non-lucid

Morning of December 4, 2018. Tuesday.

Dream #: 18,978-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec. Readability score: 62.



At the beginning of my non-lucid dream, I am with an unfamiliar woman (of perhaps twenty) in a fictitious room of the Barolin Street house that is implied to be between the main bedroom and the lounge room. There is no furniture in the room. Despite my lack of viable dream state awareness, I am subliminally aware that I am dreaming.

My dream self believes that we are awake but that I am ritually inducing the dream state. We are lying on the wooden floor. I am aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby, yet I also do not see the unfamiliar woman as an imposter or trespasser. (This is because she is supposed to be the usual Naiad and melatonin mediator, modeled after a young Zsuzsanna, but because I am not viably lucid, the situation is distorted and integrated with other dreaming processes.) I am teaching her how to enter the dream state by creating the illusion of water as autosymbolic of natural melatonin and as defining illusory physicality within sleep. I cause the floor to transform into shallow water (the typical beginning of dream state entry since early childhood), and we float around for a short time even though it only seems about four inches deep. There is an awareness that I am entering the dream state (even though I am already dreaming). I consider that if the water becomes very deep as we go farther into the dream state, sharks might eventually appear below us, but there is no continuity of perceived threat.

From here, I enter a more vivid dream segment. There are no thoughts about the unfamiliar woman, who has vanished, or of the previous exercise. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children are present. There is no longer any association with dream entry or being in the dream state. There is a storm approaching from the south. I look out from the lounge room and see odd clouds, one of them shaped like a top. Despite the several big fluffy clouds being white, they supposedly are storm clouds. I try to create a tornado from the one that looks like a top. Soon, there is a loud crash, and something, perhaps a large tree branch (though I do not see it) comes through the roof above the hallway, leaving an irregular hole. Rain comes in. Zsuzsanna and I look at the damage. I deliberately stand under the rain coming through the ceiling. I feel cool and refreshed, and my dream becomes much more vivid. (I have used water to vivify and sustain my dreams since early childhood.)

In the next scene, I walk around observing water flowing down the walls from the edges of the ceiling. There is a plastic storage box on a high shelf that I feel concern about getting wet, as it may contain textbooks or my dream journals. However, it does not seem that the water is anywhere but on the walls. Through the windows, I look at the cluster of white clouds again and notice more that are shaped like tops, though I try to imagine more than there are.

Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children look outside and up from (fictitious) lounge room windows at the south end of the room. It seems to be nighttime now. Near our house are two tall palm trees (not a real-life feature). The palm trees start to move in the wind and soon bow down near the windows and, at first, “roar” at us. Loud human voices, somewhat electronic, come from atop them. I find it curious but not unusual.

Upon going outside, I see that Isaiah Washington (from “The 100”) is inside a space (as if I am viewing the imagery with x-ray vision) in the fetal position near the bottom of one of the palm trees. He is speaking into a microphone. He loudly and cheerfully states, “This is sector seven.” It seems that another male (though I do not see him) is inside the other palm tree. The loud voices are coming from loudspeakers atop the palm trees.

---

The neurological function of the preconscious simulacrum (Isaiah Washington in this case) is to guide the dream self back into wakefulness (which is known as RAS or reticular activating system mediation or modulation depending on the mode of the dream self) - and enigmatic space typically results in an avatar with authority (fictitious or not) as in this case. The fetal position implies being “reborn” into waking life. The bowing palm trees are the association with a form of vestibular system correlation, the emerging awareness (vestibular precursor) of the return to viable physicality upon waking (as the dream self does not correctly discern the physical body until RAS and the vestibular system kicks in, which often results in flying or falling, bicycle riding, using stairs, and so on). It follows the usual autosymbolism-driven formats, in the same order, that my dreams have for over fifty years, though the processes are always unique and intriguing in their rendering.

---

It’s sometimes disappointing to wake up with only fragmented memories of dreams—but sometimes, trying to image what the context might have been is almost worth it.

In the beginning of the dream, I’m walking into a building. Many people are already there—it seems like some event is taking place, possibly multiple events. A couple men are entering at the same time as I am. One of them seems to be able to see me—although he doesn’t say anything to me—and the other doesn’t. I’m keeping track of the people who are able to see me since I’m really not supposed to be here, and I’m trying to keep a low profile.

The space I’m entering is basically a circular building with a separate central area, although the specifics kept changing throughout the dream. The first area I walk through, going clockwise, seems to be a restaurant. I pass people sitting at tables, including one that’s occupied by dreadlocked guys dressed in Jamaican colors who seem to be having a lot of fun.

[Note: today, the day after the dream, I was given a story to work on about reggae becoming a UNESCO intangible cultural heritage—so maybe that’s what they were so happy about.]

There was a lot that happened after that, most of which I can’t remember very clearly. But, towards the end, the space was like an auditorium, with a lecture area in the center and areas for students to sit all around it and higher up. I had put the table I had surreptitiously borrowed from Nancy Pelosi among the tables in the student area while I went and did some other stuff, but in the meantime, students had come in, including my friend Dirk. And somebody, noticing that the table is more wheelchair-friendly than the standard tables there, which have metal bars crisscrossed underneath them, has set him up with it.

Now, I had totally been intending to give Nancy Pelosi her table back. It’s what I came back here to do. But Dirk is clearly getting some good out of it. Also, Nancy Pelosi was more of a jerk than I had expected. I figure she can just buy a new table or something.

1.12.18

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

2018-03-12 There have been many dreams of late, a certain theme have played over in its variety of incarnations. Approaching the water, confronting/releasing the reptiles. This dream showed up about a week following our last gathering. It felt big, as intense symbolically as when I have been guided previously by African Dream root. I didn’t intend to dive into it, but it seems appropriate at this time.

Dream 1: (2018-11-23) A series of events transpire in a complicated building complex with a large body of water, containing dinosaurs in them, which revolve around teaching others to express their needs and confronting children in an armoured “Big Daddy” suit.

I am in a large building complex, it is very bright and modern looking. There is plenty of sunlight pouring through the windows and there is a lot of greenery spread out around in the building. It is as if the building is roughly centred around a large pool in the middle, which is in place both at the ground floor and the basement. At the ground floor this massive square pool is surrounded by spectator seats, as there are multiple shows of “scary” animals taking place. In particular at present there are two megalodons in the waters as well as a larger dinosaur that during the dream ends up killing and consuming the two sharks.

In the beginning of the dream there is a show happening in the central room where the sharks and dino monsters are held. To begin with there is a jovial touristy atmosphere surrounding the show and all the spectator seats are filled. It very much has a Jurassic World kinda feel, which is significant in its theming.

I find myself at the basement looking into the waters through a thick sheating of glass. This is where I observe the massive dinosaur consume the two sharks in the tank. It also slams into the glass, though I am unsure if it displays signs of cracking at this or not. In any case this is where I get the feeling that is common to my dreams “I know how this story plays out”. I know that the massive dinosaur is going to crack the tank, thereby releasing 4 dinosaurs where one is a massive snake, the other is a t-rex, the third is the water-dino itself, while the 4th is unknown (immediately here the theme of the 4th unknown deserves attention as it has been a running theme since the night before our first dream sharing gathering, where I encountered an inner child that I didn’t know all that well amongst 3 others that I knew very well).

As per usual as I am thinking this an alarm goes off and there is a somewhat panicky atmosphere as the building starts being evacuated.

I head out off to a side building. It is on the right hand side of the body of water. This time I am on the upper floor. I am sat on a pathway made of steel and below there is a botanic room, again beautiful and floral. I am preparing a workshop. This workshop is about me making myself available to my clients for whatever they dare express their desires around. This particularly is meant for me to teach others about expressing their desires in a public forum, but with me as an object (something that was a major theme at a spiritual workshop in 2017, which I spoke to MA about). F is there and she says that she is interested in a massage, but nothing sexual.

Then I am in Hornslet, where I grew up. M is there with E on the road from the park, leading up to the council building. For some reason this is still connected to the building complex with the sharks and dinos. I am also there talking to M about what happened between them at the spot, so both while it is happening and after. M tells me how they decided to have sex, despite some of the warnings we had discussed about romantic ideations following transpersonal journeys.

M tells me: “We had a lot of sex and to begin with it was just vaginal penetration. But then I decided to fuck her in the ass, despite the fact that she had told me that she didn’t want to. It was rough on her, but I decided to do it anyway so she would have the experience from a friend. She needed to learn”. Throughout this interaction there is an implicit meaning between us around E’s tendency of leaning too hard on support from the outside, in particular male support, which can lead to her being exploited, which is what M was trying to teach her tough-love style.

There is a brief flash of running into my Cousin on a similar steel pathway on the uppermost floor.

The last full scenario again takes place on the right hand side of the large body of water, somehow in the same place as the last scenario with “expressing desire”, yet also below and somewhat unrelated. Again very bright and a light and pleasant atmosphere.

I am in a “Big Dady” suit from Bio Shock. I have almost won, yet I am caught off-guard by a grenade that slips under a big white statue or cardboard cut-out of a statue. The grenade is thrown by a little girl and the reason it catches me off guard is that I have stepped in a puddle of water and the grenade explodes in a long arc of lightning, nearly killing me. I try to escape by rushing to the stairways, but am electrocuted.

I sit down and feign death until the little girl and her mother appears. They walk down towards me the mother approaching. She leans really close checking my pulse, talking to me, asking me if I am dead or not. She has almost decided that I am death until one of my eye-lashes brush against her cheek and she proclaims “I felt a streak of lash against my cheek” and she discovers my deception. But she is so close and in such a vulnerable position that I manage to throw her off and have her eliminated upstairs.

The small girl that was accompanying her mother knows that upon the death of her mother that she can’t hope to win our contest. I am simply armoured too heavily in my “Big Dady” suit. I walk upstairs and am now confronted by 3 children, 2 boys and the girl. They all know they have lost, but decide to choose their weapons – pillows.

As we engage in a pillow fight and the kids seem drained of hope, I get a bad feeling. I feel bad for them and as such I decide not to fight to kill them.

Dream Ends.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I woke up in my teenage bedroom at my parent's house. There is a noise of jets outside and I go check it out and see three Northrop black planes passing by. They are flying quite low. But the stranger thing is they come back and pass in front of my window a couple more times and then come even closer and start circling my building as if scanning it. Last circle they slow down and come really close to my window, like less than a meter away and I realize they are tiny, no more than a meter wide, so they are actually unmanned drones and they seem to be very interested in me. Were they looking for me or did I attract their interest for being up staring at them while everyone else sleeps?
I then remember getting my phone to film, but it's too late, they are gone. Meanwhile my mom is awaking and I wanna tell her, she will freak out, but she is dressed up already and in a hurry to go somewhere for a few days for some conference. I feel worried, she never leaves abruptly like this.
Later on my father opens the door to a lady and her son. I don't like the woman, she is full of herself, but her son is actually a cool kid. They seem to be trying to fix us together, but there's no way, he is just a kid. Am I also a kid? Because I don't feel like it. I show him my room, the room from my teen years. He likes the furniture but dislikes the arrangement and gives me some advices on decoration. I'm like "seriously?".

I go to a museum with Riverstone and Nighthawk. At some point I split from them and go to the museum shop where something strange seems to be happening. There is some lady from a religious organization and a bishop and they are talking some fundamentalist shit to people. Clearly something is about to happen, and I decide to get out from there. But when I reach the door, a fat lady is locking it up with everybody inside. People seem confused and nonreactive, but I protest violently and even start crying making up that my mom is the hospital and I need to go see her. They don't care, they are doing a protest and basically taking everybody in the museum as hostages. They take us to an auditorium and force us to watch some kind of play, that I am sure is meant to brainwash us into their cause. But after offering resistance repeatedly and they reacting violently, I decide to resist by being a nuisance and making noise with some plastics I had in my bag and loud commentaries throughout their attempted play.

Notes: sooo I haven't gotten lucid for some time now, even though I thought I was coming closer and closer to a more consistent induction technique other than dild..... well tonight I got lucid using dild.... a lucid dream I said a lucid dream I guess lol

Dream: the dream kinda started out in a climbing gym. I had been working (route setting) for the competition that was taking place in the gym. I remember a ton of my friends participating in the competition.
Some time later, I find my self in a car. I was driving towards a town or something. (In real life i often RC while in my car , since I spend a lot of time driving. I often also think about what I would do if the RC would work some time lol). I RCed, since that what I normally do in my car. I didn't think much of the result of the RC. Ohh wait, didn't that RC just work??? I tried again and felt the air going through my nose (I did the nose plug RC). i got lucid!! (In waking life, I often thought that if I got lucid while driving, I would fly through the windshield or crash the car on purpose, just for the lolz) I though about flying, but didn't want to lol. So I parked the car. I actually just pulled the handbrake in the middle of the road hehe. I opened the car door and noticed I had my seatbelt on.i tried phasing through it. But it didn't work, so I just clicked my self out lol. I kept reminding myself that this was a dream, and rced a couple of times. I walked a minute or 2, towards this big house. (In my previous lucid dreams, the gravity has been weird, however in this one it was just as in waking life. Nice). I opened the front door of the house I was walking towards, and saw a big mirror in the entrance. I looked into the mirror to get a glimpse of my own reflection. I was wearing some kind of post apocalyptic clothes. And also I was wearing a fly mask / gas mask thing, and glasses. I couldn't feel all these head accessories on my face, so I just lolled and went into the next room. There were 2 dream characters in there. A woman with blond hair, and a girl with brown skin and hair. I said hi, and they said hi back. I went upstairs. And I woke up.......
I rolled over on my left side, picked up my pen and dream journal and wanted to write down the lucid dream I just had. But I couldn't remember the dream I had had before the lucid dream. Wait.... the dream before my lucid dream, was SOOOOO vivid. I should be able to remember that dream lol... I woke up, rolled over on my left side, picked up my dream journal and wanted to write the lucid dream I just had... WAIT.... didn't I just do this??? Hahahha the FA got me good this time....

Normally I tend to catch on to the FAs... but this time I didn't lol.

Morning of December 1, 2018. Saturday.

Dream # 18,975-02: Reading time: 3 min 48 sec. Readability score: 58.



My infra-self’s illusory location of being beyond the nexus of RAS (reticular activating system) separates me from my waking life identity. My infra-self (non-lucid dream self as personified subconscious) loses the viable connection with my unconscious mind in the non-lucid dream state, this personal truth (validated tens of thousands of times since early childhood) being the opposite of what most of modern society naively believes about non-lucid dreams. Only one subliminal thread of my conscious self remains without activating any other until I am in the nexus of the waking process.

I am in the King Street mansion, in the middle room of the east side of the second floor of the house, where I have not lived for over twenty years. I am wearing a dark blue hooded sweater with big front pockets. I am going to fly to Northside La Crosse, to Marilyn’s house. (Marilyn is an older half-sister on my mother’s side who died in 2014. My infra-self has no memory of her death.) The thought of physically taking to the air to fly has occurred in dreams all my life (even at age three), without the slightest pause of considering it as an impossible act, and of course, it is effortless. Flight and elevation symbols, both projected and inherited, have occurred at least once (typically more) in every sleep cycle for over fifty years. It is vestibular system correlation, the most common factor of the dream state, which I do not pretend has any association with waking life. It merely correlates with the nature of the absent physicality of the dream state.

I have a total of five Kinder Surprise eggs, all of which are still in the original packaging, though one of them has some of the foil coming off, with part of the chocolate exposed. I decide to eat that one and put its yellow toy container in my right pocket. I put the other unwrapped chocolate eggs in my pockets, three on the left, one on my right, and will give them all (including the toy) to my youngest daughter. (This focus does not bring about a recall of where I live. However, this is the second recent dream where I remembered her while my infra-self was erroneously on King Street and preparing to go to Northside La Crosse, though that one was caused by her speaking when I was sleeping. Also, I never saw Kinder Surprise products in America in reality.)

I fly to Northside La Crosse. I eat an entire chocolate pie (and appreciate its flavor) in an unfamiliar room implied to be in the Loomis Street house. (Dreams in which I eat something sweet only occur after I drink something sweet before sleep.) After this, I am watching television with my brother-in-law Bob. I do not care much about watching his show, which he comments on at times. I subliminally become aware of the nexus (the precursory association being the television), and this causes me to choose to go out onto the front porch. I look outside from the porch door and see a few unfamiliar people in the dark of late night. (There is no recall of often using this scenario to vivify and sustain my dream. Instead, I succumb to the subliminal awareness that I am dreaming in the next scene.)

I lie down on the couch on the porch, my head east. My dream becomes much more vivid in this preparatory transition. Marilyn’s neighbor comes onto the porch but appears as she was in the late 1970s. It is dark, but I can vaguely discern whom it is seemingly implied to be. She is going into the living room to see Bob but stops briefly, saying, “Oh, hello Claude, I’m sorry if I scared you.” On the one hand, there were no concerns about this simulacrum coming onto the porch (even though the preconscious is typically domineering at this stage of the waking process in this dream type). On the other hand, she never called me by my real first name in real life, and this error augments my self-awareness, though I remain only semi-lucid and soon wake.

Hearing my name in a dream usually results in consciousness shifts and level of awareness, as my imaginary dream self is unlike my waking life identity. It causes me to think about who I am, which causes me to wake, though the porch as the commonly recurring “bridge” through the nexus was already extant.

This entity had the essence of the interconsciousness more so than the preconscious (which seems absent here), which is atypical but has happened in other dreams. It most likely included an emerging but distorted thread of recalling Zsuzsanna. However, why was it apologizing? Does this go all the way back to 1965 when it came as a giant white cat (with a beard) that walked over my chest (one of my first nexus-as-porch dreams)? It may also relate to the bull simulacrum that, as a child, served as a limitation of deliberate dream state vivification and indefinitely sustaining them (which is unhealthy).

I think that the five eggs are autosymbolic for the beginning of the return to consciousness, as I have five children, though my infra-self only remembers my younger daughter, which correlates with the partially unwrapped egg as the beginning of waking life recall. (This is a no-brainer as “kinder” means “children” in this context in German - well DUH.) Yellow is the color I have always used (since early childhood) to initiate consciousness, whether in subliminal, liminal, or lucid modes. (Plus, it being on my ride side indicates waking process association, as I sleep on my left side with my right more exposed to my real environment.)

---

I had a night filled with SP maybe got paralyzed 2 or 3 times. Anyhow I first SP Lucid was hen I was laying down in bed and I felt the SP coming on. It made my head snap involuntarily side to side like I was having a bad dream then finally it washed over me. I felt the weight come over me with some slight tickling then I would start testing If i'm asleep. I would try to move but can't and if I can't that means I'm too awake. So I'd close my eyes for a few seconds then try again and this time I was able to get up. My mom was in the bed but was was the toy of preda zord. He was messing with me with his gator on his chest and then he gets a hold of my finger and swallows it in his mouth. I feel something inside burn me and I quickly yank my finger out of his chest. There is a small burned mark on the tip off my finger and I ended up slipping back into SP.

I slip into a none lucid dream about my dad. It was dawn with the room being filled with natural blue light. I'm at Raymond and I am laying down in my moms room. I'm at the top of the bed inbetween the head bored and the mattress I can feel my legs bending down into the gap so only my top torso was on the bed. My dad comes in and is asking for me. My sister is laying on the bed and is turning towards me but I wake up glad to have been where I was.

The dream changes and I'm now outside with it bright and sunny. I have made my dad upset about something and he has turned into the toy of vintage Dragon zord and is chasing me and some other person. He was small in size but knew we had to stay away from him of you would end up caught by what ever punishments he had in stored for us. The area we were at was flooded with light brown rushing water and we had to swim through it to get further up the road. Dragon zord followed us into the water and I thought he got swept away because of his size and him going under. I laughed at him until I seen a green fin headed towards us, he's swimming under the water. We both bolted to the right embankment and crawled out. the person I was with ended up turning into a small object and then I see Dragon zord come out of the water man sized. He started running after us and in the scramble to escape ended up dropping the person I had. He landed directly in front of the Dragon zord and quickly I grabbed him before he gets stepped on and caught by him and as I did that Dragon snatched at me, almost getting hold on me. I ran next to some brick buildings and down a dirt alleyway as Dragon zord followed me, wagging his drill tipped tail in the wake.

video

Dreamed I was watching a video of Jamie talking to me, or we are video chatting. She was really upset and crying. I think she said she missed me and was regretful about something. I wish I could really recall more of conversation in dreams. She seemed upset and like she wanted something from me? But I can't recall what. Wish i knew how to help.


Attacked

First I'm walking my dog through some park. I get over a hill and see lots of people with their dogs. Great... now I have to go back. But my dog is suddenly off leash and he runs towards the other dogs. My dog Runs up to a racoon on it's hind legs and is wearing a trench coat and then punches my dog...

Dream fast forwards on a suburban street where I am chasing after someone who looks like my brother taunting me. I chase him onto a school bus and someone knocks me on the ground. Then I see four or five people who look like my brother peering over me. They taunt and laugh at me. They say they have real plans for someone I know. (jamie?) and they say there's nothing I can do about it. Then they get off the bus laughing.

FA, and now I'm on a greyhound bus. I become lucid right away as everything feels light. I still have the other dream fresh in my mind so I know i must get out of there. I begin walking into the aisle. I will myself to wake up because i want to warn jamie. But when i wake up i remember we aren't talking. Damn.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


There is an earthquake or something. Everybody gets evacuated from home, but I go back to get some food. I had some giant potatoes cooked and ready to eat which I store in plastic containers to take. The building starts swinging side to side, collapsing but I stop the swinging by playing as a counterweight (duh).
Outside people are jamming the roads, everybody is dressed like the 50's.

My best friend is having his wedding in a castle. I am actually in love with him but never told him. He looks like Chris Pine and his girlfriend is Jennifer Garner. I don't like her, we have a history and she must have skeletons in the closet. Some guy she knows appears before the wedding and kidnaps her with intention to rape her. My friend goes after them, but he gets injured in a leg and can't keep up. The bad guy sees a chance and hangs him. His ghost comes to me and takes me to where his body is. But he is not yet completely dead, stuck in a limbo, I do CPR and I save him. Then he goes to save his future wife.
Later on, with his girlfriend safe, we're back in his room where he thanks me for saving him. His eyes are full of love. I go away and another friend who was watching at the door tells me that we should have kissed right there, because he clearly is in love with me and would not go through with the wedding. I tell him I couldn't do it, I didn't want to ruin his wedding. If he hadn't figured it out before, too late. Still, I have hopes that he will come after me, but he does not.
I go down some spiral staircase and end up in a patio where I scream out of my lungs that I love him. I start getting lucid, realize the details and clarity of the scenario and enjoy being in that state for a while.
(woke up)

In some holiday place with a bunch of guys who do not seem really happy to have me with them. One of them is a surfer and he says let's go to the beach and he will teach us how to surf. I say I'd like to, he looks annoyed, but doesn't know how to decline.
We are staying in some type of dorm and downstairs there's a kind of shuttle pods on rails that take us directly to the beach. He takes us to a small and hidden beach that looks heaven. I try to take pictures of this place but can't find my phone.
(wake up)

Some scenes with my father and me testing a new precinct for my dogs, with individual kennels and a common area and access to a lake. The dogs are happy. I have trouble directing them to the kennels and some find a door open in the back and run to the lake. But it's fine and all my dogs are gathered there and not fighting so I am happy too.

Then at some place like a restaurant cleaning up a mess, raw eggs and soup all over the floor. Maybe I work there, not sure. I get to a backroom, with the cleaning stuff and I have a close encounter with a vampire. Not a human like, but a Nosferatu bat-like vampire with wings. He is flying from place rt place, trying to bite me. But I somehow affect him with a strong light and throwing on him an acid used for cleaning. At some point he is actually scared and trying to run away. I guess I owned him.

Visiting the restaurant of my friend Ax-man. He moved his business to a new place, much larger, also very different, but he seems to be having success. Lots of kids from college go there for lunch, it's quite noisy and chaotic. It has long rooms one after the other, connected by ramps. But kids push it a bit too far. There is one skating through the ramps to the exit. I know him, he is a good kid, but I scold him and he runs away. At the entrance, my friend (the one I am in love with) is entering and is hit by the skater. Now he doesn't look like Chris Pine anymore, now he is black, like another actor I can't remember right now. He and the kid fall down. As I run to help him, I also fall down on them. We're all ok, the skater kid goes away and we both laugh at it, still all twisted on the ground. He insists on checking my ankles and massaging my legs and I know right there, seated on the ground with him, that he is in love with me but doesn't want to admit it.

I reminisce memories from time in school. I was bullied by the girl he is now going to marry. Once she scared me with a knife at the cafeteria. She was the popular girl, but she felt threatened by me. For example, I was a great gymnast and I beat her once at a competition. When I was on stage receiving a medal, she was in front row in the audience, looking like she could kill me.

Again with the dudes, that I now understand are my friend's groomsmen and also kids who disliked me in school. They can't help gazing at my body as I undress, but also seem to really detest me, because as we grew up I was the nerdy ugly duckling they despised. We all went swimming and I am way ahead of them, but stop to give them a chance to reach me. They basically almost went over me and couldn't care if I drowned. I realized we were never going to be friends.
At night we are joined by the groom. The boys are all a bit drunk and so I lead them to a shady cabaret on a basement. It's not innocent, I know what this place is. I enter through the artists door and I ask them them to wait outside. This place is a den of vampires, all which I know and are my friends. I talked to them and say I brought preys. But before, they will watch me as I perform on stage. Their chins will drop and then they'll die. But I explicitly tell my vampires friends to leave the cute one out of it, because he is mine.

so the first dream i was at my cousins. i remember there were lots of police outside because i guess we were using crazy drugs or something. so we just walked home and apparently we were invisible cause they didn’t see us at all.

the next one is strange. i was once again with my cousin and this time my brother as well. we walked to this bakery by my house amd i remember the guy atthe cash register kept flirting with me. The somehow i was randomly teleported to school, where this weird guy on a horse kept trying to kidnap me. i almost escaped but went outside to splash water all over him in revenge, and then he kept trying again. i ran in a classroom and no one tried to help me so i just went under the cupboard. he came in, found me, and then grabbed my wrist. it wasnt until i screamed “help” that people actually got up and helped. then it ended.

October dreams.

what?

A dream from Jamie's perspective, she's driving in a car by didsbury and saying to herself, "I won't talk to Rob unless he sends me another message."

more Jamie dreams

I'm outside my house at night walking with Dara. Jamie is behind us and she looks super mad. In another dream I am sitting on a couch with some girl and not sure who and Jamie pries the top of the dream apart and peers in, she has a very dull and disappointed look on her face


Some days later I dream me and her are in front of some papers and we are planning where to live?
Lucid


I'm in some weird shop and some youtuber I hate is there but in this dream we seem to be friends. I become lucid and spend the rest of the dream trying to convince him it's a dream.

November

This was a crazy night.

dream 1: I was hanging with jamie and we seemed to be on okay terms. We were sitting under a water bridge or something when some woman with wings flies up to me. She starts flirting with me and puts something over my head and i just laugh. I get a mirror out and it turns out the girl put a mask on me that makes my face look like my face but plastic. I pull the mask thingy off but it comes off as some mesh leggings. I look over to Jamie who seems to have changed her face to someone unrecognizable. OMG I just realized why she was so mean in the next dreams.

Dream 2: I'm having an awkward meeting with my dad. We decide to go to some restaurant but all the tables and chairs are in uncomfortable positions.

FA, In a basement I think Jamie is there and some other people. I'm sitting on a couch and I find a small picture of an evil looking woman with brown hair. I feel a demonic presence attached to this picture. The picture jumps out of my hands and I try to catch it. It lets out a small laugh as I chase it all over the couch then I notice it's left a small trail behind of shit. All over the couch. I frantically try to clean it up and almost throw up. When Done, I look for the picture again.

FA, in the same basement on a couch. People are there and I ask them If they remember the dream we just had? The one with the demon causing all sorts of trouble? Everyone looks at me like I've gone insane? I look to the couch and Jamie is there staring into my brother's eyes like she is in love and they are whispering something i can't hear. I get up from the couch and say, "Are you two getting into something here?". My brother shakes his head ,"no". He gets ups from the couch and leaves. I notice his friend richard there at the other couch. Jamie says, "Robert don't".

"You know what pisses me off?" I say. As My brother moves away Jamie falls backwards on the couch. Her mouth a big ,"O", of surprise as in ,"How dare you look at me this way?" And she moves her arms to cover her breasts which I can't see anyway because she's wearing a dress that covers them. but what she doesn't realize is that by falling backwards the bottom of her dress is up, and not only is she not wearing anything underneath, but I can also see everything.

I ignore that, and keep going. "It's that after all these years you're still not really my friend." Jamie scrunches her forehead, a look, which I've seen before when she's about to disagree with me. My memory fades here.

next few days:

Dreams of Jamie taper off, but I remember some fragments.

School

Dream of the school we usually dream at. Jamie is sitting there on the curb and she is saying, "You're not going to hit me with that are you?" I look down and I am holding some sort of Disc or plate... "No," I say, "Why would I do that?"

Then the next day I have a fragment where She is smiling at me and we seem to be on good terms.

Bjork Dreams



One where I find Bjork in the gymnasium of the school. She says she wrote a song for me. She plays it and it's good. i wonder If I'll be able to remember the melody. Sadly i don't.

Other dream was I was flying around a large abandoned city. I heard Bjork singing a melody. I began singing the same melody after she stopped. I flew up to her and she was floating in the air with some man. She asked if it was me who was just singing her song? I forget what answer I give and I just fly off.

Other non lucids

In one dream i am at my house? or someone else's. And I go outside and see a Big dragon roaming around. I hide and people I seem to know keep driving by on ATVs Asuka is in one and she said The girls have taken the remaining dybbuk boxes and have put them away safely. I explain that won't get the demons out of Jamie's inner world. She said it's a start.

Data

A dream where I can see Data trying to get into Jamie's inner world. I think I am watching on a screen. He comes to a shield he can't get past. He plants explosives at the base and it blows a tunnel underneath. At this point Data is so clear he looks exactly like the TV character. I usually never see him like that. He keeps tunneling with his phaser or something. He keeps saying what he is doing and what he is going to try, but it sounds too technical. At this point I think I'm watching a lost episode of Star trek. Some giant tendril rises from underneath him it looks like it's connected to something from the movie tremors. It begins pulling Data under and he still keeps talking just louder. Eventually his head falls off and everything fades to black.

Jesus is being creepy again

i woke up in the middle of the night and thought to myself ,"will I ever see Jamie again?" I fall into a dream vision and see Jesus with a big goofy grin on his face. He is pointing at the gates of heaven where a bright light is obscuring what's behind the gates. "You'll see her there!!!" Jesus booms without moving his mouth.

What about before then?

Semi lucid

Dreamed I was walking somewhere in the wilderness at night. I discovered I could float if I pawed the air a bit. I had to find a washroom So I came across a familiar door that went under a hill. I knew it was a place under construction and late night people might be working so I floated in through the top of the door way which was very tall. Inside was a place with fresh drywall and there was a guy mixing mud loudly so I floated above him. He didn't notice. At the end of the hall was a large room maybe for a kitchen or living room. There was another hallway so I took that one and spotted another worker where i knew the washroom was. I floated above him too and went in the doorway. i did my business in the room. When i left one of the workers spotted me so i flew fast out the entrance door.

Co-workers

Dreamed I was with some of my co workers in a large room that seemed filled with water. Only we could breathe under it. One girl was still ina sybmarine or something but it was really small. A floated up to her friend and smiled at her.

Concert surprise

Dream about some youtuber guy. We were at a music hall or something where a party was going on. We discovered we could do some really crazy dream parkour as the gravity seemed light. He found some markings high up that said if he could follow the parkour course in the hall three times, A well known rock band would show up. I watched him do the parkour sequence 3 times. On the last try he was struggling with it. He managed to do it right and suddenly a band i never heard of showed up and started to play or something.

Training

Various dreams of martial arts training. In one i'm being trained in a kung fu form by some chinese guy. He claims he is teaching me tiger and Crane, but the sequence i show him is different than what he is teaching. In another dream i am in a simulation where I am training with a wooden sword. A guy goes to stab me with his right sword and take mine and try to stab his right arm to deflect. The trainer says I'm not doing what he showed me. He asks again what should I do when someone swings with his right from that angle? I just say I have to be faster. The trainer shakes his head. In another dream i am practicing the form with a coworker. We go through a sequence and she says she doesn't like that particular pose.


Messages

I kept dreaming of getting messages from Jamie on Facebook, but they were all mean.
Stadium

Dream flash about seeing Jamie at a stadium with her own trainer? She looks like an anime girl and has a green bandana. She looks very angry but also determined. I wonder why I am there? Was I training for this? Or were we supposed to dream battle? i never got a conclusion to this.

Basement 1

This is after Raven telling me she remembered putting up a shield in someone's inner world. I'm wandering a basement when I run into a woman with long dark hair. She also has dark skin and pulls me into a bedroom. We start kissing. Not sure who this was.

Basement 2

I'm in Jamie's basement and I am wandering around. I go into a room where I feel a dark presence. I feel a presence possess me and i feel really dark like when i'm in SP. I go up to some people and ask them if I seem different. No body seems to notice anything but then my voice changes.

Basement 3

I'm in the basement but find extra rooms where there's people in there with a long scenario to kill me. I Run into Asuka and data and they both say Jamie is nowhere to be found, but that this place is crawling with Demons, so we decide to leave.

Basement 4

I enter the basement again the next day but get trapped and held down by hoodlums. An evil looking woman emerges and gives and evil smile. she says I'll never get back in here again.

Jesus again

I'm at the Dream highschool that me and Jamie use as a neutral ground to hang out in dreams. It's only me and her in class and Jesus is the teacher. He hands us a large book and says this is what we are to study for our assignment. I leaf through and there's a bunch of sci-ency and spiritual technobabble. One chapter catches my eye it says something about Jamie being suicidal? I look at Jamie but she's almost leaving the classroom. I stop her and say we should study. She says she knows it all and repeats all the terms in the book back to me except for the last one. She then leaves. Then i think she didn't want to talk about that last subject.

Jamie tries to contact me

A dream of talking on a computer screen with jamie. She says she misses the dreams and she can't find me. I say I can't get to her house since her shield went up and I got kicked out by some some woman.

phone call

I'm at home and Asuka hands me the phone and says it's from Jamie. I barely hear Jamie when I burst into tears and then I ask her why she hasn't called me in years and why now of all times? then I wake up.

Roland

I am in the Dark Tower World with Jamie we are walking with roland in a huge desert. IT's so windy that Roland is wearing some large archaic goggles to protect his eyes from the dust. I guess we were telling him about our friendship because he suddenly seems perplexed and then almost mad. He barks at us, "Why don't you two just contact one another?" and turns his head away in disapproval. I start to say I did attempt contact but then I woke up.

The Rose

I am at the corner of Second and Forty-Sixth in a vacant lot in New York standing over a Rose. IT's The Rose from the Dark Tower novels. Jamie is talking to me either in my head or through an earpiece for some reason we think this can get me back into her inner world. She asks me If I'm at the rose? We seem to making a coordinated effort or something. I am greatly transfixed by the rose. "Yes I am at the rose." I say. "...I'm always at the rose..." Then I wake up. Well I guess I screwed that one up.

Lucid 1

I become Lucid in my house when I discover gravity is light. I can't think of any plans so i look into a mirror. I don't try to change my image but the reflection starts smiling at me and looks evil. It fades out shortly after.

Lucid 2

I become lucid in a movie theater when I float up. I leave the theater and look for someone. I wind up in the projection room and my vision starts to go dark. I keep saying ,"Computer: lights" a few times until I see the light is on finallyI seem very determined to do something. I enter a place with seating tables where people are eating and I spot an old co worker Daniel. I go up to him and tell him it's a dream. He doesn't seem to care much but after I keep talking he looks somewhat interested.

"If you're wondering who I am," I say, "I might be your subconscious!" But I screw up the word: subconscious. I briefly fall back into SP and I am struggling to talk because I can feel my physical jaw is mostly numb. I snap back into the dream. "I'm sorry i meant: subconscious. I can't talk sometimes..." Dan just shrugs. Then I clue into what I need him for: He has to get into Jamie's inner world to take her shields down because I am not allowed. I have to try to convince him. "We are going to use your dreams to build your confidence... With GIRLS!" Dan then perks up a bit and seems more interested and almost smiles, which is strange for him. "For this next mission," I continue," You are going to get to practice with a very SPECIAL girl!" Jamie's voice booms into my head. "Robert... REALLY?" she sounds really annoyed. But Dan agrees. I pull up my watch with a display and see Asuka and Data behind two separate screens. Asuka says, "Im planting a homing device on him now!". Data is at a display with a keyboard and his fingers are moving at blinding speed. He says, "Locking onto him now and Transporting." then I wake up.

Date of Dream: SUN 25 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 490 - Just A Casual Sightseeing

I don’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, I was in a distorted version of MYER and I was a part of some fantasy rescue mission. I can’t remember the exact details, although it got weirder and scarier as the scene went on. There was one stage where I can recall carrying things up and down the escalators and eventually, near the end of the scene, we left MYER and were running around the rest of the unknown shopping centre.

In the last scene of the dream, I was in my own court. Although I had no clear intentions at the time, I wanted to spend some time with 18-Volt. I then thought to myself, “Hmm, if I specify that I want to see my grandfather, the dream will just fade out on me. Guess I just state I want help with the elevator task”. Then I added that I’d better make sure I knew the controls for this scene of the dream in case something went wrong, they were the four options of PlayStation buttons, X, ∆, O and □.

I was standing half way down the hill of the court when I called for 18-Volt. He appeared very promptly and so I didn’t have to call for very long. When he was walking up the hill, I noticed he didn’t resemble any in-game appearance, rather he had semi-realistic textures. Although his top half was naked, he was wearing shorts and shoes and so I wasn’t bothered at all in this dream, also, he wasn’t greasy to touch but was rather quite pleasant.

He gave a really wide smile as I came up to him and then he picked me up straight away. Only thing is he didn’t hold me as well as in other dreams. He had both his hands just below my butt and so there were two things that bothered me. One, I felt like my underpants were being eaten by my backside as he pushed into it and two, there was no upper weight support and so I felt like I could fall backwards off him and have a rough landing on the road.

I asked 18-Volt in a panic as I started to lose my balance on him, “Can you put your arms a bit higher?!”. The only adjustment he made was to shift both of them about a millimetre upwards which made my underpants go up my butt even more. Now in a lot of discomfort, I said while grimacing “18-Volt! Put one hand on my back!”. It seems like he finally got it, realising I was going to fall, as he quickly took one of his hands entirely off my butt and placed it onto my upper back. He then moved his other hand and placed it just above my butt and below my lower back.

Despite all the panic and stress, 18-Volt still had that charming grin pasted on his face. I asked 18-Volt to wait a second before he moved off, he accepted and nodded. I noticed in this dream I was wearing a grey night dress (because of the feeling of the fabric, I knew which one it was). Finally I could make myself comfortable, tugging at my underpants and getting them out from where they shouldn’t be. Once everything was fixed and placed in its normal location, that familiar feeling came, that feeling where 18-Volt felt soft and warm like a giant teddy bear.

When I was ready, I gave 18-Volt a nod and pointed up the court with my thumb. He widened his grin, nodding back at me, and then he began to move off. The pace he was going was extremely slow, it felt even slower than walking but it was suitable to the situation we were in. As 18-Volt gently moved me up the court, I poked my head out from beside him, looking upwards and was peacefully admiring the light grey sky as well as the treetops and roofs of the houses we walked past as well as hearing all the birds chirping.

I noticed that 18-Volt had turned into the driveway and decided to enter into the house. He picked up his pace as he carried me up the stairs. Then inside the main part of the house, family friends seemed to be over for a visit. Close to the end of the walkway, I could see AV at the corner of my eye, giving 18-Volt a strange, dirty look and asking my mum, “Who’s that?”. 18-Volt completely ignored her and didn’t seem to think anything of it as he continued on his merry way to my bedroom. As he was turning right to go through the doorway to my room, I woke up.



Dream No. 490
Dream Guide: 18-Volt
Lucid?: No



Although this wasn't a lucid dream, my senses felt like they were extremely vivid and so it's like I really paid extra attention to my surroundings. The senses I felt outside in the court is just as if I was in waking life, the only difference is the additional interaction with 18-Volt which would obviously not be possible in the waking world.

Date of Dream: FRI 23 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 489 - A Confusing Crossover

I don’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, I was in a completely unknown area and it was some sort of crossover event between members of my family as well as various members of the video game community. I do remember seeing Mona from Warioware as well as 18-Volt who was from Warioware; they were both in semi-realistic textures. A small group of characters that included Mona and 18-Volt were sitting in a circle and talking to each other.

In this dream, there was no association to 18-Volt of him being my dream guide, we seemed to be almost strangers in this dream. I noticed as I was approaching the group that 18-Volt had leaned slightly back. When he did this, I got myself down and sat back-to-back, I was leaning on him but he was unaware of who it was. In the form of energy, I could tell that 18-Volt started to get uncomfortable in his position and so he wanted to adjust to lean forward slightly. Only, he ended up staying still to keep that feeling of comfort for me as he was aware that “someone” was leaning on him. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream No. 489
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Date of Dream: WED 21 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 488 - Separated Sections

Dream 488 A - You'll Never Succeed
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, there was this old guy talking to me that looked like he could have been Colonel Sanders. I forgot how the conversation started, though I know it wasn’t a very pleasant one. It was pitch black at night and he was saying something about how the spirits would never help me, that they are wise beyond their years and that they think I’m badly behaved. I was going to prove this Colonel Sanders guy wrong.

I walked off into the swamp village of houses and started calling for 18-Volt. The odds became grim when I noticed he wasn’t appearing. It seems as though I was on the hunt for 18-Volt for the rest of the dream and even peeked around houses and fences to find him. It was only near the end of the dream that he actually started to appear but it wasn’t neat at all. He was appearing as a line drawing and boy did he look extremely messy, I almost couldn’t tell who it was. That’s all I can remember about this dream.

Dream 488 B - Those Are Not My Sunnies
I can’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, it was a distorted version of my high school but the appearance was more of my primary school but with a few extra, complex looking buildings compared to the rest of the campus. I was walking up into what seemed to be the library area and in one area, near the stairs, there seemed to be a supposed dream gallery in which one of my dreams was featured. Apparently it was if the DreamViews moderators saw that the dream fit a certain theme and then they would write a piece about it.

The two moderators that assessed my dream were “Believeland19” and I have forgotten the user name of the other one. The dream that won the competition was something to do with a birthday theme. The moderators had written a comparison on Dreamy WB compared to one of the men in the dream. They abbreviated her identity as “DY WB”. I forgot what they exactly said in their written analysis though.

I then went further up the stairs and saw a very large, interesting looking room, almost like it would lead into some sort of movie theatre. In there was a drama class, so I watched what they were doing and they were working on some sort of performance. Other students were sitting and watching. As I was sitting on the floor, I found it very uncomfortable to stay in one position and found it especially hard to cross my legs (just like I can’t cross my legs in real life anymore).

In later scene of the dream, I was outside and realised that I had misplaced my sunglasses. I saw a lot of different sunglasses on the ground, mixed in with all the other litter that students had thrown around the place. I tried sunnies on of all shapes and sizes but I realised that none of them were mine. Eventually, Ms L came up and spoke to me and I told her I was looking for my sunnies. In this dream, she had a bit of a mean vibe. I did end up telling her what my sunnies looked like but in the dream, I could never find them. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream 488 A
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Dream 488 B
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

so this is non- lucid dream where being awake and your always awake yet you transcend into a forever sleep form while always being awake so as I close my eyes I see lights and dark aura manipulation where I try to attain solid form and metal like awareness In the solidify light and darkness I try meditating and controlling the dark aura around me before slipping into lucidity as I start to sink in the bed i become aware when i start to wake the lights are gesture of reality that have been said and done then they come into a wake of psychotic expression in 2dimension that i have to try to stare and figure out the complexity before i fall into a deep sleep when in deep sleep the gesture of the light and darkness rave into complexity of false reality and reality alike then when staring into the light aura and darkness rave the intent then becomes whateva i can think before blacking out and waking up in lucidity