memorable

+ reading mom's obituary in the pink pages of the Sunday paper. The columnist is famous, but you have to write up the obit as if it were a baseball play in order to get the guy to print them. Looking for her name in the column, the printed part is really short, there are two pictures of her young and with huge, almost manic smiles on her face. My sister is there, she gave me the paper to read.

+ home invader, childhood home: TV's on, I didn't turn it on, instantly suspect an invader grab a lighter pistol and hold it up like a club and head partway up the stairs, invader comes out of the downstairs bathroom, I'm on stairs, trying to say "Who are you!? What are you doing?!" but it comes out "WH-WH-WH-WH!?!!!", he says "WAIT!" before I hit him (I "recognize" him?) he writes something on a piece of paper -- he's gotten somebody to agree to be his music student. He leaves out the front door, "we should become friends first". He wants to be my housemate. The only thing good about the student deal is that I think he'll be able to pay his rent. I'm not enthusiastic about the idea, "My mom passed away recently and I need more alone time," the rest of my family agrees with me. I wonder how much I could charge for renting my sister's room out. $2,000 - $3,000? $1,000 is too little for the awesome unique view. $1500? Would my sister be mad? She'd have to come and gather her things first. We'd have to share the upstairs bathroom.

+ (f) I'm in the kitchen (of childhood home?) scraping a flat white round crusty thing off of a cookie sheet with a spatula, it's a fried egg with no yolk. I guess my dad made it. Then I see one with some yolk left on it.

+ knee job at drum corps concert; mom again, cleaning, meet guy with deformed back, I introduce myself as her son; lose my instrument
I'm sitting in the audience near the front right of the hall. On stage is a drum corps concert: huge group, instrument sections are "sliding" down in from off stage (stage is steeply sloped going up towards the back). In front is a long row of drummers all drumming and spinning and making awesome moves.

It's dark now, and I have my feet extended in front of me beneath and to the side of the seat in front of me. I feel someone there grab my shoe and hold it and move it around. I look forwards and try to see through the darkness, I think I see the person there's head is turned back and looking at me from between the seats. I keep looking and keep seeing someone looking at me. I bend my legs and pull them back out from under the seat to stop the grabbing. I'm annoyed by it. The person sitting there gets up and changes seats several over to the left.

The lights come on and I see the people seated in front of me are two hot girls (sisters, one older one younger) and their mom. Aw man, and I was annoyed with her playing with me without knowing, what a missed opportunity. Then the younger girl is back in the seat in front of me, turned around facing me, and leaning over with her face just a foot or so away from mine. She is pretty, and is staring right into my eyes and smiling. I'm taken aback and stammer out, "uh, hello there!" Then she starts licking my knee. And not tentative little licks, but a sloppy enthusiastic "knee-job." (I'm wearing jeans). Her saliva is drenching both legs of my jeans. I lean my head over to my friend next to me and say "I bet you know what I'm thinking!" (that "This must be a dream", [but alas, no RC, no lucidity]). Her mom is laughing at the whole thing.

After the concert people are milling around outside. A small group of people enter and there they are again, the two hot sisters! I decide to take out my phone and try to get some pics of them. I manage to get the younger sister alone to the side and start taking pictures of her face. She makes distorted funny faces every time, like those "funny face" apps do. I try to trick her into getting a clear shot of her face by giving her a long slow countdown to the picture and taking the picture early, but the picture still comes out distorted. I think this must be because of the "fun house" mirror that is behind her. Her older sister joins at some point. The younger sister starts wailing/screeching in between pictures, and I try to "SSShhh!!" her. I tell somebody "she totally gave me 'deep knee'," and I prove it by showing the still-wet saliva tracks on both knees of my jeans.

The group eventually leaves. The girls have a brother who off-handedly mentions that they're going home to "Brettonwood" [something with a B] then he immediately clams up like he wasn't supposed to say where they lived. I think of going there some day to find them. They walk off down the street.

I'm with my mom then, she's with a group cleaning up after the concert. There is a train of cars connected. One of the train cars is also a huge (10-foot diameter?) clothes dryer. I can't find my instrument. I know I had it earlier but now it's gone. I'm looking around in these train cars for it. I reach under the seat and feel a handle like the handle on my instrument case. I'm relieved. Then I pull it out and see it's just a normal suitcase, my instrument is still missing.

My mom tells me about a man who's walking by. He seems normal, she tells me he dresses that way because of his deformity. He's wearing what appears to be a normal suit. Then I watch him more closely as he walks past me from left to right and he seems to shrink in height and is wearing loose clothing, and it appears his back is very crooked and his butt sticks way out. He's from a family that should know me but he doesn't seem to know me. I stick out my hand to him and we shake hands, and I say "I'm <my mother's first name>'s son." Somebody is doing math based on age difference to figure out how old somebody is?

+ (f) concert schedule, am I playing a concerto? What will I do, now that I've lost my instrument?

long BTS attempt, make it only for a short dream, recalled later:

+ in the restaurant.
"Pad Thai to go, please."
"We don't make that any more."
"What!? I've been ordering that here for years! What'll I eat then? OK, just give me a vodka martini to go. Can I get a lid with that?"
Then I wonder if it's OK to have in the car. It's a closed container so it should be OK, I can put it behind the front seat. When I get home I'm going to get drunk off of bourbon and coke.

11-29-2015 -- Kind of a cool one, if not all there. I'm wandering around a place that I have been before, which is a strange blending of the multi-level underground office complex at Savanna High School and the hospital that I have dreamed of several times in the last couple of years with the long corridors along the south and west sides of the building. This odd combination is further crossed with the spooky haunted maze type of dream.

So we're creeping through these corridors, trying to avoid running into either the people in charge, who don't want us in areas that we don't belong, or the monsters that are roaming the area. I'm leading them down the long, empty corridor along the west side of the building, trying to get everyone else to stay quiet and move quickly, since I have some familiarity with the building, and know more-or-less where I am going. Soon we're going along the south corridor, dodging doctors and patients, but not in any sort of trouble. Then we're heading up the east side, which is where things are turning more into the Savanna building.

Soon we're in the men's room, trying to access the secret passageways that not only lead deeper into the hidden areas of the building, but also into other times and other dimensions. To even get into the restroom involved finding keys and following detailed processes, though in this particular dream, we weren't 'living through' that part of it. We're just in the restroom, and the others are loosening the grating on the ceiling, and starting to climb up. My friends are traveling to another world, but I'm busy theorizing about the whole process, and don't notice them trying to get my attention, and finally they go on without me.

I notice I'm all alone, and while I could follow them as far as things working for me, I'm not really in good enough shape to feel comfortable trying to pull myself up into the ceiling by myself. Instead I decide I'll explore a little bit, trying to move carefully, act like I belong, and avoid attention. I tell myself that if I stick to the well-lit areas, I ought to be able to avoid any of the zombies.

So I am moving slowly and carefully, being quiet, doing nothing to draw attention to myself, trying to look like I belong, and I reach the underground attendance office. I just kind of peek in, wave to a few of the ladies there, say hello. No problems ... until I try and leave, and one of the guys in the office glances my way and realizes he doesn't know me and I probably don't belong. He starts a chase, and suddenly I'm running pell-mell through maze-like corridors being chased by monsters.

At one point I find myself climbing over rubble around a sort of stream, climbing over a broken down dam, and one of the zombies chasing me is an old friend. He's actually calling out to me, begging me to take him with me. In our original world, this friend was outright killed, a while back. But in this world, they did whatever turns people into zombies here to him ... but it only half takes. He has a zombie's broken down body, but his mind is his own, and he isn't trying to eat my brains. I think about it, and find myself thinking if I bring him from this world to our world, I can have my friend back ... but I warn him he is going to have to be really careful with his foot, which is rotted and only half connected, and kind of flopping around. I tell him he'll have to protect it until we can find a way to heal it for him.

So we climb through the rubble into the school gym, where we almost immediately run into Dumbledore, who unfortunately only needs to glance at us and hear a couple of tiny details before he realizes we've been messing with things we shouldn't be messing with. We're involved in both time travel and dimensional travel, neither things that are very safe to play around with.

We keep moving, heading to the restroom where we can make it back to my world, when suddenly things shift, and I'm not me, but a rather attractive female teacher who is trying to find this strange dimensional portal that we're using. She's actually reached the counter that has the small hidden drawer with the key needed to make it in the restroom, and is looking in exactly the right place, but she hasn't done one of the earlier parts of the process that makes the trigger for the drawer visible to you, so she can't see it.

Even as myself, I now have the same problem, I can't access the hidden key because of some part of the process that I haven't done recently enough on this world ... thankfully I also still have another key to another hidden area on another world in my pocket (from a different dream), and it will work here, too.

At this point I am myself again, and sneak up on the teacher and half-kidnap her, dragging her down a hall and into a department store (can't say for sure if it is Sears, May Co, or Penney's, because I don't really see enough of it). Near a broken down wall, surrounded by piles and racks of clothes, I somehow use some kind of truth ray on her to interrogate her and see if we can trust her enough to bring her in on things, and maybe have some fun, as well. As I said, very attractive teacher.

At my grandma's. There’s a party. I just woke up upstairs and walk downstairs to the bathroom. I’m in boxers and a shirt that says something about beer and hamburgers. I have sunglasses on my head and my hair looks nice for just waking up. D has some responsibilities he’s tending to and JM calls me a dyke with a dick. I’m pissed and a feud ensues. I tell D all about it at the restaurant he owns. I see memes about the Krusty Krab menu looking like Monopoly games: “the look you give when you lose a game of monopoly and have to clean it up”. We’re interrupted when the party comes into his restaurant. I leave and go into a bedroom to go to sleep. My sister is there and we have to share a bed. JM comes in and I tell her I can’t be around that many people without being drunk. She gets in bed next to my sister and they start masturbating each other. I tell them, “I know what you’re doing. Stop. Don’t do that when I’m here.” My sister plays dumb but JM doesn’t. I ask her about all the party people she brought with her. She says they are magical beings and the only way to get rid of them is to trap them in a nitrous oxide tank. I call D since he just got certified in scuba diving. He says he’s not allowed to do that because it would take too much pto. I go to the restaurant and see a giant gorilla with a blue, prosthetic arm that is shaped just like a stick that tapers at the end. We are poking him with ski sticks but it’s just pissing him off. That’s it. We’re going to die. I don’t know what to do. I remember we have Fragarach (a magical sword) so I grab it and chop off the gorilla’s arms and head. I can’t remember if I grabbed it from a table or D’s back. The inside of the restaurant looks like my aunt's old house.
Later I am walking down the street people-watching. I see an attractive blonde couple sitting at a table outside with ice cream. I sit down at a table across the street. It’s dawn. Eventually I look to my right and there’s a girl I kinda recognize. She’s been trying to get my attention. “Didn’t you hear me?!” She exclaimed. “No. Im half deaf right now.” I reply. She asks what D’s business hours are because they’re inconsistent and not adhered to. She says they went to Thailand on what ended up being an extended vacation where they tried to start a restaurant. Now they want to talk to D about the restaurant business. I tell them that by now it’s 6 a.m. so people should be already coming for breakfast and he should be there. He’s been there all night. I go to his restaurant and they had put a sticky sign up next to his hours sign that said they will return to look for him in 5 hours. I go inside and there was a pile up of vehicles. D’s truck was in the middle. AW had a white car off to the left that didn’t get hit. I talked to AW and she told me about what happened. She grabbed a sticky pad like the one that was put by the hours sign and said it’s the shape that represents her sun sign or something. She put it on her back like a tramp stamp. I talked about how the media is going to be so confused about this accident. How unusual, a pile up..inside a building!!

I’m swimming in murky, mossy water next to a bunch of Japanese people on vacation. They think it feels good, I’m just trying not to touch the bottom because I'm grossed out. People get out of a watering hole just in time before it overflows. They think it's fun.

D and I are walking through a building. He talks about being a Monk. It’s something he’s interested in. I see jiujitsu type robes but it turns out they’re pants that come up to the waist with a square cutout at the very center. It's specifically for the monks. The monks overhear him talking about his interest and invite him to talk with them. He does and I leave the room and wait for him in the entrance of the bulding. Girls are coming in to take showers. They start whispering that I lost my husband. I look around and am not seeing him. “Oh no, I lost him again.” I asked the Monks where he went and they started acting very shady. They were Indian. They wanted money before they told me. I gave them the coin they asked for and then they were telling me multiple things, unsure of which lie to stick with. I became really upset. I told them this shouldn’t be that hard. All of them were silent except the one to my left. I looked their monastery up online. There were pics of D on their website as though he worked there. They had quotes from him and stories about Western repressed sexuality. But then someone had posted an undercover video of the Monks called, “The only thing they want to give you is LIES”. Now I was furious and felt sick. I went back to them. The talkative guy had gone into a glass box like a protected receptionist's desk. I told him, “I have a lot of money,” and showed him a handful of coins from my pocket. “I will give it all to you but you have to tell me where he is and you have to be right about it. If I find him I will come back and pay you.” He refused. He said nothing. I felt a huge sense of loss and despair. I wondered if this was a dream. This was so awful it had to be a dream. But it was so real. I thought really hard about what is real and woke up with a startle and reached in the bed to make sure my husband was actually there. Then I fell back asleep and re-entered the dream. I walked outside into the courtyard. Naturally, I figured he shape shifted into a snake. I called for him and got down on all fours so I’d be easier to see. I even hissed. Then I saw his phone and my old phone in someone’s yard. It had a lot of missed calls on it from me. I walked up to the house and there were people inside talking. A couple. They were talking about how he’s in a relationship, a religious one (marriage). I want to break in to look for D but I know that if I do, I’ll have to kill those people.

I was at a hiking trip high up in these beautiful mountains filled with green fields and snow on the top.
There was two sides of the mountain and there was a bridge so that you could get to the other side.
I was walking on the bridge then all of a sudden the bridge slowly collapsed.
I quickly grabbed the bridge fence(dont know what its called) and i was suddenly on this pillar thats left from the bride.
I looked down and it seemed to be over 100m.
But then i got this strong feeling that i was dreaming, before i did something i had to make sure i was dreaming(didnt want to die from trying to fly haha) i noticed how the wind was blowing the grass to a specific direction and i didnt feel any wind at all.
I looked in front of me and saw this amazing glass clear lake with a spruce forest surrounding it.
Thats when i decided to take a leap of faith, i dived towards the ground with an incredible speed.
I felt this incredible force pressing on my torso(i think it was my mind simulating the wind) as i get closer and closer to the ground.
Right now im really close to the ground and as im about to hit the rocky ground i agressively changed direction.
I was now flying faster that superman above the crystal clear water.
The lake ended in front of my eyes and instead i saw this old town.(i was facing towards the ground)
I flew down to the town and talked to people.(at this point i was 100% lucid)
But after a while of doing all kinds of stuff from moving buildings with telekenesis to riding mysterious creatures i got too exited and woke up

This was the most lucid ive ever been.

I find it amazing that our brain can create a whole world to explore, and with some practice control this world.

On this night I went to bed earlier at 11 pm and took 100 mg of 5htp to relax. After doing a WBTB method I again slowly drifted to sleep and found myself inside a large jumbo jet. I noticed I was sitting on the left side near the wing and the weather was sunny as again i noticed white puffy clouds below me. In the dream again i understood that we were flying over 30,000 feet in the air and that why the clouds appeared like they did.

As I kept looking out of the window I noticed our plane began to abruptly go down as everything kept going pitch black and then i was back in my seat and flying normal. Then again the plane turned violently from right to the left and we began to go down. I noticed that that the clouds were getting closer and I knew that it would take sometime before the lane would hit the ground. The lane was falling consistently now but for some reason I did not feel any fear. In a few moments the whole lane was now below the clouds and I could see ripples of the ocean. Suddenly i knew that we were bracing for impact as the plane turned to the right abruptly just before hitting the garage and just stopped.

My dream then changed as I was looking for a woman in an orange uniform because i seemed lost after the plane just "stopped" One of the crew members in the airport gave me a peace of paper with various descriptions which i did not understand and told me to look for that woman. I remember going into a line of people and patiently waiting.

The following night I will not use 5htp and will use Lucidimine once again.

This feels like only the beginning of a story arc. I'm going to tell this dream in two parts, the first was a dream from my adolescent journal, the second was from adulthood. I never had much interest at all in samurai and Japanese maritime culture, as I've mentioned in my other journals, and yet this theme keeps returning with vengeance. I'm always sabotaging the plans of aliens I meet as well, benevolent and malevolent alike.

--- --- --- --- ---

Dream #1 - May 2008

The beginnings of the dream are blurred. I was running. I don't know why and I don't know where I was going. A few other escapees fled with me. It was important that they didn't see us. I knew it would only be minutes before they appeared. We arrived at the river bank in my home town. Perfect, this was my turf, I knew how to blend in. It was as my friend as me where we should go, when a group of our pursuers appeared from around a corner. One of them was dressed in the armour of a samurai, but I somehow doubted that that's what he truly was. Despite the fact that we were enemies, I couldn't help sensing that we had a mutual understanding of each other. I was worried that could play to my disadvantage, but luckily they did not see us.

The dream shifted and I was a soldier fighting an uphill battle. Neither side was gaining ground and we were both gradually losing troops. We managed to take the school on the hill top which was overlooking the ocean and the enemy's home islands. A flying saucer sat silently nearby. I entered to find a man I knew well. He was one of our enemies and despite claiming that he wanted peace, he was only after victory. He told me that he was going to take any people who wanted to leave to his land where they would have a much better life. I didn't believe him and quickly left.

I walked through the environment until suddenly I realised that the Samurai was behind me. We both drew our swords, prepared to fight, and the battle began. I had trained hard for this but his skills were incredible. He was fast but strong and could predict my moves before I made them. I could barely defend myself from his blows. I decided to use my ability, and suddenly turned invisible. Even though he could not see me, he still managed to block every single one of my attacks all while lecturing me on 'fighting dirty'. I kept up the barrage without success.

It was then that he brought his leg up and attempted to kick me in the stomach. He knew that if I bled I couldn't remain invisible! He kicked at me again and again until eventually I flinched long enough for him to draw his dagger and plunge it into my side. The invisibility fell. I removed the dagger and broke into a run, realising that I couldn't win. I dashed up an embankment, turning invisible again in an attempt to flee.
"So predictable," I heard him say aloud as he followed. I looked down at my hands and realised that the invisibility was no longer working. I reached the top of the embankment and climbed up onto a balcony, hoping he would run past below and I would be able to slip away, but he knew exactly where I was. He stood beneath me and looked up. I expected him to continue his attack, but he stopped, nodded in acknowledgement, and then walked away.

I ran back to the alien saucer and slipped into the control room. The man's plans were the crash the ship into the school with dozens of my own people aboard. I changed its pre-flight path to the enemy island and ran into the cabin to drag my friends off this suicide ship. When I told them what I knew they didn't believe me. I could hear the countdown in the background and they still refused to move, so I pushed them off. I pulled the man into a headlock and leapt off the saucer as it rose into the air and promptly smashed into the island. My people cheered, but in all the confusion, the man had escaped again.

--- --- --- --- ---

Remember the Japanese whaling ships from the Temple of Apollo and the small dream-town in Tasmania? It gets relevant.

Dream 2 - November 2015

I was in a darkened building with many others. The dream was hazy and indistinct, and then suddenly I realised that I was in a single room alone and the visuals became very crisp and focused. This whole house was mine. The room was empty, but the moments sitting in silence without distractions fixed my cohesion. I was aware that people may be able to see me through the huge windows. I went to close the blinds, but then changed my mind, and pushed out through the doors. The call to adventure was answered.

I was living opposite the city cemetery. It was night time, but I could see clearly. I wandered the dream world for a while, speaking to my friends and investigating the detailed houses that lined the street. As I wandered, I eventually came to a sunlit park full of people. Some wandered the paths and some sat on the benches, enjoying the beautiful weather.

The dream transitioned while I was here. I found myself on a steep, grassy hillside and knew instantly that I have been moved. I tried to right myself and teleport back, but I could not change location. I looked up towards the top of the bluff. A samurai was waiting for me. I walked up to him, and he turned around in silence, leading me over the crest of the hill. On the cliff-side above us were vast rock paintings left here from a previous civilisation. There were humans mingling with winged bird-like creatures. They reminded me of djinn from Sumerian mythology. I looked around, amazed at the vividness of my surroundings.

The samurai led along the bluff until a small Japanese town came into view. It is nestled along the coast line, a fishing village. There were a few high-rise buildings constructed out of bamboo and light materials. I asked him what one of the buildings was for and he said that it was a place for doctors. I could see people awakening on Japanese-style futons within the rooms, and others receiving massage treatment from practitioners. I did not know much about their culture, but felt blessed to have such an excellent guide. He took me down into the town. We passed by the open doorways of peoples' homes. The townsfolk here were all wary of me. I stopped in the middle of a complex of washing lines, quite content with the idea of living here and becoming a part of the town. Sheets billow in the breeze, suspended all around me. I am introduced to a wise old man, who speaks with the samurai, and a strangely familiar male youth comes out to join us.

The dream fades and changes. One rather mundane dream in between I have omitted. I wish it had all ended there, and not in the way it does. I am on an airport runway, walking back to the terminal. My family is here, but they are like puppets; intangible, not at all right. They don't fit in with the scene. It is more solid than they are. They rush ahead, and then return, changing my direction.
"We're going the wrong way," I say.
"No, no. We are going to get on this plane," they say as a single unit. I start following them, but become so sluggish. Movement is so difficult. I am drained of energy, my feet begin to drag, my speech is slurred. One of the flight assistants opens the tape so I may step past. My family were faders in comparison and I cannot see them now. I try to say something, but I am so groggy, and fall away fatigued. My energy is gone. I have been fooled, but am not even allowed to see the face of my attacker.

--- --- --- --- ---

Dream 3 - December 2015

Only a fragment from a larger, hazy dream. My friends invited me to their cabins, but I arrive and realise it was only a gesture and that they weren't really interested in spending time with me. I leave and along my way, I encounter the Samurai again. This dream is not like the others. It is not vivid, and feels more like a normal subconscious dream. A montage plays out. I am male, and have been training with him for many months. I have been wearing heavy armour that he bestowed upon me throughout our training. It looks very fierce, with spikes lining the leg guards and pauldrons. It is impractical and actually inhibits my abilities, but I persist. My talents develop, and when I eventually remove the armour, I am stronger than ever.

I am myself again. We are walking down a street together in silence.
'I am dreaming!' I suddenly think to myself excitedly, but the dream is too hazy and unstable, and it is lost.

I went to bed at midnight and just got out (09:30), though I've been awake for a while longer.

Fragments
» I am enormously pissed off at my mom. I don't recall what the reason is specifically, but I say the most awful things to her.

» I'm with my thesis supervisor. It's a white woman. We're talking about the research that I want to do. She tells me I shouldn't pick such a narrow topic, but keep my options open a bit more. Overall she doesn't seem too enthusiastic about the research proposal for my thesis.

» I've joined my best friend to what seems to be her university. She has her own desk in a big communal office space. She's a student, but I suppose a bit more than a regular student, as this is a privilege which is mostly kept for teachers. I think the idea was for her to work on her thesis. After a while I take her spot and start working on my thesis. I'm thinking about the topic and considering some things.

» I'm a spectator. I see Patrick on his sports motorcycle, performing a jump on some grassy hills in a park or something alike. As soon as he lands, he loses control a little bit, but he manages to regain it. Someone asks him something. Perhaps if he has done it before. It sounds a bit accusing, like a mom would do if you did something dangerous. He claims he didn't.

» I'm at a house party. I'm not sure what happened anymore, but something tells me this would have been an interesting dream if I could recall more. I'm in a living room with a group of people. We're all a bit tipsy/drunk. I may have performed some magic.

» I'm on the beach of what seems a moderately deserted island. I'm with a woman and a kid I think, though I'm not sure. We don't really have anything to eat, so the woman decides it's best if we eat 'airfruit'. At first I think this is just a way of denying that we don't have anything to eat, but somehow some fruit appears from thin air. I think this dream had some details about the airfruit that made it really memorable. I should've written it down earlier though.

Jungle war
I'm on a tropical island that's not all too big. I'm on the side of a militia group. There's also another group on this island, though I haven't seen them. These groups are at war with each other. It's already dark and I'm in the jungle with a few men from the militia group. They are talking about exterminating the other group and conquering the island. Their talk makes me not want to be a part of their group anymore, as I don't like what they stand for. I'm not gonna tell them now though. A mission is about to start to destroy a building of the other group. It's a highrise building surrounded by a moat. A few man use something akin to the grappling hooks and swing back and forth like Spidey. I can't recall how anymore, but a fire starts on one of the upper floors, which seems big enough in size to be able to destroy the building in due time.

Odd adventure
I'm in the living room of my mom's house. My mom is also in the living room. I'm extremely frustrated. There's a crack in my glasses, despite me being so careful with them. In this dream my glasses look like the glasses of Le Corbusier.

Totally not related, but someone feeling as if it's part of the same dream, I'm driving either a bicycle or a moped through a sort of small park. I pass a boy that I seem to know. Perhaps a friend of my little brother.

At some point I'm driving on a road parallel to a highway, definitely on a moped now. I'm on a bridge, but there's a major problem. A part of it has sagged enormously and is actually so low as to be below the waterline. The bridge doesn't appear to be broken though. It's more as if the bridge is insanely flexible. I find it highly inconvenient, as there is no way that my moped's engine is going to survive that much water, but it doesn't occur to me to turn around. I wanted to wait it out, but something has caused me to move forward past the point of no return. Knowing it's not gonna help, I try to go as fast as possible, in the futile hope of using my momentum to get to the other side. I don't think it worked.

Vivid printing
I'm standing near a big printer, the type they have at the university. I don't recall there being anyone else. My document is being printed. It's a document that I have highlighted with a different colour on every page; blue, green, etc. The highlights on the printed document are very vivid, as if I used an actual marker after printing. Some pages have an excessive amount of highlights. There's a page where every single word is highlighted. I try to be quick about it. I don't want someone to catch me while I'm printing with this many highlights. I think my reasoning has to do with excessive use of ink. I try to put the pages in the correct order, but I drop a few. I pick them up and try again. It feels as if the ink is still wet, but there are no smudges anywhere.

Morning of November 29, 2015. Sunday.



In the first part of my dream, I am in an unfamiliar city setting. I walk out from an alley with an unknown male. I somehow (based on an implied back story) had previously lifted three sections of sidewalk, boulevard, and parking lot, complete with trees and vines that hang down. We walk under the hovering features, each about the size of one and a half lots. They are hovering about fifteen feet up. In the back of my mind, I am thinking that it is safe to walk under them since a part of me is likely still focused on them.

The main segment of my dream involves a style of dreaming that began when I was very young. In fact, it seems like some sort of continuation (at least on one level) from “Frankenstein Closes the World” from when I was only four years of age (April 9, 1965). It involves part of the setting being “blocked” like a continuous wall preventing access to a certain direction (in this case possibly north). Over time in my dreams, the number and type of “station keepers” changed. One of my first “station keepers” (as I refer to them) was probably the Frankenstein Monster (Boris Karloff version). That is the one that appears here. There are other elements that were more common when I was very young, including even the first part above with the hovering sections of the city (also beginning around age four). However, I actually “feel” about ten or eleven years of age in my dream.

Part of the situation seems borrowed from the original “Dark Shadows” board game I had when very young. It had a set of miniature plastic skeletons and a cardboard coffin. A recurring situation occurs here where “ancient papers” are found and I realize they had, instead, been very recently printed (this may be a play on a dream freshly rendering something implied to otherwise be “ancient”). In this case, there seems to be some sort of challenge to get into a mock mausoleum (though integrated into the high and long wall) but which at first seems like a “door to Satan”. Even this part stems from when I was very young. The other male, who seems to be interested in some sort of “contest” seems very wary about going up to the “door to Satan”, though in front of the door, there is something related to the contest or a rare potential discovery. I seem to remember that Satan does not exist and decide it is probably an archetype of the subconscious that we will be facing. I then remember that the subconscious does not exist as popularly defined (only different levels of awareness, both internal and external, including the supraconscious and the Source) and feel oblivious to any concerns the other male may have (even though I am not lucid).

As such, I go up to the wall with the recess (or short hallway) and a section of the wall comes out like a drawer, at ground level (this may be a play on post office associations, or a PO drawer since “I hug PO Virgo” is directly encoded in my full name and also the date of the original dream version was on my wedding anniversary years before it became as such). It has a coffin which is about one-quarter the size of an adult coffin. I open it, expecting to find macabre remains of some kind, and there are miniature “real” skeletons, one of a girl in fetal position with long white hair and only about five inches high. There are also a couple cartoon-like (unrealistic) skulls as well as some random debris and cobweb. It still seems somewhat “ancient”, but as mentioned earlier, the “ancient parchments” look freshly printed. This and another dream of this date had precognitive facets related to a false pregnancy (pseudocyesis) - which explains the miniature skeletal girl in the fetal position. Frankenstein, on the other hand (on one level), has become a symbol for normal people in mainstream society in relationship to pop culture, the media, and authority; lumbering and unintelligent.

Finally, I open the “door to Satan” and behind it is an extension of the hallway recess of the wall. Boris Karloff’s Frankenstein monster appears, walking mummy-like. He goes after the other male, but it is rather amusing. Both of them move slowly, somewhat like a slowed-down “Keystone Cops” event (also often written as “Keystone Kops”). I decide to see what is farther down the hallway, but the other male comes back around, moving in an arc around the left side of the wall and coming back from the other direction, with the horror movie monster in pursuit but not threatening me, just in the way. I avoid colliding with the stumbling creature and watch the “chase” passively.

[Notes]:
- So the first half of this takes place in my normal sleep, and the second after having tried WBTB for the first time.
- I can't be sure of the order of events in the first half, but I can in the second.

[Dream begins]:
I'm on this course out in the woods in the mountains. We're all practicing archery drills. See picture below. You shoot at a target, run to the target, and shoot the next one in a square path. I eventually finish up with a few and I go and hang out at the chillout spot, which was an open flat area that jutted out of the mountain we were on, so we could see all the other mountains. I talked with some people here; possibly AW?
Attachment 8898

Note: Throughout the dream I had been getting closer and friendlier with this AW, initials for a person I know. Now, in the dream it was a slightly different version of her, but it was still her.

I'm waiting for the morning bus, and it seems to be running late. I head up the hill towards where it should come from, and a couple things fly by... I think one of them was a hang glider. Eventually the bus comes over and I go and hop on (the middle line lunch lady is driving).

So I'm talking with AW. It turns out we both have to get out of school for some reason (dentist's appointment?) and be on the interstate (actually 13). Eventually I get out of school and hit the road with someone. It's raining really hard as we go eastbound, and we take a look at the toll booths as we go by. They had windshield wipers on them that were flapping vigorously so the booth people could see what the driver was doing. Eventually we're on our way back and we see each other in the road.

Suddenly, I'm at this abandoned industrial building with the rest of school, and suddenly we're all told to move into the building by Darth Vader and the emperor. A ton of troops surround us and direct us into the building. As I'm going up with WC, I'm holding a blaster and take a look out the window, thinking they were going to shoot me. They didn't. I lose the rifle and keep going up. Eventually I meet with S (and AH?) and we talk for a bit. SH is slapping his mom on the butt and she's slapping him on the abs and vice versa, telling each other how nice their butts and abs are... then SH tells her that it's the nicest part of her and goes back into the building. She goes and talks with us, and says "I'm not perfect?"

[Wake up.]

Note: At this point, I woke up in a natural awakening at ~7:45AM. I figured I'd try doing some WBTB since I figured I might still be able to have a dream. I logged the previous dream, then decided to go back to sleep with lucid dreams and goals in mind. For probably fifteen minutes straight I kept on waking up from discovering I was in HI dreamlets. Hopefully I can figure out how to get past this. Eventually, I had the following dream.

[Dream begins]:
Dad and I were going somewhere. I get in the SUV. Sweetie jumps up on the (other) SUV and I tell her to get off, then dad comes over and tosses her off, but she lands on the Leaf. Dad gets in with me and we start to drive away. She follows us down. I look back, and she's waving to us! She trots down by the creek pines and lays down and keeps doing it. Then I realize that it was a peacock making it look like she was doing that. We drive up the hill and dad says "Yep, she's a good dog". Then I thought about peacock feathers for a little bit (and a bundle of them).

I found myself in a mansion. I walk around for a bit and I find J from MPC chillin' in a closet. His mom is in the living room. I look at him and say, "Hey man, what's up?" He doesn't register me, and just keeps looking off into the distance. His mom scolds him lightly for being so rude to a visitor, and he acknowledged me. He pulls out two DVD's: one is Star Wars and the other is Star Trek. He says "Hey, at the next MPC meet we're gonna watch these." I look at him and his mom questioningly, and say "Yeah.... I don't think so..."

[Wake up.]

On 11/27/2015 I drank a whole bottle of new Amsterdam during the day and took 100 mg of 5 HTP before bed at 1 am. I had a very profound and interesting dream today.

At first I dreamed of flying towards a large super cell storm which had red color about it in a few places. In a dream a voice told me that the cloud had devils inside it or something like that. The dream changed and I was on the beach alone. Behind me were summer homes (dachas in Russian/Ukranian) it was weird because it looked like an American beach and behind me were Russian houses and plants. Another voice told me to shoot 3 times inside the storm to create a large wave in order to ride on it to another side of town. I remember again in the dream I was on the beach with a handgun pointing not just towards a storm cloud but a monster tornado in the ocean I shot 3 times as the tornado opened up and crated a massive wave that looked like it was about 100 ft in the air i remember i ran away from it and timed it perfecly and ended up in a different side of the town. I then went back to the beach and began to ride huge massive waves that I crated so I was not afraid despite them being really black and huge.

I also at some point in time looked to my left on the beach and noticed the tornado inside the water moved far away now but it was still creating massive weights for me which i kept riding and had fun with.

The dream was over and it almost seemed like really life in a few days I will use galantamine again at lower doses.

#480 - WILD/DILD - 4:38AM

After some time of trying to WILD (about and hour), I feel as if I am sitting more upright that I should be in the recliner. I feel as if my head is bobbing forward and to the side like I am consciously falling asleep. I worry about the headset falling off, but I try to relax and just go with it so I don't mess up the WILD. I quickly realize that I am probably not sitting this far forward and decide that I am already in the dream state. I wait a moment and begin to notice very mild vibrations in my body. I don't waste anytime here and think about getting up out of the recliner. When I do, my body effortlessly surges forward with a strange gasping/sucking sound; I wonder if that sound is just my breathing. I have the sensation of opening my physical eyes and worry about waking up, but my vision corresponds to my dream environment so I do my best to ignore the feeling. I walk to the kitchen. The room is dark and everything looks as it should. I decide I am in the dream far enough to give the left-right eye signals. I then turn and walk back across the room while doing the block-push-motion that I had practiced with the headset before bed. I am excited and curious if the computer picked up my dream actions, but I try to stay in the dream a little longer. I see Remy sleeping on the futon as he is in the waking world. The area around him seems extra dark and it's hard to tell what he looks like. Not having any other goal, I decide to wake dream Remy and see how he interacts with me. I as I move toward him my excitement of the experiment wakes me up.

+ on a driving trip, pulling in to a rest stop area. There are facilities, some are public, some are private, they seem like just lines of closets, some small, some large/long. One has cafeteria, guys with mugs with logos, enter, (talk to woman/), under a tent (wife?) is holding a giant bull penis, about 2 feet long and fist-thick and erect, it wobbles as if made of rubber, I'm standing by a fence, and she throws it at me and I barely dodge out of the way. Later I see the penis thing again with a bloody "bone" spot in the middle of its cross section where it was cut off on the bottom)

+ outdoors daylight, wide open empty plain, a guy is shooting a shotgun into the sky and the pellets are refelcting/falling back down off from the sky onto a large incline full of barrels and hitting the barrels. Then it's night and the guy warns of the jackals coming. I hear growling and see two little green reflective eyes in the distance. Start running and one is near me, I have no gun, it seems to be feigning injury, may be a trick, I'm fighting it off with a stick. The jackals dig into the sand like an arrow and launch themselves at you. Then it turns into a large human baby but I know it's a jackal, it's slippery, I'm at the edge of the sea and know I must down this thing. I get a grip and hold it under the waves, it struggles, I feel very uncomfortable about this as it looks like a human, it turns red, and becomes bloated and drowns and dies, the guy is which me and says "oh man do you think it was a real baby?" I say no, turn it upside down, it is a hollow plastic shell, empty inside except for some straps rolled up and taped against the insides, on the outer rim the words "Human Con" is written in small letters ("human container?"). I say "if this was real, there would be a stomach, heart, lungs, etc. in here".

+ ice skating rink: race (did I participate? I think I could do OK), following girl going counter-clockwise, doing front-crossovers, I'm on hockey skates, girl likes the center ice because it is smooth, it's for figure skating practice.

WBTB, long BTS, much day dreaming, find determination to sleep/dream more, eventually fall back asleep.

+ FA LD#155 I find myself awake in bed feeling frisky and "ready for action", so I turn to wife and start initiating contact, she seems receptive and we start embracing. Then I notice that across the living room out the window and into the neighboring house there is a figure standing at a window behind a thin curtain I think he's watching us, and very well may see us. So I get up and walk to the wall and close the curtains (the guy turns away as I do this?), return to bed (glimpse of other people walking in other rooms of our house?). I notice that there is a short curtain that has partially closed over the front of the TV set as well and think this is funny/interesting (it's in "solidarity" with the other curtain I just closed). My wife is then up and at the sliding glass door and lets in a little dog, she says something about someone bringing it for us, little dog comes running in, it's supposed to be just like our [deceased] dog L, he lifts his leg and pees on a scooter leaning against the wall near the bed. I think to myself, "now, if that dog looked more like 'L', I'd have to do a reality check!", I do a few nose pinches anyway, determine I can breathe, and get lucid. I immediately head out the sliding glass door to the garden and look around. I immediately see large rock formations against the back of the garden fence. They're very impressive. It is bright daylight outside. I walk to the center of the rectangular back yard, noticing all the stuff lying around, and remember my desire to narrate during LDs. I slow down and pay attention, and I start hearing birds chirping, it sounds and looks and feels *just like* a typical suburban garden. I start saying out loud what I see, "my old red/white/blue basketball [lying on the ground among the wood chips], a lovely BBQ, [turn around look behind me] pink flowers [like lilies, cone shaped] growing in a bush", I see a basketball hoop above the flowers. There is so much to see in this garden, if I narrate everything it will take the whole dream?! I see my wife walking ahead of me in the garden, still feel frisky, should I have sex with her? Decide: no.

I raise my eyes beyond the garden and see a neighboring house a ways across the hill, super tall (5-6 stories) and non-level sloping roof line sloping up from left [low] to right [higher]. I want to fly up to the roof of that house. I push off against the ground and aim my intention at the top of the roof. But instead, I go straight up very high into the air, several times higher than the roof of the neighbor house. I lose speed and start falling back down, and aim myself to the roof of the house and land there. It is a rich house with lots of security. I want to enter (there are hot girls in there?). The lock on the door seems like a game: you have to request something, do a quest, and return with the answer in order to get in, I think "screw that" and make a "throw away" gesture with my right arm and the door is ripped off its hinges. Inside, video game looking vague bad guys are shooting rifles/guns at me. I run through the hallway straight ahead, making squeezing gestures with my fists and they all "pop" and disappear. Then I know I have to face the boss of the place.

(discontinuity? Loss of lucidity)

I turn round a tight corner and enter a very small (one-two person) elevator, I know there's a girl there? There is, and I'm very excited at the prospect of making out with her. She is a petite "hostess" emo girl, not super pretty, with hair hanging down in front of her eyes. She seems annoyed/not welcoming attention. I face her and brush the hair off her face, she's wearing dark red lipstick and has a small mouth. She asks "How long will you want me for/will you be here?" She says that she was with a new customer "and [she] can make a lot of money." I take her in my arms and her whole body is trembling. I understand that the manager sent her to me, but that this interrupted her visit with another customer, I say "you're trembling, are you angry that you were interrupted?", (she indicates yes?), I talk to her and soothe her, tell her it's OK I don't want to take her from her other customer. I kiss her lightly on the cheek. I realize she's stopped trembling, (I say "see it's better now?"), elevator reaches the top, and I give her a light kiss on the lips, we go our separate ways. If the manager sees we're not together, he may get angry with her and she'd have to bring him to me, if that happens, I wonder if I should say she ditched me? No, won't do that.

Turn around, pass a manager telling waiter next to the kitchen to stop giving out breakfast menus (I see the pile and think I should take one because I want an omlet, but don't), keep going, enter large area (bowling alley?), just before I turn the corner I hear my instrument playing warm-ups, uh oh is it a rehearsal? I don't want to go, I'll tell them my instrument is in for repairs ["remember" this as being true anyway], sit down with group at a table, young guy waiter taking orders, look at menu seems to be pictures of burgers, I ask if breakfast is still available (I want that omelet!), he leaves to ask goes around corner, I say "bet he won't be back for 20 minutes". Briefly see plate of burger and fries on the table (then why did they order if they already have food?)

Went to bed later again as I was exposed to TV for the first time in a long while.. Where does time even go?
I'll have to restart my dream recall goal (3 dreams every night for 3 days in a row).

Dream - School trippin'
I was on a school bus, we were going on a field trip somewhere. I had a lot of bags (these were the bags that I had left in my flat to be picked up by a moving truck) and I remember unloading them from the bus storage. So many bags, I can't possibly move them in one go... I pick up 2 bags and follow along with everyone else, deciding to make a couple trips to get everything to wherever we're headed. I distinctly recall there being a very realistic sexy big breasted (she had a boob job) brunette woman (in her thirties?) at some point who was guiding me. I don't think she appeared to me in person, but may have been an image on my phone. She had no shirt or bra either . There was also another girl that was the same age as me, she was a strikingly beautiful voluptuous blonde. She gets replaced suddenly by a feminine looking guy with short brown hair... Wait a second... Is that a wig? I think to myself that I think it's actually the girl in disguise. I continue to a playground train which we're supposed to climb onto. It's literally a playground, yet it's somehow a train? I climb up the bar ladder on to the wooden platform, Katie tells me that I shouldn't hog all the space because of how many bags I have. I say that I won't... So bossy. I dump my bags into a corner and climb back down to the bark ground, Katie comes up to me again with 2 of my other bags. Huh? She went and brought my bags for me? "Thanks, how many bags are left?" I say, she responds by telling me there's 3 left (she says it in a way that makes me think she's feigning that she doesn't care, though it's really nice of her to help me out). I think to myself that 3 can't be right.. I should only have 2 more bags? I don't stop to think about this properly. I look at my phone and I see that sexy big breasted brunette woman again, she's in a .gif with the brown haired guy. The woman has her breasts bouncing left to right (they're huge ( . Y . )), the gif is pretty well-made but I can see where the frame resets, the guy isn't doing much except trying to look cool. I notice that there are 3 loops in the .gif, they each play twice before seamlessly switching to the next one. WHOA! Suddenly it switches again... I notice that the guy has turned back into that beautiful blonde, I knew it was a wig! She's in tight-fitting gym clothes with her stomach showing and she's swinging her hips from side to side. It's incredibly hot . The entire scene of seeing this .gif on my phone wasn't very long but it was very vivid and very intense. The end

Dream experience: 8 (pretty standard dream but the girls were incredibly vivid and the experience was quite intensive and has been on my mind most of the day)
Dream awareness: 2-3 (Not aware enough to be lucid, but I was aware of inconsistencies during the dream. Awareness reached ~3 during the .gif part due to vividness and emotions)

[Notes]:
- Yeah, so this dream happened somewhere between 6:30 and 8:12 this morning. I've begun to notice that simply noticing a natural awakening and taking a moment to be conscious really leads to some great dreams afterwards. I guess this is a really great example of the power of WBTB, although it's very minor and there was no lucidity involved.
- After writing this down, I noticed that my recall was quite vague. I still remember WHAT HAPPENED in the dream, just not quite in what order or where.
- I've snipped some stuff out... just remember that when you're reading this, future self!

[Dream begins]:
I might have been on my computer, surfing. There was something about someone who looked an awful lot like Miranda from Mass Effect. I get an urge and go to the bathroom. S hits me up and asks me out to a movie at the mall; currently I'm distracted with other things, but eventually I get to it.

So I'm in the mall, walking around with S, who is holding a bouquet of flowers throughout the whole dream for some reason. We get to this darkly lit, red, low-polygon room maybe 30 feet tall which is at a strange angle to the rest of the mall, and I realized afterwards (and during the dream) that I'd been to this place before. Previously it was at the back of the mall in a dark corner, but it was an arcade in both cases I'm pretty sure. At some point I suddenly teleport to the bathroom where I finish up at this toilet that was actually a sink with a mirror... in the middle of the room. Someone gives me crap about it. Yeah, I don't know.

Meanwhile, S continues to hopelessly/desperately hold the bouquet of flowers and the relationship feels kinda awkward and tense throughout the dream.

[Dream ends...]

[Notes]:
- Although it was a bit spotty, this dream felt very epic. If only I became lucid!!
- My recall has been pretty great lately! I've been recalling a lot of old dreams as well as new, so that's probably helping.
- This dream was packed with that epic, euphoric feeling of adventure and exploration; haven't had that in a long time.

[Dream begins]:
I'm talking to Mr. Benjamin. He's in a buckled top hat for some reason, and his room is very Christmas-ey with decorations all over the place. I don't know why I'm taking to him, but whatever. We get off the subject of academics and he tells me about something I might be interested in, that I should do. He hands me a bag of coal (a kind of payment I guess) and tells me about magic, and about these people in town that I could join up with and help out.

I soon find myself wandering in the suburbs near the city center, and I'm with this group of people. Antonio is among them. He's wearing a scarf. So I'm with these people heading south (I think; you know how dreams are). There are quite a few dilapidated houses, and we decide to stop at one. The walls are practically falling apart, and there's an uneven dirt floor. A dividing wall blocks us from the kitchen to our right. t's full of these members of some other clan. We walk in and the tone changes immediately, like we're about to fight. We invite ourselves into their conversation (we might have been there to steal something) and blend in for a little while. Then things get heated and we're shooting magic at each other (i.e. blue bolts of light). I get out of the house from the kitchen pretty quickly and get to the corner on the opposite side of the street to regroup with my people. The other clan kinda shouts us out and we start walking northbound. Eventually, I find myself in some city center at a hot dog joint eating (I only remember this in first person at this point).

[Dream ends.]