non-lucid

Date of Dream: FRI 23 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 489 - A Confusing Crossover

I don’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, I was in a completely unknown area and it was some sort of crossover event between members of my family as well as various members of the video game community. I do remember seeing Mona from Warioware as well as 18-Volt who was from Warioware; they were both in semi-realistic textures. A small group of characters that included Mona and 18-Volt were sitting in a circle and talking to each other.

In this dream, there was no association to 18-Volt of him being my dream guide, we seemed to be almost strangers in this dream. I noticed as I was approaching the group that 18-Volt had leaned slightly back. When he did this, I got myself down and sat back-to-back, I was leaning on him but he was unaware of who it was. In the form of energy, I could tell that 18-Volt started to get uncomfortable in his position and so he wanted to adjust to lean forward slightly. Only, he ended up staying still to keep that feeling of comfort for me as he was aware that “someone” was leaning on him. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream No. 489
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Date of Dream: WED 21 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 488 - Separated Sections

Dream 488 A - You'll Never Succeed
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, there was this old guy talking to me that looked like he could have been Colonel Sanders. I forgot how the conversation started, though I know it wasn’t a very pleasant one. It was pitch black at night and he was saying something about how the spirits would never help me, that they are wise beyond their years and that they think I’m badly behaved. I was going to prove this Colonel Sanders guy wrong.

I walked off into the swamp village of houses and started calling for 18-Volt. The odds became grim when I noticed he wasn’t appearing. It seems as though I was on the hunt for 18-Volt for the rest of the dream and even peeked around houses and fences to find him. It was only near the end of the dream that he actually started to appear but it wasn’t neat at all. He was appearing as a line drawing and boy did he look extremely messy, I almost couldn’t tell who it was. That’s all I can remember about this dream.

Dream 488 B - Those Are Not My Sunnies
I can’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, it was a distorted version of my high school but the appearance was more of my primary school but with a few extra, complex looking buildings compared to the rest of the campus. I was walking up into what seemed to be the library area and in one area, near the stairs, there seemed to be a supposed dream gallery in which one of my dreams was featured. Apparently it was if the DreamViews moderators saw that the dream fit a certain theme and then they would write a piece about it.

The two moderators that assessed my dream were “Believeland19” and I have forgotten the user name of the other one. The dream that won the competition was something to do with a birthday theme. The moderators had written a comparison on Dreamy WB compared to one of the men in the dream. They abbreviated her identity as “DY WB”. I forgot what they exactly said in their written analysis though.

I then went further up the stairs and saw a very large, interesting looking room, almost like it would lead into some sort of movie theatre. In there was a drama class, so I watched what they were doing and they were working on some sort of performance. Other students were sitting and watching. As I was sitting on the floor, I found it very uncomfortable to stay in one position and found it especially hard to cross my legs (just like I can’t cross my legs in real life anymore).

In later scene of the dream, I was outside and realised that I had misplaced my sunglasses. I saw a lot of different sunglasses on the ground, mixed in with all the other litter that students had thrown around the place. I tried sunnies on of all shapes and sizes but I realised that none of them were mine. Eventually, Ms L came up and spoke to me and I told her I was looking for my sunnies. In this dream, she had a bit of a mean vibe. I did end up telling her what my sunnies looked like but in the dream, I could never find them. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream 488 A
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Dream 488 B
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

so this is non- lucid dream where being awake and your always awake yet you transcend into a forever sleep form while always being awake so as I close my eyes I see lights and dark aura manipulation where I try to attain solid form and metal like awareness In the solidify light and darkness I try meditating and controlling the dark aura around me before slipping into lucidity as I start to sink in the bed i become aware when i start to wake the lights are gesture of reality that have been said and done then they come into a wake of psychotic expression in 2dimension that i have to try to stare and figure out the complexity before i fall into a deep sleep when in deep sleep the gesture of the light and darkness rave into complexity of false reality and reality alike then when staring into the light aura and darkness rave the intent then becomes whateva i can think before blacking out and waking up in lucidity

Morning of November 23, 2018. Friday.

Dream #: 18,967-04. Reading time: 2 min 52 sec. Readability score: 59.



King Street boarding house in La Crosse in late morning. (Irrelevant to waking life since 1990). I may have descended the imaginary staircase (though I do not have the memory of it) to sustain and vivify my dream.

I am at the bottom of the staircase from the second floor, where there is the fictitious feature of an L-shaped foyer where I remain until my dream ends. My landlady comes in from her kitchen and tells me to mop the floor in this area. The mop bucket is to my left. The mop is next to it.

I do not use any water. I guide the mop over the floor and soon see a C-shaped clump of dust that it gathers and consider if I should tell the landlady that I should sweep the floor first. Soon, I see several Kinder Surprise toys on the floor, one of them a small penguin figure. I move the mop, and they are all in a small cluster.

I hear my youngest daughter talking from upstairs, though I do not discern what she is saying. My landlady comes in (again from her kitchen) and asks me if my daughter has eaten yet. I am uncertain but tell her that she may have gotten something on her own. I inform her that I will be taking my daughter “to the north side” (meaning Northside La Crosse, to the Loomis Street house).

She seems concerned that my daughter is on her own upstairs and mentions something about having heard of a boy on a CD, who recently died. (This is possibly my infra-self distorting “TV” to prevent a literal waking life translation, as the unconscious mind is not viably accessible in the dream state, contrary to popular misconception.)

---

My dream starts decoding itself a moment before waking. None of our children have ever lived in America, let alone Northside La Crosse (or the King Street mansion on the south side of town either). I do not use the mop bucket, because I subliminally recall that water represents melatonin and potential dream state reinduction (and mopping or cleaning being an inherited biological thread of the glymphatic system, when fluid increases in cells while sleeping). (Because of this, water in the nexus, other than when I am entering or anticipating a return to sleep, never occurs. Despite the presence of the mop bucket and thinking it might be full of water, I never actually look into it and use the mop in its dry condition. Why? Because I am subliminally aware of being in the dream state - non-lucid - and my daughter might need me as perceived by RAS - even though Zsuzsanna is also awake, thus I do not seek to reinduce my sleep cycle.)

---

For many years (even in childhood), I have been trying to determine if there is any consistent cause as to which threads of the current conscious self survive the demolition past the nexus and the transpersonal interconsciousness into non-lucid dream space. The infra-self is focused on the transition through the sleeping, dreaming, and waking space, not real life or from the viewpoint of the conscious self identity as in waking life, which ceases to exist in non-lucid dream space (one of many reasons I wholly dismiss “dream interpretation” in the typical use of the term).

My youngest daughter is the sole liminal presence here based on something presently real in my life (though my dream self has no memory of my current address or that we live in Australia even in otherwise having recognition of my daughter). The reason is that she was awake and talking in reality at the time (in the lounge room) and it filtered through the nexus, the only thread that reached my infra-self.

The staircase leads down into the (fictitious) L-shaped foyer. A foyer or porch is often a concurrent “bridge” within the nexus in all modes of dream manifestation (subliminal, liminal, and lucid) and RAS (reticular activating system) processes. It is used the same way in hypnosis and meditation. However, a staircase is not just about initiating consciousness in the waking process (or using it to vivify a dream when descending one). It is also about breaking the imaginary physicality of liminal space and becoming aware of the physical body (vestibular system correlation).

---

Morning of November 22, 2018. Thursday.

Dream #: 18,966-01. Reading time: 1 min 40 sec. Readability score: 50.



I am looking at the ocean while I am incorporeal. It is near either sunrise or sunset. The ocean’s surface has a purple hue. A drone that I see as firstly flying high in the sky reaches a small island. At first, I do not know what it is. It had been sent to study lemurs. Eventually, I feel that it is invasive and unwarranted. There is a family of lemurs that sits in what is more like an oversized bird nest. An unfamiliar narrator’s voice (very rare in my dreams), as if as part of a documentary, mentions something about the mother lemur and “what she makes of it.” (I hear “make” twice, but I do not recall the full phrase. It seems to imply making something in a literal context but is ambiguous.)

I am aware that the mother lemur may capture the drone and hide it somewhere, like inside the nest or covered with something, to prevent humans from watching them or discovering where they are.

---

Purple (as a dominant feature) is an uncommon color in my dreams (though so is orange) and only dominates when coming up more quickly out of slow-wave sleep, of which the ocean represents the residual essence. (Ocean presence of a vivid discernment, other than its depths, typically only occurs in the last dream of a sleep cycle, whereas rivers, lakes, and streams occur near the beginning of every sleep cycle and often even when I am not asleep, in the first stages of hypnagogia. I associate water with the natural melatonin process and sleep itself, usually hearing the imaginary sound of water as I enter sleep.)

Lemurs, as well as monkeys, on the fundamental level, are often a precursory subliminal association with coming up out of the dream state, a representation of the infra-self.

Flying autosymbolism (either projected or inherited) has occurred in my dreams at least once (typically more than once) during every sleep cycle for over fifty years. It is the main factor of vestibular system correlation, the primary process of resolving physicality because the physicality of the dream state is imaginary (which triggers falling dreams, the so-called “waking start”).

The drone is the emerging consciousness factor in this transition, a non-lucid and often invasive dynamic by way of the preconscious, seeking out my infra-self (the lemurs in this case) to initiate consciousness. A look at thousands of my (non-lucid) dream posts on Tumblr (once autosymbolism is legitimately understood) will reveal the same processes with infinite variations.

---

11-22
Note: Went to bed about 11pm or so.

Dream: Long one first. I was on some kind of job-related trip, which would last for (exactly) 21 hours. It was a serious task, perhaps a manhunt? I'm accompanied by others. There's a scene where I'm in an office late, and a sense of urgency throughout. The most iconic image from the dream is me getting in a taxi. The lighting reminds me of the final episode of The Bodyguard which F was watching on Netflix two nights ago.

Dream: There are two John Stamoses, each holding grey yorkies, in a kitchen I don't recognize (could have been from a medication commercial on TV; strange because I don't have TV, local or cable, nowadays). They're reading lines against each other. One of them looks like an impersonator, like a John Stamos-Nick Offerman lovechild.

Fragment: Third-person. A man is in love with his teacher who keeps "marrying Italian men". Most iconic image (will just call these MII's from now on): city street sidewalk, bright daylight.

WBTB: F got up for work at 5:30, I unfortunately awoke around 4:50 and figured there was no point going back to sleep until after she left since she comes in to say goodbye around 6:10. Also felt really lazy and didn't want to walk my dog though. Ended up having to get up to kill a roach (was afraid that would impact my remaining dreams at first, but I gave him a loving look as I flushed him down the toilet so as to emphasize to my subconscious that I don't have a deep sense of fear or disgust towards him and he shouldn't show up in my dreams; was actually a very empathetic moment for me, considering my deep-seated sense of fear and disgust for those bastards). Finally went back to bed, probably around 6-6:30.

Dream (WILD): I remembered as I was falling asleep that I've been wanting to do "WILD Wednesdays" and I missed my mark yesterday, so I reminded myself to do so. I also read an interesting article about AILD (reddit) (similar to self-help affirmations, but the main difference is phrasing your "afformation" in the form of "Why do I have 10-minute lucid dreams?" and letting your mind mull it over and find possibilities, instead of repeating "I have 10-minute lucid dreams" over and over with all the evidence pointing to the contrary). I did it a few times in the evening and a few times before bed.
I fell asleep with my arms in weird positions, so I had a few cycles of popping in and out of a dreams due to struggling against my inability to move and immediately waking up. I finally popped into a dream where I was in a black void and was struggling with this arm movement again, but I managed to wait long enough to let the dream materialize, and my arms started cooperating. My sense of the area came first and my vision came second. I floated down in slow motion towards a tub of water with a golden tile rim and red/blue/cream tiles on the sides and bottom. I landed and then was able to pick myself up from the pool.
I stepped out and surveyed the room; the tub was in the west corner, flush against the north, west, and south walls, meaning the room was only as wide as the tub. There was some sort of pump equipment on the south wall but I didn't examine it closely. There were some doors along the north and south walls as well, I remember reading a black and white sign on the north wall. There may have been a large green pipe with a patina against the north wall as well.
There were open reddish double doors to the east about 20-30 feet away from the tub. I went through them towards a door (the tiles on the floor and walls were all creamish colored by the way), I got the strange feeling this was a subway station. I approached the door, which had another black and white sign on it, and awoke abruptly.

Dream (DILD): I became lucid almost instantly after entering this dream scene. I found myself on a cement ramp between two tall redbrick buildings. The space was about 10-20 feet wide, split into two sections lengthwise by a black handrail, one surface being flat and the other being a ramp that rose from where I was up to the level of the flat side (the ramp side was on the right from my position). After the ramp ended, there was a continuation of the path between the buildings, which was covered with brick archways every 40 feet or so. I got the feeling it was a university, or city square.
As I was walking up the ramp, an old classmate I didn't know well (G) was walking in my direction. When I become lucid, sometimes DCs become hostile and approach me, facing me directly with an angry but somehow blank face. This happened in this case, but remembering how to deal with these, I embraced G. We talked for a second (don't remember exact dialogue) and I brought him to a corner where I transformed him into F. After she was there we talked for a second and I awoke.

Dream (DILD): I was in an unfamiliar classroom of young children, only many of them had faces resembling LOZ:Wind Waker characters (exaggerated nose represented by a pinkish ovoid shape). This was really strange to see on otherwise real children. Some of them also looked like skin-colored pikmin (instead of being green or red) with schoolclothes on. I walked out into the hallway and recognized the main kid from Stranger Things (with short hair). A male teacher was passing kidney stones in the hallway, only they were coming out as large diamond-shaped rocks/pebbles. Lots of screaming. I was only semi-lucid so I accepted the situation pretty much completely.

Note: Another brief waking for 5-10 minutes. Didn't note time.

Dream (WILD): This was the coolest WILD I've had yet, not for the content of the dream itself, but for the induction. I had woken from the past dream and been awake for only 5-10 minutes, and before I knew it I popped from 100% wakefulness to 100% sleep-awareness and lucidity. I found myself in a warmly lit cozy bedroom. The walls were woodpanneled or perhaps painted/wallpapered red. The bed was probably a queen or full, and was covered in an ornate crimson and gold comforter. The room was somewhat cluttered with bookshelves and stuff on the floor, and there were nightstands with antique lamps on either side of the bed. I walked to the door and something prevented me from opening it; fear? Instead I decided to push myself through a a mirror hanging on the wall. There was no resistance, I went straight through to another room in the house (memory of the other rooms is fuzzy now). I did this probably 3 or 4 times. I believe one of them was a bathroom, another a hallway, but the details are gone. Finally awoke.

Dream: Extremely long NL aboard a train. MII: Crawling through a kitchen section of the train which had open sections between cars; this was a combination kitchen-bar area, and above me was a plastic/rubber wine glass rack with holes for the base/stems to go in and be hung. Second-most iconic image: sitting in a large lobby area and conversing with victorian-era women and men. The whole dream had a faint blue light to it, like the RDJ Sherlock Holmes movies (that vibe). Wish I remembered more details, it was very in-depth.

Dream: Quick FA where I was looking out of the blinds next to my WL bed and it was bright blue outside. Heard F talking to me in a semi-demonic voice and awoke.

11-21
Frag: Woman in a long-sleeve yellow sweater, and another one in gray, standing next to each other.

Frag: Woman whose child is/is infected with a parasite. Quote something like "You would do it if it was your kid too".

Dream: In 9 kitchen, realize very quickly that I'm dreaming, finger through palm, "I'm dreaming". Walk out from behind kitchen counter and head out the back sliding glass door. On the way, grab a piece of toast remembering to try and taste things at every opportunity; it tasted good! Not too crunchy, not too soft.
It's daytime outside, and the only DC is my family's dog. I look around quickly and things are starting to lose visual stability. I fingerpalm and repeat "I'm dreaming" and things start to clear up. My family dog reminds me that I wanted to summon my own dog, so I do the turn around and expect method, as well as calling his name. It works! I pet him and he looks pretty much 100% accurate unlike I and other humans sometimes do (i.e. in mirrors).
I look around at the sky again and this enhances its visual clarity. I can see the moon up there, and a few clouds although it's mostly clear. While I was looking up, the yard and house below changed into a large field like the golf course behind my house.
I was near a tree so I decided to fly up. The process of flying itself actually stabilized the dream as I felt the sensation of wind in my hair and across my skin. I flew up, spinning lightly for fun (not rapidly so as to avoid changing scenes) until I was above all of the trees. I noticed an object that looked like pile, with a twig or branch and some other stuff, but was very low in detail, as were the trees now; their shapes were very basic geometrically as if I had gone too far away and their LOD was set to low, and when I approached them again, this didn't change back to high detail (for the trees). The stick was there and I picked it up and discarded it. I also saw a notable number of pieces of paper with writing on them, only one at first, but as I hovered around the tree, I saw three or four more. At first I had some kind of instinctive feeling that they were "real" and that their text wouldn't change, and actually believed and expected that, but ultimately each of them did. One of them looked like a movie ticket, another a restaurant receipt, and another maybe a government postcard (like voter registration).
After a bit up here I floated back to the ground and thought about who to summon. I picked up an advertisement postcard with a photo that reminded me of someone. I was going to try and summon them but while I was thinking I accidentally closed my dream eyes, and when I opened them again I was awake. Bummer.

Dream: Practicing with gun in yellow-lit hallway/range with unknown DC man. We each have both an M16 and a handgun. I'm playing with the sights (for some reason there's a telescoping sight? hard to explain). I feel a strong surge of hate/frustration/resentment towards the man for some reason. As he puts down the M16 and is drawing his handgun, I put down my handgun and grab the M16. We both start shooting at each other, but no sound or bullet wounds or feeling is accompanied, just our angry faces and the guns moving as if they're firing. I get frustrated that the gun won't shoot and am pressing the muzzle of the gun up against his face and deforming his face. This sight reminds me of something else and I wake up.

Dream: FA where I'm in bed. I feel intense vibrations and want to try and DEILD. I realize it's a dream quickly but don't do anything about it, and sort of DEILD into another FA. In this new FA, the TV is on and I think The Price Is Right or another game show is on. I pay attention to the feeling but ultimately don't do anything. F's voice starts to come from the next room and I wake up. Interesting lucid, just focusing on the sensations rather than doing crazy stuff the whole time.

Notes: Overall the first lucid lasted somewhere between 1-3 minutes I would say and was really enjoyable. Also, I hadn't really been practicing any day or night work, but have just been writing down dreams. I just woke up coincidentally early today (F got up to go to work) and I decided to tell myself 2-3 times "I will become lucid in my next dream". Very low-effort lucid!

Edit: Added second fragment.

Was talking to a woman telling me that if I bought a stuff animal I would become possessed by it. I then become lucid and tell her I won't and she tells me a lot of bad things will happen to me then. I started telling her look at all the things I can do right now. I levitated a few objects and showed her that everything around us can be manipulated. She seemed to have froze in shock. The dream scenario changes to my room and I lose lucidity

Date of Dream: TUE 20 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 487 - He's Resting In Peace

This was a very quick dream. I remember that as I was falling asleep, I would notice occasional white flashes. To the actual dream now, there was no sound, only sight. This dream played in third person mode. The scene took place in what seemed to be the base of the Heavens, on a hard cloud that living beings could stand on. The camera angle was from the side as it showed me on the far end and 18-Volt in his WarioWare Gold appearance, standing next to me. At the furthest end of the cloud was my mum’s deceased uncle Peter hovering holographically as he spoke to me but also took notice of 18-Volt. He looked completely contempt and happy with the environment he was in, suggesting that he was most certainly resting in peace. Peter's appearance was also completely accurate to how the family remembers him from real life. The scene went quickly and I soon woke up.



Dream No. 487
Dream Guide: 18-Volt
Lucid?: No



The occurrence of this dream is interesting and is rather prompt. My mum's uncle passed away on SUN 20 NOV - 2011 at 5:00 AM (AEDT), so TUE 20 NOV - 2018 is his 7 year death anniversary. On the 19th, mum and I went to visit the remaining family in Geelong, no correlation to the death anniversary though, we just wanted to go because we haven't been in a while. Peter was mentioned in conversation though and I said to them, "If I hear anything from him, I'll let you know". On the morning of the 20th, I had a WBTB in which I used the time to "speak to 18-Volt" (one of my reinforcement techniques). I told him that it was Peter's death anniversary today and also a little bit about who he was. I then asked 18-Volt if he could accompany me to see Peter and check in on him. I specifically asked him to be a mediator so that unauthorised deceased spirits wouldn't be able to cause havoc upon me. I finally said that I would allow a week for the task to be done as I wouldn't expect a dream to incubate straight away... SubC. proved me wrong.

It's after doing the general, non-lucid WBTB with 18-Volt that the dream occurred (after 9:15 AM) and rather than just seeing normal black after having my eyes shut for a while, there were also the white line flashes. It seems like the dream had gotten straight to the point and there was no nonsense in it; it was quick but vivid. I'm absolutely amazed how it occurred immediately as well as being successfully on the day of the death anniversary.

As mentioned in the recap, the only sense that seemed to be at play in the dream was sight. The dream had acknowledged my request for 18-Volt to be with me as that's the first thing the dream camera showed from the third person angle. He wasn't standing more to the front or the back, so he wasn't dominating or receding; he was right next to me, which to me, shows a united effort or a united bond and the feeling of "we're in this this together". There was some space in-between us though which suggests the sense of our own, individual identity and that despite the bond, we are still two different beings.

Whereas me and 18-Volt were standing on the ground in physical form, Peter was floating as a ghost. This shows the difference that I am from the land of the living and 18-Volt takes my side from thought. On the other hand, Peter has come from the land of the deceased and is now most definitely a spirit. It was just the three of us in this scene, there was no one else or nothing else that could cause any potential harm or distraction. In the position that Peter was floating in, it suggests to me that he has descended from the higher "souls of the deceased allowed only" part of Heaven to meet me and 18-Volt in a secret, uniform, public space designated to these kinds of interactions.

I find it absolutely heartwarming that Peter also seemed to acknowledge 18-Volt's presence as he would actually sometimes turn his gaze towards 18-Volt and move his mouth and gesture at him (remember, the dream only used sight, no sound). The task was recognised though as I was the main one that Peter interacted with. How Peter interacted and behaved in this dream tells me that he is completely satisfied with where he is and that he didn't have any particular messages for me to pass onto my family. The dream scene was very quick overall which maybe does suggest that Peter much prefers to rest and this was more like a reassurance thing so that I could indeed tell everyone that he was/is fine.

Date of Dream: SUN 18 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 486 - Separated Sections

Dream 486 A - Trapped In School
I don’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, my mum was in the car, driving me down one of the main roads. She said to me that she didn’t like how I was doing nothing at home all day, especially that I should be reading more. So, without my knowledge, she had enrolled me back into primary school (we seemed to call it “elementary – USA” school in this dream, so that’s what I will refer to it as).

As we got further and further on the drive, I actually felt somewhat angry at my mum for doing this. On High Street Road, I saw Dreamy WB up ahead, floating above the middle nature-strip in her Oktoberfest outfit. As soon as the car got close enough, I noticed her energy pulling the car in towards her (my mum couldn’t control the car anymore) and ending it up in a halt. When I got out, Dreamy WB gave me a pleasant smile but then I soon realised that she wasn’t the one who was going to help me.

She pointed behind me and so I turned around, noticing the dream guide that was actually going to be with me for the rest of the dream. The guy smiles himself and he fully, formally introduces himself, having an extremely warm vibe, making me feel comfortable with him immediately. He said he had an African appearance but he looked more like he would have been from Bangladesh or some similar location. He told me that his name was Parenthi, he was African, and that he was 60 years old. I then said to him “Ah, so if you had a real life counterpart, then he would be 30”. Dreamy WB then allowed my mum to head off again, with the addition of Parenthi invisibly sticking to me.

My recall is messy for the actual school scene. I walked around and I thought to myself, “who’s supposed to be my teacher?” as there was no formal introduction for me, I just landed myself on the school grounds apparently. One lady comes out of one of the classrooms and says that she is happy to have me in her class. I forgot what I said to her but she said it would be okay if I came in a few minutes and I got the impression that she was going to be a really good teacher and that I was really going to get along with her. I forgot what I did on the campus yards.

Later on, when I had finally entered the classroom, the teacher told me sit on one of the desks and then she started yelling at me. She said something about recess and wasting my time, once again, I have forgotten the whole conversation but now I perceived an extremely bad vibe from her. I then thought to myself, “Hang on a minute, when I started here, I was promised good things and now they have me trapped. I’ve got to get out of here”.

When the opportunity arose, I got up and ran out of the classroom. A couple of seconds later and the teacher realised, giving chase. I headed down the main footpath and towards the oval. Running across the grass now, I started calling out “Parenthi!”, although I realised it was getting harder and harder to do so each time”. Thank goodness he actually heard me. As I got to the middle of the oval, Parenthi faded into view, hovering in front of the childrens’ crossing and was waiting for me to come to him.

The teacher must have now realised what was going on as when I was just about to be in Parenthi’s reach, she opened her hand and I could actually see a holographic chain of energy, forcing me back towards her. No matter how fast I ran, it was hard to resist the chain and so I was pulled back. Just before the teacher could have her hands on me, the dream ended.

Dream 486 B - Unhappy Grandma
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, weirdly, the whole scene took place in my parents’ ensuite of our old house. My grandma from my dad’s side was mentioning how she didn’t like the fact that me and family weren’t visiting her enough. She did mention something about calling my dad. She was writing things down on a whiteboard but rather than to call my dad, she wrote “Call Parenthi”… So in the subsequent dream, Parenthi was still responsible for me? That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream 486 A
Dream Guide: Dreamy WB & Parenthi
Lucid?: No

Dream 486 B
Dream Guide: Parenthi
Lucid?: No



The way that Dreamy WB had introduced me to Parenthi seems like she may have been in some kind of relationship with him as she gained a slightly cheeky grin at the end of her smile. The only possibilities that I can think of for Parenthi is an older brother that doesn't exist for WB in real life, or Dreamy WB could've gained a boyfriend.

When Parenthi told me he was 60 and I said, "then your real life counterpart must be 30"; this was referring to a principle I had created that if the dream guide has a real life counterpart, then the dream guide is double the age of the counterpart although their appearance is the same. It's amazing how Dream 486 A spontaneously addressed this.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

2018-11-18 The first of the four dreams occurred during the night, in response/preparation to our dream workshop during the evening and the interpretation round this morning. They occurred in the wake of an Ayahuasca ceremony which took place on the Friday, which for me were heavily themed around (A) the practice of acting/doing what I felt like, risking to provoke and loose standing from my friends and (B) learning to see under and past the emotional pain – that is not staring myself blind at the stuff that is troubling me, without ignoring it either, but allowing myself to see the broader picture.

Dream 1: Sexual fantasy turns to voice from beyond, which culminates in a brutal murder and forgiveness of inner children.

I am lying in the ceremony room, where a couple of us have gone to bed. Nala and I are starting to make out and she starts inviting to sex. I am thrilled, yet I don’t quite do anything about it. Eventually she calls out to Mads something along the lines “Mads I am trying to have sex with Dennis, but he doesn’t really seem to want to go along.” I quickly respond “Yes, Yes I do” and then we start having sex, she guiding me inside her.
The dream then changes. Now there is some darkness and a female voice is calling out to me: “This is karmic, I will meet you in the summer.” I think to myself this pertains to a soulmate or girlfriend to come and I pull her out of the shadows, so that now I am staring at a doll face, that doesn’t seem to have any real facial features except the contours of the doll face and some long blonde hair. I ask her if she can provide additional details of herself, at which point I look at the doll face and see that her cheeks round up a bit. Other than that nothing else happens.
I then parcour jump down into the basement, meant for parking cars. There I meet two boys, one is about 4-5 years old another is maybe 7-9. The young boy tells the older “This is where you did me wrong (or: this is where you annihilated me)”. The older doesn’t seem to quite understand, but then the story continues.
Then a 12-13 year old guy appears – there is no question that he is a bully and he is much bigger, both taller, more muscular and fatter, he has a distinctly malicious energy about his person - while the two aforementioned remain hidden down behind a corner. The big guys is there to bully and the 7-9 year old then pushes the smaller one out from behind the corner, he seems to blush and turn red around the cheeks while doing so.
As the youngest run out the Bully picks him up. As he picks him up he turns into a small baby of 6 months or maybe even smaller as in still a fetus. As soon as he has picked him up he walks over to a railing and slams the head of the youngest down into this railing. Killing him.
The youngest looks like a doll and I say something along the lines of “Ah it was a doll”. However then the scenario shifts about and from above the doll is seen lying on the ground, and it is clear that the Bully has killed the youngest fetus/6months old cold blooded.
The 7-9 year old is devastated and I am now back in my body and participating in my dream. It is clear to me that my reason for being there is that I must forgive the 7-9 year old, that is the karmic stuff the woman was talking about. I sit down with the guy and we both cry like babies.
I don’t think I have ever been so wrecked by guilt, disgust, anger, sorrow and empathy for the guy. It is difficult containing all these ambivalent feelings and focus on forgiving him, yet this is what I sit down with him and do.
Dream Ends.

Dream 2: Walking through a fairgrounds in the rain.

I am outside in a fairgrounds of some description. The atmosphere is holiday-like and I am walking around by myself, though there are many people around. I am walking past playful attractions, like a bouncy castle where I wonder if it is OK I am wearing shoes. I also walk past loads of food outlets – notably fastfood ones, like Sunset Boulevard and McDonald’s – and contemplate buying food, though I don’t in the end.
It starts raining, severely. I get drenched in my brown Polo shirt, which I received from a friend of mine about 15-20 years ago. I wonder to myself how I will manage being all drenched and I take off my shoes and find that they are completely soaked in and filled with water as well.
Dream Ends:

Interlude: Before going into the dreams that followed later this day it is worth while noting a few events that transpired. The reason being that heavy emphasis was placed on sharing and interpreting these above dreams before the following 2 occurred. Thus the following two dreams can be both expressions of the same primarily activated themes, but also responses to the interpretations that were carried out.

So I interpreted the first dream as essentially carrying a theme, which is best summarised as the relationship between various inner children. The narrative transformations provide some indications as to what the theme is about, I think.
The dream starts out as a sexual fantasy – which is both day residue, as we fell asleep together and both of us apparently experienced fear and confusion as to what the connection was all about, as well as a pinpointing of a challenge I experience in intimate relations (the fear of reaching out, making the first move and committing to expose myself through expressing desire and attraction) – that then transforms to a karmic message “This is about karma, I will meet you in the summer”, which is a dialogue with a “faceless” woman (which carries on a theme of recent where a veiled woman has made herself known, as well a running into “the guy who wants to remain hidden” on the same night in a different dream), which then leads to a display of the killing of the youngest child (4-5 years old, turns into 6 months/fetus) through the brutal action of the 12-13 year old, but guided by the 7-9 year old.
The intense emotionality, the supernatural aspects as well as the residual impact leads me to suspect this as a prospective dream, indicating that a dawning realisation of the interrelation between various “sub-programmes”. I suspect this is related to the connection between my fear of intimacy (which was prevalent with Nala) and my fear of promoting myself.
The reason I suspect this was that when I was discussing some of the potential meanings of these boys of various ages with Mads on the way back from the weekend the 12 year old reminded me of a time when I had a crush on a girl from my class (Djana), though I never really dared to admit it. I could admit it to myself, but I was afraid of admitting to it publicly, which has been a recurring story ever since. This theme of public displays of affection was actually activated as an element of conscious reflection during the breakfast, where I engaged with Nala in an intimate fashion.
So it is as if at least 3 of these 4 inner children are known to me. (1) Fetus//6 months old – pertaining to being abandoned (in the womb through smoking, alcohol consumption and potentially a polluted motivation of wanting to keep a hold on my dad, indicating a dysfunctional relation already then and the traumatic experience at 1,5 months old that I have talked to my mother about) (2) the 4-5 year old (The memory of getting punished for reaching out for food, being shamed and made wrong, as confirmed by my cousin who was in the memory) (3) the 12-14 year old (associated with being afraid to publicly commit to attraction and already at this point in time experiencing difficulty in expressing sexual desire or making the first moves. The 4th (the 7-8 year old) is so far unknown to me (it is the period of my life where I first discovered computer gaming, is the first that springs to mind).
In any case the notion around Djana becomes present in one of the following dreams.

Dream 3: How can one loose a space ship, well apparently it is because we forget how to look at the stars at night.

There is a vista of a city skyline in bright sunlight. I am overlooking this from the water, a river I think. Then a portal opens and a version of the starship Enterprise appears. Then another and another I think of up to 6 or 7 appear. They are all slightly different, with different details around particular the engines, but it is important and it is made known to me that these differences matter, as it is a proof that I am not “just seeing things”.
Then an alarm is sounded, or it is made known that we have lost a starship. There is a meeting of various generals from all over the world. Then a question is posed “How is it even spotted when it is hanging out there in the outskirts of the solar system in the darkness?” and an immediate, but also embarrassing answer (because it is so obvious) is posed. “Our allies (a different species) can walk in space and so can easily see spaceships in the darkness”. Then the Iranian general walks out to observe the stars and train his vision, but also do something of some description to retrieve the starship.
Dream Ends:

Dream 4: At a party, going home early to meet Djana, but is instead greeted by 6-7 aliens looking for Hude Dant – which I recognise as an obvious allusion to Hugh Grant.

I am out partying with my friends. I decide to rather quickly return home and here I hope that I will find Djana at home. When I return I notice a small car parking on the other side of the road. It is driven by a woman – who is sitting in shadows and whom I have an awkward feeling about – we have a history and she is somehow connected to picking up Djana or someone else. I walk in and am pleased to find that the doors are open and that there is a light on. I walk in and down to the basement, but can’t find Djana. Instead I find my laptop lying on the sofa.
Then a whole bunch of people walk in. I immediately know that they are aliens disguised as humans and that they are somehow connected with the previous spaceships (though I have no explicit memory of the previous dream, in this dream). There are 3-5 of them in the room and they are looking for Hude (or Lube) Dant, but I also know that this is a poor way to cover up that they are looking for Hugh Grant.
There is a scenario shift to a driving car with 2 aliens in it, where one has disguised itself as a Dane and another as a Swede. There is a statement that I should keep away from Copenhagen and that there is something funny about this disguised Dane speaking Danish. It is all connected to a greater mission of sorts.
Dream Ends:

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation – wake/dream visuals/visions

Morning of November 18, 2018. Sunday.

Dream #: 18,962-02. Reading time: 2 min 42 sec. Readability score: 53.



One would think that after over fifty years, the same dreaming and waking processes in the same order and with the same foundational autosymbolism would trigger more viable threads of conscious self identity and recognition beyond subliminal RAS mediation than what occurs at certain stages of the sleep cycle. In this particular case though, my subliminal recognition of the dream state resulted in me resetting it, as had often happened before. My dream was mainly from the influence of a movie, “What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice?” (1969), that Zsuzsanna and I watched last night, despite it being of the typical transition through the nexus, which in this case, is a supposedly hidden room rather than, for example, a porch.

The focus revolves around someone I had supposedly killed, a younger male, possibly accidentally. (The backstory, again based on the movie, is unclear). The urban location is unfamiliar and unknown. The person’s remains are under a commercial business building near a corner. I had somehow done this even though I was not involved in the construction of the building. The Sleeper (the “dead” person) transmutes into a cheerful emerging consciousness simulacrum in the last scene before the offset dream, without my dream self finding it unusual.

There are many typical scenes of evading the authorities, one of them (the preconscious simulacrum) in particular. The emerging consciousness travels with me after someone finds their remains. The building is already being taken down during this time. (In the movie, the remains were under pine trees.) He (the activated Sleeper aka previously “killed” character) helps me find a secret panel in the wall of a nearby building, in a hall. I first try to phase into the wall (as with many past dreams in subliminal, liminal, and lucid manipulation of the dream state). Instead, a panel opens, and we step into a supposedly hidden area. I reason that going deeper into the area will result in us being less likely to be found as well as being farther from the entrance point (the same “logic” as in hundreds of previous dreams of the same type). (This scenario, naturally becoming the most vivid segment of my dream, replaces the typical porch-as-nexus event, in correlation with enigmatic space as the association between dreaming and waking. It includes “puzzles,” associations with detectives, ambiguity relating to where my real physical body is, and so on. Of course, it is not possible to “hide” from the natural preconscious transition.)

However, upon walking into another area, the avatar tells me that “this is his office,” meaning the office of the police sergeant that had been after me. I notice how it looks like an ordinary office and is not hidden from public access on one side, finding it annoying that there is not much prospect for a genuinely hidden room. The police sergeant eventually comes in. I reset my dream, and it becomes a scenario where the police sergeant is the one responsible for the “death.” He is supposedly a vampire, which I tell a few people - and I have film footage to prove it.

I then liminally reset my dream into an offset scenario of the typical vestibular system correlation process. I am helping someone, though only at times, who is in a wheelchair, as we descend an unlikely staircase built of various big stones in an outdoor rural area adjacent to a mountain. (In other cases, I am consciously aware of using this process to sustain or vivify a dream.) We have a little trouble, but we cheerfully descend several steps without incident, even though some of them are two to three feet high. He seems to find it amusing and mostly maneuvers his wheelchair on his own. There is no preconscious simulacrum at this point, only the emerging consciousness (as the otherwise typical vestibular system avatar) in the wheelchair. (This stems from both “What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice?” and the new “The Flash” television series, where characters are in wheelchairs without needing to be as a part of their “disguise.”)

---

Ok.... So it's been a week or two since I wrote my last lucid dream on here. Since then I have been focusing on dream awareness, recall and vividness. I have been keeping a physical dream journal where I write notes about my dreams. And ONLY notes. Maybe only 2 sentences per dream. However I think my dreams through in detail after each dream. My dreams have gotten more vivid these last couple of weeks, so that's a good thing, since I think vividness will lead to better awareness, which then will lead to one self easier recognizing the dream state.
On to the dreams!!! And by the way, I'm not gonna write then content of the dreams, only the details on how I got lucid and stabilized and so on.

Well first dream was weird. I was watching something on my I pad in bed. I got emmersed in the content of the thing I was watching, and suddenly the content of the film was my reality. I couldn't feel the body I was just in. This weird feeling made me reality check, and I got lucid. I don't know how I reality checked, since I didn't have a body... Well I got lucid, and tried to control one of the characters in the movie I was watching. THE INSTANT a thought popped into my mind, the male character in the dream acted out the thought. Weird feeling, but I kept going. I got too emersed in the dream content and lost lucidity.... The second I lost lucidity I woke up...
Interesting dream. I have never never NOT had a body while still being lucid. Well I need figure out how to stay in the dream and keep lucidity. In the past I kinda madenit a habit to just flow with the dream, however now it seems I lose lucidity when doing so, because I tend to get too emersed in the dream content. I went back to sleep with the intention of forcing a false awakening when I feel like I'm about to wake up. This has, in the past, helped me stay in the dream instead of waking up.


Next dream!!!
I can't remember the dream it self, however I remember the feeling of being just about to wake up. The second I felt that feeling, I forced a false awakening!!! (The way I do this is as following. Just before waking up from the dream, I tend to get one certain feeling. It kinda feels like I'm in the dream world, but I can vaguely feel my real body in my bed. Normally this indicates that the dream in unstable, and I'm about to wake up. In the past I have ALWAYS woken up after this feeling, so I wanted to figure out a solution to this. I came up with forcing a FA!! And for me, it works wonders!! When getting the feeling of waking up , I instantly sit up in my bed. I see it like forcing my self to instantly wake up. This night I kinda joltet myself awake) I woke up in my bed. RCed, and as always I was still in a dream!!! Success!!!!! The content of the dream is irrelevant. But they say I woke up was not. Yet again I got too emersed in the dream content, and lost lucidity and instantly woke up.

SUCCESS!!!! The most important thing for me was that I got my old technique of forcing an FA to work!!!! I'll keep working on that technique and I'll keep notes of how I'm doing.

Notes.
The lucid dreams where in the timeframe 04:00-07:00.
I drank applecider a couple hours before going to sleep.

Date of Dream: SAT 17 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 485 - Separated Sections

Dream 485 A - Groundhog Graduation
I don’t remember how the dream started. From where I do remember, it was year twelve event again. It was the last day of school and so the year level were going to be having their graduation celebrations. The morning was spent in the library and while everyone had to read sort sort of long script and remember the entirety of it. I was given a book by SD'M and it had suggestions of cool stuff to do and hobbies to get up to over the Christmas Holidays… I think I got the better end of the deal. At the end of the session, Ms L told everyone that they would only have a 10 minute break and had to be back in the library on time.

During the break, I went into to one of the classrooms to attempt to say farewell to a few of the teachers. Ms Ta. noticed me and started yelling at me. I then pointed to the back of the room and said “What about everyone else that came in?! You’re not getting angry at them!”. She then answered, “I know but you just barged in through the door without knocking and you’ve been running around everywhere in here”… I clearly don’t remember any fast-paced movement.

I then went to the toilets and I found myself mistakenly to be in the men’s toilets. I tried to get out as quick as possible but just I was outside the doorway, I was really badly verbally bullied by a large group of boys and some girls. Within the group was an old granny that started yelling at everyone in defence. The granny and I actually got along with each other and spoke well.

Then dream then went back into the library and now the year level of girls was doing further celebration preparation. Everyone was seated at the main side of the library in a big circle and the guest speaker was CW, supported by her mum RW. CW was telling us what her graduation celebrations were like a few years ago. That’s all I can remember for this dream.

Dream 485 B - Mulgrave's Special Gust (Lucid Dream 29)
In the first scene, I was on the oval which was next to the local primary school, just on the other side of the linking footpath. It seemed to be dusk when this scene was playing. I was coaching 18-Volt’s fourth grade teacher on how to provide effective and meaningful discipline to her students. She wasn’t physically in the scene though, rather I seemed to be shouting to the sky, also figuring that she could see any movement I did on the oval.

I seemed to act somewhat like Jo Frost in this scene. I also spoke a lot but I have forgotten everything I said, I’ll recap what I can. The first thing I told this teacher was that a 15 minute timeout was the most ideal length. I then said, “If the timeout is too short and the student doesn’t have enough time to think, then how on Earth does the student know what they did wrong?”. I also stated to the teacher that she needed to tell the student what they did wrong.

The next bit reminds me of a combination of the Supernanny naughty corner and stay in bed technique. I said to her, “For the first time the student exits timeout, say to them, you’re in timeout, the second time, say to them, timeout, and when you take them back the third time, you say nothing”. The next I said was “And whatever you do, don’t make them stay back after school for one and a half hours just to waste their time, that’s the worst thing you could do”.

After that, I now saw a very feint hologram of all the school students floating around the oval (in-fact you almost couldn’t see them at all). After looking at them for a while, I yelled out “Now if I can demonstrate on one of your students, anyone…?”, hoping that someone would voluntarily come to me. Indeed, a hologram of 18-Volt came up to me in his Game and Wario cover art appearance and he was slightly more visible then everyone else although he was still fairly feint. I then spoke to him as if I was placing him into timeout but he kept a straight face as he knew I was only demonstrating. This marked the end of the first scene.

For the second scene, I was still in the local area but was lower down, closer to the shopping centre, walking up the footpath beside the main road. I was constantly think about 18-Volt and I said to myself “Herr, I wanna see if I can become lucid in this dream”. My eyes were now darting everywhere as I headed up the street, trying to read every single piece of writing I came across. Eventually, a bus came up the road and I was reading the advertisements on the back of it… This text is what made me become lucid. I then decided I wanted to do another reality check to confirm my lucidity and it was confirmed when I read another piece of text, I forgot what the text was though.

I was then at my house, in the front room with a roll of laminated paper. At the end of the roll was a picture of 18-Volt as he would appear in WarioWare Gold. I got onto the floor, lay down next to the roll and cuddled with it. My mum then walked in and giving me a strange look while she points to the roll, asks me “who’s that?”. For a moment I felt like panicking but I immediately sat myself up, pointed to his picture on the roll and said “That’s my dream guide, 18-Volt, would you like to meet him?”. My mum was actually alright in this dream and she said yes. She then went to sit on the couch while waiting for me to get him.

I went to stand just outside the front room and then I seemed to call for 18-Volt very quietly. At some points, I almost couldn’t hear myself and so I called slightly louder. It worked this time, as I was looking across the whole main part of the house, I saw 18-Volt emerging from my bedroom. He was of the same appearance as on the roll of laminated paper. Compared to the real life game, he was slightly darker, including the tone of green on his clothing, his teeth were more gritted than they were in-game and he had more of a frown as his natural disposition.

His graphics were the same as in-game though, completely cartoony… Although he looked real enough to my lucid awareness. Once again, I actually found the fact scary that he was slowly coming towards me, avoiding all the furniture in his path as if he actually knew the route of the house. I stood there paralysed, feeling nervous but at the same time excited, my heart racing as I thought, “I can’t believe this is actually happening”. I managed to ease up when he was right in front of me though. As 18-Volt stood in-front of me, he spread his arms out and when I got right up to him, he gave me a ginormous hug. He also now had a more accurate facial expression, precisely matching all facial features and their positions in WarioWare Gold, he wasn’t frowning as much.

Once he released me, I followed behind him into the front room. He then walked over to my mum on the couch and bent down to shake her hand. My mum was on the left side of the couch and 18-Volt seated himself right side of it, closest to the door. I then came and sat in-between them, feeling really happy and at peace that my mum was actually getting along with a dream guide this time. After a while of enjoying both my mum’s and 18-Volt’s company, my mum said “I’ll leave you two to it” as she then got up and left.

I then thought about what I wanted to do while I had 18-Volt and so got up off the couch. He then got up off the couch as well and followed me back out the door and into the dining room. At first, I thought I would ask him to help me with elevator exposure again but then I said, “There actually aren’t any elevators in the house...”, so then I asked him to help me with the bathroom fan. As we walked over, we held each other in a hugging position, moving our legs in a certain sequence so we wouldn’t trip over.

I ended up opening the door to the toilet room, with 18-Volt standing and watching in the background as I flicked one of the switches. It was extremely loud and the wrong sound, so I took no hesitation in switching it off again immediately. After summoning multiple switches and none doing the right thing, being too loud or too quiet, 18-Volt came up to me and told me to try the bathroom instead. He then said he was going to leave me to fiddle around in there for a while and then he completely walked off.

It felt like almost half an hour when 18-Volt came back and he asked me how I went with whatever I was doing before. I told him and described what had happened. We kept having a friendly chat for a while, then he gave me a quick pat on the back. He then went a step further and gave me another hug. As 18-Volt was gently embracing me, I proceeded to wake up, being satisfied with the outcome of this dream.



Dream 485 A
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Dream 485 B
Dream Guide: 18-Volt
Lucid?: Yes

Date of Dream: FRI 16 NOV - 2018



Dream No. 484 - A Shocking Letter

I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I was in this completely unknown suburb. I was walking down the street and part way along, I began to felt tired. I decided I wanted to be carried by a dream guide, so I stopped along the way, looked up in the sky and tried calling for 18-Volt and Dreamy WB, no one came. I then yelled out to the dream, “You can even give me Murray if you want!”, still, nothing happened.

Then this piece of paper came falling out of the sky and landed in my hands. I opened it up and it was a typed letter. I couldn’t understand a lot of it as it had a lot of gibberish in it but I did get the gist of this letter. It was the dream telling me that I wasn’t allowed to have any dream guides and this for me was distressing and upsetting. I didn’t react too badly though and rather, I continued to walk the rest of the way by myself. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream No. 484
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No