memorable

04.22.2012

Green Globe (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I don't really care too much to this dream, except for the fact that this possibly was a precursor to the dream I had with Eva and the Akashic records dream...

I'm walking somewhere at my University, and I'm following a group of people, but the traffic and amount of people here started to irritate me, so I thought of trying to teleport somewhere....

The opposite of that occurs, and I find myself instantly flying up pretty quickly. I look down, and was a little scared at first, but instead of trying to think about falling down, I looked up, closed my eyes, and imagine myself propelling upwards.

Then a white light flashes before more, signaling that I teleported out of the dream environment.

I'm now floating, and I see a Green globe, and I rotate it with my mind, and I decided I should go to Houston, TX.

I feel a pulling sensation from this green globe, and feel like I'm being warped into the area I wanted to go to...

I can't remember much from that dream..

_________________________

04.22.2012

Swimming pool of Toy Balls? (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside a play area that's full of what seems to be toy balls, or something like that? It was kind of dark though, and it seems there's always water in this area as well.

There's this random lady who is fairly huge, and we're just floating around, minding our own business. Then the lady started to say, "Daddy?" out of the blue, so I presumed someone else was with us.

I think I see a man who is shirtless, and is wearing dark blue shorts underwater, and the daughter I think lands on him. I was kind of concerned that her weight might cause his to open his air path in his throat, and possibly drown him or something.

Then all of a sudden, when I go back up to the surface, the girl is floating as well, and she's wondering where her father was, and I think she's close to even crying.

I go underwater again, and I see this white string near a drain that's sucking up the water, so the dad probably was sucked in there.

I can't remember much after that, didn't really care too much about this dream in the first place....too random...and it was too dark for me to associate anything from it...

_________________________

04.22.2012

Is that a Dragon? (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was trying to convince some people to look up at the sky, because I'm seeing a large creature flying, and it looks like a dragon in metal armor, it had that silver color to it with some slight hints of blue.

I think I saw a redheaded lady as well, not sure if it was Opheliablue, but I was trying to nudge at whoever it was to look up. Even when they did look up, all they did was shrug and have the "I don't know" expression on their face.

_________________________

04.22.2012

Eva and Akashic Records? (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

First of all, I'm glad I finally met Eva for once, she was a little bit more degraded from something...and man, this dream was scary.

I honestly thought I wouldn't have met Eva AT ALL, but it seems the intention worked by watching a few videos about her and Snake.

(I watched some short videos on the Akashic Records, and I wonder if this dream itself was the path for me to get there, seeing as you normally need a guide to shift you to the right path.....and clearly, I was following Eva like she was a guide....and there were guards.....so there has to be something precious within this library......)

Watch this video first before reading the dream if you can, there are some things that the lady said like "Cairo, Egypt" and such that you'll find that my mind did some homologous association with it the people in white robes...you'll find out what I mean...I don't know why, but I was browsing through DV articles, and typed "are the akashic recrods real?" on a youtube search bar, and found this late at night before I slept.

Things start out where I'm at an area that seems to be a green underground cave. I believe I'm in the lighter side of this area, and I finally see Eva.

There's something odd about her, there's this type of loneliness within her, she looks degraded, used up, raped, or something...it was kind of sickening, but the fact that I still saw her, she obviously had the intention of actually interacting with me for once for a little longer.

Her hair, it isn't blonde like it was before when she gave me the grey letter with the letter "M" on it with in a non-lucid I had a long time ago.

It was light orange, but you see, it looked like it was like the color because someone probably fried her hair up a little, I'm not too sure.

She looked exactly like Eva, she was quiet, but it was definitely Eva. She wore a very bright green military jacket, and she had it open.

And I saw her breasts, she left them exposed with her opened jacket, and her nipples were pink, maybe a little darker than that. I think the point of her projection was to portray that she was used up by someone or something.

As for her pants, it was the same with her regular biker outfit, it's just that the jacket was green instead of the usual Khaki type of color all over, and I believe she had black boots as well.

Her jacket was way brighter than this, so imagine it being opened completely, and you can see her bare skin and breasts exposed to you, with the edges of the jacket hanging on the sides of her nipples.

She gets close to me, but there's this type of barrier separating both of us, so she starts pushing as much as she can. I take a step back to let her open it fully, and I get closer to her.

"Eva...."

She doesn't look too desperate for small talk right now, seeing as how the look on her visage was a little bit depressed and sad. There were marks on her hair, and some of it wasn't complete. She was bald in a few areas, but she still had her long hair.

I follow her, and we go up some stairs, we haven't talked at all, I merely pick up her non-verbal cues. There are two characters talking to each other, and I stay behind Eva, completely relying on her to guide me through what seems to be a library.....

We wait for the two guys to finish talking, and it seems to be that they are wearing white robes like they're from Egypt....

(Okay something is up...but you'll find out what I mean after)...

I wait for Eva's cue to move, and she finally does, so I quickly go along with her, and we hide behind some shelves until the two Egyptian robe wearing characters move further to the left. Then Eva goes to a bookshelf perpendicular towards the direction she's going.

Like, imagine being parallel to the back of a bookshelf, and one being perpendicular to you....so I quickly dash to the bookshelf, slowly moved my head up to see that there are two or so guards on the other side.

I crouch back down, waiting for Eva to cue something to me already.

For some reason, I decided to be a little bold, and I start making a little whistle sound to attract the guards. I believe I did that because I thought the guard was too far to hear the whistle, but they pick up the sound a few seconds later.

I crouch down quickly since I saw the guard turn around immediately. I started to get tensed up for a little, feeling this weird tingling sensation in my head....I definitely made the horrible mistake in making that whistle....

I have a gun in my hand, and I believe Eva didn't have a weapon at all, so I guess I had to be the support in case things get rough.

(Normally, when I ignore a DC and get distracted with something else, they usually disappear, but she was still there....it's not my obsession with finding her that kept her there, in fact, my concern over her was temporarily faded because we're in a serious situation with the guards and everything).

I have my gun ready, and it has a cyan laser sight, and once I realized this, I quickly moved the laser sight to the edge of the bookshelf we're parallel to, because the guard might find the laser dot....but I already knew my feelings of being tensed up and fearful meant the guards were already too suspicious.

I wait having my gun aimed at the predicted path of where the guard's head should be...I started to get more tensed up, feel the guard coming closer and closer....

Then I see the side of a face taking a slow peak, and I slowly aim my laser sighted gun to their heads, but they quickly so their whole body to me and try to aim at me, but since he saw that he's not going to win this one, he's shocked, and an Exclamation mark appears on his head....

Definitely a Metal Gear Solid element there with the exclamation mark....

(It was like this, but the mark was light blue)

Anyway, since the guard was moving, I decided I might as well show myself to the others, but I didn't, I just popped my head over to the top of the shelf to see that the same guard told the other one that we're here.

So I decided to shoot the guard trying to contact Headquarters through this big swamp green radio phone....I believe I managed to shoot him before he did...

The same man with the radio phone wore glasses, a long brown leather jacket, and it he looked a lot like Ocelot when he was extremely old in MGS4.

Once he's taken care of, at least, I'm presuming he's dead or knocked out from the gun shot, I try to aim to the other guard that alerted him.

Then this other guard comes out from NOWHERE, and has holds a pump-action shotgun with one hand. I thought he was going to come after me first, but he's aiming at Eva, and she's still crouching down....I realized that she was too injured to react

He came so quick, that I couldn't even shoot him because my gun didn't even fire any bullets. He shoots Eva, I get fucking pissed, and the gun magically works, I shoot the hell out of the guy.

But instead of going to Eva immediately, I had to make sure there weren't any more guards around us, so I move forward to scan the area, and things are okay.

I take a look at some kind of weird base in front of me, and I believe I'm looking outside the library, like the door was wide open. There was this area with grass, but the type of grass you see in video games, where everything on the floor is just mashed up together.

I see the door to go to another base....and it's overall color is violet with some hues of bright pink....then I realized...

"Eva!!!"

I completely forgot about her, and I turned around, but I couldn't do it quickly, everything was going slow, the dream is starting to fade, and this would've been the point where I would've been lucid, since I felt so much emotion in this dream.....

But the dream fades quickly..

I wake up, but I still have my eyes close, I'm still thinking in my mind saying

"Eva....


Evaaaaa....


Evaaaaaaaaa"

I thought I should do a DEILD, but I might've forgetten the dream if I did...

I find it funny that despite finally meeting Eva, who had a few alterations like having orange hair (redhead), green jacket, and some other qualities.......I didn't remember her saying one word to me. Not ONE little word at all...

All she did was just guide me somewhere...and I honestly believe it was for the Akashic records, but obviously, because I was being stupid and whistled at the guards, I obviously wasn't prepared for it....

I can't believe one careless mistake I made would cause so many chain of events.

Soap Opera Castle

I was in the room with a woman who was the mother of a family in a soap. She was in her mid 50's with short, thick, slightly dis-sheveled brown hair. She was curled up on a sofa, and she said, "This will be the best story yet." She was referring to something that her family had done, not the fact that a soap is actually a story.

I thought she should be embarrassed about what her kids had done, but she didn't seem to care. Her kids were men. The butler was in the room, though I didn't see him. I thought the mother should be embarrassed with him there, knowing what the kids had done also.

The mother was looking out a window, or windows. They were large, plate glass. She looked out over a castle. My view was like in a helicopter as I flew over the land and got a moving view of the castle. It was incredible.

I could make out the architecture. I can't describe it, but the castle was isolated on an island, though still close to the surrounding mainland.

I was explaining to my daughter that they owned the castle. That's what it is to be rich; you can just buy everything there: the castle and all the land.

I said, "That must be a fjord?"

I came in for a close-up of the landscape. I saw hills with clover rather than a thick turf.

Dream skip

I was lying on a sofa with my boy. I was thinking about going to the store. All of a sudden I'm going to sleep. Clearly Lucid is in the room. Iwl, my windows were open and I'm very cold, so in my dream I can see my breath.

Clearly Lucid starts talking to me about our tomatoes, and he strated telling me what he thought about the rain and the cold on our newly planted tomatoes.

My breath was visible in the room. Even when I was breathing in. I thought that was odd. It kind of scared me. I kept focusing on my breath breathing both in and out noting my visible breath.

I then saw some kind of light as I was waking up.

I shut the windows in my room cause it's freezing in here.

REI

I was going to REI to use some points I had. Iwl I am a member and have credit there.

I started walking down a path to get to REI. It was night time and kind of spooky. I got to a a small pond that I needed to cross to get to REI so I could buy a life jacket.

I rowed across the pond. The boat was very unstable. There were large fish in the pond and I sensed danger if I tipped over.

I made it to the dock on the other side. REI was right there by the water. I walked up a bit of an incline and talked to a lady outside who worked there. I told her I was there to buy a life jacket.

Somehow I needed to get there 20 minutes before closing so their system could take the money and ring me up. It was barely 20 minutes before closing. She said that she couldn't ring me up because the system wouldn't have time.

I was pissed! It seemed so stupid. I said, "Fine. I'll buy it at the other REI. I went over to a rack where there were life jackets just for the trip back to the other side of the pond where I came from. I pulled one down but it was like a full length jacket. I got another and it was the right size.

I then saw a door that led to a room. If I went through, I could get to the other side of the pond, but I wasn't supposed to go that way. I asked about it, and they said I could. They were going to let me, but they said I shouldn't. I said, "That's OK. I'll take the boat and go the normal way.

The dream ended there.


DV DC

A DV DC wouldn't let me call them by name.

I had this dream where I was stuck. No matter what I did to try to wake up nothing worked. I can't remember entirely what happened. The only things I do remember is moving around and seeing black silhouettes or something like that flashing around me. I could feel my own body move and everything. At one point i thought I was awake. I was at school talking with my ex.(This dream or whatever it was happened some time after she broke up with me.) she said she wanted to get back with me and she was acting differently. That's when i knew i hadn't woken up. I even said out loud and fell to the ground clenching my chest
"This isn't real. I'm still dreaming and I haven't woken up." I said

Thats all i remember. That and finally waking up. I was terrified. I had no idea what happened.

This dream was very vivid. Much more vivid than my usual dreams. From the scenery (which was extremely detailed) to my emotions, to the way dream characters acted.

The dream began at an intersection. It was nighttime, but it was still very bright. This was due to the cars and the streetlights illuminating the road. I was near my school. But the road leading to it was very dark compared to the bright main road. It didn't look menacing or anything though. I was with 3 friends and we were the only people there. 2 of them were female and 1 male. I believe we walked to the school and entered it. We watched some presentation or something then we left the school.

We walked back to the intersection and began talking and stuff. I don't know why we were at the intersection at the first place. Soon everything became black. The streetlights turned off, and all the lights in the houses turned off. The only thing still on was the car lights, but they weren't bright enough to illuminate the road. It wasn't pitch black, but I couldn't see at all. One of the girls said we should go to the school. So they began walking. When she realized I wasn't following her because I couldn't see properly. She grabbed my hand and led me to the school.

We began talking about something. I don't remember what, but I was really happy for some reason .

We made it to the school and I entered it. I watched another presentation by principal Skinner (from the Simpsons). I couldn't find a place to sit, so I sat awkwardly in the corner of the room

Then we left the school and walked back to the intersection. I saw another friend and asked him if his phone was working. He said it wasn't due to the 'Blackout'. I replyed, but how can't the phone work? He replyed about something about satellites or something >_>.

All the lights were back on, but the group percieved the world as still in a black out. The traffic lights weren't working, so a gas station at the intersection (it just appeared there) built a McDonalds trafficlight. It was very bright and soon it told us we could go. WE began walking across the road and we continued walking until we saw a beautiful city in front of us. It was very futuristic (but small). There were 3 blue chrome like buildings in the front of the city. Behind it there were lights of all different colours and those lazers that appear during concerts (i dont know what they are called). In the dream I thought it was Hollywood for some reason.

I walked to the city and I saw yet another friend with his father. But they were wearing sleek black robes and they were about 5x taller than an average human. I don't remember if I talked to them or not.

After that I got invaded (this paragraph will contain Dark Souls terminology, so you may skip it). The person invading me was a Darkmoon Warrior wearing Robes. I used this magic attack on him (that isnt in the game) where a bunch of slashes appeared out of my hands (the dream is now in third person btw). It was dong approx 27 damage per hit. Soon he died and I continued.

I suddenly realized I was late for a train ride and that invasion only left me 2 minutes to get on it. So I ran to the blue futuristic train and got on it.

I dont remember the train ride except that it was a sidescrolling game from that point on >_>

I don't know why, but this was one of my favourite dreams So thank you brain

"We are the star called" If anyone has any idea where I may have heard that phrase to have it enter my dream, let me know. I can not for the life of me figure out what it meant, but it felt like it was really important to me in this dream! What was my subconscious trying to tell me?! As in my other dreams from the past, this was before I learned about Lucid dreaming and knew what sleep paralysis was caused by and everything. It's also written a bit different from my normal dreams because I just copy pasted it straight from my book of discovery, changing only the names (making them the first initial) for privacy sake.

Wednesday, June 1st, 2011

This morning I had a dream that I can barely remember but that felt important. I remember starting out in a busy harbor type place with lots of ramps, large steel containers and wooden crates of all sizes and colors. There are also a lot of ropes around hanging from railings and what not. There are a lot of people running around as well, but they are all in their mid twenties or younger, most are still children. I make my way up a 20 foot ramp in front of me, and as I do I pass a smiling girl who must be around 10. She’s a bit chubby and has dishwater brown straight hair. She smiles at me, then passes by me. I lose sight of her for a moment and turn to see where she went, but she’s gone. At the top of the ramp I make a sharp left to double back over a second ramp that runs in the opposite direction of the one I just came up to yet another level. The air around me seems distorted a bit, like there’s an invisible person there and I can sense rather than see them. My senses tell me it’s the smiling girl following me because she is curious about me. At the top of the second ramp there is a rope stretched out across the big walkway between the crates and containers. On the other side of the rope there are a bunch of people gathered in a group. A blond guy whose face I can not make out but whose hair looks like K is in the group at the end of the rope. He turns and smiles up at me, and slides a yellow bar up the rope so that I can zip line down to the crates they are on top of. I ride the zip line down and he puts his arm around my shoulder. He starts showing me around this small hangout, but I can’t remember much from that part of the dream. Then he takes me back to the other side and a few dozen feet right of the first ramp. There are a lot of people in their early to mid twenties grouped there talking. He takes me to stand in front of them and he puts his arms around me, leans over and whispers in my ear something like, “You are one of us, we are the Star Called (Or maybe it was Star Fall?)” Then he starts to kiss my neck and I feel woozy and slightly confused before I can hear myself thinking, “Why am I letting him kiss me? I probably shouldn’t let him do that, C(my husband) would be mad.” And I wake up. This dream was not accompanied by the usual sleep paralysis I have when I see K, and I never saw his face clearly. While I won’t call this a K dream, I can’t rule it out because the paralysis has been less and less every time I’ve dreamed of him, so it is possible that I have finally adjusted enough not to get paralyzed anymore. The whole dream felt very vivid and real, and when I woke up I felt a very strong urge to google something, but I didn’t know what. It was like I needed to learn something important, but I can’t remember what I needed to learn about.

So, anyone have any similar dreams? Anyone have any clue what Star called might be? Is it something I heard in a movie or book and just forgot? Or does it actually have some sort of real meaning? I still feel restless when I think back on this dream, like I missed something important.

I remember walking around an extended dreamscape and my awareness was rising slowly over time until I kind of noticed that I couldn't properly move fast and at some point I did an RC. I think that place where I finally became lucid was some bridge (it was day), and I was running around below it and found my movement capabilities insufficient, I got some strange feeling heralding lucidity and the RC did the rest. Upon becoming lucid it apparently also became night again.

Then there seems to be a gap, I don't recall anything specific at least.

I was really trying hard to keep myself in the dream, I was often looking at my hands as well as trying to keep my mind clear and for some reason got the idea to use Plasmids like in Bioshock (probably because people were running around which I didn't deem necessary), and after trying to equip myself with a random Plasmid I got fire and used it a few times, setting a dude on a bike aflame who suddenly decided to say that this bike was mine because I set him on fire. Then I tried to summon a random non-Bioshock plasmid but that failed. I tried to summon a Nova-like Plasmid (like the beam in Metroid Prime: Corruption), but since that failed as well I went directly with the beam Samus usually wields. After kind of defeating all idiots and some time dilation fighting scenes I got my normal Hands back and decided to do a first World Severing Seal, the pillars now significantly bigger than the last time (this time they were white and hollow, with a complicated outside), however the first 2 were not exactly standing straight. I thought about a bunch of things I wanted to do all along the way, especially about my dream guide. In the end however I started to notice how sensations form the real world slowly came in which I couldn't push away and I couldn't stabilize any longer, just as I was about to let it become day and though about trying to fly again I woke up.

The text is pretty short but the dream itself was pretty long actually, just that a lot of the things I did were repetitive exercises to keep up stability.

The dream I had last night involved me going to a city to stay with my dad during his visitation hours, with my brother and sister. Now this city would remind one a lot of Tokyo or even Rio De Janiero on a stormy day. It was rundown, and there were a lot of really tall buildings and skyscrapers, but it was still, how should I put it....A wasteland.

This city was supposedly here in America.

As I was arriving in the city on a plane, the city was being attacked by a monster (supposedly, as I never actually saw it).

The dream faded in and out to another scene where I was running through a trench like system between buildings towards cover under a small stone bridge.

As I entered the space underneath the bridge, I caught sight of a steel door to what looked sort of like a bunker. I entered into it, and closed the door; locking and barring it. The inside of this "bunker" resembled that of a house, but the floor was made up entirely of dirt and small puddles.

I hid in an alcove, waiting for the "monster" to pass. As I was waiting, the steel door started to vibrate viciously as if something was trying to get through it. As the vibrating subsided, I began looking around the building I was in. Towards the steel door was two regular sized rooms across from each other in the hall. Further down the walkway was an alcove on either side. On the left was a couple of windows, a books shelf and a table and chairs.

Past that was another hallway, with smaller rooms containing one bed. There was only enough room for the bed and to open the door in these rooms and that was it.

Then the scene changed and I'm in a different house with my siblings and father. There are three girls there --sisters-- who we apparently know.

We are here for a long time, hiding and waiting until it is safe to go back outside or leave. While we are here, we try to find things to do in our free time, but there really isn't much because we have to be quiet.

At some point, me and the oldest of the three girls end up having sex (I hate dreams like this. There's all this interesting stuff going on, and then something completely random like this happens xD ).

In another scene, planes are flying over the house dropping bombs on the city, which has literally become a post apocalyptic war zone. The sky has turned a bright red color as the planes drop their load. The bombs when they explode, release a poisonous acidy gas that is a vibrant red and if inhaled, becomes a fast acting poison whose symptoms resemble that of radiation poisoning.

The scene changes again, and the chemical has dissipated and it is safe to go outside. Laying outside in a heap are two VERY large lizard creatures, that look vaguely like a cross between Godzilla, a dragon and a Spinosaurus.

The dream ends there, and I wake up.

A similar music track played during the training part of this dream:


I'm some sort of private investigator, and I'm searching for evidence with 2 coworkers in an apartment.
I quickly realize that I don't seem to have any gloves on me and ask one of my friends to give me some.
After putting on the gloves I go to the kitchen and start opening all the cabinets.
I wonder what I'm looking for...

"Hey, what are we looking for again?"
"Are you serious?"
"Uuh... yeah..."
"*sigh* we're looking for a quantum accelerated pipe."

... wait what?

"Like, for smoking?"
"For smoking weed, yes."

A quantum accelerated... wtf?
I keep searching and end up finding the most glorious of smoking devices I have ever seen.
It seems to be made out of some sort of glass and it glows in all kinds of colors, depending on how you angle it against the light.
But then finally it dawns on me... a quantum accelerated pipe... yeah... right...

I rub my hands and further investigate the pipe.
I am sad to find out that it isn't loaded. I would have loved to smoke some weed.

I remember that Yuya told me that I should break out of the dream plot when I become lucid.
Oh! And she wanted to teach me about time dilation!
I become very excited and quickly teleport myself to Teraluna.

I end up in a flower garden. Yuya is attending to some flowers right in front of me.

"Yuya Yuya Yuya"
"Hi?"
"Hi! Time dilation and stuff!"

She grins.

"Calm down! You're going to wake up."

Right...
After attempting to get myself into a calmer state I take a look at my surroundings.
The flower garden is beautiful. All of the flowers are very colorful and they smell great.
I touch and smell some of them until I decide that the dream is perfectly stable.

"So... the thing you call time dilation."
"Yes!"
"Well, for starters it isn't really time dilation."
"I guess. I couldn't think of a better word to describe it."
"Right. So, there's quite a few ways to approach this."
"I'm pretty sure I know which way works best for you, but first of all we need to work on something else."
"Oh?"
"Well, it's sort of directly related."
"Sure, what is it?"
"Your awareness in dreams."
"I've noticed that you sometimes are extremely aware when you're here, but only for short periods of time."
"You experience awareness in short bursts rather than continuously"

I quickly realize that she's spot on about that.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, it's pretty bad."
"Good, so first of all I am going to show you a technique to hold a certain level of awareness."
"Great!"

She drops the flowers.

"Let's go for a walk!"

We walk through the flower garden and talk some more about time dilation.

"Alright, stop!"
"Hm?"
"I want you to tell me the color of each flower on the plant we just passed, without looking."
"Err, sure? Let's see... it was green, yellow, blue, yellow..."
"No, you're cheating."
"I am?"
"You're using your sense of global awareness to tell what color they are without looking, what I need you to do is to remember what color they are."
"What? All of them?"
"Yes! I want you to remember every single detail of what you experience."
"Let's keep walking and pay attention."

This is going to be hard... like, really hard.
Is it even possible to do this?

"Sure it is, especially since you're dreaming. Remember when I told you the difference between focusing on something in waking life and in dreams?"
"Oh yeah, that's right."

I focus really hard on everything I see, even the smallest of details, and try to take mental note of them.
We walk past a similar plant, with approximately 50 flowers on it.

"From top to bottom, go!"

I try to remember and surprisingly, accessing my memories feels natural and easy.

"Red, red, yellow, blue, yellow... err, ultraviolet?, red, blue, blue..."

I keep going through about 20 of them until Yuya stops me.

"Hey hey, awareness!"
"What? Was I wrong?"
"No, but you're neglecting your awareness. Have you noted the details of the things we just passed?"
"Oh... oops. Wow, this is hard."
"Haha, see, just memorizing and remembering is easy."
"What I want to teach you is to remain aware of your surroundings, even if you are focusing on something else."
"If you can do that you should be able to continuously remain aware much more easily."

This makes so much sense!
Yuya is so amazing, why haven't I asked her about this before?

We keep doing this. I memorize all the flowers including other details and try to recite them from memory without loosing awareness of the new surroundings I encounter through walking.
It's really hard at first, but then it becomes surprisingly easy.
I feel like a genius, having such amazing memory all of a sudden.

Since I focus so hard on my vision, it becomes more and more intense.
I can see beyond the color spectrum visible to the human eye.
Ultraviolet and infrared, I can see them so clearly.
They aren't red or violet at all, they are entirely different colors.
The now 5 base colors start merging together to form new ones.
Everything is so beautiful.

It is so hard not to get distracted by this beauty. I have to remain aware of everything.
But it works! I can quite literally feel my awareness leveling out and remaining strong as I go along.

Yuya keeps asking me more and more difficult questions.

"How did this plant smell like?"

I can no longer answer these question with words, so I project my memories towards her, showing that I remember clearly.
We go on like this for some more minutes.
I feel like I have just achieved something major.
I have never ever experienced such an amount of focus.

We finally reach the end of the flower garden.

"And stop!"
"Okay?"
"Yep, time to relax, you cannot possibly keep this up much longer."
"Oh, I can't? It started to feel natural some moments ago."
"Still, if you keep that level of focus up for too long your brain will just spontaneously break out of it."
"You'll either loose all your awareness or even wake up."
"So it would be a bad idea to try and do this all the time?"
"Yes. You can do it for a limited period of time, for example during a battle where you need the extra focus."
"What I'm teaching you is to remain at a constant level of awareness."
"The important part here is that it is constant, not that it is on a level where you have surreal perception and memory."
"The goal is to never let it drift below a certain threshold, this way dream stability should remain high."

I understand her so well, her explanations are perfect.

"It's just more efficient for you to learn it this way."
"Not everyone is capable of achieving such a level of focus."
"It's something you often find in dreamers that are experienced with dream battles."

Dream battling has so many uses, how amazing.

"So dream stability is directly related to your level of awareness?"
"Well, yes, sort of. It's complicated."
"It always is."
"Actually, it is really simple... like most things."
"Yeah right."
"It's the painfully simple things the human mind cannot comprehend."
"After all your mind is trained to understand the complexity of the waking world, not the simplicity of the dream world."

Wow. That is deep.
I have never thought of it this way.
Yuya never ceases to amaze me.
She just drops these mind blowing ideas on me, as if they were the most obvious things in existence.

"Should I try to do this awareness technique in waking life?"
"No. At least not right now. You said you have constant headaches."
"Yeah, probably a bad idea."

She smiles and gives me a big hug.

"We'll continue this next time."
"Wake up and write this down so you don't forget it."
"I will! Until next time!"

Wake up... Have I ever tried waking up from a dream that wasn't a nightmare?
Heck, even a nightmare I haven't tried to wake up from in forever.
I close my eyes and command myself to wake up with my inner voice.
I feel a tingling sensation all over my body.

I open my eyes.
A quick nose plug RC confirms that I am awake and I start taking notes, excited to have taken my first step towards properly long dreams.

I had this dream last night. I dreamt that I was just checking the facebook news feed when I saw my ex boyfriend's current girlfriend post an album on FB. The album was about my ex bf marriage proposal to her. A lot of people posted comments on the album and all of the disapprove of the proposal. I wasn't bothered about the marriage proposal since I felt that it will really happen and I approve of it. What I'm bothered about is the reason I dreamt about this?? Is this another prophetic dream of mine? What does those none-supportive comments about the proposal really mean?

I oddly had a dream that was very similar to a real event from my childhood. it wasn't that special, I was at Cory's house, in a rural area with no houses around us. I was only 10 and Cory was like 14-15. Now that I'm older I find it odd that I would spend the night at other kids houses when they were as old as my older brothers, but anyways...

We were in his yard looking at a small, old playground that had grass and weeds growing up to my waist. Cory was telling me there was a hornets nest in the playground. We wanted to get a good look at the nest so we carefully sneaked into the tall grass. Unlike what really happened, I seemed to feel smaller and the grass crowded around me. we found the hornets nest behind the ladder, and we were both daring each other to hit the nest with a stick. Cory gave in and swung the stick really hard at the nest. we both ran like hell as soon as he hit it. I could hear the buzzing like it was going around my head over and over. We ran into Cory's garage. We were both out of breathe and i didn't notice that Cory had his dogs in their cages. The dogs barked at me and made me jump. we laughed for a while and decided to get something to eat.

my dream starts to fade as we make pb&j sandwiches and eat. my vision fades like my mind fell asleep while watching my dream, later on I come back to my dream, re-living my old memory. Im playing checkers with Cory and his grandmother walks by us saying something to Cory about supper. She says something to me that makes me laugh.
things fast-forward to night time. im in Cory's room and were playing a video game. we get bored and decide to watch a dragon ball z vhs tape. we had to share a bed, but I didn't mind. we were talking about something I can't remember and my dream ends.

I had the first "can't get back to sleep until I check the whole freaking house to make sure it's safe" nightmare of the year last night. It kind of messed up my sleep for the whole morning afterwards, but I got some short and fuzzy dreams, so here they are.

Dream One: I'm in a hospital. Someone's just had a baby, and I'm celebrating with a bunch of people (family and people I don't know) by having drinks in the hallway. Yup. Alcohol in the hospital, I'm pretty sure that's illegal in the waking world or something, lol.

Dream Two: I'm on a boat in the middle of a small river through a city. It reminds me of when I went to Vegas forever ago and saw people riding the gondolas in front of that hotel, the Versaille? I can't remember what hotel it was, lol. Anyways, in the dream I'm on the phone with a friend, C, and I see a GIANT billboard advertising a new Otome game. It was like a dating sim game for girls, and the possible love interests in the game were actual anime characters like Sebastian from Black Butler and Setsuna from Gundam 00. I remember getting all excited, and telling my friend the game looked AWESOME! She agrees it sounds great, even though that friend doesn't watch anime or play video games o.O I go on about how I'm not a fan of Setsuna, and I wonder if it'll have any other Gundam pilots in it? But the game was worth buying to hear Sebastian's voice seducing you anyways.

Dream Three (Nightmare): I'm walking out of the kitchen behind my son when I notice something move under his feet. It's a Copperhead, IN THE HOUSE! I try to tell my son to stop before he steps on it, but he doesn't listen and comes millimeters from stepping on it. I rush forwards and grab him and stand him up on a chair, but the snake slithers under the chair after him. I tell him not to move, thinking the snake can't climb the chair I guess, and run to the basement to get a shovel to cut the things head off because there's no way I'm letting a poisonous snake who knows how to get in my house free so he can come back in again! (Non poisonous, it wouldn't have been a big deal. We actually have a HUGE black snake living in our attic/basement and I refuse to let my husband kill him because he's not hurting anything.) I can't find a shovel, but I see a ho, so I grab that and run upstairs. My kid has gotten off the chair, and I'm freaking out at him that he could have been bit, then ask him if he knows where the snake went. He points to my feet, and I'm almost standing on it! I jump, then start trying to hit it with my ho. It tried to escape in the basement, but I get him on the stairs. Then he transforms into my cat Lilly, and my cat Lilly runs up at the same time so there's two Lillys and I can't tell which is the snake. I wake up TERRIFIED. I actually made my husband check the house for copperheads when he got up for work before I could fall back asleep! The rest of my dreams reflect this anxiety as well.

Dream Four: I'm trying to park my car in our driveway in the nighttime. I notice my neighbors black dog is laying in the driveway, and he won't move. The dog is supposed to be in a dog kennel anyways, so I get out of my car and try to call the dog to put him in his dog lot for the neighbor. The dog runs off, and I get frustrated. I call him a few more times, and the neighbor apparently heard me and sent his kid out to catch his dog. Just as the kid is coming up to help I hear a noise in the woods. At first I think it's the dog, but then I see the moon reflecting off an eye, and I know it's too tall to be the dog, it's got to be a dear. I get in the car and holler at the neighbors kid to watch out for the deer, he wouldn't want to get trampled if it gets spooked. As soon as I say this, the deer starts flat out attacking the kid. It's a doe, so there are no horns, but it keeps headbutting the kid knocking him down and trampling him! I back the car up and shine the headlights at the deer, this causes it to get scared and run away. I check the neighbors kid, he's bleeding, but he says he's ok. I tell him he needs to go get a rabies shot because I don't think sane deer would attack a person like that. Then I park my car and wake up when I get out again.

Dream Five: I'm talking to my husband about my son starting Kindergarten this year. Apparently he starts in a week, and his doctors appointment for his kindergarten shots is on the first day of school. I'm flipping out that he can't miss his first day of school to get his shots, we need to get the shots this week and see if the doctors office will just let us come in for shots really quick and do the actual check up part on a another day. My husband tells me that won't work because my son needs X-rays this year? I wake up, momentarily freaking out, then realizing it's only April and school won't start until August, we got time

Dream Six: I'm in the bedroom in my dead grandparents house where both my grandma died and my grandpa took his own life. Its a pretty creepy place to think about now that I'm awake, but in the dream I had no negative feelings about it. I'm sitting next to the bed, Ciel Phantomhive from Black Butler is on my left, and K is to my right. There's a guy who looks like the pig riding guy from the early Bleach Episodes there as well, sitting across from me at the bed. Ciel is ordering Pig guy to do something, and pig guy gets up and stomps off. I hear muttering coming from the hallways, and get up to see what it's about. K and Ciel are playing poker and talking about some sort of plot against us, but I'm not worried. I trust K to handle it all, and don't feel like I really have the experience needed to keep us safe but he probably does. In the hallway, I see pig man is lighting a bunch of candles and sitting them right under papers that will catch fire and burn really easily. He's muttering something like, "Burn in hell you little demons (devils?)" I yell out at him, "Hey, stop!"and he drops his book of matches and a lit candle and runs away. I go through trying to blow out all the candles before they can start a fire. K and Ciel come out of the bedroom and K is saying, "Well Phantomhive, it looks like you've been betrayed by your own man." to which Ciel replies that he knew it would happen, and we'd use the escaped traitor to lead our enemies to us where we can catch them in our own trap. I'm freaking out that we've got to get out of here before he tried to set fire to the outside. I'm trying to gather things that are important to me, extra shoes, a stuffed horse my grandfather gave to me, a pillow pet for my kids to lay their heads on (doesn't cross my mind they're not here in the dream, lol) and I'm trying to find more of the kids stuff. K just sits at the kitchen table playing cards with Ciel again. I'm getting upset, I feel like we need to leave now! K tells me to just relax, everything's under control. But I just can't relax, I'm freaking out! K asks me where I think we're going to escape to, that we have no where to go. I tell him we could go to his parents house, and he sighs and says Ok, if I'm so upset we can go there if it'll make me feel better. He sighs and throws his cards down on the table obviously agitated and I take this as a personal attack because I'm so on edge. I start shouting at him, "Just because you're an undying doesn't mean the rest of us can't die you know! You may be happy sitting here and being burnt or blown up because you'll regenerate, but I won't!" (An Undying is from the book series Kieli, I have often thought the main character Harvey reminds me of K because they both have that quiet and unintentionally harsh around people personality. Apparently this comparison was bleeding over into my dreams to make him fit in with all the anime characters, lol) He looks at me kind of stunned and confused by this outburst, and then my son wakes me up because he's worked the fitted sheet off his bed turning in his sleep. I'm glad that K showed up in this dream, because it put me at ease enough that my last dream was not a nightmare and I woke up in a good mood after all.

Dream Seven: I'm inside of a store, at first I thought it was Walmart. I'm looking at video games, checking out what they have for the PSP because I'm really enjoying Hakuoki and wander if there are any other visual novels for the PSP. A store clerk comes up, and asks if he can help me find anything. I tell him I'm just looking, thanks. Then he asks me what my name is, so I actually turn and look at him instead of half ignoring him (yeah I know, ignoring people is a bad habbit... but my social skills are so inept it's usually a lot better than trying to talk to them and getting overly stressed out, lol) I notice he's the guy from best buy the other night. I remember that My husband was the one who was trying to talk to the guy and ask him about some video game stuff, but the guy kept looking at me when he was talking to my husband. I was very flattered at the time, especially since he looked a lot like a guy I had a crush on in College, just with shorter hair. I even wondered if he was the same guy, but his name tag had a different name on it so I was pretty sure it wasn't. Anyways, in the dream I tell him my name and he smiles really big and cutely, and I smile back. Then I decide to ask him if he knows of any other visual novels on the psp. He has no clue what I'm talking about and apologizes like crazy. I tell him it's ok, and grab a game off the shelf and tell him I'll just try that game. The I checkout and leave. I feel like I'm being watched, and I turn around to see him and someone else watching me out the stores glass windows as I leave. I turn around and smile and wave to let them know they're being too obvious, then get in the car where my husband and kids are waiting. My daughter wakes me up this time, and it's time to get up.


And of course, because the copperhead dream had me so freaked out, I wouldn't let the kids get up until I could check the house again myself, then told them to watch where they step. We've not had a snake in the main part of the house before, but since we've had mice come up from the basement and down from the attic before, I know it's possible, it just hasn't happened yet.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how activating or deactivating various receptors in the brain brings us closer to the dream state, and what that implies for using hallucinogens in respect to various dream phenomena like signs and guides, understanding the way dreams work on a more basic level, and beliefs like shared dreaming. To study this relationship and see if I can come to any conclusions, I've decided to use side note DJ entries to track any experiences I have which enter the hallucinogenic realm, no matter how small.

Exploring Nature, and the Dream-like Qualities of THC [Trip Report]
Cannabis
Date: April 19th, 2012

Dose:
T+0:00: 1/2 bowl, smoked, Cannabis
T~1:30: 1/2 joint, smoked, Cannabis

After getting a few errands done for the day, K and I decided to go walking through a forest and smoke some weed since we hadn't done so in a long time. I went to pick him up and we smoked a small bowl before leaving his apartment, and then I drove us back to my house. I was already really high and could tell that the weed was pretty strong! My tolerance is not insanely high at this time either, but K's is and he was pretty stoned as well. We waited at my house for about half an hour and watched TV, then went walking around the park near here.

We picked a small opening in the side of the forest next to a big clearing and smoked the first half of the joint there. It's a pretty nice spot, but we decided to go somewhere more secluded and deeper into the forest for the other half. On the walk to the next area I was starting to become fairly stimulated but also dissociated, and I was beginning to ramble about whatever was on my mind, though I can't remember what those things were now. We stopped half way down a dense path and finished the joint, and then we kept following it as far as it went. My thoughts were starting to feel very associative and I went on a long rant about the difference in perception and stereotypes of the old and modern drug cultures.

When I finally ran out of thoughts I noticed that colors were becoming highly saturated. Everywhere I looked I was noticing patterns of leaves and things among the plant life, and my mind was connecting incorrect meaning to various shapes. For example, many trees suddenly looked like they were gigantic flames, and others that had long, slender leaves with pronged tips suddenly looked to me as if they were covered in snowflakes. What's interesting to me is that now, after my long break and my other drug experiences, I can come back to these weed experiences that normally die down a bit once tolerance sets in and look at them through enlightened eyes. This euphoric energy, analytical nature, color saturation, and psychedelic image association... it's all very reminiscent of my experiences with dopaminergic psychedelics. Is this the potential of THC's cannabinoid receptor-induced phenethylamine release? It certainly has the same feel as a phenethylamine psychedelic. In this case, the psychedelic effects would be coming mostly from the D2 receptor, which causes effects similar to NMDA receptor antagonists, among other things. This mechanism is the same that causes OBEs and is likely very important in dreams, and I wonder if that's where the associative thinking comes from - the same way that dreams are built off of our internal schemata and expectations, only whereas with dreams we have only the blackness behind our eyes to work with, instead here my schemata are applied to reality and my mind attempts to make sense (dream sense, anyway) of my surroundings.

Anyway, we returned to the small forest opening by the clearing where we had smoked originally, only this time I noticed a path that lead out behind where we were originally sitting and was amazed at what I saw. There were three stone benches where we were, cut in sort of a way that looks like if you were to divide a circle up into four even sections and then remove one of them. Behind, and juts a bit to the right, of the now middle section, there was a path made in the ground that led down a tiny hill and into a densely covered forest area. However, in the center of this, where the path directly led, there was just a, not huge but not small, patch of grass with no trees, and so the area itself looked like it had a large opening where you could see the sky, surrounding by a ring of tree tops. The patch was also just a very slight hill, and surrounding it on the edges of the circle was a constant low level of water. All of this was a few feet below all of the ground around it, enough to where it'd be difficult to get back out of this ditch if that path weren't there. The very first thing I thought when I saw all of this was "Holy crap, we're at a boss area!" I turned to K and started explaining. The clearing was the world map we had passed through to reach this tiny opening in the forest, and this is where the final space before the cutscene was. K even pointed out that the three benches with the two spaces in between them made perfectly for a save point and an item shop. Then, following the path would take you down into the ditch, and then the path would be closed off by rocks caving it in, or the trees moving to block it, or whatever fits the plot. You'd then be stuck in this tiny arena to fight the boss in, and they'd be situated on the hill whereas the ring of water on the edge of the map would be where you'd find things like rings in a Sonic the Hedgehog game or pots in a Legend of Zelda game. The forest scenery was definitely fit enough to support this epic battle, as it all had a very intense feel to it, even compared to the rest of the forest we'd been in. After a while the illusion became too much, and we left because we were tripping out.

On the walk back I mostly noticed more associative imagery. The trip dwindled a bit after that, and I was merely extremely stoned for the rest of the day. I was also feeling a bit sick by the end of it (as I had been for the past few days as well), so I knocked out after dropping K off and coming back home. All I can really say about this experience is that it was a fun reminder of what a psychedelic state of mind is like. It's nice being able to observe these mental processes from an outsider's view this time, and to be able to compare it to phenomena in the dream state. I will certainly be remembering this one for future reference.

Yay ! Lucid!
I was running away from something, or for something, I don't remember which. I was in a parking lot I can not remember from real life, but suddenly I stopped and realized;
Hey. I thought it felt a bit like.. air. Why am I doing this? This is ..a. dream. I shouldn't have to run.
I got the satisfactory feeling of realizing this just like that, but started feeling my body in bed. I resisted, trying float back into the dream, and luckily managed.
I then set running after what had been chasing me, and I generally remember having fun before I lost my lucidity again. No big deal, I'll make it stay longer next time

Um okay, I'll just note here that I had been focusing on living in the present, and I had been drawing a lot, the day before. Drawing sometimes work a little bit like meditation. So I think that daily focus is key. Notice your surroundings.

"You can't live on a breath in the future, nor from the past. You have to breathe now." I just love that quote. A man on TV said it yesterday. (Yesterday was a really great day, and this is starting to look like a blog post. I better shut my trap. Have fun )

I remember being on some sort of small ship. My mom and I were sitting in what looked like a small boat on the ship, but we weren’t allowed to walk anywhere else. A man (the Captain) and a young boy (his son) were standing near us. The Captain was behind us controlling the small ship. From where we were, it looked like the small boat we were sitting in was in the water, and the ship was above us. It didn’t seem logical, but it didn’t trigger any lucidity.

All of a sudden the boat lurched to a start, nearly causing some water to come into the small boat. “I assure you it is safe.” said the captain.
The little boy came up to us to talk about safety rules. When he did, a little screen appeared in front of me that showed a Dr. Seuss-like ship about to tip over. Not only was it about to tip over, it looked like waves were fighting against the ship, so parts of it were breaking off. Among that ship were two passengers, running for their lives. They ran behind a building away from the camera’s view, so I couldn’t see what they did next.

The little boy told us that that was one of the things you should not do. You should stay calm, grab a life boat or something that can float, and just hang tight.

The dream sped forward. For some reason, we walked with the captain of the ship and his boy to their house. We walked inside, and I walked down the hall to see the rooms. I looked into one of the rooms and realized that my cousin lives here. Only, he doesn’t have a little brother. I didn’t think anything about it, though.

I went into his room and started looking at all of the stuff he had.

What looked like his smartphone was hooked up to these weird droid-like copper arm things. Whenever you moved the phone around in midair, the arms would follow it effortlessly, since they were attached to it.

I sat down at his desk, where his phone was. I held it and checked his Twitter. I don’t know why I did. I looked at his statuses, and other things. Then I heard the door open. I quickly shut the phone off and turned around.

It was my mom, telling me that we had to go. I breathed a sigh of relief and got up. Then I woke up.

20 April 2012

Dream 1: DaytimeI was asleep and i awoke(in the dream) to find this boy trying to take my keyboard from me and when he couldn't get it he tried to take my cricket ball. i kept swatting him away. All of a sudden i was underwater and i said to my self," this isn't real ". i then looked at my hand and did a reality check, my hand shimmered like a hologram and then i knew for sure it was a dream. My view seemed to widen considerably, i looked left and right then i woke up. i seemed to have gotten excited and woken up. I was bummed out but excited as well.