non-lucid

Morning of April 21, 2014. Monday.



This was a very long and convoluted dream (nearly novel-length) with many scenes and aspects. I will try to include mostly only the main scenes, yet even so, it will end up being a much larger entry. They do seem like completely separate parts upon first look, but I did not wake during any part which actually seemed to continue from the previous.

In one, my family and I are in the house at Stadcor Street in Brisbane. However, it also has a general look of the first floor (where the owners lived) of the boarding house on King Street. This is mostly relative to the additional windows and side door. There is a powerful storm of heavy rain, leaves, and wind. It seems that it will be very destructive. I notice our youngest son and youngest daughter outside (although very close to the window and under the eaves, so seemingly safe from the main downwards force) and yell for them to come into the house. They somehow come into the kitchen from outside (fictional entrance) and I then notice that the weather is actually uneventful now - and it is as if the “storm” was only somehow a vertical “layer” in one area or perimeter. A few other people are around then, mostly unknown. My wife’s brother Simon and his old girlfriend show up with laptop computers in the kitchen. I have my own computer, but oddly, it is able to change into different forms based on what website you go to or what commands you send. For example, at one point, it is only like a thin piece of vinyl which I continue to use as such. I complain to Simon about how the browser changes everything and how it is hard to type on thin, wavy surfaces, as well as the overall concept of typing on a sheet of plastic seeming utterly idiotic and problematic regardless of its “more advanced” status. Apparently, after a few more commands or particular website view, my original large monitor will rise up, self-built, and be “normal” again and the keyboard will revert to a normal one.

Later, I am outside at what almost seems like a rummage sale or garage sale setup, but hardly anyone is there. I meet with an old friend, David S (the place seems to be his), and we sit at a large makeshift table. We get into talking about our school days and he shows me some copies of schoolwork he still has that is still in the notebook. The writing is rather sparse over the page and seemingly in different styles. I ask him about where he went to school during certain time periods, which does not make much sense as he supposedly did not go to my school in the earlier years but only in the higher grades. The reality is actually the opposite of my dream’s conversation.

Later, I seem to be in the community center near Schuh Homes (where blocks of housing looked so much the same from one to the next, I never worked out how people could find their own house or even the right street), where I had only been once in real life for a group rummage sale. A few classmates from my early years are there, including Susan R (the “other”) yet again. I have this strange blue static electricity coming out of me in larger bolts, which sometimes happens in dreams with Susan. However, we are all still only in our early teens. My wife is also there. Susan’s mother tells me that I am married and there can be only one Yin and Yang, so I should not approach her, as the universe has been formed as such and it would cause a greater imbalance and thus cause people’s minds to shift into a more chaotic and “unaware” state than they already are in. (In reality, she is also married but still living in Florida according to two other people I know.) However, I still talk to her for awhile. The blue lightning continues to move about from my body, mostly from the palms of my hand, fingers, and arms, sometimes breaking a window. She is crying for some reason, probably more out of strange memories of the so-called paranormal (or perhaps my supposed “tampering with the timeline” - very curious and coincidental that Facebook has something called a “timeline” now and this is how I found out about her present-day status - thus once again a childhood dream is “resolved”), assuming the “selective amnesia” and “veil” has not become a major part of her thinking as with most.

There is a short, bizarre scene later on where an unknown male is pretending to be a newborn baby to somehow get access to (or eventually inherit) a younger female’s wealth. As she is driving the convertible and holding him, she seems to realize he is not actually a baby (due to how long his body is - not sure how she is able to hold him horizontally across her lap and drive at the same time) and soon throws him out of the car onto the street. He is annoyed but somehow uninjured, and is then planning his next move, which is integrated into the next odd scene.

Later, my wife and family and I are living in some sort of odd composite of Cubitis and the (rotated - perpendicular to real orientation) Stadcor Street house - which later has features of my sister’s house in La Crosse. We have a very large front yard that has mostly a gritty sandstone surface. Somehow, the house next door (where the aforementioned con artist lives) seems to integrate into at least one room of our house (a fairly common dream distortion). It is a tad confusing, as I am not sure where the other person’s room ends and mine (relative to my childhood bedroom) begins. There is a curtain that can be drawn across one doorway but I am not sure if my room continues around the corner of that area of the house, as I do not even know what items are mine. There are a lot of items on the floor there (so many that you would not be able to walk through without stepping on something or knocking something aside). It reminds me vaguely of the armory (actually used as a game room) in Arcadia. I notice several even stacks of playing cards on the floor - with the design on the back that shows a drawing of a “flapper girl” in an intricate web-like design around an oval framing her, from about the waist up. She is drinking from a cocktail glass and seen slightly from the side (but not in profile). The design appears in at least two colors. It almost looks like two people had been playing a game of “War” (in the card game sense).

Eventually, when I am outside, an eighty-year-old lady starts talking to me. Apparently, I have a lot of various small items of hers that somehow blew into our front yard. However, the con artist next door has a lot more of her possessions that were taken deliberately. I look down and notice an old pair of smaller attached identical postage stamps that are a grayish green and seemingly showing Queen Elizabeth in profile. This may or may not belong to the older lady. I do give her some things, which are different stamps and a few other items (including a pen, I believe). Her dog is also in the other yard, but I cannot get to it from where I am.

Later, the other male has two smaller moose heads in the game-trophy-type design, which are not actually real moose heads, but some sort of antique novelty whereby the mouth opens and a man and woman move about in a circle on a platform, as with a novelty clock. One is slightly bigger than the other. He puts them on the wall right next to each other, decides it does not look quite right, and arranges them differently (this is similar to a previous dream where people were not quite satisfied with paintings put up too close together).

Eventually, I discover skin coming off the palm of my right hand as it is sore and red at first (possibly caused by the blue lightning coming out from earlier or in handling some of the antique novelty items). However, it seemingly soon turns out to be “worse” than first thought - but that concern passes. Without much effort in trying to get the extra skin off that is flaking around the wound, the rest of the entire skin of my hand and fingers comes off in one larger opaque “sheet”, but like a light soft layer of fine material. It then seems okay and not what was originally believed. My hand looks perfectly healed and fresh underneath.

Finally, a recurring image; a human “eye” that is actually made up of a black “fetal sack” (or some sort of developing “egg”) as the pupil, and lightning forming parts of the pattern of the iris, with the sclera being the less defined “background noise” of the path of an individual. This represents the human eye as attaining particular forms of focus (via “lightning”) and processed into the “egg” of the individual - until one’s mind is more aware.

Night of 4/19/14


In a mall
Big suze from peep show is having a seminar on how to be a kindergarten teacher, a friend is there attending the lesson
I am late to something again, (possible dream sign?)
have to sit in an office chair in one of the shops and do coursework

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My dad was in an accident and is now mentally handicapped; he wont be able to pay for college.

It's been a little while since I last recorded a dream (almost a month in fact). Luckily, I had a big burst of recall this morning, remembering one specific dream in vivid detail. Don't know what caused it to spike back up, but I was on a trip, so I did sleep somewhere other than home.

I went to school with my girlfriend (yeah, throwing in the big dream signs already). This school was a mish-mash of various real life and fictional places, though mostly real life. When my girlfriend and I arrived at the school, we both went to our separate classes. It was shaping up to be a very good day, because both John and Hank Green (of Vlogbrothers fame) came to our class and chose me to interview them in front of the students. I had to prepare my questions, while they went off to a separate room to wait. As I was preparing, a couple of students started messing with me and really began to piss me off. Eventually it got to the point where I shoved one of them out of my personal space and began yelling at the entire class, telling them they're all a bunch of jerks and they have no respect.
At this point, obviously, I was quite embarrassed! So I ran out of the classroom, not knowing where to go. I decided to try to find my girlfriend to tell her what all happened, but when I found her, I got even more upset since she was giving most of her attention to some guy named Cody. This just wasn't my day! I ran away from that too and started hiding in various parts of the school, occasionally running away if the principal was near. This is where it started to get even more odd. As I was wandering through the school, I stumbled into none other than Auron from Final Fantasy X (and wouldn't you know it, I bought the HD remaster a few days ago). Auron ended up giving me good advice and told me not to feel bad about it all.
"Just apologize. Go back in there and be cool about it."
I gave him my thanks, feeling a lot better. So, of course, I took his advice to the letter and ran back to the class, apologizing in front of everyone and going back to my seat to prepare for my interview with John and Hank Green.

What a graceful dream THAT was. Lots and lots of running and hiding. Moral of the story: Final Fantasy X cheers me up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I am with a group of friends at the entrance of an abandoned factory, which is supposed to be haunted. Some big disaster happened here and many workers died and the place was sealed. There is only one entrance and once inside we have to go through a labyrinth of corridors and rooms with no other emergency exit. The place is so eerie. It is stopped in time, it is dead, it is outside of our dimension. Some of us stay behind, because it is increasingly uncomfortable as we go forward. At some point we star hearing voices and seeing shadows and every body freezes ad is unable to go on when the corridor makes a 90º turn to the left. I know there's something after the turn, I can feel it, but we did come to see what's there, so I gather all my courage and go around the corner and further into the corridor. I see some really dark shades and feel the presences of those ghosts. It is so creepy, the hair on the back of my head raises and I just want to run away. I turn around and return to close to my friends. We decide to not go any further, because we feel it gets darker and darker from there onwards. Instead, we find a room full of valuable stuff that was left in the factory as it was. We start selecting and collecting into bags to take away with us. But the creepy sounds increase and seem to be getting closer and closer. Some guys outside the room tell us we should leave now, they sound scared. We rush to the door, the noises seem like a hord of monsters is coming in our direction. When we get closer to the entrance we came in, there's a lot of debris blocking half the passage. Other friends outside stick their heads inside and tell us that apparently some ghosts have been trying to cut our way out. We start rushing outside, climbing the debris, but I am attracted to a door, a bit behind us. I go back and stop at this closed door, just listening. I hear voices of people inside, going about their work, as if nothing had ever happened to them. I felt they didn't want to hurt us, they just wanted us out of there. They were trapped in that eternal forever and we were strange disruptive energies they were simply trying to shoo away. They let us take the objects with us, as long as we leave for good. They seem to be in peace now.

All 4 of my grandparents are alive and fit and well.
I see my mums parents a lot more as my dad's are always on holiday and I get the feeling his mum doesnt like me very much. His dad however is one of the loveliest people you could ever meet, a true gentleman who always opens doors for me, pulls my chair out at tables, puts my coat on for me etc. My mums dad is lovely as well, I get on so well with him we always laugh and joke together.

Anyway I dreamt last night that my dad's dad had died. Yet my mums dad had also died as well but not both of them, its really weird to explain, probably because I call both of them "Grandad" and of course I was absolutely devastated and at the time I knew it was just one of them but somehow it was both. It was horrible as i'm so close to both of them in real life.
I then went out somewhere to do a job, or it might have been college i can't remember, but I wanted to be let off doing the work by saying he had died but didnt want to actually say it
I can't stop thinking about them dying now.
Luckily (I guess) my mums parent's came over today for Easter so I got to see my Grandad and gave him a massive hug
I love them all so dearly

A setting based on the early 1900s. I'm sitting at a dinner table, with my POV character's mother sitting somewhere to my right, and a woman who I'm having an intense argument with to my left, at the foot of the table. We argue frequently, I enjoy it; and I realize that although we're stating how much we hate each other, we're using words usually associated with passion or love.

Dinner's over, the woman is gone, but my mother and I are still in the same room, standing now. I'm talking about breaking my engagement to someone else. I've never met the girl I'm engaged to - she lives in (either New York or Boston, can't remember which - I thought of it as far away), and our fathers had arranged it between themselves, before my father died. My mother is warning me about possible consequences. She describes the girl's father as "the power behind the throne."

Early dream: I saw people leaving a church and then the Pasteur went to the back end and blessed two corpses that were in coffins; One on her left that was rancid in a lot of ways and was in a wooden box or crate rather than a fancy coffin, The other on her right (was) in a coffin (and was not rancid.) I then talked to her and later it appeared that I did something else alone but that's not posted here.

EDIT, UPDATE 19-9-2014: Two people who I met who went to church died this year. Are they the two mentioned in the dream? Do I know which is which, if so?

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I also saw a neighbor of mine (A man named Bob Wilson) then later he was in my house and he had to leave through the front door.

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Much later I dreamed of being in Church and thinking of the recent, Prior dream I had of the Pasteur while there along with another one (From 2013) in which I dreamed of her smoking marijuana with a painter (Which I wonder if it applies now in ways it did then,) And then I was facing backwards towards the entrance/exit to the church building; Then a man in a peach colored (Or somewhat colored like that) coat walked up and handed to me a golden trophy and I was wondering if it was really meant for me and I was wondering if it was a mistake, And I voiced my thoughts of the matter.

___

Then I (Or "I") was in a building stealing something and after various things I tried getting out of the building by a window; I thought I saw myself fall to the ground in the bushes dead but that must have been something else unless it's symbolically a body that left me. The stuff I had stolen was stuck around my neck rendering me unable to move, And I was caught; The SWAT team found me next to an open window. One of the guys asked me what I'd like to do; Live or Die and I said Live which he said he liked because it saves energy and I said "I agree", Then he or they said to call my employer who put me up to this and I called and it ended with getting to my mother's work place answering machine which I didn't hear the recording fully in-dream but I thought it was re-routed so my mother would be framed. Yet at the same time, if it is her I shouldn't listen to any lies.

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Well I posted it this way at least...?

i am walking down the street. there are some people at the end of the street. they start to mess with me, so i tell them to go to hell. they open a door next to me, i walk through the door and i start fighting with them. suddenly
a gas tube appears in the middle of the road. suddenly gas smoke starts to leak out of it. all of them run through the previous door, leaving me behind. the gas tube is getting larger and larger. i look around and find a small tunnel beside me. i jump into the tunnel, then i crouch because the tunnel is to short. the tube is still leaking deadly smoke. i move to the other side of the tunnel, then i jump out of the tunnel. deadly smoke is not leaking anymore.
my grandmother appears out of nowhere. she asks me how i came here. suddenly i look at my hand and find out i am..........DREAMING!! everything is crystal clear and real. i am calm. my grandmother says something, but i ignore her. i suddenly want to teleport to the mall. i start to spin and find my self in the void, then i try visualizing the mall. it wont work. i close my eyes........CRAP!! now i am in sleep paralysis, after some seconds i wake up.
---------d----a------m-----n----------m---a---n--------t---h---i--s--------w---a---s------a------f---u---c---k--e--d----u--p---------l--u--c--i--d --------d--r--e--a--m--------------------
i have done the same mistake before....

i was a member of a little village who worked in an in. The leader was one of my friends from high school who I remember being exceptionally smart. I was checking some guests into the place when the view shifted to third person.

There was a woman with white hair wearing a grayish-blue dress. She was barking a few men orders to attack the village because the leader did something to her that was unforgivable, therefore she was going to ruin the village and everyone in it.

Somehow, the leader got word and demanded that a shelter be built for all of the citizens. They made it out of ice (it looked like a igloo from the outside). He ushered everyone into the place, which was actually quite large in the inside of it.

When the woman caught word that there was a shelter, she decided that she would just have to go there herself and destroy it.

A villager in the shelter asked if it would hold up. The leader said, "Yes. It's made of ice and the queen's only power is that of ice. None of her powers would be effective against us. Rest easy."

Things that stand out:

• People from high school
• Magical powers
• Snow setting (I don't live in a place with lots of snow)
• Different time

It was a holiday (either Thanksgiving or Easter) and some of my family from my mom's side came over to celebrate at my grandparent's house. After eating dinner, we decided to watch a movie that my aunt had recently bought.

I found it strange that my mom wasn't with us, so I wondered aloud where she was. Apparently she was in the hospital with some kind of serious sickness. They were worried that she wouldn't make it. I started to cry but my grandma rushed over and hugged me.

After the movie, we all decided to go to the park. My mom was there and I rushed over to her to see if she was okay. They apparently let her out and she had figured that we would've been at the park so she came ahead.

Things that stand out:

• My mom
• Family (I didn't know a lot of them)
• Deadly sickness

I was sitting at a large circle table in an office that reminded me of the one I sat at when I was working with the Newspaper. There were some people there that I recognized from High School sitting towards the left side, while I was more center-focused.

A girl that I was once pretty good friends with sat down beside me. She looked over at me after awhile with concern in her eyes and apologized. I asked her why she was apologizing to me when she hadn't done anything wrong and then motioned to the people sitting on the left side of the table.

I looked over toward them and they were staring at me, laughing. They were making fun of me and I overheard them saying some choice things about me. I rolled my eyes and pretended that I didn't notice. My old friend told me that what they were saying wasn't true and that I shouldn't listen to them.

Things that stand out:

• People from high school

i dreampt i had relapsed a long time ago so i had just said fuck it i mine as well try acid now. so i went on a covert search for acid trying to figure out who i could call. meanwhile i was back in teh 7th grade classroom (which seems to be a reocurring theme) with ms.Aveson who was going around asking us to come up with metaphors. my metaphors sucked and i read the words out of the book the wrong way.

anyway i was with like these 2 dudes in a hotel room and i had fed them this red pil which was supposed to give them energy or something stupid. the only thing is the pill, you had to like melt it into the wall and then it would (not sure this can even be explained) somehow go into their mouth. the first guy was fine. but the second guy i didnt melt it into the wall and put it directly into his mouth, and he immediatley passed the fuck out. i tried to wake him up for a long time using everything i could but nothing was working. i grabbed his balls and that seemed to work. he woke up real fast and was like "dude did u just grab my balls" and i was like "yup"

the other weird part of the dream was that i was in this huge field with all these kreepy lil fucking anaimals that i dont even think are real. one of the animals was this lil black and white rodent with a pointed kinda face, sharp teeth and claws, that was just trying to kill everything. i told that lil fucker to stop after he went after this really cute cat. i chased him and saw him closing in on the cat who had gone into a bathroom stall. then this hunter who comes out of no where shoots the lil muthe fucker. immmediatley his whole pelt comes off and i ask the hunter if i can keep the skin.. he says yes. i ask em. what kinda animal was this. and hes like "its a bear cat'

which made me go "ohhhh" becasue earlier in the dream, the lil rodent had found a flyer of himself and asked "what is a bearcat".

I was spending the weekend at my mom's after coming home for the weekend. The house was located in a jungle-like setting, with a color palette of pinks and greens. The main color of the house was tan, but had different colored designs painted around it.

Mom wanted to get out and explore because this was a new house and she hadn't gotten the chance since moving in. I followed her around the place and saw trees that kind of reminded me of the ones that bananas grow on. Near one of the trees, she spotted about six little eggs laying on the ground.

When she moved out of the way, I inspected them myself. A few, but not all, were cracked, so I was curious as to whether or not there were any baby birds inside of them. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something blue wiggling about. I took a closer look and saw what looked to be spiraled pipe cleaners laying a ways from the eggs. This was supposed to a bird, but it looked like an Unknown (pokemon) with an orange beak and blue feathers.

Things that stood out:

• School (I was home for the weekend)
• Mom (appears a lot in dreams)
• A jungle setting (I don't live anywhere near a jungle)
• Eggs (some shattered)

UH so let's see, already wrote part of this dream down but now it's the day after I had it, oh well I'll post it real quick

Dream - Coastal School
So I dreamed I was wandering around this one odd abandoned school (or maybe just closed for the night) on the coast of some beach. I went into this nursery sort of area and found a plastic dinosaur that I for some reason found to be incredibly nostalgic. I picked it up and examined it: half of me was thinking that it was great to be reunited with this totally familiar dinosaur from my childhood, while the other half was surprised by how unfamiliar it seemed. I couldn't seem to remember having a stegosaurus toy with that tan/orange coloration in the sort of rearing position it was frozen in, but the nostalgic feeling was overwhelming. I couldn't help but be happy to see it.

Then, in the same area, the dream switched to third person and I started observing Redwall characters (for those of you that haven't read the books, it's a series about anthropomorphic animals like mice and squirrels set in Medieval times). I watched as a hare (one of the good guys) with an injured leg stumbled ashore, pursued by various rats (bad guys). He managed to evade them until he ended up cornered by two rats with his back to a door in the wall. With nowhere else to go, he managed to duck through.

Inside was warm and well-lit by a fireplace, and a rather strong-looking otter (good guy) sat in an armchair reading. There was another creature nearby, maybe a bird, who was a friend of the otter, but I can't remember details about him. The otter looked up to see the injured hare stumble in and then collapse on his floor after only a few steps, then saw the two rats starting to enter. Having apparently sized up the situation, he started to get up, saying "I know what's going in the stew tonight" (good guy?) as he started to move towards the rats. And then I'm not sure what happened next. I just remember knowing for a fact that this powerful, cultured otter, with his well-kept home, was about to kill and eat two rats who supposedly deserved it. I'm not sure how that made me feel.

April 20, 2014, Dream #2: I am hanging out in the third floor on-call room of a hospital along with some medical student with a longish face who is wearing a white lab coat. The room has floor-to-ceiling windows and looking outwards through the windows I can see directly and clearly into an administrative-type office with five women in it, one floor below and perhaps thirty feet away. The women are dressed in business attire and approximately 25 years old each. They all know each other and are comfortable together, like good friends or BFF’s. Two of them start to kiss fairly passionately, to the amusement of the other three. I continue to watch, also amused, not shocked or disturbed by this in any way.

There comes a moment where one woman notices me watching, and calls it to the attention of the others. I give them a wave, “intentionally coy” to convey the non-verbal expression of “I see/caught you” and also simultaneously conveying my non-judgmental amusement, identical to their own.

One of the five women is kind of hefty, but quite pretty. She is the one who picks up an old-style corded phone receiver from the desk, and calls into our on-call room. The phone she uses is plain black and has the old-style illuminated clear plastic push-buttons for switching between multiple lines. She clearly knows of our room, where it is in the building, and that it looks down into their own office. She obviously also knows the extension to reach us. I answer the phone. Her voice is not clear. It is breaking up like a bad cell phone connection, yet I understand that she is asking me if I would like to come down and meet her. I am married, but I don’t tell her that for the reason I am saying no. I just tell her “no, not right now.”

When the conversation ends, I turn to the medical student/ resident in the lab coat and ask him if he wants to come with me on rounds to see the post-op patients, write orders and pull chest tubes while Dr. T*** is in the operating room. He says no. I say, no problem, I remember what the work load was like while I was in medical school and I can sympathize with how tired and overworked/overwhelmed one can get by the program load and testing. I wake.