non-lucid

1/9/20

I am at my great grandmother's home in Atlanta. B currently lives there and has kind of fixed it up though the outside of the house is grown over with vines and greenery. The house is a single story in the front but two stories in the back, like the basement is built into a hill. She has her living space in the basement and I see her purple bed in a corner. G is with me as we kind of tour around the house. We wander around the house with B. I talk with B about the history of the home and how long it has been in my family. I show her the room upstairs where my great grandma and her sister slept in beds side by side for many years. There's a large floor grate at the doorway that I remember hurt my feet to walk on as a kid, only now it has expanded down both walls of the room like a big L. There are small flames that come out of the grate, I gather it is the malfunctioning heater that hasn't been serviced in years. She almost catches the bottom of her flowy dress on fire because she trips on the grate but gets up quickly enough, no harm done.

I am with G now downstairs in Bs room sitting on her bed. We are watching a program on television, it is like a home renovation show that is featuring the same house we are actually currently in, B is on the tv. They take axes to large twisted bundles of vines that have grown into the house through a window in her room. One of the guys is hitting a wooden doorway with a hand axe and I gather his intent is malicious. B comes downstairs and tells us the rest of the story while we watch the show. We decide to go out to get something to eat before leaving town.


We are standing in line inside a large food court type area that is actually a single restaurant. It feels like a gourmet rallys of sorts. The building is diamond shaped, bright white decor with scattered black tiles, tall ceilings, with counters to order at on each side corner and tables all around in the middle. There seems to be a large column/pillar in the exact center of the room. I stand looking at the menu for a while trying to decide what to eat. We debate where we want to eat while standing in line. I mention I would really like to eat at the Dwarf House (the first Chick-fil-A). Perhaps we will get a snack here first then go somewhere else. The girls have ordered and gone to find a table. I stand for a couple minutes at the front of the line trying to decide, there are people lining up behind me while I scan the menu. It is hard to read and I am barely able to make out the pictures, though I know generally what they have. I apologise to the guy working the register that it took me so long, saying "Now don't be mad at me it took me all that time to decide, but I just want a large fry well done and two soda waters with lime."

He is understanding and asks for my name. I speak it to him but then he motions to a keypad in front of the register I am meant to type my name into. I try typing Noah, but it ends up like Gerold6 on the screen, I shrug whatever and submit it. As I am walking away I gather the workers are allowed to heckle the guests, it's like this restaurants brand, they were joking a lot before and now that I've made a gaff they turn the focus on me. They make an announcement on the loudspeaker that Gerald doesn't have the number six in the name and he proceeds to write it on a whiteboard, while laughing saying people can't have the number six in their name. I shout back jokingly "You don't know that!" The workers all laugh at my response and walk away from their registers holding their faces. I walk over to the girls and B has become S, I am completely enamoured to see her again.

We catch up and I am really glad to see she is doing so well. She seems lively and much more energetic than the last time I saw her. She's even showing interest in me so I'm somewhat besides myself. The girls have gotten their food a while ago and are just picking at their trays and I start to wonder where mine is, it has to have been 20-30 min by now. I see fries fully cooked sitting behind the counter on the metal tray and no one standing around. Then a guy walks out from the back, stands there for a minute or so and then surprisingly notices a ticket printed on a printer under the counter. He reads it, tears it off, proceeds to make my fry and prepare the drinks and walk it out to me. I am grateful if not slightly annoyed by there being so many employees standing around and none of them seem to be too focused.

At a certain point I begin speaking to an employee who I believe is on break. We talk about the type of restaurant this is and how it's set up/how it is to work there and make fun of people all day. He has social conundrums with some fellow female employees so I give him some social advice on how to work it out. The girls go to the bathroom together when we finish our meals. So I decide to walk outside to take in the views.

For some reason I am now in a corporate office lobby with open windows on one side leading to the water. My father and uncle are there, we all seem to be fixated on screens or the windows, I can't be sure. My uncle is leaning on dad's shoulder while they stand together. A worker for the office has spilled his soda on the floor of his desk, he gets up and walks away. He returns to his desk with a fresh cup of pop and takes a picture of it with his cellphone before sitting back down without cleaning up the last spill. This guy kinda looks like Ben Schwartz.


We are all standing along the water now outside. I am still waiting for the girls to come back but I notice there are boats going by to tour the local park. I am on a boat now, thinking it will be a quick excursion before returning. It is a boat car type vehicle and we travel through a park with many coloured birds on the ground and in the trees, they are all smaller like sparrows though coloured like the rainbow. The driver keeps driving and I gather we are going much further than the park. I text G "I think I've made a huge mistake" The boat makes water and we continue down into a river. Everytime I shift my weight the boat sloshes to the side and some water splashes in. The main guy driving asks me how old I am. I tell him and he says I am too big and I need to sit still while we are in motion. I now realize I am too close to other people I don't know and fumble to put on my mask. I pull it out of my pocket and there are many masks all stacked on themselves and it is difficult to separate the one I want to wear. The driver describes the river we are going down. It is like the florida keys for georgia, he points to a map and there is a huge crack waterway through the entire state of georgia. I am far away from where I started with strangers now. The dream ends.

I'm in school and remember that I forgot to hand in the history assignment. I walk through a lot of doors.

Notes: I have an assignment to tuesday. I have to fix it soon. I remember that I had one more school and worries related dream yesterday too.

9th January 2021

Fragment:

(from last to earliest)

Watching, or playing a game like War Thunder but it also included infantry. It was going a little bit wacky by the end of the dream with weird physics bugs. At some point I recall seeing some soldiers from a third-person point of view behind them where they would set off some rockets but then ride them; with the weird physics bugs it resulted in a lot of stuff bouncing around the place and I remember one of the rockets detonated on colliding sideways with a rocket launching flatbed truck.

An earlier sequence, was with H in an alternate version of the town we live in. We went to some kind of physical therapy group and we were both doing the same activities. By the end H was complaining it had hurt him and he couldn't see the benefit as a result of this. I remember saying something about how this being how it always was (for me).

Another part. Half participating, half watching; some kind of mega rally race thing. Two motorbikes in the lead, the one with the greater lead is from the USA and the second one is from the UK; I remember seeing this second bike, it seemingly had no rider and it had a Union Jack paint job that actually looked decent.

There were hundreds of other cars and motorbikes on this race, I recall seeing them on a map which showed the entire circuit - it was a very long and convoluted circuit in a mountainous area - but they were literally several miles off these two leading bikes. The bike from the USA still had many seconds of lead on the UK bike. Vague recall of my dad being nearby?

Initial dream recall hasn't been bad lately but I have been lacking in my DJ entries still; a lot of it is varying just the same as me actually getting up from bed too, seems to have been depending mostly on the sunlight in the morning, at least of late.

---

2nd January 2021

Fragment:

Something about being outdoors/in a street and people weren't wearing masks and I thought they should be wearing them, or I felt uncomfortable about the situation.

1/5/20

I am on my way driving to some church event with people I recognize from my past. While driving I spray paint face with blues and oranges with a white streak down one side going through my eye. My cat is in my car with me, when I arrive I leave her in the car with the windows cracked a little. We are all standing in lines for some reason I am unaware of. Someone is talking to us in a preachy manner but the details escape me.

The scene shifts into a new age festival of sorts with many sellers operating booths and with various items on tables in rows. The room is a long flat one story building, with tables lining either side, and windows every few feet. It almost feels like an opened up double wide manufactured home which is several lengths long.

While walking around checking out the various vendors I notice two who share space side by sides. I befriend the two of them and notice they look strikingly similar to one another with slight differences. They are both round faced with round noses, bald heads and beards about the same length. Though their personalities are obviously of different tones. One of them sells flat flutes which seem like wooden Christmas tree ornaments with spacers and holes drilled at intervals as a flute should be, and one sells didgeridoos with original poems printed on fancy paper.

They both have just met each other for this event but they are very similar in demeanour, though each unique. Like twins who took separate life trajectories. I play a flute from his table for a while, it sounds like a native american flute and any note progression is harmonious and effortless to produce. There is a girl who walks up to the table hearing the flute and wants to try it but she is shy. I encourage her to go for it, it is a beautiful instrument and incredibly easy to play. Whatever you play on the flute sounds great, she picks it up and plays for a few seconds. It sounds just as good as when I played, she is pleased. I want a flute, the guy attempts to sell me one but don't have a lot of money on me, the didge guy also wants me to buy one from him. I tell him I have three of my own at home waiting for me. He tells me to sell the ones I don't use and use the surplus to purchase another one from him. I laugh and say maybe.

I am concerned about leaving the cat in the car even though the window is cracked. It is a sunny day and I'm incredibly cautious about animals in cars. I go back out to get her and bring her back inside with me. When I return, the festival seems to have turned into a waffle house type diner. It is packed out and everyone is hungry. There are full counter seats and tons of people packed in the booths around the place. I see the open kitchen with one cook struggling to take people's orders and cook the food at the same time. I consider jumping behind the counter to help cook. Though he does seem to have it under control so I decide against it and just wander around looking at people, everyone is calm and patient, feels like people are just grateful to be fed. The cat has befriended some people and become kind of a fixture in the diner. She sits on a stool by the counter and people pet her while walking by/waiting. People continue ordering and eating until the night comes.


I notice while standing outside there is a large military supply surplus store that used to be on the corner across the street. The new location looks newer and brightly lit like a pharmacy. I talk to someone standing close to me about going in and taking a looking around. Though I am slightly concerned if I do so I will be put on some government list of nationalists.

As fewer and fewer people are present we become a closer knit group. We are all friends now and we know each other quite well from our stories. One of us is cautious because he is wanted by a rival gang he knows may be coming for him. The lights get dim as we all sit around each other and chat on the floor. The restaurant is closed and it's just us friends communing now telling stories and laughing. The one friend is still very paranoid about other people coming after him, looking out the window as he expects it to happen any minute. He has a handgun on him and begins waving it around claiming they are coming, they are outside now he shouts. I know nothing good can come from escalating the situation so I take the pistol from his hand in a swift action and put it in my jacket pocket, he is dismayed but compliant.

Someone else walks in the room and they are looking for him, they also have a gun in their hand. I immediately demand they give it to me because this is not the way to solve this dispute. They also comply. I disassemble the gun in seconds, dropping the clip, pulling back the slide, popping out the bullet in the chamber, and taking the slide fully off. This continues a couple more times as people come in trying to start trouble with firearms and me immediately disarming them before anything transpires. They then just stand around and have conversation with the others that are here. I now have 3-4 guns in my jacket pockets and pants pockets from the different people trying to start trouble. The people just stand around and talk once they have their gun taken away. The original guy who was part of our group asks for his gun back because he is still paranoid. I have so many in my coat I don't know which one was his. So I pull it out, disassemble it in front of him and drop the pieces on the floor at his feet. His mouth is stuck open in disbelief. I walk over to a table at the end of the room and begin to take all the firearms out of my coat and put them down. Someone else walks in behind me with a fully automatic machine gun, looks like an MP5 or something. I wave them over to me and say "Come on, gotta check in!" They oblige and I take their gun away from them as well. No one escalating, no one gets hurt. I insist all disagreements be talked out in a civil manner.


It is now the next morning. We all seem to be arranging some type of trip. I think we are even taking air travel like hot air balloons or something. While getting people oriented I walk into a back room which is larger like an industrial loading dock and has a large metal garage door attached to it. On the floor to the side is a 30 ft long dead yellow boa constrictor. It has been tied in a knot in the middle and is contorted in weird ways. There is liquid in the corner around where it lay and the smell in the room is putrid. I gather is has been dead for a while, maybe a few days to a week. I step over it walking in and back outside several times. There are a couple people out in the field behind the building we are trying to corral to leave for our trip. The guy kind of looks like john favreau, he is with his wife. They are still distant in the field but coming towards us.

Looking up I notice a very thick purple fog rolling in from the right onto the property. I think it is in the sky at first but then notice it in front of the clouds and things around us like the fence lining the yard. It is moving like a serpent with a massive menacing motion. It is thick and pearlescent, shimmering with light and dark purples. I am with Justin Theroux and we rushedly get the people inside while watching the huge cloud get closer to the ground and come towards us. It begins whirlwinding and the wind begins to whip violently. It forms a vortex on the ground of a thick purpley haze that you cannot see through. It Incredibly large and stretches all the way into the sky. We rush inside and look for ways to combat it. In a moment we both understand that the purple gas is flammable. Just need to make a torch of some kind to toss in it, hoping that will do the trick. The room is already wrecked with glass and objects scattered about on the floor. The wind is howling loudly and the walls rock with turbulence, pictures that were hanging fall. We are running through shouting at each other for supplies that can maybe be used. I find some lighters and some small miniature baseball bats. He brings some rags and accelerant from the other room. We craft makeshift torches while squatting on the floor and I wonder if the wind is too powerful for the flame, if the torches will stay lit for us to throw them in. We run to the back of the building again out the garage door, the twister is in full rage mode. A dark purple debris filled monstrosity tears at the ground 20 meters from us, the sound is deafening.
We light the torches together, look at each other and I shout "HERE GOES NOTHING!" We both launch the fiery bats overhead towards the center of the vortex and the dream fades.

House.

Me and Jamie are attacked by something outside my inner world house. I remember sharp tendrils going into my abdomen while me and her are laying on the ground.

aunt

A dream my aunt was mad at me about something. I kept trying to fix what she was mad about but she got meaner..

I'm in a restaurant and ordering some hamburgers. I get the food but notice that I didn't get that much. I find a hamburger on the floor and I inspect it. I am really hungry.

I'm in an amusement park with water under it. I climb some ropes with my cousins H who are also there. I try to be faster since my cousins are fast. There is a mad man on the other side that is throwing things at us. I try to dodge them and succeed. I climb on a long rope to the other end of the water and sense that I should jump in the water at a specific place. I jump in and get some sensations and see the mad man screaming that we defeated him. William also Jumps in and he gets the same reaction that I got. I tell him that it probably is our grandfather's blood that made us capable of doing this. I keep on swimming in the water.

I had a lucid but woke up as soon as I got lucid. Maybe it was a FA now when I think about it.

I haven't been lucid at a long time since my bad sleep habits during holidays. I slept well this night and did my mantra.

I'm in church and there are a lot of chairs in a circle in the primary room. I feel out of place and almost lay down on a chair with my feet at some other girl's knees. I don't notice it at first but I feel embarrased when I notice that she has my feet in her knee. She starts to touch them and I feel comforted.

I'm in a school canteen and pick some food up on my plate. William is also there.

I wake up by an alarm but go to sleep again. I have this lucid dream.

I'm in my room and there are three frisbees in different colors and a ball. I do my RC and it doesn't trigger lucidity. I walk to the window and throw a ball out. There is some weird transition in my vision and I gain some lucidity. I do my RC and succeed after some fails. I open the window and I am about to fly out. I feel a bit worried that it is not a dream but jump out and fly away. My flying is very controlled but I don't feel that much sensations. I fly behind the house and spot a dog. I fly against it and pick it up as I fly away. It's a light brown dog about 20 kg. I don't remember more.

I'm at the right side of a scene and looking up at my sister who is playing the bass with some other musicians. She does some cool ups and downs. There is a boy that my sister is into who is goth.

1/1/20

My friend V buys a restaurant with money he has saved. It seems to be an old run down chinese buffet. Has no idea how to run it because he has no real experience in restaurants. The whole building is very dirty with stains along the floorboards badly lit and broken ceiling tiles. All of the dishes they cook are baked whole chicken breasts with noodles and cheese. People are confused about the fare but I gather it's the only thing they know how to cook.

At a certain point they run out of ice cream and people are getting pissed about the lack of chocolate ice cream. I try sampling the different foods they have set out and put the plates on the table I am eating at. I make a dessert bowl with three brownies and chocolate sauce two times in a row because I knock the first one on the floor accidentally.

V is sitting with me asking me what I think about the whole thing and how the food tastes. I tell him having a recipe book is one of the most important parts to running a restaurant, to ensure everything they cook is standardized and reproducible. He is surprised and likes my advice, he asks me to come back tomorrow to look things over and help him get things set up better. My parents seem to choose to eat here so we are sitting together. They don't know my friend owns the place but are quickly somewhat let down by the overall layout of the place.

We are talking about the dinner service later on and Jennifer Aniston is sitting across the table from me. She commends me for letting things crash somewhat when people get upset about the desserts. She tells me they made cream with ice and salt to make some homemade chocolate ice cream for the unhappy people and they enjoyed it. A Chinese server still working there is disgusted by the food and keeps pre bussing my table before I am done eating what's on my table.


I am in a futuristic town/downtown walking around down the street. I am with a friend at first but end up alone eventually. It is a very crowded street with many colours and close packed shops of various shapes. At a certain point we are riding on the back trunk of a car for a while, then the car gets towed and lifted up at an angle so we jump off and go into an exciting looking building to the left.

It is a large purple/crimson coloured walls with streamlined edges and various levels with seats and stand up games along the walls. I am in a sci-fi looking arcade type area. It is dimly lit with only the soft redish glow illuminating the walls and walkways. There are many people sitting around all facing a giant screen in the ceiling in one section of the room. I wonder if they are all in vr. I don't see the screen right away so I am unsure what they are l doing, but it feels like a theatre of some kind.

I sit off to the side on a rounded couch/curve in the wall which is like a ledge at knee level. Someone comes up to me and attempting to bond with me talking about something I don't understand. They have small children with them who latch onto my legs like children do. I have a small cloth ball that has a bright light which is visible when I turn it inside out. I shine the light on them trying to get them all to go away. I get shhhh'd by someone in the audience. I attempt to walk to the doorway, trying to shake the children off my legs gently before walking through. The door slightly cracks and I see light and a crowded sidewalk outside. But then I come back into the theatre arcade. I wonder out loud what everyone is watching that could be so enthralling. Someone close to me tells me it is the feeling of forgiveness. As I look up to the ceiling/high wall rounded area where everyone else is watching I see a mass of screens appear. They are all different sizes with each side boxed together. They all have a different moment of tv or movies on them, both cartoons and live action. I recognize every scene. It imparts emotion to my insides when I watch. I feel a strong emotion just looking up for the few seconds I am standing there. I feel forgiveness. I then decide to leave the room and walk through the swaying doors into the brightly lit outside sidewalk.

I continue down the sidewalk by the street. There are still many people wearing many colours. There are also stores I don't recognize. First I think I don't have my phone because I don't feel it. Checking again just to be sure I feel it deep in my pocket but don't take it out. No one to call anyway. I wander aimlessly for a while. Finally see a goofy sciencey party type store with flamboyant decorations on the outside. There are large long balloons of various colours on the walls in a gallery type fashion. I gather it is a balloon animal store. But they also have like science museum trinkets for sale, like balls floating on air and astrolabes and globes of the earth and kites ect.

I notice the balloons are wider than usual. I know how to make balloon animals IWL and tell the person working, who looks like a middle aged woman who is dressed like a male clown. They are entertaining another customer flicking uninflated balloons at each other. I pick one up and begin to blow it up by mouth. It inflate to 5 times the width they usually are, but they keep popping on me. The person working has gas in tanks they use to blow them up for an order they are working on. I gather they do custom orders of oversized balloon animals for parties and such. It's really a great idea. I say 'hey man I really like your store'. The worker just gives me an annoyed look out of the corner of her eye. I gather I have mis-pronouned her. But I find it silly cause I call both genders man.

They nod knowingly so I turn to walk back out to the crowded street. The sun is setting in a gleaming glow off the glass buildings and street lamps. The street is still filled with people hustling their own directions chattering indiscriminately. I am still walking down the street when the dream fades.

I had a dream (not fragment) upon waking up this morning, I did write to my gf that I ate candies in the dream. Now it's been few hours after and I didn't bother write down the whole dream down when I woke up - instead I was lazy going back to bed.
What I can remember though, I were at my home and my parents were here too. And I knew I wouldn't been eating anything (because fasting irl), but I struggled hard and had received candy, so I just ate it all.

(since of having the dream I was thinking, I'll need start record/write down when I wake up, new year and perfect time to do a new start on several things and hold onto them)

1st January 2021

Dream:

I'm with H, we're in a town or city like L. I remember we had been in the van. We were buying something off someone or selling them something.

We go past a bigger van at some point. Its back doors are open and it's crammed full of stuff, some rolled up materials, furniture, other things I don't recall.

I remember then some interaction with mom, in the street? But I'm also recalling another scene indoors. I'm showing mom and dad some drawings, though mostly to mom. She seems proud or happy, but I get the feeling that she wishes she could do the same.

The bit in the street; narrow-ish street, cobbled floor/paving. Daytime. I remember something about my phone and holding it up in an odd way, trying to avoid people (colliding with them).

Next I'm in a house, still with H and in the same area. Out of a window I can see a large square or plaza. We're at ground level. There are people going back and forth. This looks like a small kitchen area, the interior is wooden, a nice semi-deep stain. I pick up a towel and start cleaning up some water on top of a wooden-veneered countertop. H is next to me and we're talking about something although I can't recall what. I see a woman approach the house. She's in her 50s, has long but wavey hair and holds herself in an uncertain manner. She has some kind of turquoise top?

I seem to recall she comes by a few times and I try to tell her that she's at the wrong place or something, as I don't know her at all. All the while, she has a very confused expression.

12/30/20

I am with C and we are visiting one of his teachers house. His teacher is Patrick Stewart who lives with his wife in a fairly large house with white decor. We are there to wish him a happy birthday. He also lives in C's neighborhood pretty close to his house. He has a very huge living room that we are now in. There is balcony type seating all centered around a massive window which overlooks the town in a valley below.

In the center of the valley is a massive LED laser type blue mountain in the distance. Only it is changing shapes between the mountain and a massive tree with outstretched branches. It is beautiful to look at, the symmetry of it being in the center of the window while also in the center of the valley, I stare for a while taking in the whole picture. The LEDs almost look like they are a drone swarm flying around into different shapes. I ask someone if they are drones but I don't get an answer.

While standing up in the balcony I notice there is takeout trash just laying around so I pick up trash left by the seats, they seem like takeout cutlery in plastic wrap and napkins. We are leaving now and I am helping C pack up his back pack while standing in the foyer of the home. Patrick Stewart and his wife see us off pleasantly.


There is a really bad storm outside which is approaching, it's only dark for now with a slight wind but nothing too bad. My father decides to drive out to meet my uncle for lunch assuming everything will be fine.

I am in the car with two of my friends R and E. We are driving through town as the storm begins to hit. E says everything is probably going to be fine, it won't be like before. I look out the back window as we turn onto the main street and there are multiple tornadoes forming several blocks from where we are. One massive one has met the ground and is causing an outstanding amount of damage. I see others forming beside it, some dwindle as others grow, it's as if the storm cannot fully manifest. We still drive away for them at speed while the wind and rain whip at the car we are in. I attempt to take pictures with my cellphone because this all seems too surreal. We begin to merge onto the highway but visibility has dropped due to the thick wall of water and the high wind, I notice there are accidents occurring ahead of us as we join the traffic onto the roadway.


I am now holding up in a run down building with cinder block walls and soiled concrete floor. There are goats that are wet and scared seeking shelter from the storm, I shoo them inside through an open garage door. There is also a small white and brown cow I call to come inside. I dry off some of the animals with random towels and blankets I find lying around. They are calm now and find corners of the room to settle in and sit with each other.

There are people laying on mattresses on the floor in the other room just casually on their phones not minding the storm at all. I tell them the animals are in the other room for a while to have shelter from the storm. They are fine with it, they hardly acknowledge my presence, complete apathy.


It has now been a week with no running water or electricity or economy and society has all but gone primal. It is daylight and I am wandering along a shoreline by myself just looking for something to drink. I see a water spigot near the waters edge with a container under it. All that comes out of the faucet is dirty water with floating algae in it. I contemplate boiling it clear but then decide it is sea water and wouldn't be drinkable anyway.

I see a group of people by a house or rather a shack which has heavy damage to it by the shoreline. They invite me inside for shelter. There are close to a dozen people held up in here. They give me water to drink and some small cookies to eat. I am grateful for their hospitality. I begin taking to the older couple who own the house and realize they are staunch Republicans.

They are bitching about all of this being bidens fault, how he isn't doing anything to help the people most affected by this travesty. I tell them biden isn't the president yet and that he literally has no executive power. They are completely disagreeing with me insisting the democrats did this. I tell them trump definitely the one who has left us without any aid for over a week, he is still the one in control. They are in complete denial, and I sense my welcome has all but dried up. I apologise for my attitude and thank them for the provisions while getting up from the table. I decide to
take my leave and the dream fades.

Long dreams but poor recall again. Dream vividness/in-dream detail has been fairly high.

29th December 2020

Fragment:

Was getting out of a house, getting ready to go somewhere. I climb some roof or something like and for some reason I get something really bad in my left leg, it's very painful. My leg gets amputated below the knee.

Then I'm in a classroom? I walk around, dealing with phantom limb sensations. I tell some therapist I'll try the mirror box theory later when I get a chance, to try and teach my leg/brain that things are different now. I see B from school and talk to him about some drawings he'd made.

The phantom limb can somehow still hold or move a sandal at the end of where my foot would actually be. I can see the old missing bit of my leg, as if it was phasing in and out.

30th December 2020

Dream, fragmented:

Driving on a motorway/highway. J and my siblings talking to me in a street? I'm in a city of some kind, it's day time. It seems quiet but not overly so, just like not a lot of people actually live here or lead peaceful lives. J was comforting me in some kind of parental way, but I don't remember about what.

At some point my view changes and it becomes top-down. Things look a bit like Factorio. I launch a nuke ICBM from a silo and after going up out of sight it comes back down only a few structures away from the silo. The silo is OK after this but most of the rest in the area gets destroyed; robots quickly start replacing most of it and I try to manually place some alternate structures.

(transition gap)

At a castle, there with mom and T. We take a walk around the outer area of the castle, close to the walls. At some point I climb up some tower. It's really high up and I can see the sky and the sun, as well as distant mountains. Sunset.

Later in the same area, something about a couple of roofers. I take away a couple of carrier bags and T helps me. I ask if they have some drinks because I'm taking the cola away with me. I accidentally lose grip and drop the carrier bag with it down a flight of worn stone stairs. I don't worry and let out an "oops". T gets slightly upset, or annoyed.

Then at ground level in an inner courtyard area. I look around and see limestone? yellow-ish stone, into which there are relief carvings and sculptures. I feel compelled to clean these carefully, they're covered in moss and general dirt.

(transition gap)

Then I'm on a bus with aunt B and mom. B is telling a story about ravines in Germany and how they are very popular attractions. The bus driver is sort of at the middle/back of the bus. It has a weird layout but looks standard otherwise. I think the driver struggles with seeing where he's going and it feels like there's a lot of traffic around us. It's an overcast day but I remember we go through a tunnel at some point. I remember seeing the ravines my aunt was on about, but partly in my mind, but as vividly as if real?

(then, many fragments)

Views of animated scenes with M/M themes. I think something to myself, a kind of feeling of envy (about the authors?) but the specifics are lost. I look up images of Zor'Drak for some reason. The same themes again, explicit in some cases. One picture is of him with an open maw and a tiny creature on his tongue, pleasuring itself; they both seem to be enjoying the activity. There's a light and warm glow coming from deeper inside the mouth. The description mentions "Ezekiel" and it seems this has something to do with the smaller character.

24th December 2020

Scraps:

(recall faded too much to record details) Dream with pre-lucid thoughts, inside another dream. Don't remember how the transition "out" of the "deeper" dream worked.

26th December 2020

Scraps:

Vague recall of using an auction house in WoW, likely in Ironforge. I was looking at or for a Warlods' Deck or a Heroism card.

In a separate dream/sequence, vague visual recall of some symbolic shapes, mostly relating to genitals.

28th December 2020

Fragment:

I'm a priest of sorts? Both literally and as a sort of RPG class. Recall being in an ancient but intact Greek temple, which has Egyptian styled elements present.

A bit earlier but in the same location, I'm in a group with T and old friends like M. At the end my old friends are being nasty to me. I remember violence and anger, also from my part. I threw brass vases and other decorative items. There were a pair of scrapyard-like crushers outside the temple; the outdoor area seems to have been made up mostly of rough-hewn limestone; there's a vague feeling of it being similar to certain temple locations from Saint Seya. Arrived on bicycles with two other people, but on the way to the temple we had been intercepted by another group of individuals, I don't recall our interactions.

Earlier still? I could give blessings and fortitude (as if buffs or spells) at no cost since I was a priest. It was implied or I had intuitive knowledge that it would otherwise cost reagents and gold coins to do this.