non-lucid

Again a DILD - this time without any prep at all - went to bed when the morning wasn´t even early any more again.
And this time - the realization came from one of my most persistent dream-signs: the house, I grew up in, and which is not standing anymore.
This time, I realized this, when I was there once more - but again - without WBTB and earnest WILD activities - it was low lucidity and only a short episode - ending not in waking up, but dreaming on non-lucidly.

So - definitively I will go for the extensive preparations next couple of nights - wondering, if I might not go into upper league of the competition after all.
If I get somewhere control-wise and have a longer LD then - I will.
Well - at least, if I get a TOTM done, I will.

This short LD had me almost without day-time-memory again - so I went exploring the surroundings a bit by flying about - and that was it.


The following dream is in my memory to a greater extent, than I will write it out here - since there were some weird censoring worthy things going on as well.

Too lazy now to put it all down - just the memorable bit for now:

I sat at a table - it was supposedly Christmas eve - but I was there with a friend of mine - having a festive dinner.

There was a bit of back and forth with what to wear - and since it was summer at the same time as x-mas - I had opted for a neon-yellow bathing-suit as my top under some blazer - to later go swimming in the lake.

Then along came a guy, I know from school with a friend - and started out making fun of that - how that would be totally out of fashion, neon-yellow, and how otherwise he would have maybe found me attractive..

I felt totally un-embarrassed - rather a bit superior to his fixation on such an unimportant detail - and started teasing him.
Drew him in more and more and sort of hypnotized him with doing some this and that.
He started singing - and me back - like a cheesy musical - but then - it came:

We switched perspective - I saw myself in that outfit singing at newly male me - and once I sang back - him/me had suddenly a full force opera-tenor voice.
He had only sung normally before.

So I blasted the place with this amazing voice of mine - but after the duet - or within it - I changed back into myself.
Oh yeah - and I wasn´t interested in the guy any more then, but had an interesting conversation with my friend at that table.

With all the bad to non-existent dream-recall over the last years - maybe I often was male - but not to my knowledge - this was a first for me as far as I am aware of it.
Not being lucid - of course I didn´t explore the new possibilities for making the dream even more censor-worthy - shame that..

There isn't a lot from the non-lucid parts of my dream that I can recall. I do recall that there were many dreams in between sleep and waking up last night. The earliest I can recall is going to my weekly Saturday Bible study. Afterwords I could not find a ride home, because everyone had left me there before I could ask. I then believe I began looking for my Dad's tan Buick Century, after discovering the keys were in my pocket the whole time. I check the front and back lots of the hall desperately but can't seem to find the car. It is too dark to see, so I check again, taking a friend along with me this time. We still cannot find the car, so I can only assume that it was stolen. I don't recall how the next part happens, but I end up flying an AH-6J Little Bird helicopter and firing the mini guns. The next fragment I can recall is being outside of a building in a nice looking field. My Dad and his girlfriend are there, and his GF excitedly tells me about how Ohio State won their game against Michigan State(which is funny, because when I woke up I found out they actually lost). I am slightly disappointed about this, but continue on. I then recall my friends and I have gathered together and assembled a team. We have swords and armor ready as we prepare to fight a large monster. This is out back of the building I was at in the previous fragment. We stir the ground to awaken the monster, which is a massive cartoon blob who is all white with massive spiked teeth and red eyes. It was a lot more horrifying when I was actually in the dream. Especially because he begin trying to jump on us and kill us the whole time. I then recall being underground fighting him in a human state. Only we are all throwing arrows at him. No no, don't use the swords, don't use bows either, let's throw arrows at him. He seems unharmed, even though he has about twenty arrows in him now. If I recall correctly, he then tries befriending us, and shows me his candy collection(LOL). I tell him I favor the sour gummy worms he has, and I ask him to deliver some to me. The dream then goes inside the building I was outside of for so long. It's a pretty nice looking place too. Mostly white walls in the inside. My family is all there, most notably my little brother who I talk to for a moment, but I don't recall out conversation. I then go into the kitchen and check our cupboard, where I notice there are sour gummy worms. This pleases me, knowing the friendly monster has provided this for me. I go outside now, where my friend is waiting. She is wearing badass medieval armor and I think someone is following behind her talking to her. She has a medieval clown mask on his shoulder, which is talking to her as well. The mask now falls off and slides down the snowy hillside. I run to see where it went, and the three of us look over the drop for it. I decide to now slide down the hillside, which is extremely steep. I have an actual nervous feeling as I go down, but I do make the drop with no harm done. My friends follow behind me and we search for the mask. We finally find the mask, who has moved itself up against a large tree, kind of like the one from Harry Potter. The mask now possess the tree and begins moving it around like the tree from Harry Potter. This greatly intrigues me.

The next part to this is a completely different dream I believe. I am over at a friend's but I'm leaving now. I'm not sure who it was exactly, but I offer to take home several friends who were also there. My friend Matt sits shotgun, and the only other friend I recall being in the car is my friend Hannah, but I'm positive the others were also real life friends. For some reason the driver's seat is on the right side of the car(I live in America, where it is on the left). I now start the car and back out, I try turning and driving but the car goes into the neighbors yard. The steering whelk wouldn't turn for some reason. My friend Matt tries taking over but I tell him I can handle it. I now turn up the sensitivity of the steering wheel because it was too low(what...?). After I've done this I begin to drive again. I stop at the end of the street and turn the corner. I realize something and pull over. I now out my seatbelt on and continue to drive. After awhile we make our way into another neighborhood, and the speed limit suddenly jumps from 35 to 55. I accelerate to the speed limit nervously(I don't like driving fast, I know I'm weird). We continue down the road until I see something. A three year old baby boy is playing in the middle of the road! I now slam on the brakes and swerve around the baby, missing it by inches. Who in their right mind let their fucking baby play in the middle of the fucking road unattended? Especially on a fucking 55mph road! With my nerves cracking we continue down the road. We now see several people dancing to their radio in the middle of the road. Seriously?! I now swerve out of the way of the people and knock out a Speed Limit 55 sign in the process. We now continue down the road as I'm about to have a heart attack from all of this bullshit. We then spot a truck which is stopped in the middle of the road. I panic and swerve out of the way again. This time the road comes to an end, and there is water. We all ditch as the car sails off the bridge into the ocean. Strange, because I live nowhere near an ocean. We somehow get the car back, and I drive alone this time. A cop now lights up behind me, and I pull over. However, I hit about two or three parked cars in the process and do a barrel roll in the process. Landing on all fours, the car finally stops. The cop is now walking over to me until he notices the car is on fire. I get out quickly and run into the gas station nearby. The cop tries to stop me and follows me in. Several people in the gas station draw guns and point at the cop. As I hide behind a store shelf I look up to hear the cop talking to them. Everything then goes black as I hear gunshots ring out. I awake in the near future where my apparent mentor is speaking to me. I have apparently become a very powerful emperor or something of that matter. This is all beginning to get way too strange to me. I then realize that I'm dreaming. I leave the building I'm in and begin walking around. I wonder what to do, when I remember there's the task of the month. I think one of them is to ask someone for a present and record their reaction. I go into a convenience store and look around. I see a man in one aisle with really curly hair and a beard.
"Excuse me sir," I say. "May I have a gift?" He looks at me now and smiles.
"Of course!" he replies. He then grabs a pack of Starbursts candy and leaves. I follow him and he goes to the check out. He buys his own candy and drink and then grabs his bag. He then looks at me and smiles.
"Haha! Now you have to pay for this!" he says evilly. He grabs the Starbursts package and throws it at me, and it bounces off of me. He then runs out of the store and I stand there in shock, trying to process what happened. I plan to go kick his ass, but I then awake.

I woke up one morning and felt a sore spot on the back of my thigh. I went through the day without much irritation in that spot, but by the end of the day it started aching. I was wearing shorts in my dream, so I moved my hand back there to see why it was hurting so bad. When I felt the spot, I felt a hard bump probably about the size of an average fist. I moved my leg in a way so I could see what it was. It was a screw that was obviously screwed into my skin. I also noticed that blood was leaking out of the sides.

I sat down in a way where I could reach the screw, and started pulling it out of my skin. It left a huge gaping hole I the back of my thigh, but once I got the screw out, I went about the rest of the night normal as if there wasn't a huge hole there.

The next morning, I felt about 2 more painful spots. They were also on the back of my thighs. I ended up pulling two more screws out of my leg that day.

Every morning more and more screws appeared in my skin. On the back of my thighs, my back, and legs. I'd always pull them out leaving deep holes everywhere.

The last thing I remember is someone coming up to me and mentioning something about werewolves.
I was in the slow process of becoming a werewolf and apparently the screws were part of that process.

I was in a house full of bunnies. They were filling up the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth floors.

They started escaping.

I ended up in an ocean in a pirate ship, with bigger pirate ships around us. We were in battle. Once we escaped the other ships, somebody yelled that there was a black hole.
I looked ahead, and saw a huge hole in the water that we were spinning into.

Right before we got sucked in, I woke up.

I was talking with my mother in person about our move out of state (in dream only), about how I don't know whether we would get jobs right away, but that costs were heaped there.

At some point my mother wanted to know why my phone number was not listed (also not real). It seemed she thought it was because I wanted to be unhelpful, and I said that it was because of my work secrets.

At another point in the conversation my mom also attacked the fact that we have so many board games.

12.07.13

Last night bed 1:30am - 9:40am

DR 5:48am

I'm on a bus trip with class. We are driving along a concrete canal, that's filled with nice water to the top. On the slope of the canal, across from water, there are large graves. All encasted in marble, all different colors of whites and greys and blacks. We are visiting this town, where something bad happened. I think half the town burned down.

I recognize my former teacher UH and we joke about something sex related.

We are leaving the hotel we were staying in. I'm last one to leave. I still want to take a shower, so I walk into the bathroom. The floor is freshly washed and my UGGs are making dirty footprints. I have to find a rag and wipe it clean, while it's still wet. The shower stall is already wiped dry as well, even new soap and pink plastic scrubby thing is replaced for a new one. I hate to make a mess again.

Someone with knife walks outside the building and I follow him. I know he is about to be shot by police, when they yell at him to throw down his weapon. I drop my pistol and I'm trying to get closer to this guy to protect him from being shot. But he raises his hand and takes an aim at the police, who are across the canal. They shoot him, before I'm able to get in front of him. I'm devastated.

9:30
Someone left us $700 000. I walk into a small both to count the money. There is only 17x $100 bills. Then I notice, they are not bills, but sheets of 17 $100 bills. There is 170 sheets.
Today, 12.8.13, I got my new ID card, and it consists of 0s, 1s, and 7s. Hrm, pretty cool. After this dream, I was actually thinking of getting lottery with these numbers, because I felt they are significant.

I'm downstairs at my aunts, cleaning, while my whole extened family is upstairs, at my moms. We are all going somewhere. They are waiting for me. I walk outside. It's nightime. There is some snow on the ground, and everything is icy. Everybody who didn't fit in the cabin is in the back of the pickup truck. I say that's not safe. Even if we don't cause an accident, someone else may and we will get hurt. So they put me in the cab and I hate that, and they hate me for it.

We arrive to the train station to continue our trip. ( I saw a picture Ophelia posted today of her white pickup truck parked outside her house, with everything encased in ice. Rare winter snow and ice for Dallas area).

I am working with a gamedev team that is trying to develop a sort of pardoy shooter that takes elements from several first person shooters and includes them into one. The game has this really sophisticated VR simulation thing that the ask me to test.
The game has fairly good graphics, probably on par with today's systems, but I can still pick out polygons in the rocks. I am in this canyon type area, the canyon is maybe forty feet wide, and the walls of the canyon are about as high. There are large boulders strewn about in the canyon that I can use for cover. At some points, the canyon is flooded with water about two feet deep that I must wade too.
I begin advancing down the canyon. This is one of the campaign missions. Slowly but surely, enemies begin to attack. Grunts (halo games) and Psychos (borderlands). They are pathetically weak. I kill them.
It is at this point that I realize I have three out of four weapons equipped.
Weapon one is a large green sniper rifle. It has a boxy design with olive green panels on it. There is a large scope on the top. The rifle seems to have low recoil, and be accurate, but not do much damage.
Weapon two is just labeled the "cutter". It was a black shotgun-like weapon that fires a horizontal orange energy arc out of it. At close range, it cuts enemies in half, at medium, it can still kill them, but at long range the energy arc disperses and gets too weak to kill.
Weapon three is just a needier from Halo. This turned out to be the weapon I relied on because it has unlimited ammo. I still have to do the reload animation where I shake the weapon, but I never run out.
I continue advancing down the canyon, killing waves of increasingly difficult (but still pathetically easy) enemies. As I advance, the "feel" of the area changes. When I had started, The canyon was very foggy, as if it were raining. Now, the area was illuminated with a bright orange-ish light. I get to this area where the canyon widens. A narrow river cuts the area in half. There are rock shelves with enemies all over them, and a high-tech bridge crossing over them. There are jackals (from halo) attempting to snipe me from up on the bridge.
I hide behind a boulder, and reload my needler. I try to poke up, but get hit with a sniper shot and my health goes down. Ground troops flank around the boulder and I kill them. My health re-gens, and I poke up again. I fire my needler at one of the snipers.
I realized it would be better if I used my own sniper to counter them. I got out the green sniper gun agian, and was ready to counter them when... I woke up.

The sci-fi designs in my dreams have gotten alot cooler lately.

I went to bed like 2.30 or 3 AM and woke up like 9 AM so I tried to practice WILD, I had some big expectations. I started dreaming about some "dream doctor". I was in some kind of small hospital giving a note to my "doctor". I didn't read the note but I knew it said something about my dreams, how many hours i've been sleeping, if it was NREM or REM, etc.. The thing is this doc mentioned something about lucid dreaming and that was when i tried to control the dream. Guess what happened then...

My mom woke me up. I felt kinda disappointed, but anyway, i stayed in bed trying to sleep again... i didnt even thought about it but I should have tried to dream with this doc again, instead i had some weird non lucid dream. I was in my school with a couple of good friends and some kids from this school i haven't seen IRL in more than a year. Anyway, some kid hits another with a table tennis racket in his teeth, and 2 teachers take the first kid and put him in some kind of small glass cage. I start freaking out and say that is illegal and unethical, then something weirder happened. The kid started transforming into a baby crying and the cage became fishbowl and the teachers were there looking at the baby almost drowning. I start to freak out even more and after it i just leave the school and woke up.

i was sitting at the old rugby fields and there were miles and miles of grass in every direction. in the sky blue as can be…a huge killer whale kite floated through the sky. it made me laugh and i had a strange feeling id seen this whale once before.

the littler girl flying the gigantic mammal, decided to take it up a notch, and flew very close to me. suddenly, the killer whale went into hyper killer whale mode, and zoomed past me at over 100 mph. i was like holy fuck!!! i started clapping


on a side note.. earlier in the dream i threatened to beat the shit out of an old man on a golf course…but then his clubs ran away from him on his calf cart and i started to feel bad… so i chased down his cart and drove it back to him. then i almost got hit by 3 trains driving on the golf course. i told the third once "watch out!" then the conductor came to a screeching halt. i felt bad i had spoken so harsh

MacGyver and the atomic bomb
I'm watching MacGyver. He and the guy he's helping have been brought into the villain's inner sanctum. The villain, a Russian, says he knows that MacGyver came to find out what he has, but he'll never reveal the secret. Mac tells his companion that in exchange for a couple thousand dollars he can get whatever it is. The villain then reveals that it's an atomic bomb. Mac starts to repeat his line about getting it for a couple thousand, but is stopped when one of the henchmen intentionally starts the detonation sequence. I see it from the perspective of a camera inside the bomb (which is itself mounted into the wall, like a safe), pointing out into the room. There's a bunch of loops of thin glass pipes inside the bomb along with a small hammer. The pipes are nested: very thin pipes running inside wider pipes with a small gap between the pipe walls. When a man dressed in a white bunny suit (no helmet) runs a paint roller down the glass face of the bomb, it seems to remove a protective coating, and his face melts off (picture the last scene of Lost Ark). Mac and his companion each jump to the side to avoid the lethal radiation spewing out of the bomb. The bomb detects the intrusion attempt and automatically causes the hammer to fall, shattering the glass tubes carrying the radioactive gasses.

Now I'm seeing a documentary about the construction of the bomb, talking about the pipes. Graphics are showing the multiple sections of inner pipe (given a fancy name), surrounded by the outer containment pipe. The inner pipe is specially designed to vanish if many standard techniques are used to get into it. The video shows a man passing <something> near the pipes; as he does so, the inner pipes just seem to phase out of existence. The graphic now show the outer containment pipe. The voice-over says that a series of detectors can tell exactly where a breach in the <inner> pipe occurs, and that if there's an inner breach, then the hammer falls to shatter the whole thing.

The documentary now moves on to discuss the effects of having the gas released. The camera's viewpoint is moving quickly through the underground hallways, coming to rest in a room with a security arch and conveyor belt (like at an airport). The video shows the gas entering the security hardware and ... something.


Fragments
I had a dream involving the security arch and conveyor belt earlier in the night, but I don't remember it.

1.) Molly and Stephanie approached Emily and I, and as they were walking up to us I was worried that Emily would think they were weird. Emily had a book in her hands and was leafing through the pages as the four of us discussed it.

2.) I was at Disneyland, or some kind of amusement park. There were a bunch of shows going on, like plays and parades and whatnot. I kept walking across the area where the shows were taking place and people would get mad at me for interfering with it. Then I remember being Legolas from Lord of the Rings, I think I was supposed to be in one of the shows now. I tried to jump onto a horse, but it kept passing out and falling over.

So last night - I didn´t plan a WILD up front - I slept from early morning to afternoon today.
But when I woke up quite nice and naturally - I thought, why not go back to sleep with SSILD.
I did and I had a dream - but only after one more awakening and some mantras came the dream, where there was a bit of lucidity.
Not at all like 2 nights back - where I fell asleep and instantly was fully lucid at such a point.

I was dreaming of meeting a frustrated woman, who got abandoned by her taxi-driver on a little road going through woods and little valleys - vaguely like one I know, which does not get anywhere bigger for a while.
There was a guy, telling her, this would be typical - the driver would have seen, that he would have to drive back all this way for free, if he took her to that far-off place she wanted to.

There had been a huge storm before and I saw one enormous tree lying right over the road, on which I looked a bit from above in the same road.

So - I saw a tree from a weird perspective - and this told me somehow, that I can make huge leaps.
Which I did - towards it - and by that moment came the realization, that what I do is quite like flying in a dream.
But my instant first judgement was - naa - this must be reality!
But I looked at my hands - they were a bit out of focus - but had 5 fingers and the thumb didn´t go through.
But anyway - the leaping and bounding did register and I did then know it was a dream, even if I had no real grasp of it.
So I went on looking at my hands and testing their impenetrability - but what resulted was me hovering somewhere and loosing sight - almost completely.
Not being equipped this time with a comparably good daytime-memory - I did not try to otherwise systematically stabilize - what I did towards the end was shout "more lucidity" when the visuals were almost completely gone.
They were perfectly vivid and beautiful when I started wondering if it was a dream.
I think, I lost lucidity without waking up and continued this dream - not 100% sure, though.

So - the full-on WILD activities do incubate me with a great level of lucidity from the onset of DILD - while this one instance was a real DILD - and not a glorious one at that.


I wonder one thing - maybe the auto-hover mechanism is easier to throw up for my inner simulation-centre than feeling the soles of my feet with every step..?

I will edit in a bit more ND later - but nothing really note-worthy concerning there.

Except a non-lucid present - and many recurring themes - having to clear out of a flat with renovating packing up and sorting stuff.
Looking for a new place - and in this case I was with a friend out and about Berlin - looking for a place to squat.
It was summer, and there was a place, which supposedly I knew about in that dream - a ruin, with some structures still quite intact.
So we came there - somebody had put up a big rake in the smallish access to that spot - we circumvented it - and there was this place - and further on a little bridge, with a guy behaving like some sort of guard - but my friend went to him, and convinced him, that it was okay, I take over the place.

But to make it more complicated concerning sorting out and removals - once I had some of my things over - the ex-squatter of the place re-appeard.
A guy I know in real live, and who did really squat in several ruins in Berlin some years ago.
And then it was him demanding his stuff back - which then was suddenly there - and all mixed up - his, mine, rubbish - almost no light and space and some hick-hack as well.

But I asked him for a present - having incubated this activity with mantras and visualization for the TOTM.
And he gave me a beautiful soap-stone sculpture.

It was shaped like a slice of a melon with almost all fruit-flesh eaten away as a base.
Like if you had a ball, and would draw two circles on it with the maximum radius the ball allows for - they intersect and result in 4 such slices then.
Inlaid into the base was a little depression for a small soap-stone-ball to hover and rotate freely in.
And in this ball, a light was set in - and you could set the direction of lightning with slightly turning it.

Whatever - I liked it a lot and thanked him.


Another dream had me win a contest to get invited to take part in a huge stage production.
But somehow, I was too late and witnessed, how another girl (I was around 20 maybe..) got dressed and made up for the show.
I hurried up and arrived there with a friend - and we talked the guy, with whom the plans had been made in the first place, into taking in both of us. Which was nice.
But there was some animated argumentation involved - and this other girl was almost in tears upon seeing me arrive.

I was watching porn or was about to. My door flew open and I thought, "Oh, shit! I'm in for it." I woke up and my heart was beating furiously. Strange how that happens.

This was a long and choppy one. So, took place in a few different settings, and I remember the mansion.

It was an adventure, alright. The main two villains were having sex, adn we were sneaking around in the mansion. Another thing took place in a warehouse, CHR.N was there. I think it was tied to the video game dream, where Kirby was the main character. I had to dodge around an enemy, which chased me in a corn field.

The mansion was big. It was loosely based on my Mom's boss' house.

Well, the first thing I remember was what I thought was my uncle. (he was my dads friend (My dad is now dead, so I never see that person anymore.) and was a friend to the family.) He was very tall(too tall) and looked extremely like him. We decided to show him around... or town or bunker. We had lived underground, but there were buildings and such. While my brothers, sister (perhaps my mom) were showing him around, I was going to a living room, watching TV. Closing and locking the slide doors on both sides. We had pinball games and more. I felt so relieved, safe and relaxed. But then, somehow things went bad. I believe my "uncle" was actually a zombie. (Aha, I view zombies different.) I think we killed him or sorts. Suddenly, zombies came from everywhere. Now, I was in the middle of the "small town" (which had 4-5 brown buildings.) and we were getting packed and some already in the car to get out. I was getting a couple things packed. Included, my inventory I sell IRL and a cup of ice from a local gasstation IRL. (How did I not become lucid or RC... >.<) Well my sister was getting some more stuff, she waited too long and got bitten. We could see her start lighting a cigar while transforming. (From Walking Dead or something I believe.) While my mom was screaming and crying, my brothers in the front pushed the pedal. We raced, zombies everywhere. Suddenly, I saw other cars. We were saved! Nope. My brother screamed "Now they're getting smart!" Because, somehow, I don't know how, or why, they were zombies. Tons of cars of them trying to be humans. My brother, somehow an amazing racer, raced past them, and we made it out to the light and they were losing where we were. We got to a cliff and a sunset, and my brother said "It must be time for the next game. I remember this." Then he sped, we flew out of the car, as if it was an epilogue or something before a new videogame release. I just remember my brother, I, and a girl flying out. But my mom doesn't come into play with the rest of the story, so we'll just say My brothers and I. (Two brothers.).
So, after the video game credits (not really.) we landing infront of a building. (This is where it becomes foggy.) People started to come, and before we knew it we had to go for a hunt of food with them. We went to a nightmare hell instead that looked like a grocery store. At first I remember, my brother going on a secret side door because he thought they were doing evil things! Nope, they werent. Then, we were collecting food, I remember I got a lot of grains and oats for survivial and then we had to continue on. Then, it was hell. There were tags that if we read it would happen. I read "your worst nightmare will come." and spiders, evil clowns (miniature, size of like toys) Came at me from everywhere. (Our team was split up be now.) so I imagined they couldn't walk, and it happened. (Nope, wasn'[t lucid. FFS.) I found that tag from going up the stairs so I decided not to be an idiot and continue up. I went back to some of the team and the leader, we had a mini attack I believe, and I asked the leader where my brothers were. He answered with this... "(my brother's gamertag for xbox) got eaten by the cookie monster, and (my other brother' gamertag)" ... to be honest, I forgot :/. I think it said he logged off or died. Ahaha. Well that's it. I logged off the game, and woke up.