non-lucid

I dreamed I met some old friends in a parking lot at the Target near my town. We talked briefly about Toys-R-Us going out of business.

...

I had been given a large tin of Yu-Gi-Oh cards for my birthday. I remember they came disorganized inside the tin in booster packs. The scene became like one of those youtube style unboxing/pack opening videos where I was opening the cards and looking through them talking about each one and my feelings on it and how it was useful in the metagame. I recall finding a card that looked like a blue-eyes-white dragon but looking at the stats of the card and it was called simply "Dragon" and had lower power stats and being somewhat disappointed.

...

Several dreams from the past few nights following a somewhat consistent story line. The first one had to do with my old friend J. We were playing Halo (or something very similar) in a Mesh format. J's character had red and gold armor and mine had black armor and these V-shaped visors running down his helmet. We were fighting to control a dark and foggy room (OTD, not any map from the game, at least that I could remember) full of debris and dead enemies. Other players would continuously spawn and run into the room trying to attack us. They were a challenge, but not too much for us working together.

Manei appeared into the dream. Her character had tawny brown armor and a bright green/cyan blue helmet visor. She helped us fight as the enemies got more skilled, numerous and coordinated. As we continued fighting, J asked who this was and what she was doing. I started explaining the concept of dream guides and lucid dreaming to him, but he didn't understand it. Neither did I grasp the concept that I was dreaming.

-+-

The dream would continue later on. On one of the following nights, I would find out that that scene was a critical mission I had undertaken to retrive some data from the enemy base and then wait for extraction and then wait for someone to extract me. I was at the secret resistance base on a desert planet. It somewhat reminded me of Mos Eisely save for the whole city was a military and logistics center with ships coming and going and people and machinery moving around ordinance and repairing vehicles.

A large ship shadowed over the two suns. It looked like the UNSC Infinity from the Halo games and was being escorted by some X-wings and Y-wings. Some of them landed near me and the pilots started getting out. For some reason all of the pilots had their hair dyed bright green and styled in Afros or ridiculously tall Flat-Tops. One of the pilots looked like Kanan from Star Wars Rebels and had the craziest hair, apparently he was the leader of the squadron.

Marcus (in robot ball thingy form) flew down from the ship and came to speak to me. He said that this was the flagship of our fleet that had come back from getting repairs at a hidden shipyard and we were ready to launch a major attack against the evil empire. A shuttle came down to pick me up and lifted me into the hangar of the Infinity. The ship flew into orbit and met up with some other ships. Some ships were just sort of random but the dream seemed to be pulling from a variety of science fiction franchises. Specifically one ship was (or strongly resembled) the Asari dreadnought from the mass effect series.

...

I was called upon to lead one of the attacks in our new campaign with the flagship. The attack plan called for me to take a lone fighter to an enemy shipyard and disable the harbor guns so the fleet could attack and hopefully capture some of the ships the enemy was building. The enemy shipyard was a huge structure tens of kilometers long built out of a large asteroid. It was comprised of platforms and structures haphazardly added over time and it had a black and red color scheme. I started flying around the structure with my fighter. Security troopers in space suits came out and tried firing on my fighter but they were easy to shoot down.

The big guns turned out to be heavily armored and couldn't be damaged by my fighter's weapons and I eventually managed to fire some missiles into the mechanisms controlling the rotation of the large guns on the station which locked their orientation. I then informed Marcus that the guns were unable to move and he could jump his fleet in and start the attack so long as he stayed out of their positions. I started to flee as the station came under heavy fire from the allied ships.

-+-

Two of my original characters were fighting in the hallway of my old high school. One had a large sword and the other had zero friction states. The one with the sword used a future-predicting ability to determine if he could win the fight and he was told that out of 4 million possibilities he could only lose 13 of them. Then his sword got stuck in the zero friction skates, and the character with the sword was informed that this was one of the 13 possibilities where he lost and that it was just bad luck.

Both characters wound up killing each other at the same time. Both of their dead bodies turned into dust and then reassembled fully healed. The character with he sword turned out to be the winner because of a random quantum event that had made an extremely likely possibility that the other character could have won possible and in theory he should have won because he had secured more possible avenues of victory.

-+-

I bought an apartment in a location similar to my grandmother's old apartment. I headed inside to see what my new digs were like to find the layout similar to her apartment, only where the bedroom was there was a stairwell that wasn't there IRL. I followed it downstairs (into what would have been the basement) which contained a library and a large living room with a small bathroom off to the side and another set of stairs which led further down. These led through a locked door (like an exterior door to a house) which let out in an underground street with shops along both sides.

-+-

I was with my mother sitting outside the grocery store in my town. The parking lot had been replaced with a large shallow pond full of Koi fish. Our cats were swimming through the water attempting to catch the Koi while my mother and I talked, laughed at the antics with our wet cats and ate snacks from a bag of groceries we had bought.

-+-

Something to do with witnessing a solar eclipse from a park near my neighborhood during the wintertime. The sun was in the southern portion of the sky rather than the east or west and the moon was many times bigger than the sun. The strange thing that I remember was that the moon moved in front of the sun and then stopped briefly, then continued moving; far faster than the moon would normally move.

I remember bits of a dream where I was exploring a multiplayer pvp map of a game I don't recognize. I went to the top floor of the building and snuck into a secret area through some vents. It had a greater purpose in singleplayer mode, but in multiplayer it didn't do much. I found myself in an office with a computer and a doomsday laser. I was trying to reach around to the computer but when I touched the floor alarms sounded. I hid and waited for the guards to show up. After a bit only 1 guy came in, and he seemed to be the evil boss you'd normally encounter when playing this. He didn't see me. He went to his computer and readied the laser. Evidently this laser would have the power to level buildings and he was ready to use it against me. I found myself with a rocket launcher. I pointed it at a router and walked through the plan in my head. First I'd shoot the router to stop any wireless activity, then I'd shoot the computer tower, and then the laser.

Now the next two dreams may be mixed a bit. They were similar dreams and I had them one after the other.

I woke up at 5am to my alarm and attempted FILD to no success. I rolled over and played around with my imagination. I couldn't see anything, but I imagined I was holding onto a balloon. As the balloon rose and flew in the wind, so did I. Before I knew it I was in a dream with the balloon above. I then got on top of the balloon and used it to fly circles around the area I was in. After a moment I realized I actually had transitioned into a dream, so I checked my palms and found they had detail. I looked around at the area and saw I was in a neighborhood with many trees. I descended down to the nearest house I could find and willed the inside to look like my dream hub. I walked inside, turned to my right to enter the living room/main area of the hub. I was disappointed with what I saw. Instead of what should have been I only saw one sad looking chair, a flimsy desk, and a few scattered items I didn't pay much attention to. I walked through the living room and into what would be a dining room in the original location. I found myself in the living room of my current house instead. I then decided I would spawn in my DG. I started talking to her. "Sarah, I know you're behind me. I am going to turn around and you'll be with me." I turned around...and she wasn't there.
I then went back through the pitiful living room and went upstairs hoping to see the upstairs from my old house that the dream hub is based on. I turned the corner and just saw the current house's second floor. I went to my room and checked my computer out of curiosity. I could read it, but it was all dark with . It looked almost like an inverted effect. I quickly gave up on that and went back downstairs and outside. I woke up due to frustration with my dream control.

I turned over and went back to sleep. My breathing rate was far too high to be relaxed so I had to pace myself and remind myself I'm dreaming every couple of moments until I fell back sleep.
I was in the dream hub again, but it still didn't appear correctly. I again went outside to try some other things. I told myself "This is a dream. This is MY dream. I am in control. I can do whatever I want." After being unable to conjure fire from my fingers I then tried doing things that would be easier to accomplish that I could build upon to give myself control. I broke my finger backwards and felt it a bit but was able to quickly subdue the pain. I used that to tell myself the dream wasn't real and that I was in control. I was about to try some other measure of dream control until two ladies drive up to the house in separate cars. One car looked like a classic jaguar and the other a classic corvette. Both women were stunning and enticing. The corvette woman was very blunt that it was their mission to capture me and take me to their company. I declined the offer. She then took off and left. The other woman told me seductively that she knew what I really wanted. She told me to hop into her car and she'd take me somewhere special. I stupidly went along with it. As we arrived at our destination I asked if she knew how to talk to my subconscious. I had some questions I really wanted to ask of my inner self. She looked at me like I was crazy. She had no clue what I was talking about. She then took my into the building and I quickly realized I had been duped. I let my instincts take over and got myself trapped at this institute that they had intended to take me to before. I had enough of the situation and woke up later due to my 7am alarm.

So for the record the dream hub is still in the planning phase at this stage. I have been thinking of the idea for a year or two. I know what it should look like. I originally intended it to be a wonderland for a tulpa I was working on. Her name was Sarah. I'd still kind of like to succeed with tulpamancy, but it requires so much work. I have tried with tulpamancy for almost as long as I have with lucid dreaming and haven't had much success. I have had seasons of giving up tulpamancy altogether and other seasons of trying real hard to accomplish my goals. I think my main roadblock is that I want to dig straight into the most difficult parts at the start and am disheartened when I don't see results. I want to see a visually imposed tulpa and psychically hear her. I don't trust my mindvoice. It isn't very loud to begin with so a voice in my head wouldn't be much different as far as I know. Anyway, the wonderland started as just the living room in my old house. The living room had a fireplace and was connected to the dining room of the house. The living room was accessible straight from the front entrance. You would walk in and see stairs to the left going to the second floor. In front would be a mirror on a door that lead down a hallway that had the door to the basement. If you kept walking you'd find yourself in the kitchen.
If you went right from the front entrance you'd see the living room. I picture that in the far right end you'd see a large corner couch with an old T.V standing in front of it. If you can picture a television like this one from fallout, but the monitor is on a simple stand and has speakers on either side of the screen built into it. The screen you see would also be HD. To it's left would be a desk with a mirror for Sarah. To the left of that and in the corner would be a queen size bed. Across the room would be a computer desk with 3 monitors and a VR setup, because I imagine Sarah as a gamer. To it's left would be the fireplace. The fire would be lit and there would be two large red chairs next to each other facing the fireplace with a small table in between that has two fresh hot chocolate mugs ready. As I grew the home from a simple wonderland I pictured the basement as a sort of dream hub. Ideally most dreams I have would take place at this house somewhere. Any time I try teleporting and fail due to not thinking a location fast enough, etc, I'd like to return here. Any time I would cause myself to wake up early I'd like to return here instead.

The basement would take on an appearance very similar to the one from the old house. You'd go down the stairs, and on your right would be a door with a short staircase that leads to the exit through some large doors, as it used to be a shelter entered via that spot. To the right of that door was a small useless hiding area in case of storm. To the left and across the way would normally be a stack of papers and an old boiler, but in my dreams and as part of the dream hub instead there would be an additional room that would be located here. As you walk through the hallway and into this new room you'd notice it is all white. You stand on a platform with only a void below. There are many doors surrounded my a central console. Central console is just a glowing white orb, kinda like this but not. The doors again are just standard wood with glowing white inside. As I touch the central console I would create a new permanent realm in one of the doorways. I could then just walk through the doorway of my choosing, through a portal into a world of my creation. The world may have specific rules set upon creation. Some places may not have gravity, some may allow murder, etc. For the most part these realms would pause when I leave and start again when I return. If at any time I forget the realms they should have a name above the doorways and the central console can always give me the details on the portal at any time.

Also as a note the entire house would be located on a cloud. If I wanted to I could just go outside, sit on a porch swing and enjoy the breeze. I could also fly out and through the clouds and see where it takes me.

Non-dream stuff - only a couple of non-lucid fragments, have vague memories of more but can't put them to words.

---

Fragment 1:
Remember being at a rustic village or inner area of a castle with my partner. It was a popular tourist attraction in the dream's context and it was day time.

We walked a path until we were at a place with shops, and one shop we stopped by was a wine shop. They showed us some special packs we could buy, and for whatever reason we were interested. The wine "bottles" were odd though, because they were the shape of a drinking flask, even though they were still made of glass. They even had paper labels like normal bottles.

Some of the wines were unusual; one was made from peas. I remember the lady at the counter asking if we wanted other specific ones like "homosexual (something?)" wine. Most of the wines made no sense, even in the dream. We still ended up buying 2 packs of 9 flask bottles each...

Fragment 2:
Was playing some sort of old real-time-strategy game. Remember getting annoyed by the fact that some interactions simply didn't work at all like expected.

Non-dream stuff - woke up at around 10:45 and started writing this about half an hour later. Several non-lucid dreams;

---

Dream sequence 1:
I was in a game, but it was a mix of reality and World of Warcraft. I was playing with one of my siblings I think and the area was like a place called Dire Maul (DM) in the game; it is an ancient elven structure or city and the most prominent feature is a Colosseum-like area. "Me" was level 57 and the dream's context was set in the original version of the game where the level limit was 60.

We were at this place to kill some generic enemies, though in the actual game there would have been ogres here. But where we were at now there were vampires. I remember something about a quest to get infected by vampirism (this started to blend a bit with ES Oblivion) and I did by going into a dark hallway (the halls are very large in DM) and then left the area and went outside.

I approached an exit to the area and saw a dead Wyvern past the exit archway, and I suddenly felt very wary of danger, and continued approaching this archway, then going through it and looking around carefully. The area on the other side was very open but it was like it hadn't been designed yet by the developers, as there was some jungle but generally it was very bare and flat, which it shouldn't have been. There was a Wyvern master and a Gryphon master, for Horde/Alliance factions respectively. There were some shop stands under a small covered area and they were selling some crafting recipes. They looked cheap and I knew they had limited availability so I bought some.

Some sort of transition after looking at a preview item which was like a blue t-shirt with white stripes on the collar.

Dream sequence 2:
I remember walking down a pavement, alongside a road, sloping down. I was near a palace which I could see through metal fencing. I remember seeing Corinthian pillars with gold leafed tops. I was going to go in through the front, but then remembered I was carrying something for a dinner or party at the palace, so I thought I best use a servant's access lest someone complain at me for not using it. I did not feel like I was a servant, but a guest bringing something to add.

I found the access further down the road and went in. Someone from the palace was here to greet me but otherwise there was a long queue over some zig-zagging ramp upward. I went past people, as I didn't have to be in this queue, but I noticed there was rubbish on the floor and I suggested to the person that came to greet me that I might pick up the trash and they said "no no don't bother" or something. It did bother me, as I hate seeing litter.

Then maybe there was some sort of transition but now I could see a big climbing rope ladder thing, made of green plastic. It went up many many stories in height. I'd say somewhere between 6 and 8 and I started climbing it. At the top was a flat segment that then went into a tower thing. I went in there I think.

Now there were more stairs and some more people from the palace were here to greet me, I remember an old black man with a nice smile. The stairs were not normal, neither was the inside of this tower. Everything was square. The steps were massively wide and made of thin wood, almost like they were made of veneered multi-layer plywood. I remember it was a bit of an effort to climb them and then I reached a final step, there were no more steps but the tower still went up. I looked at one of the people from the palace who was still near the entrance and they did something and suddenly the steps were moving, reorganising themselves into more climbing.

Dream fragment 3:
An instant transition, I think.

Some like a false awakening. It was dark and I was in our real bathroom, though things looked a bit off. I was naked, which matches the way I sleep, but I remember noticing I had two extra genital organs. I was either sitting on the edge of the tub or in it. For some reason I started playing with myself until I reached a climax though I did not feel any real excitement doing any of it, more just curiosity about the extra organs.

I remember putting on clothes for some reason before leaving the bathroom and then going back into bed.

There was another dream after this, though I don't remember it anymore because of the time its taken to write all of these... I did do reality checks after I actually woke up while doing regular morning stuff before sitting down to write.

---

Some notes:

• The first dream is very typical and it's the kind of dream where I find it really difficult to notice things as being "odd" because of the context. Everything that's "odd" just feels normal, since it's a game.
• I'm not really certain what happened with my sibling in that first dream, as I didn't see them again after the first part.
• I've forgotten a lot of details about the both the first and second dream, but I remember that it was day-time apart from inside some sections in the first dream which were in the large, dark, hallways of DM, which were unlit in the dream.
• I don't think I've ever had vampires in appear in a dream context before.
• In the second dream, I think outside was sunny, but the road I walked down initially was covered by tree canopy, though I don't remember seeing the trees.
• The setting of this second dream was somewhere like my native country, but I'm not sure that I felt I was anywhere specific in the world. The scenes were all dream-generated, anyway.
• I think what I was carrying was a large object though I honestly don't remember what it was. Maybe a large vegetable like a pumpkin or a giant turnip.
• The third dream was quite unusual, as I rarely have false awakening dreams and the sexual side of it was unexpected.
• Additionally, I did have some coffee last night before bed. A very weak coffee, which seems to help me with dreaming, and doesn't really make me not be sleepy anyway. Coffee doesn't generally make me feel "awake" in a way that is opposite to sleepiness, it simply makes me feel somewhat more focused.

...are pretty much what has been constituting my dream recall lately. Haven't been lucid in a while. :/ My watch trick stopped working ever since I started using an analog watch, for whatever reason, and I haven't found another reality check that works for me.

My watch (a G-Shock) actually has a digital component, too, but it's kinda dim and hard to see so maybe that's why it hasn't worked?

That being said, last night's dream was mildly interesting.

I was flying with someone else (don't remember who) into a run-down, abandoned building in a city. There was a bat hanging from one of the rafters! And everything was dyed with this strange blue light.

Cool stuff, even if not lucid!

Two dreams

☆ My dad, brother and my foster-brother said that men are better than women on everything. My sister and I got very upset but didn’t had a chance to tell them off. So I poked my brother with a stick in his stomach and yelled: ”Too bad it wasn’t a harpoon!” Everybody laughed and my sister told me I had a sassy comeback as always. Then we tried to do everything to prove the guys wrong.


☆ I was in Italy, just paying a visit to my old school there from when I studied abroad. I had a looong conversation with the principle who asked me questions... strangly in english but I liked it. We had a really good time. She asked me what I wanted to do with my life and I was thinking really hard to come up with a good answer.
The principle wanted me to come back, but not sure how tho. She was talking and talking and talking. I realized that I no longer really knew where I was. Wasn’t it a part of my own hometown just right outside the window? I wanted to end the conversation but principle seemed so determinded to keep talking about things I could do if I wanted to stay there, Which I didn’t want.
She wanted me to dye my hair blonde but I didn’t want that. She took me outside to a balcoony and asked me if there were any guys I would like to date but as soon as I looked. I only saw guys that I already knew. Some even from kindergarden. I refused and told her that I already knew these guys and didn’t want anything to do with them. She became very angry and headed inside again. It was time for her to have a lesson. So I decided to run with my old friend’s younger brother, who I never really spoke to.
We quickly ran away from the school and tried to get to a bus stop. Suddenly I could hear the principle’s vocie behind me. She was furious!
I wasn’t far from the bus stop when I stopped running and looked back. The young brother was gone but the principal stood there instead, looking at me with sadness in her eyes. First I thought she was going to beg me not to go but what she told me made me go insane. The younger brother was hit by a bus... the very same bus we were supposed to take to get away from this place. I ran away from the bus stop and kept going until I was hit myself by a car.

Suddenly spirits appeared on the streets, singing and laughing. But not I, because I cried. I covered my face with the hands and cried as loudly as I could. Until I heard my mother’s voice. She wanted someone to hold the dogs’ leashes and take them to a field. I gladly took the dogs over there and found three presents for each pet. The cat wasn’t there tho. I opened the first gift. It was a perfume bottle... MY perfume. I glanced at my dog that was sitting down and paying attention to the bottle. I realized that I had chose the wrong path and cried because I wasn’t there for my dog anymore. I could not pet him, feed him or talk to him. He couldn’t even see me! I couldn’t help but to cry even harder. I just wanted it to be a dream.

Night of August 12, 2018. Sunday.

Reading time: 1 min 29 sec. Readability score: 73.



I had made a music video of one of my songs. An unknown male happily praises my work, saying how “perfect” it is. I had supposedly not seen it for a long time.

The video recording is somehow on an audio cassette. (I have not recorded on audio cassettes for years.) I notice that the tape, in a cassette deck about three feet below the monitor and vertically oriented, had been left near the middle and I remember that not having a cassette tape rewound when not in use exposes the surface and might cause wow and flutter and damage the area. I start to play it, but it is about a minute into the song, so I rewind it to the beginning of the video.

“My” song turns out to be a strange version of “Sloop John B.” It mostly features me standing and singing in front of the sides of old ships. I am singing out of key. My voice is wavering and is annoying. Not all the words are the same as the original song, but I eventually make out, “So hoist up the John B’s sail. See how the mainsail sets.”

In the last scene, I notice a cannon pointed towards the viewer, on the right of where I am standing in a closeup shot from my chest up. It appears to be protruding from behind a tarpaulin.

---

My dream is a typical mix of associations that are unrelated. The main idea comes from sailing, as I had been using the word “oneironaut” (“dream sailor”) in some dream-related essays I had recently been writing. (Boats and water occur regularly in my dreams as it is.) Another word I had been using recently is “canon,” though related to known facts about my dreaming history. (In contrast, there are photographs from when I was about four, where I sat astride a cannon in a park.) Being the video’s last scene, it is the reactive representation of the cessation of the dream state. (Additionally, it may be a phallus association that reflects a need to wake and use the bathroom). In real life, I had recently made a video of a recent track of mine, but there are no vocals.

---

I had this bad dream last night and when I woke up from it, I was cold.

Very detailed.

I'm looking out the window and on the other side of the river, I see women walking at about 10 steps distances from each other. About 20 of them. I wonder what they are doing. Then i see a black SUV and I realize it's a funeral procession.

Later we are going towards the river bank and I see a building which I had no idea was there. It looks like a memorial home. It's all gray and gothic, I don't like it and I'm trying to not go near it.

But somehow I end up inside and I follow this girl. I watch her from 3rd person view. So she could be me? She walks into the office of the director. She is shorter than the desk and while the director is talking to her, she sneaks out. He looks down and I ask him who is he looking for. But I don't think he sees me. I know the girl is running away and all that was a distraction she did so she can give herself a head start.

Now I'm following this young woman, still as a 3rd person view. We go from that office to another room. When i realize that it has dead bodies in it, all bloodied and wrapped in thick plastic, I tell to myself that I don't really want to see this, so I better close my eyes. She wants to escape by hiding under those bodies.


Day before:
I'm an astronaut in a space outpost on an alien planet. Someone is coming so I'm in a hurry to put on my helmet so I can get out of there. (was watching The Martian few days ago)

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 50 sec. Readability score: 66.



I am in an unknown bank, though the area is not very defined. I do not discern any walls, only “blank” space beyond.

I am firstly standing in a long queue, but then I decide to sit down. There are many chairs as if arranged to watch a play, facing the teller stations. A lot of other people are present and sitting in chairs.

The area with the tellers also has an unusual alcove to the rightmost of my view. An unknown man goes ahead of the others waiting in line. An unfamiliar woman at the end of the line becomes annoyed. The man goes into the alcove and is no longer visible. I do not know how their system works. I comment on the event to imply that I understand her frustration, but consider my comment is probably annoying to her as well.

---

The event is like a typical checkout scenario, which is common in my dreams and is a reactive representation of the waking process (leaving the dream state in an obvious metaphor). The man going into the alcove is a projection of my emerging consciousness, in which I am subliminally planning on going back to sleep after waking, analogically duplicated by me sitting down in a chair to rest.

---

Non-dream stuff - Woke up at about 9:30 and got up to write this long non-lucid dream, that I've split into 3.

---

Dream part 1:
I remember being at the place that used to be a store, on the ground floor of my childhood home. in the dream this place was just a room, like a dining room. An old school friend of mine was there and he was sat down at a table and I had been too but now I was preparing some meals, like sandwiches for a trip. I remember I made 8 buns and 4 of something else. I distinctly remember putting the buns in kitchen paper and folding pairs over themselves.

Then I remember needing to go to the bathroom or needing the attention of my dad or one of my siblings for some reason, and they were in the bathroom. I remember it was dark. The previous room was bright, it had a light on or something.

Dream part 2:
Then I remember being underground, at a subway train station. I was walking toward where I knew the platform to be in the dream. It was a long journey, it felt more like I was at an airport terminal, in that sense. I remember thinking the way was through a certain place but it was just a bread shop and actually it was a dead end full of bread stands. I turned around and went toward some stairs up that then had escalator stairs down...

I remember being at the platform now. There was a massive red train waiting at the platform but on a rail that wasn't right next to the platform, then another slightly taller but much much thinner train was arriving, and everyone was thinking this one was gonna stop and be the train to take them where they needed to go. I thought maybe it would be, too, and got closer to the edge as it was going past, but it never stopped. It was a very odd train and I wondered how it even looked inside with the shape it had.

Looking around, the platform was only one of several. This was in some sort of enclosed valley. Surrounding the platforms were walls of stone but the top was open sky. Past the closest rails was not another platform, but a cliff, and down there were more platforms in different orientations and directions. It was night, but I could see clearly, though I don't remember illumination posts.

I was annoyed it had taken me so long to get here, and I remember I was carrying a backpack, presumably with all those food things I made. I was looking at a tiny unfoldable map, which I remember being an unsaturated magenta colour, like a light pink, and it felt more like it was for a cd to be in it, but there was no cd. I faffed on with it trying to understand it but gave up and a boy came up to me and mocked me and we got into a bit of an argument and I said something like "this map doesn't make any sense!" at which point the child agreed with a grin.

I remember I was sitting down now and there were many other sitting down too, seemingly students of some kind. One was arriving now and showing people this transparent but large crystal, with an oblong shape with beveled edges. He said it was part of the research he did with some old guy. Then he addressed a girl there and showed her the crystal, saying like: "this is what your grandfather and i worked on" and she took the crystal into both her hands and examined it.

At some point I was holding a beer, like a pale ale.

Now I remember only seeing a machine of some kind. A portable machine, made of glass or clear plastic, and the machine took liquid inputs at the top and they'd go down into larger tubed areas and then down into a tiny transparent chamber, where there seemed to be a mushroom, for each of the chambers. I remember 4 inputs, tubes and ends. The mushrooms seemed to magically absorb the liquids, mostly water.

Dream part 3:
Then an instant transition as far as I remember. I was seeing like a film scene but I was in the role of what was a future sci-fi German tank driver. The tank looked high tech and the metal plating had a blue hue. The tank was being dropped off into a warzone in a city in Poland or somewhere like that by a plane or helicopter.

On landing, the driver looking around for targets, mostly infantry on the ground or on top of buildings. The view zoomed in on a police car that was wrecked, then on a door, and then on some rooftops, as seen from the tank's position. There was some infantry on top of the buildings and the cannon was aimed and fired at the rooftop. Then looked around for more targets and didn't find any so moved on through the road, into a parking lot. Going up the parking lot twisty ramp, met with a mech armed with machine guns and rockets, and it outmaneuvered the tank easily but the tank kept the cannon aimed at it as well as possible; then the mech jumped and latched onto a wall, and the tank was in a bit of a bad position, stuck, and the mech was about to fire its weapons, and took some shells from the tank but without really doing much damage. I remember going "no, no, no" and bailing the tank very quickly. Now I was still the driver but I had some dual machine guns and fired on the mech which quickly destroyed it.

I continued on foot up the parking lot. Then I saw some agents, and I tried fighting them and did manage to get them but there was a sort of paralyising trap that proved to be difficult during the fight. My memory on the details here has been lost a bit. Then I just remember going out of the parking lot building at a higher tier and it was night but it would be day soon, and I was walking around past the edge of some kind of military base where there were several agents.

The last part I remember was some mutated war dogs that tried attacking me, and then a worm that came out of the ground and got me. The dream didn't end there but I don't remember what came next.

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Some notes:

• The old school friend was the first potential cue for a RC. He was one of my closer friends during college.
• As soon as I was underground at the subway station, even before the platforms, it was a good cue to RC because I know that train stations are very rarely that big.
• The trains were an obvious dream-sign, one of my more common ones. Though it was the first time they had such weird shapes.
• In the third part, the dream was initially the context of some kind of future world war, like a hundred years in the future or something. The country the tank was deployed to was not an enemy, but an ally being invaded, in the dream context.
• The final context of the third part was that it was a digital thing, like the Matrix. Because of the contexts, I don't think I'd be likely to have noticed any RC cues at this point.
• I remember a music playing the last dream part. It was a mix of the soundtrack from the film "Fifth Element" and something else more dramatic. I can never remember music clearly after a dream ends.

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 1 min 42 sec. Readability score: 59.



I enter a very unusual bathroom wake-up call state (which also includes the reactive representation of vague hunger), which is ambiguous and lacking my conscious self presence in most of the continuity.

Even though I am back in Cubitis in my dream (where I have not lived since 1978), and my father is alive, and of a young appearance (as in the 1950s before I was born), there is a singular thread of awareness of opening our refrigerator in my present home. I open it, and there is a black snake inside. It crawls up to hide in back behind the freezer section.

Later, I go into the Cubitis bathroom. There is a small black snake on the edge of the bathtub closest to the wall. I soon see a bigger black snake near the faucet.

I decide to go and tell my father about this. He is in the room he built (that extended into the carport, though this was my mother’s room in the year before moving to Wisconsin). I tell him that the house is full of snakes (an exaggeration).

At this time, an ambiguous thread of current conscious self identity is present. I am also aware of Zsuzsanna (and her relationship to me) even though I am fourteen in my dream.

I had talked with Zsuzsanna about the snakes possibly being the most venomous ones around (assuming Australia). They are gone when my father looks around. This type of ambiguity and error is common. The black snakes in our yard and house were not harmful when I lived in Florida. My dream self has the distorted perception of being in America and Australia at the same time. Only some dreams have this.

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Distorted temporality is common. The dream self is not the conscious self. Dual identity and emerging consciousness distortion is also a factor. The belief that dreams are related to memory processing or memory consolidation (or even viable content from the unconscious mind) is utterly nonsensical. They are mainly reactive representations in real time, based on subliminal, liminal, or lucid awareness of being in the dream state and maintained by the preconscious in sleep (as dreams evolved out of a need to be aware of environmental factors and biological needs while sleeping).

Although a snake is often a metaphorical representation of the reticular formation as a waking alert factor (as likely in all primates), there are other associations, as with the human intestine (stomach cramps or bowel movements), frayed electrical cords, pins and needles in an arm, or pain in a finger.

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I dreamt that I had a mission and that was stealing something very small, like a brooch. A woman showed me the way the a huge safe. She quickly let me in but then the door closed behind me and I only had a few minutes before the owner would come. She asked me to help since I was one of the very best to steal in such a impossible situations. I quickly looked around, trying the find the brooch and also a way out. Soon I would here a man's vocie behind the door and didn't sound very happy. I felt the time running out in the sand and stressed around in that giant safe.

There were no boxes and no other exits. I kind of panicked, high up in the ceiling there was a window which was impossible to reach but still no brooch. The owner sounded very upset and he said that he knew that I was in there. I ran towards the wall that was located right at the door to the safe and found a handle. I desperatly pulled it and found a very small box for jewelry. I opened the box and found the tiny brooch that the woman wanted and put in my pocket. Then I put the box back and discovered another way out behind the it. It looked like a shelf and behind it a secret exit I quickly got out and in that safe I could here the man talking with someone else. I didn't wanted to stay for long so I ran away. Later I found the woman who wanted me to steal the brooch in the first place and told me I was a good boy.

Non-dream stuff; I woke up at 5:59 initially, then being up for a few minutes and then going back to bed and waking up again later around 7 and later at 10:30 when I got up. I haven't numbered the following sequences because the order in which they happened is really messed up in my memory.

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Fragment and intermission:
This was when I first woke up at 5:59; I simply remember music playing softly. The next paragraph is from waking life:

I woke up from the sound of torrential rain, as did my partner, and we both got up from bed to look. I realised I was still hearing the vague memory of this music very faintly, at which point it stopped completely as I also realised the rain was the likely cause for it in the dream world. After a few minutes we went back to bed, but I did reality checks because it felt like an odd situation, to find that this was indeed reality. I realised that perhaps the fact that I was lucid already by being awoken by something odd was what made me think to do a few RCs. I seem to remember going back to bed with the intention of confronting the man from the next dream written...

Dream sequence:
I was in the car with my partner and we arrived at a parking lot. It was day but it looked dark grey and cloudy. The parking lot was in front of a few shops, and my partner wanted to go to one of the shops for groceries, but closest to us as we got out of the car was a little shop, and I went in and my partner followed. It was a vintage toy shop. There were metallic scale models of WWI and WWII tanks and artillery cannons, and the shop's owner was a man. He had two children, who were also at the shop.

I remember having a look around and taking a liking to a cargo wagon model and a WWII Panzer-like tank model. I always liked the shapes on some of the German tanks. The models were all on display on some glass shelves of some kind, I think. There was a strange red mood lighting and no other lights seemed to be present, actually. This has happened in other dreams though it is uncommon.

Then I was going to buy the model of the tank and my partner was sitting on a sofa thing in the reception area, bored, getting worried the other shop was going to close (which in the dream I felt like he was right about) and then we heard some noise from the other display room and the shop man just said it was his kids.

Then we went out and my partner walked into the other shop, and I was about to too, and I dropped something and I stopped and looked to my left as I was going to pick it up and there was now a small wall close to me but a gap between the wall and the shop. There was a man, crawling forward on his stomach and making raving noises like "oooaaa oooaaa" repeatedly. He looked right out of his mind, and he took what I dropped. I got a bit angry and stepped forward menacingly, remembering now that I was scowling too.

He got up and stood tall; he was a fair bit taller than me and still had an odd expression on his face, and initally just walked forward a bit toward me at which point I threatened him in my native language saying something to the effect of "you wanna get some?!", he stepped forward again and I stepped back because he had long arms and I was wary of him being able to strike me from further than I'd be able to hit him back. Another man stood up from a seat to the left (that I had previously not noticed, in fact there was a whole row of seats and people like at a clinic) and that second man grabbed the first one and directed him toward a bathroom in the wall of the big shop building and bashed the first man's head on the toilet lid.

Dream fragment:
I remember being in some sort of game, with a lot of water. There were big naval vessels and I remember an interface with a map showing lots of dots and dots with circles around them. All of them were coloured, and I remember most of them were yellow or white, and there were some red ones too. They seemed to represent other ships and naval bases. I remember later being on land and something about a military base and my siblings being there.

Dream fragment:
I remember being in a room with a round table. The table was modern and large, but not actually very high. Around the table were myself, some random people and of particular note an old school friend of mine, which I'll call C. I didn't speak to C directly in the dream, she looked moody and was turned away from the table and she looked as I remembered her. Another girl was talking to me and explaining that C and her girlfriend broke up and that C was upset because of it and that they'd been trying to have kids. I initially thought that was a bit odd.

This other girl started having a discussion with me about a random method I'd never heard of for a woman to get pregnant, and I said something like "well, why didn't they just try insemination?" and the girl looked at me with a funny face and said "insemination?" like she'd never even heard the word. She scrawled some crude diagrams of the female reproductive system and of how this other method was going to work.

C left at some point, and that's all I remember.

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Finally, some notes:

• The raving mad man was someone I perceived in the dream to be like a beggar or vagabond. Not the kind of person I would have felt like I'd be threatening with violence, but I was angry for having something taken from me.
• It was odd that in the dream my partner didn't come looking for me but I didn't think of it in the dream either.
• The lighting in the toy model shop could have been a good cue to RC. I need to add it to my list of Uncommon dream-signs, as I've had it before.
• My old friend C was someone I had a crush on during school time. This should was a dream-sign and good cue for RC. For context, a couple of years later I did talk to her about it and she said that it wouldn't have mattered because at the time I was interested in her, she wasn't intersted in going out with anyone because she was fed up, but we were still friends.
• The fact that C and whoever her girlfriend was were breaking up seemed sudden to me in the dream. In waking life I do know that she has a girlfriend now but I so rarely speak with C that I don't really know anything about her life.
• The other very explanatory girl, felt like one of those irritating people who you can't really have a discussion with. Ironically I'm fairly certain she was dream-generated.
• It is somewhat curious to me that the dream-generated woman I recently had appear in some dreams, the receptionist, was a woman that represents the black hair archetype of woman I've found in waking life, such as C and some other friends. The Anima I've previously had appear in dreams was blonde, quiet, and of somewhat firm attitude. This second dream-generated archetype seems to be a different kind of Anima, more likely to respond and talk but also being firm in attitude.

I should make note that this DJ entry marks a bit of a milestone since starting this dream journal, that my dream recall has generally improved a lot solely by having the intention of writing down the dreams and having a routine to do so. I am no longer forgetting fragments easily between sleeping and waking, though it still happens.

Short lucid

Was at Jamie's house and she had some friends there. Found that boring but became lucid somehow. I wandered to a table to try time dilation. Started counting the spaces between my fingers with one eye closed left to right. everytime i went left again I had more fingers to count. by 20 20 the dream just faded out.

Fight

I remember chasing after Jamie after we had some huge fight of which or what about I don't remember. I finally caught up with her on some street, she eventually turned around and we both started apologizing. I gave her a hug and she felt so real. "I love you." I said to her then I woke up.

Secret room

Was in my inner world house. Somehow I had learned of a secret room in my house between some walls. I was in a kitchen part and looking at the walls trying to find it. I saw a vent there near the ceiling and tried to climb to it. I couldn't. A man was there, who I think was Data offered me a boost up. I went up and peered in the vent, there was nothing there but black. I told Data i couldn't get in. He lifted up the ceiling and I jumped down the other side.

Inside was what looked like a giant storage room with random boxes and clothes all over the place. I wonder if Asuka had stored things here herself. I just leafed through things until the dream was over.

Lucid

I found myself wandering a street lucid. There seemed to be no transition from the last dream. I wandered for a bit but things started getting darker. I remember Mzzck once made a lucid longer by trying to eat a tree. I didn't see no trees but I found a telephone pole and teleported to it and began trying to eat it. It did taste kind of like a tree and I did smell pine. The act engaged so many different senses it kept me in the dream.

After a bite or two I found myself wandering by a house that seemed familiar. I went into the driveway and decided to try time dilation again. I placed my hand on the ground. closed one eye and counted spaces between my fingers. Every time i went back left to right I had another hand. I managed to count to 40 before my vision began to distort too much so I Jumped up to escape the distortions. I didn't get very far, so I immediately tried again and flew up past the roof. I saw a woman get out of the house and i landed near her. I asked her if she knew where I could find Jamie and I said her last name. The woman said she did and would give me a ride.

We got into her car and I briefly wondered if I should bother wearing a seat belt in this dream. We pulled away and a few moments later she pulled over and a midget got into the car. That wasn't Jamie... So I waited longer.

Suddenly, a woman with long brown hair was suddenly sitting in the backseat out of nowhere. Looking back I'm positive it was Jamie. She startled me and also resembled S. I said she scared the shit out of me and why was she here ( i was still convinced she was S)? Jamie got mad and said she teleported in here to find me. Then she vanished either waking up or teleporting away. The woman's car stopped again and another midget got in. Flustered, I left the car.

I still wanted to look for Jamie even though she had just been there. I began walking across a field toward some plaza calling out her name where it looked like there was fast food and shops. But as I got closer the businesses changed and seemed further away.

Wound up going into some abandoned house. Went upstairs and looked around a bit. When I went back to the stairs a man wandered in followed by a weird creature trying to make itself look like an asian girl. I didn't walk but sort of hopped behind him. This freaked me out. So I teleported to the man and killed him with a knife I seemed to get out of nowhere. I turned to the creature and stabbed it's coat but the knife went through. It fell on the ground. I pulled off the coat and underneath was just a broom handle with a wooden head with fake hair. I wondered if the man was using magic to make it seem like he had a companion. My vision got all watery as it does when lucids end and so it ended.

Hypnagogia: a pair of hands pressed together as if in prayer, both skewered by a double pointed blade.

37/ 14th Lucid. In a van, I backed into a parking spot at the top of a tall waterfall. I slowly backed toward the cliff. “Stop, you’re going to fall!” someone yelled. In a split second my mind considered the situation and the location and I smiled. “It’s okay, this is a dream,” I told the worried onlookers. I backed over the cliff, slipped out of the van like I was a spirit, teleported to just above the ground below, then dropped back to earth. People at the base of the waterfall screamed as the van plumetted toward them. I glared up and thought, “Stop.” The van halted midair. It gently spiraled to the ground and settled onto its wheels. The crowd cheered and ran toward me.
I knew that they would distract me if I got involved so I ran and dove into a tree. I split into particles, filtered down into the roots, and dripped back into my body shape to drop through a dim space. (always creepy and cool when I dissintegrate) I landed on a flat and looked up. The clouds, if they were clouds, were tangled with all shapes and sizes of roots. I thought to sing to the sky but couldn’t remember the song. Instead I wandered the dim area looking for something to trigger my memory.

38/ Some friends invited me to their sci fi larp thing. They were dressed in silver outfits with silver weapons. An odd weapon was a huge silver cube that my one friend would climb into and run in. It looked awkward and floppy and I didn’t understand it. Partway to the larp area I got distracted by food. By time I was done eating and found my friends, the larp was done. They regailed me with the tales of their outerspace adventures.

woke at 4:43am. WBTB

39/ 15th LUCID. Just suddenly aware I was dreaming. It was hard to walk, my legs tingled as if asleep. I looked down to see no legs. Figured I must be feeling my sleeping real legs. I floated along, no longer human shaped. I yelled, “Dream?” just to ensure I had a voice. I really needed to know what I looked like so tried to split into two. I wanted to stand beside myself to see myself. During the stressful process of struggling to split, I woke.

40/ I helped two of my sisters shell dried corn. The buckets filled and there was corn left so I made a pouch of the bottom of my tshirt and let kernals fall into it. I slid into the crook of a tree root for more comfort. I was suddenly high in the tree, precariously balanced on a flat spot where someone had cut a tree branch off. It was a steep angle and I started sliding off. I didn’t want to spill the kernals and struggled to sit still while protecting the corn. “Hurry, go get baskets or buckets or something!” I yelled at my sisters. They went slowly and came back with a small bowl. I tried to pour the corn into it. The kernals went everywehre. Some were even picked up by the wind and scattered farther away.
I slid out of the tree and picked the kernals out of the grass. Not watching where I was backing into, I slid into a giant garbage hole. My sisters stood at the top and chatted about how best to save me. I slid deeper into the hole and at its bottom fell into a pool of frothy garbage water. I struggled to stay afloat. My sisters walked away. I slowly climbed out of the garbage hole, found my sisters, and yelled at them. They told me to go shower. I did. When finished I found out my sisters had driven away to avoid my anger. I set out after them on foot.