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    Fragment of Dreams

    1. cccxxxviii. Games, Pressured by others, Decision made without consulting me

      by , 10-31-2021 at 02:39 AM
      4th October 2021

      Scraps:

      (a long dream, but poor recall)

      Some RTS segment and I recall beaches and water.

      One part a bit Minecraft-like or some other game. T is here and someone else is with me? Some kind of tower, or otherwise large structure.

      One of the last parts of the dream, I am my alter-ego and there are interactions with me as such. The other people are dream-generated. They seem to be pressuring me, or something? Despite my form, I feel slightly shorter than others.

      Some other dream? H has convinced mom and dad to bring S over here. I think H goes to pick them up and I remember seeing them all at one point. I feel concerned about S because of all the usual reasons regarding costs and also because of the long trip.

      Notes:


      - The last part was certainly a reflection of how I sometimes don't feel listened to or validated on, regarding both matters of money and of companionship. In the segment, some beliefs I hold as very important are partly betrayed by my closest, besides the fact I feel it may be detrimental to both S's health and to my financial situation.

      - That same segment probably also relates to how I have often been very easily upset by changes to what a situation is and changes to what it would be or would have been.

      - More recently it has been more frequent for me to take on my alternate form in my non-lucid dreams. In this case, the context likely relates to my art and some perception that the expectations of others are above my own. My stature is clearly metaphorical in regards to my feelings in terms of recognition, but this dream element also relates directly to some of my choice themes and how I've often felt physically inadequate in some specific areas (primarily to my own expectations) when compared to others.
      -- I do not recall what exactly the other people were pressuring me about, but in terms of my waking life contexts, art is the most directly relevant context here.
    2. cccxxxvii. Glaring sunset at the desk, WoW self-mailing, With an away team

      by , 10-31-2021 at 02:27 AM
      1st October 2021

      Fragment:

      I am in T's room. We're sitting together at his desk, which is facing the window. The curtains are open and it's a sunset outside. The sun keeps glaring in my face and I struggle with the brightness. At the same time, I can't get comfortable at the desk. I have a square monitor and my arms and wrists hurt with the way they rest on the desk, partly because my chair is too short. T says to do something about it then, and I get some pillows to stack on the seat.

      In the middle of all this struggling, I end up at first missing the fact that the sunset is now over and the light is on now, but the curtains are still open.

      (recall gap, the following are scraps from the same dream)

      In WoW, I am mailing an item to myself. Some kind of developer marriage is interrupted by fans.

      I am then in a Star Trek universe and am with an away team. End up in a room back on the ship where I try to use a replicator but I end up pooping myself in the room's bathroom or something.



      Notes:


      - The Star Trek locale was very reminiscent to the sets and layouts of Voyager, which I've recently been watching.
      -- In that part of the dream, I remember feeling confused at several points and many things were going against me, in terms of events playing out. I think I may have been confined to some quarters. The replicator I tried using didn't function properly, at least for anything I wanted, but I can't recall what that mighthave been anymore.

      - In the WoW segment, I was mailing an item to the same character I was playing and not an alt, something that's never been possible.
      -- I have a faint recollection of the locale being some altered version of Stormwind.

      - During the initial segment of the dream, I am struggling with issues that typically T would be more likely to struggle with, at least in regards to his room and layout. I would not have so much of an issue with the sun and would probably be appreciating it, in waking life. In a way, this dream moment is a window into my perception of his experience, on some level.

      - The experience of struggling against the glaring sunset reminds me now very strikingly of the time I was walking back home with mom, at a time of a sunset but during which I hit my head on something metal and started bleeding, all of which was caused by struggling against a glaring sunset directly ahead.
    3. Lucid

      by , 10-18-2021 at 10:27 PM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Crazy

      Was on a dirt road outside some restaurant. Went inside there was a group there. They were being really noisy. Some strange bald Native American girl started attacking me for no reason. Her head was shaped like the people in "Coneheads." The group pulled her off me and they all left the building. I went outside angry and everyone from the group was in a large green bus. They talked to me for a bit and then pulled out of the driveway.
      I saw someone at the other side of a pond watching me. He seemed familiar like someone I work with and I called to him. His face distorted and i became lucid. I kept telling him I knew him and that this was a dream. eventually he walked away and the dream ended.

      I don't know Why I waste so many lucids on telling people that it is a dream...

      Wrong

      I was in some living room when a young girl came up to me and said I could touch her. I was like, "wait. How old are you? Can I see some ID?" or something she answered twice both times giving a different age. Both were underage answers and I felt like this was a bad situation That I should just leave. I remember getting up to leave and that's where the dream ends.

      Jamie?

      A dream with Jamie in it. She seemed a lot taller than I remember, and she wasn't talking to me or happy with me? not sure.
    4. cccxxxv. Gruul's lair raid with NPCs, Space stuff

      by , 10-13-2021 at 05:33 PM
      24th September 2021

      Left recall too late.

      Fragment:

      I'm in Gruul's lair, it's mostly like in WoW but something seems more realistic in detail, characters maybe? Me and a raid group kill Gruul rather quickly. It's a 25 man group but oddly most of the characters aren't actual players? I remember talking to someone too.



      26th September 2021

      There were other dreams but recall was again left too late I think?

      Fragment:

      One bit where I'm in space with an Avorion spaceship. I approach one of those concentric asteroid ring formations. Something later about dad talking to me about a mission or a bet which is worth sixty eight million. I am dismissive.



      Notes:

      - Maybe the realistic character details come from recently playing Conan Exiles.

      - It may have been that I was speaking to L in the Gruul's lair dream but I cannot recall. There seemed to be some kind of backwards logic to the raid progression.

      - I haven't actually been playing much in the way of space games.
    5. cccxxxii. Wrong street and wrong house, Family dispute, Rushed at a supermarket

      by , 10-12-2021 at 08:22 PM
      13th September 2021

      Recall mostly gone, left initial writing for too long.

      Fragment:

      I'm on our street but it's not like in waking life. It's a mix of streets from old London as in films and also of where H's mom lives. I just gout out of the car, maybe on my own. It's day time, but overcast? In the dream everything has a very real feel to it. As I'm dreaming, my memory feels fuzzy; "18, that's not the number of J's door, but this doesn't look like our street?" I think to myself.

      I'm not sure what conclusion I made but I eventually go to ring the doorbell and go in. J is here briefly, I think. The house looks nothing like any of our homes, it just seems dream generated. Something about a pit or elevator shaft. Some task or chore that needs doing, possibly related to it? While indoors, it seems like the outside gets brighter than it had been.



      20th September 2021

      Scraps:

      Getting into fights and arguments with my eldest sibling. As a dream character he blends with some stereotype/nasty dream character archetype. He's treating me like shit and has called me pathetic a great number of times over several days (false memory). I threaten him saying "I can change but you won't like it." I resist an urge to flip the dining table against him. Mom and dad defend me in their ways. Dad mentions something about if he'd had the dream/nightmare that I had... (my recall of this trailed off but there was an implied behaviour that he was being understanding)

      At some point I throw a wooden chair against the wall. (It breaks?) Night time, we're in the second floor of the old home, the kitchen is L shaped.

      Some other dream also involving old home themes, recall vague. I remember looking at some M/M stuff (on the computer?) and then some kind of disagreements?



      22nd September 2021

      Fragment:

      In a supermarket with H. Very realistic, completely dream generated setting. Lots of running (literal?) around, as it's closing soon. Night time, they dim the lights but too much, I feel. I hope that H will complain as I am running around. Then the lights are still dim, but more acceptably so.



      Notes:

      - Recall has actually not been too bad in general for the last few months, but I keep leaving recall too long or falling asleep again without enough awareness to either recall later or to set an intent to notice I was falling asleep.

      - In the second fragment, there's some sort of mirroring with the initial context and an incident when I was six or seven, at school.
    6. Log 2352 - Palm Dryad's Embrace and Other Assorted Stories

      by , 10-10-2021 at 07:32 AM (Dream Logs DWN-12)
      Created Friday 08 October 2021

      Got three LDs (well, maybe two-and-a-half) plus a dream to note. Quite a haul. Although I'm reluctant to do so, I'm gonna keep the entry practically in its completion No point keeping things bottled up forever...

      Spoiler for NSFW - Implicit naughty things:

      Updated 10-10-2021 at 08:11 AM by 89930

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , dream fragment , task of the year
    7. crazy

      by , 10-05-2021 at 07:06 AM (MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.)
      Victoria

      A dream about the other Victoria I used to work with... An old co worker came up to me in some office building hallway and told me that the other Victoria has just passed. I was really shocked. Note: I follow her as friends on fb. She hasn't been online for like 6 days. I'm not even gonna go there...

      Island

      Really crazy dream about a really small island on a lake. I was with some people. A woman with brown hair. Jamie or Asuka, couldn't tell. And maybe two others. The dream island manifested Giant animal spirits of people. Talking like King kong Giant. One guy stepped on and there was a large ape like king kong. Someone else manifested a giant lizard. I stepped on and a giant green cobra came out of the ground. The brown haired woman stepped on and another giant cobra sprang from the ground... Only it had 3 heads!!! The island itself was like only 50 feet wide, so the animals keep trying to fight, but when one of us gets knocked from the island by the creature it vanishes, and when we go back on it, the monster comes back. So we keep getting knocked off the island and running back on. Lots of crazy fights going on.

      Data

      Was outside a house at night time. Apparently it was my house. I walked up and the porch light is on and Data walks out the front door. Data from Star Trek. His pale skin looks painted on. I can't believe it's him. He greets me like he knows me and I just can't believe it.

      I wake up and remember That in my inner world house. I do have a character named Data who lives there. Although in a decade this is the first time I actually have seen him as the character. Usually he's very vague in image, like a shadow. I sometimes think he has glasses on.
    8. cccxxxi. Raiding Nomad battleships, Several family encounters

      by , 10-05-2021 at 12:24 AM
      12th September 2021

      Fragment:

      (earliest dream) Mix of Avorion and Freelancer I think. I go to secret systems, where I attack and destroy (wandering?) Nomad battleships. In one system, there's a super battleship in a dry dock. No enemies at first but doesn't take long until they appear.

      Fragment:

      Stuff about mom and dad and family in general. At one point I'm in a version of the old home, an altered version of my bedroom. I have stuff all over a table or bed. Notebooks, papers, etc. Many of which have drawings of mine. I'm looking for something but it's not drawings. Then at one point mom comes in and starts to look too. Now I'm concerned she'll see some of the drawings. I sometimes take things off her so she can't look.

      (gap)

      Then mom and L are in the kitchen (upstairs). There's a context of breakfast but it's still pitch black outside. I feel really drowsy and disoriented and I feel like I may be naked but nobody comments on it, if I am. I stumble a bit, I think towards the pillar corners in the kitchen, where I feel the fridge is, despite having seen it near the entrance on the left, next to L.

      (gap)

      A relatively long segment where I'm with aunt B and we go around in her car and it has issues at one point. She knows some scruffy mechanics that are actually pretty good as it turns out. The job costs 100 and is done in fifteen minutes. During that time we went to a cafe nearby. Southern P feel and sunset?

      (gap)

      Talking to mom and dad about the previous bit. Then mom asks me if I've been getting the money dad sends me and I'm trying to say thank you, but they don't hear and interrupt me every time too. Then they comment on how I should say thank you and I say (frustrated) I would if I got a chance to speak. Then, we talk about T but I actually want to talk to H but can't remember his name for some reason (language gearing). But so then T appears anyway and he seems ok but mom and dad quickly have a go at him over something minor and he understandably gets upset. Then he goes off in a direction towards a campus or something and we walk off up a slight hilly bit, towards a town or something. (general feel of a mix of home town and L)

      Rest of recall gone but dream carried on for a bit.
    9. cccxxix. Shapeshifter friend

      by , 10-02-2021 at 02:04 AM
      8th September 2021

      Fragment:

      (from an earlier awakening, most detail lost)

      I'm with someone. It's a person of an alien species. He (?) is like a gel of energy that is contained within a humanoid shaped vessel. In the dream I eventually understand that this is purposefully metaphorical. He is very young and is more mature than most humans but has much to learn. His species gains the ability to take on other forms as they get older but for the most part for now he can only leave the humanoid shape and take an amorphous shape.

      We are friends and do things together, but I forget what. I think he sets up a physical MMO server thing of some kind and other people start joining our realm (BL intrusion?). Eventually, he finds another person of his species and I'm happy for him since he can share his unique aspects with someone else.

      I remember he actually also had the ability to exit his humanoid vessel and go into other objects. At one point he goes into one of two giant screens and his friend does the same with the free screen. This was relevant for the MMO thing but I don't remember how.

      The setting seems to be mostly urban, semi-futuristic. At some point we're inside a great house or hall, it feels like an ancient library, with a techy feel.

      Notes:

      - The shapeshifting gel energy being is obviously an intrusion from ST: DS9, since I have been watching this recently. In the dream it felt novel, and at the time of first recall it still had some of that feel.
    10. cccxxvii. Inadequate driving instructor

      by , 10-02-2021 at 01:15 AM
      5th September 2021

      Fragment:

      (micro dream/daydream after having woken, slightly more aware than during regular dreaming but not lucid)

      Driving around in a learner car. Daytime, clear weather. I'm with a (white?) male driving instructor. Going around a countryside bit with some awareness of a river of sorts running alongside the curvy road I'm on, the view of the river is blocked by typical reeds. The driving instructor throws some litter out the window, looks like some kind of metal foil. I think this is so wasteful, so I make us stop off the road in the middle of a floodplain farm field, having cleared the more dangerous part of the road first.

      I get out and tell him to get out too (aggressively?) and I start heading for where the litter was thrown.

      Notes:

      - Though the instructor has a "teacher" role, he has bad habits and in fact ends up being the one who's bossed around by me.
      -- My attitude overall through the segment is one of confidence, not overly so, just enough to feel like I am doing the right things and not doubt myself too much.
      -- Notably I also wait to express my anger by first clearing any traffic and driving off a spot that's least dangerous despite doing so in a reckless/angry manner. This is some sign of self-control, something that I feel could be doing better, at the time of writing this entry now.

      - The dream location was very much like areas of my native home but with some mix of certain lakes near where I live now.
    11. cccxxvi. Deuterium auxiliary geneator

      by , 10-02-2021 at 01:08 AM
      4th September 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm with my family and my god mother's family. We're in some kind of hall, but it looks like a bigger version of my childhood bedroom, at least in layout. It also feels partly church-like. There's an on-going conversation about money, savings and debts. It's established that our family has less savings but also potentially much fewer debts to pay.

      Then some discussion just between me and my siblings. We head outside and it's sunny, low angle, maybe misty.

      (maybe earlier in the dream, disjointed) Some bit about needing the deuterium power cell to be replaced for the auxiliary power system of a flats building, maybe where aunt B lives. The deuterium radioisotope generators is in a small outbuilding that's fallen into disrepair, in the shadow of the apartment building. There's a presumably lead-lined window that gives a peek inside. There's a cyan-blue glow inside. I worry on some level about being exposed to radiation.

      (disjointed, part of a living dream memory of sorts) I'm at a place like a mall or the cinema in a mall, reminds me of the one near home. Black or very dark walls? Dark flooring. There's something about WoW. (the false memory feels like it's part of my teen years but being relived)

      Some other bit later on. A church place again? There's a coffin I think. Something about a corpse is important. I fight with someone, a frail-looking but kind of mad (insane) person?



      Notes:


      - Even almost twenty days after having first written this dream, my visual recall was notably better than I was expecting.

      - In the dream and on initial recall I didn't think of it, but the cyan-blue glow chamber with the radioisotope cell somehow now reminds me of that dream I had with the lizard and the blue energy core. Very similar glow. Additionally, this small chamber was notably much darker than it should have been.

      - Most of the dream involved warm colours apart from that glow.
    12. Fragment: a conspiracy and game level

      by , 09-16-2021 at 01:02 PM
      I dreamt about a multiple-perspective video game in which you controlled an anthropomorphic rat. The game had both top-down, first-person, and a 3rd person

      There was various levels, and a company conspiracy in the pet trade in which a wealthy family of rats owned both the Rats group (a bunch of corporations similar to virgin which all started with rats), and also secretly the Cats group, which was run shoddily in order to sabotage the reputation and wellbeing of the cats, there was a pet toy manufacturer who made dangerous toys as a way of harming them, as well as a barely functioning charity that was intentionally mired in bureaucracy.

      Interestingly enough, there was a unique level in the game called "The Red Forest", it was red/black monochrome, and highly pixelated compared to the rest of the game, sort of like Faith or Pylons. I vaguely remember some reference to me playing Yume Nikki at that point as well. The soundtrack for it was sort of similar to it's Hell level, but slower paced, higher pitched by about a semitone, and a slight tremelo effect on it, as if it was a spinning computer fan. It's color scheme was almost identical to this screenshot from Yume Nikki.



      Updated 09-16-2021 at 01:07 PM by 65287

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    13. running around in a camp

      by , 09-08-2021 at 08:43 AM
      running for fun with my ex-wife, looks like a children campground, got an electronic cigarette and found somewhere a toy snake with oil in it that made it move like real
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    14. green and clean

      by , 09-08-2021 at 08:37 AM
      I am near water spring, it's clean and general atmosphere is good, scenery looks like from another world, though it's just weird landscape and otherwise pretty normal greenery
      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    15. cccxxiv. The spaceship in darkness

      by , 09-07-2021 at 11:04 AM
      2nd September 2021

      Dream:

      Aboard a spaceship. It's dark in most hallways and rooms and there's a general eerie feel, like how I used to feel about the dark as a child. Some parts of the ship look like the Nostromo in a Weyland-Yutani style. There's discussion with some characters and we're talking about Vulcan. I seem to have future knowledge that it will be destroyed by an explosion but I keep it to myself. A guy is talking about his brother having gone to Vulcan as a trader.

      I see out a central window in a dark room and there's a planet with a green atmosphere, framed perfectly by the round window.

      I go away from the rest of the group on my own, I think just through into some other nearby rooms. There's a WY wall-mounted bulky junction thing, over a doorway (resembling corridors in the Pods). This thing has a flashing red light, possibly beeping too. I notice that the flash seems to slowly be gaining speed. This unsettles me, telling me something is wrong. In the dream I can't seem to remember what the thing is for and when I ask nobody else seems to know or care, being preoccupied with their own conversations or thoughts. Nobody takes this seriously. I feel there may be an alien (xeno) aboard.

      (recall gap)

      Then, I'm in the mess hall, which is nearby to where I was before. There are two or three dozen people here, all eating from bowls and stuff, but there are no tables or chairs. There are a few kids too. An adjoined kitchen has workshop-like tools, like buzz saws, table saws and the like. All of this just makes me feel uneasy and I imagine or fear accidents relating to these tools. One kid in the mess hall has a cyborg hand with a circular saw attached. He's cutting beef jerky with it, or some other kind of stringy meat.

      I am or become one of the kids at some point, possibly early teens? Everyone eventually leaves except for myself and a couple of other kids. This unsettles me, like something terrible is going to happen, still because of that eerie feeling about the darkness. The other two kids, a tall slim boy and a short fat boy, start picking on me and won't let me leave. We get into a slow struggle but I eventually break free. I forget the rest of this part.

      (recall gap)

      Somewhere outdoors-like and sunny, but I just walked there in the ship, it's just some section of it. Some other characters, I'm accompanying them I think. Despite the changed environment the eerie feeling remains in some places that are indoors here. I forget most of this segment but at the end I'm talking to a male doctor, a psychologist. We're sitting at a bench in an outdoor cloister bit with benches. There are other people around, passing by or whatever. We discuss some problems of mine (which specific to this dream-life) but I forget what is said exactly.



      Notes:

      - For quite some time I have been wondering if or when I'd ever dream about one of the Alien films. Oddly enough, after waking from this dream, I didn't remember this, despite realising there were some similarities between the dream environment and the setting of the first film.

      - I haven't known or felt that fear of darkness in a number of long years, it's a fear that I think I must have worked a bit to overcome but that also kind of just went away on its own.
      -- It's notable that I can't remember ever having felt this eerie feeling in a dream before, but it's possible I just don't remember any specific instance anymore.

      - I couldn't notice any outer details of the ship from the windows.
      -- The planet I saw was probably based off space games I've recently been playing. But the (vivid, tending toward yellows) green atmosphere is probably symbolic, as it's a colour I associate with death, envy and other sinister feelings or effects. This seems pertinent with the rest of the setting and mood.

      - The unwillingness of other characters to cooperate or listen probably relates to how characters are often portrayed in the sort of film like Alien, where you always seem to have stubborn or ignorant characters that make everything worse.

      - On some level, the ship having the self-contained outdoor-but-indoors environment is probably related to a story I've been working on for a while now.

      - Despite the feelings in the dream, this wasn't really a bad dream, especially since I've been waiting for something like it to come up.
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