dream fragment

I was with a group waiting at a bus stop after a movie or something. I was waiting while playing a game that had me going through a dungeon. Megan called me saying she was scared and needed help because some guy was calling her and masking his voice. I acted like I didn't care but I did and I thought of ways to help her. I didn't have my car so I couldn't go to her.

August 27, 2014

---

I really don't remember much from this one... I was in a carpool with some people, and we drove down some stairs.

Morning of August 31, 2014. Sunday.



This is one of those “whining” stressful dreams (usually from being overtired, it seems. The noise I make in the dream is vocalized in reality but not nearly as loudly. They are not really all that common for me. Mostly I am lying on my back in the bed in-dream. Somehow, an animal gets in through the window near the head of our bed and is near my wife and I on the bed. I get the impression that it is somehow part human and part dog at the same time, though eventually seems to be more dog-like and mostly on its side throughout. I keep pushing at it to keep it from causing strange sensations in my back and side (like the strange ticklish spasm I still get now and then). It is not fully nightmarish but rather stressful in a physical sense and in trying to vocalize more loudly (again, causing the “whining” in reality as I am sleeping). My wife brings me out of it for the most part, which is good.

I had a very short lucid last night. All I can remember of it is becoming lucid, doing a clarity technique and then exploring around the house I was in.

Dream - Lucid

I was at a school, an elementary school I believe. I went somewhere else to go get these pictures made. I got there, and the people who were taking pictures were a bunch of young brothers, and when I say young, I mean kids. They all had black bowl-cut hair and solid-colored sweaters. They were lined up from tallest to shortest. They were posing us (I believe more people were with me now, Dallas's sister being one) in these weird, cheesy poses. The way they talked seemed kind of shady. I think one that was talking had a weird accent. There was also something to do with these multi-colored pies; there was one that was bright yellow, which I assumed was lemon, and then there was a blue, a pink, and some other colored pies. I don't recall what they had to do with the photo shoot though.

Anyway, during the shoot, I had a vague feeling I may be getting ripped off, but it was too late now, I was already getting photos taken. They finished and left. I was talking to someone else afterwards, and they said I got ripped off.

~

I was living in an older-looking house with Dallas. The inside was quite dirty; the sinks in the bathroom were supposed to be white, but had this grime stuck to them making them look off-white. I was laying in bed with Dallas for the night when his mom came up to us with some cleaning supplies, and was yelling at me about something to do with the cleaning. She left the room, and there was some white, foamy cleaning stuff on the carpet that she had spilled. Ugh.

I then was scrubbing a small section of the sink with a rag in the bathroom, and noticed that the grime was coming off when I did so. At first, I had thought the grime was just discoloration from old age, but I could see the white that was underneath. I didn't scrub it all off however; I don't think I had time, or I just simply didn't want to finish it all up at one time. I thought about how the past tenants obviously didn't clean; I thought it was supposed to get cleaned.

Later, I said something to Dallas's mom about the white foamy cleaning stuff on the floor. I didn't want to further anger her as I told her this., so I told her a bit cautiously. I don't think she got mad. She did start cleaning it up.

~

I was looking at an envelope that had the name and address typed up instead of written. I saw my old roommate's name as the sender. Wow, why was she contacting me? Weird. I then thought about how I had heard that she had been married, and took another look at her name on the envelope. I saw that her last name was now "Garrison" (Idk what it really is IWL).

I then saw pictures of her. There was one with her and some roommates. She looked a bit different, a little longer face and she looked older, but quite happy. There was another one of her on the floor kneeling by a couch with some guy and then one guy that she dated and his roommate, whom I dated at one point. She was looking up at them eagerly. I wasn't sure what she was doing. I thought it was wild that her new husband was friends with her ex and my ex. I couldn't imagine how her ex could even stand to be around her anymore, but it looked like they were all friends. Maybe she had changed.

She had, for some reason, also given me a cellphone that looked like an old, beat-up Blackberry. I thought it was her phone. I then saw on the screen some words scrolled by. They said
"Jared's phone"
Jared was my ex (thought that is the wrong IWL spelling of his name), the friend of her ex from the photograph. Idk why she had given me his phone. I knew in the dream, but can't remember.

I was standing outside of an apartment complex during the daytime, looking into the distance. In the sky, I saw these flecks...hard to explain. It looked like the sky itself was a mirage or something. I thought I must be seeing things. The flecks then started to come closer to where I was. They were then close enough for me to notice that they were HUGE hailstones; they were the size of soccer balls. I saw them hitting the ground and shattering. God damn, these could kill a person. As they got closer, it was starting to snow a little around me, with a few giant hailstones raining down. I needed to find shelter. I went to the nearest apartment building.

I then was in an apartment. I looked out the window and saw huge lava waves slowly moving over the land. Well, this is the end of the world, isn't it?

I somehow, at this point, realized I was dreaming. I was in a stairwell, I believe. I then saw Dallas in front of me, and said, as always
"I'm dreaming!"
He smiled and seemed excited.
I sadly don't remember anything else about this lucidity.

~

I was super drunk in a house made of light-colored wood. It was the middle of the night. I was trying to cook things on the stove, one thing was mac and cheese. I was by myself. There was something about a kitten and how it squeezed itself under a door and got stuck in a room that no one was in and that no one would be back at for awhile. I thought about how I was going to spend the next day, my day off, hung over.

I became lucid at some point, and saw my best friend whom I consider a sister, Mk, there with me. She was sitting down with her head turned the other way. I wanted to interact with her, maybe ask her something deep and meaningful, but I couldn't think of anything. I got her attention anyway and said
"Mary Katherine!" She turned her head towards me and looked at me. I continued
"Tell me something meaningful!"
She then replied
"Heaven is real," she said with a straight face, and then continued with "I don't want to bullshit you by saying...." and continued on to talk about things she could have said instead or something. I don't remember anything else about it.

~

I was heading to my first crush, Nick's house with my friend Caitlin. The house was located on the other side of the street in a different place than it is IWL. IWL, we were friends with his younger sister, but no longer are. She was supposedly having a party that night, one that she had told Caitlin about years and years ago, the last time they spoke. It was evening. We were there outside the front door, being cautious. We "remembered" the night before being really drunk and going into their house (a nod to my last dream; I "remembered" the events as if it had happened the night before), which had appeared to be empty at the time. We were looking for Nick, or at least I was. We were going to make out (a nod to my teenage years), but I would be cheating on Dallas. But for some of the dream, I was thinking it was Nick's brother I was looking for, not Nick. I dunno, it was weird.

So anyway, we went into the front door of the house. We didn't see anyone at first. Nick's dad then came out of a room to the right, and looked very pissed. He told us to get out. We started to leave, walking down the concrete stairs of the front porch, and he was saying how he had been there the night before when we were drunk, and how he had been yelling from the room for us to get out, but we didn't listen. Damn. We didn't hear anyone at all.

Then, it was nighttime, and I was with Mk and my mom about to get on a school bus to go to the party. We were outside my old friend Courtney's house, which, in IWL, is right next door to Nick's house. The bus came and I got on. Mk and mom already seemed to be on. The bus was full of small children, probably about kindergarten-aged to first grade-aged. Mom and Mk were sitting towards the front middle of the bus on the right side. I sat down and told my mom or Mk that I didn't want to do this anymore, I didn't know it was all these kids, and that I was going to get someone to come pick me up from the location we got to. The reason was that I wanted to go make out with Nick; I was supposed to meet up with him.

All the sudden, the bus was back at Courtney's, and dropped us off. I don't remember if mom was with me, but Mk was. She went with me next door to Nick's. I saw a light on and heard drums; I knew it was him, because I "remembered" that he played drums. I was listening to him play, thinking about how he had been in band but quit.

We were then in his backyard. It was still nighttime. I was barefoot. He came out of the house from the back porch. I don't remember what we talked about. I was walking around the back yard with bare feet though, and he told me to watch out for dog poop. I then remembered that they had dogs. I saw a small dog there as well. I then "remembered" stepping in dog poop back there before with bare feet. I started to run back towards the concrete, feeling the soft ground sinking a bit beneath my feet. I hoped it was just dirt and not dog crap.

I was then walking with Nick in the back yard. I "remembered" us making out that night at some point, and how different it felt now that we were older. He then was yelling something to his dad, about how tonight he was taking a break from his girlfriend Gina (IWL I don't know his girlfriend's name, or if he even has one). He was cheating as well. I then was thinking about whether or not we had sex as we were walking back towards the porch, and I couldn't remember. I then "remembered" him having anal sex with a girl in his back yard. I saw it happening. It was graphic. I saw it close up.

I then was leaving with Mk, going back towards the road so my mom could take us home. I was telling her that I didn't think that his parents liked me. I then heard his mom behind us say
"I like you just fine!"
I turned around and saw her. She seemed happy

We were then in the car. I was sitting in the passenger's side seat. The car looked like Mk's mustang on the inside, but a bit different. I think my mom was driving. I was thinking about how I had just cheated on Dallas. I was wondering whether or not I should tell him. It was a huge moral dilemma in my mind. A song started to play on the radio. It was a female vocalist, singing something about the weekend.

Dream 1

I'm in my bedroom with Daryl at my old house. There's two girls laying in my bed. I recognize both. One is the female I hooked up with a CQ Night Club and other is Ash Browns Girlfriend.
I jump into bed with them and I feel a little unsure if they don't want me in the bed with them.

A dog begins running around the bedroom and I follow it around the room.

Dream 2

I'm at my high school and I walk towards a shed. I enter the shed and I see a bike that I take with me. The bike a custom built racer bike, its a odd design but I like it. I see that it has a Facebook logo on it.
I take it to where the community center in marinda park is, along the footpath near milk bar. I see my cats and they keep getting in the way of the bike. The cats eventually steal the bike and take it around the corner.
I walk around the corner but area doesn't look like what it usually looks like IRL. I get the bike back and begin to clear the footpath of things that are in the way. I see a dog bowl on the path.
I have to squeeze my way passed the cats , due to them being on the path. I begin talking to someone about the bike and telling them that it's vintage and would have cost a lot to do up.
I talk to my Dad and ask him why he did the bike up. He tells me it's a hobby of his.

Dream Fragments

1. Someone is talking about Marc Marquez. They mention that he's American.

2. Rita & Bruce are over at my house. Daryl is in his bedroom and yells out something to me. I yell back but he doesn't respond. I go to his room and find out what's up. I see that he's on dreamviews and is on my dream journal.
He mentions that its running slow, so I hop on PC to check and it's running fine.

Went to bed around 12:30

I only remember one dream. In this dream I was in the kitchen of a restaurant I used to work at. I was in the kitchen and I had to find one more menu before I could go home. So I started to look around the restaurant for the menu, and I was looking for a large square green menu, but I could only seem to find these blue rectangular menus. I walked to the front of the restaurant and there were two asian men I used to know, but they did not know each other in real life. One of them was laughing with a weird hair cut while walking out of the restaurant at the other as if they were both good friends. There were two guys playing around with each other one of them trying to hold on to the other ones hand as if they were playing around, this girl named Jessica I used to know was laughing while watching them, and it appeared to me in the dream she was trying to position herself to get my attention. I was keeping my head down, I didn't want to bring attention to the fact that I worked there, but I just kept walking. Jessica walked up further to another spot and continued to laugh at the two other guys while I kept walking, as if she kept on trying to get my attention. I just ignored her and kept walking, at that point I woke up.

Dream - Lucid

I remember nothing about my first dream, though I do know I had one.

~

I was working at the bakery, doing something with...well...baking. I "remembered" working as a decorator in training, and wondered why I was now on the baker's side. The sides were swapped from where they really are IWL. I also "remembered" seeing a girl I work with sometimes named Courtney C. taking orders on the phone; that was her sole job for the day, to stand by the phone and wait for calls.

I was then mad at Cherie' and someone else about some way they were treating cats, or some thing they watched about cats...I can't remember exactly what, but it had to do with cats. I was off by myself somewhere when David came up to me and was trying to get Cherie' and I to make up. He was working at the bakery. I believe we did make up, though reluctantly on my part.

Then, I was racing in this truck in a video game. I think it was supposed to be some Pokemon game. At any rate, I won and got a really good time. My father-in-law gave me a picture that was edited to look like I was a baby wrapped up in a blanket and he was holding me. My face was the same as it is now, though. He said something about it; he was proud of me, but I can't remember his exact words.

I then wanted to talk to Dallas, but I knew he had married Brandi, a lady I had worked with at Kohl's a while back, but they had divorced. Brandi was still in love with him. I saw them talking in a store. I wondered if he had remarried her, or if they were still divorced. I talked to Brandi at some point. I found out from someone, Brandi I think, that they were divorced again. I was relieved because I wanted to be with him.

At some point, I looked at the picture that my father-in-law gave me again, and it was reversed; he was the baby and I was holding him.

There was more to this one, but for some reason, I'm having trouble recalling much this morning.

On the 24/8 I posted this:

" I started from scratch again 19 days ago. I've logged 22 dreams of varying quality...9 of those in the last 4 days (41%)"

On 25/8 the various sections of my brain held an inter-departmental meeting to vote on a proposal by Ed that I "really need to be taught a lesson" Consequently, after 2 dreams on 25/8 I had no dream record for the next two days...bringing my percentage down. (I tried to calculate the % and my brain hurt so I gave up) Damn you brain departments!

Although it might be moon phases. I've read about the new moon disrupting dreams and I did a short survey last time but couldn't back up the claim.

On the "dreamless days in question (26/8 & 27/8) it was the last day of a new moon and the beginning of a waxing crescent. But I had reasonable dreams on 24/8 and 25/8 (beginning of new moon) so, if it does affect dreams there have to be other factors as well, which either increase or decrease the affect. Of course any truth would mean happy times during a full moon (next one is 9/9)

Anyway.
2 choline - blueberries - strawberries

28/8 Two weedy little dreams
6.15
A benefit office (DS) I'm sitting in an armchair, bored to tears, as the manager (who I knew but worked in an entirely different environment years before) withered on about benefits...not an exciting subject at the best of times. My wife (who was there...well it's a dream isn't it?) said did I know I still had my pyjamas on? I trundled off to rectify the situation.

8.30
In a caravan (again..why?) with some workmates (DS) I vaguely recognized and we were playing with toys (again...why?) to pass the time We were also sleeping sometimes (DS)

Still working at ADA and the other disciplines. Once more into the breach.

Dream - Lucid

I was dreaming of playing Tomodachi Life, and Dallas kept saying "Ooooooo" and I kept saying "What?????". He would never reply.

I woke up and he was snoring. I felt as if I had only been half asleep during this whole thing.

~

I had just had a baby, but the only thing I remember is I had been bottle-feeding it. I felt as if I should be breast-feeding it. I was in the piano room at the house I grew up in, and looked down at my breasts. I was wearing a solid-colored shirt, and my breasts looked swollen, but I wasn't lactating for some reason.

~

I was in marching band, marching a show. It was dusk. Not sure if it was a competition or a football game. I couldn't remember where I was supposed to go, so I tried to just follow the people around me. I knew it probably looked terrible to anyone who was watching.

Then, I was sitting at a computer in a house. I was in a chat room with some other people. Jake was one of them. He kept on posting pictures and videos of him and his new girlfriend. One of the videos was of them in the bathtub. I saw her boobs. I also saw him carrying a bottle of some kind of booze at some point. I saw by one of the pictures "Kristnnnnnn". At first, I thought it said "Kristaaaaa", and thought to myself he would date someone with the same name as me, but then saw that it was an N instead. She was actually a pretty girl. She had long, straight hair, big eyes, and was a tad bit chubby. In all the pics and videos, they looked happy. I was quite uncomfortable seeing all of this, especially since he's my ex. I wanted to tell him that I was uncomfortable with it, and that we needed to not talk anymore. I made a more private chat with both him and a few other people. I was trying to talk to just him.

At some point, I did get to talk to him, but I think it was in person. I talked to his new girlfriend, and said to her
"It's not you, I promise!" referring to the fact that I didn't want to talk to them anymore. She smiled and said she knew. She seemed quite understanding about it.

After speaking with them, I felt a sense of closure.

~

I was working at the bakery. I was packaging some things when I wandered off to the front of the store by self-checkout. I saw on a table there that there was some bread on sale, the brand that we usually buy, Arnold. It was a buy one get one sale. I was looking at the different types of bread and saw one that had a yellowish tint. It was potato bread. I had never tried it before, and wondered if Dallas would be ok with it too. I picked up a loaf and started to scan it, but then realized that I was still on the clock and I probably shouldn't be shopping on the clock. I abandoned my efforts and started to walk back to the bakery.

Before I got back, though, I went towards the bathroom, which was on the way; I really had to pee. I briefly heard Shannon, my manager, page me over the intercom, but I ignored it and kept going into the bathroom. I opened the door and noticed it was a men's and women's restroom. I walked by some stalls, and saw some toilets that still had pee in them. I wanted to find a clean one. I walked into one with a really big toilet. There was a brown tint to the drain in the bowl. Blech. But I needed to go. I then noticed that there were small brown cardboard scraps flying out of the air vent. That can't be healthy. They were landing in the toilet. So that's what was causing the brown tint. I then noticed another air vent on the wall of the stall above the toilet paper dispenser doing the same thing.

I left the stall and went further into the bathroom. Some women came into the restroom at some point. I saw a gross urinal-looking thing with some pee on or around it. At the very back of the restroom, there were showers. I assumed it was for employees who needed to shower. There was a line of showers heads and some stalls towards the back. The floor was tiled in a dark blue and some faded green color. I peeked around the corner, and saw that one of the showers in the stall was running. I turned away so I didn't see whoever was showering in there. For some reason, I believed it to be one of the old men who works there.

I then left the bathroom, preparing myself to face being yelled at for wandering off, when it dawned on me that it was ok, I was dreaming. Woot! I'm dreaming! I exclaimed to someone in a white uniform
"I'm dreaming!"
I then saw that it was my husband. He was smiling and seemed happy. My focus was then shifted to my mom, who was also there. She gave me a hug and was so happy for me. She said
"I'm so glad you can lucid dream so much! I wish I could eucid dream more!"
No, that isn't a typo. She really did say "eucid dream". I noticed that in the dream, but didn't say anything to correct her.

I then decided to fly. It had been awhile since I had. I took off and flew high in the air. I was flying down an aisle in the store. I started to float downwards, but used my thoughts to go back upwards, gently concentrating on floating up instead of trying too hard to do so. It worked like a dream . I then started to float down again, and was having trouble going back up. I felt this weird sensation when I thought about going back up, I assumed because I was trying too hard. It was like a buzzing sensation, one I've experienced in meditation before IWL. I was then on the ground on my stomach. I do believe I finally got back into the air.

I then woke up, and was working on packaging things in the bakery again. Shannon was putting things in the cooler. I saw some round bread that looked crusty, like the pizza dough we make looks if you freeze it for too long, on a rack. I was telling Shannon about lucid dreaming. She told me she had tried it, but she always felt this ringing in her ears. I thought I knew what she was talking about, and tried to relate with what happened with the buzzing in the lucid I had just had, but she said she had no idea what I was talking about.

At some point, I thought I was getting a hug from Shannon, and she was saying something about how she really likes me, but I then realized it was Dallas. I also went back to the front of the store and saw that someone had halved all the bread loaves that I had been looking at.

~

I was, yet again, working in the bakery. Some little black boy came up to the counter, and I asked him what he needed. He said he needed 50 "ham and cheese bites" on these small crunchy bread chips that we bake. I told him to wait while I asked if we could do that. I had a feeling that we couldn't, since we couldn't really price that. I asked Shannon if we could, but instead of bread chips, I said pita chips. She started to show me all these weird computer screens of blank, pale blue menus with a turkey leg-type cartoony outline in the background. It was like she was showing me that we had no way to ring up meat items, at least that's how I understood it. But she then started to talk about the pita chips and how we couldn't do it because of their shape. I then realized my error, and told her that I meant bread chips. Apparently, that changed everything, and we could do it. I went to tell the little boy. I told him it would be a few minutes. He had "2 minutes" written on a paper in marker that I noticed as I was telling him this. I hoped he didn't think it was only going to take 2 minutes. However, he seemed alright about it, though a little nervous and hesitant because his mom probably told him a time they needed it by.

I then walked in the back and heard a sizzling noise, and some weird music. I looked at one of the prep tables, and saw that some ham was cooking on two small hot plates.

I then was behind the counter again, and some little girl, a toddler, was wheeling a small stroller behind the counter. There was a boundary between where the counter and the floor ended and the employees only section started, and it was marked by navy blue tile. The girl was on the tile. I gently guided her and the stroller around behind the counter and back onto the sales floor.

I then was somewhere else, and realized I was dreaming again. I was outside on a sunny day by some small tower-type thing. I started to climb it. As I was climbing, I said to myself, out loud,
"I'm dreaming, so I can do whatever I want, see whoever I want, feel whatever I want..."
There were square steps made out of a metal grating. I felt them underneath my palms. God, they felt so real. I got to the top, and was trying to figure out what I wanted to do with what was left of the dream. I decided to try to summon Dreamer. As I made this decision, however, I noticed a white, oily-looking aura around my hand. I tried to examine my hands to stabalize, but it didn't seem to be doing much good. The vision in my right eye then went out. I started saying out loud,
"I want to see Dreamer! I know that the dream is ending, but still, if it works, I'd like to see her!"
I saw these rainbows that the reflections of the sunlight was making off of objects. I saw one in particular in a corner on the ground (yes, a corner outside). It was making some purple-type reflection. I thought for a brief second that maybe Dreamer was coming, but nothing happened. The dream was way too unstable at this point. I fought it for as long as I could, until finally, I succumbed to waking up.

Everything went black, and I felt this weird sensation in my body. I felt as if I was changing vibrations. I then woke up on the top bunk of a bunk bed. I climbed down the ladder and saw that my sheets were navy blue. There were two q-tips covered in ear wax stuck between the headboard and the mattress. Gross! I wondered how long those had been there. I knew they were Dallas's, since he cleans his ears out with q-tips all the time. I then noticed, in the corner of the room, a white 3-ringed binder with writing on it in purple marker. I made the connection with that and the dream I had just awoken from, thinking that my subconscious must have pulled that and put it in my dream.

I then heard what sounded like the coffee maker making coffee. Dallas doesn't drink coffee, so for some reason, I thought it must be Shannon making coffee.

I then woke up for real.

~

Here's an interesting side note, and I was wondering if anyone else (ladies) had noticed the same thing. I tend to be more likely to become lucid the week before I start my period. I've noticed this for a long time now. It is a week before my period starts, and I am having lucid dreams. It was like this last month too, when I had all those LDs. This has happened many, many times before, and I was curious if any other ladies have noticed that as well, or if I'm just the odd woman out.

Also, sorry CanisLucidus, I completely did not remember the lucid dare at all during these dreams.

I remember Quill on the computer, and he sounded like a girl. I was probably watching one of his videos.

27.08.2014

Random fragments (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I was going with some friends to a huge high end winery story and apparently, this place was in Europe, as they had a lot of European wines.

I started to give advice about a couple different bottles of wines that I used to sell in waking life in my first job at a winery.

Then something about planes.

I then was at home with my parents and it seems I did spend a lot of time in the toilet and they said that was because I ate a lot thay day (despite that I did just peed.)

NLD fragment, early: There was a band of Thai Buddhist monks in Bangkok called "Sacred Light." Contrary to what you'd expect, their music was surprisingly harsh and experimental. A musician from another band commented about one of the group, "His music has an edge of irrancidity." I woke up and for a few minutes I remained fully convinced that "irrancidity" was as much of a real word as "rancidity" (sort of like how you can legitimately say either "regardless" or "irregardless").

NLD: (I'll gloss over this since it was tedious and contains a lot of RL details. It was a basic anxiety dream: I was performing a task at my workplace and I was ill-prepared, everything was going wrong, and a senior colleague was observing the whole fiasco.)

Proto-lucid: After the anxiety dream I half-woke and was reminded of my speculations lately about the degree to which increased stress in waking life might actually be a condition actually favorable to lucidity. I slipped from these musings into a proto-lucid event—I don't want to call it a "lucid dream" per se because it felt too superficial and unformed. It started when I transitioned from my half-awake thoughts into walking past the house where I grew up. The back door was wide open, including the screen door, and this bothered me. Was the house abandoned? Or were the people who lived there now just careless? It was not a good idea to leave the door open like that because the nearby wetlands meant that the summer air was always thick with mosquitos and biting flies.

I stepped up to the threshold and called out, "Hello? Hello?" There was no response. The interior was decorated differently than I remembered, which I attributed to the fact that other people lived there now. I was reminded of the last episode of "The Leftovers" I watched Sunday night and figured that with the door wide open like that, even a large animal like a deer could wander inside. I decided not to go in—it didn't feel like "my" home anymore and I would be intruding on someone else's space, even if they weren't present. However, the wide open door still annoyed me, so I closed the inner screen door. Then I mostly closed the outer door as well. If the inhabitants came by and found their door unexpectedly closed it might startle them, but they should know better than to leave it open in the first place.

I continued walking around the side of the house and headed down toward the chicken house and barn. I was impatient to cover the distance so I started running, and I was reminded how good running felt when I was living here in my teens. Sometimes I would just run across the grass with sheer exhilaration and excess of energy. It's been a long time since I've felt like that—especially when running! When I got to the space between the two buildings I peeked into the chicken house, but it was empty so I went into the barn instead. I had noticed some people in the pasture so I crept quietly through the barn to the lower area where it connected with the pasture and peeked around the wall. Yes, there were definitely a couple people in the pasture, about a hundred yards away. I was pleased that the dream was finally starting to take some initiative and manifest something other than the basic environment. However, I didn't want those people to see me, since I still felt like an intruder now that they owned the place, so I remained hidden.

I went back inside the lower level of the barn and headed for the stairs that led upstairs. Meanwhile I reflected on how muddy and vague the environment still was, despite the fact that the dream had been otherwise stable so far. My senses were crap. I had experienced this in plenty of WILDs—which in hindsight this might have almost been, though since it had started in a non-standard location (my WILDS typically involve me "getting up" out of bed) I simply might not have recognized it as such. But at that time I still didn't want to give it credit for being a real dream at all, because I felt that it didn't quite measure up. Maybe I'm getting too critical; on reflection it looks more like a real dream than it felt at the time. But that's probably just a trick of print: the dreamstate was not really rising to the occasion, and I felt too much like I was "working the controls," as it were.

Anyway, I was contemplating the muddy, vague environment, which I felt was being shaped almost more through my conscious memory of the place than through the independent activity of the dream. Last night I had been reading a thread on DV about ADA, which included claims that greater awareness in waking life can also sharpen one's dream senses, and I couldn't help but acknowledge that my ordinary level of perceptiveness in waking life is probably much lower than most people's—because in effect I've spent most of my life practicing how to filter things out, not let them in. That said, my dream senses are usually reasonably sharp (with the exception of taste and smell) and my recall can be quite good, but I thought that perhaps the muddiness of the environment this time had been conditioned by that chain of thought.

I headed up the stairs to the upper level of the barn. I wandered around a bit more but don't recall encountering or thinking anything else of note before I woke up.

On waking, I realized that the circumstances were now all in order for a proper WILD attempt, but although I went through the ritual in a way that felt like it should have been successful, in the end I just fell into a period of regular sleep without even an NLD to show for it. This has actually happened several times over the last couple weeks, which is irritating given my satisfying successes earlier this month.

I tried last night to induce my lucid dreaming. I was listening to music and letting my body fade into the bed while focusing my mind on staying aware as my body slept. I remember seeing a stair way that was glowing white, it bent through black. There was nothing but this stair way. I then summoned myself to walk up it and I did. I then thought of the solar system and space and it appeared around me. All of a sudden a man in an ice cream truck workers uniform appeared much larger then me and stood in the space beside my stair case. He grabbed the railing and it morphed into a rattle snake tail.i woke up with a gasp and a smile, realizing I was dreaming but had been in control for at least a few seconds. I had just slipped my awareness from my conscious self to my unconscious dream state with out even realizing I had done so. It was AWESOME!!!

Dream - Lucid

I was watching something about the life and death of Bob Ross. I saw him doing his painting show. I think it was saying he died because of an addiction. I then was, for some reason, getting his death confused with my grandpa, and his confused with my dad (who is alive IWL). I felt very sad for the loss of my dad, thinking of how I just saw him. I felt confused though, as if it wasn't quite right.

Then, I was walking around a shopping mall with my mom when my old dealer called me up, telling me he had some "good cigarettes and some good stuff" for me if I wanted. He said he'd bring it by my house (the house I grew up in). I told him I'd be home in ten minutes. I hoped my mom didn't know I was talking to a dealer on the phone. Not long after that, he called me back to ask where I was. I asked him if he was still living in the same place. He said yes, but he was at my place. I said I'd be there soon. He had his friend over at the house bringing me the goods. He said he'd have to call him or something.

~

This whole dream was literally a video game. It looked as if it had pixelated Gameboy Color graphics. It started out with a boiling potion in a weird, square container. It was very foamy. I and someone else had to stop the potion from becoming fully effective because it would end the world or something like that. We put something in it to neutralize it. We spent the remainder of the game trying to keep the potion ingredients from the witch, who kept finding us. We were in a house for the last part of it, and she somehow got ahold of all the ingredients. The last two she added were broccoli and carrots. I knew we were doomed. Either we restarted the game from an earlier save, or we somehow neutralized the potion. We used powdered, green ginger to neutralize it.

This dream was longer, but I can't remember details, only the general gist of what happened.

~

Not sleeping so well again. Extremely tired but that doesn't seem to make any difference. I'm tired of being tired.