lucid

Mantras during WBTB (Wake Back To Bed), “I will realize when I’m dreaming, and I will wish my Daughter and mother in-law, Merry Christmas!” I actually typed this out 24 times at 5:00 Am, so it would be embedded in my mind for when I became lucid this morning. I also worked on body awareness exercises. Unfortunately I didn’t get to wish them Merry Christmas while lucid this morning, but I came pretty close, and there was an interesting synchronicity at the end. Here’s what happened:

I was sitting at my computer trying to do a Google search, but it wasn’t working. Every time I hit the enter key, nothing would happen, no virus, no nothing. One of my co-workers came up to me and said, “Hey buddy, you should use Firefox instead.” I just ignored him because I tried Firefox once many years ago and it was crap. He then pushed me off my seat and I landed in my bed. Normally I would have complained, but my bed felt so comfy. I sat there and watched him try to install Firefox. I then realized I was dreaming, because my bed isn’t in my office (at work). As soon as I became Lucid, he left my room, and I tried to call him back, but he didn’t come. I knew I had to do something while lucid, but I couldn’t remember. I tried to get up out of bed, but the dream ended.

Immediately after the lucid dream described above, I was lying in bed consciously aware, but my body was asleep. I then felt a vibration go through my body momentarily, then stop. I waited about 5 to 10 seconds, and then another one happened. These usually don’t last too long, so I needed to quickly lower my consciousness level, and tried to stay calm, preparing myself for when the vibrations peak with intensity. About a minute later there was a powerful vibration and I tried to leap from body into an OBE. I made it half way out, and I was pushing with my arms against my bed to try and pull myself out of my body. I could see my bedroom clearly, and I tried even harder to escape, but then I was sucked back in. Darn! I continued to lie in bed consciously aware. About 10 minutes later I heard my bedroom door slam close, and then it felt like I was floating on my bed, as if I was lightly hovering in and out of my body. I tried to OBE exit again, but no luck and I fell consciously asleep.

A short time later, I found myself in another dream. This time I was being snuggled between my wife and my sister in my mother’s dining room. It was like I was floating in the air, and they were holding me. My poodle was also floating right in front of me, and she was changing colors back and forth between white and black. There were ribbons floating in the air, and I was grabbing them as they floated past me. I decided to do a reality check, because this all seemed a little bit odd. To my surprise I was able to push my point finger right through my other hand! Yes, I’m lucid! I remembered my plan to wish my daughter and mother in-law Merry Christmas. My sister said, “He gets it!” (That I’m dreaming). I sprung to my feet and called for my daughter, mother in-law, and my great mother in-law to come and visit. BTW, my great, mother in-laws birthday is on Christmas day, so I figured I would also wish her a Merry Christmas and a Happy Birthday. I could feel the dream fading, so I immediately started to swirl, but I was too slow at reacting, and I woke. I tried to stay perfectly still and get back into the dream, but no luck. So I wished them all Merry Christmas, and my great, mother in-law Happy Birthday when I woke up this morning.

As a synchronicity to these excellent dream adventures, my wife received a text message this morning from a psychic medium we visit couple times a year. We’ve never had this happen before, where a psychic medium has sought us out. She said my daughter has been asking her all morning to send us a message from Heaven. She wanted to wish us a Merry Christmas, and to thank us for involving her in all that we do. Also to tell dad (me) that she hears me, and thanks me for connecting with her. She also said she sees some sparkly red shoes down here like something from the Wizard of Oz. Well this is amazing, because my wife just received some ‘over the wall’ flashy red tassel slippers from a co-worker as a fun present, and she was wearing them when she got the text message. These slippers truly are ‘Wizard of Oz’, and this text message really made our Christmas day feel extra special.

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Dream 12/22/2014

I was in my room and decided to go out the house through the window. I went through it and flew around the house and landed on the street in front of my house. I could see that on the sidewalk there was huge plants from a forest on a part of the sidewalk. As I was looking at it a black raven with red eyes appeared. Than two guys, one taller than the other, appeared. They told me I wasn't going to go anywhere because I had to listen to them now. I just went with it and let them take me to their secret spot.

It seemed like we were at a small restaurant though. There was a girl there drinking a shake who was apart of their group. I looked up at the sky and thought about how I wanted to fly up there. I started flying but still was pretty close to the ground. The guys started laughing at me. I let the thought of there being a flying barrier blow away from my mind and started flying higher into the sky. But stopped when I spotted a small cute store. I went inside with a guy dream character and looked at his yummy Icecream and cookie snack,

I sat down at a seat and a girl near me said she didn't want her Icecream anymore. I was like yaayyy~ than put my whole face in the Icecream and started eating it. Than I started eating another next to me. It tasted like vanilla, orange and lemon flavors. The guy next to me pointed out how excited I got around the food. I said it tastes really good than suddenly freezer from DBZ came through the door. Freezer told me it was going to take revenge because I defeated Vageta in the dream the day before this dream. I was okay with it so I went outside.

I flew in the air and tried using flying kicks with my feet but my control was off. A DC pointed out my bad control and told the others I wasn't worth it. I was OK with that and flew to the ground. I squashed a DC as I hit the ground and tried to find his body under me but decided to stop because it was pointless. After that I recall listening to Lmrhone talking to someone about a old RPG anime game that was still fun to play on the dream views forum. I could see the characters looked like chibi anime characters. Woke up after that.

Morning of December 25, 2014. Thursday.



I am on a helicopter seemingly in early evening, though before sunset, with unfamiliar people (including the pilot), apparently all adult males of around thirty (though I have no focus on my own age). We are flying over the ocean. I notice several girls swimming in the ocean far below. Without paying much attention to my present circumstances, a young girl is soon seen hanging in the doorway of the helicopter, to my right but only half inside, somehow having come from the ocean far below, apparently by flying. Her facial expression is cheerfully mischievous though friendly. At this point, I notice there is no pilot (of whom had originally been on my right), yet I feel only mild concern. However, two seagulls ahead, one on each side, somehow seem to be guiding the helicopter back to land by their presence alone. I assume the girl is a shape shifter whose natural form is a seagull.

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Water Induction - Vestibular System Personification, female (subliminal summoning of young version of Zsuzsanna) - Parallel Autosymbolism; RFWS (Return Flight Waking Symbolism) with WEWS (Water Emergence Waking Symbolism) - RAS truncation (pilot vanishing) - Vestibular System Mediation (soft waking) - Emergent Consciousness Factor as flight symbol - right-sided waking symbolism while sleeping on my left side.

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LUCID DREAM # 9 - SECOND WILD SUCCESS

December 25, 2014: Megavitamin, 5-HTP, 8mg Galantamine + 500mg Choline: WILD #2: I am at a desk in an office or a classroom type setting. There is a dream character, an overweight, middle-aged caucasian man in a dark sweater sitting in a chair at the left corner of my desk facing to my right as I face him from my chair behind the desk. He seems not particularly intelligent and is essentially non-responsive when I try and engage him in conversation. He ignores me even when I throw a pencil at him and hit him in the chest. I direct my attention further into the room. There is a woman who looks like a teacher. She is standing to the left of a large, square “blackboard” which is really an LCD television. She holds a wood pointer in her right hand, but the screen, although illuminated, is blank. I wake. One of my shortest and least eventful LD's ever.

December 25, 2014: Non-Lucid: I am in the operating room with L. C. I am on the assistant’s side of the table. The disinterested surgeon is sitting in a chair in the room as we obtain hemostasis in anticipation of closing the mammoth chest (the size of an oil tank!) of the patient. There are lap pads stuffed everywhere inside the patient, maybe 20 - 30 or more. There are numerous arterial and venous bleeders on the chest wall, and the surgeon does not want us to use Weck clips on them. Despite this, upon discussion with L., I start applying Weck clips to some medium and large venous bleeders and one weak arterial bleeder by picking them up with a forceps. One of the exposed veins I pick up is very long, about 3 cm, white and sclerotic in appearance. I advise the circulating nurse that there are a shit-ton of laps in the patient, so she had better start counting early. I wake.

My dear mother in-law passed away in Nov 28, 2001, and her Birthday is Nov 29. I really wanted to wish my mother in-law ‘Happy Birthday’, in a lucid dream, the morning of Nov 29, 2014. I went through all my lucid dream preparations, mantras, and WBTB. My mantra was, “I will realize when I’m dreaming, and I will be with my mother in-law. Pull me out please! Hug time!” Here’s what happened.

In this dream I was driving my snowmobile across thin ice, and soon all the ice disappeared, and then I was driving on top of the water. I use to do this in my younger days, so I didn’t panic during the dream when the ice disappeared. I drove the machine up onto the shore near the canoe docks, and stepped off. Suddenly three sleeping bags appeared on the ground right beside me, the snowmobile disappeared, and then I was standing inside a room. I instantly became lucid, but there was one problem, I could only see out one eye! In an effort to improve clarity, I ripped a piece of carpet off the floor and rubbed it with my hands. My vision came back to my blind eye, and the clarity was decent.

There were about 10 people sitting chairs, all huddled together alongside a wall. They all had rain ponchos on with the hoods up over their heads, and I couldn’t see their faces. Nobody was looking at me, and then one fellow turned his head and looked at me, and when I looked back at him, he quickly looked away. Thinking back, he looked a lot like my mother in-law’s dad. Then I remembered my plan to meet with my mother in-law, so I called out her name loud and clear. To my surprise, one of the people sitting alongside the wall jumped up, pulled her poncho hood down, and ran over to me. It was my dear mother in-law! I haven’t seen my mother in-law in 13 years, and I was really taken back. I can’t even begin to describe what I saw and felt. My jaw dropped, she looked exactly the same, except she was about 50 years old (she passed at 60). I said, “You were sitting right there the whole time?” She gave me a pleasant smile, but didn’t say anything. I immediately hugged her and kissed her on the cheek, and told her, “I love you!” After that, I immediately woke up, but I was really wanted to stay and talk to her, and wish her Happy Birthday!

[This was my second time attempting SSILD after 4.5 hours sleep - this time it worked and I instantly became lucid]

I notice there's a TV beside my bed which is making noise - this shouldn't be, I must be dreaming, so I look at my palms to find that I am indeed. I find myself looking out over a beautiful, sunny, holiday beach. The clarity of vision is astounding - I take off my glasses and find it is even clearer without them! The water is sparkling, and there's plenty of happy people swimming in the sea and having a great time. I ask a woman where the girl I'm looking for is. (One of my dream goals is to find a girl I met in a previous LD - she said she was depressed and ran off home without saying anything else. I thought I could learn about myself by finding and conversing with her.) The woman points "over there" and offers to give me the girl's number, which she transfers to me telepathically. She also mentions the name "Rebecca" which I assume is the girl's name.
I now find myself in the lounge of my house, overlooking the garden. Again, it is a nice Sunny day. I think I better look for my phone so I can call Rebecca and ask where she is. I go around the corner, expecting to find it there, and indeed it is. I pick it up, and immediately lose interest in finding the Rebecca. Instead I want to go outside into the Sun and meditate, as I have been meaning to try in a lucid dream for quite some time.
I had trouble meditating - I was a bit anxious because I knew that in real life I hadn't put on white noise, which I normally do, and I could be easily woken. I was also anxious that my brother would come in from his night out and wake me up. Annoyingly, he appeared in the dream. I tried to explain to him I was lucid dreaming, and to please try not wake me up. He got pissed off and punched me in the shoulder a few times, then eventually left.
I didn't want to try meditating again in case he came back, so I went down the steps and onto the grass, which was greatly detailed. Video-game-esque flora sprouted up from the grass. I was still struggling to control my mild anxiety, and as the flora grew, it changed from pretty looking flowers to nasty looking weeds as I tried to bring the anxiety under control. The flowers ended up as massive Sunflowers, which I was very pleased with. They then started to sprinkle water onto the grass, which became flooded, just like it does when there is heavy rain. The water flows down the first garden, over the wall and into the downstairs garden. I want to make a raft to float down in, and proceed to do so, but before I get the chance to try it, I find myself walking down the stairs to the bottom garden.

Then a loud clink sound wakes me up... Urgh.... looks like Dad has gotten up and is moving about downstairs... If only I had put white noise on, I could have stayed asleep....

#394 - DILD - 5:55AM

I am walking in the street with someone. We watch a strange looking UFO fly down and hover over someone. Then, in a flash of light, they disappear. I say to the person how amazing this is. I just can't believe I witnessed a UFO abduction right in the middle of downtown. I notice how everything turned from night to daytime really quickly and I feel like I am missing something important. My thought is interrupted by someone ushering me into a building. [Something] happens inside and then we are ushered out. When I turn around, the building dissolves into my old house; the first one I bought with my ex-wife. Someone tells me everything (the UFO abduction and building) was just holograms an illusions. I laugh that I got punked so hard and watch the next person get it. Things happen differently this time and the 'abductee' walks down the street toward the building. I follow closely behind the hologram and laugh with my 'friend' as I watch my hand pass into it. It's like a ghost but the more I play with it the more solid it becomes. I think maybe the hologram passed over an actual person. I only recall random and fleeting images next (sexy time with wife?), but I somehow end up in that old house talking to my wife.

I wonder why we decided to buy this house. I really don't want to live here after-all. Then I quickly recall that I have had this exact dream before. As I nose plug, my wife is telling me something. I am not listing because I am trying to make sense of why I feel like I am slightly blowing through. Am I really dreaming? I do several more nose plugs, but the last one is more deliberate and I blow cleanly through. I am dreaming! I don't want to be here at all so I immediately leave my wife and head out the back door. As I cross the yard, I feel guilty for just running off. I wonder if there is something important there that I should resolve. I pull myself over a privacy fence and, for fun, climb a tree. I see my old neighbors house and try peaking in the window. I wonder if they would recognize me if they saw me. Ridiculous. I ponder the house issue while up there. I admit that I did enjoy some memories living in that house and I do miss it in a way. I decide to climb down and resolve this. There is a long winding limb the leads down to the trunk of the tree and I enjoy extra upper arm strength as I move along it like a monkey. I jump down and float toward the street in the front. Someone is growing beans along the road and I have to step over them. I find this curious, but decide to ignore it.

I get down the street and see the house. It now looks like every window has been removed. I can see bare 2X4s and insulation around the edges. I feel like there is some meaning here, but I can't imagine what it is. I enter the house, determined to play this dream out. I act like I am considering buying this house a second time. I begin looking things over, forgetting about the windows already. I notice the laminate wood flooring is still there and looks really nice. I move down the hall and see my wife and son. I pass them and enter the front bathroom. In waking life, I installed ceramic tile over concrete slab, but here there is several layers of linoleum over plywood. I can see a lot of water damage around the bathtub as I peel the edges back. In fact, the wood feels soft and moist even now. My son gets in the way of what I am doing and I have to move him out of the way. I stop and ponder things now. I decide this house really isn't so great after-all and the emotions I get from it feel resolved. It's time to let this place go. Feeling like I accomplished something, I get up and head outside while my wife and son follow behind. I feel like I have been dreaming a really long time now, and consider waking myself up so I won't forget things. I really think I could wake up at will, but it's been a long time since I have had a nice long lucid so I decide to leave it alone for now.

I see our Nissan down the street and tell my wife that I will race her. I hope she agrees because I know that I am still dreaming and I will impress her with my ability to teleport. She nods and I let it happen. There is a surging streak of light and color and I find myself sitting in the car. Unfortunately, it's not a complete teleport because, I can see two realities. Yes, I am sitting in the car but I can also see the place that I was standing layered over. I look over at my wife standing next to me and this brings me completely back to start. I stand up, feeling a little embarrassed. As we resume walking to the car, I tell her how I almost teleported and ask her what it all that looked like to her.
She just says, "It looked really weird."
I nod and say, "I bet it did. I was really there for a second."

Now, at the car, I get caught up with trying to manually put my son in his car seat. None of the straps and buckles are working right and I spend a lot of time fumbling with things. My wife is trying to help me, but it's just not working right. The dream destabilizes and I decide it's fine to go ahead and wake up now.

I was inside a room in our house with my mom. For some reason I had three white pills inside my mouth. I spit it out and asked my mom if it was dangerous to take more than one of the pills I had inside my mouth. She said i was worrying too much about it and that I was fine. When I got out of the room I saw my younger brother in another room. He was supposedly using the bathroom with the door open but said I invaded his privacy.

I turned away and told him I wasn't even looking at him. Than ran upstairs because my older brother started chasing me saying I did something wrong. When I got upstairs into my parents room there were plants all around. I hid somewhere in the room from my brother's sight and he got uninterested and left. I felt good about this and decided to go into the living room.

After that I recall eating dinner with my family. We were eating a poisonous scorpion. By mistake I ate some of the poison and spit the meat out. My mom seemed annoyed with the fact that I made that mistake.

The next thing I recall is going to the kitchen and looking at the living room. My mom came next to me and a guy I thought was Kiro stepped out of a portal in the living room. He said since I couldn't learn the lesson someone like a diety or a goddess would have to teach me and than my mom said it was a good idea. The dream than shifted and it was now the morning. To my right side there was a huge cemetary with white tombstones. I wasn't inside it though and it had a small gate in front of it.

To my left, in front of me and behind me was a huge crowd of people all dressed up in traditional dresses and regular clothing. I felt like it was a huge gathering party or amusement park with rides somewhere. People were laughing and talking happily as they walked to the destination spot.I was running through the crowd but not so fast looking at the cemetery. I felt like the guy I thought was Kiro was invisible but still around so it felt like we were racing each other for fun.

But there came a point when I felt like he was gone. So I went further into the crowd and saw a orange haired girl in a traditional dress. She was telling her friends how beautiful the dress was. The cemetery wasn't to the right now so I went to that part of the crowd.People were getting ready to play a game. There were small cartoon looking pigs around too and one of them kept bumping into me.Also, the place became a big room.

I pushed the pig to the side and found a small baby pig the size of a hamster. I wanted to play the game others were playing but felt bad because the baby pig looked sick. A girl told me to put its mouth to a part of the mom pig. But to my surprise when I tried to help it get milk pee came out. Lots of it started flooding the baby's mouth and when I tried to hold it the other way it peed all over my chest.

I was disgusted and didn't want to be covered in pee when I talk to Kiro or others in the dream. I went into a room that had a bathroom inside it. It felt like I was at a expensive hotel now. I took off my clothes and was going to step into the showers but stopped when I heard a person come into the room. It was a Asian lady and her husband.

I was afraid that if I stepped into the shower she would sense me. A scene flashed in front of me of the Asian lady seeing a outline in the shower. Than she screamed and told her husband. When it stopped I just decided to go inside. But I was stopped when a tall oval gold mirror came in front of me. I was freaked out cause I had pink marks on my chest. I just wanted to take a shower so i could be clean. In the mirror I could see four tall girls that were naked around one guy sitting on the bed behind me. I decided I would just run into the shower but woke up.

Teruru

I appeared on my bed and could hear voices. I thought about Kiro and how I wanted to see him. Than I appeared on a small island. On the sand there was a small fluffy dog and the name Teruru was on the sand. There was a small footprint too. A guy was telling me it was important to pay attention to teruru. Than I appeared on my bed again. I heard voices all around me and bit my finger to see if I was still in the dream. I was so I decided to set the intention to wake up after closing my eyes and hiding my face behind a pillow.(I was scared)Than I woke up.

From the Morning of December 20, 2014.

Woke: 6:30

I am walking down the street from the YMCA. My dad is in his truck circling around the area. I keep walking along the sidewalk and all of a sudden I realize that I'm dreaming! I turn around and I can see my dad's truck parked against the curb, but my dad isn't by the car...it's a different guy. I walk toward him and I realize he wants to fight as he runs toward me. I smile at this, as this would be my first dream fight ever. I get a little nervous though as I see him jump several feet into the air to come down and slam a monster punch into me. I jump without thinking and join him in the air, throwing a punch. We both miss and when I land I quickly spin around throwing another punch. But this time it feels like my arm is super heavy, and my punch is being thrown very slow. He grabs my arm and throws it out of the way. I try throwing another punch and it is also slow.

Then I am in my house in the living room and luckily still lucid. I rub my hands together and tell myself that this is my dream body, my physical body is in bed so I can do anything. I am trying to fly which I have failed to do in the past so I needed to reaffirm to myself that I was just dreaming. I remember that I fell asleep in a chair sitting on it the opposite way, so this was indeed my dream body. (That was a false memory, as I was in bed) I remembered it was easier to fly if you jumped off something. I ran upstairs to my balcony and got a running start and jumped off. I stuck my arms out in front of me and was able to float but not fly. I crashed into the floor at the end and while it didn't "hurt" I felt a little pressure on my head where it hit the floor and it was more uncomfortable than it hurt. I zoomed back up the stairs (literally zoomed...like ran at superhuman speed) and tried again...and got the same result. My dad stepped into the house and I got an idea. Maybe if I left the door open I could just pick up speed and fly out. So I put the door on its magnetic door holder and went back upstairs. I jumped off again but the same thing happened. Then I decided I should find a girl. (I always do this if I can't complete something ) I decided I would create a false memory of them moving to my neighborhood and I walked outside. I picked a house across the street for them to move into, but decided that a house farther down the street would do better because IWL people were actually moving out. I "remembered" that a hot chick had just moved in and I visualized it. I started walking down the street and looked over at the front of the house across from me. Detective Lassiter from Psych was at the doorway, and some girl with red eyes and who was demonic was on her knees talking to him. I got worried because I was afraid that seeing the demonic chick would cause bad things to happen. She turned around and stared at me, so I quickened my walking pace down the street. I got a couple steps along before I woke up...

Next time I have decided that when I fly, I need a bigger space. Not a cramped area like my house. I also need to jump from a higher platform. Mostly I just need the space though because that way I would be able to fly up instead of having to direct my flight downwards. I think having to fly down was the cause for me not being able to fly because I would hit the ground.

Also enjoy my ultra-old avatar picture from before the days of my dream-self. I can't seem to get that character to look right and the animation hates me.

Here is what I can recall:

Several nights ago I had some dream where all of the buildings in my university had some how been stacked together into this huge conglomerated tower. There was something to do with a math class as well.


I also recall a nonlucid dream from two nights ago. It involved some kind of magical battle. I had to wear armor made out of 'solid water' that had this odd surface that was solid yet had small waves moving through it. This was because the person that I was to fight had miniature flamethrowers on their arms.

When the fight began we were on this huge covered bridge, made entirely out of wood. I actually had three opponents, the middle one, a husky female with the twin flamethrowers and a pair of presumably male guards (covered in heavy steel armor) carrying large black and silver halberds.

I became partially lucid during the fight and was able to slow down time, particularly when someone was swinging at me. I also seemed to have power over the weapons and, once the guards were disarmed, I was able to call their halberds to me (see thor's hammer).
The fight climaxed when the main antagonist, the woman with the flamethrowers pulled a pair of knives. I had been able to damage the flamethrowers at some point during the fight. We went in close and I tried to put her into a lock. She was struggling to stab me and I was trying to choke her. I lost the dream and woke up.



The night before last, I had a semi lucid dream where I was flying and running at ridiculous speeds through my home town. My good olde fashioned fire jets at work here.

The town seemed a little re-arranged though. I recall there being all of these black and white wooden targets that I would bounce off of. The dream kind of had the feel of a sonic the hedgehog stage with the wooden targets being like the springs.

The dream ended with my attempting a Kamehameha, then realizing how unstable the dream was and making an effort to stabilize. I was in a soccer field. I ripped up some grass trying to stabilize but it didn't work.

Last night was pretty good though. Some dialogue with Manei. (I love how when I try and LD with things on my mind, I don't get sh*t. But when I'm on break from lucid dreaming, I get ten minutes of lucidity with her. So I wound up being kind of quiet and not particularly engaged within this dream.)

I can recall being in a huge building. It had a very bland, sterile feel like a school or hospital. I was waiting in line with dream characters to talk to some lady seated at a desk, with the feel of... well a hospital check-in. I took note of how diverse the crowd seemed to be. age, race, gender and clothing all seemed to vary greatly.

I then saw Manei in the crowd and instantly became lucid. She cut through the line, heading down a secondary hallway. I came with her. One of the things I recall taking note of was how tall Manei really is (Well she's been taller than me since we met, but this time around she seemed even taller than usual). IWL, I'm about 5'8", so lets assume my height carries over into the dream. I'd probably put her at around 6'2".

We went around another corner into another long hallway, this one lined with doors. The hallway had a dark, creepy feeling to it, like someone or something was following us. We then came to a stairwell that went up and down at least three floors each way. There was a window and we could see that we were in a massive building complex that stretched for miles. Outside, the weather was overcast and it was raining. Occasionally, I heard a roll of thunder.

We sat down together on the top step, giving us a good view of the dreary environment outside.

Last night, I went to sleep with the idea of manifesting my own persistent dream characters into the dream world. I'm not really sure why, my mind was just sort of wandering, and that's what I drifted off on.

So I decided to bring this up with her. I also got the inkling that somehow, that line of people that I was in earlier was a manifestation of the dream characters that I wanted to create. She didn't seem very interested in the idea, saying that it would be a distraction from dreaming, and that having too many dream characters/guides can be chaotic. I told her that I had only two characters in mind that I wanted to manifest, and that I felt that they were important to the balance of my dream world. They were meant to represent aspects of my personality that don't come about all too often in my dreams. She then replied that if I felt that I had to, I could manifest these characters, but she made me promise that if she wanted just me and her, I would let it happen.

At one point we started holding hands. I said something about stabilizing the dream, but I think we were just happy to be together again after all the crap that's happened. I think she was telling me that I should come back to concentrating on lucid dreaming. I told her that I would.

She then told me some story about technology and spiritual advancement. I don't remember the details, but it was about how technology can be helpful if used in moderation, but if you use it too much it can rule your life and you can lose touch with those around you. For some reason the characters in her story were represented with a couple of lego people she had in her back pocket.

We were looking at our reflections in the window. I noticed Manei was wearing the headband that I gave her, and that the emblem was actually correct this time around. Funny, I hadn't noticed it until then.

I began to really lose touch with the dream. Manei became a male version of herself and took off her shirt. This had something to do with her practicing appearing as a boy. I was trying to concentrate on making her look better but she still looked sort of distorted and disproportionate.

As Hemlock Grove's Roman, me and Peter have just entered this old abandoned tower, and I'm showing off some of the tricks I've picked up since the last time we saw each other. I turn myself into a cloud of bats, thinking of this as something I'd learned from that one previous dream, and I come out of it high on the wall, looking down at Peter watching me, able to hold myself up against the vertical wall just by gripping with my hands - it's not completely effortless, but it's still easy. It's a rush. I'm having so much fun showing off with Peter, I want to laugh. This makes me start thinking something about connections with people, and then there's a memory gap.

The next scene I remember is in a different part of the same building, the memory gap only lasted for about one or two changes of scene. I'd climbed up into the metal rafters and I've been heading up in a spiral, and I've just come across a closed door; but I'm not playing around anymore, I'm in a hurry, either chasing or being chased by something. The door has no handle on this side, so I hammer on it and shout, "Open the door. Open the door, mom!" (I was thinking of someone specific by 'mom', but whoever she was, it wasn't my IRL mother or the mother of the character I'd started the scene as - I'm not sure I'm still playing his role by this point.) Door still doesn't open, and I'm not surprised. I step back and look at it. There's no way to open it from this side, just a keyhole big enough to look through - I can see some light through it, and I have the feeling I'm meant to look through it, and that thought pisses me off. I grip the side of the door, forcing my fingers into the gap between the door and the frame, and I wrench it open.

The other side of the door leads to somewhere else completely, unconnected to the building I was just in. It's incredibly vivid, nothing like the dream I'd been having up until this point - which hadn't seemed un-vivid in any way, but I'm thinking of this as a completely different way of seeing things. I'm in a stone hallway, brownish-yellowish stones, filled with many doors, all of them wooden, arched, narrow, dull red. I still have that sense of being in a hurry, and I immediately go to open the first door to my left. But as I do, I hear a woman's voice - the mother I'd referred to before - shouting this strangled "No!" and I hear the sound of a door closing, and footsteps in a hurry. And then I'm awake.

(Really awake, none of the usual transition, just footsteps and "No!" and suddenly in my bed with my eyes open. Was convinced I'd been woken up by the actual front door and actual footsteps - which is not unusual, I sleep while other people are up - but no, just the dream. Back to sleep.)

As Constantine (rhymes with turpentine), I've been in a police interrogation room for a while now when they let in this elegant older woman to see me, calling her "Mrs. Constantine." She's supposed to be my mother, which is a lie of course, my mother being long dead, but I instantly play along with the act. Memory gap, and then I'm being put in a holding cell, and I try to convince someone I pass along the way to have the police find that woman and pick her up, quick. Not sure I made myself clear, though, I'd been passing out, having a hard time staying conscious. I can see the brown smoke of her spell wrapping around me. Blacked out.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I had a classroom scene, so I went lucid and walked out. I didn't have any particular destination in mind aside from getting out of the school, and the first door that I reached for took me into the kitchens - still meant to be part of the school. The next door I can find is a refrigerator door, and I give that a shot - no good, I open it and find food inside. I think to myself that this is probably too strong an association to bother trying again, so I remove the refrigerator from the wall. There's a white wooden door behind it. This one opens onto a satisfyingly different scene - rolling green hills and a mountain in the distance that I mentally compare to Mt. Fuji from its size and the way it dominates the landscape, though otherwise they don't look alike.

I walk along a paved road leading towards that mountain. At one point I come across a house, and the road divides so that one path leads up a slope to that building and down again to rejoin the main road on the other side, and I'm admiring the organic shape of both the road and the house. It's a white one-story building composed of several rounded rooms, with a reddish-brown shingled roof with little spires over each rounded room. There were quite a few plants that I was admiring, and gardening tools, but I knew this was going to be too much detail for me to remember, and a lot of it didn't have any IRL comparisons I could easily make, to make it easier to remember. I focus on a couple woven baskets lying on a bench, with lids with little spires like the ones on the roof, the last thing I focus on as the path leads me back down to the main road.

The path leads me into a town, or a small city maybe, starting in a little square with two clocks standing on black iron poles. Both of them show the same time, 3:00, with the second hand pointing down at the 6; a bell tolls, and then they both run backwards, until every hand points to the top, midnight exactly.

The path leads on to another square, this one with a big brass bell. There are a fair number of people in the streets around me now, but I'm only paying attention to one - a man standing beneath that bell. He calls me over. He's this older man, and I mentally compare him to Mister Rogers, that sort of friendly and wise and harmless impression. His speech is slurred and very deliberate, as if he has a hard time forming English words. He says quite a few things about me heading for the mountain, and preparing for that, and he mentions K., an old IRL friend who I haven't gotten in touch with for a long time. I'm a little frustrated by knowing I'm not going to be able to remember all these details when I wake up, and I'm having a hard time picking and choosing which parts to focus on, but I hold up a hand to stop him and ask about K., ask him to clarify - is he saying I need K. with me at the mountain, that I can't do it alone? He's surprised by the question. He says, no, you can go on alone. And he compares me to "a dry martini: high in the hand, but hard to keep it." Okay, that's suitably convoluted phrasing that I'm definitely not going to remember that unless I wake up now. I choose to wake up so I can remember at least some of what he's said. I regret this decision almost instantly.

Wow, two nights in a row of remembering dreams! yay! I wrote in my daily journal last night, so maybe that really is helping.
I'm thinking of finally changing the font color of lucids since they're kinda hard to read. But I don't want to go through and change every single one, so I'm not sure. Too lazy.

I was in the bathroom at a huge hotel taking a shower when my hand started to feel funny. I looked down and saw that one of my fingers was short. The top half was missing and it was a stub. I was dreaming. It felt so real and vivid that it took me awhile to believe that. I was really excited so I stared at my hands to stabilize and then stared at the wall. I could see so much detail in everything. I went outside the bathroom and into the main lobby of the hotel. The ceiling was about 8 stories high so I decided to fly up. I spread my arms and began "swimming" up. I went really fast.(Usually it takes me a long time to get high.. haha get high.. you know what I mean). I made it to the ceiling and then floated back down. I wasn't sure what to do next so I decided to go outside and explore. Then I lost it.

I was in high school in Ms. Red-Head's English Class(I forgot her name. The senior year teacher). Some girl in the class had written a book that we were discussing. We were sitting in a huge circle of desks and I was next to Niki, who also wrote a book. I got rid of my copy of the book we were looking at because, frankly, I just didn't give a shit. I tossed Niki's book across the room to these two girls because I wanted more people to hear her book instead of the other girl's. The teacher found out that someone had tossed a book across the room and asked who it was. Several students pointed at me and I raised my hand, looking guilty. The teacher then told me to gather up my stuff and choose a room to sit quietly in. I chose a room that was connected to the classroom. I was actually quite happy to leave the class. There was a couch in the room and I began to set up my computer on it. I realized I didn't have a copy of the book we were discussing.
"Can I have a book?" I asked.
"That will be 3 dollars and 14 cents," the teacher replied.

-fragment at my house offering Dani if she wants bagels and cream cheese because she was hungry

-at some point I heard God's voice saying, "Come with me."

I wake up from a dream that plays in my room, but I'm not. I look around and see that the mirror on the right-side wall is not the one from my dream. I look to my left and see no one.
Soon I'm fighting away a man that's trying to chain me up. I start to slip away.
I wake up again in a crate that's poorly chained. I look around and see I'm in the back of a moving car. There's mountains and trees all around me. A black paved road is beneathe me.
I think of jumping out. But my arms are tied.
I see to my left a field of grass. Tall grass that's inaccessible.
Somehow I manage to get out of the crate and land in the field.
And I remember feeling free.
I'm dashing through the field, like a field mouse. Panic is such an understatement. I'm petrified.
From afar I see a tiny cabin. Involuntarily I run towards it.
I get to it. I look inside its reaches. Nothing but a table and a plate.
My mom is coming from the right of me. Talking about me missing my dog's funeral. Screaming now. I run away and don't turn back.
There's a beautiful man at a gas station. He's pumping gas. Naked. I look down and see I am too. Coincidence?
I walk up to him. He stares at me. His eyes glossy and dark, as his hair. Then I look over his shoulder and see a crate with chains hanging from it. I freeze and he grabs me. Kisses my shoulder and then my neck. Telling me I'm his. All his. And I surrender, in his arms.
This time I sit in the passenger seat. We drive for long hours.
Then before us the road lifts and so do we.
He dissolves, somehow. I just watch.
I remember thinking of my only chance at love is gone. And now I'll be alone again.
For an unspoken reason I end up in my room. The walls are red instead of blue. This slightly pisses me off because I hate red, but this time, I like it. I don't know why but I start to like where I am. As if this red tint is enchanted.
I ignore everything and stare at the floor.
My grandma bursts into my room, through the wall, the red wall. She's covered in purple. As though someone painted over my blue wall with red, and she's the outcome.
She speaks softly. Words I can't recall. And suddenly I feel calm.
I lie down.

There's a bus. An ocean. Music.
Waves jump from the sea. Fishes flop. The sky is hidden by a bed of clouds.
I see my best friend in the distance. He's on an island, looking at shorts. He decides upon the black ones, as opposed to the red ones. I scream. He doesn't hear me. A shark is creeping up behind him. I scream but it sounds like nothing. My eyes float away, away from what happened.
I'm in a boat now. A boat that moves itself. I have a cell phone. I'm taking pictures of what's around me. A mountain I see. A few palm trees. An irregular cloud. I put my phone into a bag. Tie it up. Place it in my backpack.
I see a few old ladies. Arguing over black shorts. I see Daniel, my best friend. He's okay. I smile.
I ask him what's happening. He points to the shorts. Just points. I ask him what's wrong. He only points.
I go to see what's the fuss. The ladies scream. Their screams make buzzing appear in my ears. I can't understand their screams. They only hurt.
I walk away from the fuss and back to Daniel. At least I thought. He's no longer there. I only see his foot-steps. They recede to where the shore breaks, into the ocean.

Last night I've had a lucid dream!

The dream begins. I'm in void and an evil voice speaks to me. I don't know what it says, but it terrifies me. Struggling I manage to avoid to wake up, fighting against the rapid and intense vibrations I usually feel on my physical body when I enter a dream lucidly or when I'm being kicked out from it.
Then I understand: "I'm this voice". Fear stopped.
I was still nowhere, but this didn't terrify me. I believe I've reconciled myself with an ancient part of my brain, that part which generates primordial fears, such as the fear of getting out of known places (so also entering lucid dreams).

Then I decide to meet Tesla. He just flashed in front of my eyes to disappear immediatly. Then I was in a gloomy living room, with very few furnishment, only a baroque moquet. The room was sorrounded by a black space. I try to fly, but it seems so unnatural, I don't feel my body suspended, I still feel it in my bed, though it seems quite distant. I go to a glass door and on the other side I see a girl I once saw in the library of my department and she says me "The demonstration of the Zeros' Theorem is pretty useless, hypothesis immediatly imply thesis, it's easy to visualize". I agree blamefully with her.
I stay in the void for some other time, without surrendering to the fear which usually takes me ("Am I staying in the dream too much??") then, I don't remember how, I wake up.



The dream has been quite long and I've achieved good results. What I want to do next time (so this night!!) is to focus on stability and on completly abandon the feeling of my material body.

In this dream I was lying on my back at the front steps of an apartment, facing the bright blue sky, soaking up the hot sun, and just simply enjoying a beautiful summer day. Then I heard my daughter’s voice right beside me, “There are fluffy, whooping cranes flying above us!” I instantly became lucid upon hearing my daughters voice, and sure enough, a flock of whooping cranes were flying overhead. There was one in particular that was flying very low right above us. It was completely white, except for the ends of its wings, which were black. I looked at my dear daughter and said, “Let’s fly up to see them!” She cautiously replied, “Okay, but I can’t fly too high.” She stood on the edge of steps, watching me carefully over her shoulder, with her luminously beautiful and bright blue/green eyes. Her eyes almost seemed to be glowing! Before we launched, I told her I loved her, and she gave me a little smile. She seemed a little nervous about flying. We then flew up into the sky, and unfortunately my vision faded. The last thing I saw was my daughter flying right alongside me, 20 feet away. I immediately entered this wonderful experience into my dream journal.