non-lucid

I am with a troupe of soldiers. There are maybe a couple dozen of us. We are kayaking in a loose formation along a coast. Our double-ended oars have marshmallows skewered to the ends. We arrive at an inlet which opens up to rolling green hills with pure white classical buildings. We are greeted by a statue riding a horse who directs us to one of the nearby buildings. Inside the building I find a staircase. On one of the staircase landings, a frame with a glass pane rests on the ground, against the wall. Framed is a painting of stained glass with light shining through. For the remainder of the dream I attempt to get a picture of this painting on my phone but there is too much glare.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I think I am inside a computer simulation. And I am testing my control of it. When I move everyone moves, when I stop everyone stops. I am driving through streets, looking for different paths to see if they exist and are detailed enough or if it is a simulation, will I find dead ends? Don't realize I am simply dreaming.

Then find this place has really poor people. I find a charity shop and check what they have and don't have. My cell phone falls in the middle of a bunch of bags on display. I go through them to pick it up and I find one bag on sale that has a pocket full of money. I discreetly zip it and take it with me. Some guy enters the shop and points a gun at me. He asks for the money. I say the bag has no money. He doesn't buy it and asks me to show it. I don't, I am not afraid. I actually move forward to fight him, but he transforms into a pregnant lady and I can't do it. I just remove her weapon an ask for her story regarding the money. I would take it, but if it belongs to someone who really needs it, I just won't.

Some Russian spy story that me and a friend get caught on. We trap a guy somewhere, but he can become invisible and he does it before our eyes. He tries to escape but I still catch him when he finds an exit near me and I spot him. I try to negotiate with him. He has some box, but I tell him he can keep it, I just want him to share some info and where we can find some other guys we're interested in catching. First he doesn't cooperate, but ends up sharing some info cause he sympathizes with us.
Well, it has to do with some dangerous animals like a cytotoxic spider he hands me over (from the box?). I start studying it. Later I am carrying it and also a miniature jiboia (boa) to Japan and I meet a fellow biologist on some public space. I tell her about the animals and that I am researching this on my own. Meanwhile the spider gets out of the box and I spot it near her feet and grab it before it stings her. She tells me very upset to just be careful.
Later, I am with Tânia and some guys, eating at some courtyard surrounded by typical Japanese buildings, with restaurants on the ground floor and some galleries on the 1st floor. I am admiring the beautiful garden that I spot through some opening between buildings and i spot Rinpoche on one balcony looking down at me with tenderness. I look at him twice to be sure it's him and I warn Tània, but she doesn't see him and when I look again he is gone. She says I am delirious. I go release the jiboia in the garden, it is not dangerous as the spider and for some reason I want to set if free. The bag where I have it has a little hole in it and the snake gets out partially and bites me. I release her near a small pond. Then I turn to talk to Tânia and she has my face, my body and my outfit. I see this clearly for some seconds, maybe half a minute, before she turns back to herself. I tell her what I just saw and she insists I am hallucinating. We wonder if it was something I ate or the snake bite. But the snake doesn't explain me seeing Rinpoche before, so I think he was real.

We go back to the tables where we had been eating before. One of the guys that are with us seems to be very into me. He looks like one of my first loves, Jaime, but I know it is not him, I can tell. He sits by my side and he gets too comfortable with me, but I feel disgust and push him away. Don't remember why, but he reveals he is a vampire and says the underworld needs me somehow and he was just trying to seduce me to take me along so I can help. Out of compassion I decide to accept his invitation and I go with some other guy down a large shaft that leads to the underworld. It's like a very large well. We go down through some lift and we land on a surface where the sun still shines and there is a spiral ramp descending to darkness, where the vampires live. They can face the sun, as this guy obviously did, but they have no supernatural strength in the light. So I stay in the light waiting to know what they want from me and how I can assist, but he insists I should come in and see for myself. But I don't trust him, something feels shady. But they drug me or hit me, because soon after I am feeling drowsy and lying down on the floor with my neck exposed and he is about to bit me. I put my hand in his jaw, he almost bits my hand, but I fight back and escape. He had just dragged me to partial shade but not yet full darkness. I run to the sun again, he says he needs me by his side as his vampire queen. I do feel a bit flattered by it, but I say I can't. I can't be a vampire and kill people, because I would break my Bodhisattva vows. I have to stay on the light. He thinks he has me, because I am trapped in the shaft and the sun is setting and I only have a little stripe of light protecting me, so he tries to grab me again but I just fly up. From the walls of the shaft appear lots of vampires and as the darkness starts taking over the shaft walls, they fly after me and try to grab me. I escape, but the guy that went with me is nowhere to be found. When I arrive at the top, my friends are eagerly waiting for me. Even Riverstone is there. We all get away from there as soon as possible while there is still light.
Then I feel something warm and moving in my pocket and I find a box with some of my strange creatures. Some eggs I had on water inside the box have hatched and some aquatic green geometric creatures have come out. I look for a lake to drop them, but I can't find one, so I head to the river with my friends. There is a parade and fireworks going on on the streets. We just try to cut across and end up taking a lift with a parade car.

Date of Dream: FRI 28 DEC - 2018



Dream No. 516 - The End Of The Beginning

The entire dream played out as a game, in first-person mode but I did or said nothing. It started off in this deep hole and the first character to be used was 18-Volt. He had a suitable and quite fascinating in-game appearance but nothing related to any of the WarioWare graphics, it’s like the dream had composed its own game graphics for him. There wasn’t much time with 18-Volt though and it seemed like you would only use him on the bottom floor.

To get out the cave, it was now switched to Murray who was in his Sly 4 appearance. The dream played out his scene for a lengthy amount of time as it showed him jumping and moving his way across various platforms. It almost felt like 18-Volt was the initial basics tutorial character and Murray was the extended tutorial character. Murray’s scene ended when he was reaching the top of the giant hole and now blue sky was shown.

The dream was now playing normally and from my perspective; I was the one moving around. It was this completely unknown area but from what I could see, it was a series of islands on high cliffs; the scenery was breathtaking. I ended up crossing over to another island by flying over some sort of white painted railway track. After that, I explored this other island for a little while and on it, I found this campus building that was claiming to be Deakin University.

I went over into the main courtyard and I could see WB talking to her friend Becky as well as some other girls, I have forgotten WB’s appearance though. Before I could even reach them though, WB saw me and so she got up and quickly walked off in a huff, looking extremely pissed off. She was too far away for me to ask what was wrong, because I didn’t know, and so the only way I could seem to communicate was with a facial expression. The dream played a close up of her and she quietly said angrily, “We’ve stopped talking”, making a gesture like she was declaring me to stop something.

I could actually feel my heart breaking in this dream as I tried to contain my external emotions. I felt that there was nothing else to do and so I left that island and went back to the island that I was previously on. When I got back there, I noticed the Sorceress from Spyro 3 flying around in her flying saucer and this dream added an extra creepy vibe to her as well, making her look super evil and menacing compared to her real life in-game portrayal. When I got close enough to the sorceress, the dream camera and the plot went back into game mode again.

The graphics of the intro were extremely blocky to start off with like the game was supposed to have been from the 90s. This made the sorceress look even more scary and the same trembly feeling could be felt like when WB had previously hurt my feelings. All of a sudden, the graphics went to a neater version, and so I felt like this was now a remaster comparison. I stated to myself that I preferred these graphics better. But then the dream went back to the old graphics and this time, I was more creeped out. I was begging for the dream to change to the newer graphics and it did, but only towards the end of the current scene.

I have forgotten the plot of this game intro but there was something else flying by the sorceress and she and this character were plotting their evil threat onto the land. I can then feel some energy radiating from somewhere else and so I find a while at the side of a hill. At first, there is nothing in the seemingly dark hole but it doesn’t take long before Murray and 18-Volt reveal themselves, having the same appearance as they did at the start of the dream. Both sticking their head out, Murray and 18-Volt are just staring at me, looking super concerned, their faces in some sort of grimacing position.

Shortly after a few seconds though, Murray gives 18-Volt a look as if he’s prompting 18-Volt to do something and take action. I am still standing far away from the cave entrance and so 18-Volt leans out a bit more and beckons with his hand for me to come to them quickly. Once I came close enough to the entrance of the cave, 18-Volt extended his arm out and helped me into the cave. Once I was safely in the cave with Murray and 18-Volt, the dream ended.



Dream 516: Results (Competition #9)
Competition Night: 23
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: Murray & 18-Volt
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 6.0
Calculation Details:
- Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0)
- Have A Dream Guide Automatically Appear: Murray (0.5)
- Have A Dream Guide Automatically Appear: 18-Volt (0.5)
- Fly (1.0)
- 3-Day Recall Chain (3.0)

+ Previous Total: 121.5
Total Accumulated Points: 127.5



What's interesting is that at the end of the dream, it felt like it was actually going to loop! The fact that Murray and 18-Volt had gotten me into the cave and it was going to be those two as playable characters again.

Date of Dream: THU 27 DEC - 2018



Dream No. 515 - Separated Sections

Dream 515 A - Paid Parking
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I can remember, my mum and I were planning to go to Fountain Gate Shopping Centre. There was a catch though; apparently the shopping centre had introduced paid parking. From 6:00 AM to 3:00 PM, the parking would be free from 3:00 PM onwards, if you parked for more than 3 hours, you had to pay.

My dad suggested that if we turned up at 1:00 PM or 2:00 PM, we could get away with staying for more than three hours without having to pay. There were a few scene of my mum and I at the shopping centre and then the dream ended

Dream 515 B - An Unsettling Teacher
I don’t remember how this dream started. From where I do remember, I was the grounds of Camelot Rise Primary School, which in this dream, was a P – 12 school. I was outside and not many other people were around. I thought to myself, “everyone is in classes but since I’m close to graduating, I’m allowed to be out here”. Eventually, I came across this teacher (that does not exist in real life) and there was some creepy vibe about her.

I figured I had to get away from her. At the start, it seemed to be okay but after a while, I felt like the teacher was now looking for me and was going to be coming after me. I flew all over the yard, in the sitting position just like if I was riding on a dream guide’s lap, the only difference is that I wasn’t. I was thinking to myself, “I have to keep moving or she’ll catch me”. As the dream progressed though, the teacher’s presence seemed to become more menacing again.

I was now running across the main courtyard area, screaming for Dreamy WB at the top of my lungs. I was terrified and she wasn’t appearing, so I had to keep on screaming, “DREAMY WB!!!!!”. Still, nothing was happening and so I also called by her alternate identity, Miss T. I was actually screaming so loud that I could feel my throat vigorously vibrating in this dream. Still nothing and I could feel the teacher’s presence more and more. I was now beginning at a motormouth pace, saying something like “Dreamy WB please help me this is super important and I really need you here!”.

Just as I had finished saying my super fast sentence, the teacher appeared right in front of me and was giving me that menacing grin again. My heart now pounding faster than anything, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and thank the Lord, it was a miracle. Dreamy WB’s face was on the phone screen, in an animated motion, and she was smiling at me as well as gesturing some things to me. I now had a sense of confidence about me as I showed the teacher the phone screen, pointing to Dreamy WB and saying to the teachers, “Do you know who she is? If you hurt me, she’s gonna get you”.

For the next scene of the dream, I was in a classroom with my Year 5 teacher from real life. The tables in the classroom were made of cardboard and seating arrangements were very crammed, the teacher inviting me to pick a spot. The scene shortly played her writing on the board. After a while, I was back outside but I have forgotten how the dream ended.



Dream 515: Results (Competition #9)

515 A
Competition Night: 22
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes

515 B
Competition Night: 22
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: Dreamy WB
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 2.5
Calculation Details:
- Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5)
- Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0)
- Summon A Dream Guide: Dreamy WB (1.0)

+ Previous Total: 119.0
Total Accumulated Points: 121.5

Date of Dream: WED 26 DEC - 2018



Dream No. 514 - The Scary Impostor


I don’t remember much about this dream. All I can remember is that BK had appeared but the dream had distorted him really badly. He was so scary that I was rushed awake.



Dream 514: Results (Competition #9)
Competition Night: 21
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 0.5
Calculation Details:
- Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5)

+ Previous Total: 118.5
Total Accumulated Points: 119.0

Date of Dream: SAT 22 DEC - 2018



Dream No. 513 - Separated Sections

Dream 513 A - Cat Attack (Nightmare!)
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I do remember, I was looking on the internet on my phone while I was heading towards my bedroom. As I came into my bedroom, I discovered that the cat had been in there and just like in real life, that annoyed me. I started yelling at her to shoo and she did, but that wasn’t the end, although there was now a massive pile of fur on my bed.

There was another cat in there, looking exactly the same as the cat that had just ran out. This cat had climbed up onto the bed from where it was originally under the bed. I told it to shoo but this one wouldn’t budge and rather, the more I said it, the more aggressive this cat seemed to get. Eventually, the room darkened and the cat’s eyes changed from a green colour to completely black pupils, which was starting to scare me. The cat then wiggled its bottom and did an aerial dive to attack me. This ultimate gave me a fright and forced me awake.

Dream 513 B - Returned To The Library
I don’t remember what happened at the start of the dream. From where I do remember, I was apparently at some unknown library, studying with some other people for my uni course. There were mostly girls, I can’t remember them all but a couple of them were Asian. We did speak but I have forgotten what was said. At a later stage of the dream, I decided to wander off somewhere and explore the rest of the unknown building complex. There I ended up at was some sort of hospital complex on the upper floor. The scene is very blurry though as to what I was exactly doing there.

Eventually, I decided that I wanted to go back to the library but realised I was lost and that I couldn’t find my way back. I devised the best solution was to call 18-Volt and have him take me back there. For a few times, I called out, “18-Volt!”, at first, nothing happening. After about four or five attempts though, he came but he wasn’t necessarily accurate in terms of appearance. In this dream, he seemed to be in his sixties. He had grey hair and his skin was more of a whiter tone than usual. In terms of clothing, he wore a white shirt and a blazer, replacing his green jacket, but the rest of his clothing was the same as in-game, including his glasses.

He seemed to have a bit more of a tougher, “no nonsense” disposition in this dream but his energy was making me feel at ease. I asked him if he could help me find my way back to the library and he said he would. In just a matter of what seemed like a few seconds, I jumped onto him and wrapped my legs around his waist and he instantly placed his arms in the correct positions on my upper back and lower back. He then got moving but I couldn’t tell where he was going

Where as I thought he was going to help with elevator exposure again, he decided to go and carry me down the stairs. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, as I asked him, “how come you didn’t take me down the lift?”. In a seemingly firm and abrupt tone, he replied “you’re not ready”. He then continued to carry me down the hallways and towards the library. Once we reached the library, I checked if there was somewhere for 18-Volt to sit but it didn’t seem like there was, so he put me down and left.

I was now closely examining all the furniture and when I found a suitable space, I said something like “damn it, 18-Volt could have stayed!”. That’s then the girl that I was talking to at the start of the dream turned from her computer and gave me a dirty look, kind of like a “grow up” or “so what?” look. That’s all I can remember about this dream.

Dream 513 C - Keep Them Safe
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I can remember, I was in my bedroom, eating some KFC with my hands as well as having a number of paper 18-Volts with me. Two were in a natural pose and the other two were in their Twist League pose. Without knocking, my mum barges into my room and so somehow, still with greasy hands, I have to hide the paper 18-Volts from her. She said something about them but I have forgotten what it was. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream 513: Results (Competition #9)

513 A
Competition Night: 17
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes

513 B
Competition Night: 17
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: 18-Volt
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes

513 C
Competition Night: 17
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 8.0
Calculation Details:
- Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5)
- Full Non-Lucid Dream (1.0)
- Summon A Dream Guide: 18-Volt (1.0)
- Non-Lucid Fragment (0.5)
- 5-Day Recall Chain (5.0)

+ Previous Total: 110.5
Total Accumulated Points: 118.5

Date of Dream: THU 20 DEC - 2018



Dream No. 511 - Separated Sections

Dream 511 A - A Calming Sight
I don’t remember much about this dream. From where I can remember, I was in a completely unknown area. 18-Volt spontaneously appeared this time, he was in his full WarioWare Gold appearance. All he seemed to do in this dream was float in-front of me as he gave a warm smile, he held this position for a while. That’s all I can remember about this dream.

Dream 511 B - The Sickening Platter
I don’t remember much about this dream. From what I can remember, I was at a distorted version of Monash University with my mum and grandma. In the main admin building of the campus, there was this platter of food sitting on the ground. In the plate were chips, water and this absolutely disgusting complexion of pig organs! I cringed really badly as I tried to finish all the food on the plate. I discovered I couldn’t finish it and so left it before I felt really sick. That’s all I can remember about this dream.



Dream 511: Results (Competition #9)

511 A
Competition Night: 15
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: 18-Volt
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes

511 B
Competition Night: 15
Lucid or Non-Lucid?: Non-Lucid
Dream Guide: None
Emergency Team: None
Eligible For Competition Points: Yes



Points For This Entry: 4.5
Calculation Details:
- Non-Lucid Fragment x2 (1.0)
- Have A Dream Guide Automatically Appear: 18-Volt (0.5)
- 3-Day Recall Chain (3.0)

+ Previous Total: 76.0
Total Accumulated Points: 80.5

Morning of January 3, 2019. Thursday.

Dream #: 19,008-02. Reading time (optimized) 3 min.



My dream self maintains a thread of my conscious self identity in that I remember Zsuzsanna, though no other current factor (such as an awareness I live in Australia) is extant. We are in the King Street mansion (though Zsuzsanna has never been to America). I introduce her to Leonard. They briefly hug. Leonard seems cheerful and glad to see me

The staircase does not appear, so my dream does not vivify as a result. Vestibular system correlation still occurs, as I end up happily flying without effort with Zsuzsanna to a fictitious arcade northeast of the King Street house. [inherited non-linear vestibular system correlation]

In the arcade, which does not have much lighting, the setting eventually vivifies, though Zsuzsanna is no longer present. (Zsuzsanna often serves as an induction simulacrum in one dream and an emerging consciousness simulacrum in another.) I stand in a big electronic game that seemingly combines several other games. It is called “Zombie Wars.” It is like a very sparse and oversized pinball playing field. Facing away to my left and perpendicular to the table I am at, though attached to it, is a pinball machine of regular size. I can control its flippers from where I am even though I cannot see most of its playing field. The game relates to the player being on a quest, but the backstory is unclear. There is an icon displaying a hypodermic needle that holds green fluid. (I vaguely sense that it would result in going deeper into sleep to correctly play the game, but I do not activate it.)

There are also sections to my right. I mostly play around with the controls without any goal in mind. The area is about four times the size of a drafting table, not including the attached pinball machine.

A small device on the upper right has a vertical metal rod that I can guide over an area that represents a map. There is a similar small machine to its right. I continue to play around with the controls. The rod moves around randomly, making a maze-like pattern.

What I mostly enjoy doing for several minutes is making the whole table roll about and shake. [inherited linear vestibular system correlation] The feeling of movement is vivid and pleasing, like being on a ride that is rolling about in all directions. The entire oversized game moves up to two feet in each direction, though it is all random. (No viable gameplay is occurring.) There is presently one other person in the arcade, an unknown male off to my left on the other side of the big room. He is playing a pinball game.

The unknown male owner walks in from behind me, off to my left. I suspect that he is coming to tell us that the arcade is closing, though this turns out to not be the case, as more people come in. (This is a subliminal attempt at left-side-oriented dream state reinduction based on my usual subception of being in the dream state, but which instead triggers RAS.)

The preconscious, as an unfamiliar young blond man of about seventeen, is activated and becomes his typical intrusive self to initiate the waking process. I am still playing around with the controls of the big game. The pinball game that was attached to the left is now more like a video game. It involves small short rockets going down into moon craters as well as shooting lasers at small slowly moving hovering rocks. I score points despite the preconscious chanting gibberish at me in a seemingly sarcastic tone. (Logically, I would not be able to see the screen, as it is facing away from me, but I have two simultaneous viewpoints at this time.)

In my annoyance, I decide to leave, and as a result, there is a subliminal thread of [literal bed space emergence] as I get my hooded sweater. I notice several pairs of my blue jeans strewn about in the room, a subliminal awareness that I do not wear clothes as I sleep. When I go to pick up a pair of my jeans to put on, thinking I will probably leave my other clothes in the arcade, and contemplate flying back to King Street, the waking process initiates as a result.

---

Two distinct forms of (inherited) vestibular system correlation being in the same dream is not very common because of the consciousness initiation factor, but this was a long dream with a few different levels of illusory awareness.

---

The first snippet that i remember was, my pharmacist (D) and I were stuck (I think at work) during a nuclear fall out. People had instructed us to stay inside but he did't agree with it. I trusted him and we started to make our way outside as the bombs dropped. He was leading me frantically through the congested roads on foot when the explosion happened. It was loud as hell and it sounded close even if it wasn't. The hilarious part I realize now is that the geiger counter sound from the Fallout games started to fill my ears. And it wasn't a good feeling at the time. But I remember it increasing in tone rapidly then suddenly stopping few times. I think my fear had something to do with that, I kind of willed it to stop periodically because it was getting to be too terrifying, but I wasn't necessarily lucid.

Another snippet I remember was driving my old Ford Explorer up nearly vertical terrain.

Then at one point my husband had made me an elaborate (and heavy--painfully heavy) diamond ring. I don't even like diamond rings. Apparently a diamond in that ring had been someone's family heirloom melted down to be part of a new ring and they weren't happy with me when they found out. Didn't recognize that dream character but he was very cross with me.

I briefly remember my cat running out my apartment door and into a neighbors apartment. We (random dream characters) spent a long time looking for her and that for a one bedroom apartment, it sure had a lot of fancy corridors etc.

The weirdest dream I had is now vague in my mind. I know I was in the country side. My boss was there as well as my supervisor. I remember standing at some sort of makeshift counter working on God only knows what when someone hugged me from behind. I realized that my friend K had returned from her vacation. It was kinda weird because she isn't really the hugging type. And I enjoyed it far too much. She didn't let go for a solid minute. It was a really good feeling, a wholesome hug. And then at some point in the dream I had fallen victim to some sort of porcupine creature because I distinctly remember my supervisor (S) having to pull out quills all over my arms and face and legs with tweezers.

I just remembered another fragment: I was in a diner where the servers *ice* skated across the floors. Except the ice wasn't like real ice, it was like the surface of a waterbed and covered in rubber. Very bouncy and weird. Apparently I had just started working there and couldn't skate. Whoever my boss was had been teaching my how to skate. I remember him making me sit on his lap at one point and I felt really weird and kept trying to escape. He was a total creep.

I was on vacation with what I think were a bunch of classmates. It must have been over ten years ago. It was at the farm we used to stay at with my family. Suddenly, I noticed a bizarre ray of light on the horizon. It stretched from the ground all the way into the sky. I was like 'oh, no' as ran closer to have a better look. I thought it was a nuclear attack. But then, someone behind me yelled that it was a nuclear meltdown of a power plant. The alarm sirens went off, loud enough to be heard for miles. Everyone got into a panic and ran for their cars to get as far away from the site as possible. So did I. Oddly, I was driving the purple Opel Astra Break my family used to drive in the late 90s/early '00s.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Taking care of a palazzo in some italian town. I have to close the windows at night. Quite a few of them. But I won't sleep there this night, only next one. On leaving I meet Riverstone and as we walk I see a white dog looking sad. He has collar and other accessories but maybe he is lost. I want to feed him something, but I only have fruit and he doesn't want. Then I find a chewing bone in my bag and he goes away all happy with it.

At some shopping mall, food section, I meet the girlfriend of my ex-boss and an ex-coworker. They pretend not seeing me, but I say hi and they walk to me, although thy and the boss's ex says she is still upset with me. I say I already apologized to her boyfriend. She asks if I come over often. Fridays we could meet. They are on the line to eat at some fast-food shack and I leave them. I prefer to go eat at some other place. I go to the end of their line, bump twice with a tiny lady and she is upset. I say sorry, because I was careless.

Visiting Axman. He is really, really busy with his businesses, so we hardly talk, he just instructs me to follow him as he talks on the phone. I find out he hired some professional match makings services for busy professionals. He is pissed of because he was matched with a cleaning lady. He didn't even met her, but he says unless she is a secret genius, no way he would ever like her. I think about his idiosyncrasies and how much I detest his superiority attitudes, but despite that I can feel that I am a bit upset that he looking for another woman to love. I don't want to lose my status. I think about how selfish I am being, but still I do something stupid. I think that a sure way for him to never love another is that I kiss him. So when he finally puts down the phone I grab him with my two hands and kiss him. It's a compassionate kiss, because I know how badly he wants it, but it's also for me, cause my ego wants to imprison him forever. And he surely is hungry for me, he accepts the kiss and grabs me and takes me to a nearby couch where we fall over and we make out. I have mixed feelings. First I like, then it starts feeling weird, I feel like I am kissing an octopus with bad breath. He realizes I am not enjoying and lets go of me. Didn't go so well... He goes check his breath.

Meanwhile I encounter Clara who takes me for a walk outside, where there is a tunnel through some rock and a beautiful forested hill on the other side. She talks about some earthquake that displaced rocks and killed people. Then I recognize this is the place I saw on the news and tell her we should go, this isn't safe. Then notice some fallen rocks and others that could fall at any moment.
I go inside a building nearby where some VIP event is taking place. A fashion show is happening and I watch it from a balcony on the first floor. Elaine from Seinfeld and a couple other chic ladies are sitting on a couch talking about vanities. I sit with them just to see if they accept me and if I am able to join the conversation. But it is just so empty. Then Licas comes and brings one piece of clothing, a tunic or poncho made of transparent fabric with embroideries and I say she looks like me in my "curtain phase" when I wore curtain like clothes only. We laugh.

Morning of December 31, 2018. Monday.

Dream #: 19,005-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



There are threads of my conscious self identity present in my otherwise subliminal state, but only those which include a partial recall of my usage of the Internet for my online dream journal. [dream-related theme in a dream]

The location is undefined and unknown (to my conscious self), though implied to be where I am currently living. The website that includes my dream journal is unlike any in waking life. There are three main panels, two vertical ones at the top and a horizontal one across the bottom. Its color scheme is mostly cyan and blue.

I discover at least three comments on my dream journal entries of which are about a year old. Dream journal entries appear in the right panel and comments are in the left. The bottom panel is for website navigation. Each comment is about three short paragraphs in length and from an unknown person. Each comment is asinine and stemming from the usual misconceptions about dreams that plague people and this society as a whole. [reading to increase dream state awareness]

One comment relates to natural melatonin mediation (as water induction and reinduction), which is also a factor of ultradian rhythm dynamics. However, the gist of the comment is asinine and ill-conceived. The other comments are relevant to so-called lucid dreaming but are erroneous in their assumptions. I will probably not reply to the comments. I am considering deletion without reading it all as all three commentators sound oblivious to the content of my journal. (The monothematic delusion and motivated reasoning of people who pretend to understand the “meaning” of dreams have been of zero interest to me since childhood because of my lifelong knowledge of the legitimate causes of induction, dreaming, and waking processes.)

In my focus on the fictitious website, my dream changes into the recurring “paper technology” mode. The site now consists of sheets of A4 paper. I turn them as loose pages, being slightly puzzled as to what order they will preserve.

---

The recurring distortion of “paper technology” has begun to interest me more over the years even though it is solely a factor of the dream state (as much dream content is). There are probable explanations for this anomaly, though there is also a certain level of ambiguity depending on my dream self mode and how much of my conscious self identity is extant.

Electricity and technology are autosymbolism for the mind in the subception of REM sleep, analogous to neuronal energy and thinking processes (which are otherwise absent in the subliminal dream self mode). I developed reading in dreams in childhood to deliberately maintain focus on the dream state (which I learned from my mother and her acknowledgment of how text in dreams often changes or transforms into random letters).

As with other induction, dreaming, and waking processes, it is not always preconsciously or interconsciously personified (other than in the last dream of a sleep cycle). “Paper technology” is probably only a factor of absence of wakefulness as with many dream state factors.

---

Morning of December 30, 2018. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,004-02. Reading time: 46 sec.



In the subliminal mode, I find myself on a bus in an unknown city. (It may be either La Crosse in America or Brisbane in Australia as I do not focus on where the driver’s side is.) It seems to be early afternoon.

The bus eventually ends up going in the opposite direction with no concern on my part, as it may be a factor of the route it is taking. I continue to focus on how I am going to post a dream about my bus trip to the location where I am going to post it. In the back of my mind, I think about the main factor being “linear vestibular system correlation.” I wake before the bus stops anywhere.

---

This dream is not unusual for me. There have been many times throughout my life since childhood when I was aware of the dreaming processes and their autosymbolic meaning, as well as maintaining willful but subliminal dream control, without being aware I am dreaming. This fact seems to make me different from the majority of people who seem to have no understanding that dreams are autosymbolically concurrent with the dreaming processes themselves.

---

Dream 4:21 a.m. 12/30/2018

I see a woman, younger than me. about 5'4" oval face, dark long hair with a hint of light brown or red in it. Big hazel eyes with dark large round glasses. I do not know her in real life, but in the dream I seem to have some sort of bond with her. Like I am in love with her or fancy her, or just know her extremely well. Does not seem to be in a sexual way, just more "love" or "familiar person to me" feeling.

She has a little brother in the dream, about 4-5 years old, smart (like the kid on "Jerry Maguire", intuitive) he's only in the dream as a meet and greet and I do not see him the rest of the dream.
the boy also had dark hair, short bowl cut style, very rounded face.. could sense a bit of highly charged energy from him, like his cerebral ability of thinking was very strong. but for some reason did not bother me in the dream.

She also has a crazy ex (boyfriend or husband, not sure which) he keeps coming after her, but never succeeds in what he has planned or does.. it's like he keeps coming and then (poofs or phases out) at the last second.

She also has a roommate (kind of a jerk, but understandable why) but not really concerned over it. I seem to understand why he is this way and I can see him. about 30-35 years of age, dirty dishwater hair, cut short (bottom of neck, but looks wavy like a surfer cut) I look at him and I seem to notice his crows feet at a young age and the stress lines on his face and I can almost sense that hes been though not just hell and back, but the man never gets a break, something is always going on and hes always in the middle of it, either willfully or not.. (a feeling like) a problem, you don't know is a problem, until you realize it is a problem but then realize your in the middle of it and dunno how you got there, yet somehow you have to fight your way through it. The man seems angry and hurt, but understandably so. (and I seem not to be concerned about it)

The girl who has "no name" seems to also feel or sense like I do here in the dream, or at least same feelings. I really strong sense we know each-other or were in love with each-other (really not sure how to describe that feeling)

Every time we went somewhere we ended up were ice was and it seemed almost totally random, but it was always different. a different car, a different spot.

we were driving along and the "ex" is behind us, feeling like we are being chased. our car falls into the water and we survive.
then we are just driving down the road and were on an iceberg like landscape and the top layer of ice breaks and cracks. I get out of the car and make my way to the front middle of the windshield. as i reach for her hand. the car suddenly falls into the water and you hear her scream in panic.. somehow I get her out.
then were sitting there having dinner and then finish dinner and we get into another car and the car slides backwards, and I step on the gas and it just keeps sliding. then the roadway cracks and splits up and we angle into something like a "sinkhole" filled with water.

this repeats in different scenes and ways at least 30+ times in my head or at least to last knowable count of the event

we end up in a ice cavern and theres a ice tunnel cut from one of the tunnel boring machines. we follow it and we see an entrance to a ice city. so we walk towards it and she said to me "You seem to be full of surprises at your age"

Then I wake up and sit up in bed with a feeling, that this was a test of some kind. I dunno if it was a pass or fail, but for some reason, I felt like it was a test of endurance or inner strength or simple a test of humanitarian ability in crisis. either way the feeling was a bit odd.


================================================== ====================================
in real life:
I am 46 years old married and 6 children all but one out of the house and married 16 years.
recently moved about 6 months ago into a smaller home.
I had a dream, that I do not remember, but I woke up and said allowed "no more" and not really sure why at the time. The day continued on as normal.
after about 2 weeks, I woke up one morning and literally started cleaning "my emotional house" and my "physical one"
old memories and pains and lost things and the should of would of could of things.
I woke up and went to walmart and bought a paper shredder
scanned a few pictures onto my computer from a large chest of pictures and scanned in important things like birth certificates and that sort of thing.
spent almost a solid week, shredding pictures and documents until I shredded everything. documents, medical, social security, family, kids. just things that only I ever would really care about
and in the end I felt relieved in a way. It seems like ever since I moved into this particular house.
It's been a constant state of change and cleaning both physically and emotionally. Not sure why after all these years and it was a conscious choice, until that one morning.
I bought a photo album and only kept maybe 4 pictures that I felt were important. I threw and shredded every other picture you could imagine, graduations, events, memorabilia,
I threw away old jerseys and clothes that I kept for keepsakes. quite literally, just threw it all away and shredded it all.
I went through all my boxes of things I had take with me in 16 years of marriage and I convinced my wife to start cleaning out everything we owned and to my surprise, she was okay with the idea.
we spent almost a month going through ever box, nick nack. we threw away anything that was no longer needed.
my wife didn't throw away much, just consolidated her stuff. Myself, well 46 years of things and now it all fits in a shoe-box and maybe only 5-6 things I kept out of all things *keep in mind nothing was "junk" it all had meaning and value.
I have been here in this new place of residence since June of this year to present. It's amazing just how much crap you can store up in your head and heart and forget about as the years pass and then realize, that you never really dealt with it. Simply life moved on and things just got put away or tucked away and slowly forgotten about over time.
Like many others I have had more then my fair share of hardships. Since moving here, I have had not even a single one. It's oddly quiet and peaceful now and I have more time then I know what to do with... in a bizarre weird-ish way it seems as foreign to me as the word "vacation" hahaaa

not sure if the dream will coincide.. to a point in real life. Not really sure.
In all honesty, this is the first time in all of my 46 years where I have even had time to deal with past things, to stop long enough to even have any retrospection or introspection or insight into my own life, was once I moved into this place. I get the feeling that the dream is a sense or in essence a part of this process.

I would like to get as many possibilities and input on it from others, to see if someone else gets a similar feel for it or even an off the wall interpretation too. all thoughts are welcome here.

Morning of December 29, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 19,003-02. Reading time: 2 min 20 sec.



I enter an atypical dream scenario in a subliminal mode, but with more of a cohesive storyline than usual. It is a science-fiction theme. It is primarily a result of parallel autosymbolism. It consolidates two autosymbolic dynamics of the emerging consciousness, electricity and flying insects, both indicative of consciousness reinitiation and the neuronal energy thereof as well as blue field entoptic phenomenon by way of (the memory of) supraliminal integration.

There are scenes relating to the development of robotic flying insects. I do not perceive them as a threat. I watch them fly in the blue sky. They move in spirals and circular patterns, attempting to create a portal.

Others have conversations about the development of these tiny machines, with the main factor relating to generating enough energy to create a portal to enter another world. The scientists involved seem to think that it will never happen.

Enough of an emerging consciousness thread becomes present to vivify my awareness and place me in a warehouse as a result (a kind of concurrent “waiting room” for the conscious self in REM sleep), which is typically the last setting when it occurs in a long dream, though in this case, an offset dream results, distorting the original theme somewhat.

While in the warehouse, my imaginary physicality is also more pronounced along with my attention. My subception correlates with the factor of transitional vestibular system correlation (one of the “crucial three” that occurs at least once in a dream of each sleep cycle). In this case, it seemingly stems from “Superman” from 1978; the scene where Superman flies upwards and crashes through the ceiling, though my dream self has no viable memory of such an association while in the dream state.

I am still in subliminal mode, yet I begin to consider ceiling (upward directed) RAS mediation (as a result of sleeping more on my back than on my left side in this case). (Dream control and inherent awareness of autosymbolic processes are unrelated to lucidity or “becoming lucid,” contrary to popular misconception and misinformation.) As a result, my dream responds by creating a mason jar full of the robotic insects. Although an unknown companion is holding it, I subliminally create the next scene. (The transitional vestibular system simulacrum remains passive in this event.)

The jar rises into the air. It crashes into the ceiling and somehow creates a hole that the robotic insects fly up through, and into the sky. Glass shards fall downward, but they do not pose a threat. At this point, my dream jumps into a different form.

The tiny robots are now able to create a portal into another world (which is merely my dream self becoming more aware of my real environment in this case). From here, I passively watch a few events.

I am now on another planet with “aliens” that seem like ordinary human beings. The “insects” are now (or now controlling) robots that are about half the size of a person and somewhat like a two-tiered pair of cubes incapable of flight. One is watching an unfamiliar man that seems like a Nazi from World War II, and it seems puzzled. These “aliens” plan on using the robots sent to them to conquer other worlds. I try to make the “alien” sound “alien,” but it sounds like an ordinary language from Earth, though the words sound like gibberish to me, as language skills in dreams are not viable enough to create something of this nature. I wake at this point.

---