non-lucid

Date of Dream: THU 6 JUN - 2019



Dream No. 611 - A Suspicious Exam

I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I was at a Chisholm campus but it was very distorted and did not look like anywhere I have been in real life. I was doing the Bachelor of Accounting segment of my education had to sit an exam which was in a very short time; it would be for two hours. I entered the classroom which looked more like the rooms from my high school. There was lady supervising the exams that was very strict; she said something about the papers but I forgot what it was.

When I had finished the exam, I went back outside and navigated my way towards the borders of the campus. I had gone though this weird passage way which seemed to be insulated with some weird material. I also ended up passing the accounting department administrations officer SD'M. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream No. 611
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

Date of Dream: WED 5 JUN - 2019



Dream No. 610 - The Mean Coordinator

I don’t remember much about this dream. From what I can remember, I was at some unknown area and repeating year 12 again for school. Mrs Ken. was claiming to be our year level coordinator but I knew something wasn’t right and kept arguing that it was supposed to be Ms L. My parents were also in the scene but I have forgotten what their role was. In this dream, Mrs Ken. seemed to have some what of a shifty attitude or at least that she didn’t want to do good for the year level.

For the next part of the scene, I happened to be in the backyard of my old house. A distorted version of Dreamy WB was at the end of the yard, half way between a human and a dog. I forgot to finish this recap and so my memory has gone for the rest of the dream.



Dream No. 610
Dream Guide: Dreamy WB
Lucid?: No

Date of Dream: TUE 4 JUN - 2019



Dream No. 609 - Party At The Hospital

I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, my mum was driving us to some sort of hospital. The building was extremely high and didn’t look like any hospital I had seen in real life. I went into the building and felt uncertain about where I was, I was especially looking around to make sure I didn’t come across any unexpected elevators.

Later on in the dream, I was sitting in a ward with SW, JSc and VJ. Apparently there was some hospital-wide party going on and so we all dressed up for it, the theme of our outfits were yellow and blue. I was wearing a fancy yellow and blue dress but can’t describe it exactly as I have forgotten how it looked like. I can’t remember anything else about this dream.



Dream No. 609
Dream Guide: None
Lucid?: No

+ [vivid, long] I'm hiking on a steep hillside in a mountain range in South America (Venezuela?). I look along long dirt pathways heading in different directions, and imagine that some sort of grader/bulldozer had / will be making these paths. Up ahead I see the ridge line, and I think once I get up there I'll be able to see the sea on the other side. I get to the top and I do see the sea, but it's more of an inlet/bay, with the mountains extending around both sides with an opening to the real sea beyond, I wasn't expecting this view.

Now I'm down at the water's edge standing on what I determine to be a diving board extending out over the water. I'm standing on the edge looking down into the clear, blue water, admiring its clarity. I think how I'd really like to have a diving mask and go snorkeling, how it must be very beautiful. I'm trying to gauge the depth of the water and looking for obstructions to see if it's safe to dive. I'm decide I'll jump to be safe. A friend I'm with goes ahead and dives headfirst off the board into the water. I do a jump and gain some height and head into the water, as I'm descending towards the water I control my direction with hand movements and my will, I see there are shallow rocks which I want to avoid. There doesn't appear to be a completely deep/safe place as I enter the water, but I don't hit anything.

I climb out of the water in on a very small sandy opening among rocks. There are lots of sand creatures swarming around, like sand fleas/crabs. There are many of them and I'm brushing them off of me as I emerge from the water.

I'm on a hidden path to the right side (when facing the water) of the main diving board area. I think this is the "real" path. It can be used as a place for concealed shooting? Even though it's in the open, I think I can't be seen from the diving board area. (There is a flock of birds in the sky?)

+ Disembodied Observer, floating (1000 ft, fairly high) over landscape which transitions between dense city and rolling hills with roads cutting through. I'm mentally discussing the IT work situation in (Venezuela?) with some guy (not seen). He's saying there is lots of server-side work there, many companies.

+ (f) close-up view of the curb in a parking lot(?), there are fallen leaves there, I imagine cleaning them up?

+ Standing outside a McD's there's a (woman?) worker inside taking orders, I'm with somebody making an order and I think about adding an order for 4 large egg burritos. I imagine chewing on one and encountering a large chicken bone which fills my mouth, it is an unpleasant sensation.

+ I'm standing/floating over a road, on the right hand shoulder my son S2 is on my motorcycle (facing me) and he's trying to back it up to the shoulder and park it. It's going very slowly so I tell him to put it into reverse gear. He does this and then modulates the clutch and the gas and moves backwards in quick bursts, the process is going faster now, but I see he is very inefficiently using the gas and clutch. He starts rolling the bike forwards and it falls to its left side. "Great," I think, I'm frustrated that he dropped it.

+ In some hall filled with people (like a protestant church), with the benches sloping down towards the front, I'm walking towards the back of the hall up the aisle, there is seating to the left and right (it's divided into 3rds?). I find some spots on a bench to the left with enough room for my family. I'm standing over my kids and discussing how important it is to be a responsible person.

I only have faint memories of one dream from last night.

I have been worried about my sister lately due to some unfortunate RL stuff. But in my dream, my mom came to see me, along with my sister (don't know where my brother was, or if my dad was there).

There were two copies of my sister there -- one from the present, and one from the past. Both of them were acting differently, but they were both clearly my sister. The younger of the copies told me that she was from the past. She had time traveled to get to our present day.

Kind of freaky honestly.

I don't have a lot of time to journal so here goes.

Jamie dreams

I was dosing off while watching The Equalizer 2. In the dream Jamie was staring at a computer screen intently thinking about me, not sure if she was reading or typing something. Somehow my mind made this dream a part of the movie I was watching. In a dream later in the week, don't remember the setting, Just that jamie was around but being quiet and not looking at me. Well, I hope we have some better dreams this week. Can never go wrong with dreams hugs!!!

ok

Dream about some girl from work. she was calling me a pervert or something. IWL throughout the week I made a point to avoid her or even looking her way just in case this dream has some truth.

There are other non lucids that I can't really recall right now...

Morning of December 27, 2019. Friday.

Dream #: 19,366-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



As a consequence of the typical synaptic gating of sleep that results in loss of wakefulness and memory, my dream self loses current waking-life identity, my most active but fictitiously altered recall (preconscious mediation) stemming from around 1985. I seem to be about twenty-five years old instead of fifty-nine. I remember the King Street mansion, but nothing yet outside of that factor, not even parents, relatives, or current family, and nothing pertinent about my life over the past thirty years.

I am in an unfamiliar mansion owned by a wealthy family. I sense their house is about two blocks west of the King Street mansion. There are the man and his wife, their dark-haired young daughter, and a male servant living here. I marvel at the setting with its beautiful curtains and antique furniture.

I will be living with this family as a result of my adoption even though my dream renders me as a young adult.

Several well-known sleep-wake mediation factors occur. I am sitting on the rich man’s canopy bed in the late morning (with no one else around until moments later), and notice a small shiny gold toolbox on a table to the left of the bed. It is unlocked. As well as other valuable possessions, including a diary, there are several smooth white stones with parts of pictorial maps (in color) printed on their surfaces.

The man (this dream’s main preconscious personification) walks in but does not seem angry about my invasion of his privacy. He sits on the bed and mentions how rare the stones are.

His daughter (this dream’s vestibular system avatar) comes in and sits on the bed. The woman comes into the room but remains standing. The girl’s black cat jumps on the bed, and the woman refers to him as “Skywalker.”

---

Sleep-wake mediation factors:

Bed: Instinctual (though a frequent liminality forerunner as here) awareness of being asleep.

Toolbox: Opening the toolbox (similar to using a door to either wake or vivify and sustain a dream) signifies synaptic gating and achieving consciousness. My dreaming experience significantly vivifies at this point. The mapping stones represent finding the way back to wakefulness as the part of the mind that organizes information initiates.

Gold: This color only dominates a dream as a precursor to achieving wakefulness.

Cat: Liminality forerunner (a summoning factor by habit since childhood). Cats always “land on their feet” (successfully mediate the anticipated “drop” into wakefulness).

The girl: Somatosensory and proprioception personifications (and the resolving of physical ambiguity as my dream self’s body is fictitious in form and orientation) are typically female (as an instinctually summoned avatar). An important factor is the girl’s cat named “Skywalker.” It stems from liminal drop anticipation and the imaginary proprioception of the dream state and is flight-related.

The woman, who is the only one standing in the last scene, is an incentive for me to wake and get up, as I begin to see her as Zsuzsanna as my (upper preconscious) reticular activating system’s waking alert factor initiates.

---

Well not really cool dreams just needed a title. LOL

Jamie dreams

Note: After posting last week, I felt really off and hurt, as if I could sense Jamie's hurt from (as if) reading my dreams. Oops, I'm cutting down on the things that seemed to make her upset in the dreams.

Dream 1: We are in fortnite (really these again). We are building all over the place, she stays some layers above me and is looking down on me like she is mad.

Dream 2: Fortnite again a few days later, Only now she is somehow editing my structures and making me fall.

Dream 3: fornite again Just remember catching up to her as she is phasing through a ramp, but this time she seems okay.

Dream 4: We are having another highschool dream. Jamie places herself in front of me nervously as if to get my attention. I try to interact with her but she's a little shaky.

Dream 4: Just remember we start to hug. good I hope things will get back to normal now. That is if you call this normal.

Youtube

I'm at some youtuber's house, a streamer I watch Byarteer, I watch him because he is the least cringy I guess. Anyway, Just remember me and a few other players at his house... No first me and my brother were flying to the UK to visit him. Anyway he kept sleeping randomly throughout the house. I wanted to leave and at every exit to the house i accidentally woke the guy up and he started yelling at me. Went back to a room and watched other people play squads, I was pretty bored.

Also had a second dream with this guy in it.

Sex Dream

But with a really old ex from like 2006.

thjere were other really vivid dreams i somehow forgot.

As a man this was a particularly strange dream. I first remember being at the hospital and going into labor. When I looked in the mirror however I looked really skinny and didn't feel pregnant at all.

Nevertheless, I was rushed into an operating room. I wondered how I would give a birth without a vagina. I think I actually grew a vagina at this point and my stomache had a weird feeling in it. Then I felt like I was going to have an extreme bowl movement.
A huge push and release and then out came the baby with all sorts of disguisting vile and feces. Additionally, there was this huge alien rock looking thing that came out as well. The doctors immediately took that away and gave me the baby.

Then dream skips a bit and I am at a department store lying on the ground wondering where my baby is. I face timed some strangers and they put my baby on there. They were taking care of my baby. I felt angry about this but too scared to ask for my baby back. I lied on the floor of the department store sobbing and weeping hoping someone would help me get the baby.

In the next part of the dream my sister and I were going to a music festival. There was some guy in our house who seemed to be using us just to get a ride their and back. I told him he could find his own way home.

Later I was watching a spy movie and got absorbed in it. There was a scene involving an office with a bunch of spies sitting around. An authority figure said he had a new top secret mission but would only accept the best of the best. All the spies started going around the room referring to themselves as "The gardener" and then a number (indicating rank) and bragging about their achievements.

It turned out this secret mission was a trap to lure all the office spies into a torture chamber. The authority figure apparently that they were double agents from russia.

There was an establishing shot of torture devices on the wall such as water picks, drills and so on. Gyms often have metal bar contraptions with ropes attached to them that people used to do rope and body weight resistance exercises. This is what the victims were attached to. Every victim was wearing what looked like extremly tight green
latex type material, but the front of their head looked like a tight version of a mask that a fencer might wear. The torture master poured water onto the mask of one of the victims who started struggling. There were many spies just hanging their life less on the bars. A new victim was brought in begging to be let go and even offering to give information. He was forced up a latter and into a coffin like device but in the shape
of a human body with a little face portion for his head. The head portioin was covered with small nails and two large nails for where is eyes would be. He begged not to go in but the closed the coffin on him and he screamed "my eyes my eyes".

I then remember him being removed and stuffed into one of those green latex suits left hanging their to be tortured further.

Morning of December 19, 2019. Thursday.

Dream #: 19,358-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



My dream results in reticular activating system sleep-wake mediation in a literal sense in this experience. Although I am in a bed, it is in a spacious unfamiliar business office. I am not tired or sleepy and had (in real life) gone to sleep earlier than usual.

The first sleep-wake mediation personification is an unfamiliar woman, about sixty years old, sitting at a desk to my right. (The process typically begins on my right, the side more exposed to environmental sounds as I sleep.) Her desk is a few feet from my bed and facing me. Over time, I become slightly puzzled by the situation, but my dream self does not register it as illogical or intrusive. Still, I instinctually initiate wall mediation by using clothespins to put up curtains between my bed and her desk. At first, one of my curtains falls on her, and she complains. Eventually, she puts up curtains as well, and there is a space of about three feet between my curtains and hers.

My waking-life identity is now more emergent (as it typically is as a result of wall mediation, which brings my dream self closer to liminality) and I realize that Zsuzsanna is sleeping in a canoe on the other side of the room to my left (as she sleeps on my left in reality, and most dreams render this factor correctly). I think I should be with her even though there may not be much space. (Despite the instinctual association with dream state reinduction with the canoe, there is no presence of water or wetness in this experience.)

I go over and get into the canoe. Another canoe is upside-down over the top of the first. I enjoy being with Zsuzsanna, and although there is an increase in my perception of imaginary physicality, there is no discomfort in the restricted space. (We are in the correct orientation, though our heads are in the opposite direction as mine was at the beginning of my dream.)

Later, an unfamiliar teenage boy gets into the canoe. After a short time, the secretary (still on the other side of the room), calls someone to come and get him. He is supposedly a juvenile delinquent, but I had not seen him as threatening.

Zsuzsanna and I are soon standing in the room. There is a sense of peace. I watch her go to the door that opens to outside. An unknown man, only in shadow, remaining in the doorway, calls her by the wrong name (Laura), but she responds with unknown information of some kind. (Wrong names occur in my dreams to signify how the dream self is not a viable model of waking-life; obvious, as my dreams never render valid memories.)

---

The use of a virtual door into or out of the dream state in sleep-wake mediation is common, and this is mediated by cortical arousal personification by way of preconscious simulacra and the reticular activating system. However, Zsuzsanna responding to this process rather than my dream self is intriguing.

---

I was riding a ride in Kings Dominion, the drop zone. We were lifted high into the sky and then dropped quickly, stopping right before we hit the ground.

I was a counselor at a summer camp. We were in a fort deep in the woods, I think it was early in the morning and we were talking to the campers.

The dream scene was in an expansive room in a church. There were rows of benches leading up to a podium and stained glass in the background. My manager Br was there speaking to me. They were playing religious music but at some point it turned into dubstep and club music. I was thinking it was bizarre that they were playing this kind of music in a church setting. I believe they were playing a Skrillex song at some point. I was flying upwards passing around a ball with some other people.

At the end of the dream I kept accidentally opening my mouth and I thought my jaw was going to break.

It is an annoyance and a tragedy that the immediate recollections of our escapades within the kaleidoscopic realm of dreams should vacate our minds with such cruel transience upon our withdrawal therefrom. Indeed, there is nary a dreamer – even among the most deliberate and experienced – who is spared the frustration of awakening from the dream realm with only fragmentary evocations of the awesome experiences they had and the amazing things their half-conscious eyes beheld; and there are fewer still who are spared the woefully common tragedy of awakening to no such remembrances at all, vainly grasping in the darkness for memories already gone. And so, as many diligent dreamers do upon awakening, I set immediately to writing the details of my most recent venture through the dream realm, fervently recording as much as I could before the bulk those precious memories faded into the ether. However, regardless of my efforts, many of the important details surrounding this tale were still lost in memory, not least of which were the details of the inciting event from which this tale would otherwise commence.

Because of this, all I can tell is that certain financial circumstances of an unfortunate sort had brought my mother, my sister, and me within the doleful residence of what is infamously known as a “Corporate City.” I cannot, however, tell the specific details of what forced us to settle into such a municipality. If I was ever made aware of the name of this place, I cannot remember it now and so, I will give it the name, “Avericia.” A fitting designation as you will soon tell.

The city of Avericia would most certainly stand as the ultimate staple of Late Stage Capitalism for Avericia was a place ruled by men of power and relentless greed. The rulers were not politicians of any sort, but corporate elites who reside in high towers and look down upon the working masses with little empathy and cruel indifference. Surrounded by a great wall rivaling that of Jericho, Avericia was home to those unfortunate souls who were subjugated to the whims of those ruthless men by whom they were employed.

At some undetermined point in time, I was treated to a panoramic view of the place. The panorama presented to me a deceptively pleasant skyline superimposed against the iridescent pulchritude of a twilight sky peopled by majestic cumuli decorated with calming shades of pink, orange, and mauve by the setting sun. The outer portion of the radial city boasted a suburban sprawl of asphalt roofs, clean-cut lawns, and lush trees for the viewing pleasure of the residents therein. Peering further towards the city center, I could see a lively metropolis of lights, never-ending festivities, and fanfare beyond imagination. And at the center of it all was a casino of impressive proportion. The exact details of that casino’s architecture are lost to me. All I can say is that its grand aspect had me entranced in a venerable state of awe. Upon initial examination, one would be hard-pressed to find anything wrong with such a beautiful sight and it is that very essence of synthetic beauty that draws wealthy tourists to the fantastical inner parts of that city every year.

After a procession of events that managed to evade remembrance, I found myself driving through the suburbs towards our place of residence. I remember little save a stretch of road that curved slightly through a neighborhood area, and from this up-close perspective, I could see fully the state of dereliction in which this suburban area was left. Houses were run down and defaced with graffiti and lawns were flooded with the foul overflow of neglected septic tanks. I do not remember the specific condition our home was in; I only remember that the place was crowded as there were several families taking up residence there. I slept in that house, not looking forward to the next morning.

I do not remember the events the following morning. I simply recall finding myself on an employee monorail tram towards the inner city where My sister and I were to begin our first shift at the casino. The specifics of our job duties were unclear, we only knew that we were to be doing grunt work with only meager compensation. The dereliction of the outer suburbs home to the impoverished employees contrasted with the pulchritude of the inner city which was home to the wealthy tourists. I do not remember the details of this inner-city; I simply remember being taken by the site of that massive casino at the center of it all, silhouetted in part against the rising sun.

The following events can only be described with a vexing degree of vagueness for it is here that all faculties of my recollection begin to break down. The next thing I recall is standing with my sister and the other employees outside of the employee entrance. It was off to the side, hidden from the public eye, and yet it was impressive in size, up to thirty feet high, as though it were a door for giants! I remember the moments where my sister and I would lament our present situation as we were made to clean the bathrooms. Unfortunately, that is all that I remember about the job itself. Sometime later, I found my half-conscious self floating through a cylindrical chamber illuminated by the firey luminescence of an unknown light source far below which caused the walls of this infernal chamber to glow red. The walls were lined with cavities whose openings were barred, each housing a prisoner. There was little doubt in my mind that I was deep within the annals of Sheol, the abode of the damned whose point of entry was at the base of this casino. How I came to be in this place, I do not know.

I do not remember the reasoning for the internment of the poor people imprisoned within those cavities, but I do recall being tasked with their emancipation. As it turned out, the rulers of this casino, as well as the city surrounding it, were demons and if I wanted to free the poor inmates of Sheol I had to go through the casino and kill each demon, bringing an end to their reign of wickedness and greed. What followed was a series of fantastical happenings of bravery, skill, danger, espionage, and camaraderie. The only demon that I specifically remember fighting was a green naga of tremendous size. One by one the demons fell and as they did, more people began to rise up and join the fight. It was a hard battle, but it was a battle that we were winning.

I wish I could say that fought to the very end. I wish I could say that I was able to free those poor people trapped in Sheol. Alas, I awoke before I could complete my task and so, as far as I know, the captives still suffer and many of the demonic elites responsible for their imprisonment still live.

2019, 12-11



Skyrim: The Slaver Trap

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at a mall with my mother. The fact my mother is coming with me into a mall should have triggered a reality check... she NEVER does that. But it seems normal to me. We go into the mall and start looking around. I have the idea the place is just about to close so we don't have much time. We go into a clothing store and I look to see if there is anything I like that will fit me. Neither my mom nor I find anything in our sizes. We leave and go to a video game / music store. There are both new and used games. I try a demo of a Mario Cart game, but I'm not doing very well. I keep driving off of the road. I start thinking the controller might be broken, because no matter how steady I hold it the car veers off to the right. I leave that and look for my mom. I don't see her. Apparently the game store is open later than the rest of the mall, it is still opening and showing no signs of closing. I go to another demo station. This has a cordless VR headset. I look at the price and cringe, it is almost $2,000. But I can still try the demo! I put the headset on and find I am in Skyrim VR. The graphics look great! I realize there are no controllers, but I can see my hands. My hands are the controllers! I want this sooooo bad... so I get into the demo.

I find I am in Windhelm just outside the Palace of the Kings. I have a quest marker near the main gates to Windhelm, so I hurry to there. Ambarys, the dark elf from the New Gnsis CornerClub is there waiting. What does he want? He's one of the most racist assholes in Windhelm, along with Rolff Stone-Head. When I approach him he says he was about to give up on me coming. I wonder if I could help him get over his racist tendencies. I have decided I need a way to do this that doesn’t involve a fus to the face. That is not very effective. With this in mind, as Ambarys and I leave Windhelm I start singing the song See Who I Am by Within Temptation. “Is it true what they say? Are we too blind to find a way? Fear of the unknown clouds our hearts today. Come into my world, see through my eyes. Try to understand, don't want to lose what we have…” Ambarys asks if I’m now a bard, too? I don’t answer, I just continue. “See who I am, break through the surface. Reach for my hand, let's show them that we can free our minds and find a way. The world is in our hands, this is not the end.” Light energy forms around us and flows through Ambarys. I don’t know what brought him to hate those different than him, but this should help more than a fus to the face.

We soon arrive at an isolated part of the road from Windhelm to Kynesgrove. I tell Ambarys to keep hidden, I’ll go out there and be a traveler to hopefully draw the orc out. Ambarys says if the orc gets me there’s nothing he can do. I say if the orc gets me it will be the orc’s problem, not Ambarys’. It is late afternoon as I walk down the street as if I’m in no particular hurry to get anywhere. I hear someone call for help from behind a bush. I carefully approach and find a male orc leaning on a tree, holding his side. I ask if he is ok. He says a bandit attacked him and he needs help. I get a little closer and he jumps on me. I respond immediately with a fus. FUS-RO-DAH! The orc is launched into the air. He flies out across the road and slams into a tree. He struggles to get up. I tell him I know he is the one who has been kidnapping travelers and selling them as slaves, that ends now. He is pissed and says I won’t live to tell anyone. I ask where he has been taking the slaves he captures. He says he’ll never tell me. I use my telepathy and read it from his mind. I tell him he just did tell me. He pulls out an axe and comes at me. It is too easy to cut him down with my Alex Mercer blade.

I return to Ambarys and ask if he has seen anyone else involved with the slaves. He says no, just the orc. And he only made the one deal with him, he’d never done anything like that before. He seems desperate to make me believe that. He says I have to tell the jarl that. I say my word might not mean a lot since I fus’d said jarl in the face for being rude. He looks shocked and asks what the jarl did… I shrug and say he fus’d me back. Then I start to wonder if I screwed up and will have to load a previous save. Fus’ing Ulfric in the face probably isn’t the best way to get his cooperation, but maybe solving the slave trade issue will make up for it. I tell Ambarys I won’t mention his involvement, but I can’t say that for anyone else. Tell everyone it had to look like he was in on the slave trade to keep from tipping that orc off. And the orc is in multiple pieces, he can’t argue. We are headed back when I wake up.

Morning of December 10, 2019. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,349-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min.



My mother and I were to get off the bus in Northside La Crosse in the afternoon. There is a distraction, and we remain en route to Southside La Crosse. My mother is annoyed (though this is illogical, as she seems more aware than I am in this dream and should have been aware of an upcoming bus stop).

My non-lucid dream has robbed me of my identity, which is typical. There is no recall of my mother dying in 2002 and no recall of any factor in my life since the 1980s, and yet my dream self feels perhaps 40 years old. Ultimately, this is not deliberate in a specific sense, but a result of incidental synaptic gating. However, synaptic gating works in a way to avoid a valid waking-life recall until the final gating factor with full consciousness. My non-lucid dreams are also the opposite of waking-life correlation (unless prescient or transpersonal). The trip from Northside La Crosse to Southside La Crosse would be typical in real life, as we already lived in Northside La Crosse, so my dream’s situation is ridiculous, that is, the direct opposite of the truth.

My dream’s induction is all about imaginary proprioception. When I try to get off the bus from its right, even though other passengers get off (including my mother), I only see a small opening, about two-thirds the size needed. This event is the wall mediation factor (that occurs throughout every sleep cycle). It indicates that I cannot move my physical body as I sleep (and although my waking orientation is usually to the right as I sleep on my left side, there is an additional factor here, explained later). I complain to the driver that I cannot get off the bus (either move my real body or yet correlate my imaginary dream body with my dream self’s perception). Another opening appears to the left of the first, about where real bus doors would be in America. It is more like a door, but irregular, still not big enough for me to get off the bus. I become slightly more dream-cognizant and teleport to where my mother is standing, near a group of people. We are at the post office (potential for enigmatic space or liminal space communication).

I start complaining about having lost my bag of books (cognitive arousal). I consider someone else might have taken them. My mother informs me that they are near where she is standing. Although I pick them up, this focus vanishes in the next scene.

We have to go back to Northside La Crosse, our original destination. I decide to go in a particular direction (that is fictitious). I instinctually summon water reinduction (virtual melatonin mediation). A beautiful river is on our right as we walk along a narrow road as my dream vivifies. We reach an area where we need to go up a slope. (This feature stems from the summoning of imaginary proprioception and vestibular system correlation that occurs in all longer dreams at one point or another, though I often use a staircase.) My dreaming experience vivifies again, just on the threshold of lucidity. However, I consider my mother will not be able to ascend the slope, so my cognizance (and imaginary physicality) decreases.

We somehow end up back near the La Crosse post office. A bus goes by, stopping briefly at an intersection (RAS autosymbolism of synaptic gating). This time, the doors are on the left and appear correct (big enough to get on and off the bus). I call out to my mother, “This is how buses should be.” (Why did I say this? Because with the synaptic gating event, I attain a subliminal recall that only buses in Australia look like this. However, I am still not aware of my true identity or the recall I live in Australia in real life.)

In the final scene, my mother boards a bus, saying it is the one we should take (back to Northside La Crosse), though I have my doubts. When we are on the bus, all I see are male and female students (all wearing the same uniforms as in an Australian school) from about sixth to eighth grades. I am uncertain if this is where we should be. This final synaptic gating event implies increasing cognizance (students going to school). Even though the students are Australian, I am not conscious until the last process. In hot weather, achieving consciousness (from the dream state) is more sluggish, validated by neuroscience.

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2019, 12-09

Skyrim: A Fus for a Fus

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at a toy show. I am there by myself, but that doesn't seem odd. I am looking at classic toys. I find a model of the God-Phoenix from G-Force anime. I always liked that ship so I look closer to see how much it is. I notice there are some pieces missing, but they look like pieces I could make myself out of clay. And the price is way discounted because of the damage! I pick it up and see part of it slides open to reveal the interior. This is cool. There are little figures sitting inside the ship. I take the ship to the cashier to buy it. The cashier looks at the model, then at the price, then calls his assistant over. He gets angry at the assistant, saying he labeled the God Phoenix wrong. He reveals to me that the price is somewhere around ten times what it was marked. After briefly arguing I give up and leave without the model. I wonder if he priced it wrong on purpose to get people wanting it and unwilling to let it go when they find out the real price. I am angry and I walk outside, not paying much attention to those around me. Our of the corner of my eye I see a woman trying to hold a sick looking man up. My anger fades and I go to help her. When she looks up I see she is an elf... it's Suvaris from Skyrim! She asked where I'd gone, leaving my friend to her. I look and see the man is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. I look around and I realize I'm not in Tucson anymore. It looks more like Windhelm. I help Suvaris support Roland to take him... I don't remember where we're taking him, but I hope he can get help.

Suvaris, Roland, and I arrive at the Palace of the Kings. Suvaris says she won’t go inside. I tell her there is no reason not to help me get Roland inside. She says there is a good reason, but continues helping me as I get Roland inside. Ulfric is in there and asks who Roland is? Ulfric sees Suvaris even though she is trying to stay hidden behind Roland and me. Ulfric looks annoyed and asks what she’s doing here. I say she’s helping with my friend, who has been poisoned. Ulfric says he wants Suvaris out now. I tell Ulfric not to make me fus him. Ulfric says he will agree to a lot of things but he will not… I don’t want to hear another rude word so I turn and fus Ulfric in the face. FUS-RO-DAH! He flies into the wall. Suvaris looks shocked and asks what I’ve done. I say it's no big deal, all I did was fus Ulfr… I lose my hold on Roland as I get fus’d. I am thrown against a wall, now I’m fighting uncontrollable laughter. The fact I got fus’d back seems hilarious. Now I want to try something. I get up and ask if Ulfric calls that a fus, that wasn’t a fus, it was a gentle breeze. I annoy him into fus’ing me again, but I respond with Whiplash by Metallica. The force of the fus reflects back at Ulfric. I tell Roland I’ve learned something new… it IS possible to fus yourself! Then I crack up laughing.

I take hold of Roland again and my laughter dies instantly. He’s burning up with fever. The poison has come back with a vengeance. Suvaris says to stop this nonsense, she’s leaving. She pushes Roland onto me and leaves. Roland is barely conscious. He calls me Susan and tries to kiss me. He is delirious. I tell him I’m not Susan… I’m Raven. It looks like Ulfric wants to be pissed but is more curious. He asks how I did that; how did I turn his shout back on him? It’s the whiplash effect, which will reflect any energy-based attack back at the attacker. To be honest I’d been unsure if it would work on a fus. Roland passes out. Ulfric motions to a couple guards (who surprisingly stayed out of our fus exchange) and they take Roland. I tell them no, leave Roland alone, I’m the one who attacked Ulfric, Roland did nothing… let him go or I'll fus your asses straight to... Ulfric interrupts and says they will take Roland to the court mage, Wuunferth, to get healing. He says a guard told him one of the elves was helping me catch a slave trader? Crap… I’m supposed to meet Ambarys to stop that orc! I look at Roland as the guards take him from the room. I hesitate. Ulfric insists Roland will be fine. I say I have to stop the orc and leave, only to wake up just outside the doors.