non-lucid

07.20.2012

You Can Do it (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I took a nap around 2 PM or so, and woke up around 5:15 PM I guess?

3 hours for a "nap", no wonder my recall of this is better than those skewed recall with 1-2 hour naps.

I'm following an Asian man, he's wearing a hoodie, without the actual top on his head, has glasses on, and your generic light blue jeans. I don't know why I'm following him right now, but it seems we're both having a decent conversation while going through waves of people.

He has black spiked hair as well, but it's only spiked at the edges, everything else is smooth. He's making most of the conversation, and I'm just answering what he asks me. After we get out of the airport, the environment shifts to where it feels like we're in some kind of run-down urban area.

The whole atmosphere just breathes that this area is industrialized. As I'm following the Asian man, I noticed that we're walking on some old and faded out wood. There are a few wood houses and stores to the right of us, but I ignore all of them and focus my attention on following the Asian man.

I look to my left, and I see a few more wooden houses, but they are more spread out, and they are high off the ground and supported by some long wooden beams. The ground itself is pretty much light brown and sandy dirty. As I continue to limit my sensory input on the environment more to catch up with the Asian man I'm following, I randomly asked the man if he plays Runescape.

When he responds, he speaks so fast, that I could barely recognize what he said. Instead of saying "pardon me" or "excuse me," I just tried to speak fast too to show that I didn't understand what he declared.

He takes the hint and speaks slowly, and declares, "HaHaIhave0Range." It felt like a weird name to have, and I even repeated it just to make sure I heard him correctly, which I guess I did since he didn't respond back to me for correction. He then asks me what my Runescape username is.

"King Wuggles."

I start to giggle silently because I realized that sounds so silly to admit to someone, and then the man starts laughing more than I did, which compels me to laugh just as loud as him. I continued to block more of the environment I'm in, and it seems it's night time right now.

I'm finally inside the man's house, at least that's what I think I'm in right now. There's a few light sources, both ranging from faded yellow to bright orange, and I think he said that we can play a game on his Nintendo 64.

The moment he mentioned that, I started to have images of outdated graphics in my head, but I figured I might as well be sociable to the guy, since I am staying at his place (apparently).

He turns on the T.V., and it turns out the game that we're playing on the N64 is actually a Basketball game. I didn't really care too much about it, but it was a good time killer. The graphics were actually pretty decent, dare I even say better than actual N64 graphics.

For the game itself, we were playing in an indoor Basketball stadium, and I think some of the characters' heads were a little bigger than their actual body. I think one of the teams we were using were wearing white outfits and long black socks.

I can't remember much of who won or lost, and I could care less. The guy disappears, and I assume he's just going out to get something, and then the dream shifts to where I'm outside again.

It's not night time anymore, but close to it, and I can still see the sun on the horizon. I'm standing on the light brown sandy ground surface I mentioned before when I was following the Asian man. There are a few vehicles that look like your 1960s type of small trucks and cars passing by me.

I wasn't sure how these people were able to distinguish the proper lanes to be on, since I couldn't see any lines that would majorly help with preventing accidents. I see the house that I was in before the dream shift, and I immediately start running to get there.

I see a vehicle coming to my direction going diagonally on my right side, which leads me to assume the driver will keep going that path. I run a little faster from this assumption, and she nearly runs me over.

I pause for a moment, turned around to look back at the idiot trying to run me over, but I knew I couldn't do anything about it. The reason being is that when she was driving, she was either so lifeless to not know where she's going, or she's being too careful to where she's not actually paying attention to the area she's driving at.

I somehow jump up on top of the same house that's elevated through long wooden beams, or maybe I climbed a ladder, not too sure on that. I noticed the dream environment changes into night time again instead of being in the onset of it.

The place is empty, and I'm still outside of the small house. It has a square walkway for you to see things outside before actually going into the house.

After looking around for a little while, I see a HUGE dog that looks like an Alaskan dog, or at least a hybrid of it.

I thought I would feel afraid when it jumped up, but it seems in the back of my mind that I met this dog before. I even presumed that this was the Asian man's pet as well, and I tried to get its attention by saying,

"Hey boy!"

But it doesn't pay attention to me, it simply passes by me and jumps down where I went up. I felt a little disappointed because the dog had this energy that it could be playful and fun to be around. As soon as it jumps off the place I went up, it's like the bottom area was saturated with darkness, and I could not visualize where the dog was going to go.

This prompts me to go back inside of the small house, since it's getting a little too dark out here. Everything is quiet, and I walk a little bit to hear someone talking. The voice sounds like teenager girl, maybe 16 years of age, or at least close to my age of being 18.

By the sound of things, she's arguining with her mother, or an older relative. I can't recall her visage well enough unfortunately, but I do remember her wearing a small green hoodie jacket with fairly long strings on the sides to tighten or loosen it.

She had long and beautiful Platinum Blonde hair. I see there's some food on the table she has her hand resting on, and as I get closer to her, I hear the sounds of the older relative yelling at her. I finally glance over to see that it's a tall redheaded lady.

She's wearing a long green or gray jacket. She has glasses on, and she has a fancy hairstyle. It's hard to describe it, but here goes. From her forehead, the hair is slightly cut off to be in a straight form, and then the sides of her are short, but both of them have depth and a nice orange shine to them.

She immediately silences herself when she sees me, probably because it felt awkward to continue yelling while a guest is here. I actually felt I was in the wrong house, but the mother of the girl didn't seem to mind my presence here. The mother seems to be embarrassed that I heard her yell at her daughter, and she turns around probably to go into house clothing.

After that small drama, I look at the food near the girl on the table. It seems to be some huge sausage with hot dog buns made with white flour. It's inside of a small paper tray, so I guess they went out to buy the food. I take a small bite out of it.

I can't remember the taste though, but I guess it must've tasted pretty good.

It realize that we're in the kitchen, and the lights above are the only ones on at the moment. I turn to the girl, placed my hand on her shoulder, and declared to her with confidence,

"You can do it."

She asks me what I meant by this, but by the time I could make a response, I forget what happens next.

_________________________

07.20.2012

Cafeteria Round Table (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm sitting down at a round table in a High School I attended before. Everything outside of the range of this table feels blurry, so I let myself focus on what's in range of my peripheral and main direction of vision.

To my left is a girl name Sarah, the same Sarah that accepted my request to sit by her and her friends in lunch, since I moved to that High School in waking life, and needed people to hang around with so I wouldn't look like a social outcast.

I'm wearing long black pants, a gray shirt, and my black winter jacket. Sarah has her attention to me, but it seems I'm ignoring her. I'm still looking at her with my peripheral vision, and it seems she's smiling at me.

She holds this facial expression a little longer until it's just her mouth being neutral. I couldn't say anything to her or the person to the right of me.

The person to the right of me is Joel, someone that used to question why I didn't talk to others in the tennis team in waking life. He's looks depressed....like he usually is. It's time for everyone to leave and go to their next class. As I'm getting out of my chair, there seems to be something in the way of me and Joel's path. I think it's just a small backpack where you just pull the string to tighten it, and I kick somewhere out of the way.

Joel looks down to try and move it, but he sees I already took care of that, and he goes back to looking all depressed and ignoring me again.

I guess this dream was just portraying proof of how quiet I was at the table when I was a senior in High School....oh well.

Non-dream Dream

Dream 1:

My Dad is being an asshole to me and some of my friends. He keeps making us fetch baseballs during a batting practice. I hit one over the house and everyone is impressed.

Dream 2:

I am playing basketball and draining all of my shots - impressed everyone.

Dream 3:

I have a drug garden with various mushrooms, etc. There is a big party for me and I am smoking weed. I mail some of my garden to some place to have it converted into weed but then I realized I can get into serious trouble.

Info:
This is a nightmare fragment I had a long time ago. It's extremely blurry and watered down after all these years. I've done my best to fill in the holes and restore it.

Dream:
The dream starts out in a modified version of my neighborhood. I'm in the driveway next door. It's completely overcast, very windy, and raining very hard. I look up to the sky. The clouds are dark, and moving across the sky at an incredible speed. Worried, I talk to someone nearby. They tell me I'm safe as long as I remain in the driveway. I walk away and continue to watch the raging hurricane, unconvinced.

A few non-lucids:

I was out in the backyard, trying to drain the coy pond, while Danny was napping and Chris was playing xbox. Somehow, I was using the regular water hose to drain it, instead of the water pump. I remember I wanted to leave it on a trickle so he couldn't hear the water running (he can always hear it from the bedroom). So I left it on a trickle, then I heard a big boom of thunder. I looked up but only saw blue sky and a few puffy white clouds.. the house must be blocking the thunderheads. So I walked around the house and I could see some more gray, thicker clouds. I kept walking around until I could see really dark, ominous looking rain clouds. Then I heard "LeeeeeeeeeeSaaaaaaaaa" and I knew what he wanted. "Ok, I'm gonna turn off the water noooooow!" Must have taken me 5 minutes to turn the water off: ever time it felt like it was tightened in the off position, it got loose again and water would start coming out again. I finally got it and went inside. Danny was still in bed, but had just woken up. He started delegating chores for Chris to do.

Earlier in the dream, I got a really great deal on some rib-eye steaks and ribs and chicken, so I started cooking them for dinner. I remember the steaks were something like $10 a pound, and I got 6 good size ones, and it came out to $10. Some how ALL 6 of those rib-eye steaks (bone in even!) came out to only $10. Saweeeeeet. Danny helped himself to the ribs while I cooked the other stuff.

And even earlier than that, I dreamed that we got a package from Danny's aunt Ruth. It was addressed to me, but very difficult to read the handwriting. It was a book wrapped in christmas paper, with a christmas card, even though it was in the middle of summer. I opened the present, and it was a huge book titled "URINE". I asked Danny "Are you suuuure Ruth meant to send this to us?" He said "It seems so."

Random, senseless non-lucidity. It was all really vivid though, and I need to be better about recording my non lucids. Also noteworthy: the house looked nothing like our house irl. The back yard kinda did, but the kitchen and livingroom were really bright, though the bedroom was much darker.

I was playing a Zelda game (Twilight Princess) on the Wii. I was running around somewhere (some sort of farm or something) in wolf form. I went under a fence, where I was confronted with two shadow beasts on the other side. They were bigger and more formidable than in Twilight Princess, though. Fortunately, they paid no attention to me.

I spotted the golden wolf and switched to Hylian form for the hidden skills training with the Hero's Shade. This drew the shadow beasts' attention to me. Luckily, they didn't have time to get to me.

Now, this is where things get bizarre. The scene changed to the inside of a candy shop. The owner was a man with short, black hair and a suit. And everything was uber-kawaii chibified to the extreme, like something off the infant section of Yahoo Kids Korea. I think the kawaii desu fairy decided to pay a visit to a dream where she didn't belong. Seriously, the guy's head was bigger than the rest of his body!

"I don't remember this from last time," I said, referring to my first (and only) playthrough of Ocarina of Time. Then, I realized I was holding a Wii remote and remembered that I was playing Twilight Princess. Being still on my first playthrough, I assumed that was just a normal part of the game.

Was playing Diablo and had an argument with a guy. For some reason kara and I were going to Russia. We stopped by Switzerland where the guy from Diablo lived to look at his house. It was giant and made out of glass and wood. You could see some people inside. The house was surrounded by mountains. I wanted the house more than anything and was struck by its beauty.

Wanted to go to burning man really bad but didn't have enough money for the tickets. I was crying and izra gave me some cash so I could buy a ticket. I went there and spent the whole time selling pez. It was really fun and took place in a giant desert house.

20-07-12
around 8:30

Monster Energy
Non-Lucid



I was in my house, I'm sitting on the couch when I decide to walk to the shops. I put my jacket on, and then leave the house. Next thing I remember is being in the shop and walking around, finding things to buy. I remember turning into an aisle, which was filled by lots and lots of Monster energy cans, some where double the size of normal cans. I pick one up and notice that they are boiling hot, this confuses me but I think nothing of it. I turn around and notice this bizarre machine, it was black and had a little compartment bit which you could put the can in. So, I walk over to it and lay the can sideways in the machine. I notice a dial, which had three option, "drizzle", "shower", "storm". I'm confused at what will happen so I choose the shower option, and then a bit of glass slides out and conceals the can. Then water begins spraying inside the compartment, like a car wash. Once it is over, the glass slides back and I lift the can, it isn't wet, but it is very cold. I decide I'm going to buy a few, but then I realize I left my wallet at my house.

I walk through the store, and leave through the main entrance. While walking home, I notice a dog, in the middle of a roundabout, it is leashed to a pole, but the leash is huge so the dog managed to get out that far. The cars are having to go around it, and I decide to leave the area. I begin to walk, but then I notice these two girls walking on the other side of the road. The two of them spot the dog and run over to it, that is when I wake up.

Took melatonin and a b vitamin before bed, for the first time. I had three dreams or so, because I woke up briefly then fell back asleep, but didn't take notes or anything, so I can only remember a bit of one dream, and several parts from the other, but not how they fit together and I KNOW there's a bunch of stuff I forgot to those two. The third is completely gone, as are the rest (if any). The b vitamin didn't really have enough B6 to make a huge difference, but it was there, and the melatonin of course made the dream feel much more stable overall.

The Heist

The first thing I clearly remember, was "observing" some villian setting a trap in the form of a briefcase he would trick us into stealing. I know a BUNCH of stuff happened before this, but I can only recall walking around a mall/hotel like building and climbing through some type of funhouse. After the observing scene, I was standing on a nearby rooftop with three other people, one of which may have been Dean from Supernatural, and I may have been Sam, but I'm not sure. One of the other people was a (rather attractive) girl, but I can't remember details, and I remember nothing at all about the third person. We were arguing about if we should try to steal this briefcase, and how we should do it. Eventually, Dean said something along the lines of, "No, I can't do this! This is your thing," referring to the complicated computer hacking I would have to do. I think we jumped down to the ground floor of the building with the briefcase, went in the lobby (which felt more like a hospital waiting room than the lobby of a bank), and climbed through the air ducts into a bedroom a few floors up. And I just remembered another part where I was a girl (possibly the other girl in the group), trying to trick some lady in a hotel lobby (which looked like the inside of a department store), but I don't remember why or how, or when this fit into the timeline. After we got into the bedroom, apparently Dean and I had to trick two bisexual girls into thinking that we were also bisexual. I can't remember if this actually had something to do with the briefcase, or if we completely forgot about it and were just lying to try to get in their pants. I believe it was the former. I don't remember any specific images or details, but at some point me and the girl were arguing about some kind of transformation.

Dream Frag

I was on an island somewhere, which had a very video game-ish feel to it, as if it were something out of a Mario level. There was a part where someone told me "not to do it." Apparently he was referring to some kind of tunnel through the water, which had floating rings (like inside Clanker on Banjo-Kazooie) and a shark in it, that chased me when I went into it. I think I may have flown briefly around the island beforehand.

I'm using the Subliminal technique to induce some kind of results. The first night as you readers would know I fell flat on my face pretty good due to stress. This was after I listened to the full song, nothing for the second night when I tried 15 minutes each. But now I listened to the entire first song and I ended up with some reasonable results.

Results:
everything was a bit more vivid and I remember so much more, it is still coming to me in pieces, but I'm grateful it's even coming to me at all . I'm surprised I'm able to even have a few memories of the first dream out of the 3. Before it was just one semi vivid shot. What I find also weird was the the fact that I barely remember the transitions from dream to dream, but I saw them for the first time. I thought my dreams just skipped O.o

The Dream:
Dream 1 had me and my little bro in it. We we're working together to get out of this weird water plant of some sort. It was an obstacle course kind of like those crazy Japanese game shows where people get the shiz knocked out of them. But this course required me and my brother's team work to figure out the landscape, and find the switches to help us find another exit. I'm pretty sure that if either of us did something wrong then we' fall into whatever kind of crazy water that was. I was in a metal lift and I was watching my brother work his way to a switch. I was hoping he'd hit the right one. He shimmied his way to it then he hit the switch and the lift worked. After that we were both trying to get out of there through a small door way on the floor.

The second dream came after this, as I said I barely remember the transitions but the fact that I have a fragment is something at least. Anyway; the second dream merges with the third one. after me and my bro fall through the little trap door, the scene changes. There is a weird fiery place where these creatures live and people die. There were catwalks everywhere that allowed us to walk over all of the molten metal carnage, but after that the 3rd dream transitions in and both work hand and hand to make the next plot.

The third dream (or section) had me, and almost everyone I know as of now located in this huge store warehouse next to a shore. Everyone in this place camped out, and chilled here. However I think there was more to it than just having a good time. Inside this warehouse there was a small entrance on the floor somewhere that allowed the creatures to come in and cause a ruckus. We had to run and take cover behind the giant isle shelves in order to keep out of reach of them as they stormed in. I remember this happening twice, and I was frantically trying to get something before they came the 1st time. I was around the house cleaning appliances section, and right in front of me I saw bathroom toilet papers in a nice stack. Other parts of the dream had me looking ou in the docking area of the warehouse where a ship could come in and directly have it's cargo unloaded into the warehouse. But instead there was a tent out there where someone from my class was. the little tent was on a float of some sort. Next to that there was a dock that allowed passage to the tent, and it was also where the scene outside changes between a parking lot and a dock. a car was out there (I think it was my car) and I walked up to it. I could see inside it, and I could see the little droplets of rain running down the car surface as I walked around it. There was also another section of the dream where I saw all 3 of my friends and some other ones. And we were sitting together somewhere and I was talking to them. the dream ended when everyone went into the place where the monsters were and confronted them. I remember only so much, but the things I do remember are vivid. And I would consider this a dream sign because it is happening more than once. There was a small waterfall of tar that was coming from somewhere in this place, and it ran down a moving escalator of some sort. As I looked at it, the tar ran down ahead and revealed countless skeletons. These skeletons were picked dry of everything; probably by the tar.

There were a number of other small things that I remember that are avoiding me right now. But the fact is that I'm surprised the vividness was to the level that it was in this dream. Now if this had been either an epic dream, or one of those dreams that I have on rare occasions that have a mass amount of detail, then I think there would be a lot of potential there. Especially the vivid dreams, which in their own category are entirely epic in every sense of the meaning. Those I'll cover some other time. I'm going to start trying to squeeze both songs in to see what kind of result I get starting tonight. Hopefully the results are some kind of lucidity, so I can work from there and my brain doesn't have an epic fart and send me into a tail spin so bad that my subconscious mind gets sent into the next astral plain and back. XD

Reality/Non-Lucid/Lucid

Hrs. slept: 7

Muddled yet again. I have forgotten quite a lot but I’ll type what I do remember. Often when I’m taking a trip somewhere I will have dreams weeks in advance about forgetting luggage or not being packed in time or missing my trips entirely… this is one of those dreams.

I was getting ready for my NYC trip last minute. I remember packing my suitcase and I know I put my jewelry making stuff in there, and for some reason I put my painting easel and paints in it too. So I felt good about it. Next I know I’m at the airport trying to board the plane and I don’t have my tickets. So I go to try and print them out but I forgot my Eticket code and can’t get on the plane. My trip gets delayed a day and now I’m going on Thursday instead of Wednesday. So I don’t know which day it is but I’m at an airport again and I can’t remember what I was trying to do, but I saw two of my former classmates – Cj and PB. There is some kind of SAT-like test being administered here, and for some reason I don’t want to tell them about my plane mishaps so instead I just pretend I’m there to take the test. Then CJ walks over to me (this is weird) and casually puts a bag of weed under my nose to smell, so I smell it and “nom nom nom” the bag. (Like literally bite it, lightly) He smiles and walks away. I wake up.

I was outside of this little old white house with my girlfriend, lets just call her K, and outside there was movie tickets littered on the ground everywhere. I picked some up and read them, but now after waking up cannot recall what they read. We went into the little white house, which wasn't so little when we went in. There were people in there that I have seen before. They were married and were playfully flirting with each other then ran upstairs to have sex or something. I recognized their faces but not their names. I then realized that I had met them before I started dating my current girlfriend. I met them with my past girlfriend. I've only been in this house in my dreams before. So I'm guessing that this house is only where me and my girlfriend will go together. The two people there came back downstairs and made us this wonderful food. There was mashed potatoes, tacos filled with rice, cheese, beef, and pickles (?). K is allergic to cucumbers so I told her not to eat the tacos or she would get sick, but she did anyways and nothing really happened after that. I never even ate the food (I wish I would have!). That's pretty much all that happened.

I find myself on thoutside of an arena waiting for a Mach to start so I can enter, numorus people around me do the same. The only thing that deprecates us from the arena is a short metal fence. I decide to go for a diamond sward when the mach starts. It starts and I teleport inside the fence and onto a parapet like stone ring around the central area (a dirt arena) a chat menu pops up in frount of my face and I "type" /give diamond sword, and a fine sward constructed of blue diamond pops into my hand. With that I am off and anyone in my path I slash with the rare sward and they teleport outside the fence. Then I get to a person with a diamond staff. I know my sward is superior and I swing ofer head but he blocks it, with no hesitation a make a short and fast swing for his chest and I succeed.( As the dream fades the last thing I remember is meeting one of my old friends on the perapit)

Dream One: I'm at a water park with some family and friends. Everyone seems to be having a great time, but I'm stressing out over something. I don't remember what it was, but considering I had so much go wrong yesterday, I'm sure it's carried over depression and probably not anything specific. There's a guy there with long blond hair, but I'm pretty sure it's not Kurasawa He actually looked a bit like Yo from Deadman Wonderland but several years older and more... hardened? tough? Scruffy? All of the above I guess, lol. Anyways, I'm literally pacing back and forth in front of a pool, and it's dark so the only lights are the ones coming from inside the pools. This guy is standing about six feet away from me at the closest point just watching me pace and wring my hands. I start getting even more upset because no one seems to notice me at all except this guy, and he seems to me indifferent to the fact that I am so upset. He doesn't feel like just some random guy either, in the dream I feel like we're really close, and so being ignored by him makes me even more upset. I feel like I'm going to burst into tears at any moment, and so I just switch to bitch mode and tell him I'm sick of this place and I'm leaving. He reaches out and grabs my arm as I walk past him to the exit though, and spins me around to face him. He asks me if my headache is that bad still, and I look at him like he's crazy. I don't have a head ache, so I ask him what he's talking about. He claims that I posted on facebook I had a headache last night, and he thought the reason I was pacing and wringing my hands was because the migraine hadn't gone away. Apparently he didn't want to say anything because he knew sounds and light would make my head hurt worse. I can't help but laugh because the whole time I thought he was ignoring my mood, he was actually being really considerate, he just didn't understand what was wrong. He gets flustered that I'm laughing and tells me that "father" asked him to watch over me when he was gone, and it's not funny that he's struggling to fulfill that duty. I get dream memories of this "father" actually being a good friend, not really a dad, but we joked and called him father because he was always watching out for us and keeping us out of trouble.

Dream Two: I'm hanging out with a friend that I haven't seem in years. I'll call her G G is skyping with her boyfriend, but when I see the guy on the screen he looks really familiar. I'm pretty sure in fact that I dated him once, but he's giving her a fake name and acting like he's someone different. SO I hide out of view of the camera, pretending to play Legos with my daughter and listen trying to catch the dude making a mistake in his lie. My daughter gets mad at one point and really surprises me telling me the rockets don't go in the hanger they go in the weapons bay. I actually make the comment that my 3 year old knows the difference between a hanger and a weapons bay, I didn't even know there was a difference! Then I look out the friend's back door, and notice that we're on the beach on a fifth or sixth floor with a balcony. I stand half out the door and watch the water below. I see something red floating in the water that looks like a big red barrel, and I think that's really odd. I wake up.

Dream Three: I'm walking through a foggy dark tunnel area. I have two different vision options, like in Assassins creed you have "eagle vision" and I'm fighting monsters kind of like Pokemon. I have a little radar that tells me when one is nearby, but some can only be seen with the special vision while others can only be seen with normal vision. I reach a set of four monsters that I can not beat. I have to beat them one at a time, and can skip one monster that I choose, but for some reason they kick my but and I get game over three times before I finally wake up.

Dream Four: I'm in the dark walking through a field with my two kids. I see a gypsy wagon nearby, and I walk towards it. There's a lady selling candies in the wagon. She's pretty, but then she smiles and is missing several teeth and looks a bit creepy. I try not to let it bother me, and my kids can't see her because the wagon is so tall. I buy a couple of suckers from her for the kids, but they're not like suckers, they're more like sweet tarts on a stick. I let the kids start eating them, and I start walking towards this glowing campfire. I pass by some bleachers to get there, and wonder if this is a football field or something with no markings. There's a group of people at the campfire, and a guy standing on a box in front of them all, talking loudly and happily, like he's teaching and telling a story at the same time. Again, it's a guy with long blond hair almost to his shoulders. The kids and I get into the ring of light from the campfire, and then the guy jumps down excitedly and fishes me out of the crowd. Everyone seems happy to see me, and I'm not really sure who all the people are. The guy tells me he's glad I showed up when I did, we need to go over some of our plans. Then he pulls me to the side, and all the people give us distance. We sit down on the grass and he starts rambling off plans that I feel like I need to write down. I tell him to hold on I need to write this down, and I grab a pencil and notebook out of my bag. I reposition myself so I'm laying down on my belly next to him now and can use the ground to write on. Suddenly though, he tenses up and stops talking. I start wondering if maybe I'm too close, maybe I shouldn't have laid down to write because it seems to be making him uncomfortable. He starts talking again, but when he starts to talk with his hands, and his elbow bumps me he goes silent and scoots away. I look up to see my kids still with the group of people eating their suckers and laughing and making silly faces. I feel upset, and I wonder why I'm so upset, nothing bad has happened, but I'm still really depressed suddenly and every little thing is making me sad. My kids having fun without me, the guy suddenly moving away and not finishing talking so I can take notes. I wake up, and can't manage to go back to sleep.

I at least know the reason behind the sad theme to my dreams last night. I had one of those days where it feels like everything is going wrong. We got a water leak, I was supposed to get a new phone but didn't because the salesman couldn't tell me what was reliable and didn't know jack about his phones, my husband didn't watch the kids while I was trying to talk to the salesman so they literally climbed the display at the phone store, when we got home my phone decided once again to start acting up and stopped charging (but this morning it charges with no problems, wtf) and when I go to listen to music to make me feel better, my mp3 programs decides it's going to crash everytime I open it. Yes, it was a bunch of trivial crap that shouldn't have bothered me, but putting it on top of the crap that's been going on for the last month (and had made me so disinterested in dreams as of late) it was enough that I actually cried tears of relief when I got my mp3 player to work.

My phone deleted my notes, so I can only remember a few quick dreams from this night:

Dream One: I remember is being in an old roman like city, underneath a statue. the head has been knocked off the statue, and I'm trying to repair it. There's someone with me, and I'm telling who ever it is that there didn't used to be a hose attached tot he head, but when it was broken we discovered that there were hoses and pipes all throughout the statue and we didn't know what they were for.

Dream Two: I'm going through some school halls carrying books in a stroller. I'm with my husband and some other people, and we drop the strollers off at a concession stand window at the gym. Then My daughter grabs a cookie and starts eating it, and everyone's freaking out because the cookies weren't cooked yet.

Dream Three: I was running away from a snake in the woods at my grandpa's house. Somehow I end up carrying a bunch of stuff too. I walk up the stairs because the snake is no longer behind me, and I think I should reality check because I should always reality check when something odd happens. I look at my hand that's carrying a steering wheel, and I count my fingers. I count five fingers and a thumb. I recount, still five fingers and a thumb. I shake my head and say, "That's not right, I should have four fingers and a thumb!" And I recount a third time still convinced I can't be dreaming. This time I have the appropriate number of fingers and move on with the dream, never becoming lucid. I went inside and talked to my cousins, but what about I can't remember as the rest of the dream is fuzzy.

07.20.2012

Missed Flight and Blind Rage (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside of a two story house, and right now, I can tell that it's already night time, or at least early morning where it's still dark outside. It feels like I'm at my uncle's house, except with a few modifications to it.

The house, at least the top floor, is a little bigger than normal, because it isn't split off to where there's two different floors, it's just one big floor linking to several rooms. It feels like we went out to some kind of party or at least went to a fancy restaurant.

I go inside a room that's apparently the guest bedroom for me, and I look over to my left to see a Black TV Cable box. I look at the time passively, not really double-checking if it's going to alter. It's in green digital font, and the time was around 5:37 AM or 5:57 AM.

I had a feeling that I had a flight to go that would depart around 7:45 AM I think, and I felt too tired to even care. Bad idea...

As I'm drifting to sleep, I wake up around 7 something AM in the dream, and then the awareness that I'm not going to make my flight back home starts coming back to me. I panic a little, because I would have to contact my father that I couldn't make my flight.

And then I would have to worry on what he's going to say to that, wondering what kept me back and blah blah blah blah blah blah.....

I decided that it can't be helped, so I thought about having it re-booked instead, and I can always tell him later on. I honestly didn't really care too much oh whether or not my father knows I missed my flight because I overslept. I shift my focus back to being in the house, and as I'm getting up, I get another feeling that I was working on two drawings before.

I keep walking on the top floor until I see a table in the middle with two mini sized poster paper with portraits of myself. One drawing was me posed as if I'm drawing something with my head down, and the other one.......I can't remember what it was exactly.

I think I come back to those two drawings, and I look back to the first one I described. I take a good look at it, and the details start becoming more vivid and clear. It looks like I did the drawing myself, and I tried not to touch it too much because it was a graphite drawing, and didn't want the lead smearing on my finger.

I look at the drawing closely again, and I see a blue ink mark.

I get pissed....someone either did this out of spite, or was completely fucking clueless when they wanted to see if a pen had ink in it and needed a paper to test it. My rage gradually builds up, and I feel like I'm grinding my teeth while keeping my mouth closed. I started to make assumptions of who could have done it.


I shift my focus to my Uncle's sons, and I realized that "J" couldn't have done it, since I had a feeling he told me he didn't do it. Then I try to find "D," trying to suppress my rage until the time was right. I calmly ask him if he was the one who marked on the drawing.

I wasn't cognizant of his mother being close to him at the moment, and he told me that he did do it. What made it worse is that he said it in a passive tone, as if it wasn't a big deal at all.


..............................................

I don't remember what I said exactly, but I know I screamed at him and asked him what the hell is wrong with him. Then I remember that my Uncle probably heard all of this.

I tried calming down quickly, because I hear my Uncle footsteps. I wasn't worried on how he would respond, it's just that I didn't want him to see me pissed off, since I always had a calm demeanor and respectful tone towards my uncle and his family.

My Uncle comes closer to me and asks me what I would like for breakfast, seems he didn't really hear what I said to "D." I'm still trying to get out of the thought process of worrying that my Uncle would be concerned on why I screamed at D, and after a few seconds, I calmed down completely.

I told my Uncle I would like some Pancakes, and a few other things I can't remember, since I still had my mind on calming down with the mark on the drawing.

My uncle leaves, and then I shift my attention back at "D" and his mother. His mother changes the conversation immediately, and she's talking about something.

This is the part that confuses me, I'm not sure if someone else explains it to her, or if she's explaining it to me. I also have thoughts about missing the airport flight, and I get a mental image of several air planes outside at an airport, and seeing several flags hanging on tilted poles.

I regain focus on the two people in front of me.

I'm going to assume that there's a dream shift now, because things feel out of synch right now.

I believe a blonde female, probably around her early 30s is talking to me on how she paid for college. She declared to me that the funding was based on how well she did in her courses, the higher the grade, the more likely she would receive more funding to pay for tuition and other expenses.

There was a specific scholarship where you had to at least have 3 100s in your current semester of courses, which elevated the difficulty of being eligible for the award in the first place. The blonde female shows me that she was able to get it easily. I think she managed to get 6 100s or something like that.

Okay lady, I'm glad you did well and all that, but I don't see how petting your ego is relevant to adding anything to my own knowledge.....sigh...

_________________________

07.20.2012

Old Camera (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I go inside of a room, and it's really dull and boring in here. I see there's a dark brown shelf with a nice wood layering to it. However, the insides of the shelf looked old and dust, and I peek to see what's contained in the shelf.

I think someone is behind me, but I don't pay attention at all of their presence. I see a Camera bag inside, and I immediately take it. I slowly opened it, because I had a feeling something would crawl out, especially if the zipper for the bag was slightly opened to let little critters go in it.

I take the camera out, and this looks like one of those non-digital cameras. That was the initial thought until I turned it on. The screen behind it flashed, and then there's just a blank bright screen that's on. I didn't pay attention to the fact that it wasn't gathering light from the lenses to show its focus.

I look back into the insides of the shelf, and I see a slightly smashed cockroach.

-________-

For some odd reason, even though the camera bag was opposite of the dead cockroach, I didn't want to touch the left side of the Camera, because I had a feeling the cockroach was contained in the bag somehow.

I really can't believe I'm going this far to describe what it was like to take out a camera from a bag.....

_________________________

07.20.2012

New Classroom (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I go inside a classroom, and I try to find a seat. There aren't many people there as yet, and when you go into the class by entering it to your right, if you stick you arm out as if you're going to spread both of them out to make a snow angel or something, the seats were parallel to the direction of your arm.

The desks were very flat and gray, with a nice shine to them, seems things are pretty new in this classroom, or the janitors know how to clean well.

I wanted to sit at the back of the classroom, and since there was a weird seat arrangement for a classroom with a small surface area, sitting in the middle wouldn't be ideal, especially if there were seats on both sides of the desk. Then I realized that I never been to this class before, and I look at the teacher, and he's a tall dark skinned man wearing glasses.

I think he glances at me to see who I was, and I take out a paper out of my backpack with my schedule on it to eventually show the teacher. While I'm in the process of picking up my black backpack, I see with my peripheral vision that an Asian girl is looking at me. She looks a lot like one girl on the tennis team I used to be in the last High School I attended.

Let's call her Angelina, since I doubt she's going to find this information in the first place. I don't know why Angelina is paying attention to me, maybe because she didn't expect me to be in the classroom in the first place.

I go up to the teacher, and I quickly hand him my schedule to show proof that this is the right class that I'm in. He nods and acknowledges this, and I go back to choosing a seat. More people start coming in, and some even put their backpacks on the desk and left for a while to confirm that's the seat they wanted.

Damn it, and they took the good seats, especially the seat that was near the door to leave the class. I tried to look for other seats near the side of the door, since there was a better walkway to quickly leave the glass. I guess it's just a habit for me to speculate on this because I wanted to make sure I was early to class a lot in High School.

More people start coming in, and it gets more complicated trying to find a seat, and I didn't want to sit next to people who had a seat saved for their friend. I had no choice but to go to the back section of the seating arrangement, but fortunately, I was able to get a vacant seat that was at the corner of the side with the walkway to the door.

A girl two seats to the right of me is saving a seat that's on the right of me. The girl she's saving the seat for is Hannah, and to my surprise, she looks exactly like the Hannah I had for my World history class when I was a sophomore in High School. Hannah has her hair tied back, and she's wearing a pink shirt that looks like the ones cheerleaders in high school would wear to show school spirit or something.

After everyone finds their new seat, the teacher begins by having these helmet parts handed out to us. You know those small race cars you have to turn the gear constantly, and then let it go on a flat surface to make it drive automatically until the gears you turned reached their end?

It felt like being in Pre-K or something, and the teacher's impatience with the class not following his instructions for this weird assignment made it even more hilarious, at least it was when I'm recalling it. One helmet part had a mini ramp going down or up, I can't remember, it was like a slide.

We had to attach this helmet on our heads, and somehow arrange the racing car on top, turn the gears a bit, and then wait for it to land on the desk from the ramp it's on. Weird assignment, and it would've been fun if the teacher didn't go bi-polar on us.

I don't remember anything after that, but I do remember a dream fragment related to High School.

I'm walking in the hallway, and it seems it must be break time for students with a specific schedule. Everyone is hanging out with their friends by the lockers on the sides of the hallway, and I hear someone say "Brandon."

I didn't pay attention to them, because I felt it wasn't meant for me, but every time they said "Brandon," it was as if someone was yanking an invisible chain on my ankle, tempting me to turn around to see who it was.

That's all I remember. I guess the recall is okay, considering I woke up to do some small things that kind of skewed the recall a bit. I really do need to get into the habit again of only focusing on writing my dreams, and completely eradicating all logic of daily life when I have that opportunity of not being distracted at all.