non-lucid

I just arrived to Iceland airport. On the global map, I feel like I'm between Europe and Greenland.

I have a bit of time before my plane leaves, so I ask around, how to get outside. I have seen some beautiful nature pictures on some brochures and I want to see that. I see people walking with luggage, so I follow them, while keep asking about getting outside. Suddenly we are out, when it turns out that the path to another airport gate leads through outdoors. I say "see, exactly like this outside". As I look around at fresh show on the ground. Everything is white and beautiful, as we walk on a path in show, with trees lining the pathway. It's sunny and beautiful.

I come to a wooden path over a small brook forming a small lake. I look at it and I'm overcome with joy. So incredibly happy, that I see beautiful nature just like in the brochure. Almost as happy as when I realize in a dream that I'm dreaming or flying.

Somewhere there I also find a gift shop.

Note: This one was quite violent. This is out of the norm for me, but seeing as there is some unusually intense drama playing out in my life right now (a major disagreement with my partner), I guess this is sort of a reflection or a catharsis. Still, it was unsettling.

Dream: In the far backcountry with a few other people. At least three others. I don't know who these people are. Myself and one other are antagonists in this plot, although my participation in the events that unfold is limited and hesitant.
We are in what might be part of a state or national park. There is a large clearing of about 6-8 acres. Most of it is flat, but on one end, it slopes up and rises about 20 feet, has a sharper incline that rises another 3 feet, and then it levels again, and the upper 1/2 acre is level and it contains the road access. Myself and the others drive into this lot and park in a light, military-grade 4x4. We bring the others out of the truck and push them towards and down the hill. They are fearful. The other antagonist is immersed in haranguing and intimidating them. At some point during this escalation I begin to distance myself and hide behind the steeper incline at the top of the hill. I watched as he lobbed explosive spray cans and they landed on the victims, who burned and died.

This morning (IWL) my partner was getting ready for work and I really wanted to speak to him or hug him or something, but instead I had fallen asleep and had several consecutive false awakenings that involved me laying in bed and chit-chatting with him in a neutral way.

Fragment: a campus. Rainstorm. Seeing a friend through a window. Trying to get some documents printed. In the library, somebody is trying to come on to me and they don't listen or stop despite my dissent.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At some place with amazing beaches. Maybe on holidays. Choosing some pillows to sit meditating.

Pass by the restaurant of the place I'm staying, they are renovating decorations. It's a retro place, with an art deco touch and showered in a golden light. I talk with a guy changing lamps. Then I see a shop at the end of the street that is closed for good and I think about using it for a business of my own.

Some film festival happening in the resort and they will play Okja which they are presenting as a Japanese movie and I correct them by saying it is Korean.

At a football stadium in Dubai, a Portuguese team is playing with a local one.
A girl on my side calls a friend on skype and when he answers he is not wearing pants. She quickly hides the image as it would be considered indecent by other spectators around.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

2018-12-11 Biblical surgery and alien eviction leads through death to a search for stronger communication with my stomach, realised through talking to a white horse/camel.

This entry will be written in Danish as I intend to use it in therapy.

Drømmen starter med at jeg ser et opslag på Facebook. Dette er et som Casper Møller har delt og er et billede og en tekst af 1:1 revelations (kan ikke huske navnet) med en mand der ligger på en mellemting mellem en sarkofag og et operationsbord. Det har en meget stærkt tema om Lucifer, hans fald og periodiske genopstandelse før Jesus vender tilbage. Billedet er også en video og jeg klikker på den og en stemme går i gang med at læse teksten op.

Mens teksten læses op suges jeg ind I scenariet. Jeg bliver til en dæmonisk skikkelse, der ligner en klassisk grå alien fra diverse film. Det er mig der opererer på manden der ligger på bordet. Der er en forholdsvis ondskabsfuld stemning, som dog skifter I løbet af forløbet. På en eller anden måde stopper den her alien/jeg op og får ændret situationen og gennemfører ikke operationen. Faktisk kommer en anden alien ind I billedet og ser ud til at glæde sig til at deltage, men den første begynder at slå sig selv I stykker og på grund af et eller andet han har lavet på operationsbordet betyder det at den nye tilkommer også begynder at gå I stykker.

Dette får dem begge til at flygte. De flygter ud af lange og smukke gange, der er rødlige og har et royalt udseende, og mens de flygter ses der billeder af maget muskuløse mænd og kentauere der bliver vækket – på en eller anden måde med fornyet gejst på grund af rumvæsnernes flugt – og jager rumvæsnerne ud.

Scenariet skifter hurtigt til at se paladset udenfor. Det virker til at finde sted på en anden planet, men det er lyst og det ser meget æstetisk og majestætisk ud. Ud fra det sted hvor den lange gang ville være kommer nu et gylden sfærisk fartøj, som er rumvæsnernes. Det beskyder byen under det med nogle gyldne laser stråler, men besvares så rigeligt af byens blå laser stråler og forsvinder til sidst.

Der skippes.

Jeg ligger udenfor ved en svømmepøl, jeg ved blot at jeg ligger og der er en fornemmelse af at ting “stopper”. Dette finder sted et par gange. Vejret er grålig og det virker til at det trækker op til regn, selvom det har en sydlandsk feriestemning over sig. Der sidder fire mennesker foran mig, hvor en af dem er min mor. Muligvis min kusine, min far og en fjerde ubekendt. Min mor fortæller.

“Nåh, han er i gang med hans døds-process” og insinuerer at det bare skal have lov til at fortsætte.

Jeg er meget forvirret hver gang jeg vågner og det er svært helt at beskrive hvad der sker. Min bevidsthed fortætter ligesom og jeg føler mig stadig som mig selv, men det er som om der er noget der stopper og som om at det hele stivner til og jeg falder ind I mig selv.

Da det er ved at være overstået vender min mor sig imod mig og krammer mig, på en kvælende og klam måde, som gør at jeg bliver nødt til at skubbe hende væk. Hun spørger mig: “Du gennemgik din døds-process, det var meget spændende, hvor mange gange døde du?” hvortil jeg svarer “Det ved jeg ikke helt, måske 3-5”.

Da jeg svarer dette er vi nu indenfor I et hotel, med et meget ru gulv med små sten der har en gummiagtig karakter at gå på. Det hele er meget blåligt og jeg siger. “Jeg ved ikke helt hvor jeg er, det er enormt forvirrende det hele, det eneste jeg kan se er at jeg er I et blåt hotel, jeg aner ikke hvorfor eller hvor lang tid vi har været her.” Jeg kan ikke huske om min mor rent faktisk spørger mig om jeg kan huske mit værelsesnummer, men jeg siger I hvert fald “jeg bor på værelse 422”, hvortil min søster og mor griner en smule og en af dem siger: “Nej du bor på værelse 527”.

Jeg føler mig ikke stødt over deres latter, men finder en trappe jeg kan gå op af der kan tage mig til mit værelse. Den første trappe går ikke højt nok op, mens den anden faktisk går højt nok op og også indikerer at mit værelse ligger lige rundt om hjørnet. Problemet er blot at der er en glasplade der fungerer som et bord lige overfor trappen I hjørnet der blokkerer, eller I det mindste gør det enormt besværligt og måske endda lidt farligt, min vej. Endvidere når jeg kigger hen til venstre I retningen af mit værelse kan jeg se at vejen er spæret af en glasdør og bagved dem står der nogle lamper der indikerer at den vej er brugt som et hyggehjørne og vil gøre det hele endnu mere besværligt. Så jeg vælger i stedet at gå ned igen.

Jeg går udenfor og har min madras med som jeg normalt sover på. Den skal børstes af og det går op for mig at der er nogle eller en person(er) der ofte går over den og efterlader en masse sand på den, så den skal rystes. Jeg kan også mærke en smule irritation omkring det, men ved ikke helt hvem det er.

Herefter skifter scenen til at jeg nu ligger på min madras på mit værelse I hovedgård, som det ser ud. Kaiseren – eller I hvert fald en mørk skikkelse med hans energi – kommer ind og giver mig en dåse danskvand. Jeg åbner den og begynder ivrigt at drikke da jeg er super tørstig. Kaiseren siger “Pas på med at drikke for meget, det kan være giftigt”. Jeg drikker – lidt trodsigt – halvdelen af dåsen hurtigt, og sætter den fra mig og siger “Det gør ikke noget det gør ikke noget for mig det her” og kan mærke at jeg stadig er ekstremt tørstig og tør om munden.

Jeg hopper ud af sengen og går ud af en dør og befinder mig nu I en baggård. Der er en have-lignende stemning, det er lidt mørkt og der står en palme I midten af græsset. En ældre kvinde med kort krøllet gråt hår og store runde briller – mens jeg skriver dette kommer en tredje association ind – som minder om min Moster og Kirsten, min terapeut, men også en klient jeg har – Lotte.

Hun siger “Dennis du bliver nødt til at forbinde dig med din mave, den kan nok være lidt svær at komme I kontakt med fordi du putter så meget lort I den.” Jeg svarer: “Jamen det lyder mega fedt, jeg vil vildt gerne I mere kontakt med min mave” og tænker straks på de nylige spændinger, smerter og ukendte emotionelle påvirkninger jeg har oplevet.

Jeg begynder at blive lucid her da jeg begynder at kalde “Mave! Mave!” hvor den kvindelige figur stopper op og siger: “Du skal følge vinden, hvis du vil finde hvad du søger”. Hun får implicit fortalt at jeg blot skal finde den retning hvor der er direkte modvind hvis jeg vil etablere kontakt til min mave igen.

Jeg er vildt begejstret for dette trick og kan mærke at jeg kan bruge det I fremtidige drømme også. Jeg drejer mig rundt – imod uret – og finder ud af at der hvor vinden blæser mig lige I fjæset er der en lille sti imellem to bygninger der leder ud til vejen. Jeg begynder at gå derhen og ser en strandpromenade, som minder om den jeg har været på så mange gange I Thailand, og mens jeg går råber jeg “Mave!” gentagen.

Jeg ser en Raptor gå forbi udenfor og bliver en smule skeptisk. Jeg snupper en kort pause og fortsætter så. Nu kommer jeg ud og kan se ned på vejen – jer er pludselig I et hotelværelse – og der går en masse spændende mennesker, dyr og andre objekter jeg kunne interagere med dernede.

Jeg råber igen “Mave!” og ser til venstre, hvor der går en T-Rex, som jeg jo har historie med, og træder et skridt tilbage. Jeg står nu I et relativt lille og mørkt hotelværelse, foran vinduet der er firkantet og med klart sol lys skinnende igennem. Jeg beslutter mig for at hvis det er T-Rexen jeg skal snakke med for at komme I kontakt med min mave, så må det være sådan det er u-anset hvor bange jeg måtte være for det.

Så jeg træder ud på taget og ser pludselig at der er længere ned end jeg havde regnet med. Jeg bliver lidt bange for bare at hoppe ud I det, så sætter mig ned I lotus stilling indtil jeg begynder at svæve ned. Jeg kan mærke på vej derned at der er lidt meget fart på, det er nok til at hjertet lige slår et ekstra slag uden jeg er bange for at slå mig. Dog fornemmer jeg at jeg har mistet overblikket så meget at den vej jeg gerne ville ned på med de mange dyr og mennesker ikke vil være der, fordi jeg har mistet mit fokus. Jeg tænker dog også at det ikke vil gøre noget.

Da jeg endelig lander ser jeg at den vej jeg var på er væk. Den jeg står på er mindre befærdet og det er pludselig blevet nat, men det er faktisk stadig den samme strandpromenade. Jeg tænker at de nok skal gå og råber igen “Mave!” og spinner mellem 270 og 360 grader rundt om mig selv imod urets retning.

Her ser jeg en stor hvid hingst komme løbende og mens jeg råber “Mave!” begynder den at ride hen imod mig. Jeg spørger den om den er min mave og I det jeg gør det bliver den til en hvid kamel, med tre pukler, hvor den forreste af de 3 er delt I 2, selvom det ser sundt og raskt ud, som om den egentlig blot bærer en genetisk mutation der giver den denne tredje to-delte pukkel.

Den svarer at den er min mave og jeg knæler for den, hvilket den svarer med at lægge dens venstre hov på mit tredje øje. Derefter skifter den til at blive en venlig og varm 44-årig mand, med kort gråt hår. Jeg spørger “Hvad skal jeg gøre for at komme I bedre kontakt med dig” og han svarer “Din mormor kom til at trykke en lille knogle I stykker hernede (inde I højre hofteskål, hvor psoas løber) da du var 3 år gammel, det var ikke med vilje, men det kan man også se på billeder.” Der er en implicit besked der handler om at denne skade/traume ikke har været kendt og at noget kropsterapi kan have forværret det, men også at der ligger noget derfra der stadig rumsterer. Jeg svarer “Ah, jamen jeg har jo også fået scannet indersiden af mine hofter, så der vil man kunne se det?” han svarer “Jaaa, jooo.” med en tudelig intonering om at det ikke er helt rigtigt, men at det heller ikke er helt ved siden af.

Drømmen Ender og jeg vågner med en meget rolig, afslappet og rar fornemmelse I kroppen. Det var tidligt, men jeg stod op og fik mediteret med min mave som fokus, fik lavet yoga, danset og TRE og fik mig noget morgenmad og følte mig godt tilpas.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

12-11

Dream: Old-school hand drawn room (reminded me of Angel's Egg for some reason) which I was placed in, covered in spiderwebs, with a large door and a square section cut out of the floor which would rotate and change, but for now looked like the rest of the room. This part of it was like the first dungeon in Minish Cap. I go through the door and there's a beautiful garden terrace where a woman in her early thirties, dressed in a green dress and covered in plant outfitting, wants to be my wife. I take her hand and walk her around the terrace, then return through the door to the spider room and discuss the prospect of marrying the spider queen. I wake up before deciding.

Dream: At a large house with daylight pouring in, I've spent the summer there and am showing someone how to use a lathe to make a particular shape in a piece of wood. Transition and a young Jodie Foster (younger than Silence of the Lambs) is now there in my stead. The owner, who is older and a bit menacing, is walking her around. The owner suddenly changes into James McAvoy from the movie Split. He's subtly (or not so subtly) suggesting that he can get away with anything here and Jodie (who is with the FBI?) says that the FBI can stop "everyone". Suddenly this is all a film and Stanley Kubrik is directing, and he's not happy with the shot. I'm now possessing Jodie, and we're walking back through the house (toward the lathe area). A few doors open on their own, and one chair pulls back from a table and rotates to face us. It's sufficiently scary. In a small fragment/FA later, I have missed calls from Kubrik.

Lucid #72: I do WBTB and try a Choline 350mg capsule. After a bit of MILDing, I decide to SSILD and go to
bed as I usually would. I MILD one last time with "I will recognize the dream state. In my next dream, I will
look at my hands and realize I'm dreaming". I fall asleep and wake briefly and have a few cycles of this, where I catch myself right on the edge. Finally I'm aware enough to ride that and I feel the tunnel vision/pull of the WILD! I'm lying on my side and my whole body is pretty numb, and for some reason I'm worried about moving my waking body since the dream doesn't feel like it's "materialized" enough. So instead of moving my dream body, I sort of will myself backwards and start spinning, and I'm in! I fall/float/fly towards the backboard and can finally start moving my arms, although they're stiff. It's incredibly dark in the room so I have a hard time stabilizing, especially since my tactile and auditory senses are also not very well engaged. I do a finger-palm RC but my coordination is off and it takes a few tries to get my hands in the right position; I finally do it and it works but only helps a little. I decide that I have to get out of the room if I'm going to stabilize and keep this going (since I have spotty luck with lights) so I head to the curtains and try to phase through them, thinking of the incubated dream scene I expect to be on the other side. I think of how it will smell, sound, and look. I feel like I'm going to make it, but somehow I get wrapped up in the curtains and am unable to phase through them (why didn't I just push them aside? ;_ and I wake up. I try to DEILD but don't have much luck latching on to the images; it feels like in all of my DEILD attempts lately, the images are weaker and are sort of spinning away from me. I imagine the feeling/texture of surfaces I see, and imagine my dream arm reaching out and touching them, but it just doesn't work like it has in the past. In any case, the exit on this WILD was probably my most exhilarating yet, even though I didn't get to do much with the lucid.

Dream: I'm with F and my dog (D) at a huge house (our current lodging -- apartment, hotel, vacation home, idk). It's dark and we're walking through it, checking out the rooms and talking. D is by the door so I crouch down and look out the window panes on the door. The stars are beautiful, and then I notice that someone is on our porch in one of our lounge chairs, an older man in a white robe. He's putting down a beer when I notice more people in the neighbor's yard. Then, to the left of me in the kitchen/dining room picture window, I notice three pickup trucks parked in a driveway that I didn't know existed, taking up way too many spots! Three guys are walking into our house carrying baskets and cases full of beer.

Fragment: There's a middle-aged woman in a grey robe or dress who's posing on the carpet as if for a photo shoot, saying suggestive things.

Lost a dream here.

Fragment: F is mad at me for some reason? Long and drawn out dream but it's lost now.

One thing I noticed tonight -- almost everytime I woke, I did an immediate (mental) RC, which is progress! Also my nonlucids were incredibly vivid and interesting, which is another goal I have.

3x1 + 2x.5 + 10(LD) + 5(WILD) + 2 (WBTB) + 2 (RC) = +23 => 38.5

Fragment: Wine Ocean, name brand for powdered wine.
Fragment: an isolated building on a scenic hillside. Maybe in the style of Romanesque revival. Included a large staircase up to the entrance which is covered with a two-story-tall veranda and classical columns. I watched as a man in an electric wheelchair pressed a button and the staircase transformed into a somewhat steep slope, and his wheelchair angled itself appropriately and climbed it no problem.
Fragment: watching Panda Bear (my favorite musician) perform a new set. Highly percussive, in fact he had hired quite a few people to play a percussive arrangement. He played guitar, which is unusual for him. He wore prosthetic makeup and green paint on his face, making him look something like an alien or a monster.
Fragment: riding in a car as a passenger through a scenic countryside. Checking email.
Fragment: May have taken place in the same fictional school as previous dreams. Gym class. Tennis balls. Two adjacent gymnasiums. Class transformed into a demo about making a sliding paper cutter. I was irritated because I wanted to play sports.
Fragment: Fictional hometown. Hiking.

Dream: In the style of a video game. Maybe a bit like Assassin's Creed in that my "character" is highly mobile on foot. A huge bear is chasing me and no weapons are really helping ward off or kill him. I pass through a series of rooms in quick succession. I come out in the side of a cliff and a campus sits below about 50 feet. I make my way, airborne, towards the campus and find a large spherical arcane weapon with an oculus. It is big enough for me to sit inside. It fires an electric beam wherever you point the oculus. I see the bear running a covered walkway lined with columns leading from the side of the cliff. This weapon is effective to kill the bear. It is ineffective on any humans.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I see movement on my kitchen terrace through the glass door. One female dog decided to make a home there with her three pups and they are gorgeous, look like Akitas, just like my Hachi.

I encounter a lost love from school at some big event. He is Nighthawk, but at the same time he isn't. I don't want to be pushy, but I feel like I don't want to get away from him ever again. Luckily he seems to feel the same, because he finds all sorts of excuses to sit by my side when everybody heads to the tables to eat some meal. He even makes someone get a stool and sit on it, so we can sit side by side. And because there is no space, we have to get really really cozy.
We end up sleeping together. I just remember waking up naked in a bed by his side and him saying I should go check a rash I have on my butt and I feel embarassed.
Well, I didn't know but he had become someone rich and powerful and the next day my mom calls me because she read in one of those gossip magazines about celebrities, that he had been spotted on the event very intimate with me and he was asked about it and he said I was someone he would like to keep by his side for the rest of his life.
My mom was already asking if he had asked me to marry him and if I was rich now. I was overwhelmed by all that and I told her certainly I wasn't rich or I'd have noticed. But feeling confused about what exactly had happened between us.[/COLOR]

12-9

Two dreams I can't even read now.

Dream #1: In 9 living room, vivid explicit scene with F (very emotional).

Another unreadable; maybe I need to go back to writing on my phone.

Dream #2: In grandparent's house, it's a very different version of the house, but for some reason I think it's accurate. It's much bigger and with many more small alcoves and nooks and crannies. There is a specific microwave & toaster oven that convinces me that it's their house. I felt like as I was walking through it I was exercising non/semi-lucid dream control, which is strange; I definitely wasn't lucid, but I was able to change things at will. This is a trend I've been noticing quite a lot. It also reminded me of a house I'd been to in a dream before (specifically a dream set there where I climbed a gigantic tree in the backyard). Eventually I walk out onto the carport and then turn around, and my late grandma is there. She's bald, so I fashion her a wig shaped like her old haircut. I think we spoke and maybe walked somewhere together. It was comforting to see her.

Another unreadable.

Fragment #1: Outside of a hotel or convention center with highschool friend S. We're taking turns drawing guns. I draw some fusion of an M60 and an AR. I think it became real and I started shooting it around for fun. Then we went inside and it reminded me of my fellowship hall from my childhood church.

Dream #3: There was a long dream before what I start to remember, but I'm in a squarish or octoganal room with a coworker A and a couple of other "attendees"; it felt like we were in either a youth retreat or a reality show like Big Brother -- we were all in a house together for some reason. He was showing me how to do a certain lift (a special kind of squat) and he was in some weird rack that went around all four sides. He unstrapped some supports and rotated 90 degrees as if that was important. There were two or three other people in the room, one looked like a hipsterish girl (yellow shirt, black pants, grey hair? maybe). Quote in my DJ: "Stood in on the [spare] / Can't you see?".

Dream #4: I work at a local taco restaurant serving snowballs. It's nighttime and the restaurant/food truck is open to the air. Someone asks for a stuffed snowcone and I refuse indignantly, serving them a "regular" instead (it's all ice cream). I look out the back window and see some signs that remind me of New Orleans, on which the text doesn't change. I think this is odd, because after all the text should change since I'm in a dream. Somehow I did not get lucid from this thought. Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week.

4x1 + 1x.5 = +4.5 => 13.5

12-10

Sleep schedule is still not back to normal.

Dream #1: Long, vivid nonlucid taking place in a stronghold(?). First scene: with F in the middle of the night on a long, high lookout bridge kind of area. I'm shining a flashlight (or lantern?) over the metal railing and it's brighter in certain parts of the metal; I tell her that this is because there's a higher spirit presence/concentration in the brighter areas. The flashlight illuminates the bars but nothing beyond them, until I think that thought, and pass it over a terrifying withered old woman/hagraven fusion! I try to take the flashlight away but just the image of her is pulling F into some kind of black hole? When F is pulled in I point the flashlight back in full force so that I can go after her; I'm sucked in too, but I think a bit too late.

I'm transported instead into a large open body of water with my comrades at the fortress. There is a raised shore area scattered with leaf litter, but the floor of the body of water is made up of vivid multicolored mosaic sections of mud/stone. Looking back their shapes are sort of organic, and the entire picture together kind of looks like a political map (color scheme, borders) however that didn't occur to me at the time. I get the feeling that the entire area is covered by a very tall natural structure (cave or high canopy), as there's a bright opening far ahead where sunlight peeks through. Scattered throughout the pool, embedded in the multicolored segments, are red skulls and ribcages. Some of the skulls are only peeking out enough to look like masks.

Beside me, one of my older female comrades (a leader?) is consoling me after I explain the situation. We begin formulating a plan.

Dream #2: FA which was very accurate, but I still had my mints on the nightstand while in WL I had accidentally knocked them off last night.

2x1 = +2 => 15.5

Morning of December 10, 2018. Monday.

Dream #: 18,984-05. Reading time (optimized): 1 min. Readability score: 75.



I enter another of several vivid dreams of this date. In this event, I maintain most of my conscious self identity in association with my marriage and family. The setting is unknown. My mother is present. My dream self does not recall that she had died in October of 2002 or that she had never been to Australia or met Zsuzsanna or our children in real life.

She had bought two cakes in pans with ice cream covering them. I eat some of the darker cake. Zsuzsanna and our three youngest children are present.

I then go on to eat some of the other “cake” and see that it is now mostly white ice cream that seems to be partially melting. I also notice steam rising from it, and become puzzled. I scoop up and eat a lot of it. Something in the back of my mind makes me question this situation.

I pick up an interesting object from near a corner of the cake pan. It is a beautiful rooster salt shaker in a crowing stance. There was loose salt around it. (I am wondering if this is another dream with gamma-aminobutyric acid autosymbolism or if it represents sweating in the heat.)

I wake as I gaze at the rooster salt shaker and find it curious that a place that sells food would give one out for each purchase.

---

Of course, a rooster is autosymbolism for the preconscious function and transition of waking up from sleep. How obvious can it get?

---

Morning of December 10, 2018. Monday.

Dream #: 18,984-07. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



Summary for casual readers only:

While on the Cubitis carport, I see two toy parachutists hanging from the northerly eaves, a blue one and a white one. I go around and take the white one down and throw it about when back on the carport. An unknown woman looks on from where the carport meets the driveway.

Readers with no interest in legitimate causes and effects of dreams need not read past this point.

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Preconscious precursor: My dream self attains subliminal awareness of being in REM sleep, though no current conscious self identity has yet emerged. A common liminal space nexus, the Cubitis carport (irrelevant to real life since 1978), is the setting. It represents being within the virtual space between my imaginary dream self and my conscious self identity. In subliminal, liminal, and concurrent dream self modes, I have deliberately used porches and carports since early childhood for this level of dream state and wakefulness processing.

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I am on the Cubitis house’s carport in late morning. The sky is blue, and I mostly focus on the northerly direction. Someone else is present who is a female of perhaps thirty, but I do not know her identity.

To the north, I see objects in the sky. (One might be an airplane, but this remains unknown when I focus on the toys in the next scene.) I eventually see a toy parachutist hanging from the eaves. I had first thought that it was in the air in the distance, beyond Harold’s house on the other side of the orange grove. I walk around outside of the carport. At this point, I see two toy parachutists hanging by strings from their miniature parachutes, one slightly higher than the other. One is blue and the other white. I somehow take down the white toy (which would not have been possible in reality as it would have been too high up).

I play with the toy parachutist on the carport for several minutes, noticing that it works very well, the parachute expanding and the soldier slowly floating down as I catch it each time. Its texture is simultaneously rubbery and silky. I find its perfection wondrous. Eventually, I begin to recall who I am. I remember my youngest son, though there is no other recall (such as where I live as I erroneously maintain the illusion of Cubitis until I wake). I consider that I will give my youngest son the toys. I think that someone, perhaps two unknown young boys, had lost them and probably will not return.

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Crucial notes: A common factor of the waking process and consciousness achievement is the preconscious simulacrum. Here, it is probably my wife Zsuzsanna, though remains dormant (unrecognized) until I wake. It does not domineer, as I am actively working with vestibular system correlation in subliminal anticipation of the falling start that terminates many dreams, though of which does not occur here as I modulate the process into a soft awakening, though with a projected transition rather than inherited.

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non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

At my parent's home, when my dad still lived there, staying in my old bedroom with Riverstone. Some awkward moments in which my dad enters the room by storm, just because. He then leaves the house and finally we get some peace. I wake up in the morning and there are some ten Arab dudes who all look alike, in the hallway and coming out of the living room.
My mom says there was a wildfire in the hills behind the building and since we didn't hear her calling for help during the night, she has picked up some dudes from the street who offered to help evacuate the family and our animals. Yeah, but why are they all clones?
Then I go to the window and find strange how there was a fire, since we are in the winter, and it's cold and foggy outside. But not even 5 mins later, it dries up and warms up and I see a gigantic cloud of smoke arising from behind the hill and understand the fire restarted. Then I see uprooted trees levitating towards the sky and I am also being pulled and see it from above. Something or someone is collecting individuals of each species to repopulate a new Earth. I feel sad and hopeful. We are doomed but at least someone is trying to give this beautiful diversity of life a chance somewhere else.

I was in the coolest high school ever. The school had a basement that was exclusively for the students to hang out and all of them, with a few exceptions, looked like a rock star, a movie star or a model. I think there were only a couple of geeky nerds who looked pretty average.
One day a new student comes in, he is a bit older and a bit cranky and anti-social. He looks like a young David Bowie, but unfriendly. One night he decides to stay in school through the night and hides in said basement. What he doesn't know is that the place is monitored by cameras that stream everything online in a group we are all part of.
He puts on some punk music, he smokes a joint and then he undresses and gets in his underwear. He dances like crazy, not knowing we are all watching. We find it funny, but we don not intend to shame him. So we send the group of coolest kids in school, who are non-other than the Beatles. They go downstairs to surprise him and we all watch it as it happens. It's hilarious when he gets caught. Then we all join and we explain he had been on camera all the time. We actually came to prevent him doing something that could actually embarrass him beyond repair. But he doesn't understand and says he will sue us for filming him.

Later on I see a group of kids building an indoor pool just across a classroom where I have a lots of classes. Zilla is with me and we comment about it. There is another pool outside, but that one is controlled by a group of older kids and although one of them is my childhood friend Carla, she behaves like she doesn't know me and doesn't help us getting access to the pool.
But now we will be able to get out of the classroom and jump right in the pool. We talk to the guys building it. They are just so nice and this school is so unreal.

Not much of a recall lately. Got me a new bottle of Galantamine, excited to make time and WILD soon.

This was maybe 4 days ago...

Apocalyptic world, people sick from some epidemic. I remember getting out to the street and telling others, we should have picked up some baseball bats and other weapons in the walmart we just walked through.

I somehow get to a one story house. I'm their "help". Nobody is there, only me and ozzy. I'm fetching some soda for him from the fridge, then he wants to have sex with me. Remind me of The Handmaids Tale I watched recently.

Was intense, kinda liked the feel of the dream.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

On my teenage bedroom, going to sleep late, keeping a light on.

With some friends at a party hosted by Björk.
I hurt a finger and burst a blood vessel internally, so I cut open a little bit of the flesh to squeeze some blood out, but instead come out little orange spiders.
I empty my entire finger until it becomes transparent and naturally it refills with fluids and muscle. It starts working wonderfully and I realize I need do do the same procedure with all my fingers which are painful and stiff, but I can't find the courage to see more spiders coming out of me, I am freaking out at the thought.
Then thorny vines start bursting out through my skin and I also try to remove them one by one and it is painful.
Meanwhile I am feeling a bit hallucinated with all that is happening to me and I decided that maybe that was it: I was indeed hallucinating! and I enter a strange mental crazy state, dancing like mad and Björk asks me if I'm alright. My friend Nuno says I need to continue extracting the spiders to heal and I say "What, so it was real? You did see it?" And they confirm with a nod.

Friend's mansion, looking for one of the many toilets, end up in the laundry room, which is bigger than my living room and dinning room together and has a fireplace.

My own house is attached to a pharmacy which is all made of glass walls. One night I hear noise at the pharmacy door and I go take a look. There is a gang of guys planning to rob it. They see me peaking though a door, because there is an all night light on illuminating the whole place. I hear them commenting that I'll be the final prize. I get scared, because I know they can get inside the pharmacy easily by breaking the glass. So I go back to the house, lock the door behind me and go check all other doors in my house. Then freak out that they are all unlocked and I can't find the key.

There is a festival promoting a new food, made from some sea creature or algae, that people never ate before. It is processed into some green waffle toasts and also a spread. I try the spread, tastes weird like raw pureed seaweed. They are asking name suggestions for the products. There are some names on the table already and I see one that looks like Okeje.

Created Saturday 08 December 2018

Got non-lucid things today.

Scrap Group 1
Playing on the keyboard. I play a difficult song, and actually do quite well at it.

Dream 1 - Flaming Eye and Ghost Schmuck

The visuals were a bit blurred. I was infiltrating an hidden underground bunker. A dark-skinned woman in a catsuit was partnered up with me, if not my acting superior. Monsters lurked around the place. We took special precaution to avoid them.

Later, we were trapped in a turbine hall. Cue a boss battle with a giant, 15ft. diameter burning eye. Whenever it attacked, it took the form of a dinosaur's head, which then belched flames. Afterwards, it would retreat to another part of the arena. The boss also had a cloaked ghost as backup, of which would transform into various weapons. The ghost could be stunned temporarily, but was otherwise invulnerable. And, like many video game bosses, the giant eye was vulnerable only when it was on the offensive. My partner and I took quite some time to figure this all out. Unfortunately, the woman was killed shortly after. Still, she somehow talked from beyond the grave, demanding that I use some rare, limited use resurrection trinket. Using video game logic, I chose to just "reset" this fight instead.

Things changed around a bit. Now, a phone's ringing served as a tell to the eyeball's attack. Furthermore, the ghost now took the
shape of a pale, fast-talking schmuck with black hair, and dressed in a like-colored suit. This guy was a real smartass, tossing out jeers and phone-themed wisecracks in rapid succession, not helped that he somehow had personal info on my partner and I. He started with a "hotline" joke, then went on to (pretend to?) call specific relatives or neighbors or such. Really made it easy for me to go after him, despite the eye being the highest priority target. Still, my partner, being far more agile than I, seemed to have a decent handle taking the main boss out alone.

That cat woke me up eventually.

Location: large luxury house
POV: some first-person, some third-person
Notes: Sexual content. Movie style cutscenes, organic flow. Dream "self" is not obviously me. Order of scenes is not chronological. I ate a lot of rice krispies treats before I went to sleep.

Events: A dysfunctional family is preparing to sell the house. A real estate agent frequently visits. The agent and the matron have a
vindictive/antagonistic relationship. [In third person:] The agent and matron have a reigned-in/relatively calm but emotionally charged verbal dispute. Their attitudes suggest that in the manner of stereotypical feuding upper class housewives they are constantly working to undermine each other. The real-estate agents tells the matron of the household that the matron's sour attitude is pushing away clients.

[In first person:] Upstairs, two young men ("myself" and another) share an intimate moment. The one who lives at the house is laying on a cot or couch, with a visitor ("myself") resting at his side, sitting on the floor. Another conscious presence is transmitting information about the nature of meditation. This portion of the dream has a spiritually compelling feeling that is difficult to describe. I actually remembered some of the direct information that was given by this ethereal voice upon waking up, but it has unfortunately left me now.

The remainder of the dream was sexual in nature, involving the first two men mentioned and an additional pair. They are attempting to stealthily hook up in the upstairs area.