non-lucid

Deleted

I, with my friend, was riding the subway back to Finch station, from somewhere around Union (or past). In this subway, each car was 10-15 feet across, and had two sets of doors, one set to let people in/out, and one set inside the car. The doors opened, and my friend said we should go inside the inner doors, in case of a flood. The doors opened again, and two cute girls walked in, as I slipped into the inner compartment with my friend. A moment later, one of the girls (a blonde) came in, looked at us a little weird, and leaned against the opposite wall; I gave her a smile and nod, and returned to talking to my friend, who promptly told me that after prom, he'd missed the subway (or it could've been plane) home, and so he'd been gone for two days instead of one. I followed up with "Yeah, I've had that. Whenever I miss the buses, I just stay at your place." The girl looked at us somewhat mockingly again, and I continued (in a voice implying really-are-you-an-idiot) "Oh, not like that."

At this point, we exited the subway and boarded the streetcar. I can only surmise that my subconscious has no idea what a streetcar is, because this was a chain of little erasers on rails. We rode for a while, and I made smalltalk with the blonde, and could tell she was somewhat interested. At this point, I did something stupid and my "streetcar" came off the rails. I had to jog as quickly as the streetcar and try and get it back on the rails, to void holding up the people in cars behind me. No use, I couldn't get it back on, and eventually, the streetcar sped to be much quicker than myself.

Fragments

I remember being in my bedroom with my sister, my brother, and my brother's friend, playing some kind of block game. I noticed that my laundry basket (which, in reality, I'd placed in front of my door, so I'd remember to do laundry in the morning) was askew, as though I'd opened the door and walked right by it.

I woke up at about 6am this morning..2 hours earlier than I planned to, so I figured it was too early to have passed an REM cycle. I got up, browsed some sites on the computer for a while, then went back to try a WILD at about 7am.

Green = non-lucid
Red = moment before lucidity
Sky Blue = lucid

First Attempt:

I knew I had nearly done it when I felt a huge tingle all over my body, which at some point just broke. It kind of feels like your body "disconnecting" if you were to describe it. Behind my lids, I was seeing some flashes of pictures in the distance, and I was attempting to focus on them. However, I feel like I got too excited at this new sensation, and the pictures soon went away and simply turned into blackness. I opened my eyes to find myself lying in bed.

Second Attempt:

Not willing to give up, I decided to try one more time. It was a strange mix of non-lucidity and brief lucidity, but I am getting there. I once again felt the telltale sign of that "disconnecting" feeling, and this time let it overtake me without trying to focus too hard. Unfortunately, I believe this thought of completely letting go caused me to lose consciousness and I fell into a non-lucid dream...

I was in some type of either spaceship with narrow corridors. I knew I was in danger, I believe I was also with my girlfriend. There were howling noises in the background like wolves, and we were hiding in this dark room, but still light enough to faintly see each other...we were on a chair and I remember hugging her..but for some reason we didn't care about the danger and well it was starting to become "feely."

At this point that dream fades out, and I open my eyes to find my room...or so I thought.

I "woke up" and lay in bed for a few seconds just looking out my window. But something didn't feel right. Outside the window was another building..with a gated fence in front of it. It was also at ground level, when I live on the top floor of an apartment building. At this moment I realized it was a dream.

It felt incredibly stable at first. I walked to the window and looked outside. The sky was dark, everything was shaded in gray, and I was at ground level, inside a black fenced enclosure that looks like one of those city parks with all cement. I felt scared like there was a sense this would be a nightmare, but realizing that I was dreaming, I braved it and stepped outside my window. I believe this is the moment I got ahead of myself: I walked for a bit, then immediately wanted to test the ability to create things. I looked at a spot on cement lot and imagined Holo(anime) standing there. It worked and it didn't. As I did this, it felt like I was focusing on my body lying in bed to work the imagination, rather than my dream body. I became aware of myself lying in bed and try as I might to get the dream to come back, it was too late.

I am definitely going to try more tomorrow however. Now that I know more or less what sleep paralysis feels like to me, I know what to expect and will be able to take things slower.

Travelling. Alone? The purple color. Strange and unknown place. A white church, with a bell tower and a cross on top, covered by trees.

Travelling in what I thought was Manila. Almost got lucid. I was staring hard to read a book, but everything is blurry, and the surrounding is dark/night.

I remember seeing And. V.

Saturday, July 2nd

Much of my memory of these dreams has faded. I waited too long to write them down; they felt very personally revealing and I was admittedly a bit nervous about it. Weird, weird sexual tensions (which makes sense, as I am a notoriously awkward person and have been single for nearly 2 years, the longest amount of time since middle school, which is beginning to fuck with me a little bit.)

I. Russell’s Land

At some point I (we?) had given directions to 2 girls on how to get downtown. It may have been at this point where my dream memory begins, as we see them outside of an unknown house. There is a picnic table in back. As we are walking by it, my hand brushes against one of the girls’. I do this half accidentally, and to my surprise she actually grasps and holds onto it for a second. I take no further action despite this flagrant nonverbal signal.

When I see them again I am on Wrightsville Ave with A.J.R, playing music on the street. They again ask us how to get there, and I have to struggle to answer them because as I am in a dream it is difficult to think logically. They leave and A.L goes with them. We make plans to meet them down there later but do not follow through as A.J.R and I end up playing all night. Apparently we are playing on “Russell’s land.” I remember very little about Russell other than that he seemed quite rednecky.

As A.J.R and I are playing we see O.P. I do not remember any exchanges that occur here. There is also a strange text conversation between C.H and I, something about a naked picture, which I wouldn’t have the balls to ask for in physical reality. In fact, I think I put my phone back in my pocket before flipping to the text ,which would have had the picture in it.

Next thing I remember is their return, we are inside a house and I see A.L has come back and has a new tattoo. He shows it to me, I believe it is on his left pectoral somewhere. As he shows me this one he reveals others that he’s apparently already gotten. They are small and of strange alien symbols. I tell him this new one is “no more than what you’ve got” which is a clumsy way of trying to say that it’s a good new addition but not bigger or more noticeable than any of the others.

The dream jumps and we may be in the backyard of the same house, but it’s still unfamiliar. There is a conversation between two people about the emotionally involved conversations that occur during heavy inoculation. One of them says “Irish people do that, man…” I then see H.S, who has apparently “made good of a one year promise.” I can’t remember what that means anymore, but I do know he is standing there with a lamp made out of some weird plastic contraption that looks like a muffler that’s currently sitting out in my yard for no good reason. I begin to wake up just as I stare at that lamp and start to wonder “hey, is this a dream…?”

II. Don’t Even Think About It.

I am walking into a movie theater, there were people with me but in the beginning of the dream I do not see them. I have the intuition that we are going to see the new movie Zookeeper, and I am immediately apprehensive about this cause from what I’ve seen that movie looks incredibly stupid. When I find out that it only costs a dollar to get in, I think ‘well, fuck it.’

I next remember being inside the theater. There are a group of middle aged women around me talking in British accents, which for some reason I copy.

During the movie I find out that I’m actually with A.J.R and E.G. While watching it (I remember absolutely nothing that happens on the screen) E.G's face and mine get quite close together but I initiate nothing. Later I see E.G and A.J.R cuddling up. Suddenly he literally picks her up in his arms and throws her at me, insinuating I should do something. She lands next to me and says “don’t even think about it.”

Non-Dream/Lucid/Non-Lucid

DREAM 1: I was in a train station. I suddenly though of doing an RC. After realizing I'm dreaming, I didn't actually tried to accomplish one of my dream goals, but to look at my surroundings to see what my dream looks like. I looked at an analog clock. It looked really weird and unreal. It didn't had any numbers from 1 to 5 except for 3 which looked more like 3,5.
DREAM 2: I was at my computer, talking to a bud. He was playing a game that he didn't wanted to give me and I really wanted it cos I was bored and had nothing to play.

This dream was very faded and unclear...its unclarity almost made me vomit!
I really need to make my dreams more vivid.

Dream 1:
I remember building a long barricade out of rusty metal in a field. At one point my old band director gives me a spool of razor wire to add to the barricade, and tells me that its razor sharp andto handle it very carefully.

I decided to try a real WILD while the kid was napping. I used reverse blinking to help me relax and focused on my breathing, repeating the mantra, "I am lucid, The world is vivid." I could feel my body twitching but I don't remember transitioning into the dream. I was suddenly aware that I was showing my hubby an online video of some cute little babies. There were three babies and they were playing, then I realized that they were in a house that looked a lot like mine. I thought maybe they just live in a similar trailer (I mean mobile homes mostly have the same layout). Then I noticed the couch in the video was the EXACT same. I was starting to freak out a little, thinking I had been sent a video from the future. I started to awaken and before I opened my eyes realized that I was just tricked by the dream.

I opened my eyes for just a sec and closed them again, hoping to DEILD, if that's the right term for it. Soon after I was in another dream and I was sitting on the floor by the bookshelf. My son was asleep and my inlaws were at my house. They were acting strange towards me and I realized I had no shirt on, only my shorts and my bra. I felt embarassed and told them sorry over and over that I hadn't realized I had taken my shirt off. They laughed at me and again I started to wake up and realized I was dreaming when it was too late. =/

Then my son woke up, lol.

My family was going up north. We arrived at a pretty nice cottage we must have been renting. It is late, and I watch some terrible Lord of the Rings parody on a portable DVD player in bed. The next morning, I wake up in my bed (no longer in cottage) with my mom standing over me, glaring. She says I took the tape with our home videos and taped over them with a Rage Against the Machine CD. Before I even have time to explain myself, she storms downstairs. I know I didn't do it, but she refuses to believe me. I leave my room, and my brother tells me that he was the one who made the tape. He walks downstairs, and hands my parents a remote control looking device. He wrote "I have no" over the power button, and taped over all of our videos. (FYI, the remote now says "I have no power"). Now all of my parents anger towards me was directed towards my brother. My parents sat me down on our stairs. My mom apologized, and I half-heartedly accepted.
I am now with my brother, my friend Tyler, and a friend of theirs I've never met before. We are at a pretty classy outdoor restaurant. It is their friend's birthday. My brother tells me he is trying to think of more ways to mess with our parents, and that I should help him. We start to form teams for some form of game. I check my phone, and see two missed calls from my friend Ryan. I realize I was supposed to pick him up four hours ago. I call him, and he doesn't answer. I wake up.

june 29 - second night of practicing dream recall

awake
thoughts
dreams

It's around 9 and I have my headphones in; sleeping in the living room
I wake around 11:45 and try recalling any dreams. I rewind the song to just before I woke and listen.
I remember something about Spock. I know this wasn't the main focus of the dream, but this is all I can recall.
I decide to head back to sleep...

My sister has just come home and I wake and check out the clock; it's around 11:55. Damnit and I had just gotten to sleep. I dont expect to recall anything from 10minutes of sleep. Then it hits me. I dont know if it was from earlier that night, or actually within the 10

I'm having dinner with friends. I have never seen any of them, but I know that we are good friends. There are maybe 6 of us. There is this one, beautiful red headed girl with long wavy hair. I think she had some crazy piercings and a plug on one side.
the lot of us get up to leave and I realize that all the tables in the restaurant are empty, save for personal belongings. I walk over to a table and check through a purse. Along the walls there are booth seats; this is where all the diners from the tables went. Everyone is dressed formally and I just realized I went through some lady's purse as she's staring at me. We continue out of the restaurant...
...skip...
...for some reason our group is lurking around the hedges out front of the restaurant. this is all very alice in wonderland. We come across some cavernous areas leading to an ice covered passageway. I ride it down like a slide...
I wind up in some tropical area enclosed by a mountainous range. The dream is now a sort of game that I am playing where I have to save these native villagers from something. I'm failing hard at this game.
This is where the dream ends. I close my eyes and go back to sleep

I'm at the local university, but my computer station from work is there. My friend wants the code to log on. I decline and he leaves.
I log on and suddenly my monitor is displaying some forum about downloads and my friend wants help with it
Wake
back to sleep
I show up late to a chinese restaurant. An old group of friends is waiting for me. My larger friend orders a bunch of those Red Lobster biscuits. This is great. Wait, why do they even have these..?
Wake

well, that was odd
but i'd say an awfully good start

I am going to try some B6 tonight and see how that goes

Type: Regular dream.
Lucidity: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Vividness: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Notes:
Last night, I wrote out my intentions to become lucid and end up on top of an airport building during the day, but instead I wound up on top of a city building at night. The lucid part didn't really turn out well either. But the "lines" in question were actually lines that I was planning on using in an upcoming MDP dream, further down the road. The words weren't exact, but they were pretty close to what I wanted to use. I guess that's proof that constantly thinking about something will have it end up in your dreams. This dream was cool because I told a DC some lines they would be saying as part of a story, as well as my own lines. Shortly after they said their first line, I forgot my own, but they reminded me what it was. And they were correct.

It was night, and I was kneeling up on top of a taller building with Robert Downey Jr..

The building was square-shaped on top, only about 10x10 feet, which probably wouldn't have been able to exist in real life. There was a taller building, the same shape, coming up against two adjacent sides of the building we were on, rising up past us by about least 10 feet. Past the building we were on, and the two beside us, were many other city structures that went off into the distance, creating a vast layout of buildings that looked incredibly realistic. I looked down.

On the ground was a long road going right past the front of our building, which branched off into a few smaller roads. Sidewalks lined both sides of this road, and right next to the sidewalks were more buildings, one of which had a half-circle shaped "deli" sign made from polished brown wood and basic yellow-painted text.

Since it was dark - the night sky was the deepest, darkest possible shade of blue in which you could still tell that it was actually blue - the whole city had a dark tone to it in terms of hues and shades. The street was lit by a few lights that didn't appear to be visible, and had a very warm, orange and pale red vibe, as if you were driving on that certain highway, one that's lit by street lights, at night. Our building had a paler, more bluish tone. The top of the building we were standing on was made of that tan or greyish asphalt stuff that was pressed down into a flat surface, which was fairly realistic.

So we were essentially sitting there. I was down on one knee with my arm resting on the other one, just surveying the area. Robert was sitting against one of the buildings right up against the one we were on.

"Come here," I told him, migrating to the edge of the building but still keeping a good few inches away from the edge. He quickly walked over and sat down next to me, the same distance as I was from the edge.

"Downey, I'll give you your lines now. First you're going to say, rather dejectedly, they're still not going to stop. Nothing's changed. Then I'll say, keep trying. They're tired and uncertain now."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Then, I can see that. I'll try again. My last line will be, I'll be waiting for you downstairs. Got it?

Again, he nodded his head and then got up, looking over onto the street. I too leaned over, still half-seated, and saw a few police cars parked half a block down the street, the red and yellow lights on the top of their cars flashing around and around.

Robert Downey Jr. shrugged and started to say the lines, slightly different but still very similar to what I'd told him to say. "They won't stop." A brief pause and, "nothing is different."

I turned to him to reply, opened my mouth, and totally blanked. I could remember my mind racing, trying to remember, but I couldn't. He then caught my eye and held his hand out in a gesturing motion. "Keep..." and looked at me expectantly.

"Keep trying, they're tired and uncertain now."

"Good. I can see that. I'll try again."

Then he started to turn around and walk away. My gaze followed him for an instant and then I looked back to the police cars.

I woke up.

I dreamt about waking up at 11:45 (and had to be at my work at 12:00) so I panicced around, trying to make someone take my shift, but couldn't. I couldn't get on the bus in time either.
Today I actually had to go to work at 12:00, but I woke up in time luckily :-)

Then later i dreamt about finding a maggot infested body in the woods. Not sure if it's a part of the other dream.
More detailed; I walked on a trampled path in a field of tall grass, showing a person where the body was. We moved some planks with nettles, and found a supposed old, rotten and dead woman with a coat on and a massive bulge on her back. Maggots, flies and leeches were crawling all over her. The person I showed her to, lifted her up and walked away with her.



Side notes: It seems that lately, I've been dreaming about stuff that could happen/go wrong the next day if I've been nervous about it.
Another example is that the day before my oral english exam, I dreamt that I went through alot of awkward trouble and turned up 15 minutes late for it. Very related to this. I should start doing reality checks every time something goes wrong (I'm clumsy).

been a loooong time since i last wrote in my dream journal, but i've been remembering my dreams a lot lately, so here it goes

first dream i remember was that i was still in school. kevin yun came over to my house with someone else and they were in my room. i remember kevin being super annoying, jumping on my bed and crap and blasting hella loud music, making me embarrassed to have them over. i then had to go to school but kevin was ditching and was staying at my house. i was just like ugh. then i remember facebooking it LOL saying "never letting kevin stay at my house again" and i got like thousands of likes and comments saying they never will either. i then woke up like it was a nightmare for some reason.

second dream, i was in bed with my supposed girlfriend. i went over to kiss her on the forehead, and then that turned into making out and foreplay. felt super real... lol. then all of a sudden i hear like police outside, and then im on the run trying to get away from the police as i take my girlfriend with me. we did twists and turns and went through secret doorways until we lost them. we eventually stopped at some crowd to blend in. i think we met some friends there. this felt like a recurring dream, because all of a sudden the police started lining up all the people they arrested and ordered them to go to this place to get shots. they said if you know your on the list you better go with them, so i went. but i never got the shot lol. i felt like i had had this dream before for some reason, but im not sure.

third dream i remember, was being in this weird enclosed hallway. whoah wait a sec, major dream recall just happened. there was this guy, who was very sad i think i remember.. he was at the cemetery. something like that, trying to solve the answer to how someone died. a girl sees him there and falls in love with him. then dream switches to me and him and alvin in the hallway. the guy accuses alvin of killing his friend. then as he's in the middle, and alvins at the end and im at the other end, i raise my gun at him and say "confess, you killed him." alvin raises his gun as well. he starts walking towards me and i shoot, he backs away, i say "don't move... CONFESS!" he starts moving towards me, i shoot again, he backs away. then, he starts moving again, i shoot, but he keeps walking like he doesnt die. eventually i run and he tries to stab me with a knife. i counter it and take the knife from him and stab him but he still doesnt die. the dream then switches from being dark and suspenseful to something like a video game. i then decide i just want to leave so i do. turns out we were in some park. i went inside their mall thing cause i was hungry, and then i remembered that i had a disneyland gift card for $20 that i left at home so i cursed myself. i was around looking for something to drink, but i realized i already had a jumbo dr.pepper in my hand. i met ian on the way. i remember seeing my brother complain to someone on the phone about what they wanted him to buy (strawberry pizza o_O). i passed chipotle and went into the tostito store or something like that, where they had a whole bunch of i forgot what it's called.. mexican eggroll things lol. all different kinds of flavors. i met ate there, and she said hans loved meatballs lol. then the dream switches to me back at home saying bye to alvin and shenel and kalvin.

I was at WL with some people. We were playing tag for some reason and I was searching for a place to hide. I found this candy shop. It was kind of like in a video game, where if you're not allowed to go into a certain place, it's like there's an invisible box around it that you can't go through. It was like that for me. I decided then that there was a piece of wood as the barrier in the doorway. I grabbed it and bent it so that I could go through. Then I was in the candy shop.

The candy was stored very high along the walls. I somehow climbed up, both to hide but also to grab some candy. Then MA was there, apparently "it", and trying to tag me. I kept climbing up and up and meanwhile stuffing candy into my bag for later.

I think eventually MA started climbing too, and I couldn't climb away fast enough. I think she ended up tagging me.

Then I was suddenly on some ride, or getting ready to go on one. There was a complicated pathway involving many stairs and sitting on an actual rollercoaster to get to it.

After that I was at a bus stop, but it was the one outside my old school on AN Street. I was trying to call AR because apparently she was still in WL and had my bag. The bag had all the candy I had taken and I was worried that someone was going to find out and I would be in trouble. I kept trying to call her on my old cellphone. I then tried texting her, but my screen kept cutting off words and was not showing anything properly. Then I woke up.

Non-lucid

My memory picks up whilst riding around town with one of my old friends cousins and he is not exactly a law abiding citizen. We drive around until we think that it would be a good idea to stop by a local gas station to pick up something to drink. We get to the gas station, and he goes inside while I stand outside next to the car. I am texting on my phone, casually looking up every now and then because I seen some pretty good looking ladies standing across the way at the gas station. There are about three of them, and the next thing I know two of the girls walk away and one of them walks toward me. She instantly sparks a conversation and leads me over to the entrance of the gas station. This is where I find out that the girls are not single, and they have about three guys with them. She purposefully led me into a trap.

I am standing in front of the gas station door now, with three other guys starring me down. They all look pretty pissed off and I begin to think that there is no other way to get out of this, other than to fight them. I throw the first punch and it makes its mark, while the two other guys jump on me and start throwing punches. Out of nowhere a person that I have not seen in years came from the back area of the gas station where the cars are supposed to be fueling, and he started in on the fight. At about that time, my old friends cousin came out of the gas station and noticed that a fight was going on so he decided to help as well. The guys were now losing pretty badly, and eventually all three of them where knocked out or laying on the ground in pain. I think about the police.

As soon as the fight is over, the friend I haven't seen in years runs up to me and I tell him that we need to get out of there now because the police will be here soon. My friends cousin jumps in the car and takes off, so we take to the back of the gas station and run through a field headed toward my old apartments. This field is very overgrown with various weeds and such, and I tell him it would be best to just make a mad dash through the middle of the field so the weeds will give us cover. We both begin to run, and we soon end up at my old grandpa's house some how. We run through the back door, and into the house, which is very dark and no one is home. I seem to know at this point that my grandpa no longer lives there. We run out of the front door, and my friend wants to go back into the house to lock the door for the home owners. I tell him that we do not have the time to do that, and I remind him that we need to keep running. He goes back anyway, locks the door, and exits the porch. Just as he jumps off of the porch, the owner drives down the street and sees him jumping off of his property.

He is driving a dark red vehicle, and it is a rather old car. It had apparently just finished raining outside, so the streets were wet and he instantly slammed on his breaks and spun out. He had his wife in the right seat, and he was in the drivers seat on the left side. You could hear him yelling out of his window after he seen us begin to run when he spun out. He instantly slammed the car into reverse and caught up with us down the road. I was on the right side of the street, and my friend was across the road from me. The man got out of his car, and he was fairly old. I see that he is brandishing a shotgun, and he is starting to shoot at my friend. We keep running hard until we get to the end of that road, and an intersection leads off to the right, left, and it also continues forward. To the left is a town, and to the right is country. My friend runs to the right, to avoid the shotgun bullets. I choose the forward path for whatever reason, and I am now being hit slightly by shotgun spray. Just in front of me, continuing forward, is a rather large church, and beyond that is a gravel road that leads to a bridge.

Since I was being hit by shotgun spray, I thought that it would be a good idea to pick up a large street sign, and cover my back with it whilst I was on the run. I do that, and I keep running toward the bridge. When I get to the bridge, the old man pulls up in his car just behind the start of the concrete that the bridge is made of and he gets out of his car. I try to keep my cool, and he holds the shotgun up to my body. He yells something that made sense then, but I cannot honestly remember exactly what it was. He then shoots the shotgun and misses, so I take my chance to grab the end of the shotgun with my left hand, and I point it away from me while I punch him in the face with my other hand. He ends up letting go of the shotgun, and I now have it under my control. I aim it at his lower half, and I fire the gun. It instantly blows off the entire lower portion of his body, and he is now crawling around screaming at me. I then proceed to shoot him in the face, and he is still not dead. Guts are hanging out of his mouth, and he is crawling toward the bridge and I casually think to myself "Good hide yourself" as I begin to worry about my finger prints on the gun.

I begin to wipe down the trigger area, and the barrel of the gun with my shirt. I know that this might not be too efficient, so I begin to look for some sort of gasoline to rub the gun down with. I find an old canister of gas just to the right of where the bridge starts in an oddly wooded area. I pick up the can and walk back to the bridge, where I see a helicopter flying very low to the ground just above where I shot at the old man. The pilot is in clear view, and I decide that I should shoot at him as well. I take three or so shots at him, and he begins to fly away into the distance. I then take my shirt off, and soak it with gasoline and then I rub down the gun in a hasty fashion, making sure to get all of the points where my fingers would have been touching the most. Just after I throw the gun off of the side of the bridge, I awake.