lucid

My gates were opened and i thought that its so strange... i made RC. Thought to transformed into a dragon again. summon pills in my pocket. There were 4 pills and i put them in the mouth. I ate two and must chew others. I felt the transformation. There was a big mirrow and i went to look at myself. I was a woman with the lizard head. I thought that partial transformation is also good. I flew away and was flying above the sea and suddenly landed on the bank. There were some guys and i went with them to cafe.

Journal Entry Lucid #19 Dream,Lucid, (Comments)
Background: I slept early, grandma woke me up later around 9. I then gave her medicine and went to bed.

Dream fragment 2 time 9:20pm-unkown"":
I was using a Ipad app that can let you zoom on the earth. I zoomed in and I see the city then the road then I zoomed in and i see a network of more cities and more roads. I zoomed in infinite times and I kept getting more and more. I was no longer using and I pad but my hands. I thought this is strange and I realize it was a dream.

I realized it was a dream. I ended up in one of the cities that I zoomed in at. I started rubbing my hands. I see this military general. He pointed at me. I started pointing somewhere else to distract him. It worked he looked away and started walking away. I thought haha it worked now I could go do what I want. He turned and said, "wait a minute, get him!" He commanded his tanks to point at me. I knew they were no match for me and I didn't want to start a dream war. As a tank started driving towards me. I flicked my hands aggressively and it exploded. I started flying and I saw a lake. I just wanted to compete task so I started flying away. They have already declared war, but I didn't want to fight. I see a higher ranked general show up and he hand shook the other one. I flew down and tried to shake his hand. He looked at me and I woke up The dream was in more details but I got up recalled my dream and went back to sleep without writing it out.

Journal Entry Lucid #18 Dream,Lucid, (Comments)
Background: So this is a second LD on the same night. I did a wake back to bed. I think I went to sleep around 3 o clock and woke up around 4 close to five. Well I ate some food, banana PB sandwich. I then meditated for ten min before going to bed. I had some weird dream where I tickled a lizard and it transformed into a monkey. I awoken briefly and went back to sleep.

Dream fragment 2 from time: unknown"":
I was in the UK or I thought I was. I sat next to a car to listen to a monk teach, I don't remember any of this part though. I hear someone talking. I thought I need money to get back home. I looked for an ATM. I found one but I realized I need a card to do a transaction. I see a lot of people from my Calc III class walking around. The ATM machines turned into a test taking desks. I see people on the computer. I went back to hear the monk's lectures and he was no longer there. I see people taking test in the dark. I looked for head of administrator of the test so I could take test. She told me to wait and told her students to turn off their computers for us so they won't distract us. They turned it off. The flat screen tv, the computers. She, I will call her head women, took a selfie with her students. I over hear these guys talking about a movie they finished. One guy said, "wow could you believe the ending?", the other responded, "yeah what a twist in the plot". "she got killed in her dreams and she died in real life". This man popped out of nowhere and gave head women an apple, black ugly apple. She ate it. The movie people said that is exactly what happened in the movie. She realized that she was dreaming and she was about to die. I thought that is strange it would most likely be my dream not hers. I started backing up. She looked at me and said it is your FAULT. I kept backing up and I see a group of girls that opposed her, they claimed to be on my side.

I now completely recognized that it was my dream. I started rubbing my hands to stabilize my dream as the girls fought each other. I didn't like all the negativity, and I wanted to use my new superpower telekinesis. I tried to levitate a girl, nothing. I tried again but this time I didn't doubt myself and she started floating. I was in a t-shaped hallway. I took off my shoe so that I could have a stabilization point. I felt the cold floor and it helped stabilize the dream. I then turned around and saw all theses people fighting, all girls btw. With a gesture of my hand flick, one at a time they levitated, about 15 people. I kept flicking my hands and they all levitated, even head women. One girl defined me and floated back down, I said uhh uhh uhh and I levitated her back up. I was happy that more than one person/object can be lifted and can be individually manipulated. I then wanted them out of the hallway. Very gently i opened the door with my mind and took them out.

I see these guys at the end of a hallway and one guy threaten me. I said let's make a lesson out of him. I see a bunch of male rushing out of the room scared. I was in the middle. I stopped everybody at once and levitated them. I saw that I was doing harm when I saw two guys in crunches struggling. I gently lowered them. I couldn't find the guy that threaten me, so I took everybody out of the building gently again. I then went inside and saw a scared man, big bearded man. I thought I could kill him, but then I changed my mind because it is a dream so why should I kill him. I then started flying I doubted myself for a split second and fell, slid across some Japanese building then I gained my flight again. I then remembered what I wanted to do and there was a park right next to me as well. As I was flying I hear a beautiful song being sang. I felt my eyes tearing up as I thought about death as such a beautiful thing as this. I started singing along and I went to the park. Since I didn't stabilize again I woke up.

Journal Entry Lucid #17 Dream,Lucid, (Comments)
Background: I meditated before going to bed.

Dream fragment 1 from 8:10pm-12:53am"":
I was being transported by a sponge bob mobile. At first an actual mobile than I was just flying. It felt weird and euphoric. I see houses, I see mist everywhere. A little sprinkle of water was falling from the sky. And somehow it clicked.

I realized it was a dream. I awoken in my house, grandma's room. It was still night time. I started rubbing my hands to stabilize the dream. I hear a voice say, "One thing is real to you". I thought real? what like the spinning top from inception? I felt like it was talking about my RC and stabilization technique. I walked to the living room, I see my dream grandmother praying. I wanted to feel loved, so I went and hugged her. She tells me you didn't sleep at all, you should get some sleep. I kinda laughed at that in my head, I thought if only she knew what I am now capable of(since it was a dream). I then went to the garage. I see a huge fridge in the middle of the garage. I thought I could turn that into a portal. I wanted to go see Morpheus in the white room to practice telekinesis. I opened it and I see this hot model chick in Alaska or somewhere cold with a beer can the size of her body, like the advertisements. I closed it right away as to not get seduced.

I then remembered all those failed attempts at telekinesis because I want Morpheus to teach me. I then thought I could practice here. I turned and I see my friend TO. He was just observing me. I extended my arm and pointed at an object. I cringed and flexed my muscle to make it levitate. Nothing. I quickly got the doubt, by telling my self to imagine it as if it was easy. I then extended my arm and pointed at the backpack. It just floated towards me. The feeling was strange, it felt like the object was an extension of my arm. I felt the object; back and forth, up and down were just like moving an arm. I then turned and saw a luggage and I wanted to pick up two objects. I felt doubt that I could do it, but I said I could do it and it floated with the flick of my finger. I had two objects floating independently. I started moving one forwards faster than the other. I noticed my friend looking at me. I thought for some reason he is noticing that I am losing lucidity. I started rubbing my hands, of course objects fell. A female came inside the garage and she needed help putting on a glove. My friend looked at me as if I should help her. I thought I get a lot of help from DC, so why not. I go up to her and I started putting on the glove for her. It was a very strange glove. Green highlights, futuristic looking. While doing this I thought this happens a lot before I wake up, distractions. I woke up.

I fell back asleep around 8:30 am. And I had a dream that I was seemingly no longer an alcoholic but able to have fun and party if I wanted too. Then the dream spun into a divergence of reality and obvious non reality- my hallway filled up with water and the bottom dropped out to make it a short pool. I stood looking at the water, feeling a negative presence. I looked up and saw a demon that had black eyes and tried to say something to me but in anger that I was being deceived I yelled at it to go away. "You are a deceiver!, You have no control over me! Get OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" "YOU are Simply a thing of my mind- NOW DISAPPEAR!" And I blew it into dust with my mouth. I then wanting to prove to my self the utter silliness of the situation belly flopped into the pool, and the water felt like condensed air but not wet like water and I levitated myself a few inches from it. I realized the significance of the dream- that I could speak out, when before my voice would become muted and I couldn't hear my self shout. I gained some sort of power this way, mental or spiritual in some way. Between this and the next dream sequence I tried to wake my self up but I couldn't pull myself through to consciences and saw my physical body trying to separate from my spiritual body. It was not going to happen so I let myself slip back into dreaming. Next I remember realizing that I had been on some sort of wild drug and alcohol binge that I could not remember. I had sewed the sides of my arms like I had been sutured for a wound. I realized that this was bad, that I had been completely gone mentally when this happened. I went to my husband and said I know something happened but I cannot remember using or what I did what did I do? He explained to me that at first I was happy and energetic, almost crazy- thinking I could fly and making sounds like a jet engine, then it turned dark. I closed my eyes and I could see flashes of memory almost like circus posters first of the fun and manic episode and then the darkness that took over. He shivered and said that it was something special I could do that. He then said he would remove the stitches from my arm- my father called and I woke up.

I was tossed head long back into the insanity of a nonsensical dream seemingly out of nowhere.

I had my first lucid dream last night! Woo hoo! I was sitting in this cafe when it dawned on me that it wss a dream. I then made the dream more clear by stomping my foot on the ground, and used all the methods I know to stabilize a dream. Then, I went outside, where I spent a few minutes trying to fly. I finally started to levitate, and then I flew out over a city. After flying for a few minutes, I woke up. It was really fun though! I'm so glad I was able to do it.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I fell asleep slowly, keeping my awareness, and the plunge was so subtle, that I wasn't sure when I was already asleep or not and both worlds overlapped for a while. I was clearly already visioning a dream world, but every time I moved my hands to do a RC, I was still moving my "real" hands and not the dream hands. It took me a while to finalize the transition. And when I did, I still wasn't sure in what level of reality I was, because I got up from my dream bed and went to a balcony and clearly the world outside was a very large city and not my hometown, but it was so realistic in all its details and sensations, that I chickened at the thought of flying away from the balcony. I decided to do one more RC just to be on the safe side and not kill myself.
When I was absolutely sure, then I flew away over a 10-lane highway and for fun, landed on top of a big truck and surfed it.
I had no clear goal with the dream, so I let the story unfold.
My stunts attract some attention and I gather a group of misfits and adventurers who follow me as their leader. We become a rebel group on this futuristic mad max style world. Some day I meet a guy I don't fully trust, but he is a bad-ass with some skills and I spend some time with him, to see if he fits in our group. We hijack trucks with materials we can use, but we never hurt anybody. But he attacks a truck with a family and kills the parents of a kid and almost shoots the kid. Needless to say, I kick his ass and make sure he never hurts anyone again. Then I adopt the scared kid and take him to our base. We live in a semi-underground tunnel complex on the outskirts of the suburbs. I love this kid very much and make sure he grows up nicely and in a peaceful environment.
I guess he brings me into maternal mode, because I do much less adventures outside and have become more home-based. I even have a date with a guy and a friend helps me pick up a dress to go out that evening. I leave the kid with a lady who is not human. Her head is hairless and instead is covered in a thick brownish skin with round protuberances of different sizes. But she is the most trustworthy person around, very calm and serene.
This guy I'm going out with, he's like the Hulk, big and green. The babysitter suggest I should wear a green outfit to match, but I disagree, he might think I'm mocking him.

Date: 4/4/14 (Thu)
Total sleep: 6.5 Hours
Daytime Techniques: RCs, Visualization, Text Search
Lucid Techniques: Mantras, Meditative Visualization
Recall Techniques: Meditative Visualization Mantras
Fell Asleep: 10:00 pm
Dream 1 Title: Aimless wandering
Dream 1: I am walking up a low grassy hill with my wife. We are walking to the mall together. I am wearing a long black trench coat. **Jump** I am at the mall and I am in the kitchen area of a restaurant. Lisa from work is there. She asks me if I need help with anything and I say no. There are stainless steel cabinets and counters all around me. They are covered of boxes, cans, bottles and kitchen utensils. There is a large gray plastic trash bin, with wheels, right in front of me. I look in. There are a few boxes, and beneath them are a bunch of cookies. I see some cookie that are cupped, and in the depression is yellow filling. I know they are lemon and really want to eat some. I reach in to take some, but realize they are in the trash and that would be disgusting. I walk out thought a set of swinging doors and find myself in a local mall. I walk to my left, not paying too much attention to anything. There are people all around. I notice a pretty woman pushing a baby carriage and stop to look at the baby. She gives me a dirty look. I feel embarrassed. I quickly turn away and walk into the store to my right. Then I realize this isn’t a store but a daycare center. I know I shouldn’t be in there because you have to sign in before entering for security reasons. I quickly leave. **Jump** I am sitting in the sand of a beach, but I can’t see, hear or smell the ocean. It feels like I’m on a movie set. But, the sand feels nice. It is warm and very dry. Then I notice a bundle of sticks sticking out of the sand to my right. They are sticks which would be used for beef and chicken skewers at a Chinese restaurant. Then I see pieces of meat clinging to the sticks. I am disgusted. I look around and there are many more around me, sticking out of the sand. I realize I am sitting in the middle of a garbage dump. I jump to my feet and begin to walk away. The dream fades and I awake.
Dream 2 Title: Sleeping in a warehouse (**Lucid**)
Dream 2: I am in some kind of small warehouse. The floors and walls are cement. There are tables and chairs set up. There is a small stage. There are miscellaneous items (boxes, bins, boards, etc) that you may find in a warehouse pushed up against the walls. My wife and daughter are there. We find seats at a large round table (seats about 8 people) as more people start to come into the room. Everyone starts to take their seats. A woman comes in and goes up to the mic on the small stage. I realize she is a comedian. She walks out into the audience and is talking but I can’t make out what she is saying. She walks to our table and put’s her hand on my daughter’s shoulder. She gets up from her seat and walks with the woman. I assume she is going to go up on stage as part of the act, but instead the woman escorts her to another table. I’m confused by this. I realize I am sitting on a couch and I lay down on my side because I’m feeling tired. I see my wife get up, walk over to the table where my daughter is now sitting and sit next to her. Things start to fade out as I feel I am falling asleep. I open my eyes and the show is over. I am still lying down with a coat covering me. I look over my right shoulder and see Maggie (a woman I used to work with over 10 yrs ago). I say hi to her. She says Hi back but is looking at me funny because I am sleeping during a show. I sit up and look for my wife and daughter, but I realize I am now shirtless and only wearing athletic shorts. I see my wife and daughter about 20 feet away, they have their backs to me. I notice my daughter has much more hair than in RL, it is up in a ponytail and hangs to the back of her legs. Someone behind me playfully wraps his or her arms around my neck. I don’t know who it is. I move toward my wife and daughter and the person continues to hang on. My wife turns and smiles. The person lets go and I turn around. It is a young man who I don’t recognize (in the dream or RL). He is about my daughter’s age, with short red curly hair and lots of freckles on his face. Behind him a see a large metal sliding door which I know leads out of the building. Something is feeling strange about this situation. I walk to the door. Suddenly I have a shirt on. I know I was shirtless seconds ago, and I know something isn’t right. Then I remember I was awake in my bed just a little while ago, and having a lot of trouble falling back to sleep. I am lucid without doing a reality check. Everything around me, colors and details, become more vivid. I am surprisingly calm. (I completely forgot to stabilize) I grab the handle of the door and slid it open. There is an alley before me with a one story brick building to the left and a wooden stockade fence to the right. I walk out into the ally. About 20 feet down the alley is a maroon dumpster and standing hear it is a woman. She is taller than me (probably 6 ‘6”) with dark black wavy hair that falls below her shoulders. She is wearing a puffy white long sleeve shirt, a long black skirt, and tall black boots. She reminds me of a gypsy. I walk towards her. She turns and smiles at me. I smile back. I say, “I’m dreaming!” She continues to look at me but her face morphs. Her cheek bones and jaw become more pronounce and the shadow of beard stubble appears. She is now a man dressed like a woman. I ignore this change knowing this is just a dream. I decide to jump over the six foot fence to my right. As I jump I remember my goal, and drop back to the ground. I know I want to fly into space and view the earth from orbit. I look up at the sky, which is brilliantly blue with no clouds. I turn back to the man/woman and say “Do you want to see something amazing?” He/she nods. I look back to the sky and it has changed. It is a swirling mass of deep purple and blue with millions of stars and galaxies. I pause for a moment to stare at this amazing sight. Then I squat down a bit and give a tremendous leap…but my real life legs respond and jerk which immediately wakes me up.
Awake:: 4:00 am then dozed back off around 5 am and awoke at 5:15 am
Vividness: (scale of 1-15, 10 is waking life vividness) D1 = 6; D2 = before lucid 8, after lucid 13
Awareness: (1-10; or lucid) D1 = 4; D2 before lucid 8 then Lucid
Length: (how long it felt like! Because that matters) D1 = 20 min; D2 10 min
Emotions: Disappointment, Fear, Embarrassment; Disgust; Happiness
Dream Signs: In strange places (restaurant kitchen, day care center, warehouse, beach, etc), person from my past, daughter with long hair, some kid I don’t know hugging me from behind)
Notes: I woke up after Dream 1 just before 4 am. I have pain in my neck. I lay there recalling my dream for a few minutes. I make mental tags. But then I realize I’m probably not going to be able to fall back to sleep. I then jot my tags down on my notebook and lay there thinking about my dream and trying to remember previous dreams from earlier that night. I glance at the clock at 4:32 am. I start meditating (breathing, clearing my mind) in the hope of falling back to sleep. I glace at the clock at 4:53 am. Then I ended up in Dream 2, but it was a very light sleep right on the verge of waking up. In the dream I completely forgot to stabilize. I’m sure that would have helped.

Night of April 4, 2014. Friday.



This is one of the only times in recent years I have deliberately tried to focus on a person I did not know at all (other than as an assumed bizarre and relentlessly narcissistic persona), though I have (not by intent) dreamt of the YouTube hillbilly conspiracy theorist a few times (one dream being precognitive of his finding a much younger wife).

In my dream, there is only one main scene of a man riding backwards on a horse. He goes about in circles seeming very delighted and pleased. There seems no threat of injury. This is close to being a “glowing dream” but does not reach that visual quality (that is, a dream where everything seems to glow from within, sort of like a photographic negative but with correct color). He leans forward over the back of the horse, his upper body eventually being nearly horizontal to the horse. His head, with the side of it touching the horse’s back (as if seemingly attempting to hear something - but probably only incidental in appearance as such) is mostly over the croup and his hands open and about the horse’s hips for the most part. He continues to seem delighted as the horse gallops about but he never sees me at any point. He seems very proud and fulfilled over how “well” he is doing in a sort of absentminded, yet totally certain way.

He is dressed informally and has flushed cheeks with a reddish nose and even a reddish chin, with a sort of odd pale complexion as if out of the sun for a long time or appearing to have a continuous “alcohol complexion”. He grins in euphoria. It is almost as if he views the horse as his own body. Even though he is riding backwards, it seems to be how things have “always been” for him, almost as if he is not aware that a horse has a head.

Eventually, he has a very large bed-sheet (or possibly a picnic blanket), wearing it over himself sort of like an implied cape, leaning down closer to the back even more as if the horse were like a bed, with the tail being the head of the bed. Eventually, he covers himself completely (somehow able to hold onto part of it) as the sheet moves up and about almost like distorted wings of an airplane. I stand puzzled and wondering if he will see me, but no. At one point, the sheet waves like a flag. I continue to watch, feeling a sense of hilarity as well as a sincere pity.

This dream opened into a very nice room, that resembled a very nice suite in a hotel room. The decorations and the scenery outside the window made it seem as if I was in India, and I was with a very attractive girl who was my girlfriend. We were fooling around in the room and something bad happened, resulting in the death of the girl. Apparently I accidentally did something to cause her death, and I pled guilty. However, instead of facing the law, I was taken in by an old man who ran a monastery/convent/church place. He showed me around quickly and we bonded rather well as he showed me where I would live, what my duties would be, etc. I met another girl in the monastery and we flirted a bit, the old man chastising me and saying "Isn't this what got you into trouble in the first place?" We stayed friends but didn't really do much else. The old man and I eventually ended up in his office and he began coughing. I was concerned for his health, but he told me that it wasn't important and that this would probably be the last time I saw him. Suddenly, there was a time skip and I heard my own voice narrating what had happened in that time. I said that "I only saw him one more time before his death 17 years later."

Suddenly, I was in what seemed to be a high school gym with a violin in my hands, apparently leading a rehearsal for some show featuring music from Homestuck played by our orchestra while actors on a stage danced while playing. I can't play violin in real life, but I know enough to know how the instrument works, so I was still consciously playing it even though I didn't really know what I was doing. At some point during this practice, I became at least partially lucid rather accidentally. I remember getting up and starting to walk away, but nothing particularly fun came to mind, so I just sat back down and picked up the violin, since it seemed cool anyway. I think it was only partial lucidity because surely if I had been fully lucid I would've come up with SOMETHING else to do, and I do remember a certain vagueness that still pervaded the dream. When I sat back down, I was worried at first that I wouldn't be able to play the violin, but then I remember it was a dream and I could basically just play random notes and it would sound however I wanted it to sound, so I did, and it was a pretty sweet arrangement. I eventually picked up a trumpet someone had left laying around and was about to try playing it when someone distracted me and asked for help cleaning the gym. I lost the brief lucidity at some point and helped to vacuum a small carpeted lounge area in one corner of the gym. When the janitors I was helping finished the room, I got a text from my friend David. I don't actually remember getting the text or what it said, but it was written in my notes.

Now when I left, I found myself in an urban area and met my mom. She told me I was going to be sent to jail for 6 months anyway. I was rather solemn and accepting of it, and I remember getting ready and preparing myself for the days to come. I knew it was a pretty nice jail with many luxuries, but I would still be confined to one room nearly the entire time. I recall thinking that it wasn't really going to be that bad since the cell was basically the same size as my college dorm room and I was just going to be chilling in there for 6 months. I found a refrigerator outside which apparently had some food leftover from an event my mom held. It had a couple popsicles and some cheese-filled sausages that looked pretty good. I grabbed them and went into my house, which had appeared in front of me somehow, even though the fridge should've been nowhere near there. I found hot dog buns next to the microwave and put a few of the sausages in there, then prepared a plate. However, my mom asked me to help her find her new job at some Subway store. She would be driving and I would be the navigator. It wasn't supposed to take that long, and I was really only using a MapQuest app. I was having some technical issues, which also seems to happen in my dreams relatively often. We somehow drove across the Atlantic Ocean and all of Africa and Asia, ending up in southeast China in a few minutes. I then realized that I told MapQuest to take us to the wrong Subway, and the one my mom was supposed to work at was in Brazil. I struggled to plot a new course that wouldn't take more than 19 hours to drive there (which seemed to be about the minimum time I could find in the suggested routes). I was also worried about missing my court date or whatever, which would have resulted in more jail time. We discussed the possibility of just staying on the run in other countries, when eventually, the dream started to fade and I woke up.

#302 - DEILD - 5:55AM

I intend to have a natural WBTB but I wake a bit late around 5AM. The dream I was having was about my company's wifi was recording everyone's Google searches. I found out the IT dept was actually going through all the records and I become worried that I should have been more careful what I research. I was certain that I always make sure I stay logged out of Google for this very reason as I wake.

It's too late for an actual WBTB so I use the restroom and do mantra's while focusing on my body, hoping for the best outcome.

I find myself sitting in some sort of outdoor amphitheater with my wife and her sister. We seem to be watching a movie on a big screen that looks like some lame chick flick. I become bored and remember there is a bar in the back. I wonder if they serve Absinthe. I remember I had been researching it (True) and really want to try a shot. I tell my wife I'll be right back.

The scene skips to an indoor and dimly lit bar with lots of neon lights. I walk to the bartender and see some random bottles that might be Absinthe but I can't read it. Then I clearly see a bottle marked, "LUCID". It's a real brand of Absinthe so I don't think too much other than, "Yes. They have it." Although, I am a bit bummed that it is this brand since I had read so much negative remarks about it online.



I ask the bartender to pour me a shot. There was some conversation that I can't recall. Then, a young, good looking black man comes from the back that I take to be the owner. He has a white tall-boy can in one hand and says something like, "If you just want to a taste then try this." I explain to him that from what I read, American Absinthe doesn't contain any Thujone. It's like a coffee drinker trying to enjoy decafe. (BTW I have no idea if this is actually the case, but I have read that as well as other conflicting articles.) I was hoping for some imported stuff, but I decide to take a sip. I force myself to get past the fact that I am drinking after a complete stranger. Worse still it seems to be the off of it. Gross. The liquid is ice cold and tastes exactly like mugwort tea with a hint of wormwood. I lie to the man and tell him, "It's good", as I walk away. I stop after a few steps and already feel pleasantly intoxicated. I see some mild hallucinations and then all my senses, especially my vision, becomes super sharp and Hi-Def. I marvel at this for a second and then remember that I need to get back to my wife.

I am in the amphitheater again but everyone has left. My pocket buzzes and I read a text from my wife. "WE ARE IN THE HIGH TOWER" I'm not sure what that means but I remember there's a round ziggurat in the parking lot. I rush over there as fast as I can. I just get a glimpse of something that resembles a small Tower Of Babel when I either half wake or have a false awakening.



I am self aware but not really trying to LD at this point. I recall the dream I just had and realize the word "Lucid" and the thoughts of Thujone should have made me think of LD and RC.

I get a vivid flash of some dream scene, become excited, then renter darkness. I realize that I am basically dreaming now and the vibrations start. I wait a moment strengthening the vibes and telling myself to stay aware. I feel my heart pounding and force myself to calm down. After a moment I exit.

I am standing in the kitchen/dinning room of the old house in Luling. I move down the hallway to the front door but my vision blacks out again. I recall the living room in my mind and the lights come back on. I look around with eyes wide open to see better. I decide to stay inside but I can't seem to recall any goals. I head back to the kitchen and notice a large red toned mural on the wall in the hallway. I don't focus on it (I wish I had) but feel the edge of it. I wasn't sure if it was canvas or actually painted on the wall.

I move to the kitchen and recall all the crazy "demon" stories about this old church parsonage. It always frightened the hell out of me ask a kid so I decide to call them out. When I try to speak my voice is caught in my throat and I assume I was trying to talk in my sleep. I pause, make a humming noise, then in a loud and commanding voice, "IF THERE EVER WERE ANY DEMONS HERE. THEN COME FORTH AND SHOW YOURSELF." Once I had spoken the words I feel mildly afraid, yet confident. Still, I think I should find a weapon. I turn and pull an extra large butcher knife from a wooden knife block on the counter. I think this isn't big enough and it becomes a Samurai sword with a handle matching Michonne's sword in TWD. I look around disappointed that there are no demons to attack. Not even zombies. I hack and swing in the air imagining invisible foe's but none materialize. It's at this point that I wake up minutes before the alarm clock.

I appeared to be in my back garden[SP], this was somewhat unusual given this was a garden from my old house (37 Whitefriars Road)[ST], the garden was strange, there was no house present -- a little shack perhaps, the grass overgrown in the distance and fields vastly stretched out[SF].

In front of me stood a large apparatus, it seemed as though I was viewing it from a green coated deck-chair, it was hard to identify, it's shape matched that of a TV but it had features of a Sound-station, it towered over me - a giant rectangular obelisk[OF]. It was apparent that it was in poor condition the fabric - torn, dislodged and ripped. On the left side, the fabric had a patchwork hole, above it the silk had been unwoven causing a mesh screen to waver in and out like a curtain. In the center of the object, a CRT screen or mid-sized woofer reverberated [OF]. After that things were fuzzy, my thoughts were to fix or clean this object from it's poor condition, I had assumed purchasing it second-hand, in this regard it was likely a refurbish attempt. This was notable because early that day in real-life I had done something similar to a dirtied sink basin, restoring it to a clean condition. [S]

The next segment of the dream was extremely hazy, I think I was trying to clean the object, but it also involved cleaning the floor around the object for whatever reason[EA]. I was doing this by going over to a brick covered square block, the interior of which was filled with water, this block seemed to tucked away in a cavern by a lake. The dream objects continued switching in and out[OF], I remember there being a cave near this pebbled alcove, it was sealed by slotted rectangular bolder, for some reason the front of these broke off, or I hit it -- I can't remember. One of the layers shattered, crumbling in a distinctly odd fashion[OA]. I could see the other layered boulders in the cave, this was all strange obviously because this wasn't normal, more like a physics destruction system from a dated video game[OF] (Geo-mod -- Red Faction); This is probably how I justified it at the time as well. This section of the dream went on for a while, I remember being very panicky at this point. I was filling or transferring the water from this brick pit, over to the speaker but it was spilling everywhere[EA], I had the distinct idea of making a mess in two locations despite the brick pit initially being a well of sorts, the bricks were oddly arranged I was picking them up and a cement like-paste was wrapping them. The water was beginning to pool over the brick pit, sticking to the messy paste. Everything was incredibly messy, all I could think about was mess, mess - mess. I was panicking and extremely anxious. [E] [S]

After that there was a transition, the speaker appeared to have gone, and I was just in the garden normally. I could see what looked like black laborers in the distant hilly field above the shacked house[ST]. There was something odd about their appearance, my mind told me these were slavers, working on a plantation [ST][SF]. I saw my dad in the window of the shack [CP], he called over to me, something about eating food, or having food or perhaps just my food was ready. Something about tea as well, which suggested that he probably wanted one, I felt incredibly annoyed at this conversation for some reason [E]. I also saw Zakia outside [CP]. [S]

Then something more bizarre happened, I'd teleported slightly further back in the field, to a diagonal position overlooking a field Northeast. Above a plane soared, but it was all so odd, the plane was flying far too low [OA], there was nothing else in the sky, and the landscape was far too simply contoured and outlined, just solid color no fidelity [SF]. A Frisbee was thrown at this point, it seemed to emanate from my body [OA], I don't recall physically throwing it, but it instantaneously hit the plane, it hadn't even flown in the correct trajectory to hit the plane, nor had it flown high enough to do so. All that happened though was the plane exploded, not in a fireball but seemingly it just snapped and smoke expelled from the fuselage [OF] (at this point I felt shameful, stupid, clumsy, guilty, inept [E]), but rather than crash-land it seemed to almost frame skip, then crash-land, entirely non-audible as well [OA], and before I'd known it there were already policeman and others cordoning off the scene, all within the span of a second. [P] [S]

I was somewhat lucid at this point, I'd flown over to the plane wreckage, which now was on a road, in the middle of a street. The chief of police funnily enough resembled David Cameron [CP], he gawked up at me and I flew overhead, I felt somewhat rebellious, a cocksure lawbreaker [ER]. The chief was incredibly angry, flew up and begun to fly with me down the street [CA]. He chased after me and the scene seemed to squash into a small ventilation perspective of the street [P], with the Chief flying in a superman posture directly towards me. The scenery was all grey-scale and outlined now, and I was dodging billboards. I remember being pommeled by the Chief, he was much stronger, beating me into a pulp. I managed quickly to squeeze into a nearby doorway as he fluttered around outside, it took an incredibly amount of force to squeeze in (similar to that of pulling oneself out of a dream). I managed to pull myself inside looking out through a blackened corridor, a small black screen on what was a rainy grey street under a blurry visage. [P] [S]

Object Form = 5
Situation = 4
Object Action = 4
Perception = 3
Character Place = 3
Emotion = 3
Setting Time = 2
Setting Form = 2
Ego Action = 2
Character Action = 1
Ego Role = 1



Context = 10
Form = 7
Action = 7
Inner Awareness = 6

Object = 9
Internal = 6
Character = 4
Setting = 4
Ego = 3
Other = 3

uh man it's like 9:42 PM let's see
I wrote some out earlier but then had to restart google chrome gggg but I can still remember some...

Dream - Can't Get Out
So in this one let's seee first of all my bro and I were chilling in this big old movie theater complex, and we befriended this one kid in a wheelchair and borrowed something from him, like maybe a handheld game thing. And then later we realized we needed to give it back to him, but by that time he was chilling by the concession stand next to the stairs, and we were on the second floor directly overhead (also next to the stairs), and for WHATEVER reason we decided to try to lower it through a hole in the floor to him, rather than just going down the stairs. Think there was also an elevator by them stairs. But nah. Too convenient I guess. Too easy.

So we tried to lower it to him using a jumprope but I'm pretty sure that didn't work. Like, maybe there wasn't even a hole in the floor to begin with. Crazy stuff.

Next bit was me alone in the theater complex still, in some back area that was super well decorated. Looked like the living space for some rich retired guy; open spaces, fireplace with a mantel, gold stuff and nice furniture all around, and like, random stuff displayed on stands like it was a museum or art exhibit or somethin'.

I think I was looking for something. The mood was sort of heading towards horror-ish, though I'm not sure how. And then the rich retired guy walked in behind me. He was pretty friendly, really. Quite welcoming. I guess we were sort of buddies or on the same side or whatever.

So then I hopped in an elevator and started heading down to the basement, but had a brief moment of lucidity when I realized that this was a dream and that I really did NOT want to go down to the basement. There was going to be something terrible down there. That's how basements are, in horror games, and this dream had at some point become a nightmare. By now I was huddled in the corner of the elevator, facing the door, fighting my fear.

I started trying to figure out how to wake up. I tried to feel my IWL body, asleep in my bed, but there was absolutely no sign of it. I couldn't perceive it even slightly. It really was just me in the dream, as far as my mind was concerned. I think I abandoned the attempt to feel my body and instead tried to just "wake up", but that didn't work either and soon the lucidity died.

The elevator reached the basement and the doors opened to reveal darkness, and a menacing basement sort of atmosphere; but where I was expecting some monster to appear, the confident retired man walked up, in a white suit that defied the darkness around him. He stepped into the elevator, and we headed back upstairs.

I don't remember what happened next. I think we ended up back in the main part of the theater, and I might have woken up soon after.

Fragment: Me walking along, hugging myself, then realizing that the people around me can see my body language.

I had a long, miserable WBTB. I woke up at 5am and probably didn't get back to sleep until well after 8am. But I made the effort to keep my awareness, and incubate some TOTM possibilities. I decided during this time, that upon gaining lucidity, I would find a DC, and stick my leg out as he walked by, tripping him. That's about as basic as that one gets, but I thought it would be an easy one after such a long dry spell.

Anyway, I slipped into a coma like sleep finally, and had some nonlucids that I've already forgotten. At one point, I was having a nonlucid where I was holding a cat, and petting him, and he was purring, and all sweet. But every so often, I guess I was petting him wrong, and he'd go ape shit biting my hand. This cycled a few times when I realized that it was indeed happening in cycles, and I could kinda feel vibrations associated with the biting, like when I WILD or DEILD. I realized I was dreaming (YEAH!) and thought right away about finding a DC to trip. I was already in some house, but it was unfamiliar. My left eye wasn't working right, but I ignored it. I walked into the next room and saw a really beautiful African American woman. Great body, beautiful face and hair.. made me think right away of black Barbie. She was standing in a corner of what looked like a small, cluttered family room. I said "Come 'ere.." to her, with the idea that when she walked up to me, I'd stick out my leg and trip her. But she just shook her head and said "no." Stupid DCs... when will they learn that you're not supposed to tell us dreamers no. There was a long couch next to her and I willed her to flop down on it, and she did, landing on the couch on her stomach.

Spoiler for NSFW:

I got on top of her and nailed her. I won't get into the nitty gritties here, but I will say that I'm shocked that I was able to finish without waking up, because it was pretty damn exciting. My eyesight was terrible, so I just went with feel alone. I remember making an effort to kiss and caress the skin on her back a lot, which I think helped me stay grounded. Toward the end, I was really moving and moaning, and I was super scared that real me was moving and making noises in the bed and how embarrassing that would have been!

Anyway, when I was done, I was thrilled to still be in the dream and lucid (THRILLED TO BE ALIIIIVE!!!!!!), so I made a move for an area of the room that had a window overlooking a grocery store. The window was like a portal with a preview haha, I love it. I phased through the window and entered the store from a second story height. My eye started working a lot better, and the store was really really vivid and colorful and clear. I love grocery stores in LDs, because they really are very colorful places with lots of neat stuff: colorful flowers, fruits and veggies; beautiful packages and cans of food, meat and fish and big displays with loud signs... basically a candy store for me, in dreams as well as real life. Anyway, before I could think up another task attempt, I woke up.

Best part about all this, is that I told Danny about it when I woke up, and he actually got turned on by it haha! There's only one guy in the world so freaky as to love a freak of nature such as me and I'm lucky I found him <3 Seriously, the amount of random crap he entertains me telling him, all this DV nonsense, podcasts that make no sense to him... must be all the good grub

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #197: The King

It's modern times, and I’m the king of a small nation. I’m sharing a smallish hotel suite with several royal guests. A few of the royal guests in the adjoining room are very upset with me about something and I’m pacing the room, dreading that I have to talk the issue over with them.

I inspect one of the hotel desks and see two narrow drawers. Somehow I realize that the drawer on the left contains a picture of the girl that my son E (who I think is a prince) is engaged to. I open the drawer and see that the future princess is a cute girl in her late teens with long brown hair. I think for a moment how odd this pairing is since my son is only 4 years old. I struggle with this for a moment, thinking I’ve forgotten my son’s age, until I realize that I’m dreaming.

I walk into an adjacent room where I think my kids are sleeping. There’s a crib here but instead of a child, the crib contains my friend R (who appeared in a few of my early lucids way back when). R is squatting in the crib, not doing much of anything, so I grab him under the armpits and hoist him out of the crib. I tell him that I’m having a lucid dream and that I hope he’s having one too (or maybe that I just hope he’s having a lot of them recently.)

He walks back to the main part of the hotel room with me, briefly exploring the kitchen area, before we turn toward a large picture window overlooking a lake. I invite him to come fly out over the lake with me, but he seems hesitant and apprehensive. He remarks that he doesn’t think he’s got the skills to pull this off.

I say some reassuring words, and when I turn back to the big picture window, the scene has changed from a lake to a large office filled with cubicles. There’s a woman with long, dark hair and glasses working quietly at a desk, and when she looks up to see us seems completely astonished.

The change is a surprise to me, so I decide to head out the other way from the hotel room. I don’t press the issue with R and let him just hang out in the hotel room. The hotel room exit takes me into a library with a high ceiling. I take advantage of the ceiling space by flying around. I help myself navigate around the room by pointing where I want to go, and it works great!

After a moment I remember that I need to pursue my goals, so I land and make an attempt at the Jack and the Beanstalk Task of the Year. I produce a seed from behind the back and then plunge my hands into the industrial carpet of the library floor. I find that I can dig it up easily and all these little chunks of foam pop out of the hole I leave behind. I use them to cover the seed back up and start thinking about how I should water it to help it grow.

As I’m thinking my way through this, the scene goes dark and I feel myself lying in bed. I’m super hopeful that it’s just a false awakening, and I even hit the nose pinch. Too bad -- I’m awake!