I've moved, the creature (finally freeing itself from the log) doesn't see me, and runs up the stairs to join the creep-pack. I know that they've been on a murdering spree, traveling between all the country houses and killing anyone they find. I can hear screams from inside the house.

I run away, straight for the fence bordering the property. I can see a line of people making their way toward me dressed in S.W.A.T armor and carrying guns. I go through another set of gates, it's only then that I realize it's not a gate. It's a cage. An arena wrapped in chicken-wire around wood veins.
One of the group asks "What do you think you're doing?"
another shouts to their leader, "Hey, we've got a stray!"
The leader takes off his helmet and says "What're you doin' here kid? Are you crazy?"
"My family..." I look over my shoulder and he does too, we see the murderers leaving the house.
"I see.." He hands me a gun. It's huge and heavy, I'm terrified. "You don't happen to know how to load that, do you?"
Mute now and close to tears, I shake my head.
He drops a black canvas bag at my feet, it's already open. He pulls out white shot-gun shells and commands me to hold out my hand. He gives me the bullets hurriedly. The fence begins to shake and rattle, the howling reaches a fever pitch. He shows me how to load the gun, after the affair with my grandfather and the random murderers I'm expecting a trick. I keep scanning his face for signs of dishonesty.
"I can't make any promises, kid, but stay close and I'll try to keep you alive. You might have to wait until their almost on top of you to shoot, they're quick bastards."
That does NOT reassure me. I'm afraid that all of this is a trick, that he's a cruel man who would give a child a gun and hope for life just to allow me to be cut down when the bullets do nothing.....


-Fifteen Years Later -

The story jumps. I'm a different person, an aunt of the boy who went missing. There are rumors about Hunters in the area who might have taken him on and raised him. I've gone to see if it's true. I see him from a distance. He's a young man now, tall and all lean muscle. He is returning from a hunt, glorying in his physical prowess and the admiring looks the others send his way.

I sneak into their meeting hall and their leader gives me a small nod. He's the one who contacted me about the boy, not so I could take him, just so I'd be assured that the boy was safe. I see him enter the room, he's wearing a loose grey shirt and his wispy almost orange hair is barely contained under a cloth cap. I can see my sister in him, his pale skin, blue eyes, the shape of his nose. He doesn't notice me.

I briefly switch to the man's point of view. We're having a meet, just like we do after every big hunt, we get together and discuss problems. I understand that someone may bring up my existence here. I am clearly of outside blood, all those around me are dusky-skinned and dark of hair. It means nothing to those jealous of me that I have hunted with the pack since I was a child. They were born into it, and adoptions were unheard of until I came along. The Leader looks at me, then sweeps his eyes over the crowd.
"We will have our meet, but first we race."
This was his way and I silently send him my gratitude and applaud his cleverness. I am the fastest, I always have been. Before each meeting we take the Death Run, the winner is beyond scrutiny. This is the way he has kept me safe, I always win, no one can question my presence in the pack.

I'm the woman again. The leader claps his hands and the pack takes off. My nephew is so quick, almost a blur. I know I have to keep up with him, if I lose him I'll never see him again. He is way ahead of them, I am quick too, I pull ahead of the pack.
The death run is an obstacle course, built spiraled like a snail shell, obviously made more difficult if you are moving quickly. I don't remember all of, the last part I see before I wake up is stepping stones jutting from the inside curve. I see my nephew fly down them and then nimbly leap to the opposite side of the hallway and disappear through an opening there.

This was the third or fourth dream I had of the night, after my second or third dream I got woke up from my friend calling me to pick up from school but I was going in later today so told him sorry and that I didn't' need a ride. Well, the next dream I had he was in it. We were like scuba-diving or something of that sort, in this body of water that somehow appeared to now exist in the driveway in front of his house (don't ask me how this is possible), and after the third or fourth time scuba-diving my friend died from drowning. But the dream went on, and in the dream I was expected to feel sad and etc, but I didn't really feel that bad, it also feel like I know this was going to happen, like I sensed to coming (his death). But I just started talking to these other kids at my school instead of usually talking to him. It was odd.

[INDENT]

12.19.2012

Akashic Records and Deep State Meditation (Note)

Spoiler for Personal notes:

I'm getting better with meditation, but I still need to improve on staying up straight. I don't make it a priority, but I just want to make sure I'm positioned in a comfortable position.

I want to consider meditating while resting on the bed, but that's an challenge simple because the awareness and willpower has to be augmented.

This is why I prefer the Indian style pose, or half or quarter lotus pose while meditating.

I'm definitely positive why I want to understand the concept behind the Akashic Records, and use them as a progressive base for improvement, seeing probabilities that I can take to the best of my abilities, and seek nothing ambition in making sure these possibilities are things that will benefit me.

I also realized that I'm still attached to a few things before I can even meditate. I realized that I tried helping too many people who continue to take advantage of my help. It's about waking life, not on Dream Views.

People are so amazing, wanting help, but not understanding how to actually appreciate the methods in which they receive it. Took passive in their thoughts, one moment they're so happy of the advice you suggested to them, and the keyword being SUGGESTED, not forced.

There's no point giving "advice" if you shove it down people's throat. I admit that I did that a few times with a few people, but that's only because I cared about them, or at least thought I did.

The important thing here when learning about Akashic Records is that I need to eradicate what people think about it. I know it's not a literal place you go to, but rather a frequency you align yourself into. If people don't believe in that, by all means, don't believe in it.

It's all for a high level of awareness of what one can do in their life and the steps they can take to understanding the outcomes that are most likely to occur if they partake in a specific action.

It's your life if you don't want to experiment with something like this, I shouldn't be responsible for your fate, and I shouldn't be interested in your life or your fate. The only thing that I can be sure of is my own fate, and that this is merely an experience for growth of knowledge, love, and much more.

The more I constrain myself with people I thought I respected and saw as people to look up to, the less likely I'll meditate with confidence.

People are absolutely entitled to their own beliefs, and I should just accept that. Some people change, some people remain conservative and blinded and ignorant because they are afraid of trying something new.

People who don't take failure so seriously and make it something negative that should be avoided at all costs are, in my opinion, just too afraid for change.

Ultimately, it's the simple fact that we can't conceptualize or understand something as abstract as the Akashic Records, or anything that sounds absurd at first glance.

Sadly, the only thing that would make it enticing if it's apparent that the person they think is absurd for believing in such things actually makes huge benefits from it.

Money Money Money Money....god people are so bothered with it that it's sickening. I admit money is necessary to get the rudiments of life established, but when you go into this indulgence where money only matters, just what are you?

I just need to realize that people are going to say a lot of things are crazy, and the more I consider their thoughts without doing the ambition through my own eyes, or...behind my eyes and into my mind, the less likely I'll succeed.

I'm sick and tired of my generosity towards others that I'm making slow by gradual progress in dissociating that with tulapforging, another concept people love spewing horseshit about and making it bad.

If you don't take the time to understand why people believe a certain concept, don't assume so much that it makes you look silly and completely lazy to learn.

There are many things that are crazy, but it's only because the concept is not understood in a practical way where it can consistently benefit yourself or society as a whole.

12.19.2012

Itachi Uchiha and Youtube (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

All I remember is that I'm posting a video on YouTube involving Itachi Uchiha coughing up blood as he's using the last ounce of his power to summon this Susanoo.

It's not the dark orange color like in the anime, it has more red into it, and it looks quite scary as Itachi has blood dripping from his mouth and his eyes completely blank.

I have been dreaming for sometime, a battle with a swordsman and a bikini clad cowgirl (like from DOA) have made that very clear. I am walking down a street, a little girl dressed in dark blue komino is walking beside me. I say something to her and she vanishes. Walking up to a building I see two guards. One suddenly raises a hand towards me as in a stop motion, I cut him down, the other is stabbed through the chest from behind. The little girl walks out the door. We do not go inside though. I continue walking down the street and am directed by a guard down a side path. I am told that the most powerful swords are made from the special red and brown nuts found in this forest. There is said to be a legendary green nut that grows deep underground that is said to make the most powerful swords. I begin to go into this cave alone. The girl will not follow me, I have the strangest feeling she is family. Walking deeper into the cave, I notice weird spike like roots growing from the ceiling. Walking further a voice speaks, enter the mole man. As I continue on the voice tells me, "Go back, no one shall have the sacred nut." I do not question him, I continue forward. The tunnel begins to get smaller, forcing me to crawl in a prone position. Moving further through the tunnel it begins to vibrate, the mole man erupts from the side of the tunnel and I awaken.

I just got back from a mission to save myself from a dungeon filled completely with water. And by the time I reached a new scene, I became lucid as soon as I stepped foot on my first elementary school.

Everything was calm. I walked in to the school from the side parking lot to the left with a man following me. There was no one around, it was all very quiet. I saw a classroom near the parking lot and decided to walk in. Me and this other man came in with me but just waited next to the exit door. I saw the classroom half empty with kids. The teacher looked a lot like my old 12th grade science teacher, Mrs. Kelly. No one made a peep at the moment. I decided to investigate the room for anything of interest. I don't know what I was looking for. I turned around and saw a girl that caught my interest. This girl was wearing a purple/white striped t-shirt. She had black long hair and was light skinned. I walked up to this girl seating in her seat and before I could talk to her, she got up and turned a piece of paper in to the front of the class. I turned her way and gave her a small kiss on the lips. She tried to resist at first but didn't bother pushing me away. I guess the ladies just love my kisses...

So after that kiss, I walked outside back with my partner, or the man, and continued to search for other stuff. I saw a playground to the left of the classroom that was completely empty! And because I saw lucid, I felt I had enough time to be able to attempt summoning Quynh again. I rolled up my sleeves from my sweater and started my job.

The scenarios began to change again. I don't remember much about how I got to different places but I remember the types of things I saw on my way to the next place. I was walking for a while and saw so many people walking past me. All of a sudden the whole place was filled. I noticed a few places here and there but there was only one who really stood out from the rest. Her name was Stephanie. She was the first girl I really liked and even though it's been six years since I saw her, I still see her face in dreams. I'm sure it has to do something with Quynh.

When I first saw Stephanie's face in the crowds, I noticed the structure of her face changed. She didn't stare back at me but it was nice seeing her again. I went by so many people at that time. It was a happy moment knowing it was all in my head while I slept.

I reached a corner and finally saw a chance to summon Quynh. I used my imagination and tried to summon her but failed. There, I thought of summoning her by extending my hand back with my face towards where I'm walking and yelled out, "Quynh, come here!" I did feel a touch but when I turned around it wasn't her. This happened on several attempts and for each time I failed, I pushed the wrong ones away in to the crowd. i even tried my best to picture her in my mind by imagining the Facebook picture she has on her profile. Nothing worked and as I continue to perform this kind of task, the more I realize she falling out of my mind.

The big mall I was now in, I just exited, where I felt my control was losing itself. I stepped on to the sidewalk of a street and tried to see if I can summon someone besides Quynh, like one of her friends. I turned to my left and saw a long way to the next corner. I had a choice whether to walk in to more crowds of people or on this long sidewalk. I chose the sidewalk. Before I could do anything else, I slowly woke up.

My usual routine, 6:45am WBTB, then back to sleep an hour or so later. It's taking me longer and longer to get back to sleep, which I think is actually helping me attain lucidity more often then if I just immediately crash.

I woke up and felt some quick vibrations. I was lying on my back, and I waited a few seconds to slowly open my eyes. The room was too dark as usual, which was the indication that I was lucid. I slowly disentangled myself from the blankets, and sat up in bed. Danny was asleep next to me in real life, and his DC was there now in the dream. I tried to get out slowly without waking the DC, because DC Danny can be pretty unpredictable sometimes. He bolted upright in the bed, said some gibberish, then crashed back down. Mkay. I got up and left the room after struggling with my eyelids for a second.

When I got to the livingroom, I looked out the sliding glass door that leads to the backyard, and it was snowing like crazy! I think my subC really likes snow now. Fine by me. That'll be a nice break from the heat when summer rolls around. I had to think for a second to remember that the TOTM I wanted to do was not snow, but the xmas ghosts. I didn't think of one specifically (I don't believe I chose past, present or future that I can recall), then the front door opened. What I can only guess was the ghost of Christmas future walked through the opened door, dressed like the guy from the movie Scream. Definitely not happening. I said "Oh HELL no!" and a bottle of water instantly appeared in my hand. I aimed it at the ghost and sprayed him with water. He tried to block the water wildly with his hands, then slipped and fell backwards out the door, and it slammed shut.

I ran into the kitchen, which opened up into my parents' big beautiful kitchen. There was an ethereal looking blonde woman standing behind the island counter. I asked her if she was the ghost of Christmas past. She said "Yes." So I said "Hey, I just hosed down the ghost of Christmas future, do you think he'll be mad?" She said "No, it's fine." So I said, "Ok, show me my past!" She walked to the refrigerator, opened it, and pulled out a bottle of Sierra Nevada Torpedo Ale. It was already open. I said, "Alright! I love this ale, I used to drink it all the time!" So the ghost said, "I know, it's from your past." really. I suppose that makes sense, I have put back quite a few ales in my day.

Then suddenly every square inch of the island counter and the other kitchen counters were covered with food. Not like someone had just cooked a banquet, but more like someone had just gone grocery shopping and hadn't put the groceries up yet. Boxed food, bagged food, canned food, bags of produce, etc. I said "What's all this?" The ghost replied, "This is the 'Food of Generosity,' which you have never denied your fellow man." D'awwwwwwwwwww

I think the dream ended or went nonlucid after that, I don't remember anymore. I didn't get all 3 ghosts to take me anywhere, but at least I know what my subC thinks of me: I like to booze up and spread my wealth. Kinda like Dionysus I guess haha. I'm the goddess of food, booze and parties.

Dream
Real-life influence
WTF

At first I am just an observer. I walk up a flight of yellow carpeted stairs, a young woman's father is saying that due to the policy of the company, for her boyfriend to travel overseas with them, he must first take her as his wife. It's impromptu, and at first the boyfriend is worried that she won't want to, so he keeps coming up with reasons why it won't be terrible.
"Or, you know, it can only be on paper. We don't have to act married at all."
She doesn't say anything, though she seems pleased by the prospect of marrying. (I picked celebrities to be my dream characters. Katharine McPhee was the bride to be, and Jensen Ackles was the husband. I'm assuming I only picked them because I just finished watching Smash and Supernatural.)
I wake up and roll over.
In the next part I'm with some other women about to get my hair dyed. There are two women in front of me who have red hair and orange highlights. I think that there is no shame in copying them, then I just decide to dye my hair black. I tell one of them about the time where the black 28-wash out dye wouldn't wash out. They criticize my box dye. I try to defend myself, but then just accept their judgement. I don't actually end up getting my hair dyed. From there I start trying to find something to wear to my wedding. I'm myself as far as I can tell. I have to pick from what's in this room, because time is short. I choose a black skirt I own in real life, and cast about for a suitable shirt to go with it. I ignore a pile of black shirts, pick up a weird shirt on a hanger, it's a dusty dark pink and looks kind of like a coat cut in half. I wonder why anyone would wear it. I find the one I'm looking for, a cream shirt with small green flowers on it. I put it on, but don't know where the skirt is.

Besides, I have to shave my legs. I walk into the next room. There's a shower in there, but it's also the kitchen. I notice a room separator that I can pull across and latch to the other side of the room to give me privacy. I pull it across but a woman unhitches it and tells me she has to examine my razors. I hand them to her. They are pink.
"What do you intend to do with these?" she asks, like I could kill someone with them.
"I'm going to shave my legs? Before the wedding?"
"Okay. Fine. But stay where I can see you."
I walk over to the shower. The water is already on. I really wish I could close the divider, now there are more people in the kitchen. I don't want to get naked with them watching me, so I get into the shower clothed. I take my shoes off and drop them outside the tub. My shirt gets soaked, I pull it off. I wonder what I'll wear now. I start to shave my legs and realize I don't have any shaving cream, I keep going anyway thinking I'll just have to be careful.
The woman interrupts me, but I don't remember why.

I get out of the shower. My mother- and sister-in-law (DCs, not people I know) run up to me with fabric swatches. At the time I knew what they were for, but now I have no idea. She has 4, I only really see the white one with small blue flowers on it. I choose that one. They seem ecstatic about my choice, saying they knew I'd pick the blue. They rush off.
I realize that the wedding is going to be in a few hours, and that none of my family is there. I really want to call my dad, to see if he can make it. My friend Cel, and also L. I wonder what L will think. Will she be happy for me? Or will she just remind me of my doubts?
...do I have doubts? I then ask myself who I'm marrying. Since I can't remember, but can recall in the dream having the other dream, I assume I'm marrying my boyfriend and not a DC. Once inside the sanctuary where I know my boyfriend will be, I walk to the length of pews where he's sitting. I start to ask him if he knows when the wedding will start, but he shushes me. A priest (in full papal regalia...oh my god I just realized he was dressed like the guy from Princess Bride XD haha...except with lines of red down the front of his robe.) makes his way to me. He says he's there to bless me before the union. He doesn't seem concerned with blessing my boyfriend. He holds out his hand to me and at first I'm confused. I don't know what he wants me to do. Awkwardly I lean down and kiss his ring. He looks down his arm at me and smiles with yellowed teeth. He says something that I miss entirely, but I know there's another part of it. I'm supposed to kiss him. A little disgusted, I press my lips to his for a good 10 seconds. I really don't like the look on his face when I pull away.
The priest pronounces me blessed and then leaves.
My boyfriend seems amused. I wonder if it was some sort of prank...
"Anyway. Do you know when it'll start?"
"A few hours I guess...why?"
"I want to call my dad."
"Why?"
"Don't you think he'd want to be here?"
"Yeah, I guess."

I decide to call my dad anyway, the drive will take a couple hours. Maybe I can hold the ceremony until he arrives. It doesn't feel like I have that much time.
My mind wanders, and I start to wonder what it will be like for us once we're married. I wonder if we will echo Liam and Saja or if I'll create the echo myself just so I can live it again.

I wake up and roll over.

When I fall asleep I dream about zombies. I am one and I'm traveling on a boat with some other zombies. The boat is sinking and one of my zombie friends is stuck. I use a giant scythe to slice through the thing holding him. We start walking together. A weird dog/bird creature is following us. It looks a little like a furry emu with a terrier's head.
"That was cool." It says. That seems so absurd that I burst out laughing. The creature shoots me an accusing look. "What are you laughing at."
"I'm sorry." I giggle. "That wasn't funny." Then I laugh more because I realize I'm a zombie giggling at a talking bird creature.

12-15-2012 -- This one started in a large house, though I'm not sure it matched up with any real life houses. I had a room set up near the front of the house, and there were lots of other rooms here, as well. Hints of some of the big BM houses from other dreams. I'm watching TV or playing games or something, but then end up walking further back into the house. I am walking down a hallway where in past dreams BM had a bedroom and bathroom. This time there is no sign of her, but there are several attractive young ladies, late teens to early 20s, who have bedrooms here.

It is the middle of the night, but for some reason most of their doors are open while they either entertain guys, or are just sleeping completely in the nude. I think several of them are girls I can remember from high school. I'm looking at one sleeping girl, and thinking about just climbing into bed with her and going at it. Suddenly it is a couple of hours later, and I did it. We had a great time, I enjoyed myself, she enjoyed herself, but it's all over, the dream skipped it, and I didn't have the chance to actually experience it. Le sigh.

Its now the next day, getting on to evening, and I am remembering this, and thinking about heading down that hall and doing it again, when some girl enters my room. She starts to pull the sheet off my bed, and says it was put on there by mistake. I allow her to remove it, because she is cute. Next thing I know, Rosemary is there, telling me I am going to be charged for the sheet. I ask what about charging the girl who took it for the sheet, but it's not important, and I don't really care.

There might have been an actual reasonable transition, but if so, I can't remember it. The next thing I am aware of, I am on a road somewhere, standing in front of a big rig which is slowly moving. It is pushing me along down the road, fairly slowly, but gently speeding up. Moment by moment I am more and more in control of the thing, kind of steering it by way of the large set of bull horns mounted on the front of the cab.

I'm slowly and carefully making my way to the side of the cab, grabbing on to the mirror both to continue to help steer, and to have a handhold from which to try and swing myself up into the cab and the regular seat. Problem is, it is getting kind of spooky as the road we're on is a very steep mountain road, very narrow, with a mountain rising up on one side, and a cliff dropping off the other. Somehow the process of moving to the side of the vehicle and trying to climb in is making the truck waiver a bit, and its kind of nerve-wracking. I half-succeed in climbing in, and half just decide to wait a little while for a safer area.

Soon I find myself inside the cab, driving along with the old guy who has taken me on as a sort of apprentice and is teaching me to drive a truck, among other things. He explains he has gotten me a sort of learners permit, so this is all legal. He also says we're coming up to a turnoff kind of area. The mountain area we're driving through seems very familiar, and there is a slight feel of caves and things, maybe a hint of Mammoth, though if so, it vanishes quickly.

Soon I've taken this turn-off, and I find myself driving through narrow streets of a small mountain town that somehow kind of reminds me of the version of Hogsmead at Universal's Islands of Adventure, though in the dream it was just a small town with narrow streets. There are lots of people running around, and my brakes aren't working too well, so I kind of end up pushing them around a little bit, almost like I was being pushed a few minutes ago. Nobody is hurt, no real harm done, but I wonder why people are so stupid as to not get out of the way.

As I finally get the truck stopped, I recognize the area I have come to. It is the ski resort area I visited with the church, back when I was a teen, the one with two rooms, one for the females on the left, one for the males on the right. Problem is, the room for the males was old and beat up, and the roof fell in, so we had to evacuate, and were forced to stay in a tent, instead. For some reason there was a shopping cart in the middle of it.

[We did take one ski trip as a youth group in our church, which formed the basis of this dream, though instead of some beat up hotel type place, in real life it was a very nice cabin that Gary Walker got us. This led to an entire category of frequent dreams about the ski trip. As I have gotten older, the dreams have become less and less frequent. The particular scene I am remembering here, of the collapsed room and being forced to stay in a tent was actually a dream from probably five to ten years ago. The second dream, relating back to the first dream that will be mentioned in a minute was probably something dreamed one to two years ago.]

For once it is summer, instead of winter when I find myself here, but I still walk into the hotel. It seems the beat up room where the guys were supposed to stay was torn down completely, and I can remember another visit a couple of years ago when I ended up talking to somebody working in the place who was a son or nephew or something of the people who had been working here when I was visiting as a teen. Turned out he wasn't, but he knew them, and had heard a tiny bit of when the room had collapsed.

Anyway, I decide to try and talk to them again on this trip, and enter the hotel. I try to talk to one person who I think might be the person I talked to last time, but he's busy and doesn't have the time to talk. The other person turns out to be the teen I talked to four or five years ago, but he is still a teen, which is why I didn't think it was him. As we're talking, some punks come in and are making fun of my hat. I am wearing a ball cap which is advertising some sort of great big bore hole in the area, and they think it is kind of dumb.

I have also asked about directions getting back to town, and they are telling me to just take the turnpike and it'll only be a few miles back to town. [Kind of odd as the ski trip was in California, as would be any mountains with the cliff-side switch-back style roads I was driving on, but the turnpike is in Florida, and I am kind of realizing the town I am in, though a mountain, is about where the turnpike merges into I-75. Very screwy geography.]

I just start to exit the building, when there is a hint of a lion laying down in a field, and I remember I sat down my gun. So I walk back into the hotel to pick up both my gun and my shovel. As I start to exit again, I hold them to my side, trying to kind of hide them. There are several large, gray elephants standing in the field, and though I try to hide my gun, they see it and kind of stampede away. I am walking down the street, approaching a closed up saloon that the guy I'm apprenticed to is looking at.

The place has a name of Morrisey's or Morrison's or something like that, and I find myself looking at a sort of tube of shot glasses that somehow look very much like shotgun shells, buried in the ground. I am pulling a couple out to look at them. The old guy is wondering what happened to the place, and why it isn't in business, anymore, and I find myself telling him a story I find myself remembering that seems like it comes from another old dream. [No idea if this one is a real dream, or just something created in this dream.]

Anyway, I am explaining how there was supposed to be a big chain of these bars throughout the area, with the original in another small town further up the mountain, but there were some funding complications and lawsuits and the like. This one was trying to get the right to open, but they could never conclude the deal, so while it was fully built, it was never opened. There was another one in another close town that opened, but was soon forced to close again.

:3