non-lucid

I only remember fragments of this dream.
Firstly, all of the people in my dorm hallway were living in a house, and I remember the feeling of pining for Ryan's attention, but he was only interested in Audrey.
I also remember walking alone at night in a neighborhood in Utah, going to my old house and talking to the woman who lives there now. I feel like I was looking for my brother Garrett. I didn't like talking to the woman because I feel like she stole our house and my old life.
Then I went to the movies with my family and my floor. Well, it was either/or because they kept switching. We were seeing Wizard of Oz, and of course we got there hella early to see the Cinemark First Look shit that my dad always likes to see.
I thought I would have to go to the bathroom a lot during the movie, so I went before and met this weird, scary lady who was super judgmental of everyone. I feel like she was Judgement personified. She would look at someone and immediately decide who they were and what they liked and what was happening in their lives. Pretty much, totally judging a book by its cover. She was judging Lauren, my roommate, but Lauren was standing up for herself. I felt weak because I knew if she were to judge me out loud I couldn't stand up for myself.
Then we went back to the dorm and I just remember singing "On My Own" from Les Mis and having fun belting it out.

Mostly, I think this relates to the resentments I wrote about last night right before bed. I wrote about two Mormons, one was my ex boyfriend and the other was his mom. I constantly felt judged by them solely because I wasn't what THEY wanted, i.e. a mormon. I felt less than them and like I couldn't stand up to them. I didn't think I was good enough for them because I didn't have their same spiritual beliefs. As a consequence, I judged their religious views really harshly, and they are currently two of my greatest resentments.

Tea Store Sex

I was in a store that sold tea. It had a very open floor-plan. There were a few tables set up with teas and information. I thought I didn't need anything because I know a little about tea, but then I thought that this would be the perfect place to learn more about tea, and maybe to pick up a nice one.

I asked if they had any information on tea. I asked about information on ECGC's, and the corrected myself as the salesman corrected me, "EGCG."

There were women everywhere. I realized I was dreaming. Time to pick one out and go to work.

I liked the little oriental number. I thought about undoing my pants, but I ddn't want any trouble, and my lucid's have been short lately, so I figured I'd just cop a feel.

I put my hand down her shirt, and of course her shirt is now a turtleneck. I fought my way under it and felt her titty. I didn't really feel it., but I was cupping her breast.

I moved my hand down her pants. I felt her lace panties, moved down, and kind of felt her hair. I put my middle finger in her vagina. She was a little dry, so I took it slow. I pushed in a little at a time and finally pushed it in all the way. Yea!

Then I started kissing her. It was delicious. I sucked her tongue as she pulled it out of my mouth. Her tongue became very long. I enjoyed it as she pulled her long tongue slowly out of my mouth.

She had a pretty vagina, but eventually I think I
lost lucidity. She moved away from me. I said, "OK, just wait a minute. I held her and asked, "If this is my dream, why don't you want to?" I forgot what she said.

I then saw a man taking pictures of an oil spot in a parking lot, and I was looking for an old Lincoln I used to own.

The End

I was playing some sort of Zelda game. For some reason, I was playing as Zelda instead of Link, who wasn't even there. For some other reason, Zelda could fly, though not very well. I spent most of the time trying to fly up to this random floating platform.

At one point, I heard the music that plays in Spirit Tracks when Dark Trains are nearby. I turned around and saw a Dark Train behind me, but I wasn't worried about it because I knew it couldn't go off the tracks (besides, I was in the air). Later, I saw two more on a separate part of the tracks (and the music was playing again). One of them looked a bit like Thomas the Tank Engine. It looked like it was going to crash into the one in front of it.

In the next dream, I was at home. I can't remember what I was doing, though.

I woke up from that, then went back to sleep. This time, I was in a large room that was kind of like the lodge we stayed in for the Camporee, except more square. I looked up at the clock and saw there was half an hour until whatever we were doing next, so I decided to get my laptop to update my DJ. Then, Jonathan, a boy from my church, warned me not to take too long because using a computer for too long is bad for you.

Dream - Lucid

I was outside, I want to say I had been on some kind of mission. I was at the end of it, and the last thing I had to do was make a cut on some thin film of skin that was supposedly covering the bottom of my belly button...? I saw an example play out in front of me, and of course, there was blood. There were two ways you could do this, I don't remember the first, but the second was just simply using the scalpel to make the cut. They were illustrated by these icons in my vision, kind of like a video game screen. I didn't want to do it. I was too much of a chicken for the pain and the blood. I had gotten all the way there, and now, I was too afraid of a little cut.

~

This one is kind of jumbled...let's see if I can make sense out of it.

I feel like I was living in an apartment. I remember it being nighttime outside. I was supposed to be meeting with my friend Samira (whom in waking life I only know via the internet) for some reason. Apparently, we hung out a lot.

Then, I was going to get in the shower. I turned it on, and the shower head was messed up, so if the curtain wasn't all the way closed, water would get all over the floor. Well, water got all over the floor, semi-flooding the bathroom and soaking the small, white Mickey Mouse towel placed by the tub for one's feet when they got out of the shower. I think the towel was supposed to be Samira's. I started trying to clean it up with another towel. I picked up Samira's Mickey Mouse towel, and it was absolutely sopping wet. I remember talking to Samira about the towel, but she wasn't there. I guess it was kind of telepathically? I'm not sure. She laughed and said not to worry about it. We talked about other things as I got in the shower, but I can't remember what.

One of my neighbors was someone I know from the internet as well, but it was someone I don't talk to at all anymore, someone I'm not particularly fond of. Let's call him Sam.

I remember all the talks and stuff with Samira, who in the dream I called something else, something that started with a K, like Kera or or something like that, being very pleasant.

The first dream started at a friends house (a house that does not exist in real life as far as I know). My friends and I were all watching movies in the basement. Suddenly there was a loud commotion from outside, and it turns out an army was marching through the streets. There were explosions sounding all around us. Then we saw a tank pull up in front of the house, and it turned it's barrel towards us and fired. The force of the shockwave sent us flying backwards, and the shell had blown a hole in the back wall. We climbed out through the hole and ran. Eventually we came upon a tree line, and we went through it.

On the other side was the cornfield behind my dad's house, but it looked like a beach, having sand all the way across it and water crashing on both ends. There were other people there, I want to say "natives" because they had straw huts. They were skimboarding, and I asked if I could try, but I kinda sucked at it.

The next dream I remember is kinda the same. We were all at my dad's house, and then we decided to go into the basement and watch movies. One of my friends complained about the carpet, and how there used to be a different one the last time they were there, so I went upstairs to fetch the other one.

And then I woke up.

09.06.2012

Locker Combination (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside the locker room of the athletics room in Cy-Lakes, the flooring was light gray, most of the gates to enter the sections of the lockers were open, and there was enough light to see most of them. I go to the tennis locker section, go back to my old locker, but I can't remember exactly where, only knowing that it was on the top section of lockers. Oh, and they were all red, just like in waking life, and had the small holes on top outside, and on the sides in the inside as well.

Without even thinking too much, I twist and turned the the combo lock for 24-16-21, because it felt familiar to me that this was it. It opens with ease, and I take out all of the equipment from racquets to other small things with me. There's a guy on my left, fairly short, barely 5 feet tall, let's call him "Mo." Mo was wearing a light brown jacket, some kind of light dark colored shirt, and regular pants.

I believed he asked me if he could have the racquet that was in my locker room, and I quickly told him, "No."

I told him I can make more money trying to sell than to give it to him. As I'm closing the locker, he tells me he has a job. I ask him to be more specific, and he decalred that it was giving out hotdogs somewhere, and I think he said they were free (what???).

_________________________

09.06.2012

Alyzarin's Skirt (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

All I remember was walking with Alyssa, and she's wearing a white tank top and a dark blue skirt. The environment is sort of dull, gray skies, a slightly misty atmosphere. I think I was directing her to somewhere, but I don't know where exactly.

I just recall us walking down a black road near a bridge of dull colors probably ranging from gray to turquoise.

My guru appeared smiling at me and then I got scared thinking this is his wrathful image. I woke up feeling blessed directly by him.

I bowed to khenpo kathar rinpoche. I thought he is chenrezik! I started to tear up and gavin asked me what is wrong. I said nothing I am just really happy at the moment. He seemed to be the buddha directly.

The last dream I had during my nap today was a journey to meet my brother at his house. The trip started out with actual streets I'm familiar with, but after awhile I got caught up in the setting so much I didn't notice that the reason why I never got there was because the roads after a certain cross street turned into a random dream zone. The interesting part of this dream, is I was riding a white bear. Not just any white bear though. He came from one of my favorite video-games League of Legends. Volibear , "The Thunder's Roar". And, interestingly enough my dream mixed both League of Legends with the mount movements of World of Warcraft. I was riding him like a mount on WoW, but I activated his sprinting ability most of the way there, crossing intersections with cars going by like normal. Can't believe I didn't notice this was a dream, but whatever.
When we sprinted, "Phage" activated. An ability on LoL that has an animation of red flame coming from the characters limbs. Without playing these games, this dream probably wouldn't make sense to most. But I thoroughly enjoyed riding a magical bear through the streets of Long Beach.

Dreamt that I went to my 6:15 a.m. conditioning class this morning, but I was unprepared and super self-conscious. I felt incompetent compared to the men's basketball team (who make up the majority of the class in reality), and I started emotionally beating up on myself for being "not good enough." I also felt self-conscious of my body, felt fat, and hated myself.
I think the main theme here is the belief of being not good enough. I have been struggling with that since arriving at college. I feel like I'm one of the only sober (due to my addiction/alcoholism) people on campus, and because of that I feel disconnected emotionally from much of the student body. This translates into me not feeling good enough, as well as feeling lonely. My "addict" tells me that I'm not good enough to be friends with most people here because my sobriety will get in the way of a relationship. I know that's not true with the logical side of my brain, however the emotional side of my brain is strong right now. When I don't feel good enough on the inside, I usually have crappy body image on the outside.

Waking Thoughts/Dream/ Lucid

So it's another off day for me. I sorta stayed up too late and threw off my sleep schedule a bit. Not a lot recalled and got a bit lazy this morning and did not write much down. I'll fix that tomorrow.

I am in some sort of car lot with a few empty car shops scattered about. Not too sure what happened, but I recall complaining that we were not selling something... All I managed to write down last night at about 04:40 was: "Car lot and not sell cars?" Yeah, not a lot to go off of.

Later in the morning I am at a horse stable. Which in of itself is strange since I NEVER see any horses. I recall getting on one and riding it around for a little bit before waking up. Yeah, not the most eventful dreams. Tomorrow should be better since I will get back on my regular sleep schedule. Since I have been working on my recall, I was thinking it's about time to work on getting lucid. Will type more later.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

Fun, but dangerous. Very, very dangerous .

I was in a plane, that was flying very low. Maybe about 30 feet from the floor. We were flying over the beach that appeared in the previous 2 dreams. Ahead, I could see a countryside, with a road and a few trees. The captain of the plane was JoeyBelgier, and he decided that we land in a narrow path surround by trees. Nice one Joey. We were just about to land, then the ground turned into a small slope. We landed later than we expected, but we finally felt that bump. As we landed, we were still going very fast, trying to stay on the narrow track. We turned around a corner, my stomach left my body and I held on for life. After turning that corner, we had to turn again, but slower this time. We saw some people under the wing. Finally, there were steps, which I was bracing for. I thought we would bump down these steps, but we gracefully floated down . There were another set of steps and Joey told me we would be fine.

Hope you enjoyed . September 3rd was crazy.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

A very cool dream! It's a replica of what I imagine when I'm at the beach.

I started off in a house, with the blue haired girl that I see often. She seemed to be teamed up with me to find some African kids. Inside this broken house, were a family of young African kids. They were reading books and talking to each other. Didn't look too bad, but the house did. It looked more like an abandoned hut. We both went outside onto the same beach that I ate the kebab on. I looked out at the ocean and noticed that the tide was completely out. I looked closer and noticed the tide was coming back it at a fast speed. I looked to the left and saw a load of people being evacuated from the wave that was coming on. The wave was only about 5 inches high, but it still scared us all. I looked back to where the house was, but instead was a wall of pebbles and stones. The blue haired girl was gone, too. Just me and a lot of people. I walked over to the wall and attempted to climb it by struggling my feet over the pebbles. I got pretty high but it crumbled below me and I fell, about 2 meters. I tried again and managed to get to the top (probably about 3 meters high). I ran further forward and everything changed into minecraft graphics. The beach was still real life, but everything else was minecraft. Apparently I was meant to be gathering supplies to survive this tiny wave. I was with 2 other people, who were in the wooden hut (NOTE: everything is minecraft) at the end of the grass patch. To the right was a large hedge and to the left was a huge empty field. I was told to go and gather seeds, so I ran back to the beach, but along the way, I saw a small little farm area. There were 5 blocks of moist soil, each planted with something. Opposite these blocks, were 5 moist blocks but with nothing planted. I planted tomatoes, a huge seed and something else. You can't obtain these in the game, but I did . The dream then faded quickly.

This is the second out of the three dreams I had, which took place somewhere near that one beach shore.

Awake|Dreaming|Lucid

This dream would probably seem more messed up to you, but I enjoyed it a little...

I started off walking on the beach shore (It explains why I had 2 other dreams here). I found a house located north of the sea, so I went in. I was greeted by Freddy Krueger. He was sat down frying bread on a barbecue. He offered me a piece and I ate it. Tasted nice! . He told me...more like forced me to follow him. I followed him and he gave me a kebab, the ones where you put different food on a stick. I started to eat the "chicken". Tasted fine, but then I suddenly knew that it was made of my own, cooked flesh. I looked at my stomach but it was fine, I'm not sure where my flesh was taken from. I then moved on to the mushrooms, which tasted exactly like them. I sure hope they were not my balls or something. Everything tasted nice, so the joke was on Freddy. He saw that I was fine, so he took me back to the bread and gave me another piece. I'm not sure what the bread made from .

As messed up as you thought? Probably.

Michael and I were wrestling and practising special moves on another. He was telling me his troubles with ruby.

There was some people looking like they were being tortured near my moms house so I called the police. The l police said it was an act. They came over and asked if I would like to join the act with kara. I accepted. The act was for them to whip me while kara gave me head. I refused and quit the show. I was later craving head and accepted the show if they whipped me lightly. I had sex with kara after type show.

Lady Robber

I was with my first girlfriend. A young lady had been seen in her house to rob her. I ran through the house to catch her. I looked in a couple rooms and quickly found her.

I saw her crouched in a corner. I had sympathy for her. I asked why she did it. She said it was because she was fat. I was happy to be able to help her. I explained I am working on the perfect diet.

I then touched her silky, dark hair, then led her away. R saw me with her, and I felt a bit of a traitor, but as this was a dream, and I can't say that I was in fact a traitor.

I found myself in a pool with this young woman and a male friend. I accidentally held the woman by her vagina and quickly moved it to her leg.

I looked over at my male friend. I almost hit him with a friendly punch in the arm at my luck.