All DJ Entries

I wish I had better internet at home so I could post here every day. I hate having big gaps between my DJ posts, because then I'm scrambling to put in a whole bunch of stuff instead of being able to write out one or two detailed dreams at a time. Oh well.

~Biology class was being taught underwater. At one point I asked the teacher how we were all able to breathe, and she informed me that it was called "sidestepping," then proceeded to lecture the class on it.

~I was in a huge attic space, mostly empty except for a few pieces of furniture covered with white sheets. I lifted one of the sheets and was looking at the dusty table under it when a zombie suddenly burst into the room. It looked like a blond-haired boy around 16 or 17 years old, only with his skin falling off and everything. He chased me around and I ran out of the room, which led to a parking lot. There were a few other zombies and my friend Caceti. She must have been some kind of ninja assassin, because she was beating the crap out of all the zombies at a bazillion miles an hour. I went back into the attic because I thought she'd kill the one that had been after me. He came back a minute or two later, however, and I just got irritated and told him to go ahead and eat me. He said, "Really?", and I said "Yeah, whatever." Then, of all places to start, he bit my knee. It kind of tickled.

~I was in a car with two friends. We were driving through town, but then it changed to some place with metal sculptures everywhere. Even the road was made of thousands of overlapping metal leaves. The overall look of the place was very beautiful, but also a bit creepy. We went through a tunnel and came out in a normal city. A semi pulled out in front of us and the car slammed into it. All of us shouted, "WHAT THE ULEY!?" at the same time. We weren't hurt, just annoyed that now the car was stuck halfway under a semi. After a few seconds the driver got out, looked at us, and started eating a sandwich.

~My friend Austin caught some type of endangered butterfly.

~Another one of those dreams that had an elaborate storyline I can't remember, and that would make no sense if I could. It involved a murderer, the number 1, the entrance to a sewer that happened to be in the wall of my grandma's basement, and probably many more random things.

~Buying a little glass flower to give to someone.

I wasn't really able to write these down until now, I just had lots of things to do.
I have noticed that my dream recall has been acting a bit weird over the past few days.
I just seem to remember a ton of dreams, though most of them are very vague and fragmented.
My dreams don't seem to be more vivid or any longer though, so I'm not really sure if it's "better".
Nevertheless it feels weird remembering like ~10 different fragments a day.
These are a few interesting ones.



Totm Attempt #1: Butterfly
I WILD during an afternoon nap, trying to complete the Totm.
I'm quite confident that I'll manage to succeed on the first try.

My dream starts on "the beach".
For some reason some of my WILD's randomly seem to start out on this beach.
It always looks the same, and it is always dusk.
I remember the Totm and approach the water in order to walk on it.
This is going to be easy I have done this many times before.

But as I approach the beach I suddenly spot a butterfly.
It is extremely colorful, with very colorful and vivid patterns on its wings.
It's emitting glowing particles.
I follow it, intrigued as to where it is going and completely forget about the Totm.


Totm Attempt #2:
I have another dream of being lost in an unknown hotel.
I become lucid and remember the Totm.
The dream is unstable and I'm not thinking very clearly.
Instead of stabilizing, I start running around aimlessly, attempting to find a water surface.
The dream quickly fades to black and ends.


The hibiscus girl:
I had another dream about the hibiscus girl: Another mysterious woman / Emotional and sensory overload - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
Unfortunately my recall of it is quite bad.

This time we are on the surface of another planet.
She has a red hibiscus attached to her left ear, looking very similar to the one drawn on her bikini last time.
We're having a discussion, I demand to know who she is.
She refuses to tell me though.
It seems clear by now that she is reading my DJ, I'm considering that she might be a DV member.
I make the comment that she has an "unfair advantage" over me, because she's able to read my DJ, yet I know nothing about her.

But she keeps denying my requests, and says that she likes being in control.
I remember that last time she was able to drag me to another place by simply looking into my eyes.
I attempt to do the same thing to her, and manage to drag her to the beach.

This surprises her quite a bit, but it also seems to amuse her.
I say that I never stated that I write everything down in my online DJ, she might be in for a few surprises.
She makes a comment that makes me believe that this is some sort of game to her.
I somehow understand this reasoning though and begin to share it.


Totm Attempt #3:
I decide to attempt the Totm yet again. I'm determined to complete both tasks.
I do it during an afternoon nap yet again since I had some success last time, except that I got distracted.

Surprisingly, I enter the dream on the beach yet again.
This time I decide to stabilize the dream though, and calm my mind.
I rub my hands and slowly approach the sea.
I feel the sand beneath my toes. It's still moderately warm.

For some reason I'm a bit nervous as I start walking on the water surface.
Oddly enough I seem to be afraid to fail, even though I've done it many times before.
Fortunately, it works flawlessly.
I walk on the water, deeper into the sea with my arms stretched out for additional balance.

Alright, so far so good, controlling elements is next.
I look at my right hand and make it catch on fire.
This is quite straightforwards as I have manipulated fire many times before.
But what other element could I possibly manipulate?
Water...? No. That's probably too hard.

I create an arc of lightning between two of my fingers.
I think that I have completed the Totm for a moment, but then realize that lighting isn't exactly one of the 4 elements.
What were the other ones again?
Fire, Water... Earth? I wouldn't know what to do with earth...
Wind it is.

I compress some of the air around me into my right fist and release it forwards.
This creates a shock and air is propelled forwards.
The pressure upsets the water surface.

I'm not really satisfied with the result though.
I do the same thing again, this time compressing much more air.
This time it creates a small tornado, that runs flat over the water surface.
It lifts some of it up and sprays it all over the place.

I'm quite satisfied, and happy that I managed to complete both tasks within a single dream.
I decide to dive into the sea to see if I'll find something interesting, but it doesn't take long until I wake up.


Destiny:
After a long time, I've started having dream fragments of "Destiny" yet again: Recurring dream about a spaceship mission to find extraterrestrial life. - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
None of them drove "the plot" forward though.
I was always on board the Destiny completing a random task.
My memories of the dream fragments are quite vague.

My dream recall is still quite bad, but from time to time I still have a vivid lucid fortunately.

I wake up.
I'm in bed at my parents place, and immediately I notice that something feels completely off.
I get up and investigate my surroundings.
Most of my stuff is missing. I used to have a tv here, and an old computer I turned into a fileserver.
All of that, including my desk, all of it is gone.
Everything feels sort of dull and grey, like I'm not really aware.

Awareness? I wonder if I'm dreaming. Yes! I must be!
I rub my hands. Weird, doing so feels very vivid and intense, why is everything so grey?
I decide it is not the dream that is not vivid/stable, but that my room isn't lit properly.
I open the window of my room wanting to jump out.

What is this? Everything is so green. I am in a tropical forest.
What is my parents house doing in a tropical forest?
I jump down to investigate further.
There are small lakes everywhere and the air is very fresh.
I follow one of the lakes enjoying the nice air, feeling the wind on my skin and looking at the sun rays shining through the leaves of the trees covering the sky.
Somehow I feel attracted to a specific location not far away.

Once I get there I find a caterpillar on a big leaf.
It is very colorful and excited.
Why do I know it is excited? I can clearly feel it.
I approach it and look at it very closely.
It's moving to the edge of the leaf and lets itself hang down from the edge.

It quickly transforms into a chrysalis.
How interesting, will I see it transform into a butterfly?
I can feel excitement yet again. But it is not my excitement, it is the one of the caterpillar.
It becomes clear to me that I can somehow feel what the caterpillar is feeling.
It is afraid. Afraid because it knows it's whole body is about to be turned upside down, all it's organs rearranged.
But this feeling is completely overwhelmed by the excitement of becoming a butterfly, and being able to fly.

As it's body starts transforming, the soon to be butterfly is starting to dream.
It dreams about being a butterfly and flying through the skies.
It is no longer worried, just extremely excited.
At some point I think about telling it to control its excitement, or else it might wake up.
But then I realize I wouldn't know how to do that.

The butterfly wakes up, knowing that the metamorphosis is completed.
It emerges from the chrysalis and spreads its wings.
They are very beautiful, with very strong tones of orange red and yellow.
Even though the butterfly is so excited to fly, it has to wait until its wings are hardened.

Once they are, the butterfly takes off and flies high off into the sky.
It immediately knows how to fly and how to be a butterfly, even though it was a caterpillar all its life.

I was in some sort of trial, I had been bio-engineered to contain butterfly DNA, in the hopes that I could fly. I remember being in Port Macquarie, though my purpose there I'm not sure of. It was night, and I was on one of the higher levels of the resort, though the room didn't resemble anywhere I've ever been before. I could feel I was different, I could physically feel that if I learned to, I could fly, as though I had wings in my back.

I have a fragment of being in a carpark, it was daytime. We were going to court, something about my modifications. I don't remember the first visit or anything that happened during it, it is all blank.

I made the decision, I was going to have to learn to fly. I went to a field, long, stretching glass plains and tried to fly, but I failed. I needed to get my father to help me. My dad was in the loungeroom, with 3 other people. One was his business partner, the other my dentist, and I'm not sure on the 4th, but I believe he was old. They were all drunk, and relaxing in soft padded lounge chairs. It was late afternoon, and a soft, warm sunlight filled the room, but the atmosphere was still tense for me.
"I'm going to learn to fly. I want to, all the hormones in my body are telling me I have to, there's no reason not to."
They didn't seem as disturbed as I thought they were going to be, and I told them I would owe them a 6 pack for helping me.

The dream skips, and I am in court again. Artificial lighting, lots of wooden furniture and walls. I believe I was being told that I wasn't allowed to learn to fly. All the people here wore suits, with extremely pale skin. One old man in particular glowed blue, and stared at me and hissed. They had some sort of paper shredder made out of spinning knives in a box.

I wish I remembered more of this dream. I thought and felt as though I was in waking reality throughout the whole dream, and it was one of the most vivid dreams I've had in a long time. I could physically feel how I would use my wings, it's such a weird sensation and I can stir the feeling in waking life. The men in the suits have me confused, they had a very, very strong presence.

Good morning, everybody.

Dream #1

I was walking through a street in my old neighborhood. I came to a three-way intersection. The left road went past my old elementary school. The right road went past a grocery store.

It was night and dark. There were no streetlights. The sky seemed purple, as if somewhere in the distance there were lights.

There were a good amount of people walking around on the street. Nobody, including me, was acting as if there was no power and light.

I walked along the right road and crossed the street to get to the sidewalk in front of the grocery store. As I did, another man walked behind me, continuing along the sidewalk I had just been on.

The man was on a cell phone. He was bragging really loud to somebody about having arranged things with the people at his work so that he could alternate work between New York and Atlanta.

I knew the man was trying to get my attention and trying to make me feel like he had a better job than I. I tried not to worry about the guy, although I did think that being able to live in one other place as well as New York would be pretty cool. Atlanta seemed pretty far. I thought Boston might be nice.

There was a tree in the middle of the street. It had fallen, but the trunk was still connected to the stump. It didn't seem too wide -- maybe only 33cm or so in diameter. But it was like I was walking below it. It was completely blocking the road. I had to get past it. I pushed against it, but I don't think I actually lifted it or moved it out of the way. I was then past it.

I was on the sidewalk in front of the grocery store. There was a pretty girl somewhere. I may have thought about telling her something about how I live in New York and Boston.

Then I started seeing black butterflies. They floated at about waist height, occasionally coming up to my head, and they flew very slowly. They were about 15cm wide, and in the dark they looked like living shadows.

I walked under the canopy of a scraggly sidewalk tree. There were more black butterflies. They were floating through what seems now like either the suckers of the tree or some kind of barren shrub.

I was shocked by the strange sight of the butterflies. I told myself there was no way these things could be butterflies. I told myself that butterflies didn't fly around in the dark. I thought they were bats. But they flew too slow to be bats.

Eventually I told myself they must be moths. That seemed more reasonable than their being butterflies, although not as mystical. But, still, I told myself, even for moths, these things have such a strange appearance.

Dream #2

I was in an area like a hallway for a smallish performance and rehearsal space. The place felt warm, warmly lit, and nice. The ceilings may have been high up, even though the space wasn't big.

I sat on a stool. I sat before a doorway. The door was the kind that has a split halfway up so you can open the top or bottom half only if you want. The bottom half was closed, and there was a ledge on it, which I was using for a counter.

A pale, white man stood on the other side of the door. Behind him was a room with dimensions like for a performance space, but filled with stuff like for a living room or bedroom. This space also felt warm and nice.

The man told me about some special cocktail he had made. I could see it in my mind's eye. It was very colorful. It had green in it, and possibly yellow, like pineapples. It may have been topped with whipped cream and a cherry.

The man offered to make me a special cocktail. I didn't feel like drinking, so I declined. But the guy seemed really intent on making the cocktail, which he seemed really proud of. So I finally accepted.

I have had a similar dream that has occured 3 times now in the past 2 months that I can remember. The first 2 dreams of this kind happened within the same month. The 3rd one happened just last week. In all 3 dreams there was a spider web and a spider. The first dream there was a fly that kept flying into the web and I kept telling it No! Stay away from the web & stop flying into it...but the fly didn't listen. I woke up as I saw the spider crawling to the fly. The 2nd dream involved a butterfly that was stuck to the web and couldn't get away. I watched as the spider attacked the butterfly and ate it. The most recent and 3rd dream involved a small bird, maybe a sparrow, that kept flying into the web similar to the first dream.

I am walking beside tall, handsome elf through a creepy, haunted looking forest at night. My elf companion has long dark brown hair, a smooth narrow face and is wearing dark red velvet clothing. I have pale blond hair and have on a purple Victorian style silk gown, with a black hooded cloak overtop. (The dress looked similar to this, except it was purple.) We are walking down a dirt road through the forest. Because I cannot see very well in the dark, and there is no moon to provide illumination, the elf insists that I stay close to him.

I have a palm sized, metal item that looks like one half of a purple, blue and gold butterfly. There are various indentations on the back that make me think it is a key of some sort. I do not know the reason, but I sense that I am supposed to find the other half.

There is a large gnarled tree in the middle of the road just ahead of us. There is a woman who looks similar to me (only she has golden hair and is wearing a light blue gown and a white cloak) standing under the tree, waving at us to come over. She is lithe and bubbly and seems to give of a dim light that reflects her glowing personality. Behind her I can see a large iron gate that is covered with think tangled vines. I want to move on but my bubbly doppleganger wants to solicalize with the elf and I and will not let us pass until we do so.

She knows the elf and volunteers information about a past relationship the once shared. The handsome elf smiles at her and they both seem enthralled with each other's presence. I am anxious and eager to go to the iron gate; I can feel something drawing me to the darkness beyond. The woman in the blue dress is telling me what attributes of the elf she like's the most. I very vivdly remember her saying, with much longing in her voice "...his hair, his smell... his testicles..."

The elf and the woman fall into each other's arms, onto the grass under the tree and start making out. I take this opportunity to investigate the iron gate. One of the bars has rusted out and I am able to slip through the gap after brushing aside some tangled vines.

Beyond the gate there is a small garden that is illuminated by four lamps in each corner. In the middle of the garden is a double tiered fountain. Other than the soft trickle of water, the garden is eeirily silent. The temperature in the garden drops dramatically and it becomes very cold. On the other side of the garden is two large doors made of wood, set into a dark grey brick wall. I cannot tell if the building is a castle or just another gate. I try to push the doors open but they will not budge. There is an impression where the doors meet, just above the handles, of a butterfly. The butterfly item I have fits into one half of the impression, but the doors remains tightly shut and I know that I have to find the other half of my trinket to proceed.

Walking back to fountain I notice a faint glimmer in the water. It is so cold in the garden now that the water in the fountain is starting to turn to ice. I have to smash it with my fist and plunge my hand into the freezing water but it is completely worth it as I pull out the other half of my butterfly key. When I place the retreived half into the other impression on the door, there is a loud click of a lock opening. The two halfs of the key glow and float out of the impression towards me and right into my hands. The item is now a completely fused together and I cannot seperate the two halves even when I try.

I push open the large wooded doors and walk into what appears to be a large theater or opera hall. There are rows and rows of cushions seats and a stage draped with velvet red curtains. The only light comes from small flickering candles that run the length of the aisles. Unlike the garden, this theater is warm and comfortable. There is a gap between the stage and the seats where a table upon which a small, black, metal chest sits.

The box has a butterfly impression on the front and when I place the key in, the lid on the chest opens by itself. There is nothing inside but images and colours appear on the stage and memories and feelings of mine, some vague and some farmiliar, play out on the stage like a psychedelic, holographic light show. I cannot remember any specific details of what I saw but it was extremely ethereal and wonderful and I was completely entranced and lost in the experience.

When the lights and feelings fade I find myself sitting in one of the front row seats, leaning forward on the table and hugging the small metal chest tightly. I do not want to move because I feel that what just happen will never happen again. I take the butterfly key in my hands and gaze at it intently, gently tracing my fingers around its contours like it is some fragile and vital part of my soul.


This dream is my absolute favourite dream that I have ever had up to this point in my life.

Morning of December 31, 1995. Sunday.



My dream’s plot relates to an old widow (who is seen as stingy and nasty overall, and who had a son whom supposedly vanished) who rents a large house to about four different families as well as a couple single men, all who are apparently mostly without many resources or money. Two of the families seem to share one larger room. The house is old and has roach infestation and very old variegated carpeting (reds, blues, greens); in some locations, only older very narrow strips nailed to the floor, not much wider than the nails. At one point, the old lady speaks of having new carpeting put in. I seem to go in and out of my dream as if I am a secondary character at times.

One male from one family gives me a calendar (I assume for 1996) but as we seemingly share the same large room at this point I tell him to just put it on the wall so that we all can benefit from it. During this time, I take a couple pictures from the wall to make room. I had put many pictures up on the worn wall to make it look better as others seemed interested.

There is one part where a housing inspector complains (relative to safety concerns) that there are hidden doors in the house and asks where they all are. One door is under an old section of carpet. The door is lifted and leads to a collection of old cards and letters from the 1940s (1943 is noted a few times). This causes the old woman to cry as she apparently rediscovers and relives “lost” memories. Another door is discovered and examined. A monster-like face scares one person away. Eventually, a strange green hand emerges and scares more people.

At one point, a boy explores a lower part of the house that is usually hidden. Somehow, he accidentally causes a fire around barrels filled with oil or possibly gasoline. The fire is put out by the flapping of very large wings. The wings are of a creature that frightens the boy even though he poses no threat and is possibly just lonely and looking for others like himself.

It is revealed that the old woman had a son that had not actually vanished but transformed into a “monster” that is basically a “butterfly-man”. She had kept him in the old house all that time in secret rooms. At one point, he seems to fly off towards the setting sun in a scene with mostly orange hues. However, this turns out to be an illusion as he cannot leave the house (yet).

There is a part where there is a costume party. A boy seems to see his sister (in a dog costume) vanish before his eyes but she later reappears without donning a costume, saying she had not worn the dog costume that she originally planned to. Thus, the prior scene turned out to be a trick played upon him by a friend. Of course, the butterfly-man can go to a costume party without being noticed that directly.

There is another part where a unfamiliar man (yet supposedly a known criminal) is writing spontaneously (possessed?) in a language he does not know. It resembles Lao script (which in itself makes me think of butterfly-like patterns) and there happens to be a few who can read it as he writes. It relates to some sort of “monster” or “spirit” being reborn into the world in vengeance.

There are then a lot of ambiguous scenarios relating to crimes including the man who was writing as well as the “butterfly-man-monster” who somehow actually did eventually leave the house. Someone else somehow makes him become fully human, but then he becomes a giant and destroys highways and bridges. There is even a chase scene involving boats. One boat at one point actually looks more like a pair of platforms to supposedly be a swimming aid of a sort (to develop “faster swimming”).

Even when the criminals are killed, they are still somehow able to pursue certain people.

I start to wake up from this long, convoluted dream before the full “story” is “transcribed”, supposedly to designate a purpose of some sort but mostly incoherent in afterthought. Most dreams are not really linear or story-like (in a cohesive sense) after all and should not be treated as such (depending on the context).

Morning of December 14, 1979. Friday.



I perceive myself as being someone else; an unknown male of about forty. I seem to be planning where soldiers will go by using a large map that covers a table, and I point out locations as other males stand around watching. The country that the war is against is unknown, but is possibly China (though it may also be somewhere in Africa, though that seems illogical in conscious afterthought).

Over time, it becomes obvious that I have made a mistake, in that a large yellow butterfly has landed on the map, by which I am then incorrectly designating features of the butterfly’s wings as being rivers, rivulets, and locations of possible villages. The people observing and listening to my instructions do not seem that concerned or amused, but I notice a few walking away.

The butterfly has landed so that its head is over a delta and its superimposition also creates the illusion that its bottom half is over the ocean or other body of water. At one point, I am trying to work out where the perimeter of the butterfly ends and the map details begin.

When I look up, many people have gone to a different table, where at least three unfamiliar males, possibly astronauts in blue coveralls, are looking at a larger map on a table, one male pointing at it with a pointing stick. (This scene was directly influenced by a View-Master “Project Apollo” frame, which I gazed at many times as a boy.)

I am somewhat puzzled. The butterfly has made my presentation problematic but now I am vaguely unsure if the meeting was about going to war, or returning to Earth. Somehow, “returning to Earth” does not seem quite right as it would entail that we are not on Earth presently (though this is not certain either).

Explanation:

Over twenty percent of my dreams since early childhood have rendered return-to-consciousness symbolism as related to flight, though always unique, with positive, negative, or neutral imagery which often seems unrelated to waking life (though is sometimes validated as prescience). This is obviously based on subliminally anticipated hypnopompic effects, mainly including the feeling of falling (which is spontaneous and biological, without the pretense of “interpretation”).

The concept of war in this case is related to the “struggle” of the fictional dream self, the transient identity and neural patterns changing via the dynamics of emergent consciousness and beginning wakefulness, which is sometimes represented by the color yellow (though red when I have been sleeping too long). It is also seen as a “journey”. In this case, it is even more obvious by the questioning of whether we are on Earth. Technically, we are not, as it is the dream state and I am not walking around on the real Earth.

There are some curious layers here including “delta” as an association with sleep as well as ocean waves, a play on “delta waves” (relating to deeper sleep rather than REM). It is also associated with the song “Delta Dawn” (sunrise). Water is my most common association with being in the dream state (and its sound has been used in virtually endless commercial relaxation recordings to bring about sleep). The butterfly creates an illusion of “returning to land”, which is akin to returning to the real world from the dream state (as thousands of my dreams have been proven to contain this same type of waking symbolism, though always unique).

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