non-lucid

6.11.15

afternoon sleep 3 pm - 6pm

Woke up from a dream with OpheliaBlue. I said yeeey, recalled it and fell asleep again. Now all I remember is that we were standing side by side, doing something, like cooking or fixing.

The Beat Up House
I'm taken to a house that's been mistreated. Some of the house has been ripped off. I walk inside and see the family that's inside. The inside looks decent, definitely doesn't look like the outside. Majority of the people are female. I think a couple of them find me attractive.

I'm now in an open area, and I think I'm trying to get the attention of one of the females.

Dream Fragment
I notice that my dog REX has pee'd on the end of my bed.

Indian Man Fails Driving Test
At home and some Indian kid is doing a license test. He fails. Think Dave is with me and said its hard to pass. I get back from eddy and Germaine I think, and I'm told that the Indian bloke had hit my car (xr6). I get home and check a computer that has stats from me. I tell the fellas I'm checking mine first, then I'll check Indians. Think the car was inside near robs room.

Dream fragment
I can see the layers of dirt on my face. I scrape it off with a card. There's a lot of dirt coming off of my face. Brother sees me doing in this.

Morning of June 11, 2015. Thursday.



This is a somewhat typical bus-riding dream in which my dream-self mostly remains passive and observant. Such dreams have occurred since early childhood with mostly the same features, but often with a singularly odd (often impossible) event. There is never a point where I get off the bus in most versions of this dream situation (although I sometimes seem to automatically shift or teleport to a different bus, or a different driver comes in). In this version I am vaguely aware of my present family status and the bus seems fairly crowded.

As usual, I have no idea where I am going, though also as usual, this issue is not mentally addressed (at least strongly) by my dream-self - I have a very nonchalant attitude considering I have no idea where I am or where the bus driver is headed. It seems the bus is just going around in a non-established route for the most part, though this does not seem problematic to any of the other passengers. It seems to be early afternoon and taking place mainly in a more commercial area of a larger city (such as either Brisbane in Australia or La Crosse, Madison, or Milwaukee in America, though I am not sure which - however, the bus driver is on the left from the passenger’s perspective so I should assume it is taking place in America, I suppose).

At one point, the bus driver apparently sees potential passengers that he had missed picking up on the other side of an intersection after he has turned a corner. The bus soon somehow effortlessly moves sideways (as if all the wheels rotated ninety degrees) and it travels as such to the other side of the wide street and stops near a traffic light for the other people to get on. This does not strike me as overwhelmingly odd (or in fact impossible), only slightly unusual and unexpected, but my dream begins to fade around this point.

I'm coming out of a mine with a box a man gave me. Sitting down at a table across from a woman I know who's eating lunch, I open up the box and we have a look at the books inside. There's a two-volume set on healing magic that catches my attention; I've seen the first one before but the second is completely new to me, I'm very pleased. The woman asks me for a demonstration, and I laugh, saying I've barely got any understanding of it - it's not something you can learn from books, they're just for pointing you in the right direction, it takes time and work to actually put into practice. She's disappointed and leaves. As I look through the book, I call up a blue healing light that plays around my hand. Reading, the book is saying that it's impossible to progress further without "the Lady's smile."

I see an image of said Lady, a woman in a void. She's aware of my attention, though her eyes don't focus on me; she talks as if this is a visit from an old friend, sounding surprised and pleased, saying that I've come earlier this week than expected, and calls me by a name that starts "Shari-" But she cuts off partway through that name, and gives the impression of focusing on me, though still not with her eyes. She says then, "Isfael? Is that you?"

The observer side of me splits off, recognizing that this Lady and Shari-whoever are figures that often appear in stories together under various identities. When she correctly called me Isfael, I realized that Isfael is one of those identities, a specific young version of Shari-whoever without knowledge of his older self.

I closed my eyes and slowly started hearing voices of people i know while seeing a scene of myself on the bed and transparent figures talking to each other in the room.I than woke myself up which was a bit hard since i was paralyzed. But than I decided to just go back into the dream which i did. I couldn't move again and heard voices and felt people in the room that were there before. After that I believe I lay there and waited till another scene came.

The next scene I was non lucid inside a school for kids. I was walking the girls with another teacher to a auditorium. We made it to the stairs where the girls found a hole to the next bottom stairs. We had to go down so they mentioned how they wanted to go through and just did it. I didn't think it was such a good choice but i felt there was no other way down. After that I think the hole was bigger or i went around and managed to meet with the girls. We all went to an auditorium filled with party things and other teachers. I leaped onto a platform or table and noticed a star hanging on the side of a desk. It was a big yellow star that looked cute.

But the teacher who hanged it mentioned how it looked awful. When I looked back at it it was wrinkly and not bright yellow anymore. More like a mucky yellow. I told her that it looked great and not to worry about it. After that the dream shifted i think.

Anyways at a point I realized i was dreaming and started flying around the sky. An explosion occurred in the sky though and characters began shouting like they were having fun. I flew out the explosion with my arms in front of me and made myself have pink energy all around. I was looking at myself from a far view perspective until it got back to normal. I than thought about how i wanted someone who i was familiar with in the dream to rescue me. I thought about bringing Dawn inside the dream as I was flying.

Than I think that is when he or someone else came. It was a familiar feeling but i couldn't see them. The person was transparent although obviously a guy because of his voice. I held onto the person as we were flying and he started showing me a scene unfolding of stars that rotated than flashed a light in a night sky. I told him I've never seen stars that moved like that but it looked cool. He said he liked it too. Than he showed me the scenery with small pictures of cartoon people around happy and in positions where they look like their doing different things. Than I saw lots of pretty colors and patterns as he was flying me.

That's when I noticed he looked like he had the pattern of colorful sky clouds(Have a blanket like that for my birds) and he was somewhat shaped like a pillow but more oval on the top. I had my knees on the pillow and held his pillow shoulders. I don't know if you can imagine that though but think of it as if your pretending you have a pillow car. Anyways I asked what kind of being he was when i saw that and than we arrived at my parents bedroom.I hugged him to try and get a feel of who he was and he changed his form from pillow to transparency.

I asked him again who he was than the scene shifted and i saw my parents bedroom how it looked when the room was in full and not split. I couldn't see myself but he was showing me the room saying we were friends that played here a long time ago. I than noticed a transparent person appearing in the room. Except they looked like they were on the floor trying to fix something. I tried to wake myself up because he started showing me things like a few creepy dream characters i met before. I ended up paralyzed on my bed and told him to stop taking control. But he ended up showing me a picture frame with white curve lines around the rectangular frame. There were tiny chibi looking kids around the pic. Than he made me put the piece of a tiny little boy chibi person to complete the puzzle on the picture.

I got a feeling that I wanted to do that but wanted to wake up even more. I than reappeared on the bed and heard a t.v. on. I also felt my dad was in the next room. I tried getting up but could only open one eye.I felt that maybe the scene was really happening now but than i reappeared on the bed.After i waited for a bit I manged to get out the dream by thought and woke up.

EDIT: It had to be Dawn. P

First dream - nightmare

I was in school. I was in the classroom, sitting in front of the teacher - a bald man with mustache. There were other students in the classroom. I asked if I can go to the toilet, he agreed so I went out of the classroom. I was alone at the corridor, heading towards the toilet.

When I opened the door, I saw that the lights were on, but as I made one step they turned off. I closed the door and opened them again, and the situation was the same. Then I think "Is this school haunted?" Suddenly a DC janitor appears. A brunette woman in janitor suit, with glasses. She tells "This school is haunted." and goes away. She said it, like it was obvious to everyone.

I thought "Even if there's hell inside, I'll do this!" I entered the dark toilet. As I started to pee, suddenly red light started to flicker, walls and floor tiles started to crack. School trembled and the walls bleed. I finished my thing and went back to the classroom. I looked at the clock and saw that it was late evening, but then I looked at the clock again, and saw that I should go to take a bus back home.

I went to the cloakroom. There were some girls taking their stuff and going out. I came closer to my locker. It had padlock made of rolled paper. I opened it, and saw that I have loads of old, useless junk in my locker. I couldn't find my shoes. I took all the stuff and went out to a car. I looked at the driver. He was wearing gray hoodie, and he wasn't looking at the road. However, he was a great drver.

Second dream

I was on a backstage of a circus. Someone was talking about the place. He started from talking about clowns working there - batman, a clown with black, fake mustache in bat suit; crabman, a clown with blonde mustache in crab suit; and spiderman, a clown with brown mustache in spider suit. They were running around like crazy. There were huge crowds cheering from the tribunes.

Then he told about a murder bug "Whomever may touch it, may he rest in peace.". A sad and frightening melody played in the background as he said about the bug. Then a dude looking like Eric from "Sweet 70's" TV show appeared, and show control switches of the circus.

He pointed at one and said "This is a lunch button. We choose one person from the crowd, and give it a free lunch. This week we have a special offer. If you have three nipples, you can come over to us. There's a free lunch waiting for you!"

Work meeting
I'm in a meeting with Miguel and some others. They're discussing a problem which seems simple to me, and I try to keep suggesting a solution, but they're all arguing so much they can't hear me. Eventually, I get my point through, and they consider it.

Later, I'm talking to Tom. He says he wants to talk more about it and suggests an 8AM meeting for tomorrow. I think that's too early for a meeting, but I agree to it since it's Tom.

I've convinced a man to throw himself on the king's mercy. A friend had been offering to get him to safety, he knew some people who could help with that, and the man had been considering it; but I'd spoken to the king and I promised him it would work out, so he stayed.

But now that we're actually standing before the throne, the king decides to have him executed. This was not the deal. This brat, spoiling things on a whim; part of me is furious, but part of me just finds this whole situation ridiculous, that these humans allow themselves to be ruled by a man like him. I imagine speaking out, see an image of it, but in reality I say nothing, just wait for the audience to end. Now I'll have to try to sneak the man out. I should have just let him run while he could.

Talking with others, there's something we need from the palace which we haven't been able to locate. Someone points out that there's a private wing that contains the royal suite, but also other rooms of unknown purpose - process of elimination, what we need must be there. We agree to make that private wing our destination for now, and someone makes a joke about how we can wave at the timeline of our original plan as it passes us by, we've gotten so far off course.

This a weird one.

I met someone from a previous dream last night. She was sitting in her apartment, which I have no memory of entering, and did not appear in the least bit surprised to see me.

She told me that it's very rare for us to meet, as dreams take place in many worlds - so many that we were unlikely the exact same people who met in the previous dream despite the both of us having memories of interacting with each other. With this in mind she simply wanted to enjoy the pleasure of my company while she could, which we did: we talked and played and looked out of her window and generally just enjoyed being with each other for an indeterminate length of time. When time came for me to leave, I requested that we exchange details so that we might find each other later, which she agreed to despite acknowledging the futility of doing so.

I can't remember her name.

It's difficult to describe this experience except that it felt like I was a non-lucid part of someone else's lucid dream , her lucid dream specifically. I was in my standard non-lucid haze, but she seemed entirely more in focus and more real.

After leaving her apartment, I found myself in what I'm going to call the Nexus: a long corridor of doors, somehow with the implicit understanding that each door lead to other dreams. If I were lucid I would have taken full advantage of the possibilities as I've been attempting to replicate a similar effect in what little lucid dreams I've actually had, but as the situation was, I just went directly for a door that felt vaguely familiar.

What was inside was a tortured, mutated, horrifying version of someone else I'd met. So I closed the door, and sometime later I woke up.

Piloting a spacecraft, in orbit close to another star. It is by no means a very large star, though, like a red dwarf. The spacecraft I am piloting looks a little bit like this.



The star starts expanding/exploding and we have to get away by flying the ship and dodging planets and asteroids. I don't remember too much of what happened for a good majority of the escape, but when we got past the last planet the cloud reformed into a new, much larger star. There was some explanation to this like the star was going through a metamorphosis or something.

We had to go to a wedding on this alien planet. The wedding for some reason took place in this really dingy industrial building on a barren rocky planet. I remember we were inside of this green nebula and the night sky on this planet was green and full of exceptionally bright stars.

The wedding was between this giant alien mushroom and blob monster. (I couldn't tell what one was the groom/bride.) I don't recall too much going on in this scene either. I think Manei was present.

We got called to return to earth, but then the Tardis appeared. A much older version of myself appeared and claimed to be Doctor Who. I think he then died. We used the Tardis for transportation to return to earth.

When we got back we were in a city. It was nighttime and rainy and it seemed as though the city had been evacuated. Godzilla appeared and he started spitting water instead of radiation breath. Somebody told me that we had been called back to stop him.

Morning of June 10, 2015. Wednesday.



I am in a non-lucid state, though the setting is extremely well-rendered and most of it clearer even though it is mostly unfamiliar. My wife and family and I are living in a different type of building and had apparently moved here recently. The (fictional) residence has the typical “impossible” apartment-related situation that I have dreamt of all my life - where strangers are present in what would be almost the same living space. At one point, I am aware of an unknown older male on the other side of the main large room. Our living area is only divided from his by a curtain that hangs down to about four inches from the floor. I am fixing this curtain arrangement (for more privacy) while sitting on the floor, by pulling it fully down, as part of the bottom edge was draped over a cardboard box higher up (about a foot or so).

At one point, I am using a screwdriver to scrape up old soap residue from a floor tile and as I do, the tile actually comes off, though I manage to align it back where it should be. The appearance and movement (and manual effort) is very realistic.

I also find some toys that the last tenants left behind, some smaller toy cars in a bag, which I think I will put on my youngest son’s large (fictional) table for a pleasant surprise.

In the last stage of my dream, which is very clear, there are several large radios (or boomboxes) set up along the wall for some reason, all side by side on a large table. After a short time, they all start playing at the same time, fairly loudly, and mostly different songs (at least four). I think one song is Fats Waller and another a country song, possibly George Strait. I am annoyed because the radios seem to have been connected to some sort of timing system by the previous tenants and I cannot work out what to do with the setup. I am also somewhat embarrassed (as I do not want to be seen as making so much noise on purpose, as we had just moved in recently relative to my dream’s back story), as the other tenant is home, though I do not go through the curtain to his side at any point.

I try pushing the buttons and after a time, when I turn one radio off, another comes back on and this goes on for several minutes (so that it seems impossible to have all turned off at the same time) - and I am thinking that some sort of cable system (linked with a timer) is connected to all of them and they will play at certain times no matter what you do. It is somewhat amusing in conscious afterthought. The clarity of the power indicator lights is quite precise. This is similar to situations where I cannot turn all the lights off, which I have read in other people’s journals where they are experiencing the exact same details in the same way and with the same associations.

I was in my old school, in the sports hall. People were playing random games, like football, table tennis etc. I decided to go back home, as nothing interesting is happening there. I ran straight the road, leaving crossroad and an old shop behind, and ran into my frontyard. It was cold, cloudy afternoon.

Somehow, I knew have to run up to the fields. When I finally got there, I saw my father in a tractor with machine to dig out potatoes plugged in. Then I spotted a couple lying on that machine. A redhead girl and a brunette dude. Suddenly a hidden chainsaw in the machine started to move towards them.

*Close up of the chainsaw* and then the machine broke. Couple nowhere to be found. I ran closer to the tractor, and told my father that the machine is broken. He drove to take a trailer, and appeared back after a long while. With family we started to pick up potatoes to baskets, and threw them on the trailer.

A woman's coming out of my workroom, which she'd stepped into to give herself some space, taking a break from our conversation. The things I've been telling her have been disturbing her. There's another man here who'd tried to get me to tone it down, break it to her more gently if at all, he didn't understand why I was pushing her like this; but I'd ignored him.

Now that she's back, I see she's taken something from my workroom, two long dull knives which are smeared with a kind of colorless substance. I'm alarmed. I assume she must know what they are or she wouldn't have taken them, but I can't believe she'd be holding them like that if she really understood - I tell her, "This is the substance you - the real you - uses to mark her new bodies, don't-"

She uses the substance to mark the skin of her forearms. She's saying something about why she's doing this, some kind of statement of defiance, but I'm not really listening - I'm horrified, I got to my feet and grabbed her by the shoulders as if I could stop her, but that's pointless; I just need to make her understand this thing that she's done, trapping herself in a single body, how wrong and unnatural this is. The body still won't age, but someday it will fail, and she'll still be tied to it, and she'll die - not just this small version of her who doesn't remember what she is, but the real her will die, something that should never have happened. The death of something that should have existed always. I can't begin to explain to her how horrific this is, the shock and sense of loss; in the end I'm just repeating, "This will kill you, this will kill you, you will die from this," as though if I just emphasize it enough she'll understand the significance of it. She doesn't understand, but she's beginning to see just how horrified I am.

It was cold and grim afternoon. I recall only the sky - gray and stark. There were a few clouds, giving the view some mystery. It slowly became darker, storm clouds started to gather. They moved quicker and quicker, suddenly it started to rain, and thunders shoot across the sky, illuminating the dark gray background with blue and red colours.