dream fragment

Well.

In waking life, I generally have neat handwriting. However, when writing in my dream journal in the middle of the night, I write messily. This time, it was largely illegible. I really need to fix that.

Slept about 7.5 hours last night.

Dream 1:

During my hypnagogic imagery (so WILD I believe), I very quickly became lucid! I was standing in a green field. The dream was a bit hazy, and I forgot to demand clarity. I remembered my first goal for the three-step thingy, to use technology. I figured I'd use an iPad, and made one appear in my hands. For some reason, my hazy brain decided to use Numbers, and a spreadsheet appeared. Then I figured that that was pretty boring, and tried to boot up a racing game. I was able to play it for a few seconds, and then the dream faded and I woke up.

I wrote down some non-lucid dream fragments, but they were so messy that I can't read them. :/ Due to a lack of recall, I will only count the 2 that I can actually read:

Dream (Fragment) 2:
I saw the Dark Mark, or something similar, on a piece of paper. I don't remember anything else.

Dream (Fragment) 3:
My family had gotten cast out of...civilization? Our hometown? Can't remember, but I think it was out of some sort of fictional civilization that we had been living in. We were placed out into the bitter cold. And someone got bitten by something.

I am at an academy near the water. I am there at the academy with a partner. He resembles a friend of mine, Jeff Rygwelski, from my old college days in Boston some 26 years ago . We practice fighting together. It appears we are at a martial arts academy. At one point we are fighting near the water, on the piers. I recall that during the fighting we actually become very angry with each other and are no longer "practicing" -- we are now fighting for real. I kick my partner very hard and he sails through the air and falls into the water between two slats of wood on the docks. He must have drowned, I assume, when he doesn't resurface. I continue to wait for him to come up out of the water.

I give up waiting and decide to return to the academy. On the way back, he reappears. I see him before he has a chance to see me. I quickly duck behind a wall and try to slip out an exit door...but outside in the courtyard we bump into each other, face-to-face. He blocks the entrance to a building where I need to go. I think to myself, "I can jump on the roof and enter through that big crack in the wall," but do not. I do not want to fight him anymore. The dream recall dissipates at this point. Dreamt 12/30/2016

I did a WBTB, went to the toilet, drank water downstairs, contemplated if that was a dream or not for a long time, then went again to bed. (My WBTBs duration are generally aprox between 10 and 15 mins.)
When I was falling asleep, a mosquito woke me up. I covered myself with the blanket and started performing an SSILD.

(FA) I'm sitting on my bed, there's no desk in my room, that's weird. Right, this is a dream. I instantly wake up.

I immediatly perform a DEILD.

Now I'm laying on my bed, over the blanket. Got it, I'm in the dream again. I wake up.

DEILD again...

I'm sitting on my bed again. I try to stand up, I wake up.

Try to chain again, but don't remember anything more.

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(Fragment 1)
I'm stuck inside something like a tube with my GF and my two nieces.

(Fragment 2)
I'm in a room with an asian guy, he looks like my DG. On a crystal desk he has a Nintendo 3DS connected to a DJ mixer and a keyboard.

I dreamed that i was back in my old boarding school again. We were having some kind of feast.

01/11/2017
Dream Fragment One
Untitled
The only thing I remember are some vague images of sex, and then my landlord coming by and giving me shit about something or other. I just did what I could to avoid him, while he was hanging around.


Dream Two
"Cancelling the Apocalypse"
(Lucid)

I was with two other guys, and we were being stalked by the Marvel supervillain, Apocalypse. We were in some tall, unfinished building, surrounded by a cage of unfinished walls and concrete pillars. Apocalypse had this very Jason Voorhees type of way of following us, slowly and almost casually, before just "appearing" nearby, to try and attack us. (I had been watching beta gameplay from the new Friday the 13th game, not long before bed, which I believe inspired the way he gave chase in the dream.)

On about the 3rd floor of this hollow building structure, Apocalypse appeared and snatched up of the guys in our party, disappearing with him and reappearing somewhere down on the first floor. We could see him through the many openings in the incomplete floors beneath us, holding our ally up by the throat, with his back against one of the support columns. I can't remember exactly what he did to our guy, but I remember it being very vicious and gory, as if he just ripped him apart, with his bare hands, in a shower of blood. Knowing it was too late to do anything about it, we started running again, and before I had a chance to even know where I was going, Apocalypse was back on the third(ish) floor with us, stepping out from behind a corner just as I passed by, and coming straight for me. Having no time to think of a safe escape, and after having seen what he just did to the other guy, I immediately lept from the ledge that I was approaching, still about 3 storeys up - basically resigning to the fact that I was Not going to enjoy the landing.

In a panic, while careening toward the ground below me and preparing for the inevitable onslaught of pain and possible broken bones that awaited, I instinctively realized that this couldn't really be about to happen. This had to be a dream!! Without a moment to second-guess it, I pushed my feet straight down and braced for impact, relieved when I stuck the landing in an almost effortless crouch. I knew that Apocalypse would soon follow behind me, though, so I instinctively lunged backward, throwing my right elbow back and cracking him in the face with it, when he predictably showed up behind me. (Not sure if he was always going to be there, or if my anticipating him being behind me caused him to just 'be there'.)

I didn't stop there, though, immediately turning around and rushing him with a barrage of punching combinations to the head and gut, confidently and aggressively driving him back with each solid hit. While in mid-attack, I wondered if I should not get too carried away and try stabilizing the dream before it ended or I lost my lucidity, but I was fired up and didn't want to stop hitting him. It was only a matter of seconds, though, before the dream fell apart and I woke up.

A dream like this came as no surprise given my circumstances the previous evening. I dreamt that my good friend picked me up from a Campus Christian Fellowship event, which actually did happen the night before. Only in the dream, there occurred a disturbing turn of events. He exited his car and entered into the facility in which the occasion was being held. I had already left the building, but after he had been in there for a little while, I noticed several members of the fellowship program leaving with very sad and offended expressions. In my mind, I felt that he had spoken harsh and offensive words to them and greatly disturbed these people. I, in turn, was quite upset, and we proceeded to have a fairly significant argument over the matter. He did not drive me home, and I was stranded into the night.
Now, some things about this made sense, and other things did not. My friend does not consider himself a Christian, but he is not very critical of those who do profess to be, and he would certainly not intentionally carry out offensive and hurtful actions to strangers in the community, but this was the case in my dream. I was disturbed by this dream upon awakening, and I wondered what this was trying to tell me, if anything.
I cannot remember the circumstances surrounding this next dream, but I remember the feeling of it, and one image in particular. I’m staring at a face that bears a striking resemblance to that of my former lover. In the dream, I am experiencing the exact emotions I had when I was with her. It’s weird that I cannot recall these exact emotions now IRL, but in the dream, they were very real. It’s as if I can only recall my true emotions of the past in my dreams. The reasons behind this dream I could point to fairly easily. I introduced my friend (The same friend in the first dream) to the show Twin Peaks last night. We watched the pilot episode last night, and needless to say, he’s hooked. But there was an odd moment when we realized he looks quite a bit like the show’s unfortunate victim, Laura Palmer, to the point that it actually freaked us out a little. I have no doubt this instance is what influenced my dream, but I cannot explain how I was able to relive the exact emotional state in the dream as when I was with her.

Vague and poorly remembered dreams overall, linked by a pervasive feeling of threat, but in the end I came to an insightful realization.

In one scene, the garage door was open, and I was with at least one other DC pointing a gun at some cats milling around just outside. I love cats, but I suspected that these might be evil spirits in disguise.

In another scene, I saw a collection of malevolent dolls outside the front door of a house at night. Their malevolence was limited by the fact that most of them had no arms, except for one shaped like an octopus, which had its full complement of tentacles. That one was almost cute, though. Another doll was especially wicked but consisted of only a head, and I watched as a dog came up and carried it off. "It's just as well," I commented to someone standing nearby. "He was already almost dead."

In the final and most notable scene, I was holding a door shut against some evil force that was trying to push it open. I was exerting as much strength as I could, hoping to lock the door to better secure it, but I couldn't get it closed tightly enough to fasten the latch. I felt the door beginning to open wider, despite all my efforts, and my anxiety increased... until I suddenly realized that I was making a category error.

If this was my world, a physical threat, then yes, I would need to try to hold the door with physical force. But I recognized that this was not my world, and in this world, my attempts to push the door closed only gave more power to the threat. To avoid the threat I needed to deny it my strength by denying it my attention, just like in dreams. I did not actually recognize that I was dreaming, only that this was an analogous situation.

There was a woman standing next to me, so I expressed my thoughts to her and distracted myself by caressing her face and shoulders. The sensuality quickly dissipated the anxiety I had felt about the door, and it ceased to be a threat even though I was no longer holding it closed.

I was inspired by my realization, and inquired the woman's perspective on it. "So it works because we are aliens here?" I asked her. She replied that some groups held this point of view, but others disagreed, so that my standing in relation to this world remained controversial.

1/11/2017

Not a very vivid dream, but I have not been able to remember dreams for the past two days, so I will take it. One is a bit odd, well, let's say that they are all odd a little...

I did try and WILD after waking up from my dream below. Well, I originally wanted to WBTB and try and just roll back over and go back into the previous dream, but I needed to use the bathroom and I was a bit confused on how to go about it, so I decided that I would use that oppourtunity to try and WILD which was unsuccessful. I was thinking too much about my day and I was a bit too hungry, and when I would try and focus on my dream, my hunger would really grow.

I was in my high school, with people from my high school. We are working on a portrait of some sorts. We are not really working on it in the dream, but in the dream I am thinking about the portrait. I am thinking about it drying and that's it. And I am thinking about how it's drying and visualising how it's drying. Like what parts are dry or not. I hear one of my friends talking about us being together again (as a class) and he his happy. Then we are going to start on another portrait. I look at the whiteboard in the classroom and there's a date that say December something, (I remembered right after I woke up, but now that I am writing it down, I cannot remember the exact date anymore) I think about my teacher and wonder where he is. It ends.

I am this odd room with odd people. I do not like them and I am being very racist towards them and my dad is behind me and when I was being racist, he would pull me back and basically tell me to stop it. I was sort of worried that they might hurt me if I am too racist towards them, but nothing happens really and I think they laugh and whatnot. It ends.

No LD's tonight.

I dreamed that I was talking to some people about a really small swimming pool. Then we were there and I swam for a bit.

My dream transitioned to me being online in some kind of IRC client. My boyfriend got mad at my internet friend who is apparently the LPer Black Blues Player and I tried to smooth things out but it didn't work. It's strange, because in reality our roles would likely be reversed.

I then recall watching JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders, except this time, JoJo becomes a vampire and kills DIO.

I also recall being back at my house, and we apparently have a river behind our house, with a part of our house opening to the river and there is a stray dog sleeping there.

I couldn't remember much of my dream last night, except that it involved me playing a videogame that seemed like Stardew Valley but as an action RPG, and naming a horse in that game with some long name.

I later went back in time to look around America.

Another crappy recall night. I wasn't feeling well, so I went to sleep at 9PM and woke at midnight lol. Then I crashed again 6:43AM and woke at noon... but it was too cold to get out of bed so I slept for another hour.
Then I talked to hubby and lost the dreams I had managed to hold on to.
Except one. I dreamed I had a baby girl but I forgot about her for 4 days and she was in the car. I was terrified that she was dead, but when I opened the door, she had the sleepiest, sweetest, happiest smile.
My ex-hubby was the father and I was living with my grams. That's it.

I know I also dreamed of food and clones (thanks to binging Orphan Black) and cats, but I've lost the specifics.

Fitbit info: 6:43AM- 12:01PM (it never gets my wake up right). 5 times restless for total of 1hour 16 minutes. Sleep equivalence of 4 hours 2 minutes.
I kept waking in pain. My shoulder was subluxing as was a hip. My nose stopped up every time I laid down. Perhaps it's time to start considering a real bed. I started sleeping on a desk because it was the only thing that kept my back from hurting. Now my back is starting to hurt all the time but so is everything else lol

It is a very cold day in Texas. I am at a park, hiking with a group of people. We run into my old pastor who is diving into a crystal-clear lake to retrieve a ball. When he comes out of the lake with the ball he tells us what we already know: the water is freezing. I then translocate to my office, where I'm being accused of doing cocaine by some woman who is interviewing me. I admit to doing other things in the office during the interrogation, but never coke. The woman keeps asking me different questions, but I am still waiting for the specific question about the coke. When it doesn't come, I storm out of the office. As I walk outside, I see two buildings separated by a walkway. A man bumps into me on the walkway and asks where a certain office is located in the plaza. He is late for an appointment, but I cannot help him for I myself am lost and confused (the outside of my office building looks nothing like this in WL). And all I can tell him is, "I don't know, sir. It's a crap shoot." I know I need to record this occurrence, but I can't seem to find my DJ (a missed dream sign). Fade out

I am now with my childhood neighbor, Meghan and her deceased brother, Rob. Rob is sitting on a sofa and petting a little dog who keeps pestering him. Rob's face is grotesquely disfigured with advanced stages of decomposition. I miss this obvious dream sign and translocate to another scenario where I am suddenly in an old truck -- a 1983 Ford or Chevy model. The truck belongs to Eric, my business partner. I am in an underground parking lot trying to back out of a space. I am blocked in and stuck (another missed dream sign). Up ahead, a black man is also trying to back out of a space but he is partially blocked in by a large motionless bus. He reaches out the window and pushes the bus. The bus topples over and a big fight ensues. People start climbing out of the bus and angry motorists start getting out of their cars. Some of them have knives, others have huge fork-like weapons. People yell and scream as they stab each other in the head and neck. I see massive amounts of blood spurting into the air and flowing on the ground as I sit and watch from inside my truck. Fade out

Now I am at Eric's house, and he is offended with me because I stormed out of the office earlier (see first fragment). He feels I've betrayed him. His mother is there, and she is grabbing me and trying to pull me close to her. I am trying to write something while she does this. She is not wearing panties and I can see and smell her hairy, unclean genitalia. I look at Eric and notice his hair is different; it is short and neat, as though he just walked out of a barbershop. His mother is still clutching me. I am wearing only a tee shirt and boxers (yet another missed dream sign) and I am embarrassed that his mother and I are acting like this. I turn to Eric and give him a sheepish look, as if to say, "I am sorry she is grabbing me like this. It's not my fault." He turns to his mother and barks, "Dee! Stop it!" (Dee is not her name in WL), and she immediately stops. He gives her a stern look and then turns back to me. He asks me what I'm doing, and I tell him I'm very busy writing something. I show him the notepad, but notice with alarm that it's just a blank page. Again, I sense embarrassment. Eric gets distracted, and suddenly his mother is back on me again, this time with her genitalia cleanly shaven and freshly-scented. Eric's dad appears (her ex-husband) and he saves me from her by calling, "Dee!" He is wearing a neatly-pressed suit and tie. She goes to him, and I notice she is wearing jeans now. He puts her over his lap and begins spanking her. As he spanks her, I can't help but notice how well her jeans fit. I decide she is not as overweight as I once thought she was. Dreamt 12/19/2016

I decided not to try the task again because I was supposed to wake up at 10AM to take my daughter-in-law to the Dr. I slept through the alarm and didn't get up until 1Pm
I slept rough again. According to my Fitbit, I started sleeping at 3:20AM (that's when I told it I was going to sleep). I was "restless" 10 times for a total of 2 hours and 29 minutes. I only got the equivalence of 7hours and 11 minutes worth of sleep. Which is better than the last couple days of 3 and 4 and a half hours.

ANYHOW.... I only recall snippets of dreams: clones, zombies, base building, fighting with my kids about something. Dreams come back to me at weird times, so if I get anything more later today, I'll add it.

I recall having a few dreams, but I can't quite recall what I dreamt about. In one fragment I was kissing someone and that person said that I'm great at kissing. In other fragment I was at a shooting range, holding some kind of improved pistol. There was a faceless Lovecraftian abomination behind me, I had to shoot to extremely small targets enough times or the beast would devour me.

Escaped from my IRL home onto my IRL street and went lucid when I crossed that boundary line. Started flying, admired some views of Christmas lights, getting less and less realistic as I went on, culminating in a castle with turrets completely covered in white lights.

Memory gap, crossed a lake by a natural rock bridge and entered a cavern on the other side, memory gap again, and then I'm semi-lucid again in a room with three sleeping people I recognize, including Julia. I try to leave without disturbing any of them, fail in this. Mary Jane wakes up, the closest to the exit, and we speak for a while; although we seem to know each other, I'm aware that Mary Jane is wholly imaginary, and that's the point of her in this scene, that she's imaginary. Julia is in the bed across from hers, and eventually wakes up - that's what I wanted to avoid most. I can feel the sensation of pressure from her hand, which stands out - it's the first time I've used that sense in tonight's dreams. Her face has started to resemble Mary Jane's, which is sad but not a surprise; but I think "her name is still her own," which is a surprise and a relief. (This whole scene is about mental associations.)