lucid

non dream - lucid - non lucid

I'm driving my RX-8 over a mountain pass in the alps.
I think I'm somewhere between Klosters and Davos.
I remember that it's an awesome road. I've never driven it myself, but I've been in my dad's car many times on on this road.
But why am I driving to Italy? Oh... that's right... I'm visiting my parents which are currently staying at an hotel in Tirol.
I keep driving for a bit, the road is empty, I'm the only one on it. The weather is fantastic, the sun is shining but it's not too hot.

Wait... I am driving my beloved sportscar on one of the most awesome roads in the world, it is empty and I am driving slowly???
I RC. I laugh because I became lucid this way, apparently driving slowly is really abnormal for me.
I look at the road ahead of me:



This puts a huge smile on my face. I look in my rear view mirror; no-one there.
I disengage the traction control, put it into second and floor the accelerator.
I love the sound of a rotary engine, the way it revs, how it gains power.
I'm passing 9000rpm and am reminded by a "beep" to change into 3rd.
I keep pushing it and quickly reach 4th, now going slightly downhill.
I can clearly feel the aggressive exhaust tone vibrating in my body, as I am pressed into the seat.

A corner approaches.
I go hard on the brakes, heel-toe downshifting back into second.
It feels easy, everything is obvious. I have perfect control over the car.
Every time I downshift, I hear a loud backfire due to excess fuel burning once it leaves the exhaust.
I love this car...

I keep driving down the mountain pass, staying right at the edge of what the car can do.
It occasionally over-steers, but this is quickly remedied by some counter steer.
The car is very stable, I feel absolutely safe.

I'm joined by a RX-7 FD which joins the road in front of me. He's racing as well.
I try to keep up with him and manage to do so mostly.
He's faster on the straight but I can keep up with him in the corners.
Flames shoot out of his exhaust every time he breaks for a corner, and I know my car does the same. Rotaries are awesome.
We both loose it a bit at one point, while driving over a rather hard to see bump, but quickly regain control after a long drift.

We approach a small town and slow down.
This was fun!


My rx-8 is currently at a workshop because the engine was flooded.
I got a call yesterday evening telling me that they fixed it and it's running fine again.
I can't wait to drive it again, even though I've just been without it for 2 days.

1/13/11

1- Failed Planning
I have gone to take the SAT, and for some strange reason Mitchell, my friend's ex-obsessionboyfriend, is with me. He is supposed to be taking the test, too, and my mother is going to pay the fee for him. However, his name does not seem to be on the list. "Can't you just print him off an answer document?" My mom asks the lady.

"Did you even sign up for this, or were you just planning to take it on a whim?" I ask Mitchell in annoyance.

"Sign up?"

I try to explain to my mother that he didn't sign up and that no, they CAN'T just print off an answer document because the College Board deals with that and they would need all of his information. She refuses to listen to me and keeps arguing. I glare at Mitchell, who still does not appear to know what's going on.

Later, he has somehow angered a mob of crazed tourists. I learn that there is some sort of zombie virus outbreak, and that he has tricked the tourists into giving them these tickets that are used to gain passage into a zombie free zone. I snatch the tickets away from him after I chase off the mob. "Why did you take all these in the first place?"

"I needed them for autographs!" Oh my god, what an idiot, I think in disgust.

"Autographs? What the hell are you talking about?" I notice that all of the tickets have the initials RL scrawled on the back of them.

((Also, it seemed like Samael was involved in the whole ordeal, but I can't remember how.))

2- Street Punks
I am riding the school bus, and for some reason my dad is sharing the seat with me and this other girl. She asks my dad why he's coming to school with me. I suddenly wonder the same. What in the world is he doing on the bus? Without learning the answer, we arrive at school and I wander down the hallway. What class am I supposed to go to...? Something is wrong with my memory. I end up at my AP United States History class. "Oh yeah, I have APUSH first period," I remind myself.

But where is all my stuff? Is it in my locker? I go to my locker and find that someone else's stuff is there. "Did we have a locker change again?" I ask a nearby student.

"Yeah, it's really annoying when they do that. Should have waited 'till the next semester."

I remember that my alternate locker number is on my schedule... which is in my locker. Great. ((BTW, there is no such thing as a locker change or an alternate locker number. Yet another false memory.))

I go to the office and find a bunch of band students playing jingle bells very unenthusiastically to a tall, official looking lady. They finish as I enter the room, and she claps happily. I hesitantly approach the lady. "Um, I don't know if you're the right person to ask for this... What is my new locker number?"

"You're number 18," she says cheerily, without even looking at a list. "I placed you myself. See, we try to position everyone based on their abilities."

"Okay... 18. Thanks." How does she know who I am? What abilities? I mull the question over and walk out the wrong door. I get it right on my second try. "Great," I say to myself, embarrassed, "I definitely have 'special' abilities, alright."

At that point I "wake up" in my car, pouring sweat. Ugh it's so hot in here... I look around and note that I'm in the student parking lot. Weird... I don't think we even have school today. Was I sleep driving? I'd better call my mom and let her know where....

My thoughts trail off as I RC and become lucid. All worries assuaged, I observe my surroundings. It is sunny, and though the parking lot is empty, there are people walking everywhere. I happily get out of the car and decide to go on a walk. No telling what might develop along the way.

It isn't long before I come upon a gang of boys who are playing with a yoyo. The youngest (who is about 10) accidentally slams it on the ground and breaks it. "Oh no," he moans. "If Carlos finds out about this, he'll kill all of us." I notice what is in my hand at the same time they do. One of those rubber yoyo's with the flashing lights inside of it. Well, then...

I break into a run, and they all jump on motorcycles and come after me. I'm fast, but they're faster. I make it to a bridge several miles from my house before they catch up with me. Well, I gave them a chance. They chose not to take it.

With an evil grin, I leap into the air just before the bikes would have run me over. They skid to a halt and glare up at me, unfazed by my unnatural performance. I am suddenly hurdling through the air directly at the largest gang member. My foot slams into his chest with enough force to knock him off the bridge to his death. NOW they look appropriately frightened. I make short work of the others. Now only the youngest is left. I do not intend to kill him at first, but then he holds one of his dead comrades in front of him as a shield. This angers me. "Stupid street punk!" I yell as I beat the life out of him.

3- Playing with Energy
I am listening in to the Elders' meeting without their knowledge.

"What? The youngest son of the Uria clan has run off?"

"He is a disgrace to his family."

"What of the eldest?"

"Her position in this matter is unknown. When asked about it, she merely said, 'These things happen.'"

I roll my eyes and place the headphones back on the table. Stupid old bags. Is it really so difficult to understand why my brother ran off?

My uncle walks in the room, and I look as innocent and meek as possible as he goes into his usual speech of upholding the family values, blah blah blah, and I'd better not end up like my "wretch of a brother."

At this point, I RC and become lucid, exiting the role of this Uria character.

I go to the back door and walk outside, thinking about the Queen (yet again) and wondering if I should try to contact her. I am still contemplating this when I look up and notice Sadie sitting nearby with two other cats. One of them seems to be massaging the other's shoulders. At first they look similar to cats I'd previously owned, but then they change slightly and I no longer recognize them.

The one who had been getting the massage runs over to me and bites my hand affectionately. I pet her and ask her what her name is. No answer. "Come on, you can tell me." She still doesn't answer. I look at her black and white companion. "Hey, cat. I know that's not your name, so speak and tell me what it is." No answer. "Sadie?" Sadie turns up her tail and ignores me. "Hmph. Fine, be that way." I ask the cat that I'm petting one more time what her name is, and I hear my stepdad's voice behind me say "Betty."

"Betty?"

"Yeah, that's her name."

He and my brother walk up and start horseplaying. I notice that whenever my brother goes to throw a punch, I can see his energy fly from his hand and hit Chris before the physical impact. "That's interesting," I say. Chris takes some of Steven's energy in his hand and forms it into a ball, then throws it at me. "Ow!" That really hurt. He throws another one, but this time I catch it and examine it closely. I let my own energy flow into it; the ball goes from being clear to swirling with black and purple energy. "Interesting," I say again. I throw the ball at Chris. At first it sticks to my hand and absorbs back into me, but I make a new ball of my own and throw it. I have terrible aim; it lands several feet away and creates a mini explosion.

I notice it's getting dark out, which is a good indication that the dream is getting unstable. I wake up before I can do anything about it.

4- Canoeing
I am watching from above as PJ and a few other people are canoeing in a beautiful wide river surrounded by an evergreen forest. The dream tells me that this is in Detroit, Michigan or maybe Delaware, I can't remember which. I know it started with a D.

In which I fail to stay lucid...

I'm cleaing out my closet and I come across a box of books. I open the first book I see and try to read a page. The words are all real words and they follow a basic sense of English grammar, but they don't make any sense. It said something very similar (maybe not exactly) to this:

The numerous trawling sofas affix zealots in the blind.

I leaned back, touched by the poetry of the words. How pretty "affix zealots in the blind" sounds! Then I started to wonder at the meaning and realized that I didn't actually understand the line. I looked at it again, but this time it said (again, close but not exactly):

Battered and flourescent utilities of ionic compounds lull banners.

I thought that maybe they were talking about the properties of ionic compounds and the banners of zealots. It didn't seem as pretty this time, and I was aware that the words had changed. Some of the phrases kept repeating over and over again in my mind, especially the "affix zealots in the blind" part and the "utilities of ionic compounds" part. I kept hearing them, loud, and finally realized that it wasn't my poor reading skills- these words simply did not make sense.

I realized I was dreaming. I got very excited and stood up to do a reality check. Instead of pinching my nose or rubbing my hands (which is really what I'm supposed to do), I walked over to my window and opened the blinds. I could see my bird feeders and bird bath, but the image was frozen. All the birds were still frolicking and eating, but they were frozen as if in a picture. There was a hawk frozen in mid-flight.

I'm dreaming! I thought excitedly. Then I woke up.

Just read how to WILD before going to bed at 1:00. Set alarm for 6:00 to WILD, but just fell back asleep. Woke up at 9:20, decided to give it a go . . .

Relaxed and watched the blackness, felt/heard a buzzing. When the buzzing stopped, I opened my eyes. I took a quick glance at my hands, six fingers a piece per usual (in this world anyways); I knew I was dreaming. I got out of my loft bed and went down some stairs to the ground level, where I saw a mirror on the wall. I tried to crawl through the mirror, but without success. So I walked outside. I was in my Ohio neighborhood. I decided that I wanted to head to a warm coastal location (which in my dream land is usually located to the South. As I leisurely ran south, I found myself downtown and where there were quite a few tanks (too many video games). I jumped onto one, ran around another and decided to run east as there only seemed to be more battle in the south. Next, I found myself driving a sports car on a highway, and then into a suburban area. I got out and began walking again, saw a few people, and woke up.

It was lots of fun, and I look forward to trying it again tonight! This is the first time I ever had a WILD, and the 5 step plan helped a lot!

Dream - Lucid

I MILDed again!

I just used my mantra of "I will become lucid" and also said "I will reality check" a couple of times. Yay! I'm glad I found a method that works. Thanks, Matte!

I was at my house. Some mini leprechaun guy, I think it was supposed to be a guy I know in waking life named Jonni, killed my friend/coworker Virginia in her sleep at her apartment. He was very smart, so there's no way she or anyone could elude him, even if the attack was known about in advance. I was terrified this would happen to me, and my parents were at a movie. I was home alone, and it was getting late. I tried to call my mom and she said they'd be home soon. I fell asleep and woke up quite a few times, each time with a wave of terror upon waking. I called my mom a few more times. I fell asleep and woke up again, and my mom was home, working in her office. It was midnight. I went over to her and told her how scared I was. She seemed annoyed and told me she could just give me a Xanax and lay there with me until I fell asleep, but she truthfully hated doing that for my dad. She said if I didn't fall asleep, she wouldn't do it. I got excited and told her I promised I'd fall asleep. I thought to myself even if I didn't fall asleep, I could pretend so she wouldn't leave.

~

I had another dream, but I swore I'd remember it and didn't write it down. Guess what? I forgot it. I fell asleep and woke up again, and decided to MILD. I did my mantras until I fell asleep.

~

I was in an episode of Family Guy. The story was about how one of the characters met his wife. It wasn't a very funny episode though. We were on a bus going to basic training for the military. I was sitting with a younger version of Peter. He pulled out a bag of pot mixed with cocaine, and said we could just do the coke off our fingers. I really didn't want to do that. He had just pulled it out, opened it, and stared at it for awhile.

We got to basic training. It was nighttime outside. We walked through the grass to a screened-in shed that had many seats in front of a stage-type thing with a podium on it for a speaker. We were supposed to listen to someone talk, but they weren't there yet. I smoked a cigarette with Peter. We saw the girl that one of the characters was supposed to meet. She was a cartoon with long, brown, wavy hair and she was dressed all in blue. She smiled flirtatiously as she flipped her hair. Peter's voice came on in the background to say something like "And there she was.".

The speaker finally came, a big black woman, and we all sat in the chairs. We listened to her talk, and she told us that we had to get up at 5 A.M. every day because one of the people in charge had to get up that early. I thought that was a little ridiculous, but it was the military, so I didn't argue. We were dismissed. I took Peter's hand and he offered me a cigarette. I took one, and he lit mine off of his. We walked past this little area where there were big rocks surrounding a tree in a semi circle. Morrie from Tuesdays With Morrie was there, all cartoonified. Him and Peter made some sort of joke, and we kept walking. We went into another little screened-in shed. There was a big banner lying on a table to welcome us. A big rainbow appeared on the banner. I thought it was very sarcastic sounding, since it was welcoming us to the military.

Wait what? Rainbows don't just appear on banners. I was dreaming! I knew the dream was almost over, but I examined my hands anyway to induce clarity. Things kept fading, but I finally stabilized them a bit. I did an RC. There was a chalkboard/marker board in the room. It had an orange spiral drawn on it with text inside of it. There were little stick people drawn off to the side. I glanced away and looked back. The text had changed, and the spiral was smaller. I floated up through the ceiling and ended up inside my family's bonus room. I could feel that I was going to wake up any minute, so I quickly thought of something I could do in a short amount of time. I decided to fly through space, if only for a minute. I took off through the ceiling and I was in space! It was beautiful. There were purpleish-blue stars everywhere, and I saw an orange galaxy off in the distance. It was amazing. It only lasted a few seconds though, before it started to fade to black.

13 JAN 2011

Nearing the apparent conclusion of a lengthy and dramatic dream, I find myself running through narrow streets and building sites in an attempt to reach 'safety'. I recognise this as a fear-based situation and gradually become lucid. Scaffolding poles begin to fall around me, and I instinctively cover my head with my arm, even as I am beginning to sense that I cannot actually be harmed.

As I consider my options, I realise that the first thing I should do is simply step out of the narrative; an option available to anyone, at any time, whether dreaming or awake (for only then can other options be clearly considered). And, sure enough, the moment I stop running everything around me becomes totally quiet and serene - eerily so, in fact.

Looking into the distance, I see a huge metallic monolith blocking my way. Then I focus on what's immediately around me (rubble, a digger truck, wasteland) and feel this to be one of the most solid and 'realistic' dream environments I've ever experienced. So much so, in fact, that the prospect of flying or manipulating objects seems as unlikely as it does in waking reality. As an experiment, therefore, I resort to verbal commands (which have worked in the past).... "Take me up there," I demand, looking at the giant monolith. But nothing happens.

Of course, there was no compelling reason to go onwards, since I had stepped outside of the narrative. Indeed, there was nowhere to go at all, nor anything to achieve, in the absence of a linear context of some kind. [In the absence of the ego?] And this realisation filled me with a profound sense of bliss and freedom. As I contemplated the matter further, I felt that I was being given a valuable insight into the subtle nature of the prison (the egoic auto-pilot) which keeps most people enslaved. And it really is 'subtle', at the end of the day... Freedom itself being nothing more than a shift in one's perspective.

Notes

In light of the above dream, I would like to refine my description of OILD. Specifically, I would like to introduce the concept of a get out of jail free card (or 'option') which exists permanently in one's back pocket, so to speak, regardless of whether one is awake or asleep. In other words, it's not merely that one has other options to consider, in any given situation (context based), but that one [always] has the option to 'play the card' and transcend the context altogether. Indeed, this is the first option that one should utilise when 'triggered' to do so by obstacles, conflicts or fear-based situations, etc.

Needless to say, it's not as easy as it sounds, because emotions, fear and ego tend to prevail. This is because we are totally identified with the 'narrative' of own waking lives and the resulting sense of identity. I suppose what I'm ultimately referring to here is detachment, clarity of mind, and the dissolution of the apparent self (if only temporarily)... Which is, of course, the goal of many spiritual traditions, which also happen to see "lucid dreaming" as an indication of one's progress.

"Use your perceived enemy to destroy your real enemy."

OILD - Because there's ALWAYS another option!

Finally lucid!!!!!! :banana:

[INDENT][RIGHT][SIZE="1"][COLOR="#808080"]12.01.2011[/COLOR][/SIZE][/RIGHT]
[SIZE="3"][COLOR="Black"]1/12/11 - 12[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE="1"][COLOR="#808080"](DILD)[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[SIZE="1"][COLOR="#808080"]NON-DREAM[/COLOR] [COLOR="#1E90FF"]DREAM[/COLOR] [COLOR="#DC143C"]LUCID[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[COLOR="#808080"][/COLOR][COLOR="#1E90FF"]1) It's night and I'm near X Street. I'm walking across the lawn of the house next to NC's old house and I begin to walk down the driveway. Wait, this must be a dream! [/COLOR][COLOR="#DC143C"]I'm lucid! I can't panic, I don't want this one to end right away like all my other ones! I need to rub my hands together and spin. I remember reading a Wikipedia article that said 96% of people can stay in their lucids longer if they rub their hands together The test was conducted by Stephen LaBerge, who's the most credible source in the field, so I'm going to try that. I rub my hands together while spinning and I actually don't wake up!! This is great; I'm finally in a lucid! I remember that I can't be too excited, or else I'd wake up.

I feel pretty calm and turn around to look at the road. There are lots of people walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street, despite it beign night. They're kind of hunched over and are walking at a rather rapid pace. I want to kill them. Since this is a dream, I should be able to think them dead and they should die right there. I imagine them withering and falling to the ground, but they don't. They simply walk by and I try remotely killing another group, but this attempt is also unsuccessful. I look to my left and FH is there, presumably trying to attack me, but I don't really know. She's only about a foot away from me, so hopefully I'll be able to kill her because of the shorter distance. I flex my muscles and wish her dead, but she remains standing. In a desperate attempt to halt this menace before me, I try to freeze her, hoping that she'll be locked immovably in a block of ice for eternity. However, this fails as well. Discouraged, I walk back towards the driveway and begin to feel the dream fading away. I rub my hands again and can feel the friction, [/COLOR][COLOR="#1E90FF"]but I've woken up and the dream is now over. [/COLOR][COLOR="#808080"](Not really, but I think it's over.)

[/COLOR][COLOR="#1E90FF"]2)[/COLOR][COLOR="#808080"] False awakening from 1. [/COLOR][COLOR="#1E90FF"]I'm in the kitchen checking my phone, and I see that I have a text from my mother telling me good luck on my LD. I'm somewhat alarmed, as my mother shouldn't know about LDing!! I've been trying to keep it a secret from her. Oh well, it's not a big deal. The tone in the text sounds positive and she doesn't seem mad; by using the abbreviation "LD," she probably has at least a cursory knowledge of the subject.

3) I'm on a bus. DS's mom makes him come over to play with me. I realize that must be pretty embarrassing for him, but I realize it's not his fault, it's his mother's. He walks up to me and says, "BINGO!" He pulls out a game that's apparently called BINGO. He gives me a purple Skittle and tells me to eat it. I do, and he tells me the point of the game is that we both eat Skittles and then we have to guess how many are left in the other person's mouth. We have to try to swallow some without the other person noticing.

4) I'm in a store with JF. There are small glass items on shelves. JF and I talk, and AG and/or dad might have been there too.

5) I'm reading the newspaper in the kitchen. My parents are showing me an article? and they tell me that I'm looking through yesterday's paper. No wonder it looked so familiar! I pick up the one under it and begin searching through it for the article?

6) I'm dining in a very high-scale restaurant. There's an opulent carpet and everyone is wearing suits. A gargantuan chandelier hangs from the ceiling. The roof is open so we can the city outside: it's nighttime and the city is bustling and bright. JM is on my left and BS is on my right. We're at a huge table with a bunch of people from school and we're having a great time in this really wealthy place. I look through the place where there's no roof and see an unusally large plane. It says on it in huge blue letters, "American Airlines." It's going towards the White House, and I'm kind of conflicted - society has taught me that it's bad to wish for bad things upon other people, but in my heart I thought it would be pretty cool to witness a major plane crash myself. The plane smashes into the White House. I momentarily regret my decision, as perhaps just thinking that thought caused the greatest tragedy in American history. I know that thousands of people died, as there were were tons of people in there, including the president, at a huge party. I think about where I am for a moment, glad I'm safe. Oh, wait. I'm in Boston's Logan Airport, probably filled with thousands of people. Most people in the city are probably here. I look around the room I'm in and there are probably over a thousand people in this room alone. I look into the sky and see a train curving towards us. It has a number on top of it like a bus, but it's long enough to be a train. It's flying through the air over the city and it's headed straight for us. We're going to die.

Everyone runs around in vain, screaming like it's the apocalypse. I turn to BS and look at him before getting up and running down the huge staircase. It's a futile attempt, though; the train hits and we all die.

7) I'm on DV when I'm not supposed to be. My dad walks into the room and says, "I hear typing. You're not supposed to be typing now." I desperately try to close the window in fear, but he catches me. I'm in HUGE trouble.

8) UJ is on the back porch telling me about gifts he gave me when I was little. My mother has some stuff to say about them, too.

9) I'm playing through a video game. It's a really long game and it felt like I was playing it for days. [/COLOR][COLOR="#808080"]I think it was a really long dream.

[/COLOR][COLOR="#1E90FF"]10) I'm in an abandoned house and it's towards the end of the movie?????

11) I'm at the intersection of X Street and Y Street. It's the beginning of a movie, which is meant to be a comedy. An African-American middle-aged man had the situation under control, but then a young Asian-American (probably around 25) arrived in a police car, but he wasn't much help. He was probably an inexperienced new police officer.

12) I'm walking down Z Street, and at the bend something happens. (I look at a dog?)[/COLOR][/INDENT]

1/12/11

1- Why Reality Checks Are Useful
Driving has never been incredibly easy for me, but it's certainly never been this difficult! What is wrong with me today? Or is it the car? I flinch and hit the brakes nearly ten feet from the stopped car in front of me, but my stupid Kia keeps moving and bumps into it. Either the driver doesn't notice, or he doesn't care. More than a bit unnerved, I turn onto the interstate and head STRAIGHT INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC!!! Oh my God, I'm going to die!

In a panic, I swerve to the right side of the road, lose control of the car (as if I ever had control in the first place), and slam into a vehicle who was blaring their horn at me in horror. My car is totaled. "Good thing this is just a dream," I say to myself right before I die.

I am majorly confused. My mother tells me that I wrecked my car, but I am certain that the crash was only a dream. Was it possible that the car was destroyed as a RESULT of my dream? Or am I dreaming right now? Hmm...

The dream changes. I am now a man who has been killing people in his sleep. The memory is vague at this point, but I recall looking at a lady with short blond hair who was holding a bloody knife...

★★★☆☆

01/09/11

I just found a Star Wars game for my phone. I decide to try it out, so I'm tilting it left and right, figuring out the controls. Spacebar is jump.

I'm in the game. My surroundings are a dank green, covered in vines and rot. This was a school once. I try out the jump command, disappointed when I realize I have only first-level force jump. It doesn't matter; I'll be able to get around just fine.

Obi-Wan's shade appears beside me to explain my mission. This is strange, because I'm pretty sure I'm a past version of him. The force ghost fizzles out and disappears, exploding into four green blobs of goo. They reform and immediately begin to scuttle about, taking shape as Gravelings, mischievous reptilian creatures that arrange the accidental deaths of the people around them.

I strike with my single lightsaber, v-stepping in and twisting away after I cut through the torso of one of the gravelings. The creature goes still in shock, before it disintegrates in a flash of red sparks. With a sweep of my lightsaber, the others are scuttling away. I finish them off with force lightening.

Later, alone in an empty room, I suddenly realize that I'm dreaming. It feels like waking up. I try to remember my goals, but I come up blank. Fine - I'll run. I love to run in dreams. I take a running start and leap from a four-foot ledge.

In one reality, I can feel myself flying.
I drift away, into the blue, blue sky, heedless of the ceiling that used to be there. Simultaneously I'm falling, landing. I can feel the remnants of the other reality until all four of my limbs slowly reach the floor. I lay my forehead onto the cold cement and just breathe.

I see Zoe, walking away into a crowd of faceless people. I call out to her, chase after her. Her blonde hair swishes as she half turns, keeps walking.

We're sitting side by side, looking at the massive crowd milling about through the mall. She's counting the cash in a till.

"There's something you want to tell me," she says, flipping through a pile of five dollar bills.

"Yep."

She scowls, but doesn't turn to look at me. "Well?" she asks, "What is it?"

"You could say," I smile faintly, "That I have slightly more than platonic feelings for you."

Her hands go still. "Oh."

"But that doesn't matter," I say, leaning back.

"And why is that?"

"Because," I say, and I stretch my hands out in front of my face, "None of this is real."

And the dream dissolves into static.

Running. Scare Factor: 3.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG SHARED

00:40

Loafs for the poor
I’m at the office where my mom used to work. It was a strange building with office rooms along two parallel corridors and I’m going back and forth on these corridors, looking for something, I think the kitchen, because I’m hungry. I encounter Beta, a lady from my childhood, but I try not to be noticed by her. I go after her, quietly and she eventually leads me to a lobby where a huge pool with bread and cookies is set to be delivered to hungry people. Well, I’m hungry so I think it’s ok to take a loaf of bread, which I do, but then some young guy also decides to do the same and he is picky, sorting the whole grain bread, sliced bread and so on, to chose one he likes. I think maybe I could also choose a nicer bread, but in the end I feel bad, because I'm not supposed to take anything at all.

Giant parasite wasps
Then I meet my friend Top Gun who offers a ride somewhere. I accept and he drives me while we talk. I find out he is now father of a baby girl, but when I ask about her mother, he says they aren’t together. He still has a crush on me and is not in love with her. We’re going uphill and we cross a funny bridge made of lava, over a river. I fasten my seatbelt when I see we’re entering a strange and rough terrain. On top of the hill, on the other side of the bridge, we then go through a stone paved road with a steeply sloping downwards. The environment here is completely different, moist and warm, and I spot exotic animals all over, like giant orange butterflies and strange birds. In common they all seem to have one thing: they all have giant wasp-like insects parasitizing them. The poor butterflies have to carry around a bug which is their own size. Unfortunately one of these wasps decides to parasitize me to. It flies into my face and nails itself to my nose, almost like a piercing. It hurts and freaks me out. I wake up.

3:00

Magic battle I
Can’t recall the beginning but I’m inside some castle which is under attack and I’m someone important, like a princess, because everybody is protecting me as I am the main target of some evil forces who breached the castle. I am being escorted by maids and body-guarded by some knights. When going down some hallway to a safer place, we’re attacked by some warrior mage holding in his hand a narwhal’s horn as a spear. He pierces through a knight that puts himself in front of me to save me. Me and a maid are cornered and trapped between the dying knight and this attacker, and he is trying to push the horned spear deeper through the knight, trying to pierce me to. He almost gets is way, but this brave knight is using his last bit of energy to pull him away from me so I can escape. I manage to escape that corner and I fight the guy and steal his narwhal spear. I use it to kill him. It is so sharp that it cuts through flesh as if it is butter. The guy dies but with an evil grin on his face, as if he found some delight in the way I surprised him and killed him.
The maids and knights are again escorting me down this hallway when we sense a dark energy above our heads and we run before it attacks us. They then push me up some spiral stone staircase that goes up to some more private chambers, where I should be more protected, but as soon as I arrive up there, I find an Hawaiian witch (don’t ask me, I just knew she was Hawaiian) who tries to kill me with a curse. Luckily I react pretty fast and I throw back the curse at her. After all, I don’t seem toned that much protection, I can protect myself very well. The witch runs from the reversed spell and flies out of the window on a nearby balcony. She is a bit disoriented, so she falls down on the ground below the balcony. I run to the edge of the balcony and I attack her, pointing my hands at her and using some magical powers to hold her down and inflict excruciating pain on her. I’m pulling her body parts in all directions (that must hurt) but without ever really breaking it apart, so she doesn’t really die, ‘cause we must interrogate her. When she is finally under control, I leave her to the knights.
I turn back to see my maids all looking at her. They seem scared with my powers and I feel maybe I’m not such a good soul, if I can inflict so much pain and suffering to someone. But they all smile timidly, trying to show me it’s ok, because it was self-defense and they are the bad guys, not us. I guess...

5:30

Magic battle II
I’m walking up some village, holding two tiny bottles with some potions on my hands. I pass by some old guys sitting on some church stairs and they seem interested in the bottles, so I hide them in a pocket and decide to fly back home and avoid exposing myself longer to the outside dangers. I fly high so I spot my home – it’s a fortress by the sea. When I arrive there I see strange pot-like structures floating in the waters around it. I grab one or two and they don’t seem threatening, instead they look like beautiful works of art, some raffia pots with contemporary shapes. I take them to my maids and they love it, they want to put some plants inside it. Then we keep taking strange objects from the water, like a never ending knitted thread that reminds me of Joana Vasconcelos’work of art.
Then I have a gap in my recall, but soon after we’re under attack again. We run to inside the castle and we try to lock the gates. Some warlock with an army has come to try to kill me again. Man, they really don’t like me for some reason!
The gates are barely holding and some brave knight is holding it shut with his own arm strength. I try to help him but he tells me to go away and save myself. But the warlock outside sends a shot of electricity through the gates and the knight is being electrocuted in front of my eyes. He holds the gate for as long as he can, but he eventually falls. I then see this warlock with the army breaking in and about to start killing any person they find on their way. I think I must stop it and I try to shoot fireballs from my hands. I then remember I just read and discussed on DV about this during the day – how rationalizing too much blocks it from happening successfully. Of course, by now, I’m lucid. I then concentrate, but not in the actual design of the fireballs, but on the gut feeling of wanting to shoot them and I form the most amazing fire blows I’ve ever been able to shoot. I feel their warmth and their power and I see the army and the warlock burning into flames. It’s a resounding success.
Free from the immediate danger, we all go up the ramp behind the gates that lead to the main entrance of the fortress on highest ground. I fly to pass all the maids and knights. We’re then looking over the castle walls to see if there’s any other imminent attack but we see no one, so people celebrate.
I think my work is done here and I should try to do the ToTY while I’m lucid. But in the hurry I forgot to make it very clear in my mind. I simply jumped from the castle walls to the ground below, wishing to dive in the ground and exit on the “other side”. But when I was going through the “wormhole” I realised I hadn’t yet formulated my destination. I tried to think of a yellow brick road and Dorothy’s red shoes but it was too late.

Pissed off for being (falsely) awaken
I feel myself waking up and I try hard to stay in sleep. I hear someone knocking the door and my BF getting up to open it. It’s really early morning and I wonder who it is. It’s my mom, aunt Lisa and my dad. What do they want? My BF left the door open, so the cat comes inside as he always does in the morning and tries to wake me up. I still fight to stay asleep and go back to LDs. But they are talking loud in the corridor and my mom and Lisa eventually come inside and sit on the bed, trying to wake me up. I feel pissed. I give up and open my eyes. They are fired up with conversations but I feel grumpy. My aunt decides to leave again to speak to my father and I stay with mom. I tell her please not to do that again, because she knows how my sleep is sacred and I tell her I was just having LDs and they interrupted it. She says she is sorry, that she didn’t remember that but she knew how important it was for me, so she would be more careful next time. OK. Now I’m getting up to dress myself and I listen my father and Lisa outside the room talking. He is happy to explain her his theories about killing ants and eliminate this plague from her home – he has not been successful convincing me, ‘cause I don’t want to exterminate the ants in my home...
Then I really wake up and I am truly surprised that before I was still dreaming.

8:00

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING PRECOG SHARED

22:00

Seattle
Watching on TV or reading on some mag about some cute cars to rent on Seattle to see the town. I see an image of it and then I’m there walking among lots of people. Then I seat on a bench and my dad appears by my side and we discuss stuff about my trip to Seattle.

Weird souvenir shop
On some walls of a castle and I am watching scenes from the past as if they are happening right then. But there’s an off voice explaining the events and describing the place, like a documentary. I learn that these walls have secret passages inside that few people knew about and through which soldiers would move to defend the city. Then I’m inside these passages. Then I find a souvenir shop inside it and a glass showcase with CDs and DVDs as well as small figurines for sale. One of the DVDs is about some knight saint that for some reason looks like a mason to me. Then there’s also a figurine of Smith from The Matrix, although very badly designed. I also see some DVD about Tibet. I don't see what's the connection between this stuff.

2:40

Family meeting
At my mom’s with her and my cat. We go from there to my grandparents country house where we meet with more of the family. We’re already late, but not the last ones arriving. As my aunts finalize the lunch or dinner, I check out what they are cooking and find the most strange and delicious things, like some filled yellow pastries and kiwi puddings with egg white filling. Then my cousin João, which I don’t see for years, also joins us. We hug for a long long time while we inform each other about what we’ve been doing these past few years. But we don’t want to let go of each other. My father seems to find inappropriate that we’re hugging so much. I don’t care.

4:00

Meeting an alternate version of Riverstone
I get lucid when I’m in front of the mirror in my room. I cross it too soon, before formulating where I want to go, so I get lost in the wormhole/tunnel I cross and almost wake up. I hold on and find myself back in the room. I try a second time this time formulating that I wish to enter Riverstone’s dreams. I cross the mirror again and get out on a room that looks symmetrical of his real room, plus, instead of the posters on the wall, it is covered in real paintings with amazing abstract and surreal art. I focus particularly on one representing a princess with a baby, tied up in a rope and free falling from the sky with the Disney castle on the top of a mountain on the background. Creepy. I then notice that a slightly changed version of Riverstone is sitting on the bed. It looks like him, but a bit more geeky and with a very short black beard. He looks surprised, but not too much and invites me to sit on the bed with him. I accept, but his energy is a bit disturbing. I was going to ask him the meaning of the painting of the princess, but someone calls him and he has to leave the room in a hurry. I go after him and when I cross the door I find an amazing painting on the front wall, stretching to the concave ceiling, inspired on the Wizard of Oz. It has many dogs on the background, of several breeds. It’s a realistic yet naïve type of painting. I then turn to the left and at the end of the corridor I find a large hallway leading to many different studios where young artists work. I see works of art everywhere.
I see Riverstone disappearing to some basement and I follow him. It is a printing office and there’s some kind of emergency there he is trying to solve. I realise he is the boss and his employees step aside while he solves the issue. I see gigantic maps they print on a large printer and one map is being printed right now and it was coming out wrongly so he takes the matter in hands and makes it work. Besides the more “arty” work they do, they also do prints of several sizes for all sorts of clients. He is explaining me his business and then he asks me about me, who am I and what I’m doing there. I tell him about Riverstone and that I was trying to enter his dreams and seem to have ended up meeting instead some sort of alternative Riverstone – maybe one that lives inside his own mind, I don’t know. He tells me the other Riverstone is lucky to have me, but then I see a strange glow in his eyes and he starts telling me that if I choose to stay with him, he would make me even happier. I reply that it wouldn’t be fair to the other himself. But the guy is really becoming fond of this idea. I decide to leave when he is back to his work. I run to the room to enter the mirror again, but he runs after me. He changes the mirror, which now is smaller and closer to the ceiling, making it hard to jump through it. But I try. The crossing is harder and the guy is grabbing one of my arms, not allowing me to go.

H. G. Wells museum and a totalitarian regime
Finally I get rid of his hand around my arm and I land on the other side on what seems to be the exact same house. But this time there’s nobody there and space-time seem to be distorted. I am floating like there’s no gravity at all (not because I want) and I can only move in slow motion. I decide to leave this place immediately so I face the mirror again to cross it. My hair is all spread out, like a medusa and my cheeks are red from the effort i have to make on every movement. I enter through the mirror again and this time I exit on some narrow street, which looks like Lisbon. I see a group of young people in front of a designer shop. They are all wearing similar yet different pieces of knitted wool clothes in very lively colours. I peek at inside the shop and the thing that gets my attention is a large basket hanging from the ceiling with some light brown knitted balls that look like beans and a sign saying “soya”. A piece of art, I guess. The group starts walking up the stone paved street. We pass under an arch. I follow them, because I’m curious to whom they are and what they are going to do. They seem to be on some kind of silent demonstration, but I don’t understand what it is about – something about non-conformity.
Then they split into pairs and I follow a couple that enters some museum. They don’t go beyond the museum shop and I get bored of following them so I decide to exit through some back door. It’s dark outside and they come warn me that it is dangerous outside. I ignore them a bit and walk through some alley, just to be confronted with armed men who will shoot first and ask later. They start shooting their automatic weapons in our direction. I think the young couple is hit but the bullets don’t harm me, because I remind myself I’m dreaming. I fly high until the clouds. They keep shooting and they hit a bomber plane whose wrecks almost hit me on its fall. I descend from the clouds a bit further away. The day is breaking. I see an amazing complex of buildings and machines, ranging from Japanese temples, to oil derricks to steam-punk machinery, etc. I go closer to check what it is. I see people walking between these buildings and machines and then I spot some tour guide explaining some machine and I find out this is an open air museum dedicated to H.G.Wells. The funny part is that when I hear the tour guide I realise this is a society under tyranny of a totalitarian regime which has no place for free will or free speech. The tour guide is trying to explain the concept of free thinking without really going into free thinking and people who listen to him seem confused and afraid that he is even daring to mention such heretic thoughts. He asks forgiveness and explains he is just trying to tell a story of how things were but in no way promoting it. I come down and sit by the side of some visitors on a bench. Then some desperate guy enters this place with a gun and shouting provocative slogans. He takes some people as hostages and forces them to shout slogans with him. People are scared of him and they do it. Then some intervention forces arrive and start shooting as soon as they step over a bridge facing the unwilling group of “demonstrators”. They don’t care if these people are innocent; they are only care about shutting them up. I get caught between them and the bullets. When they start shooting, I wake up.

6:00

Knock out
I’m going through some kitchen drawers looking for some home textiles. I find a green translucent cloth that serves my purpose and then I hang it on a nearby door, just to see if the size fits. Then I feel a strong blow on the back of my head and I fall on the floor. I feel dizzy, but I think I’m ok. I look around and seems like a wood beam fell from the ceiling and hit me. But soon I start feeling vertigo and I ask some girls I see behind a counter to call for help. Then I watch them discussing ho too call. I tell them there’s no possible discussion there, just call 112 (the European 911). They still aren’t convinced. I black out. I later wake up lying on the floor and I see my mom looking at me. She complains that they took a long time calling her because my personal contacts’ agenda is not well organized and they didn’t know who to call. I insist there was no confusion possible; they just had to call 112. Apparently nobody did. I don’t care, I feel better and I get up.
[In the morning, I thought maybe my cat jumped on my head while I was asleep and that's why I dreamed this]

Playing ball
I then am in the atrium of a train station and I see some kids playing ball. The ball comes to my direction and I kick it back to them. They like me and start throwing the ball at me on purpose. I play some tricks and they love it. Then some kid finds coins on the floor and he hands it to me, saying it’s 500 cents. I smile and I see it’s only 1 euro and something. I say for him to keep it, but he says that all the kids would agree that I deserve it. I find it cute. Then he starts cheering for me and all the kids start cheering and saying my name out loud. I feel embarrassed.

8:00

1/12/11 - Wall-Walking
Dream Non-dream Lucid

Yay finally, a fun little lucid!

I don't remember how I got lucid, but I definitely knew I was dreaming. I was at the front door of my house, and there was a big bubble on the porch. I jumped into the air, and floated/air-swam over to the bubble, and pulled it back into the house with me and closed the door. Will was there, and I'd been trying to impress him, though I knew he was a DC. I gave him the bubble and he left.
Remembering a scene from the movie Inception, I decided to try and walk up a wall, and change my perspective a bit - almost like turning the room sideways. I looked around for a good wall to use, and found that my dad's office was perfect, with walls and areas of ceiling at varying angles. I saw my dad sitting at his desk and asked him, "Can I walk on your walls? It is my dream." He just nodded and smiled, so I turned to the wall and walked straight at it, then stepped onto it and walked straight up. It took some concentration, but the room's gravity seemed to shift. The wall I was on became my floor. I proceeded to walk all over the walls and ceiling, enjoying it very much. At some point I decided to get rid of all gravity, and just float around. I did lots of flips and turns, enjoying the way it made the room spin, and the overall weightlessness of it. I then started talking to my dad about it, and he said something about a baseball team, which confused me. I rolled over in bed and woke up.

Maybe next time I'll remember to do something productive.

7 January 2011
I was at a university (where i used to study many moons ago) and walked from the one side to the other side around the university grounds. As i walked it became darker and darker. I came across lots of Acacia trees and in the middle was an opening where a fire was burning. The university was still visible in the back ground in daylight. I saw 4 people, i standing and the rest sitting around the fire. There were a flash of light and it felt like I had sand in my eyes - struggling to see and walking towards the fire. There the 4th person who was standing all the time shouted at me to get away and actually pulled me away to avoid me touching the 3 dead bodies that laid scorching on the ground.

Needless to say, I could not sleep after this.

11.01.2011

Psychokinesis, Sky-train and my wife. Dream Sharing extremely likely. (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Finally I am settle and I hope I can start writing down my dreams daily again. My recall did not get affected. I recalled four dreams, but I was too tired to write a lot of detail.

Fourth:

I was working in a store and realized it did not look like the Pata Negra store where I work at. I turned lucid. My lucidity was not really awesome and I was not thinking straight. I knew I was dreaming, however, I was mixing planes.

I wanted to sweep a piece of the store. I was hopping if I swept the store in the dream plane, I would do it as well on the physical plane and I would not need to do it when I woke up and go to work.

I exited the store and I met my wife. I wanted to find a broom (buy or steal one) to clean that up. I told my wife we were in a dream and I was looking for the broom. My wife did not acted dumb like a regular dream character. I entered the store once more and it looked like the checkout area of a grocery store. I realized that it was impossible to change the physical plane from the dream plane.

I left the store and my wife was still there. I saw a rail really high in the sky. The day was very sunny and the sky was very blue. I was talking with my wife and I felt it could be a dream share because she did not vanish when I entered the store, and she could talk and think on her own. I flew a little bit to make my dream stable. After a while, we walked into a crowded area. I found several dream characters.

I remembered reading at DV's that someone wanted to use psychokinesis on a random dream character. I rose my hand and tried it. It first did not work, however, when I tried again I could move a female dream character at will. I made her levitated and decided to turn her into a Pink teddy bear. I succeeded and gave the teddy bear to my wife.

We saw the tracks and I though it was going to be an awesome view. I found some dream characters waiting in line for paying. My wife suggested we did the same, but I told her we were going to jump in without paying, it was a dream afterall. My wife was not convinced but followed me. I climbed some ladders and jumped on the train. An alarm started to sound and my wife worried more. I told her to just ignore the menace and it would vanish. The cops walked by us, but as we ignored them, they kept searching. The dream vanished and I woke up.

I woke up and asked my wife if she recalled her dreams (she almost never does) She told me she could have dreamed with me and something about a train. I asked her if she had more dream memory recall, but she did not.

Missed dream signs:
- None.

Spotted dream signs:
- Working at a odd store.

Recolored (frag)
NON-DREAM NON-LUCID LUCID
My mom set down the folded clothes on my bed. My new T-shirt, which had originally had faded out logos, had been un-faded out and are now white. I ignored it and just put it away.

Gross Garage (frag)
NON-DREAM NON-LUCID LUCID
I walked into the garage to get a soda and as I pulled it out of the fridge, I realized my dog, who had spent the night in the garage, had shat on the floor. I called my parents so they could clean it up.

Look (lucid)
NON-DREAM NON-LUCID LUCID
After her lecture, my science teacher handed the class an indecipherable worksheet to do for homework. I asked my friend sitting next to me, "Hey, do you get this?" "Yeah." "Well, why can't I read it?" He shrugged. I walked out the class, but realized I just walked out of my MATH class, not my science class. And the worksheet wasn't legible because, well, it was a dream. I became lucid, and the worksheet became readable. It read on how to triangulate a location somewhere west of the school. I put it away in my backpack and walked toward that direction, maybe something was there. I noticed Justin, Rachel, and Nick were walking separately in the halls. They were all common characters in my dreams, so I decided to check to see if they were actually dreamers. I sent out a thought to Justin. 'Look at me. Now.' He suddenly turned and locked a hypnotized stare on me as I walked past him. I stopped looked around and he was gone. Rachel was in front of me, and I sent the same thought to her. Another creepy stare. I walked past her, and saw Nick resting by one of the classrooms. Yet another thought, but surprisingly no response.

Just a thought back. 'Why? I'm gonna listen to my iPod.' He pulls out his headphones whiched looked a helluva a lot like mine. He didn't have an iPod, so I dismissed him as a DC too. I ran up one of the walls, dropped my backpack, and ejected my wings. I stood on the end of the building, ready to jump, when I noticed my science classmates arguing about where to go as directed by the worksheet. "Hey!" I yelled. Many turned to my direction, dumbfounded. I pointed somewhere to the west. "It's over there!" They all looked, and I jumped off and took flight toward that direction. I was now flying above a grassy hill. Below me I saw a mansion that had occured in a dream I previously had about three months ago. It was the EXACT same thing. I flew down to it and pulled in my wings, but I couldn't control my landing as well as I thought. I flew to fast and undershot the location of the ground, and I fell face first into the dirt, knocking me out.