non-lucid

9.13.15

Sleep before the night shift.

Didn't want to record it, but something tells me I should.

I'm at my family in K. Half or most of them are already dead and I kinda remember it, but push it aside and not get scared by it. I get a text from my mom. One family member, I think it's my godmother pokes her head in the door and tells me that my father had probably died and that's what the text is about. I look at the screen but can't read it. I need to get on the internet and download it through the client. My cousin tells me his internet is not working or something like that, but I somehow make it work and I'm finally able to read the text. Its something funny and not important, my mom just wanted to let me know something. I knew that was the case, but at the same time, I made peace with the bad news as well.

There is little I can remember about my dream, unfortunately, and it doesn't help that I decided to wait for a while before writing it down. That being said, I do remember Dakota in my dream, and my mother--she had just had another child. We talked to her for a short while before turning to another girl that I sorta-kinda (but not really) used to be friends with, and she had a child as well.

Later on I was taking a shower, but when I was finished and opened the curtain I realized that the door to the bathroom was wide open. A Japanese man named Nekomata was standing in the room across from the bathroom, staring. At first I didn't realize what his problem was, but then I remembered that I have boobs and quickly tried to cover them up with a towel.

I find myself beaten and battered on the crags of some blighted cliff. I am underground, as it seems. All around me there is fire and brimstone. I stood high above, atop rocky platforms. A river of lava passed below and fire blazed in the air. I am crawling on my knees; I distinctly remember the long cuts on my back, the rips in my skin from some kind of animal. I leap across crag and crag, evading spouts of fire. There are many winged creatures flying in the air. I remember their opposition to me, several tried to push me off. I struggled with them, broke their wings, and threw them into the fires below.

At the end of my path is a man, though he is not possibly human. He is unnaturally tall and skeletal. The eyes of the skull glow red and bats swarm from out of his rips. Once I reach him, he holds out a hand and I am lifted into the air. My body immediately begins to burn, I bleed from every orifice on my body. Eyes, nose, ears, mouth, even my anal regions. Blood consumes me. In that instant my blood hardens to my skin, as I remember it. I have new skin, which is scarlet and curious. I drop to the ground with extreme force, yet I remain unharmed. With this, I am suddenly filled with a strange urge to jump off the cliff which my feet are planted. I inevitably jump...

In that moment, my heart races. I feel as though I have died in my dream. But I look, I have not fallen. I am skipping through the air as though there is a glass floor there. I levitate, I am invincible. The winged creatures fly towards me once more and begin firing at me with darts of flame. I am unaffected, my body moves in an array of powerful contortions even a skilled acrobat could never muster. My arms slash the creatures in half and they dissipate as clouds of ash. The power of my body is undeniable. Finally I drop myself, I am falling into the lava below. As I crash, I am engulfed in red. I am not singed by fire, rather I am frozen in place. I find my body evaporating and beginning to disappear. In that instant, I am gone.

I was playing Skyrim, but somehow also in the game as well. I had just started in a new save file and I was exploring the area to the north of Whiterun. I saw some ghosts/spectral characters and decided to stay away form them. I then started getting attacked by some bandits.

I remember there being some sort of above-ground labyrinth in the area outside of whiterun. In the game it was called 'old whiterun' because it was, in the game, the collapsed walls and foundations of the original city destroyed by a dragon. I didn't remember that area being in the game, but it was explained with the dream logic of "It's DLC".

I noticed my character's movement seemed sluggish. I was wearing heavy armor and I took it off, but that didnt make me faster. I had to drop it in order to go faster. So I was now fighting in my underwear. All I had was one sword, having just started a new game. I looted a bandit for a bow and arrow.

I went into the main city. I needed more supplies and had lots of gold that I had stolen from the bandits. Some of the citizens commented that I was not wearing clothing. (As they will sometimes do in the game.) I made new, better armor that wouldn't slow me as much. I then started to leave the city, but I saw that the spectral characters were now waiting for me outside.

I noticed that they were female and had tentacle like hair that seemed to move. I knew these enemies were very high level and didn't want to face them yet since this was a new file and I wasn't powerful yet.

...

I woke up, either into waking life or a lucid dream. I can't remember.

...

False awakening. My dad was saying that there was someone banging on the door trying to break in. I grabbed the knife I keep in my nightstand (this exists IWL) and ran downstairs. The door was closed. I heard the criminal speak to me telepathically. He said that we had to come out sometime.

I then remember he busted the door open. A Cerberus dog came storming in as the shadowy criminal retreated outside. The dog had once had three heads, but it appeared as though one of the side heads had been chopped off. This head had been troublesome for the owner because it was too friendly. It was on display in a museum somewhere. All that remained was a cartoony cross-section with a single white bone in the middle.

The remaining two heads were on long serpentine necks that could stretch six or eight feet. I only knew this because, while still standing in the doorway, one of the heads shot forward and devoured my dad whole.

I became semi lucid upon noticing the dog had multiple heads. I had a sense of control over the dog, but only while it was in the house. I also knew that my dad wasn't really gone and that somehow, the current situation had no bearing on reality.

"Bad dog! No eating my dad!" (or something similar)

*wimpers*

"Go! Shoo! Out!"

The dog ran off. I closed the door. I noticed the light had gone out in the foyer of my house. I then saw a duplicate of me hanging by the neck from the chain where the chandelier had been.

"Get out of this cage, or the consequences will be fatal!"

I could sense the dc was there to do what the dog had failed at: scaring me. Though in my semi lucidity, I was easily swayed to take his advice without questioning. At first, I thought he was referencing the house and the dog situation. (The dog was outside, and I somehow knew it would attack me agian if I tried to go out.) But I instead interpreted it as the dream was the cage, and decided to wake myself up instead.

I note upon waking that the situation of being trapped by the ghosts in the city of whiterun and being trapped in my house by the dog are similar.

Morning of September 13, 2015. Sunday.



This is a long meandering dream of watching a fictional spin-off to the television series “Lost”, which is not the first time this has happened, and resultant dreams always have baffling inconsistent plots.

---

My wife Zsuzsanna and family and I are apparently living in a new unique version of my Cubitis home. This time, the layout is similar to reality, but an additional design is implemented. The original layout is rotated one-hundred-eighty degrees and then superimposed on the original so that there is a hallway to the northwest as well as to the southeast. Of all my dreams set in Cubitis since 1968, this is the first time this particular distortion has been rendered as far as I know. The television is near the center of the room and we are facing mostly north while watching it, but holographic projections of the characters emerge at times and although they do not interact with us, they seem like a “real” presence now and then. (The albino ones vaguely remind me of the supposed alien energy beings on “Under the Dome”.)

This version of “Lost” has the original characters appear as children and focuses more on adventures they had while growing up, seemingly in a rural area. The main focus is on Hugo “Hurley” Reyes and the child version of him even has unusual sideburns. There also seem to be very unusual young albino versions of all the characters (who interact with the original characters) though who may be connected to some sort of experiment as they seem more like less-defined waves of energy at one point, or almost like suspended chalky vibrant water taking on human form. At one point, the characters are “real” and mostly to the right of my armchair in a small group facing my direction. They are talking to an adult who was not in the original show; a young black female detective.

There are two scenes in which an adult John Locke (Terry O'Quinn) is killed. It surprises me that they killed off a main character (so thus my actual memory of the series is truly lacking in my dream). One scene involves him lying on his back over a bed of nails submerged in the middle of a fast-flowing river. Another scene involves him falling through the floor of some sort of unusual room and also dying, due to enemies on the island finding him and pulling a special lever in the cave-like room.

There are a lot of random distractions in the various scenes and no cohesive plot of any kind for the most part. John Locke, I reason, must be being continuously cloned (or otherwise somehow “copied”) for him to die more than once.

Finally, the episode is drawing to a close (and it really did seem like an entire hour and perhaps even longer) and Zsuzsanna and I are ready to go to bed. Oddly, however, I “remember” or come to “realize” that Terry O'Quin is staying with us. I have this clear idea in my mind on asking him about what I had just seen (as I do not seem to recall all of it, at least precisely). I especially want to know about some other trends to be appearing on the show. I see him approaching our living room from the south hallway.

I speak clearly to him, “How many times did you die in this episode. Two? Or three?” He says in a friendly respectful manner that he had died twice in the episode that Zsuzsanna and I had just watched. I start to ask him about other details of the series. At this point he raises his left index finger vertically up to his lips as if to “shush” me, but also grins in a very friendly manner. He apparently does not want to reveal any upcoming surprises concerning the show. I also realize that he just wants to get some sleep. He then does an exaggerated tiptoe walk to the (fictional) north hallway and I see for the first time that he is wearing a woman’s silky teal-colored nightgown that comes to just above his knees. I see this as a little unusual, but I start to wake after this.

---

Yet again, my dream reflects precognitive and shared associations (remember that I do not always include this in online versions as it happens continuously and it would take up too much time for me to indicate each and every event from day to day), in the loose and impersonal manner they usually do. In this case, just as I was writing this, Zsuzsanna tells me of a show with kids and one old man in a dress who resembled Terry O'Quin and even did the exact same mannerism with the “shushing” gesture.

Black: non-dream
Blue: non-lucid
Red: lucid

Dream - Dinosaur Hunt
I remember running REALLY fast, I think I had a companion (whom might have been some sort of monster, if you've seen 'Ushio to Tora (TV)' then it was almost like that). It was night time, and as I was running I met a large horned wolf running along a road. The context of the dream was somewhat important to our interaction... I think we were hunting, there were other creatures that you had to make sure didn't catch you though. The wolf's name was 'Elbite' I think, he didn't want to team up with anyone which was the usual thing to do I think. Anyways, we part ways and me and my companion dart off down through some bushes off-road.

A little while later we chance upon the wolf again, it's day time now I think. We're hunting again and this time the wolf is way bigger. The wolf is running away from something this time and I decide to find out what's chasing him. We dart off to the right into a splay of tall evergreen pine trees. The ground was brown with pine needles and the trunks of the trees were pretty thick (maybe 2-3 people needed to wrap around its girth). The monster chasing Elbite was a giant red T-rex that had a claw which it could propel forward to catch its prey. Things in this world were a little more advanced in evolution apparently. Elbite was playing hooky, dodging around all the trees as the T-rex gave chase, occasionally shooting its claw which would slam into the trees. I watched and stayed out of the way as Elbite seemed to barely evade the attacks, but it dawned on me what he was really doing when I saw the state of the T-rex's claw... It was battered and bruised, bloody and bent. Around this time the T-rex noticed me and I decided to hide behind a tree. Things were pretty fuzzy as well. The T-rex was more of a woman now, glowing white, I was still caught up in the previous run and hide scenario so I didn't notice the change (wish I had, wanted to get lucid ). She approached the tree and I knew she was coming. She came around the tree and glanced down at me.. Her skin was fair, her hair snow white. A bright glow seemed to emanate from her and the gaze of her blue eyes was gentle. I was confused because she was human-size. I had thought for sure she was huge.. My befuddled mind found it was an irregularity which caused her to begin growing. I'm absolutely sure that if I had stayed in the dream longer then I would have noticed that I had been dreaming. But as it happened I pretty much just woke up as it was all changing...

Elbite was pretty cool, if that really was his name. A better description: he was a large black wolf with two horns protruding from his head. He had red eyes and seemed really smart.
The woman too was pretty interesting, I don't often have such profound dream characters which stick in my mind the way they did.

I had 2 small dreams last night, but once again, I mostly forget what they were and I was too tired to get up and write them down at the time, but one of them involved my high school. I remember more of the other one.

The other one involved being near some sort of jungle area in a small building. There was a lady there who worked there for some reason. I remember someone killing her and saying something like "Sorry for removing you from your post." But then I was able to save her for some reason, so I did. She seemed important but I didn't recognize her at all. It was very strange.

This all got me thinking about an old dream I had maybe a month ago too.
The premise of this other dream is that my school got some sort of expansion, and another floor. There was even a medical wing in my school for some reason. It was really strange. I remember walking down the seemingly endless hallways, trying to look for someone.

I think my dream recall is improving, but I need to learn to wake up and write my dreams down as soon as possible.

Got pulled into an area where a super creepy witch wouldn’t let go of a girl. She had really long arms that were wrapped around a semi, holding the girl and she had red reflective eyes. She kept cackling. Then she started coming at me. She got me and smothered me. I was scared. But then she started telling me nice things. She let me go. She tried to drive positive things home out of fear. But I was still disturbed. Later I saw her in the hallway by the ER laying in a bed covered in blood and wounds. She looked more like a normal blonde now. She reached out to me like she needed help and I tried to avoid her. I didn’t want to play her games. She kept doing things like that. I thought about stabbing her or cutting her throat. I told a cop she should arrest her and sarcastically she said, “approved” reminding me I didn’t have that authority. I was walking by a pond contemplating that it’s good I didn’t kill her without talking to police first because I would have gone to prison. It seemed like I was destined to go to prison. It started raining in slow motion and I laid on the grass and enjoyed it. Then she came out and decided she wanted to be my girlfriend and date me. I agreed for some reason. I started going through checks and told her I’ve been friends with lesbians but never in that way. I was reminded of a lesbian friend whom I had wanted that didn’t want me back and it hurt. She told me we would start with an event planner. We got to up to leave and I woke up sudden and anxiously.

Got called into work on a Sunday but it was Friday night at the same time. D was working. I hung out with him a while and he just stood there. I mentioned how easy his job is on the weekends. Kevin came in and I was surprised. I pretended not to see him. Surgery got really busy. I helped over there. There was a patient whose temp wasn’t reading and I told Amy. She said he was too hot and going to get heat rash. I took his blankets off. He started waking up. He was agitated. He tried to get out of bed and take his IV and foley out. I convinced him not to. Amy told me I need to wear a hair cap. I was so irritated that she told me that with no thanks after I just saved her patient. I tried to tell others but they wouldn’t listen. There were a lot of workers that didn’t get along. Surveyors were at the hospital. In the locker room we decided we should all get along so people passed around party invitations but they were mostly to Christmas events and child bdays. A doctor put in an order for a procedure (last one of that room). I didn’t know how to put it through so I asked if I push enter and then I pushed it. The screen went gray and static. Everyone was annoyed. We had to restart the computer. I was so annoyed that I had been working all day I almost cried. I had three missed calls from D hours ago. He must have gone already. I left without asking anybody.

Becky in the bathrub with her two babies. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t see the older girl behind the baby boy.

Two women in a shower sudsing each other. They had a taboo relationship like mother and daughter or something. One was saying something to the other as she bent her over and then realized she was alone and it was all an illusion.

With grandparents. They showed us the Scottish castle they inherited that they were turning into a water park. They put all their grandkids in a cage to take them there. The Scottish side of the family is very proper. The other side is annoying and intrusive.

9.12.15

Sleep during night since I'm off.

DR

Lol ok, so I'm living in a grocery store, more exactly on the end of one of the isles. I don't have any furniture or signs of me living there, but I feel like that's my home : ((((

I see an old singer tha I love walking by and I want him to sing. I don't know how to make that happen, so I start singing my favorite song by him in hopes that he will join me.

I'm aware that I'm horribly offkey, but my want to hear him sing trumps my embarrassement.

He does join me in singing and fills in the places where I don't know the lyrics. He seems to be humored by all this and again, I don't care. I'm just so happy and I can't wait to tell my mom that I sang with him, since he is her fave singer as well.

Then I went on thinking which other songs she would like played at her funeral : ((

When I woke up, I didn't remember this dream, but soon I started to sing this song in my head and then I remembered.

I was talking a vehicle somewhere.

I ended up in an area with a small body of water. It's treated like a pool but it's more like a flooded-in area. There are people taking a bath. There was also an area that was "guarded" by a lioness or some kind of feline creature. I was supposed to get something from there.

Morning of September 12, 2015. Saturday.



I have not posted that many infestation dreams, though I have had several per year since early childhood. It usually involves unusual unique-looking (but problematic) bugs getting into the house as well as mice in some versions.

In this case, our house is somewhat unidentified. It resembles our present one in some ways but seems to have features of our last home (on Barolin Street) as well.

The main scene involves large velvet ants crawling up one corner of a wall and mostly remaining near the ceiling, making a trail through the house, and going out through another corner. I spray them with a can of insecticide a few times (not that worried about the spray going back into my face), but this only seems to work near the end of my dream. There is also a point at which only one gets on my arm and latches on and I pinch it and pull it off. The sensations are quite realistic.

There are also some sort of unusual beetles (which can fly) in a fictional back room, approaching a doorway in a line, crawling over the top of some sort of built-in table or counter-top (though the room is like a large storage area). Eventually, I spray the middle of their main line and they stop forming larger groups.

Near the end of my dream, I notice large groups of different-colored mice in our living room. They are grouped by color. (A group of mice is apparently called “a mischief of mice”, though that is just a bit too silly to implement in my writing.) A large group of green mice crawls about to the right and red and blue units are to the left. There is also a smaller group of yellow mice in the foreground. For some reason, this strange scene does not trigger any degree of lucidity regardless of the intense vividness of the bug presence. In fact, it is rather “pretty” though still inherently problematic. There must be at least two hundred or more mice. Suddenly, as if just seeing me as a threat for the first time, they scramble, making a thunderous noise (and shaking the house itself) as they go off in divisions of their particular color and as I get the impression they are going back into the walls of our house. I am not too concerned, as I just do not want them inside the rooms of our house.

Dreams like this are often caused by being temporarily annoyed by people (though sometimes caused by fasting in too cold or too hot weather); in this case, an NBN worker hanging around close to our house all day (thanks to the NBN cabinet that was installed right near our house without any notice, right in the middle of the footpath - how stupid) and playing a car radio from prior to sunrise, the vehicle actually parked on our footpath as if he cannot walk that couple of extra feet when leaving the area. (I honestly do not know what is wrong with these people other than being completely thoughtless with no seeming respect for residents or any responsibility for their presence or unwarranted and unjust impositions or actions.)

Dream 1

I was at a party. I was getting drunk and stoned with some people I just met. We were talking and laughing the entire time. Eventually, I started talking to one of the girls a lot. She was white and had blonde hair and blue eyes. We hit it off, and I eventually ended up in her bed, fucking her. It was in the missionary position, and the nighttime.

Dream 2

I was working for an ice cream store in my hometown. There was a white, slightly plump girl there, who was apparently the boss. She was walking in and out of the store and telling a bunch of people what to do. For some reason, there were some workers outside, building something, it looked like. The boss was very mean, and kept telling everyone to hurry up. I also found out she was literally a monster in disguise as a human, and she started eating some of the workers. She just formed her giant monster mouth, and put it fully over them, and closed it, and ate them.

Eventually, after I had enough, I found a manhole that I wasn't supposed to go down, and went down it. I found an underground factory with many more workers working in unsafe conditions. I guessed they were underpaid, too. Soon, the boss came down to check up on the factory, and I hid behind the machinery. She talked to a worker, ate him, and went back up. I found a wrench and started sabotaging the machinery by smashing the wrench onto the machinery and jamming it in a few places. The boss came back down again soon after that, and started wondering what happened to her factory. I then sneaked up behind her and mauled her with my wrench. She died, and the workers were free. End of dream.

9.12.15

Night shifts and this night off. Dream before midnight, before alarm at 9:45pm

I woke up from it and recited all the details so I dont forget. Very detailed, vivid and intense. Sense of doom, but not scared, because I knew I'll be ok.

DR:
Traveling in some city in India with maybe 4-5 other people. We stop at a restaurant and we order something. I get a plate of maybe potatoes and grilled slices of fish. They are delicious, so crispy and flavorful. Everybody is waiting for me to finish eating and I wonder why they are not eating as well. Waiter motions to me to take the last piece of fish so he can take the plate. I get a drink of water too and it has a consistency of jelly watter.

Now we are someplace and skies are all orange from nearby erupting volcano. I look in that direction and I see a tall moountain in classic volacano cone shape. There are streams of lava approaching and pools of lava all over the place. Burning and smoking debris is falling and hitting the ground with force all around us, catching things like cars on fire.

We get in a van to get away, but lava gets to the wheels. We turn around to go with the flow of other cars, but it's just not working. The distraction is too great already, we maybe too late.

We ran into a large building. The wide stairwell in this bright and large-roomed office building are full of people rushhing upstairs. Suddenly everybody stopps listening for some silent news. I understand that we should be safe on the top levels, and I yell for everybody to get upstairs. The huge room in this typical indian office building (wut?) is full of sofas of all kinds. We all claim one sofa that we feel will be a safe floating device. We pick a nice leather one. We know it's not the safest one, but metal ones would also melt and we figure it's safe enough to float on a sea of lava to safety. : P

Our sofa starts moving by itself and it parks itself in a location. I don't get it and it freaks me out a bit, but I understand it's part of an evacuation process. I figure we should pick a place near some load-bearing wall, so if the building crumbles, we have a chance that our floor will stay standing. I tell somebody we should go look for that, but we are already next to the wall.

I walk on tops of some other sofas to get to the window. Window is like on a tropical window. No glass, just a large portion of the wall is not there. I see a small river or rather creek just below us. It's full of floating cows that are burned by the fire or lava. Their skin is burned to crisp in some places, tongues are hure, sticking out and still moving and cows are mooing in distress.

I feel our building moving and turning and I think the sea of lava got to us and we are floating on it. I'm surprised in didn't occur to me that the building may just collapse, but I chase that thought away and we continue on floating. The sensation of movement is very real.

D1 - House (groundless, sacral)
In a dark old house. Traditional house with front stairwell but pretty much in total darkness. Monster lurks in shadows feeding off me...only needs to move slowly as i'm captive prey.
It is darkness itself. I can see no eyes, only teeth and an outline
(like no face in spirited away but without face, maybe a cousin )
Shadows/darkness in house seem thick/alive. I escape but have to return everyday as it is my house.

I find help from someone and use stones (reference to new concepts) to throw at monster and keep them at bay. Hundreds of spiders now appear for me to fend off.
I decide the house is no longer somewhere for me to stay and I resolve to sleep outside in the open air, in the light.


Revelations:
I recognise the darkness as my negative self thoughts that I give my energies to.
Particularly my jealousy which is ever hungry (a strong synch here
(Jealousy of my past life experiences = nostalgia)
The light represents spending my energies on other things.

In a cafeteria. Talk to roommate about political issues. Roommate accuses me of being an anarchist.