nightmare

I remember the dream seemed to start out where I was at a school library that looked like the inside of a Barnes and Noble book store. I could smell printing in the books, and then It was like I was reading a manga book but then it was happening right in front of me somehow but two dimensionally. The manga book really didn't seem to have a premise because when I was reading it I saw the print of a school girl aiming a gun or beam gun up in the air randomly. She had short dark hair pulled back into a pony tail and looked like a manga character. Then, she pulled the trigger. This was like looking at a flip book except it seemed to happen on one page. After she pulled the trigger it hit a pillar which then collapsed and fell on top of another school girl who kind of looked like Konata from lucky star but then an older version of her or a similar looking girl then came around the corner. The younger Konata was passed out from being hit and the older girl that resembled the younger shorter one came in and swiped the girl up then ran off to get some help or something. I then flashed back into the bookstore. It was almost like I was witnessing another dimension act itself out. I thought that what I had just read was boring and seemed to lag on about random stuff so I looked through the other manga books. I said no to all of them while saying things like "another book about school girls, no. A book about friendship and hardship, no." I listed all the genres off by my own liking and insisted that it was just the same crap over and over again.

The next dream I was onboard an Alien ship, I had awoken into this dream remembering seeing a fading light and being lifted up. I saw these tall green aliens looking at my feet and poking them, I then realized my feet were green. The aliens then started saying things like "where, were you?" "we were looking for you" and they kept asking those questions until I said something like "I don't know." and then felt distanced from the aliens as I zoned out into a haze for awhile and then woke up

The next dream was Harry Potter related. I remember that chronologically something had happened to where howarts history was repeating itself and time in this matter really didn't exist. I was walking around Hogwarts talking to Ron who was telling me how easy it was to get lost as a first year and told me to try not to get into trouble. I then was on a different floor, Hermione, who was standing looking on ward looked disappointed about something. I couldn't tell until the scenario of where I was became more clear to me. I was in a class, I don't remember which one, but something had gone terribly wrong and Hermione was struck by this. I was a little disoriented within the dream so I don't remember completely what had happened in the classroom like room in hogwarts, it was as though I was trying to remember bits of the movie and the book together to create a dream, but it was all a haze.

I was in a void. I couldn't see, hear, feel, or sense anything at all. But I was fully aware that I was asleep and in a dream. I hadn't performed a reality check, either. I didn't remember losing consciousness or dreaming of anything prior to becoming lucid, so I wondered if this was some sort of "accidental WILD". It was then that I realized that I severely had to wake up and use the restroom.

This was frustrating, as I hadn't had a lucid dream in quite some time and I was excited to start having some dream fun. But I knew I had to wake up soon, so I decided I would try out at least one lucid dreaming technique. I have never spoken to my subconscious before in a lucid dream, so I decided to do that before I awoke.

Suddenly, my bedroom formed around me and I was standing beside the spot where my bed normally is. The room looked slightly different, and certain things (like my mattress) were missing. I asked the first thing that came to my mind aloud, "What is my greatest fear?"

Then, the environment around me started to change. It became darker, creepier. I started to become unnerved. I recalled that many people summon a DC or talk to their reflection in the mirror to communicate with their subconscious. I figured that if I wanted a straight answer spoken to me that this was the best technique to choose from. Then a mirror appeared against the wall straight ahead of me. My reflection stared back at me somberly.

"What is my greatest fear?" I asked my reflection. It merely stared back at me in its melancholy way. Meanwhile, the room was still changing and growing increasingly disconcerting. I was getting very uncomfortable with the changes. It is difficult for me to describe how the room was rapidly giving me a heavy sense of foreboding, as not many visual changes were taking place. It was mostly just the feeling my dream world was giving me, and there was the sense that some terrifying things were about to appear. I do recall seeing something like black wallpaper being slowly peeled away from the wall by nothing I could see, and there was a dark humanoid figure forming nearby to my right as well.

Rather uncomfortable now, I decided it was time to wake up and I would try this another time. I would try talking to my reflection first next time to get an answer. I willed myself to wake up.

I realize that my dream seemed to be trying to "act out" my greatest fear, although I am a bit unsure as to what that fear is. It could possibly be a descent into insanity, as I have always found that idea particularly unpleasant, but I am not sure. I will try this again the next time I find myself lucid.

07-21-2013 -- I am walking by an apartment complex on either Hickory or Dale, where there is no apartment complex. I am more or less minding my own business, when I run into this guy who starts yelling at me. He tells me I am worthless and horrible, and he knew my mother, and my actions caused her to die in sorrow, and I ought to just go off and die, myself ... he goes on and on and on with really horrible accusations. I think back to the life my mother lived, and how old she was when she died, and how our relationship was (fine), and I can't see any reason for his accusations, and I tell him so, but he just keeps screaming at me, while I sit at this picnic table and begin to doubt myself and feel worse and worse. He finally stalks off, leaving me depressed, until a nice fellow I recognize from around the place comes up to me, asks me what is wrong, and tries to console me for a bit.

Soon I am feeling a little better, and I start to look around. I spot something that seems a little interesting: there is an empty tape box sitting next to an unlabeled tape, and the tape box says it is the first of three parts in a continuation of the Chronicles of Narnia, the first of which is about the silver throne at Cair Paravel. I instantly slide the unlabeled tape into a machine that instantly makes me a copy of it.

Soon I find myself in a family-type setting with a father and his little girl, and there is a VCR there, so I stick the tape in, wanting to watch it. There is a flash of light, and I suddenly realize. I have no idea what is on this tape. Sure, it could have been the the tape of the new Chronicles. It could also be a porno tape, just about to blare out a sex scene in front of this little girl! I violently stab at the eject button, and we see just a couple of seconds of a pair of silver boots sitting right in front of a ruby throne, before the tape ejects. I guess it was the right tape.

The father glances at me, as if to ask what's up, and I explain about the whole thing, and not being sure about what was on the tape, and even about feeling guilty for copying it. I apologize, and he looks at me like I am crazy, and decides to ignore me. He may be ignoring me, but a Narnian dwarf suddenly appears in front of me and tells me it is no real problem. If I can't finish the tape before leaving the library, they'll gladly make a transcript for me. He takes the tape and disappears with a pop, and I suddenly know the next time I make it back to the room where I copied the tape, I'll have a printed copy of it that I can take legally. I start to walk away feeling much better about myself.

I soon find myself in a small village of small houses with thatched roofs, and a young woman asks me what I am so happy about. I start to explain about more stories in Narnia, and the dwarf and the video tape, but she is walking away from me to the right. I turn to the left and see the same woman, and her daughter, and she asks me "What are you talking about?" "The Narnia story I was just telling you about." She says I wasn't telling her about any story, and I turn to look to the right and see a bent and shuffling old woman just about to turn the corner. She seems very sinister, somehow. I call out to her to wait a second, but she just continues around the corner.

I chase after her, and I see her just entering a crowd, so I continue forward, but when I get there, she is nowhere in sight. It is like she just disappeared into thin air. I find myself in the middle of maybe a dozen or so clowns, in rather duller makeup than normal, and ask if it is a convention or something. I am waiting for an answer, until I hear a noise that causes me to turn around back the way I came. There are three little girls standing there, being approached by a bent old hag looking more and more like the hag the queen turned into in Snow White to give her the apple. I realize whatever this thing is, it can change shapes to look like anybody it wants to. I run forward to grapple with 'her' and protect the little girls, and I suddenly find I am wrestling with a grim reaper figure in black robes (which I facetiously refer to as Skeletor) and losing the battle.

Finally I start speaking to it in the name of Jesus, and it starts to steam a little bit, and flinch back from me in pain, and as I continue, it breaks away and tries to run off. I give chase again, but it runs forward into another crowd of people. I run forward, and find myself being grabbed. I tense, ready to fight, but it is three Golden Horseshoe can-can girls who have pulled me into a tickle war. Three ladies working together, not one, not the thing, whatever it is. Soon I am walking along, studying everyone I see very carefully, looking for the old hag, or any single person.

Suddenly I find it is very dark, almost pitch black, and I am walking near the door to my apartment complex with no idea how I got there. It is kind of foggy, and there is a forboding figure looming in the fog just by my door. Just as I realize I have fallen asleep at some point, and am now dreaming, the figure jumps out and attacks me. Now I am able to see it's true form, a red devil in a black death robe, and I am very, very scared that this thing can invade me dreams. But there is no hesitation this time. "I come against you in the name of Jesus! I come against you in the name of Jesus!" It is flinching at the name. "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" Suddenly there is a powerful figure, an angel, standing next to me, battling the creature. Unexpectedly, it is female. I thought angels were male ....

She speaks in one of it's ears "I come against you in the name of Jesus." I follow and do the same. She does the same to the other ear, and again I follow, and do the same. It writhes at our words. Just as I realize we ought to do one ear each at the same time, I wake up, panting from the battle.

Fragment the first:
Don't remember much. Only that it was pleasant and that I got plenty of deep sleep.

Fragment the second:
Not so great. Involved an intercourse related injury. Became lucid near the end and tried to travel back in time to prevent said injury, woke up instead.

Fragment the third:
Involved lots of scorpions. I'm generally good at staying asleep through nightmare scenarios, but when a scorpion gets in your hair, it tends to activate the lower portions of your brain which cause a complete freak out. Shrugged off the first three without a problem. The fourth was too much and jolted me awake.

This night was not a successful one. I remember really bad EVEN if i'm lucid. :/
and also, my best friend was there. I asked him if he knew that he was a part of my dream, but he didn't answer.
I also had a few False awakening. I got the tough that i can't tell him that HE was dreaming, because i would wake up.
He kind of knew what i was thinking, and he freaked out, his face got like a nightmare and everything got grey. He disappeared and i woke up.

Here I go. =/ Maybe I should have prefaced this with something: This is one of the most awful nightmares I have ever had. The first part seemed normal, and then my subconscious decided to twist it into something disgusting. I'm almost impressed. -.-

We are in a long wide dining hall, the walls and floor are worn wood. There are long tables with plank seating. I'm wearing a billowy

white blouse with khaki riding pants and knee high boots. I am a young women with chin-length dark brown hair. I sit down next to a young man who has short medium brown hair. His features are perfectly shaped, high wide cheek bones, a constantly smiling mouth. I am seventeen, he is eighteen. I am in love with him and sometimes I am certain he knows it, as my best friend he knows me well enough to understand. Sometimes I think that he loves me too but he has always been so careful. A friend of ours named Robert has recently returned home from a long trip comes to sit with us. I don't remember where he went but it had been years since we had last seen him. Adam, the friend I am in love with, gets up to follow Robert. Watching them leave makes me feel a little sad.

"Hey, Deidre, come and look at this." Adam calls. I go to him, smiling. This part is pretty strange. He shows me a man that isn't who he

claims. Adam narrates that it is a golem controlled by magic and enchanted to look like someone we know. Somehow we see straight through it and so we see black eyes set in a bald clay-gray head, slope shouldered, wearing a faded quilted black tunic. As soon as it walks up to us we greet it like it really is the ambassador. It responds with a proper greeting, but follows that with an unintelligible scramble of words.

"See?" Adam says, we all share a secret smile as the golem walks stiffly through the crowd. It was sort of like we were on

stage and that whole scene was an aside to the audience, we ignore It and follow Robert out of the hall like we encountered nothing out of the ordinary.

There is a garden courtyard between wings of the house. It is night and a single wrought iron lamp post stands in the middle over bench on a dais. I find Adam sitting on the bench. He is obviously upset but he won't tell me why. I remind him that we used to play here as children and he nods absently, pretending he is fine.

"Hey, Addy." I say in a consoling tone, "Whatever it is, you can tell me." I drop to my knees next to the bench and slide my arms around his waist, resting my cheek on his thigh.

Here I come back to myself a little and I am no longer Deidre. Holding him is peaceful and familiar. It reminds me of Liam and for a time I put aside the character of Deidre and close my eyes to savor the moment, smiling in contentment. He's wearing a faded black button up and black pants, I notice out of the corner of my eye. I can feel Adam becoming more upset and my understanding of his character overlaps with my interpretation of him as Liam. Adam cannot reciprocate Deidre's feelings for him because he is in love with Robert, and at the same time I can feel Liam as he is trapped in the form of Adam, wanting so badly to reach me but locked in the confines of the dream, so that it is not possible. I want to tell him that it is alright, that I know about Robert, I want to tell him that I know he is not Liam, but that doesn't matter because for now he feels like him.

Adam hesitantly strokes my hair and my dual-nature snaps apart so that I am once again Deidre. I know he is trying to force himself to

feel something for me other than friendship. I sit up and give him a brief hug, I realize then that he's fantastically drunk. I help him stand and we stumble to the far side of the courtyard, by the time we reach the heavy stone threshold he is crying freely. We fall down in a tangle of limbs and he sobs pathetically that I should not help him at all. He ignores my protests to the contrary, telling me that he is in love with someone else.

"Is that someone else Robert?" I ask. That stuns him into silence. It makes me sad that he'll never fall in love with me, but I know he can't help it.

....and then the dream takes an ugly turn.

The dining hall is inside and outside at once, so that the far end has no wall and lacks a ceiling. At the enclosed end in the corner is an

ivory colored couch. We have a female friend over, she's sitting on the back of the couch and I am kneeling on the cushions with the front of my body pressed to the back of the piece. I have something gross on my hands that I get all over the top of the couch, and when I get up I realize I have left a large water stain where my body had previously leaned. A courier arrives with news from our father. ((because, you know, we're siblings, and in case you weren't paying attention that means I'm in love with my brother, who is in love with our older brother...eeeeeee)) It is a letter for us and a small wooden crate filled with nesting fiber. There is a necklace in the envelope, it has two overlapping pendants, a crescent moon and a dagger. Robert hands the necklace to me and I put it on, when I lean over the back of the couch the dagger pricks my chest and I rub at the wound absently.

The courier is not a physical person anymore. Robert is standing nearby reading aloud a letter we have received. The letter explains

what happened to our father, how he went mad then raped and murdered a woman, he says something about the contents of the crate being cursed, and that it will spread to all our family. As he is saying this, I'm holding the necklace away from my skin, looking horrified. Adam though does not believe it. He is to enthralled by the crate to pay attention and neither of us are watching him. He thrusts his hand down into the crate and comes up with a handful of sand and a tiny stone artifact. The effect is immediate. The sclera of his eyes goes black, the irises turn orange/red, like flame. Black growths force their way out his skin along his cheekbones. He holds the artifact up over his head and a mad grin splits his face grotesquely.

"Adam?" I slide off the couch and begin to back away from him. He is too distracted by this new development that he doesn't notice me.

Yet. He stalks around the room, Robert seizes his arm to stop him and becomes cursed just as quickly. I know what they will do to me because of what is in the letter. Never mind that Adam is gay and a day before would not have touched me. It no longer matters because his mind is gone and his body under the control of the rage. I run for the door in the corner that leads out to the deck stairs. He gives my shoulders a shove and I stumble. I feel his fingers slip under a gap in the back of the waist of my pants, he tugs lightly. Almost tentatively. I scramble away but he is still hovering over me.

Spoiler for One of the rape parts, if you would rather skip it.:

Now I have a choice, I have a split second of lucidity and I think "It won't be rape anymore if I stop fighting. I know he isn't Adam anymore, but this is the closest I'll ever be to him, and so what if he beats me to death after? Then I won't care anymore."
I pretend that his hands on my waist don't make me feel sick, the greedy skittering of his fingers on my hips when I unbuckle my belt.
At first it isn't so bad. I don't feel anything one way or another, I just ignore his animal-like grunting and uncomfortable stab as he moves. After a few minutes he becomes wildly violent and I decide I made a mistake, that I really can't endure this, I fight my way to the wall. There is a button there on a touch screen that I can push to stop the simulation. So I do.

I get a do-over. I see Adam pull the figurine from the crate, and his transformation. I immediately dart for the door and make it halfway down the steps before he tackles me straight to the ground. I scream and struggle out from under him, fighting around to the front of the house.
Then there's something about the golem trying to attack us, and me and the others trying to throw flashlights at it, but the things are too heavy and not good for throwing at people. (O.o) The yard we are on is clearly the front yard from the house in MA. Except the grass has a blue tint and the sky looks more like a ceiling painted blue.

Spoiler for Second rape part.:

There's a break. I am out on the yard and the end of it morphs into a wall where there's almost an enclosed pool (I don't know, my dream layouts are weird). The curb is more like the edge to a public pool. We are waiting for help, someone has called the police and fire department. There are people sleeping everywhere, mostly men. They were all naked, and when the curse takes effect they are suddenly all uh...erect. They feel like time bombs to me. That if I wake them they will all be on me and then I will have no hope of surviving. I might get raped, but I am going to live damn it. A chubby young man begins to catch the curse and changes. At first he looks confused and distracted...then he notices me. I make a run for it and he chases me, I vault over the wall at the end of the yard and try to flee to the corner of the pool where the stairs are, but he leaps down with surprising agility and slams me into the wall. My head feels like it is going to split open and and I become disoriented. He flips me over, hands clumsily fumble with my nightgown. He's too heavy to knock off of me. My best bet is to wait until he's...distracted.

I try not to focus on what he's doing, and I try not to laugh at him, because even in the thrall of the curse he is inexperienced and can't

even effectively rape me. His movements are inconsistent, but the slack jawed expression he wears disturbs me. When he shifts his weight for a better angle, briefly freeing my arms, I reach up and slam my palms against his ears. He cries out and falls backward. I stand up and knee him in the face as hard as I can. I can hear people moving around on the other side of the wall, but they are talking so I am certain that they are not cursed men made monsters. I mount the wall and see female police officers everywhere. They are cataloging evidence. The worst part is there are children laying down at the edge of the pool. Some of the more unfortunate ones have lived through the experience. One blond-haired little girl with blood-shot eyes stares at me, too injured to move. The children laying on each side of her are either dead or asleep. Olivia Dunham talks about the signs of assault and rape, pointing to various pieces of evidence before pulling a sheet over piles of battered bodies.

There's a lapse, it is some time in the far future. Because I was one of the first cursed and I am a woman I have lived ages longer than I should have. I'm in a sanctum of sorts, there are priestesses who serve the Cold, they are called Whisper Mothers and Sisters. Their garb is almost like a nuns, except the wimple is shaped differently and their robes are in layers, slashed black over robes with white underneath.
They were responsible for subduing the entity before my father unwittingly unleashed it so many generations ago. It went curiously quiet after the event at the pool, laying in wait for the proper time. Now it has begun again. I hesitate then get the Whisper Mother's attention.

"Mother..."

She continues to pace.

"Mother?"

Distractedly she stops, clutching an elaborate cross that hangs around her neck. It is silver and has a ruby at its center. "Yes, sister?"

"What caused the Emergence?" I ask.
"I don't have time for questions, Lady." She responds.
"Is it true the madness began with a stone artifact?" I ask.

Then she truly looks at me. The servants of the Cold value truth and clarity above all things. They may seem harsh, but they are a product of the world in which they were raised. Her eyes sharpen and she purses her lips in worry.

"Yes. A stone artifact fed by the fire of shame."
"Please, I am only curious if there is a way to stop It from happening again?" I ask.

She paces the width of the sanctum. There is a heavy weathered wood railing and something like a decorative bulkhead bisecting the end of the room. "Truth may be enough to stop it, and the blood of the repentant. So, tell me." Her eyes flick to me, cold with recognition and accusation. "Are you repentant for laying with your brother Adam?"

"I never lay with Adam." I say, dropping my eyes. I suppose that allowing him to rape me counts.
She narrows her eyes at me. "You are a liar, Deidre."
"Yes." I agree, feeling the weight of my shame. "Yes."
"Still, there is something we can accomplish, the others are on their way here."

My view pulls out a little, viewing the scene from overhead. From here I can see the walkway outside, and the great circular stained glass gate where a Whisper Sister waits and an assassin in black and red leather armor is stealthed by the entry way. No one will get by, the Servants of the Cold must be protected.

I see a distortion in the air, a heat wave. A spark and a cruel laughing mouth inside a cooling lava face, horns curling back over its

head. Its flame tongue licks the air. Silent in its passing it steals in through the door, scorches on the wood mark its path across the floor, it slips in like a ghost and alights a touch upon her brow, and when the creature passes she has turned to ashes on the ground. Screams from inside filter out to where I stand, all within have died before they could lift a hand. I can hear the Whisper Mother inside, screaming wild negations and questions, "Why this, why now after all this time?", It has saved her for last.
The sister outside shrieks in a desperate forlorn way when she realizes that all the women inside are dead, the assassin at the door wrestles her away and they flee together.

And so I get a sense of the Flame. A vast, calculating mind that cares for nothing at all, its singular dream is to burn the world to

cinders and scatter the ashes in the wind. It wants only to consume, take, until everything is gone. And it will. It will.

False Awakening: I rise to another layer of sleep and think that I am awake. After all, my boyfriend is playing Skyrim on his computer just like when I fell asleep. He notices I am awake and comes to kneel on the bed. He kisses me but the idea of doing anything like that after a dream about rape is not at all appealing. I tell him to stop and I mention the rape dream, but he keeps touching me anyway not realizing that it is uncomfortable and unpleasant.

Then I really wake up. Thank God.

So basically this is a pretty strange dream I had last night. I am new here but like the idea of sharing dreams because I think dreams are easily the most profound experience someone can have. The dream started off in a wooded area and I was with my family. I had ingested a psychedelic drug but was ironically normal, even though I was in a dream. Things looked different, I could see faces within textures and stuff, but it was more dreamy than anything else. I do not use drugs anymore but could recall what it was like in this dream. Anyways, that isn't a important part to this story... I was with my family and I was sitting by my mom while she had her arms around me, I felt very safe in this moment. After that scene I was walking around more and out of nowhere a relative of mine who has had bad drug problems ran past me saying something like "try to catch me" or something to that effect. I started chasing after and then they went around the corner, when I got around the corner, she was in the backseat of a Cadillac and the front seat was full, no one in the backseat. Then the backseat area fills up with flames and this relative of mine gets incinerated. All I know is I just witnessed something terrible and needed to get out of there before I got killed myself, so I run off and I am pretty sure they are chasing me. Anyways some random woman I meet while I am running away decides to go with me (doesn't make sense, but it's a dream). We are running and then a guy with a gun is about to catch up so we hope a fence and there is a huge cliff with water on the other side, but me and this lady both decide to jump anyways. When we hit the water we must have jumped across a border because we are in another country. We swim to the shore and the guy sitting there with a rifle decides to let us in after hearing our story. It sort of blanks out and then further in this lady is now pregnant with what I guess is my kid. We now live in this country. We are going to some sort of play that is very very bizarre and the man that was trying to kill us shows up to the play. The play was about peace and I am hoping that the man realizes that we aren't bad people. He doesn't kill us because the play has a lot of people there. Afterwards he is sitting at a table and I ask him why he wants to kill us or something like that and he starts to answer but I wake up before he says anything I could recall.

1. I was in a flying car, or something along the lines of it.

2. This one is weird (another one of my nightmares). It was as if I had woke up from a dream, and I couldn't remember anything. Then my mom said "Your lucky to have survived in that!" I started asking questions and she said that I got shot by a crazy guy in a greenhouse.

Note: In waking life my mom is in medical school, working to become a nurse. The only reason I say this is because in the dream she did all her medical checkout stuff on me.

Please take this with a bit slower thought than you normally might, This was a very strange dream to me.

Note: Before I had it, I let my dog go outside sometime between 4 AM and 5 AM and I fell asleep on the swing (With a coat and long pants on, Mostly so I wouldn't get bitten by mosquitoes and it also helped me not catch a cold) and I woke at about 5:40 and went back to bed. Then after the first dream I wrote here, I woke at about 7:14 AM.

#1:

I just have to say, Wow; Where was I?

Near the start of the dream I met some relatives I didn't realize were related to me; There was a man and I think his wife and child who may have been an infant. This is sounding pretty similar to some people who go to a church I attend! After that I met another me in my own room and he didn't look quite like me, I think he wore a coat that looked like the one I wore outside earlier while awake.

Some time after that, Things started getting weirder, I think I went into a deeper dream level so to speak because I normally don't have dreams like this. I may have talked about switching places with this other me for some reason.

Next, I recall going outside and the house was not quite the same as it is in waking life; There were more parts to the building on the back end of it and then I recall explaining to someone that the sun and moon didn't work in the same way where I was from. I also said to someone that I was from another dimension and I saw some people in the side yard including a neighbor I know who attends the same church as I do and also plays a musical instrument as I do, But he wasn't my neighbor and he didn't recognize me.

Later, There was some structure in that side yard and a man was in a small shack-y room with the door cracked open. There was another door behind a man who I was talking to and after I looked away from him and looked back, He had no head but was standing there with a breathing apparatus! And after looking into the red sky (And there were no trees nearby as there are in waking life) I saw some weird things in it like red licorice candy clouds, If I could describe them as such but I don't think they were edible. I had enough at that point and said the Lord's prayer,

"Our father who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread, And forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom, And the power, And the glory forever.
Amen."

(Note: I did not say the prayer exactly like this. But, I said it with the same meaning. BTW, There's a saying which is "There are no atheists in a foxhole" And I can't say I was as faithful as I may have believed in the Bible in weeks prior to this dream.)

Then, I thought I woke up and I was in the back end of my Dad's caravan with the back end open which was facing the house which is a bit odd given the driveway. I thought I was awake and I went back inside the house with my dog, Talked with my Father (My parent) and some time after that, I woke for real.

At times in that dream I was wondering if I would ever wake up because it was so weird and unlike the waking world.

Later, I went downstairs and slept on the couch until about 9:15 AM. Some of the next dream was as this:

2: I think there was some selection of this next part, As if it was a movie with some people deciding what to do for/with this guy described below or a video game level selection screen. A man drove a big truck in a snowy mountain pass, Parked his truck away from the bridge which was small if I rememebr right, Went up to the bridge that was closed, His truck fell off the mountain and he jumped off the cliff where it fell and found wings in the air quite far away from the mountain and flew around in places including my living room.

If you have not seen something like the first dream I described here, Can you relate? I didn't feel like I was at home, I'm not about to call it a lucid dream as I didn't "Have the powers of dreamland at my control", So to speak, But it felt like I was painfully aware I was not so close to home.

Note: How did "Nightmare" and "Task of the Month" get selected? I don't recall clicking those, I clicked "Non-Lucid" And "Side Notes" And then those weren't selected. I took so long to write this that my login session had expired and I had to log in again, So that might have something to do with it. But, The first dream was unpleasant and I imagine it is a task of the month to not have another dream like this, This month. So I left those tags there and re-added the other ones.

I saw a dream of exam days. I should study my neglected lesson but I have given my books to my close friend. I called her but she didn't answer. I decided to loan the notes of one of my friends. but my mobile didn't work It was terrible...
After that I saw me and one of my friends were going to take taxi.

For some reason I decide to take drugs, something like ecstasy. Then there is a bit of the dream highly disoriented, just bits of visual and my laughing. then it seems like the next day when I awaken I realize something is wrong in my mouth, so I go into the bathroom to look in the mirror. I see that a word has been carved all the way through my front teeth, the words "rock and roll" ground deep but not all the way through my bottom right front side of my teeth, the words "quantum power" carved very lightly into the inside bottom left side of my teeth, and other words on my teeth that I can't quite understand, but worst of all is the tattoo on the inside of my bottom lip it's big and long in black and white very noticeable almost shows when my mouth is shut, it says something mortifying (I don't want to tell it to anyone so I won't write it here). I flip out and ask my friend who the hell did this to my mouth?! she tells me that when I was on drugs I forced some guy to do it, so I go find the guy and yell at him for doing this to my mouth but he yells back that I forced him to do it to my mouth when I was high. I tell him that since the lip tattoo is white with black out lining that he needs to cover it up with red and black, he agrees and I tell him no words, just make it looks like a wound with blood so he does and I get only a little relief for now my teeth have holes and damage that I can't hide.

Have non-lucid:
Looking on a weird question and answer site. One of the questions I asked is supposedly from the night I tried to kill myself, but the date is wrong: August 10th, 2009. I am begging for help as I am overdosing, and the only answer is an automated response about how suicide is bad. In my brother's room. Other than that, there is activity in the house, so it isn't that scary. Wake up. Check for False Awakening, but the check succeeds, and I realize I really am awake. Go back to sleep.

First lucid:

It starts as a documentary about some gangster. It says that the gangster called for backup, because the cops were raiding him. I become one of the cops, and a gunfight ensues. I then realize I am dreaming. "Sounds like fun", I think to myself, and start shooting. For some reason, the situation slowly changes into a western, with the cars turning into horses and the pistols turning into revolvers. I decide to ride away and explore. I find a Native American village, and hang out there... quietly killing randoms. I wake up.

Lucid Nightmare:

I look at my fingers to do a reality check, and I am very disturbed to find that one of my fingers is 95% torn off, and is loosely hanging off the middle knuckle. I accept that I am dreaming, OR may be having some weird medical emergency. I go downstairs and notice the drink I asked for sitting on the table. I try to leave the house, but the door is locked. I look above the door to a sign saying something like "You will pay for what you have done, and you will NEVER leave." I realize this is a dream, and I try to make myself wake up, but I can't. I try to call my tulpa but the words won't come out. I turn around, terrified, and look in the mirror. There's two of me. One matches my actions, but the other just sits there, grinning at me. My dog walks over and barks at where the other me WOULD be if he occupied physical space, before looking as though he is in a trance.



The next part is disturbing, so don't read on if you can't stomach it.



The dog walks over to me, knocks me over and then rapes me. That's the last I remember before I wake up.





WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED THERE?!

07-19-2013 -- [I don't usually have nightmares, but I sure did, last night. And it was in multi-part. I would wake up, then drift back to sleep and be back in the same dream, with the same root causes, but each time things escalated.] Somehow I went back to work at Hewitt. There were some people there who liked me and wanted to give me another chance, even though I don't have a voice, and so couldn't speak on the phone. Instead they had me doing desk work, processing paperwork or something like that. Even so, some of the bigwigs don't like me.

In the dream I carried around a big backpack filled with books to read (including a large hardcover book with something like six sci-fi/fantasy novels in a series printed small in the big omnibus edition, several bags of balloons, my dream notebook, possibly my notebook computer. Fairly big pile of stuff.) The employer was Hewitt, and most of the people worked on phones in a call center environment, but the building is one I have often dreamed I worked security in, based on the TAMS building in Tustin, with staircases leading upstairs in two separate parts of the building leading to two separate upstairs areas that don't connect. And the huge warehouse area in the middle is far more JC Penney than what the TAMS building had.

Earlier parts are somewhat generic and sketchy, but one part is in an outdoor section, where people are working in cubicals outside, which makes no sense whatsoever. But for some reason I am allowed to set up a small tent to work in when there is room. Unfortunately, the place I usually set up this tent is now overflowing with tables and booths in a kind of job fair, and I am having to look around to try and figure out somewhere to set up my tent, just to come to accept that today there is nowhere I can set it up. This doesn't stop one guy from coming up to me and asking what the heck the tent is about, anyway, and who do I think I am, and why am I allowed this special treatment?

I have to go and sit at my usual cubical, working with the friendly, young, Hispanic guy that I really shared a cubical with at Hewitt, even if after six or seven years I can no longer remember his name. But with the job fair going on, they aren't bringing any of the usual paperwork around, so I don't really have anything to do, and am pretty much wasting the day sitting around and talking. Eventually one of the managers who doesn't like me comes over and gives me an assignment to take something to the other side of the building and deliver it there, and I have no problem in doing so, though I am not too happy with her attitude.

When I come back, I find the delivery was a ruse to get me out of the area so she could gather up my backpack/box, my computer, and anything and everything else of mine that might be in the cubical. This angers me. Not to going through my stuff, that is covered by company policy, and I can see the point of it, but the going behind my stuff behind my back, without even letting me know they are doing it. I realise that some of the bigwigs who don't like me have decided it is time to get rid of me, and are looking for a reason to fire me, but I don't care. To me, this behavior is beyond the pale, and I am ready to quit on the spot because of it, regardless of whether this is giving them just what they want. I ask around to find out just where she works, and I am told she is in the Obamacare department, and am given vague directions to it. Great ... Obamacare ... so this is probably something political. This just gets worse and worse.

As I am searching the building, looking for her desk or office, it seems more like Sears in the Buena Park Mall, in the layout and where the elevators are located. It takes a fair amount of looking, but I eventually find her. She's got all my stuff there and is going through it, and I start grabbing parts of it from her hands and my bag/box, and sorting through the stuff that is mine, and the stuff that belongs to the company, but that I have use of, seperating them out. At the same time I am lecturing her about the sneaky way she went about all this, telling her that if she had just told me they were going to search my stuff and had me present for it, I would not have had any complaints, but this is bullcrap.

Meanwhile, I am pulling bag after bag of balloons out of my bag, and dumping them on her desk. Though it makes no sense, for some reason they have been providing me with balloons, and I am giving them back. Then it turns into bags and bags of potato chips, snack cakes and chocolate that belong to the company, and that I never put there. I have to assume she was putting them in there to frame me, giving her a reason to fire me. I don't give her the chance, as I dump all the stuff on her desk, telling her I quit! She says I can't quit, because she is in the process of firing me, and I tell her too late, I already did. I find an extra check in my bag, and figure if it is my final check, I'll keep it, but it turns out to be somebody else's check, so I toss it on her desk, also.

Now that everything in my bag/back pack is really mine, I gather it all up, and am ready to leave the building, but she orders me to use the warehouse exit, rather than any of the other ways out of the building, and I don't know why. But as I am walking through the warehouse, some of the workers are calling out to me, distracting me, and driving fork lifts and things close to me, and in the process I set down my bag and dodge some stuff, and when I go back to where my bag was, it is gone. I now realize she wanted me to exit through the warehouse so she could have somebody in the warehouse steal my stuff. I don't get why, but I am not happy about it.

[It was about this point that I woke up and fell back asleep for the first time.] I storm back into the office and start trying to find her, but now she is hiding from me, and has made her cubical look almost identical to everybody elses. So I am looking and looking, but having no luck in finding it. I keep asking around for where her cubical is, and a few people try to point me in the right direction, but most are unhelpful, realising that I am on the outs with management, now. Eventually, when I reach the point that I am right next to it, a big worker who looks a lot like Sam on NCIS LA is very insulting, and points me at the cubical I am standing next to, and I am finally able to confront her again.

She denies everything, tries to claim I probably just mislaid my backpack, or maybe didn't even have one to begin with. She says she planned nothing, she doesn't believe me, and that I am just trying to stir up troubles. But a couple of the more honest employees back me up, at least in part. One points out that 'Sam', who is carrying a fantasy anthology, hates reading, and they know they have seen me with that book in my possession for any number of weeks. But she refuses to listen to anything, claiming that, at worst, I misplaced my bag in the warehouse, and am making wild accusations against good people to stir up trouble.

So I am back in the warehouse, looking around for my bag (it is kind of like a huge yellow duffle bag of the style (but not color) that soldiers or seamen use), but now much more of the warehouse staff is against me, and more and more I find myself involved in slightly dangerous near misses with warehouse equipment which is where it shouldn't be. Stuff that isn't really all that dangerous, but kind of threatening, like they are trying to warn me off. But I keep looking around, and one of the guys finally gets angry enough to get more serious. It seems like there are two 'levels' to this warehouse, and he is somehow driving a forklift on the second level. These aren't floors, that would make sense, but not be dangerous. Instead it is like a second level about fifteen feet above the first that is formed from catwalks and the like. Stuff that is there, but isn't super sturdy.

Anyway, there are some racks of pipes, the kind and size that they sometimes install along the street, segments perhaps 12 feet long and about a foot in diameter, and lots of these pipes are stacked up together, and one of them drives a forklift out on to this rack of pipes so that they break out of the rack and start to rain down around me. Worse, the forklift no longer has a sturdy base, so it is plunging down on top of me, as well. While this is not a nightmare yet, it is getting more and more serious, and I end up laying flat on the ground while the forklift comes to a stop about six inches above me. Getting close enough to truly be dangerous!

[Somewhere around here is when I woke up for the second time, then fell back to sleep.] I am soon stalking through the building, looking for the supervisor who started all this again, and she is still hiding, so it takes a lot of time and effort. By this point I am determined I am getting paid for the (at this point turning into two days) time that I am spending looking for my stuff which they have stolen from me. I finally find her and start to berate her about the latest attacks, and she tries to categorically deny everything, saying there is no way such a thing almost happened, just to have one of the employees not under her thumb come up and say "Oh no, so-and-so did dump his forklift down a load of pipes. We were wondering why he had been so stupid," so again, I had witnesses backing me up.

Suddenly she stops for a moment, and seems to remember something. She tells me that the black high school around the corner was off yesterday and is off today, and maybe some of them have seen something, and can help me to find my stuff. She is very insistant that I go ask them about it, and is telling me what to say to them, giving me a quote in a foreign language, though I am not sure if it is in French or Spanish. Anyway, she keeps repeating it over and over again until I actually write it down. About that time, my friend Carl, who neither of us saw standing there, steps out and verbally tears her a new one. He may have even physically attacked her slightly, ranting about what kind of a horrible person was she? I say something like "Let me guess ... what she was telling me to say was a horrible insult that would get me killed if I said it to the students at the school? Did you really think I was dumb enough that I would ask what you told me to, without first getting a trusted translation?"

I explain that I now have actual evidence that she is trying to kill me, waving the paper [in real life, my handwriting, no help, but in the dream it seemed it would work as evidence], and now she is going to be in so much more trouble. I angrily stalk off into the warehouse to continue looking for my bag. Problem is, now she knows she made a mistake, and the kid gloves are off. There are at least three or four of the warehouse workers now trying to kill me, and I am being chased by workers using all kinds of equipment.

When I try to duck into the racks of stuff and climb a little to get out of range, the kinds of cranes that work on ships or airplanes, the elevated ones that move around on two parallel tracks, are being used to chase me around and try to crush my head if I don't stay low enough to be in range of the forklifts. For a good ten or fifteen minutes, I am running around, fleeing for my life as there are constant near misses, screaming for help, but because of the no voice thing, nobody can hear me.

Finally I have made it near the edge of the warehouse, back by where the office area starts again, and pursuit dies off as I run into Carl, who has seen the last little bit of it, and is horrified that they are trying to kill me. That's when I woke for the final time, almost hyperventilating from all the running I'd been doing in the dream.

Dream of Thursday 18th - Friday 19th July 2013

I was in my room, in the exact same position how I fell asleep. I felt very weak and immediately had this vague feeling of fear, a realisation that something was wrong.
My little brother, my mother and my father (the latter being dead in real life) walked in my room through the doorway (which was in a different position than in reality). Because of the light of the hallway, I could only see their silhouettes. My little brother walked towards me and said: "I'm going to school. Hug?"
Something was wrong. I tried talking, which was very difficult. Which huge effort I was able to say: "J...., I don't want a hug right now. Okay?"
My little brother answered: "Okay", and just disappeared, and so did my mother and father. I didn't want him to be sad, so I said a little louder: "But have fun on school, alright?" No answer. I wondered if it was sufficient to make him happy again.

Then... A hand appeared on the edge of my bed, the palm directed towards the ceiling. The hand was softly moving, gesturing: "More."
Immediately I realise it's the monster and that I'm dreaming. (LUCIDITY)
I try to manipulate my dream and do something funny, so that I'll feel less afraid. I decide to put cake in her hand. Normal cake will be difficult because it's so light-coloured, but against the dark background of my room chocolate cake shouldn't be too hard. So I snap my fingers and make cake appear on her hand. I say: "Chocolate cake, bitch, mmmmm."
The hand disappears under the bed for 1 second, and the monsters says: "Mmmmm", on the exact same tone I had and with my voice. But the next second she's already there again. Waves of fear radiate out of my body. She stands up, and I become even more afraid... But curious as well. Maybe I'll finally be able to see her face, which never happened before. But where her head was supposed to be, there's only some indistinct blur.
Her clothing is very clear and very detailed: I can see that she wears a red schoolskirt, and a black vest. Her legs are not made out of grey and dead flesh, like usual, but are alive and healthy.
She climbs into my bed and desparatly I try to control my fear. She hums a weird tune as she crawls towards me. Right when I think that my fear is gone and my mind is empty, she says in English (not my first language):
"See, you, I'm still drowning." She violently bites the side of my waist and then the dream is over.



Nearly got a freaking heart attack when I woke up, realised I was awake, and still heard the humming tune. It appeared to be a chainsaw of somebody in my street who was sawing a tree. So the humming is not really relevant.
New things: she wasn't dead. This was a very, very alive monster.
Crawling into my bed and biting happened before, though.

Any thoughts?

PS: very angry that I didn't come up with anything better than chocolate cake. Wise lesson learnt this night: food doesn't solve problems.
PPS: I don't count this nightmare as lucid, because I'm always lucid in these nightmares.

I have a bunch of apologies to make. For one this dream is very strange. For two, I'm a day late, I had this while on vacation in Michigan earlier and the week and we were so busy bikeriding and kyaking that I never took the time to sit down and type this one out.
I actually classify this as a lucid nightmare. The inability to control it and the idea of being attacked by drowning and tornadoes... it kindof sucks.

I'm in some sort of lava/volcano place. I'm walking along on a wide shelf of rock that is angled slightly to the left. I take note that a thin layer of lava is spreading downward (there is a lava river on either side of the rock shelf.) So I know that unless I hurry, I won't be able to beat the lava and get to the other side of the shelf.
I don't make it in time. I decide to turn back. It's too late, lava has flooded the shelf on both sides. I'm trapped. I run through the lava to get to the other side, where I was originally going. The lava hurts my feet really bad to walk through and feels sort of sticky, but I am able to make it.
Once I get across, I see the shelf ends where there is a river of (already, were getting into some dream logic here) blue lava.
I was beginning to get lucid at this point, and had the feeling that killing myself in the lava wouldn't have any permanent consequence. (Plus, I was surrounded by erupting lava and volcanoes anyway, so either way, I was going to die.)
I jumped into the blue lava. It was very painful, but only lasted for a second. I died and became a "soul" that floated up to a safe spot away from all the lava on a small ridge. Once I was deposited there, I was in a new body and became fully lucid.
Ok, I wasn't fully lucid yet, but I knew I was dreaming. All of these computer graphic hologram menus appeared and contained various options that supposedly would allow me to terraform the planet that I was on.
I changed the settings to create a more temperate, earth like planet instead of a volcanic planet. Once I did that, I was in a forest type area with some kind of play structure for kids. It seemed to be wintertime, because all of the trees were missing their leaves.
I began to stabilize the dream using voice commands to increase the clarity. I began to notice that I could feel my position on the play structure (That I had climbed) and could tell which parts of my body were holding the weight. As I finished stabilizing, I noticed a small crowd of 20-some people were watching me stabilize the dream.
When I looked at these people, I couldn't help but think that they were looking for guidance, like I was their dream king or something. Just an interesting thought that I had while dreaming.
I eventually found Lia, my dream guide. But as soon as I found her, she began changing into an older man. When she had finished transforming, (s)he looked like Jonny Cage from the Mortal Kombat games.
Enh, sense when does ANYthing that happens in my dreams make sense anyway.?
All of the sudden I realized that I couldn't breathe. I remained calm and somehow realized that the entire area was actually about 100 feet underwater. I nearly passed out swimming to the surface, but as soon as I reached the surface, the water drained away. I should also note that the water was very clear. I'm not entirely sure how the area got flooded like so.
I think for a few moments somewhere in there I caught a glimpse of my dream "Nemesis" a boy named Jonathan. I think he was the one flooding the area in an attempt to kill me.
The next thing I knew, me and Lia were loaded onto this small iron gondola. There was a very large strong figure bearing armor that looked like the power armor from Fallout. The figure somewhat forcefully put us in, and slams the door.
Ok, no more video game references in this dream, I promise.
The cable car moves very fast, and the cable seems free form, as though it's solid and not tethered to anything. In that sense, it was less of a cable car and more of a... sky train? But no, it was a gondola, not a train.
The gondola follows the rail/wire high above the area we were just in. I can see the play structure was just a small part of a large island. Most of the island was actually made up of abandoned factories and bordered on all sides by docks and huge shipping cranes. The play structure where I had attained my lucidity was in the middle in a small grove of forest.
Around the island there are other areas of land. The island actually divided a river, and there was more snowy terrain dotted with factories and apartment buildings all around us. The river was not frozen.
My attention turns back to inside the gondola. Lia is sitting opposite to me, changing back to the way she usually looks.
Now comes the weird dream guide dialogue. I can't remember why I asked this, but I asked if Jonathan (my dream "Nemesis") was able to leave my dreams and go into other people's dreams.
Lia told me that he could in fact leave my dreams.
I proceeded to ask her some other question about my "second REAL lucid dream" and Jonathan. (My second real lucid dream didn't involve either Lia or Jonathan, it was just dream control practice.)
The gondola was now really low over a road. The road cut through the same sort of snowy forest that we had been in earlier. But the reason I had looked up was that there was a massive tornado just off the left side of the gondola.
I looked ahead, and saw a whole plethora of tornadoes, that seemed to be lining up with the intent of destroying the cable car we were riding in.
The cable car seemed really strong though. We passed straight through the tornadoes and the car barely rocked. Lia told me that the car was very strong, and despite its rusty, distressed appearance, she was no liar.
Then things got really strange. The tornadoes turned sideways and began flailing around like wips. I started the process of waking myself up.
"He's bringing the whole dream down on us!"
The gondola was torn off the rail and flung onto the road below. The car broke open. The last thing I remember was the both of us getting picked up in the tornado before I woke up.