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I was watching some ridiculous on-stage performance where some "bad guy" was causing problems for this "good guy" and his woman so the guy strikes back and end up capturing the villain and hoisting him up into the air after tying him up with ropes around his body. Pretty sure there was a ball-gag used on him to shut him up...

Also, I was moving somewhere and this semi truck picked up my furniture. Inside the back of the truck were a lot of other people living. They slept on their beds and had all their furniture. Abigail was staying on the bed next to me. I thought it was funny that we were going to be bed-mates.

Date Reservation (LUCID)

As I walk past the front desk of a cafe, I see a high school classmate whom I've always thought quite attractive. I haven't talked to her in a long time, but unfortunately I'm busy. So when we make eye contact, I only say "Hi!" and indicate that I don't have time to talk. A few steps later, though, I regret it. It seems really rude to pass up the chance to catch up with an old acquaintance. I wish I was in the sort of world where I could just walk up and cuddle with people and no one would care. But wait, I am! I'm dreaming! I don't even bother with a reality check before I turn around and walk back towards her.

Hesitantly, I sidle up to her and put my arm around her waist. Her shirt feels like it's made of some kind of silky fabric. Her only reaction to this seems to be resignation; she continues talking with the front desk clerk, with occasionally a few words for me. I stare at her eyes. They're pretty, and I think green, but it's like looking at a picture. Nothing moves much, and I can't read anything from her face. Eventually she says, "Come on, our table's this way." I guess she's done arranging things with the clerk.

We have a circular table right next to a window. Every other table in the cafe has a dark surface, but ours is quartered in primary colors: one quadrant red, one green, one yellow, one blue. "Of course," I groan. Of course our table would be singled out in the most gaudy way possible. And when we get nearer, I see that my chair is covered in crumbs and other meal residue. Ugh. "Well," I say, "the only thing to do is wipe it off." We commence using our hands to brush the crumbs onto the floor. It takes a while. [Clearly I wasn't very lucid by this point.]

Meanwhile, the girl is giving me a few warnings. She says, "If this is about Uncle Bill, please don't be too awkward about it." Somehow she's romantically involved with him, I guess? It's become clear she's rather uncomfortable with the whole situation, and I'm starting to get uncomfortable, too. I wonder if maybe I should try to do some other dream goals, like swimming beneath the ocean. Maybe I could take her with me; she might like that. I ask, "Do you . . . want to go . . . somewhere else, after this?" But whatever her answer, I wake up a few moments later.

Insomnia

Spoiler for Insomnia:

[After waking from that last dream, I tried to picture it in my mind as I fell back asleep. But that only made it harder for me to fall back asleep, I think. I don't remember when I finally dropped off, but this next dream was probably inspired by those feelings of frustration.]

It's almost dawn, but I'm still awake. I woke up a while ago from a dream and I haven't been able to get back to sleep. I'm using the computer. Watching videos. Mostly porn. One of the "related videos" on the side has a title that starts with "OMG OMG OMG" and I'm very tempted to click it, before I realize that's exactly what the title's intended to do. The video's probably really stupid. I must be really tired, if I almost fell for that one. I don't watch it.

Later, I find a porn video whose title includes the name of one of my high school crushes. And the thumbnail even looks like her. I'm intrigued, so I watch it. It's kind of sexy, although she never takes off any underwear. I probably should have expected that. She was pretty classy when I knew her.

I look out the window and see one of my roommates coming up the driveway on a motorcycle. Huh. I hadn't realized he wasn't home. It's almost seven, so he must just be coming to grab his stuff before going to class. It's a school day. I suppose he slept at some girl's place last night. I'm a bit jealous.

I look back at the video. Surprisingly, now her bra is on backwards, although it has a wide strap. I hadn't noticed that, the first time through. She takes it off entirely--that takes a moment to register--then turns around and leans over. I lean closer to investigate, but a moment later I wake up. (Messily.)

House of Spirits

I'm playing a game where you live in a house with a bunch of spirits. Most of the spirits are evil, so you have to fight them. It's multiplayer, and there are a few other people in the house with me right now. We're going through the rooms trying to roust all of the evil spirits so that none of them will surprise us in our sleep. Usually they don't wake up if you just walk through the room, but they will if you say anything aloud.

While sort of alone in one wing, I accidentally talk to myself, and a spirit starts to coalesce out of the air. Oops. He offers to duel with me, and he even offers to let me use a pretty nice weapon (like a crowbar or something). That's much better than the weapons this game usually lets you use, so this sounds good to me. But spirits can be tricky, so I ask him what his own weapons will be. "Oh, just this metal letter opener and [some other sharp household implement]," he replies. Then he attacks, before I have a chance to realize that his weapons are much more dangerous than mine.

We battle through hallways and rooms. Some other people see us and shout and point, and try to come to assist me. In the end, we defeat the spirit. The rest of the group continues looking for other spirits, but I suddenly realize how silly all of this is. Ghosts aren't real, and I'm tired. I just want to go to bed. My dad sees me abandoning the hunt and starts arguing with me. In response, I try to explain to him that this house isn't even real. It's virtual. Not worth worrying about, see?

sitting at bench asking all them questions lol to Luke on is it because i'm ugly hell na. just replied i was normal walking from school. we saw cheerleaders walkin past . then they went back to where they originally came from.

wasnt really a nightmare cause it was more like i was watchen a movie than involved with it. there kas a referee during a girls teams for basketball to decide who would get the bell. it was 3 teams nd he stalle d s o muc h and did like the longest inie meenie minie mo people went crazy after ehe picked blue even some of the girlsl were pissed. on the way back to there llittle home a girl in a white dress wiwth blood on her lips cahsed another girl into a bathroom, she like loooked like she wanted to eat the girl and then she had the girl like frozen in the stall some how. when the next girl walked in she chased her to and made that girl like stand dead frozene peeing on the round as she cried. her body blinked as a skeleton so i didnt know which girl was alive or dead. than a sgtronger looking girl wlaked in nd i dont know who won that fight. i

i was going on some trip with my mom but o gpt side rracked with grandma and grandpa and never made it to the vacation.

the other part of the dream i was with hayley and i dont know what we were going but it felt good to see her. eventualy i ended up at my house and i took out the porche go coart for a ride around taylor and was diong a great job shifting when the cops told me to go no further i turned around and made it through some gift shosp that i bought some blue berry potion from that made you dream. i alsaas...... On THE WAY HOME i realized holy shit im dreaming and i can drive this go cart however i want. i decided id drive through a car and i hit the car. i got back in the cart but soon for got i iwas dreaming. next time i will Get up and do somthing completly off the path of wheree my dream was going

Dream - Lucid

I was at my house, in my kitchen. My great-grandparents, whom in waking life I've never met and are long dead, were coming into town, and MK was getting a...body transplant? She was getting her consciousness put into another body, though the exact reason why eludes me. I want to say she was very sick. I kept thinking about and trying to figure out how in the world they could do that.

Then, she was at my house in the kitchen with us, standing by the pantry, with her consciousness transplanted into another body. She looked almost exactly the same, only younger, more youthful. She also had straight bangs, which I don't know that she's ever had aside from when she was a child. She was wearing a blue and white striped sweater/shirt with dark blue jeans. Her outfit was really cute, like something she would actually wear.

She looked happy, content. It was good to see her like that.

Then, she walked over to the stove in the kitchen to get something. I saw her from behind. Her hair was very long, reaching the middle of her back; much longer than I've seen it in waking life. Actually, from the front, I had thought it looked quite short before she turned around.

I then was in the living room. My great-grandparents walked in. My mom and great-grandma hugged. Everyone seemed happy. They didn't look that old at all, not even as old as my grandparents are IWL. The great-grandma even had some black hair left; it wasn't all grey. She was wearing a white and red striped shirt, and her hair was very, very short. The great-grandpa was sitting in a chair by the fireplace. He had a white, long mustache and white, wispy hair, but he was bald on the top of his head. He was a little bigger, while my great-grandma was tall and thin. He sat there with his arms crossed.

I was then in some science center for kids, mimicking places like that I went as a child. I wanted to go down this long, dark tunnel, like I had as a child, because it was some kind of fun cave exhibit/tour. The tunnel was so dark, you could see absolutely nothing in front of you. I was standing at the entrance. I saw children running in and disappearing into the black, and started to run after them. Before I woke up, I thought that it may not be as fun because I'm older now, and I was gonna be the oldest person in there or something. That didn't stop me from going, however.

~

I dreamed then that my mom was going to pick my great-grandparents up at the airport, and I wasn't sure whether or not I was going to go with her. I asked if she would be mad if I didn't. I don't remember what she said. She was then mad at my great-grandma for something. I then saw a flash of my pen pal's letter, saying he felt he was soon to die. Somehow, that connected with my mom being mad at my great-grandma. I felt her anger was irrational.

I was then looking in the fridge for something, in a kitchen that looked completely different from my own, when Jackie from That 70's Show said
"Good, now you can _________." (I can't remember exactly what she said there).
She then went on about Kelso. I had only been going in the fridge looking for something to eat. I decided to just let her think I was doing whatever she thought I was doing.

I then saw a photo of MK in her new body again. She was wearing the same clothes as in the last dream, and had the same hairstyle, but she was now wearing a cute black hat on too. She was at a restaurant, sitting at a booth. She was smiling.

First off, I wanna say that after two weeks, I can pretty confidently say that not fapping can greatly improve vividness and complexity of dreams!

Dream one, was waiting for the bus to school, it was abnormally bright, and I start talking to this guy who works in chicago but lives in the suburbs. And he was smoking a brier(a specific kind of pipe, that I probably dreamt about because it was in one of the stories I recently read in school). So he got on some random yellow bus that said something about Chicago, I believe that I just forgot about my own body and started just seeing the dream from his perspective. He had brown short hair, a snazzy tux, and come to think of it, looked a little like "Harvey" from "Suits". So yeah not much else happened, just went to chicago and the dream faded.

Then I had another dream about being at a golf course, everyone was smoking weed out of the briers (has no connection to me, never done any drugs before) but none of them actually seemed high. So they were all laying down on golf carts that weren't touching the ground, kinda looked like starwars speeders. So apparently these guys got the pipes from these notebooks that the golf course interns gave them. And there were tees in there too... So tons of nonsensical and I picked up on none of it. :/ But still was fun. Can't remember much else from that dream.

09.15.2012

Urge to Kill Myself (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside somewhere, and it feels like an apartment because everything is so enclosed and small. The surroundings inside are hard to recall exactly, all I know is that it had dark colors, and that it was mostly blurry. That's probably because I wasn't using my peripheral vision a lot.

My mother is inside with me, and I believe she's wearing a Black nightgown. I don't know why she needs to be here, but whatever it is, it doesn't seem to be anything positive at all. I can't recall the majority of our conversation, the interchanging emotions is too much to ignore to filter out what we were really saying to each other.

There's one part where I'm outside with her, maybe 3-5 feet away from the entrance to the same apartment or complex we were in a while ago. Again, I can't remember what she was telling me, but it was tempting enough for me to grab her collar, lift her up again, and with sporadic rage, I most likely yelled back as well.

It was like talking to a Chihuahua...all bark and no bite, but I don't understand why I would be so passive aggressive. We're back inside the apartment, or maybe I'm having trouble with the plot of where the scenes went first, and I see that she's just standing there, trying to be aggressive towards me, but all she's doing is yelling at me.

To see if she's just there to blabber and remain intolerant of anything I have to declare to her, I professed,

"I just want to kill myself!"

Wait...wait...wait...noo....you're supposed to say that$@%$

I stood still, waiting for her response, already formulating what she could be thinking right, which would be to tell my father what I would say. The tingling feeling in my head became stronger, and when she asked, "HUH!?!?!" it's like the vibrations getting even stronger than before.

To be honest, I wonder if this DC of my mother feeds off of my rage....

After she goes back with her jargon of yelling, I muffled out the auditory input somehow, and instead of fighting her back with yelling and threats, I decided to just calm down.

I thought about what my father would say if she told him this, but I didn't even care anymore.

This same moment is what confuses me, maybe I was lucid at this point, but it's so hard to tell.

Whatever it is that I do, I knew that any action contributing to these moments of spoteniety would be useless, and I continued to eradicate any urge to express rage towards my mother.

My intuition tells me the purpose of this dream is trying to portray my relationship between my parents. It's most likely my paranoia of what will happen next in the dream that keeps me on edge, when it's really just a dream.

It's useless to waste time portraying rage to dream characters that represent your parents....they're all fleeting dreams, what's the point in being angry at these imaginary figures in the first place. I also have another gut feeling that this also a sign of my daily annoyance of my dreams sustaining a vague intention of trying to give me a message, and I always assume it's random.

But at the same time, I can't even become analytical of them because I'm already set with this preconception that it's really just too random to apply conscious reasoning.

Maybe they're all random because as long as my annoyance in trying to maintain my discipline in recording these dreams, no matter how absurd or boring they may be, it will continue to be that way unless I change something.

So now what? Just let go of everything that I'm thinking?

I already know where I leads...even when I really do "let myself go" with not worrying too much on rationalization, because it's just ends up being shit, and it's really distracting me what I have to do in waking life, which is obviously just to make sure I don't end up in the soils of the earth too early.

Bleh. "Soils of the earth" lol, I must be crazy.

~~~~~~~
On a random note,

I listened to this song in the Prince of Tennis Soundtrack, and realize how amazing it feels listening to it.

I remember when watching the show, Ryoma Echizen (the main character) would be in a nearly impossible situation in a tennis game. He would be down 2 games, and the opponent would be leading 40-0.

Then the moment that song starts, the build up in the first seconds seconds, comes his favorite phrase...

"Mada Mada Dane" (You Still have Lots more to work on/ You Still have a Ways To go)

And he just rapes the whole match with these insane moves, it was so fun listening to the music and seeing Ryoma win the match, and as the music is about to end, the umpire would say,

"GAME!"



"SET!"

"MATCH!"

"RYOMA ECHIZEN!!"



Lol, that's a complete turnaround from the dream I just had.

I cant remember all the details exactly, because i woke up laughing really hard.

So, in the dream, my dad and I were walking through this abandoned warehouse. I was in a shopping cart for some reason, and when we turned a corner slender man was standing there. This happened a few more times before i realized he couldn't hurt me since i was in a dream. So, I smiled real wide and we kept walking around the place. The next time he appeared, i looked right at him with my smile and then his suit inverted, and he grew a face. His face was really terrified, like i was the scariest thing he's ever seen. Then we started flapping his arms around and running away. We chased him for a few minutes before i ended up in a bedroom by myself.

This is where it made me wake up laughing.

I laid down on the bed because I was tired for some reason. And then slender man walked through the door, he got up right beside me and i smiled again. He inverted and grew a face again, but this time, he started whistling Christmas music. Like Jingle Bells or something. Then i started whistling too.

It was such a weird dream....

wasnt really a nightmare cause it was more like i was watchen a movie than involved with it. there kas a referee during a girls teams for basketball to decide who would get the bell. it was 3 teams nd he stalle d s o muc h and did like the longest inie meenie minie mo people went crazy after ehe picked blue even some of the girlsl were pissed. on the way back to there llittle home a girl in a white dress wiwth blood on her lips cahsed another girl into a bathroom, she like loooked like she wanted to eat the girl and then she had the girl like frozen in the stall some how. when the next girl walked in she chased her to and made that girl like stand dead frozene peeing on the round as she cried. her body blinked as a skeleton so i didnt know which girl was alive or dead. than a sgtronger looking girl wlaked in nd i dont know who won that fight. i

i was going on some trip with my mom but o gpt side rracked with grandma and grandpa and never made it to the vacation.

9/15 - Short WILD

Used WBTB for about 45 minutes after waking up at 6

After laying down it took awhile to reach imagery. After reaching imagery the first time I paid to much attention to it and set myself back a bit, the next couple times the same thing happened but after a few tries I made it to a transition. My transition was a flash of white followed by the pattern that is on my blanket. I kept my eyes closed, letting the imagery fade and tried to let my dream stabilize before attempting anything. After waiting for about a minute in a black void I opened my dream eyes and found myself in a bed wrapped in covers. The images were very groggy, as I stood up I kept repeating clarity and my dream became noticeably more vivid but nothing like the level of detail I've experienced in the past. Next to the bed was a large bay window and outside of the window sat 4 empty beach chairs fully reclined on a concrete patio that was surrounded by trees. I decided I wanted to go outside so I tried to walk through the window. My attempt was unsuccessful so I walked back and ran into the window trying to pass through it. This time I slammed into the window, again failing to pass through it. As this happened people appeared outside of the window and began walking towards me. They were nonthreatening and seemed to wonder why I was running into the window. As I began to think about how to pass through the window my dream faded without me noticing and I could hear the familiar sound of my bedroom fan.

After this WILD I attempted two more. Both attempts failed and I slipped into non-lucid dreams that were very odd. One involved a FA that I never acknowledged until waking up and the other involved a group of people and a car pulling up to me demanding that I get in. After declining and walking away I had a small child tell me it was time to go on my journey and that I needed to go with the car.

Both the dreams were very thought provoking and while I did not experience the best WILD the dreams that came following the WILD were well worth the effort put into the attempts.


Notes: WBTB 45 minutes @ 6am, sleep mask, ear plugs, fan

I had a really weird dream last night. I was in my room, cutting up a dead dog for some reason. It didn't seem to faze me at all that I was cutting up a dead dog, though. Then I noticed there was a lot of blood. Again, I was still totally unfazed by it, but I was kind of freaking out not because there was blood everywhere but because it was making a mess.

3rd person view, again. Iam bound in a watchamacallit, you know, the shirt madmen are bound in insane asylums. Bodiless voice sentences me to 29 years of isolation. ouch.

I dream as madmen do in lovecraftian sense. IÄ IÄ SHUB NIGGURATH!!!! IÄ CHTULHU!"! CHTLUHU FATANG!!!!!

I am not lucid yet. I walk to an old castle gate. It is made out of mashed emotional symbols. Two guardian friars open it. DC's, possibly awakened.

Chair in castle. long corridor of library. The dream changes and i am back in my place of origin, behind an old tracktor garage, with a golden bell.

Hear ye hear ye! this is the sound of Anukramet's dreamtime!

It is my statement here to collect dreams old and new, not necessarily in chronologistical order...


Old dream1:

I see myself from 3rd person view. Darkness everywhere. I walk with my friend PP. Something to do with the sword I requested later in life. I Fly...to find it maybe?

The Perfect Girl

7:00 AM: I was with some guys in my old, yellow Lincoln. I don't know where we were going, but we saw some people in another car. I saw a gorgeous girl in the car and everyone knew I liked her.

They were telling me I should talk to her, but I'm shy and afraid of rejection, so I told them that I couldn't. Eventually, we saw those people pull off into a parking lot and get out. They were going to a club. The girl took of a layer of clothes and now she was in a black bikini. Her curves were incredible.

I was thinking about her for the rest of my dream. I dropped my friends off at another party. I hung around for a while outside of where I dropped off my friends.

Dream skip

There is a segment where I'm walking around. There is some kind of plug like a cigarette lighter that plugs in outside as though it were a DC plug. I saw someone else take one to keep and I wanted one too, but I was having a hard time getting it without being caught.

I ended up at another building where I had some stress about finding some place, hanging out with my car, switching my car for another one...just a bunch of weird, random shit. Finally, here comes the party of people with that hot girl.

I kind of ignore her because somehow I knew I couldn't have her. We were sitting outside in like a covered garage. Everyone except the girl I liked left, and we were left to our own devices. I showed her that I had picked up her pants when she took them off and threw them in the parking lot, and now I was wearing them. They had a suede leather belt like one I used to have. She couldn't believe I was wearing them.

She started singing and doing her thing. I was trying to hear the song that was playing on her boom box. The band was Excel or Excelsior or something (a made up band), but I started listening more closely and I heard "Institutionalized" playing. I got really excited and talked to the girl. I said, "The Suicidal Tendencies? I used to listen to this in my room and stage dive on my sofa!"

Then we started thrashing and looking for a place to stage dive. We found a grave yard and we thought about stage diving onto a grave, but decided against it. We never actually found a place, but we got together and started walking back to our chairs. We were getting along great!

I really liked this girl. She was taking off her shoes, and I knew something was going to happen. I told her that I had no problem being with her and that I wasn't afraid, but I couldn't kiss her because of some issue, and that was the end of that.
I was very upset.

The End