side notes

I'm not sure if I actually dreamed this but....

A bunch of puppies are eating a big pile of bones.

7:54 AM

#1: Two guys inside of a movie, something about Indians. Maybe a Western movie?

#2: A music video about an anime girl obsessed with this guy. Possibly a yandere. Maybe there was a kiss scene?

#3: We’re staying at my sister’s house. Apparently we’re given three pieces of candy to eat for our stay. The details changed a bit to include a piece of chicken, and when mom says “that won’t be enough”, a bowl of cereal for breakfast was edited in.

9:27 AM

There’s a candy or bakery shop. Mom gets some candy but I accidentally delete it or something. I try to remember how to get it back. I remember leaning over a tub full of some soapy water and pressing my fingers together trying to remember how, and manage to make the water increase.

I’m in a room and have a clear sealed bag of handy. Apparently I managed to get her pieces of chocolate into the top of it. Either the bag rings or she gets a call in the other room, and I take the bag to her and hand it over. She says something about how they mix cherries into it now, and I realize the red candies on top are cherry.

While in the other room, I find I small clear bag of stuff, including a big paperclip. It’s bent when I hold it in front of me.

Inspiration: While typing up some dream goal ideas last night before bed, I accidentally deleted some of the text and used the CTRL+Y keys to get it back. That’s what I was trying to do in the dream, except without a computer. XP

Notes:

I woke at about 5:30 as well with no recall.

It is really confusing when the details change after the fact. I can understand it in my head but how the heck do you type that up to make sense!

Yesterday:

Hunting some kind of creatures. There was a woman who had to be separated from her daughter after giving birth to a baby. Apparently she was French, and there was this custom where the baby had to be taken care of by the other daughter?? So I went and got the baby.

Frag: Putting the ‘meat’ up on top of the van, me worrying about it attracting monsters

Notes: Think I woke up once before earlier but didn't recall anything. I'm using mom’s laptop to type up dreams throughout the night and later sending dreams through email to be put on my computer/DV. Was too tired to get too excited about it (no more hand cramps and hard to read hand-writing! saving time!), hoping to get better sleep and utilize it well.

Possible inspirations:
Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan). I also had a dream the other day about a dystopia where monsters roamed the broken down town I was in.

On the day prior to this dream, I'd been on a bus and noticed an angry looking wasp in the window, which is my ultimate terror. Usually you can run away like a bitch hoping the wasp doesn't sting you, but on a 50 minute bus ride you just have to chill and fight the urge to scream like a little girl and hope the wasp doesn't put you on its shit-list.

So after a night of drinking I should have forgotten all about the wasp, but my dream went like this:
I woke up in my bed (like most of my other dreams have started lately) and behold, the area around my bed is full of wasps. Crawling on the walls, on the pillows, on the blankets, on my face, even on my lips. I wanted to die. I had a slight notion that I was dreaming, but I never have control until I perform my reality check, and with a wasp crawling around on my face, I'd rather try to wake myself up. I attempted forcing my real eyes open, which is like a layer outside of my dream eyes - not sure how to explain it, I'm not even sure I understand it.
So I woke up, and again I was in my bed with wasps around me. At this point I was fully convinced the wasps were actually there and it wasn't a dream, but for good measure I decided to perform a quick reality check. Clenched my nose and tried to breathe, and to my surprise, it actually was a dream. I threw my covers off of me and stormed out of the room. I tried to open the skylight window on the hallway, but it was stuck. I gave it a good punch that pushed it open. I crawled out and flew away to explore.

1: A small fragment at my friends house. 2: A dream about getting drunk at a party in a big house. 3: A dream about weed, a trumpet bong and a homeless dealer. 4: A dream about me working in a mobile library.

• I am with two good old teenage friends of mine. The dream is not about back then, when we were younger, but we are as we are today. The front door of my friends house reminds me of an apartment that we had lived in earlier in my childhood. It is very neat and clean inside. We have a big hangover and we talk about the previous night, where we drank a lot of alcohol. One of my friends talks about how much money he spend that night.
  
  The house was purely dream fiction, but it had some interesting familiar features. We often used to hang out together on hangover days back in my teenage days.
  
  
• I drive a big black car. It feels new and comfortable, some good old friends are with me and some other friends follow us in the little blue car of my grandmother. We drive down a small curvy road through a forest.
  
  There is a parking area down in the valley and I decide to stop, because we are looking for a nice place to rest and to do our barbecue and camping, we have everything we need in the trunks of the cars.
  
  My friends from my grandmothers car seem upset, they say this is not a nice place to stay, they want to go further. But one of them had spotted a big party as we were driving on the hill, so we decide to leave the cars for now and take a look. So we walk upwards again on the small curvy road through the forest, where we came from. The walk is about 1 km and we take our time, we are not in a hurry at all, it feels like we all have summer holidays and this is our big vacation together or something like that.
  
  We finally get there and there is indeed a big house with music and a lot of people. Somehow they are of course strangers, but it feels like we are all friends and we are definitely welcome at the party. We start drinking a lot of alcohol, the party is held throughout the whole house including the second floor and the garden, there are people everywhere.
  
  At a later point we are all drunk and I gather my friends to tell them that I need to go down to the cars to get something. None of them wants to join me, they laugh and are clearly drunk and so am I. I think 'f*** it, I'll just go by myself'.
  
  I try to figure out where we came from, so I walk around the house. I almost choose a wrong path, which leads to some fields with high grass. Suddenly I remember it, and I turn around and walk across the street and towards the small curvy road through the forest that leads to the cars in the valley. As I'm walking, I think that time moves so fast when I am that drunk, while it is slowed down, when using weed.
  
  The big black car was cool. The dream had a nice summer holiday feeling with the good company of friends instead of the everyday worries. It is astonishing how well dreams can simulate the state of being drunk or being high. Also, I find it interesting how socially active I am in my dreams, like I was some years ago. Nowadays I choose to be socially more isolated, not that I don't like people, I still love them, but I am just rather by myself at my current stage. My dreams do certainly not reflect that.
  
  
• I am with a group of 10 people around my age. They are a mixture of friends and acquaintances. It is early in the evening and we walk and relax together. We gather on a playground and just hang out and talk.
  
  I have a black friend and we go and sit on a bench at a bus stop. He pulls out his bong, which I know he had for a long time and that he uses it quite regularly. I listen to the familiar sound, as he uses it and at that moment I think to myself, 'funny that I don't smoke anymore, it's been a long time already'.
  
  As I watch him with his bong, it occurs to me that it looks like an old trumpet. He must have somehow build a bong from a trumpet and some dark glass. It looks nice and stable, though. I ask if he cleans it every now and then, because I imagine it must be very hard to clean that thing, it is so unique. I get no response, he just smiles. I find it is a delightful sight and sound to just watch him handling it. And yet I find that I have no urge to start smoking again whatsoever. I am allowed to inspect the trumpet-glass-bong closer. I suck on it (without weed, just for the feel and sound) and I immediately get some water in my mouth, I spit it out and give him back his trumpet bong.
  
  There is a man coming to the playground, he looks old and homeless. The group of friends and acquaintances gather around him and he pulls out a big zip lock bag filled with marijuana. He starts selling nice, green and round buds to everyone. I think, 'wow, what an intelligent disguise for a dealer. A homeless looking old man with a bag of weed, which I estimate to be worth some thousand euros. He is not old and poor, he is smart!'.
  
  I know that I have money in my purse, so I take it out and look at two 5-euro notes. Another close friend of mine takes out 10 euro as well and we decide to buy something, just because it has been so long time since and because we can. We go after the old dealing guy, who is about to leave the playground.
  
  This is MJ calling for me once again. I had many dreams about cannabis when I stopped using it completely more than a month ago, this dream is like the final residue of that. I never had a close black friend, but in my dreams I often do.
  
  
• I am on my walk home. It is daytime in a residential area, but it is totally quiet. Then there is this big bus stopping at every corner and honking and calling for the people living there, but no one ever responds. It is the bookmobile trying to get peoples attention.
  
  I think to myself that I can maybe get a ride home or I could even ask for a job. So I speak to the driver, and surely, I may join. So I walk around in the back of the bus, which is filled with books and neat little reading corners, the mobile library has two floors.
  
  We drive around in the neighborhood and the driver calls the people by their family names, apparently he knows them all. No one ever gets on the bus, which I think is sad, because people don't realize what a great thing they are missing out on. I decide that I will just make the best of my situation and find some interesting books to read, while I'm 'working' here. I am excited, because there is so much variety to choose from.
  
  The bus drives into a grocery store and parks between the shelves filled with canned food. It starts to fold out and to transform into a temporary stationary library section of the grocery store. The shelves start moving as well to make space for the transforming bus. The process does not seem random at all, but very well planned and well-orchestrated.
  
  The driver takes out 10 waffle irons and tells me that I have to make waffles for everyone who visits our mobile library, there should be people coming soon. I am overwhelmed with the whole situation and I find it weird. But on the other hand it is a creative idea, I think. So I begin thinking about how to manage that task. Shouldn't be that hard, I think, there should be cooking books among the books and there should be all the groceries I need somewhere in the store.
  
  A nice, creative surprise by my subconscious.

(I consider for terms of dreams that once the night pops up, That's the next day - Not when midnight pops up.)

(Also, I had been listening to some Mudhoney songs in the few hours prior to sleeping.)

I was dreaming that I was in a locked room with two people and perhaps there was cold and I had trouble communicating with one or both of the people. I tried to make sense to one concerning a religious wall in the room and later when I got out Mark MacLaughlin (AKA "Mark Arm") of the band Mudhoney was there and later we returned a coat I apparently stole months ago to someone's house. I then fell down into the house in a small room and I turned computers on, At which point I tried to turn them off and then since I was about to be discovered by the family I tried to turn myself off with a power button on my stomach (This might be sounding rather bizarre or concerning to me) as if I were a computer.

Later, I think I was trying to talk to Mark (Who looked younger than he does now, BTW) and then he started running away. I ran after him as he ducked under at least two fences trying to avoid me and I still went after him. Then, I went near or to his house and a friend of his who was bald had an ATV which he took in through the back door and he was outside but on the other side of the house - There was another door not far from the back door. I or he asked about Mark and one of us answered the other. Then I saw small onions and containers of Agave syrup.

Later, There was talk among Bronies (As I did spend much time in the Equestria Daily chat room - I use the screen name "Barry_From_Mars" there) and I saw Heartbreak (A fanon Pony) there. (It's not the first time I dreamed of her either.) I said that I ate flies and then I ate a green one and I did taste it too. I do not remember actually eating a fly in waking life!

Then there was running near Natrona Heights, PA as if it were a house and I saw sexual imagery including some black creature on a tree that asked if it could do something. Later when I was thinking of something and saw a push-bottle and thought of m*********** the Pixies song "I Bleed" Played as I was next to my car or was in the garage.

Hey this dream was literally so short I'm not even going to type in color codes but I can remember being with some friends and becoming lucid while with them. I believe I began to fly around a bit too. But sadly I can't remember much after that.

3 dreams and one fragment. The first is about a getaway from a threatening situation or people, the 2nd one is the fragment, it is about motocross in a forest. There is much more to it, but I can't recall more details. The 3rd entry is a pleasant dream about flirting with a married woman (I forgive myself, she is beautiful). The 4th is about coming home:

• I am together with my brother. We run away from something or someone, it is a threatening situation and I run for my life, I am very fearful. We are in the ground floor of a building with narrow corridors and white walls. I have the impression that my brother is not really aware of the danger of the situation, so I yell at him to convince him to move faster and to follow me.
  
  We come to an elevator, 2 or 3 people are waiting for it and I decide to move upstairs as well, as it seems to be the only way to go. But there is no time to wait I think, so I chose a narrow circular stair to the right of the elevator and run upwards, while again reminding my brother that we have no time to rest, or 'they/it' may get us.
  
  I tell him 'don't worry about grandmother, she will be alright as she has always been. She has lived most of her days happily, just leave her behind and let her go'. As I say that I feel that I myself also have trouble leaving her behind and letting her go, but I force myself to do that and to continue running, so that I am a good example for my brother to follow.
  
  On the second floor we climb out of the window and slide down a slanted roof. I think it's fun to slide down here, but then the fear of the people/thing following us takes over again. We land in the garden of the house, where I find an air pump. I pick it up, just in case I could use it as a weapon. We encounter a gardener, who is raking leaves. He says something, but I don't trust him, he might be part of the complot (after all, I didn't even know exactly what we were running away from). I consider piking up a rake lying next to me and just beat the gardener to the ground, but then I decide it's best to just leave. We walk out of the garden and the fear wears off.
  
  I don't know what I was afraid of and running away from. But I was scared, that is for sure. I don't know what the passage with our grandmother means. I rarely experience fear in dreams, but I appreciate it afterwards, when I do, because it makes the dream very vivid and detailed, as the fear forces me to be completely in the moment or situation.
  
  
• I am riding a motocross bike on small forest paths. There is dense vegetation and small hills. The bike is light, but strong, so that it easily rides on almost any terrain. I ride in a group with some other people, I have a lot of fun.
  
  I find myself on a broad road between some fields, riding the bike. I have lost the group, which makes me sad and I try to find them again. I ask some hikers to help me, they direct me to a small house in the forest and they claim that this is a sort of meeting point for hikers and bikers. So I go there and I am happy to meet 2 people from the group to rejoin. We go into the small house to rest a bit and maybe to find some others.
  
  I know there is more content in this dream, but this fragment is all I can recall. The forest paths were beautiful and the bikes were really cool, I had a lot of fun.
  
  
• I have a conversation with a beautiful, young, blond woman. We are on a small hill under some big and wide trees, the scenery is very calm and relaxing. We are with some people we both know, but I only talk to her.
  
  We are in a bus, I sit in the back end of the bus at the left window, the blond woman is in the seat in front of me, but she has turned around to talk to me. She has a cute face and short blond curls, I think I am in love with her. But somehow I also know that she is married, so I am not sure how to behave. I decide to ignore the beautiful landscape outside the window and to look beyond my morals and doubts straight into her eyes. As I force myself to do that, I find that it is not at all uncomfortable, but rather it is the most natural and pleasant thing to just rest my eyes in hers. Suddenly my fears of being hurt and my doubts about the moral situation seem ridiculous and I give her my undivided attention. Wow she is beautiful, I think, while she talks (I'm not really listening ).
  
  I want everything about her, now, there is no doubt. I sense that she feels the same way, but that we both are unsure how to express that. We walk along the ocean between a forest to the right and a beach to the left. She takes my hand and we just walk, saying nothing. I think, wow, I almost forgot how good this feels!
  
  I had several dreams about cute, blond women recently, but I don't know how to relate that to my waking life or why or where it comes from. I guess I have just been single for a while and maybe I am just ready for someone new? In any case it was a nice experience, I am certainly open for more dreams with her
  
  
• I am in a residential area and I walk on small paths between tall houses. A boy, who looks Korean/Chinese, walks past me. He makes some clicking noises behind me and as I turn around, he suddenly has a bike and he rides away. I wonder where the hell did he pull that bike out? But then I just move on. I decide to turn around and go to my mothers place.
  
  The apartment door of my mothers place looks a lot like the door of my room I think, as I stand in front of it. There is light and noises coming from the workroom, so I figure that my stepfather is at home. There is no door handle, though. So I investigate the door further and I find out that it is opened by a little light switch. I am now inside the apartment in the hallway, but all doors are closed. I know that everyone is at home, because I can somehow sense their presence, but I don't want to draw attention to myself yet, so I go into the kitchen. There are 3 burned pizzas in the oven and the oven door is open. I sit down and enjoy the calmness, peace and idyll of the situation. Smells and feels like being home and everything is alright as it is.
  
  The bike coming out of nothing should have made me more curious or even lucid, because I noticed it in great details and even wondered about it. But somehow I just went on with my walk. The apartment is not the real one, but purely dream fiction. It was a pleasant dream nevertheless, it had the comforting feeling of being home.

Lately I've been having a lot of confusing dreams. They usually go like this: The dream starts and I find myself somewhere, often in my bed. Eventually I realize something's off and do a reality check. Seconds after I realize it's a dream, the dream puts me back in my bed and wakes me up - into a new dream. This cycle tends to go on 6 or more times, to the point where when I eventually wake up, I'm confused as hell and it takes me a minute to make sure I'm not still dreaming.

I should've posted this about five days ago, cause now I forgot most of it. :/

There was more prior to these events, but I forgot them. :/ But I'm currently getting in the getaway vehicle after a a Shootout. My friends Joey and Justin are loading into the car, Joey getting behind the wheel. I jump in the car(I forget which seat) and Joey drives away. I remember all of us are wearing Kevlar vests and weapons strapped to us. Joey starts the car and begins to drive away in a hurry. As we go up a hill Joey makes a sharp turn. Now for some reason physics says I'll do whatever the fuck I want, and sends us backwards over the side of the hill. I notice another cliff about two hundred meters away as we fall. I look down and see the car plummeting to the war hundreds of meters down. We all scream, when I suddenly become lucid! I now open my door and jump out of the car.
"Guys! Just fly!" I shout to Joey and Justin. I now realize how dumb I'm being, and fly down to the falling car. The two jump out as the car hits the water and they submerge. I dive deep down and chase after them. I grab both of them and fly them up to the cliff I noticed earlier. i don't remember anything much afterwards.

I want a LD in the next 7 days. That's my dream/desire.

Prior to sleeping I'd been thinking of this band and in the dream I had, Mark MacLaughlin (AKA "Mark Arm") had cut off his forearms and yet was still a guitarist somehow, but he looked different and I think he had a beard. I also saw a room with a dead cat in it which was in a vise and I later got in there and found two more dead cats and then was slow in getting out of the room as I heard someone. The other guitarist who's name I think is Steve gave me a soda pop can that was about to explode and I threw it away from me and I said it was funny.

I think this is supposed to mean the band members have "Killed off some of their nine lives".

I admit I didn't properly complete these 2 tasks, but it was still an interesting adventure. Well, isn't every dream?

Anyway, I inadvertently woke up and fell back to sleep maybe 5 times between midnight and 5am, which I think helped set me up really well for WILD. Then I either woke up or FAed (I'm beginning to think there's a possibility that I don't really know the difference right before I WILD), and I turned slightly and felt vibrations. I remember thinking at that moment how strange it was that I was getting there this early.. normally they don't hit until well after 7am (with rare exception). So I went with it, and a few cycles passed and I "woke" into a dream. In my bed as usual, checking to make sure I was dreaming, I saw Danny sit up slightly. He asked me a question that was complete gibberish, and that confirmed the dream.

I got up and left the room. When I went down the hall and into the livingroom, it looked completely different, like that of a small apartment. There were a bunch of scattered papers on the kitchen counter, and I remember thinking at that moment "I know I wrote down the tasks of the month on one of these pieces of paper...." So I began rummaging through them. I couldn't find what I wanted, and I kinda got clear there for a second, questioning the validity of these papers. Then the Hell TOTM struck my brain, and I immediately got down on all fours. I pressed my face through the floor, and that obedient tunnel to hell appeared instantly. A moment of fear swept through me (if you haven't read any of my tunnel to hell dreams before, this is #4.. and if you can imagine for real, a dark, creepy tunnel that goes way down deep, with some fiery orange glow, and sounds from the deep not unlike the Balrog of Moria, then you'll know why I chickened out the first two times and didn't go in). The moment passed quickly, because I've been psyching myself for it in waking life. Alot. No fear, it's a dream, MY dream...

The past few days, since my last attempt at this task, I decided that I would manifest a rope to get down, because flying/hovering/climbing are not at the top of my lucid skills. Obediently, a sturdy rope appeared in front of me, perfectly in the center of the tunnel. I grabbed it and tugged, it seemed to be fastened at the top somehow, but I didn't look up. My focus was down down down. I grabbed the rope with my arms AND legs like a spider, and began to slide down. I felt a little like I was going down a really creepy well. "The Well from Hell" haha, sounds like a scary B movie. Or a documentary: "Hell's Wells, Have They Dried Up? Story at 11." Ok I'm done

Anyway, I started sliding down the rope, which should have burned my hands, so I'm glad I didn't have that as a distraction in this dream. I focused hard to see a bottom to the tunnel, because that's where I failed last time (it ended up being an endless tunnel and I woke up before finding the bottom). Two times I had to focus and say, "I'm approaching the bottom, I'm approaching the bottom," and my feet finally found the ground. In retrospect, I don't remember any heat at all. I had a lucky, pain free trip to Hell. Almost immediately, a figure approached me. (My memory is a little foggy from this point on, so I'll do my best. I think my memory tends to be a bit better when I'm super focused, like descending the tunnel, since I was so set on tackling that. So when I got to a point I hadn't got to before, I stopped trying to control everything, and just let the story take over. But as a reflex, I may be dropping too much focus as well, and forgetting stuff. Gotta work on that in the future.)

Alright, so a figure approached me, and he seemed to be made up of half smoke, and half something corporeal. But he seemed to phase in and out of it. I think I asked if he was the devil, but I don't remember an answer. I remember him getting super close to me though. He was handsome, when he wasn't a billowy cloud of smoke. And I remembered Dianeva's idea to ask him the meaning of life! (Sadly, the beer never popped into my head, aside from which, even if I had succeeded in this basic task, that's a pretty long as fucking way of getting to it, to then fail at the advanced!) So I asked him "What is the meaning of life, oh Dark Lord?" (kidding, I didn't say the dark lord part ) I know he had an answer, I just KNOW it, but I don't remember. All I remember is he swooped me up in wings of smoke, and the next thing I remember, I was standing on earth.

Oreo face? I think so!!

Apparently I'm not even good enough for hell, and the devil himself kicked me right out. Wow. So the last thing I remember is seeing 2 DCs that I have a hunch that i recognized. I'm pretty much nonlucid at this point I think. I hug them both tightly, then wake up.

Alright Devil, you wanna play like that? Maybe next time I conjure some magic Devil snare and tie your ass up. I'll pour beer down your gullet if I have to for these wings!

I tried listening to this:



It's a binaural version of the video from before. I started to feel weightless and stayed that way for a while. After roughly 18 minutes, I eventually opened my eyes for whatever reason. I was only on the delta stage, so I couldn't dream right away. I'll try again in a few hours when I'm more tired.

I wish to go back, back to where it all started, the first and the only ever Lucid dream I remember ever so clearly, I wish to go to that desolate fragment of space, where I was the maker, where my touch gave birth to Novas and a wish rendered them sucking unto them-self into a black-hole. I wish to go back to that starry space, only this time, with a more profound Lucidity. after having done this, I will embark on a Journey within, to realize all the fantasies. I will write unto this space again, only next time, with an ethereal story to tell.

To do: 1) Become familiar with all the terminologies of the Lucid Dreaming World.
2) Choose the most efficient technique to begin my quest for the Inner world.