memorable

Had a very realistic dream of me just getting up out of bed and doing my business. Forget what alerted me to the dream, but I was suddenly doing an RC and realized I was dreaming. The dream nearly faded, but I managed to hold on to it. I spent the rest of the dream looking around my room noticing how realistic everything looked and kept having to RC to make sure I wasn't actually awake.

Very cool realistic dream.

Before I wen to sleep that night, I chanted in my head "I will have a lucid dream with Matt Bellamy" over and over. My friend told me that can help increase your chances of getting a lucid dream.
Unfortunately, I didn't get a lucid dream. However, towards the end of the dream, I was in my living room. I turned and looked out the back door, and I saw Matt Bellamy.For some reason, his left foot was backwards, so he was limping. He looked like a zombie I flipped out and ran outside to help him. I gave him a big hug, obviously we made out for a bit and then I helped fix his foot. I don't remember anything after that, so I guess I woke up.

Dream 1:

There was something about forest and then some kind of weird cartoon scene. Then i was playing some game that i was thinking was Dino Crisis, but it was completely different, for one it was an FPS, though dinosaurs were here and i had to battle through some levels, mostly indoors of some kind of a bunker and some purple outside area. One of my abilities was apparently ability to place projection forcefield like champion's from AI War. Then i have found some friendly people and we were traveling around the ocean using an medium-sized ship.
Eventually we have found an facility of some kind, right in the middle of the ocean, it was strange and looked abandoned. I got in and had to do a few puzzles as well as to deal with a few dinosaurs, while the rest were guarding the ship. Soon i got to some kind of reactor area, there were some important documents which i picked up and also i have found another friendly squad, which was stuck there for a while. After a bit of talk reactor started overheating and we had to get out of there, and at the same time, some weird creatures that looked like combination of dinosaur with some kind of an insect, started coming out from everywhere. They were really quick and overpowered and i was thinking that "AI is really better there than Nintendo 64 version".
The squad i found was killed but i managed to get outside. The creatures that attacked us were swarming all over the facility and ship was way too away, but i have managed to find the flight powerup that looked like a yellow-ish metallic sphere. I was flying around really quick, but the powerup was hard to control on changing direction, i got to the ship but suddenly T-Rex appeared that could walk on water, right near the ship. The squad started the fight with it while i was flying around fighting something else, there also were alot of flight and water walking powerups scattered a round the ocean that helped me in fight. After defeating it i flied towards the ship and noticed that T-Rex was stuck in some telescope thing. I thought that even if AI is better, things like this can happen. And just waited around till the time we needed to survive ended. Then dream faded out.

Dream 2:

I was recording some game, can't recall what exactly but i feel like it was some kind of FPS. Then i took a bathroom break and then went to play a game that looked like Far Cry, i was playing not an actual level though, was just flying around in the editor. Then i loaded some map and it was somewhat unfinished. I made level start in some unfinished place for testing purposes and there were alot of crates full of weapons and i could carry more than usual four, icons were alot different too. One of weapons was Sniper version of Heavy Machine Gun, that had even more zoom in than sniper rifle, but still low accuracy. I was testing it in more finished part of the level and it was not really effective. Then i woke up.

Date: 7 May

During day: Re-energized by consuming lots of fruits

Pre bed: 3mg melatonin

WBTB duration: 16 mins, woke myself too much, hard time falling back asleep

WBTB: 2x peppermint oil tablets (200mg each)

Recall method: Woke pen-noted an almost illegible description during WBTB for Dream2, briefly reviewed in mind when back to bed

Fragment1: A large spider and then other insects, one was like a bee, I am trying to kill them, smashed them successfully

Dream2 DILD: My father has given me the task of preparing some kind of report for him. I am browsing in a chemistry textbook with different substances and after each substance there is a lengthy regression. My father wants a list of the substances only, which I don't think is right. He is annoyed that I am so slow and still not ready. I move on and jump over some furniture and see my grandma. I begin to explain that the regressions are the most important part in this report.

I continue on my way, and now am in something similar to a trailer with a friend of mine. Obviously she is keeping some items of mine there, one carton box with my stuff, that I want to take on my way. We talk about something. I notice that there is a wounded cheetah on the table. Actually there is no sign of wound but I know it is tired. I play with its tail, and caress it. It purrs and gently rubs its soft head and body on my hand. It is very enjoyable for both of us. I discuss the cheetah with someone, pointing out that it is the fastest creature on earth.



I then move on, I find myself in another place and someone tells me that my friends, and lists a number of people I supposedly know, are dead in another part of the city. Obviously machines have taken over the city and are destroying it. I look outside the window and see construction machines falling into an abyss. I have a bit of a paranoia from the machines because I know that they will soon come to destroy this part of town. I become desperate and say something like " I am so tired of such situations when I think that I am dreaming, but I am not, later it is a dream, then it is not!". I decide it is time to leave the place, and walk out a door. I notice a coca cola label sticker, but there is a poem on it. Perhaps I should leave something behind, I wonder, but there really is no point.

I am going to fly scout the area, to see if the machines are still in that part of town. I stretch my hands horizontally, like a cross, and then lift off in this position. I have good control of my movement this time, but still flying too high is a bit of challenge, it has to do with the vision of the ground below me.

It is hard to look down and perceive the flight distance and control the flight at the same time, but I fly in the direction that I desire. I am also lucid at this point. At above skyscraper height, I fly now forward, over an area with some water, HK in my mind, and look for a place to land. I have completely forgotten about the machines. Then the word "tasks" emerges in my mind and I remember I have work to do. For a second the thought crosses my mind that I may not have the time to do any tasks, but then answer myself that DV people won't mind that because I still had a good time flying.

As I land, I feel some kind of a string release me, I am then on the ground. I look at the DC in front of me. He is rather unpleasant but I accept this, his faces changes and he is now more beautiful and smiling. There is a DC woman to my left, but I pay little attention to her. I think at that point I may have had the gut feeling that this dream is coming to an end, and decide to stabilize before starting on any tasks. I remember to shout something and it feels a bit more stable. Then I throw myself on the ground, feel it as much as possible with my hands, little stones, etc. and as if that isn't enough, I decide to lick the ground. I also lick some kind of trash a blue thread, it tastes like rubber. I find this last part disgusting and decide to spit out. Saliva comes out of my mouth and at that moment I feel my physical lips moving. Before I have any time to react I find myself in my bed, still with my eyes closed, but very aware of my physical body. I feel there is no point to DEILD so I head for the journal.

Note: This wake was a few minutes before the WBTB alarm. I decide to use this wake as WBTB, take notes, visit restroom, wonder whether I should try the menthol tablets, have two tablets. The whole thing takes about 16 mins but I am too awake as I go back to bed. I wonder what to do from here...I decide I might cycle a bit to help me sleep but as I start with sight my mind shuts down and I begin drifting off, while still having awareness of my body. I cannot do even one cycle. It may sound like a good state to do WILD, but it isn't that good. I spent one hour in a semi-conscious borderline state where I occasionally saw and withdrew from dreamlets, yet wasn't dreaming, but rather laying there half-aware of my body and fully aware that I can't fall asleep. The tablets or the earlier wake gave me mild heartburn as well. I finally managed to fall asleep but then it was time to get up...

Dream3 mini-lucid: Together with some guys, this time we are on a flying machine, initially like a retro airplane, I am trying to control its movements, but it is hard. We are going to a conference related to technology, and approaching a block where this is taking place. I see a parking place for flying machines and land this now spacesuit? there. I hope nobody steals it while we are away. I look for number ten part of the building, we must be really close. There is also a McD in the building, which explains why there are so many people around. To my left is Justin Bieber, I am moderately happy. I am lucid for a very short while thinking about the peppermint oil tablets I took and whether they affect my experience. The alarm wakes me up.

Note: Happy about the first lucid, despite the fact that couldn't do any tasks. I feel this was at the end of the early more memorable REM cycles. The second lucid was very short so I am not including it in my count.

Ok. I was floored by this. But first, my routine. I went to bed a little after 1am (bad I know, but I knew I could sleep in). And I had my mind on the lay and egg TOTM for days now. Woke up at 7am for the kids, then it took me at least an hour to get back to sleep. I woke up again, then fell asleep again. As I did, I thought about that egg..

I drifted off, and was suddenly aware that I was at work, in the PFDS department. I saw a woman walk up to me, and it hit me that I had just fallen asleep like 2 seconds ago. (note: This is happening to me more and more lately. Instead of WILDing seamlessly from awake to lucid dream, I'm losing my awareness for a few seconds, while the dream forms itself, then I quickly realize that I was just falling asleep in my bed a few seconds ago. No vibrations or HH that I'm aware of. Just a super quick DILD. No complaints.)

Anyway, I fell the dream slip a little upon awareness, so I just focus on the woman coming up to me which helps. The lay an egg task bursts into my mind, so I ask her point blank, "Hey, wanna watch me lay an egg?" She stops and says, "Ok..?" I pull my pants down just to my knees and squat. I push but not too hard (some of you members brought up the accident thing and apparently it crept into my dream, spanks a heap!).

But then I suddenly woke up (or so I thought). I was lying on the bed on my side, facing Danny, and I felt my pants fill up with something warm. Oh shit. I said "Oh no, I just tried the egg task and I think I crapped myself!" I told Danny. He laughed and said he didn't even want to know. I felt so embarrassed, but at the same time, it didn't really feel like poop in my pants. More like, wadded up cloth. So I reached down the back of my pants and felt what seemed to be some wadded up material. I pulled it out and it was a purple t-shirt with Disney characters on the front, dressed in Halloween costumes. At this moment, I believed that I had somehow carried something from my dream into reality. Danny asked me what the hell it was. I just said forget it and tossed the shirt onto the floor, feeling really confused. But then he got up and took it, and when I asked what he did with it, he said he threw it "over the ledge." Ledge, what ledge? Suddenly he was a black man, WEARING the shirt I had just laid. And our bed was suddenly a table with weird food all over it, that I was furiously trying to sort through. All this confusion finally reached a hilt and I questioned my reality.

I'm still fucking dreaming. I pooped a shirt but it was still in the dream! I looked at black Danny, and the second basic task popped into my head:

Me: Hey, I'm dreaming and you're a character in my-
Him: SHUT UP!!!!!
Me: Heh, ok you're a dream character and this is MY-
Him: No YOU'RE A DREAM CHARACTER!!!!!!
Me: No, YOU are a character in MY dream dumbass
Him: *pinches the spot where his nose meets his forehead, as if he has a horrible headache*
Me: Careful, this is where my DCs' heads usually explode. *I makes gesture with my hands of an exploding head*
Him: *jolts in surprise, but head doesn't explode*
Me: Hehee, keep the shirt*

Ok there's more, stay with me folks. I walked away, and got to this "ledge", which was an open stairwell like in a mall. As I was just about to descend, a few guys were coming up the stairs. The one in front looked like a young Baldwin - extremely delicious. The two behind him said something to the effect of "Yeah, he's new, and is the guy in charge now." I just grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. I could tell he was inexperienced, which just made him hotter. We were making out hard, and it was like the rest of the dream environment was gone except for him. He just seemed so hungry for this, which was such a huge turn on.

Spoiler for WARNING: sexually explicit:

It wasn't long before I unbuttoned his pants, ripped my own off, and began banging him on the stairs. The kissing was incredible, incredible incredible... I couldn't get enough! In a few moments, we were on soft, silky grass outside, sparking in the sun. But I was getting really really bored wtf! So I asked him if he wanted to turn over and try it another way. So he turned over on his belly and I switched to a dude. But he vanished. This ticked me off because I was a dude, and pretty hard too. So I grabbed the first DC near me, who was a really pretty blonde woman with long curly hair. I turned her over and starting doing her, but again... nothing. I felt nothing. I got up and started wandering around, remarking on how this dream was pretty long for a lucid. I didn't think about any more goals, I just wanted to wake up.

Spoiler for WARNING: sexually explicit:

So I did.

* I didn't really say "Keep the shirt" but I wish I had! I thought it added to the humor.

I recalled this dream upon awakening at 6am:

In this dream I took an iT class. The instructor was a feminist, and I was her favorite student.

I befriended a male fellow student, and during breaks we would go to restaurants together. he was color blind, and could not tell green and blue apart. After the final day of the course was over, he said he could not join me at a restaurant because he had other plans. I followed him for a while, but then gave up, and found a restaurant of my own to dine in.

There was too much cigarette smoke. I sat down. A little girl sat down next to me. She had a binder of art supplies, so I showed her that I also had an art supplies binder much like hers. Another girl came. She stood there next to us. She noticed a really cool sticker that was kind of 3D lying on the bench beside me. The new girl wanted to have the sticker. And the girl sitting next to me wanted it too. But there was only one sticker.

I contemplated whether to tell them that neither of them could have it because it was probably forgotten there by some other little girl who might return for it. Or whether to use Salomon's solution: suggest that we divide the cool sticker in half, and see whether either girl is willing to part with the entire sticker rather than to distort it by dividing it.

------

I could have sworn I remembered another dream at same time upon wake up, but it disappeared.

Side note: That last part of the dream made me smile because it is about such a typical parenting dilemma. I've got two boys not two girls, and in the dream the girls were not supposed to be mine, but this situation is one that as a parent I have encountered many a time: there is only one and of course both want it.

Around 12:30 (so only after first sleep cycle of the night) woke up with this dream:

It was decided that I shall have a baby, but I do not give birth but receive e baby fully formed. She is a baby girl. there are issues: too much light falling on the cradle, too much movement of the cradle contraption that she sleeps in. For a moment the baby in the contraption in light looks otherworldly.

I need to cover the baby with some sort of rigid screen so she is out of sight. To access her, I need to go around her cradle. On the other side is the bed of her Hindu nanny and the Nanny's son. The nanny accuses me of my being there means that her services are no longer needed. I reassure her that they are, but that I just need to nurse the baby. they are surprised that I wish to nurse her.

For a moment the baby seems too old to be a baby, and maybe threatening looking. She can talk! First she says she needs to go to the bathroom, but when she realizes that I meant to nurse her, she is ravished. First she latches onto my arm, apologizes, and latches onto my breast instead. I am confused as to her age. Is she a baby who can talk, or is she older and if so, should I nurse her? But why would she be that small if she is older. Andher eyes appear wiser than her apparent age.
-------
I believe this dream tone metaphorical: are my ideas old or new? Do they threaten others? Am I right to nurture these ideas? they can speak for themselves, and yet are helpless without my nurture. I think this dream was inspired by discussions of spirituality on DV.

Also I have been reading Greek mythology to my sons, and the idea of fully formed daughter (Athena) and baby that can talk (Hermes) was probably based on that.

Last night I had my second Lucid experience!

It was a really unique dream... I had full control, however I didn't realize I was dreaming - I just accepted I was all powerful. I was a private investigator in a huge city, and a bit through my dream I developed God-Like powers. I could do anything.

I used these powers and became a super hero, hunting down my nemesis for the length of my quite-long dream. It was great. The dream was populated with thousands of DC, just like a real city, and it was incredibly vibrant. I found myself on a rooftop bar after my nemesis had narrowly escaped, and something about the place made me think... Wait... Am I in a dream? I realized that I was dreaming, and I got incredibly excited because I had all these wonderful powers. I looked at a table where my friend was sitting and did a Darth Vader force choke at it, and it began to shake. I still had my powers! I remembered a quote from Sageous that said I should forget entirely about stablizing because it actually more often than not led to destabalization. So instead I jumped off the huge Sky Scraper I was on and landed softly on the ground. My friend followed me, with Frozone type powers from the Incredibles. I began to sprint as fast as I could down the street, cars and headlights blurred into a single line as I broke the sound barrier. Suddenly, my friend pointed out our nemesis running a bit ahead of us and I was sucked back into the dream, consumed by the chase. I was still vaguely aware that this was a dream, but I didn't take control again, probably because it was so fun!

What a great time!

I meditated for a half an hour an hour before bed, and took one 5mg Melatonin. Then before bed I did an in-depth MILD, by stating my intentions. Very cool!

Date: May 6, 2013
Sleep Time: 6 hours
Lucid Dream Technique: MILD & WBTB

Dreamed I was taking care of what I believe was a flea. I cared a great deal for this flea. There was an emotional attachment so strong, I felt like this flea was a part of me. My love and commitment for this flea was tremendous! I cared for this flea like a mother loves and adores her child. I provided comfort, security, and attention everyday to the flea. Even though I could barely 'see' this flea with my naked human eye, I knew this flea existed and I knew this flea was a 'life.' Then, one day, I anxiously came home and went looking for the flea and to my astonishment, my flea was nowhere to be found. I mourned for what seemed a lifetime, for my love was gone and no more...I cried forever.

Note to self: What the hell ???

Lucid
((The parts where I see him as Liam and become Saja feel different, like I'm on the edge of being lucid, but I don't make any choices. I just have clarity.))

The beginning is a little hazy. I was a member of an archeological dig in the desert. A man from the government came in to

find a missing woman and debunk our findings. He was being an irritating, arrogant ass, who kept ignoring facts and wouldn't listen to me.
There's a tent pitched alongside a wall, the wall looks like it belongs to the outside of the house I grew up in in MA. Out of the corner of my eye I see a dirt floor and observe all the 7x10 photographs tagged to the canvas. The government agent, Jack, is speaking to a blond woman who pins another photo up and then exits the tent. It annoys me that he's still following the evidence this way, because he's ignoring the danger. He has his back to me, he's wearing a black suit, white shirt, with a thin black tie. He considers the line of photographs, hands on his hips.

I can't help myself. "Still refusing to follow the facts, I see." I say to him. He turns around and drops his eyes to the floor, smiling

a little.

"Oh. Hello again, Brenna." ((I've never been a Brenna before. Huh.)) He ignores my jab and looks after the blond woman

as she makes her way down the narrow canvas hall. "I was sad to see that she had dyed her hair."

"Oh? Why's that?"

"I have a particular weakness for women with black hair." He gives me a significant look, it's almost playful. He's giving me the

option to ignore it. It's only then I realize that I'm Saja. My hair is waist length, black and wavy. I'm even wearing one of her dresses, the hem falls mid-calf, it's a spring green-yellow with a white apron. I draw my hair over one shoulder and smile. He walks over to stand beside me and examines another line of photographs. As he crosses the floor, the wind snaps the canvas overhead creating gaps for the sunlight to stream in. Where it shines on his hair, it makes it look less brown and more red. The longer I look at him the more red there is. He suddenly reminds me of Liam. It's only when he's standing next to me that I realize he's the right height, too. Before I had seen him as my enemy and would not allow myself to find him physically appealing, but he's opened a door and I can't ignore it. Because he looks like Liam.

I turn to face the wall of photographs. They all look the same to me. It's dimly lit snow with a faded splash of blood.

"Well. As long as we're sharing. I can't help but notice how much red you have in your hair...and I have a certain fondness for

redheads." I stare at his profile while he looks at the pictures, and see a smile tug at the corner of his mouth.

I fix my gaze on the pictures, pretending to look at them, knowing that as I turned away he looked over to study my profile.
"Look at us. Being civil. Can't have that, can we?" He comments wryly. "Why did you come here?"
"I want to try one more time to help you see the truth, Jack."
"Brenna." his tone is sharp, warning. His expression turns cold. "I don't have time to listen to your tripe."
"TRIPE?" I exclaim, suddenly outraged. "Oh YES. Why bother with facts when you can make up whatever story you like!"
"You were falsifying your findings and when you needed proof that these 'creatures' exist, you murdered a young girl to fit your story."
"You are so incredibly wrong. How can anyone stand to be around you?"
"Well, naturally I'm offended by deception. Honest people get along with me nicely."
"Oh, I'm sure." I snap sarcastically.

There's a lapse. It's after dark. I'm fleeing the tent because I've stolen evidence. Jack caught me at it and is pursuing me with ill

intent. I also overhead him talking about the undercover agent in our unit that was meant to disrupt the core stability of our group, to try to suss out who exactly the murderer is. The landscape looks like the yard outside the house in MA. Where there is a small hill leading down into the neighbor's yard, the lawn fades into sand and the landscape becomes a desert.
I'm barefoot and I can feel the cool sand under my feet. I get a brief bird's eye view of his pursuit. I'm shouting over my shoulder as I run.

"How can you be so willfully blind? When all the evidence is right in front of you!" The dune to my left is, I know, actually a

sphinx that has been swallowed by the desert. I run my hand along the front paw, clearing it of sand. There's some sort of creature nesting between its front legs, close to its chest. I eye the thing and hope it hasn't noticed me. A little ways further there's a stone wall and a line of open doorways. I think I've lost him for now. I jog up the next dune and at the bottom of the following valley is our research and living trailer.
I'm inside now. I pass a guy who looks exactly like Sendhil Ramamurthy. I ask him where Nate and the new girl went off to and he says to the kitchen.

"Will you get them for me, I just found something interesting." He says.

Attachment 4750 I suck at describing this crap, so I made another layout. I cross the living room and go to hall, the door to the kitchen is slightly open and Nate has his back to the door and the new girl, who is Jack's undercover agent. She doesn't feel right somehow, she is raising a large kitchen knife.

"HEY." I say loudly. They both turn around, she drops the knife and looks a little embarrassed. "Looks like we found something.

You wanna follow me?"

They follow me back to Sendhil. We act like I didn't just find the new girl about to murder Nate. Sendhil talks about how he

just found some proof that our group had been infiltrated, but we won't know by who until we can get all the hands together in the morning. The new girl looks extremely awkward, I wonder why I'm not saying anything.

"Jack is on his way here."
"We can meet him outside if you need some time." The girl offers.
I grin at her a little, her cheeks flush. "Sure. Whatever you like."

There's a lapse. Sendhil is trying to show me something, it's a really confusing image. We're looking at something like a mirror

or a tv screen. There a thin metal frame around it and it glows a dim blue. He's sitting right behind me, chin on my shoulder, urging me to look and see for myself.
I see my own face, and his. I can't really remember what happens here. I notice the shape of my eyes, and the curve of my jaw.

There's another confusing moment after another lapse, he says he's going to meet Jack outside. I say I'm going to follow but

when I pass the mirror in the living room I'm a fat young man with pale green eyes and cork-screw curly hair. Then I try to put on my shoes but I forget my socks, and my shoes are shaped all funny. They look more like a walking cast. I don't want to get sand in them when I go outside. So I take them off and try to find socks...

There's another lapse and the story picks back up. I have traveled to a snowy place up north, I have tipped Jack off, telling him

that if he follows me there he will find the proof I've tried to convince him exists. That the woman he thinks I've murdered is actually here and alive. I meet him outside the house, he's huddled next to the wall. I sit down across from him.

"Oh, I didn't realize you'd be here." He says.
I let him pretend I wasn't the one who gave him the tip, and remain silent.
"He said he'll come get me. The girl wakes up every morning at the same time, like clockwork."
"I'm glad you're here." I whisper.
"Are you? Well. There's that at least." he pauses. "We're on different sides."

He looks so much like Liam that I forget he's Jack. "LIAM." I say, leaning forward so my nose is almost touching his. "Do you really think I care about that?"
He doesn't look startled or confused that I used the wrong name. He meets my eyes squarely and shakes his head once, just a little. I can feel my name on his lips. I want him to say it. He's never used my name in the dream.
I will him to call me Saja.
He opens his mouth like he's going to speak and then closes it.

"At least put your arms around me, then?" I say, disappointed.
"I..."
"It's cold."
"I can't."
I want to kiss him on the cheek but I don't. "Fine."
"I'll...see how things play out."
"As you wish."

He smiles a little but he looks sad. We hear the front door of the weathered shack open and we go inside. The girl we have come here to see, lost her fiance out in the snow. They thought she would die. Physically she recovered, but once she woke she would just do nonsensical things and spout gibberish.

"Can we speak with her?" Jack asks.
"You can try." Says her grandfather. "I'll give you ten minutes." He leaves the house and we proceed in trying to talk to her.

I don't remember any of what she says, but she goes over to this small round table by the door.

"You might want to be car---" she deliberately runs into it. "Yes. That's right, keep running into the table."

She and picks up the lamp, "You might want to not---" she then leans forward and knocks her head against it. Hard. "Okay, sure. Knock yourself out."
Jack kind of rolls his eyes at my sarcasm.

"I don't think we'll get anything useful from her, do you?" I ask him.
"I'm gonna talk to the grandfather again."

Now the girl is laying on the table, cuddling with the lamp, her head hanging off the edge. Her skin has an unhealthy blue cast and her eyes look strange.

"Odd are the hours that meet us at the gate." She says. I frown at her.
"What gates?"
"The ones on the edges. IT lives beyond the gates. Follows every grain."

She's really freaking me out and I get the sense that she actually did die out in the snow and whatever THIS is, is no longer human. She's changing into something else. Her lips look blue. She reaches out and grabs the front of my shirt. I tear it out of her grasp and join Jack outside. I'm am done with this creepiness.
He gives the grandfather his best and we start to leave.

"I guess that settles it. You didn't murder her."
"Someone sure did."

He stops me and gestures at my shirt. There's a splash of luminescent blue on the front. Just beyond him I see two tonberry trundle out from the darkness, carrying their lamps and stylized blue knives. There's a glowing blue orb on the ground, they're attracted to it. One of them starts to come toward me. Jack pivots and sees the tonberry.
"Uh oh."
We watch as the second tonberry viciously stabs the blue orb and absorbs its energy. The other one stops in front of me and makes a weird keening noise. I take off across the snow.
"What are you doing?" Jack hisses after me.
"I'm running ya moron. I'll be fine."
The tonberry follows me to the edge of the lake. Running is fluid, so easy. I dive in, and hear a splash as it moves out into the water. Swimming is even easier, I glide effortlessly through the water until I reach the other side and leap to the bank. There's a large snowdrift there, and on the other side I know is the road. I climb over the drift and fall into the snow on the far side startling three strange turkey-peacock creatures into flight. There are three giant zebras in the road. They are the size of draft horses, I know they are extremely aggressive. I grab a handful of snow and pelt the zebra stallion's flank hard, and then dive into a snow drift to hide.
A second later the tonberry bursts through the snow hill I climbed over, the stallion is offended, thinking that the tonberry hit it with a snowball...so the zebra tramples the hell out of it.

Gleefully triumphant that my plan worked, I wake up.

May 05 - 8:56 a.m

Sitting in a casino with lavish surroundings with a guy who looks like Birdman. He had rings on all fingers and lots of diamond chains on. He had diamonds in his teeth, i was sitting across from him in the casino environment talking with him and i got to see an in depth look into his lifestyle. At first i thought he was on hard drugs the way he was talking to me because he talked like he was putting little effort to pronounce the words, very quiet and mumblish. Once he took his glasses off and looked into my eyes i got the feeling he wasnt on hard drugs, he was just the most intelligent being ive ever seen, it was an intence feeling seeing his eyes, its even hard to describe. He had cataract looking eyes , they were very glazed , very bright light blue eyes, they looked like ice almost. He told me" Never take from the earth. Don't even touch it unless you absolutly need it, even if some1 is offering it to you. Crazy feelings. I woke up right after he said that because my window was open and i was freezing.

i keep dreaming about the sun and sun related things, like his cataracts. Ive been looking at the sun for 2 weeks now and i have filthy rich people show up in my dreams recently.

I arrive in Haven with the hopes of plotting against the Templars.
Although I have no new ideas on how to approach the situation, Silver might.

He joined us just a few days ago, because I put off asking him until then.
After attempting to make Ifrit join our cause, which failed quite dramatically,
I did not have the confidence to ask Silver.

Silver had done so much already, not to mention his horrible childhood.
He deserves to rest... to enjoy life a little. I shouldn't burden him with my issues.
But I ended up visiting him anyways, because I felt lost completely.
I'm not sure what I was expecting when Yuya and I got to the place he lives at now.
Talking to him again ended up being a little awkward. I wasn't really sure what to talk about.
Right as I managed to muster enough courage to address the topic of the Templars
I saw something that completely threw me off.
A woman entered the house holding a baby. She nodded at us and continued upstairs.
I realized Silver had a family now.
I made up an excuse to leave. I could never ask him to join us,
not after knowing Silver was finally at peace with himself.
But as we left he told us to hold on.
He ran upstairs and shortly after returned with his katana strapped to his back...
It turned out that he had read in my eyes that I needed his help.
I tried to talk him out of it but I failed.

So here he is now, standing in Yuya's garden next to a table, a place where we like to sit down
and discuss tactics. He is talking to Yuya and another person I don't think I have met.
Yuya's expression worries me quite a bit.

"What's wrong?"
"... It's about Vega."

Given the way she said it, something terrible must have happened there.
Vega is a small village which we often visit to go to a Café called Serenity.

It's situated on top of some sort of structure extending over the village.
An amazing place to stargaze whilst under the influence of some kind of psychedelic drug Vega is known for.

"What happened?"
"It's gone."

It is clear to me now that the other person with us is a messenger who informed her about the terrible news.
He tells us that I need to go and see. Yuya draws a portal and we enter it together with Silver.

The remains of Vega are in flames. They are small in numbers, they must have been burning for some time.
A man points towards Café Serenity, which still sits on top of the structure which appears to have withstood the fires.
He doesn't say anything though, he just walks away. Did he live in Vega?
We rush towards the Café, finding both of its owners outside.
Although the building still stands, it is heavily damaged and no longer in a usable state.
The owners tell me not to worry. That it is not my fault.
I enter the Café. Across the walls is written in burned wood:

"For as long as the dragon remains hidden, those that help protect him shall share his fate"

Templars... they've done this. Yuya hugs me in an attempt to console me.
They have killed these people because we are hiding from them. To show that if I do not reveal myself they will kill those that I know.

"They are right you know. This is not your fault..."
"Yet I feel guilty"

I know that she's right. I couldn't know that they were going to do this. And even if I did, what was I supposed to do, sacrifice myself?
The owners of this Café were honest when they told me that they do not consider this my fault.
They know who I am and what I have done. But somehow the fact that they do not consider me guilty makes me feel even worse.

One thing is clear to me now though. The goals of the Templars have indeed changed.
Back in the old days they were attacking other worlds in order to steal something I have long forgotten.
They did not know who I was, and it was me that got in their way because I wanted to protect these worlds.
But this time they are not after the belongings of worlds. They are after me specifically.
This is very odd, considering that Templars have no concept of campanionship.
Yes, I have indeed killed one of them a long time ago, but they would not hunt me in an attempt of vengance.
They know no such thing. They see each-other as assets, not as brothers in arms.
Until now I assumed that they are attempting a pre-emptive strike. So that I can not interfere with their goals again.
But in that case I would be a secondary objective, and I am clearly not.

That is exactly what the voices said...
Recently, when I slept in Haven, I would hear voices during my dreams.
They would whisper things suggesting that "they" were after me only. That it was because of time? And that I cannot surrender.
The messages were rather cryptic, and I didn't pay much attention because until now my dreams whilst in this realm have always been
very abstract and not really meaningful. But now that I think about them I get a feeling that they might help me find a way to deal with the Templars.
...
My hopes lie with abstract and cryptic dreams I had within a dream. That is how desperate I am.
No. It's worse actually. If the Templars were here it means they are on the right track.
Surely they were able to force someone into telling them that we are hiding on Teraluna.
It won't take them long to find that place, even though Haven is heavily shielded and we are masking our auras.

"They will find Teraluna..."

Both Yuya and Silver look at me rather depressed. I am the one who always comes up with the plans. They are relying on me for a strategy to save Teraluna... to beat the Templars once and for all.
And I've got nothing.

"Silver, knowing only the name of the moon, how long would it take you to find Teraluna?"

He's unreasonably good at finding things.
He sighs.

"The location of Teraluna is a rather well kept secret. The library is of great importance, protecting it is easier if its location is not known."
"Unfortunately there are many stories about it, some of which hint at its location."
"If I would try hard enough I'd probably find it in less than a week."

Less than a week? How am I supposed to do anything within that time frame?
And it's not like evacuating Haven and going into hiding somewhere else is a solution without removing the Templar thread.
They would manage to hunt some of the inhabitants down somehow.
Not to mention the library. It is of great importance, and they would burn it to the ground.
And then there are other things... even more crucial things.
Teraluna cannot fall.

The three of us combined aren't able to deal with a single Templar, yet there are 12 of them left.
Even if I had my dragon spirit and the phoenix essence back, it would be utterly hopeless.
And besides Ifrit I don't know anyone remotely as strong as us, yet I would need an army.
Perhaps death is catching up with me.

"Don't you dare even thinking about surrender."
"... I won't."

Silver is looking at me, probably expecting me to reveal some kind of backup plan I had all along.
Something insane enough that it might just work. I've got nothing.
In my desperation I recall the voices I heard in those dreams.
For some reason I reach out with my aura, attempting to locate anything that reminds me of these voices.
As I catch myself doing this I ponder about how ridiculous this is.
That's not how scanning for auras works. You need to at least be able to guess how it would feel like to be
in proximity of a person in order to find someone through aura tracking.
But for some reason that is beyound me, at that very moment, I do find something.
It doesn't feel like a person though, and the feeling is very weak.

If I wasn't hiding from the Templars, I could probably pin the location down near instantly.
But that would involve releasing an amount of energy that cannot be hidden.
The Templars who are actively scanning for my aura would find me immediately.
That goes for all of us. The templars know all of our auras.
But there is someone else I know, who is rather talented in aura tracking.
He might be able to help me find... whatever this is.

"Okay..."
"So I might have..."

Silver and Yuya open their eyes wide in hope.
Oh boy...

"Listen. This is a longshot... no, I wouldn't even call it a longshot."
"I have a lead alright. A lead to maybe find some sort of way to..."

They are euphoric. Are they not listening to my words? I don't have shit.

...
Fuck it. This is all I've got. If it turns out to be nothing then that's it.
They are relying on me.

"I need to visit an old friend to help me track someone down."
"Until I do, I won't be sure on how to approach the situation."
"I assume there will be a grand battle though, so prepare yourselves accordingly."

They both nod.

"I'll be back within less than three days."
"In case I should fail..."
"Bullshit! When you come back you'll have a plan."
"You always have a plan."

No pressure...

"We'll evacuate Haven in case we need to make a last stand."
"Yes."
"And I'll have my mother talk to Ifrit..."

Somehow I doubt that'll help.

"Hyu?"
"Yeah?"
"... Don't you die on me, alright?"

I smile.

"Working on it!"

That extinguishes the last worries in her facial expression.
I summon my phoenix wings.
Time to go annoy the hell out of an old friend of mine. Time to meet a talking bird.
I take off into the fabric of space.

5/4/2013

Dreamed a woman and a man were dancing at some party...all of a sudden the female had the dance spotlight on her and she started dancing and doing all of these weird moves like she was in a dance competition. Everyone started to cheer her on as she did all the latest dance moves. The more pumped the crowd got, the harder she danced. She twisted her body into all kinds of shapes, jerked and spun around rocking out to the melody. At one point, she spun around so rapidly, her spiritual body double spun right out of her physical body and landed right in front of me ! The 'dancing-spiritual' body double was still in a full spinning rotation as the 'real' lady just kept on dancing. Even after the music had slowed down and the real lady and slowed down her dancing, her dancing spiritual double was still in front of me spinning away like a 'toy top'...then I woke up.


Question to myself: Why didn't I see this as a sign (the woman's body double) and do a reality check and become lucid ???

I was living in a big house with my sister, my best friend (but i didn't know him in real life, he was my dream best friend) his name was dave,and his mom. The house had around 5 rooms. Then I asked dave if he was gay he said: no man, no way i'm gay
-i replied:
-dude i think you are gay, you kissed a guy on your first year of college
-what, i don't even remeber that
-well i do, you kissed that guy called ted
-no i did not
-let's time travel to make it clear to you again.
-fine lets go
We went out of the house and the college was like across the street, There was an abandoned old room in the campus and that was where our time travel was. We closed the door, the room was really dusty and old... like no one has went in here for ages. I got the magic chalk (dave sat in front of me), and drew 2 rectangles, side by side and said
-tower of the west, tower of the east
-I need to go to the past, forget my future and take me at last!
In a piece of paper i wrote the date i wanted to travel to: 1966 ( i can't remember the day or month

The room started glowinf, two structures the same size as two soccer goals appeared and closed us inside them, but the goals didn't have a net, instead they had like small glass windows all around them. The goals started spinning very fast around us and everything turned dark, when the light appeared again, the room looked brand new, it was clean and shiny, it had some nice desks and we were in 1966.

We got out of the room, the college looked so "fresh" and new. We looked for the past dave, and we saw past dave walking alone, we followed him and he met up with ted. We saw as they both kissed and dave looked at me like he couldn't beleive it jaja.
Dave wanted to talk to past Ted to ask him why they had kissed. We followed ted to a playground and then i rememberd that on that same spot was when ted had died that same day. I didn't think of the consequences and i yelled at ted,
-TEDD WATCH OUT,
I ran to dave andjumped on him to take him down so the flyring baseball ball would miss. I succeded, the ball that killed him missed and ted was alive, but instead the ball hit a dog that was behind us. It was a french poodle and he died from the impact...

I knew this couldn't be good, a dark hole started appearing and thunder shook the clouds above us. A strong wind started and the hole was sucking everything, Dave yelled at me " Alex lets gogo, we have to leave FASTT"
We ran like lunatics to the room. I got the chalk and wrote the present date i wanted to go back. I said the magic words and we were back to the present.
We got out of the room and we saw my sister looking for us. She was like
-Ohh there you guys are i was looking for both of you.
-we have to hide in our house quick, the zombie apocalipse will get here any moment.

I looked at dave and we knew this was our fault, we had fucked up the timeline in a huge way and now zombies were going to kill us. We got home and started drilling wood to the doors. All the doors and windows were covered with planks and wood. We just stood there waiting, and the zombies ripped right threw that door, they started coming in the house... we were dead men.
I woke up

So...
I have never met dave in real life, and time travel was pretty cool in my dream
to bad we caused the apocalipse :c

05-04-2013 -- I am back working a shift at the Mercedes dealership I used to work at, and the other guard is hassling me because I can't seem to open my eyes ... literally. I can hear everything that is going on, but I can't see it because I can't wake up ... or maybe because I haven't fallen deep enough asleep. Anyway, he is also complaining that I am in the reception area, because they have changed policies, and they no longer want us in that area, even though that is where the security monitors are. I'm thinking if they want to make that big a fuss without actually bothering to tell me, they can fire me!

I've just come on, and the dealership is filled with hundreds of people ... far more than are ever here normally, and there seems to be a sort of party going on, with tons of people, including some lovely ladies, but I can't actually see any of the sales staff anywhere, so I have no idea what is going on. At least I can see, now.

Decide to go downstairs to use the restroom, just to find the doors to both restrooms have been kind of wallpapered over, so they are unavailable. I seem to remember some kind of employee restroom a little further back in the corridor by the parts department, so go to check there, but get distracted and return to the main showroom floor.

Where I find myself watching a fight between Spider-Man and the Green Goblin, and they are really going at it! At one point, the Savage Dragon jumps into things, as well! This can't be real, can it? I know super heroes don't really exist ... are they filming a movie or something? That may be it, because every time they turn to look our way, we duck out of sight, and get really quiet! "No," the costumed villain crouched next to me tells me, "We aren't staying out of a movie ... I just don't want to be beaten up."

Spider-Man scores a good punch on one of the bad guys, and he flies across the room to the lower level of the lobby (which was only a single story in real life ... but in dreams ...), and I decide it's all just too weird tonight, and I'm getting proof, so I whip out my trusty digital camera and start taking pictures. Soon after I start downloading them into my laptop when a Chinese guy starts to berate me for using the staff's computers. He looks like a cross between Charlie Chan and Mr. Fuji. I explain it is my computer and he's like "Uh ... ah ... well all right, then."

I start to descend the stairway from the reception desk down to the reception desk (hey, dream ...) and the crowds are getting ever thicker. The dress is also getting a lot more formal, and is starting to look like wedding party dresses or prom dresses ... something really nice. A nice looking, older blonde (40s), very professional looking, is a few steps behind me on the staircase, and she drops a present she is carrying, and it bounces down to me, so I pick it up and decide to carry it down for her. But when I get to the bottom of the staircase I find it blocked by a wall of presents, perhaps four feet deep and six feet across, completely blocking it. I drop the present on the stack and start to climb back up, explaining to the lady as I pass her, and fighting through the ever-worsening crowds, at times even climbing over small children to do so.

When I get back up near Janna's office (and it -is- now Janna's office, not a warehouse with super heroes fighting) I find myself staring at a little oriental girl, perhaps 8-10 years old who is obviously in the middle of a potty-mergency (thank you, Animaniacs) as she dances around. Suddenly an older Chinese woman who reminds me of a non-animated version of Cookie Kwan from the Simpsons walks up and tells me it is my responsibility to guide the girl (and 9 or 10 others) to the restroom. I try to refuse, but give in gracefully after a few seconds, and start to lead them to the short stairway down to the restrooms and parts.

Men's room no longer blocked, but it is being cleaned. The woman's room is still wallpapered over, so we continue on to the parts department, and this time I manage to find both men's and women's restrooms there. The kids use the restrooms. They also use the parts door leading outside, climb on the flower beds, and fall off. Thankfully the party is interesting enough that when they fall off they decide they aren't hurt.

I herd them back inside, and back up to the main showroom, and the crowds are worse than ever, so I try to get away slightly by stepping out onto the 'porch' by the main stairs up to the showroom, and just kind of look around, but even here it is crowded. As I stand there, Keith Thompson comes up behind me and demands to know why I have been avoiding him. I try to tell him I haven't been avoiding him as he searches through my (suitcase? gym bag? backpack?) and takes back the Kuya Kano CD he'd loaned me. He glances at it and sees there are a bunch of scratches on it, and demands to know what I have been doing with it, before he realizes the scratches just might be the music tracks.

I'm trying to explain I'm not avoiding him, things have just been hectic, when a couple of young Chinese guys say something that is probably slightly insulting, and Keith turns around and responds to them. The look of shock on their faces is great, and I just burst out laughing. It is Hiro and Ando from Heroes (yes, I know, when awake, Japanese, Chinese, different ... asleep, not so much). "I love that! I love the faces people make when they realize ..." Ando interrupts me "You know language!" I just keep laughing.

I start to turn back to Keith, only to discover he has stalked off, still angry, thinking I am avoiding him. I am about to go after him when I am distracted by a potential budding incident. Down at the base of the stairs there are three guys sitting there chanting. It seems to be a cross between Arabic and the chanting that 'Padulla' (Bubba Smith) did in Police Academy 4. Surrounding them are several white bread white guys praying in English. This is getting weirder by the second. They all seem to be working together at something, and again I pull out my camera to try and get some odd pictures, but another person on the stairs asks if I have permission to take photos, saying he doubts they want their fight captured on film. That comment is all it takes for it to start to turn into a fight, rather than working together.

I am starting to get worried, when everything changes. Across the street (where there is supposed to be a freeway) is a stadium, and there is a serial killer in the stadium who's weapon of choice is an air cannon (t-shirt gun) he loads with some sort of orange goop that kills anyone it hits. He shoots at 10 or 12 people in the stadium, and in the process turns an entire section of seats orange, before he turns his attention to us and starts firing our way.

Almost seems like he is trying to miss, like he is giving us a chance to scatter and run, but there are several people who are commenting they aren't going to run or back down, and they look like people from my choir. I'm kind of in between. I'm not going to run away, but if a shot comes my way, I am sure going to dodge.

BLANG! A shot hits the window next to me and coats it orange, then I feel a tiny sting and hear a loud clattering, and I turn to look at the staircase I'm standing on, and there are thousands of jelly beans or gum balls or something of the sort rolling down the stairs. I look around carefully, and find a dumpster where the flowerbed should be, filled with four or five people wearing bird mascot costumes. For some reason they are here to throw candy whenever the serial killer shoots his goop.

As far as I am concerned, anybody who wears a giant bird mascot costume in public has already consented to have their photo taken, so I am pulling out my camera to try to get some pictures, but suddenly it won't work. The camera won't focus. I keep bumping the wrong buttons, I can barely even hold the camera, and suddenly it is falling to pieces!