non-lucid

Morning of November 28, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,972-04. Reading time (optimized): 1 min. Readability score: 56.



I am in an unknown residence which my dream self erroneously perceives as my current address as is often the case. I own a big computer printer that also serves as a modem. Much of my current conscious self’s identity is present. I am aware of Zsuzsanna’s presence.

I am looking at the Internet, but something happens that causes something to happen to the printer, though I do not perceive it as needing repair by the end of my dream. I may have bumped part of the top. There is a row of several cylindrical containers, horizontally oriented, that resemble oversized cylindrical fuses of about four inches long. They are full of blue liquid. Two of the rightmost ones fall out from where they are connected and spill over the circuitry. Most of the electronics and circuit boards at the bottom are visible. My printer has no cover.

Later, I see that an ice-like (or powder-like) residue is covering all of the circuitry. First, I think the printer was damaged by the spill, though I then consider it is part of a process to keep it from overheating.

---

It is likely that the process relates to gamma-aminobutyric acid, the natural form, not medical. The fluid in the containers is also an association with melatonin. As electronic circuity is autosymbolism for the brain and concurrent brain activity, my dream at this point would indicate pulling back on the initiation of consciousness (in relevance to thinking or attempting to read) to sleep longer.

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12.06.2018
09:00 AM

Hide and Seek (Non-Lucid)

This dream was long but hard to understa d so some of the details are fuzzy. I am in a house with a lot of people. A monster or murderer is killing people. I run from room to roomm looking for somewhere to hide. It feels like hide and seek. I keep finshing other people and some of then are scared im the thing

12.07.2018
06:00 AM

Video Game Guild (Non-Lucid)

I am playing a new sandbox video game that is 2d in the style of teraria. I meet some friends and we start a guild. One of them is the youtuber Kiwo. Time skips forward and we are the largest and most powerful guild in the game. Most of the dream I am exploring our giant base and there is some drama between the founders.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I dream I am watching and at the same time living in the flesh an Italian movie about a guy who adopts two orphan boys about 2 years old. It is lovely and adorable, until a mobster wants to settle an issue with him and kidnaps the boys to raise them as his own. He tries to make them copies of himself, so they are dressed like little gangsters and he takes them to see all about his business, including whacking other people. The kids are becoming traumatized and insensitive.
One day their father comes to rescue them with a bunch of men and shoots the gangsters when they were about to climb some staircase to enter a building. One of the kids is so traumatized that he runs away from is daddy, crying, but some of the rescuers go after him. The other kid stands still without a reaction, but when his dad comes to him he bursts into tears and says "papi" (although that's spanish). I also cuddle the poor kid.

Doing tourism with my mom in Italy. Drivers are just insane, speeding on tight alleys, almost hitting us. We hear a crash. I fly over the houses to get a view. It's a truck with vegetables who went over the pier and landed on a boat. The driver can't believe it. Meanwhile my mom arrives and wants to help him by buying him vegetables, but I don't think it's the best time to do it.
We go to the historical city center, crazy ladies put pots with plants outside their doors, basically filling the narrow alleys with obstacles on which we trip for a couple of times. We enter a very cute restaurant which is also a b&b and I recognize it from having stayed here before. My mom confirms she recognizes it from pictures. I go talk to the owner and they say I left a big bottle of hemp oil when I last checked out from here. I had been worried the customs would not have allowed it, but this time I will try to take it back with me.

I am staying at some rich friend's mansion. She is an Asian video artist. She shows me a video clio she did for an H&M campaign, very conceptual with people swimming in the sea and a centaur swimming with them, that becomes a horse on land. She says it wasn't picked up by the brand, because they didn't get the meaning, which was none. I said I liked it, even without any meaning, it was trippy and inspiring.
She puts down the usb pen with some of her work and we check for some paintings I left in her house last time. I promise to take them with me this time. They are hideous and amateur, but she encourages me to continue doing it. Then she notices the pen is gone and freaks out. I say the only person I saw coming in was a certain guy, part of her team and she goes look for him in the studio. She is furious because she knows he wants to steal her ideas and undermine her work. She yells at him and they begin a nasty discussion,
I decide to go check the rest of the house. Her amazing kitchen is on a hanging deck over a cliff, with glass walls with view to the town underneath. There's a large spiral stair to a garden below. From the garden, there is a large entrance to a lounge area where I encounter some of her friends chillin'. One of them says he found a recording of me singing a Grease medley and he wants to play it for everybody to listen. I say no, no, I am embarrassed, but he assures it is really good and they should hear. They are VIPs and might help me launch a career, but I run away to hide under a staircase. Another lady, also Asian, comes to sit by my side with lots of bags, says she is leaving for her flight, but feeling very tired and asks to rest her head on my lap for a while. Then some guy looking for me asks me to join back the group, he insists they really liked my recording. Along the way he sings bits of the song, trying to trick me into singing, but there are people all the way on the hallways and I just can't sing in front of people. He understands. Says we will just be watching another friend athlete on tv and not bother me with the singing.
We watch her on some competition. She is also Asian, very pretty and with some very original outfit and hairdo, unlike anything I have ever seen in sports. At first I thought she was doing pole vault, but then realize it is some kind of new modality, in which athletes gotta climb a kind of metallic ladder reaching the highest possible step, with a minimum jumping movement, like cats do. I think she breaks a record and everyone is celebrating.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am at some harsh environment, like ruins in the middle of a marsh. Looks like a Tomb Raider game. I have to jump from mini platforms to rafts that are already filled with other people, who look Eastern, like Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, not sure.... Then from the rafts we need to reach safe ground, and many die along the way. I manage to get to land, but I am taken as a slave. I find myself in the hands of women who are having fun dressing me up with rich eccentric dresses, probably for sexual slavery to some rich lord.

I run away and hide ... in a shopping center... I find a small vet office where I bump into my RL vet. He asks me what I think about his new office, it is smaller with less equipment, but he is going through difficulties and trying to keep the business afloat. I feel a bit lost, but say it's ok, while I look at what I am wearing and finding it out of context. He offers me a t-shirt and jeans and says I can stay there and change, but he has to go out. I feel without control of my body, so I slam everything down into the floor and make a huge mess. People from a restaurant next door come to see what's going on and comfort me, thinking I may be having a stroke of some kind. Then I have this insight that I must go after someone who had parked the car right in front and is running away, while leaving behind a bunch of red and green balloons, which are filled with nerve gas and hallucinogenic gas. I was probably already under the influence of it and soon I start getting hallucinations. I hold my breath as I can and try to run to a safe area. Too late to help all these people, as the balloons are popping and there is gas everywhere. I remember that I can fly, so I rise up in the air, in the hope that I can rise above the gas.
Up in the sky I find a kind of floating amusement park, with giant balloon figures, like Disney characters and in the middle of it, a cabin with a girl inside, looking lonely and sad. She opens the door and welcomes me there. She seems to know what is happening and feeling sad for not being able to help. She is glad she could help me.

I am with Riverstone and we have a baby boy. But i feel strange that I am seeing this kid for the first time and he is already 2 years old. We are discussing what to name him. Meanwhile he is getting curious about going outside and I freak out. We never go outside (no idea how we get food).
One day he sees kids playing on the street. He is excited and wants to join them. We on the other hand, just want to tell the kids to hide. It is very dangerous. Then some kids at another building started making signs warning the kids to hide, but they don't understand, look like they are not from here and have no clue. A caravan of military jeeps and tanks comes marching and I tell my boy to duck and be quiet. They start shooting. I guess the kids died. Later we get into a car and get out of there. That's when we cross paths with another car with some people we hadn't seen in a long time and we realize this boy is not really our kid, but their kid and they have our baby instead, a little girl. They also have my mother with them. We decide to do a risky exchange in the middle of the road with the sound of gunshots nearby. I give them the boy and they give me back my girl. My mom also joins us in tears and then we all head to safety.

With some friends, including Zilla, we're like orphans in a harsh place. We've been taken in by some gangster organization against our will. My friends have accepted it, they take care of us, feed us, give us education. But it doesn't feel right to me. One day they take us all on a trip to some tropical paradise, everybody is rejoicing and I am overwhelmed with the landscapes, the beaches, the waterfalls, but I always suspect their motives.
One of the bad guys in charge, one day picks up a fight with me. They say it is for practice, to keep us always alert, but I think they just want to beat us, because we are weaker and can't fight back. On that day, it happens that I win and he takes it badly. They warn me to never do that again, I'm supposed to be a punch bag, just as I suspected.
Later on I mention to one of the few ladies in the organization that I am sick of this and want to go away. She goes tell her superiors. They threaten me. They own us.
Someday we are enjoying a swim in a crowded swimming pool and some people come by and invite the older kids to follow them as we've been selected to a new group following a new training on martial arts and civics. I first reject, my friends go. But after I see them learning the basics of Kenpo and recall my own training which I miss greatly, so I can't help but join them. They also teach us some sort of theatrical dance and later inject some communist propaganda in the middle of it, like waving the communist party flag. Most kids feel a bit awkward but don't question it. Except me, I abandon the class and go talk to the superiors and tell them they can't get away with this, they must tell the kids what it is that they are luring us too. They are quite upset and basically fed up with me. I don't think I thought this through...

Morning of December 7, 2018. Friday.

Dream #: 18,981-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 66.



I become vividly aware of being in my brother-in-law Bob’s car in the back seat, on the right side. (This subliminally stems from sleeping on the right side of our bed, though my conscious self’s identity is otherwise absent as I have not been in La Crosse since 1994. My dream self’s location in the back seat implies being in temporary isolation from my reticular activating system’s processing.) It is nighttime. The parked car is in the middle of the east side of Wood Street. (This is scene is erroneous, as Bob would typically only park on Loomis Street near where he lived.)

An unknown male is backing up his car, which remains perpendicular, from the other side of the street, towards Bob’s car. Although I think his vehicle might hit hard, as he does not seem to notice Bob’s car, the back of it only bumps the right side near my door.

I start yelling at him and leave Bob’s car to go to the front of it. By now, a few other unknown people are present. At least one police officer (a preconscious simulacrum that does not activate) is nearby, but there is not much interaction (due to my level of dream state consciousness in the transition to the next scene). The man remains in his car. I point out to the others how the right front wheel of Bob’s car is now bent, the top at an outward angle. I go over to the left side and see that the left front tire has what resembles a big pile of white cream (or white “clay”) near it that appears as if it had been squeezed out from a short cylindrical protuberance on the tire. (Gamma-aminobutyric acid, or GABA, in its natural form, is rare autosymbolism, yet has appeared in several dreams recently.)

I walk back to Loomis Street, into the backyard of the house by way of the alley, and enter the house via the back door. As I walk around, I see that everyone is in bed. I want to tell them about the mishap with the car. The house is dark, and I complain that it is before eight o'clock in asking why everyone is already asleep. One bedroom replaces the porch, with the bed visible beyond the living room’s doorway and long ways to it, but my dream self does not recognize this error. At this point, I am more viably subliminally aware I am in the dream state (as validated by seeing people in bed and the RAS precursor of the previous scene not initiating), which triggers the next stage of the dreaming process.

Vestibular system correlation kicks in as usual at this level of dream state consciousness. I am in Southside La Crosse now, near a group of about seven unfamiliar teenagers, both males and females. I easily allow myself to rise in the air and hover for a time, but I also fly around for short distances. Most of the other people are surprised. I tell them that I cannot understand why people walk over a long distance (such as from one side of town to another) when flying is so much easier. The others take turns rising in the air for a short time.

From here, an unknown male happily flies with me, including through the service area of a restaurant (caused by subliminal hunger during sleep). I eventually arrive in the parking lot of a shopping mall. However, it also has a vague association with my old middle school in Arcadia.

The parking lot (autosymbolism for an inactive body while sleeping) usually comes at a closer emerging consciousness stage than does a porch (in which porch, warehouse, shed or garage, parking lot typically correlates with incremental bands of concurrent consciousness in the waking process). There are a few unknown men who are amazed at how I hover and fly around. They talk about gravity and how I am “defying the laws of gravity.” I tell them that flying is a natural activity and that you only have to allow yourself to rise in the air.

They continue to mention gravity as I walk to the other side of the parking lot, near the street, to prepare to fly again. I cheerfully yell back at them, “If gravity existed as you say it does, then the moon would be stuck to the Earth!” My affirmation stems from how the dream self and its imaginary physicality (moon) is not bound by the physical (Earth).

---

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Once again at my friend Zilla's home, actually her mom's. I go outside on the neighborhood for a walk and find lots of new shoes from a shop discarded by the dumpster. Some are still in the original boxes, but I will need bags to carry them with me. My friends, Zilla and Licas, they come by and we arrange to go get bags at home to rescue those shoes. At some point I am there guarding it so that no one else takes it and a couple of policemen comes ask me what I am doing. They think I am responsible for all those shoes on the ground and I could get a fine for it. But I explain what I am actually doing and ask if they can wait for my friends to come with bags.

Later on a department store, a vintage thing, looks like it's the 1930's. I am with a friend, a cute curly blond lady. She sees another lady she dislikes, paying for some very luxurious towels and leaving them unattended at the cashier's balcony. In a moment of distraction of the cashier, she steals the towels and runs towards me, so we go away before anyone notices. I become accidentally involved. We head to an elevator and she acts all paranoid as we descend to the garage level. I actually think she might have gotten away with it. I feel like I'm in a Hitchcock movie. I go home by train. Unfortunately there must have been witnesses or something, because days later I receive a notification to pay for the towels she stole - they considered me accomplice - and they even charged me 9€ for a pen I took by mistake that I had used to sign a cheque.

Some epic story, I think in China , but could be in Korea, Mongolia. This one felt a bit like a Bong Joon-ho movie. It was about some invaders, from another kingdom or tribe, and some people being driven out of their lands and persecuted. Their rulers are probably dead but there is a prince and a princess whom they believe are still alive but were captured. They escape through the mountains and reach an arid plateau. they are walking in two parallel lines along a path crossing the plateau, when their prince and princess appear at the end of the lines, running, looking beaten down. They rejoice, happy that they escaped. Unfortunately they were being followed by the enemy army, which is coming ready for an ambush. They have like a giant white sleeve-like trap they pull along the line of people, capturing them like fish in a net. I don't know how it is possible, but it works. And I am trapped with them.

12.05.2018
09:00 AM

Xanathar Errand Boy (Non-Lucid)

I am in a car accident and the other driver is a lacky of the beholder crime lord Xanathar. I am coerced into joining the guild under fear of disentefration.

The first errand I have to do is get rid of evidence of the car crash which I do with another guild member. I then meet the Xanathar in person and he shows me a collection kf d&d miniatures. Apparently he collects them and has more that he wants me to go to the store and buy for him.

At the store I only find half of the ones on his list and it worries me. I take the ones I can find to the check out. I leave them there for a minute and when i come back they are gone. I tell the cashier I need the back and it's a life or death situation. She finds them in the go back bin and I buy them.

Back at the Xanathar dungeon I am showing Xanathar the new minis and he is happy. I try very hard not to let him realize there are any missing. Right about then I wake up.

12-4

Fragment (a): Guy with vape-ish thing that has a rubber cover on mouthpiece, like a new paintbrush. He gives me douche chills. He's explaining something in a condescending way? Darkish wood room?

Dream (i): In a very dark crawlspace/attic/room, sneaking around, don't want to be found. Strong sense of foreboding, remember thinking "oh no" after feeling fear, remembering in-dream that fear/expectation will cause the thing to happen. I don't get close to lucidity though. Strange how I can peripherally recognize things to do/not do in a dream, and realize them, but not realize I'm in a dream. Fell through with companion onto a palette/tub in the corner of the room; window across the way? Transition, outside 8 on dog walking path by poop bag station. Talking to dad about politics/voting? Notable as the first time I've dreamed about this area of 8, which is strange because I've walked the path thrice daily for over a year living here.

Dream (ii): FA-type dream, but in totally distorted version of 8. Has almost the same vibe as (i) (foreboding), but now F is here. She's gotten dressed in her pajamas again and is sitting on the couch, I join her there (third person moment). Notable because in the waking between (i) and (ii), I MILDed that I wanted to return to the dream location of (i), and in a sense they were very close together in a way that I can't quite put my finger on. It's just that "dream understanding" that comes to you.

Fragment (b): Series of in-bed FAs.

Lucid #71: In a house, don't remember the first few moments of the dream, suddenly gain consciousness and push my hands into a wall. Feels cool. When I pull them back out, I have rotten/termite-eaten wood one one of my index fingers. Something looks wrong about my wrist where the (sleeve?) meets my hand -- the overlap is backwards. It looks my hand (which looks totally real) is actually a glove, and the sleeve is my real body? So I pull off my hand like a glove, and underneath there's a foot! It's not mine because it's not hairy and looks feminine, and the toes are painted blue (#00008b looks like a match). I feel it with my hand and then put it against my face to see if it feels real -- it does! I have a hand foot! How strange. I don't know for sure now, but I remember after waking thinking that the senses to my hand felt different -- it didn't feel like I could control a hand and those nerve impulses would be "translated" into foot movements -- it actually felt like controlling another foot in the place of my hand. If that makes sense. But there's no way to verify that now I guess. Anyway, after feeling the foot, I was torn between sitting down and meditating and teleporting to my dream world, and I ended up hesitating and woke up.

Fragment (c): Series of controllable hypnagogic episodes. First, a series of faces that I could move, and who had personalities I could understand. I don't remember the second. I also had one or more dreams after this but lost them.



Notes: Excited about the December Contest!

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Something with Zilla. I am preparing toasts in a kitchen and I put lots of margarine on it. Can't remember details, but she and a friend are in the next room making arrangements for something and I can see and hear through the walls and I am feeling excited with this ability. There is a guy too and at some point they all take a bus and I know from my super-power that the the guy is carrying a good amount of money with him and they advised him to be discreet.

Me and mom drive into a very degraded neighborhood, looking for the house of a lady to pick her up for something. Some houses are falling apart, people here are really poor. On arrival to the address, my mom crosses path with her older brother who doesn't get along with her and vice-versa, but he tries to get a ride from us. She pretty much ignores him and goes to sit on some low wall that surrounds he area. He then goes away with someone else. Then a third person says that maybe we should have been more sympathetic, that the man is down because one of his grandfathers died. But this grandfather isn't grandfather of my mom. He was a well known gypsy with a reputation. My mom doesn't feel any obligation of anything and anyway we also had family members dying and he never showed up.
We pick up the person we came for, she lives with kids in the basement of one of these houses.
We go to the city center, go through some place like a street market, looks like a dystopian future, but everyone dresses like the 80s, including us. There is a celebration of an election going on, but it looks chaotic and dangerous like in a Mad Max movie. And we are worried about two street kittens that mom used to feed in this area and were forced to move on to another area and now we can't find them.

Visiting my university and particularly the student's association. All is so different, dark, degraded, once again Mad Max like. Instead of political work the kids are having hardcore parties and the association looks like a really shabby non-recommendable club.

I go outside and walk the streets and I spot a little squirrel looking for food. I have some cat food with me and I slowly approach and try to feed him. When he finally caves in and comes eating on my hand, I sit on the floor against a wall. Then some guys come warn me that I am sitting against the Israel's embassy and that I'd better move on or they'll find suspicious and shoot me. I get up and as I walk towards their entrance, I am dragged by a crowd who is also in celebration mode and apparently welcoming someone important. I don't want to have anything to do with that, so I cross the road only to see myself in the path of a car with black windows, escorted by bikes and lots of security. Once again I really don't want to be in the middle of all this.

At home, I check my non-lethal traps for rats. All empty. And then I hear noises in the walls and realize they are infested with rats nests. I open a few holes and there they are, some very large rats. And they look at me with their really cute eyes like challenging me, knowing that I don't want to kill them. But I think I need more traps and maybe will even try to catch them by hand, as they are so many.

A post apocalyptic scene with zombies. I am watching from a distance a man on top of a car in the middle of water. He thinks he is safe there, but the water is knee deep and 3 zombies head towards him. Luckily we're dealing with slow zombies. So I have time to go there and try to help. As I fight through the zombies, a military jeep comes by with half a dozen soldiers, men and women, and they take care of it. They take the man who is injured and say are they can't take me as the jeep is full. But 3 ladies in the back seat squeeze themselves and still find a little space for me. On the way they are arguing with one of them who shoots black zombies more than whites and he does so also to those zombies who are not an immediate threath. Since there is an official program to find a cure, the protocol states they only kill the ones they really have to, but they noticed this guy is trigger happy regarding black zombies. He denies but everybody can see he is a racist and is using the opportunity to shoot some black people in the hopes that when the cure is achieved, the world will have less of them. We are shocked.

Somewhere in a middle eastern town. In some compound with my dogs in a garage. My dog Lady finds a way to break the gate and they all run outside and disappear in the labyrinth of a street market. I freak out at the idea they get lost and don't come back, so I follow them and shout their names, so they don't lose me as a reference. I spot Maya and Soraia and lure them to me. Since they are the smaller ones, I grab them and then go look for the others. It is easier to get the other to follow if I carry these two. But on the way back, Maya and Tara become human girls and they want to buy scarfs from a salesman. I say no, Tara insists. She gets a blue scarf and somehow she has the money to pay, but she doesn't leave a tip. The couple of owners and their family start saying profanities and insulting the girls, but they speak in portuguese and I realize they are actually a portuguese family. I go to them and very politely I say that I understood all they said. They feel awkward. I explain she doesn't know about tips and the local customs, even I didn't know, but that they are the best people and don't deserve to be insulted that way. I leave a tip them and then we go away.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Something about russians and some test. Something on a public swimming pool, with a couple of ladies, crossing the locker room to avoid or meet someone, but then getting excited about a swim in the pool.

A friend says he invented a simulation of a nuclear bomb, but without radiation and the blast is harmless so wants to test it. I'm not feeling sure about that, but he insists on blowing it up and says we can hide in an underground shelter nearby. Strangely enough, he sets it off in the middle of a town, so I wonder about all other people if the test goes wrong. Anyway, he is not going to stop for anything and he blasts the thing off. The shock wave is strangely slow, so we can run ahead of it and seek the shelter. He doesn't go, but me and Alex and Zilla we run to it. Zilla is the only one who knows where it is. Alex trips when we cross a bridge and he grabs a piece of my clothing asking for help. But I tell him "it's ok, the bomb is harmless, you'll be fine." And I shrug him off and keep going (watch a bitch I can be). I look back a few steps later and ask him if he'll be ok? He ain't sure, but he doesn't complain and gets up to keep running.
Zilla finally stops behind a building with a garden and I ask if the bunker is there. She says no and that she also wants to experience the blast on the surface, but she is taking cover behind the building She finds a hose on a wall and takes an improvised shower. Recommends me to do the same, in case the blast is hot. I feel pretty upset with all this and think these guys are just fucking insane. The blast is coming.

I am a at a supermarket with Riverstone, shopping for food. Some troll just put 200€ of frozen fish on our trolley. We're vegetarian, I ask the cashier to keep it and take it away, but Riverstone is looking at all the codfish and saying maybe we should buy it for special occasions. I am pissed he is even considering that and say "absolutely no".

Everyone seems to be losing his/her voice. I am also starting to loose mine. It's some virus that's going around and infecting more and more people. It's afflictive.

Morning of December 4, 2018. Tuesday.

Dream #: 18,978-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec. Readability score: 62.



At the beginning of my non-lucid dream, I am with an unfamiliar woman (of perhaps twenty) in a fictitious room of the Barolin Street house that is implied to be between the main bedroom and the lounge room. There is no furniture in the room. Despite my lack of viable dream state awareness, I am subliminally aware that I am dreaming.

My dream self believes that we are awake but that I am ritually inducing the dream state. We are lying on the wooden floor. I am aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby, yet I also do not see the unfamiliar woman as an imposter or trespasser. (This is because she is supposed to be the usual Naiad and melatonin mediator, modeled after a young Zsuzsanna, but because I am not viably lucid, the situation is distorted and integrated with other dreaming processes.) I am teaching her how to enter the dream state by creating the illusion of water as autosymbolic of natural melatonin and as defining illusory physicality within sleep. I cause the floor to transform into shallow water (the typical beginning of dream state entry since early childhood), and we float around for a short time even though it only seems about four inches deep. There is an awareness that I am entering the dream state (even though I am already dreaming). I consider that if the water becomes very deep as we go farther into the dream state, sharks might eventually appear below us, but there is no continuity of perceived threat.

From here, I enter a more vivid dream segment. There are no thoughts about the unfamiliar woman, who has vanished, or of the previous exercise. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children are present. There is no longer any association with dream entry or being in the dream state. There is a storm approaching from the south. I look out from the lounge room and see odd clouds, one of them shaped like a top. Despite the several big fluffy clouds being white, they supposedly are storm clouds. I try to create a tornado from the one that looks like a top. Soon, there is a loud crash, and something, perhaps a large tree branch (though I do not see it) comes through the roof above the hallway, leaving an irregular hole. Rain comes in. Zsuzsanna and I look at the damage. I deliberately stand under the rain coming through the ceiling. I feel cool and refreshed, and my dream becomes much more vivid. (I have used water to vivify and sustain my dreams since early childhood.)

In the next scene, I walk around observing water flowing down the walls from the edges of the ceiling. There is a plastic storage box on a high shelf that I feel concern about getting wet, as it may contain textbooks or my dream journals. However, it does not seem that the water is anywhere but on the walls. Through the windows, I look at the cluster of white clouds again and notice more that are shaped like tops, though I try to imagine more than there are.

Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children look outside and up from (fictitious) lounge room windows at the south end of the room. It seems to be nighttime now. Near our house are two tall palm trees (not a real-life feature). The palm trees start to move in the wind and soon bow down near the windows and, at first, “roar” at us. Loud human voices, somewhat electronic, come from atop them. I find it curious but not unusual.

Upon going outside, I see that Isaiah Washington (from “The 100”) is inside a space (as if I am viewing the imagery with x-ray vision) in the fetal position near the bottom of one of the palm trees. He is speaking into a microphone. He loudly and cheerfully states, “This is sector seven.” It seems that another male (though I do not see him) is inside the other palm tree. The loud voices are coming from loudspeakers atop the palm trees.

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The neurological function of the preconscious simulacrum (Isaiah Washington in this case) is to guide the dream self back into wakefulness (which is known as RAS or reticular activating system mediation or modulation depending on the mode of the dream self) - and enigmatic space typically results in an avatar with authority (fictitious or not) as in this case. The fetal position implies being “reborn” into waking life. The bowing palm trees are the association with a form of vestibular system correlation, the emerging awareness (vestibular precursor) of the return to viable physicality upon waking (as the dream self does not correctly discern the physical body until RAS and the vestibular system kicks in, which often results in flying or falling, bicycle riding, using stairs, and so on). It follows the usual autosymbolism-driven formats, in the same order, that my dreams have for over fifty years, though the processes are always unique and intriguing in their rendering.

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It’s sometimes disappointing to wake up with only fragmented memories of dreams—but sometimes, trying to image what the context might have been is almost worth it.

In the beginning of the dream, I’m walking into a building. Many people are already there—it seems like some event is taking place, possibly multiple events. A couple men are entering at the same time as I am. One of them seems to be able to see me—although he doesn’t say anything to me—and the other doesn’t. I’m keeping track of the people who are able to see me since I’m really not supposed to be here, and I’m trying to keep a low profile.

The space I’m entering is basically a circular building with a separate central area, although the specifics kept changing throughout the dream. The first area I walk through, going clockwise, seems to be a restaurant. I pass people sitting at tables, including one that’s occupied by dreadlocked guys dressed in Jamaican colors who seem to be having a lot of fun.

[Note: today, the day after the dream, I was given a story to work on about reggae becoming a UNESCO intangible cultural heritage—so maybe that’s what they were so happy about.]

There was a lot that happened after that, most of which I can’t remember very clearly. But, towards the end, the space was like an auditorium, with a lecture area in the center and areas for students to sit all around it and higher up. I had put the table I had surreptitiously borrowed from Nancy Pelosi among the tables in the student area while I went and did some other stuff, but in the meantime, students had come in, including my friend Dirk. And somebody, noticing that the table is more wheelchair-friendly than the standard tables there, which have metal bars crisscrossed underneath them, has set him up with it.

Now, I had totally been intending to give Nancy Pelosi her table back. It’s what I came back here to do. But Dirk is clearly getting some good out of it. Also, Nancy Pelosi was more of a jerk than I had expected. I figure she can just buy a new table or something.

1.12.18

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

2018-03-12 There have been many dreams of late, a certain theme have played over in its variety of incarnations. Approaching the water, confronting/releasing the reptiles. This dream showed up about a week following our last gathering. It felt big, as intense symbolically as when I have been guided previously by African Dream root. I didn’t intend to dive into it, but it seems appropriate at this time.

Dream 1: (2018-11-23) A series of events transpire in a complicated building complex with a large body of water, containing dinosaurs in them, which revolve around teaching others to express their needs and confronting children in an armoured “Big Daddy” suit.

I am in a large building complex, it is very bright and modern looking. There is plenty of sunlight pouring through the windows and there is a lot of greenery spread out around in the building. It is as if the building is roughly centred around a large pool in the middle, which is in place both at the ground floor and the basement. At the ground floor this massive square pool is surrounded by spectator seats, as there are multiple shows of “scary” animals taking place. In particular at present there are two megalodons in the waters as well as a larger dinosaur that during the dream ends up killing and consuming the two sharks.

In the beginning of the dream there is a show happening in the central room where the sharks and dino monsters are held. To begin with there is a jovial touristy atmosphere surrounding the show and all the spectator seats are filled. It very much has a Jurassic World kinda feel, which is significant in its theming.

I find myself at the basement looking into the waters through a thick sheating of glass. This is where I observe the massive dinosaur consume the two sharks in the tank. It also slams into the glass, though I am unsure if it displays signs of cracking at this or not. In any case this is where I get the feeling that is common to my dreams “I know how this story plays out”. I know that the massive dinosaur is going to crack the tank, thereby releasing 4 dinosaurs where one is a massive snake, the other is a t-rex, the third is the water-dino itself, while the 4th is unknown (immediately here the theme of the 4th unknown deserves attention as it has been a running theme since the night before our first dream sharing gathering, where I encountered an inner child that I didn’t know all that well amongst 3 others that I knew very well).

As per usual as I am thinking this an alarm goes off and there is a somewhat panicky atmosphere as the building starts being evacuated.

I head out off to a side building. It is on the right hand side of the body of water. This time I am on the upper floor. I am sat on a pathway made of steel and below there is a botanic room, again beautiful and floral. I am preparing a workshop. This workshop is about me making myself available to my clients for whatever they dare express their desires around. This particularly is meant for me to teach others about expressing their desires in a public forum, but with me as an object (something that was a major theme at a spiritual workshop in 2017, which I spoke to MA about). F is there and she says that she is interested in a massage, but nothing sexual.

Then I am in Hornslet, where I grew up. M is there with E on the road from the park, leading up to the council building. For some reason this is still connected to the building complex with the sharks and dinos. I am also there talking to M about what happened between them at the spot, so both while it is happening and after. M tells me how they decided to have sex, despite some of the warnings we had discussed about romantic ideations following transpersonal journeys.

M tells me: “We had a lot of sex and to begin with it was just vaginal penetration. But then I decided to fuck her in the ass, despite the fact that she had told me that she didn’t want to. It was rough on her, but I decided to do it anyway so she would have the experience from a friend. She needed to learn”. Throughout this interaction there is an implicit meaning between us around E’s tendency of leaning too hard on support from the outside, in particular male support, which can lead to her being exploited, which is what M was trying to teach her tough-love style.

There is a brief flash of running into my Cousin on a similar steel pathway on the uppermost floor.

The last full scenario again takes place on the right hand side of the large body of water, somehow in the same place as the last scenario with “expressing desire”, yet also below and somewhat unrelated. Again very bright and a light and pleasant atmosphere.

I am in a “Big Dady” suit from Bio Shock. I have almost won, yet I am caught off-guard by a grenade that slips under a big white statue or cardboard cut-out of a statue. The grenade is thrown by a little girl and the reason it catches me off guard is that I have stepped in a puddle of water and the grenade explodes in a long arc of lightning, nearly killing me. I try to escape by rushing to the stairways, but am electrocuted.

I sit down and feign death until the little girl and her mother appears. They walk down towards me the mother approaching. She leans really close checking my pulse, talking to me, asking me if I am dead or not. She has almost decided that I am death until one of my eye-lashes brush against her cheek and she proclaims “I felt a streak of lash against my cheek” and she discovers my deception. But she is so close and in such a vulnerable position that I manage to throw her off and have her eliminated upstairs.

The small girl that was accompanying her mother knows that upon the death of her mother that she can’t hope to win our contest. I am simply armoured too heavily in my “Big Dady” suit. I walk upstairs and am now confronted by 3 children, 2 boys and the girl. They all know they have lost, but decide to choose their weapons – pillows.

As we engage in a pillow fight and the kids seem drained of hope, I get a bad feeling. I feel bad for them and as such I decide not to fight to kill them.

Dream Ends.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I woke up in my teenage bedroom at my parent's house. There is a noise of jets outside and I go check it out and see three Northrop black planes passing by. They are flying quite low. But the stranger thing is they come back and pass in front of my window a couple more times and then come even closer and start circling my building as if scanning it. Last circle they slow down and come really close to my window, like less than a meter away and I realize they are tiny, no more than a meter wide, so they are actually unmanned drones and they seem to be very interested in me. Were they looking for me or did I attract their interest for being up staring at them while everyone else sleeps?
I then remember getting my phone to film, but it's too late, they are gone. Meanwhile my mom is awaking and I wanna tell her, she will freak out, but she is dressed up already and in a hurry to go somewhere for a few days for some conference. I feel worried, she never leaves abruptly like this.
Later on my father opens the door to a lady and her son. I don't like the woman, she is full of herself, but her son is actually a cool kid. They seem to be trying to fix us together, but there's no way, he is just a kid. Am I also a kid? Because I don't feel like it. I show him my room, the room from my teen years. He likes the furniture but dislikes the arrangement and gives me some advices on decoration. I'm like "seriously?".

I go to a museum with Riverstone and Nighthawk. At some point I split from them and go to the museum shop where something strange seems to be happening. There is some lady from a religious organization and a bishop and they are talking some fundamentalist shit to people. Clearly something is about to happen, and I decide to get out from there. But when I reach the door, a fat lady is locking it up with everybody inside. People seem confused and nonreactive, but I protest violently and even start crying making up that my mom is the hospital and I need to go see her. They don't care, they are doing a protest and basically taking everybody in the museum as hostages. They take us to an auditorium and force us to watch some kind of play, that I am sure is meant to brainwash us into their cause. But after offering resistance repeatedly and they reacting violently, I decide to resist by being a nuisance and making noise with some plastics I had in my bag and loud commentaries throughout their attempted play.

Notes: sooo I haven't gotten lucid for some time now, even though I thought I was coming closer and closer to a more consistent induction technique other than dild..... well tonight I got lucid using dild.... a lucid dream I said a lucid dream I guess lol

Dream: the dream kinda started out in a climbing gym. I had been working (route setting) for the competition that was taking place in the gym. I remember a ton of my friends participating in the competition.
Some time later, I find my self in a car. I was driving towards a town or something. (In real life i often RC while in my car , since I spend a lot of time driving. I often also think about what I would do if the RC would work some time lol). I RCed, since that what I normally do in my car. I didn't think much of the result of the RC. Ohh wait, didn't that RC just work??? I tried again and felt the air going through my nose (I did the nose plug RC). i got lucid!! (In waking life, I often thought that if I got lucid while driving, I would fly through the windshield or crash the car on purpose, just for the lolz) I though about flying, but didn't want to lol. So I parked the car. I actually just pulled the handbrake in the middle of the road hehe. I opened the car door and noticed I had my seatbelt on.i tried phasing through it. But it didn't work, so I just clicked my self out lol. I kept reminding myself that this was a dream, and rced a couple of times. I walked a minute or 2, towards this big house. (In my previous lucid dreams, the gravity has been weird, however in this one it was just as in waking life. Nice). I opened the front door of the house I was walking towards, and saw a big mirror in the entrance. I looked into the mirror to get a glimpse of my own reflection. I was wearing some kind of post apocalyptic clothes. And also I was wearing a fly mask / gas mask thing, and glasses. I couldn't feel all these head accessories on my face, so I just lolled and went into the next room. There were 2 dream characters in there. A woman with blond hair, and a girl with brown skin and hair. I said hi, and they said hi back. I went upstairs. And I woke up.......
I rolled over on my left side, picked up my pen and dream journal and wanted to write down the lucid dream I just had. But I couldn't remember the dream I had had before the lucid dream. Wait.... the dream before my lucid dream, was SOOOOO vivid. I should be able to remember that dream lol... I woke up, rolled over on my left side, picked up my dream journal and wanted to write the lucid dream I just had... WAIT.... didn't I just do this??? Hahahha the FA got me good this time....

Normally I tend to catch on to the FAs... but this time I didn't lol.