non-lucid

just so i dont forget, i went through a tunnel locally where the river goes under the road and it turned into this whole underground complex thing, a bit like the old open air swimming pool used to be like

18/10/2010

most of them were just party type dreams, where i was carrying these girls around but we were all really hammeed and kept falling over. these are the other memorable moments. went to see my cousin who was getting married. some of her blokes family had this weird condition like warts on their hands. i could feel my hands kind of vacuuming the feeling of the warts into them as i did this everyones hands cleared up. i said to everyone can you feel this and they were all nodding and i felt an amazing buzz.

later i went with my dad to see some guy who had a broken roof. for some reason he was not allowed to get it fixed so we were going to try and fight for him to have the right to fix it. as i waited there was a woman with a deli van and she was giving us free olives. kept on missing dream signs and the biggest one was a cracker. walking through a park in the snow and there were loads of king penguins. as if local penguins wasnt enough of a dream sign, then they all started to fly. of course i questioned this, yet the dc's were just doing there best to convince me that it was normal, or that they were different type of penguins and it was all fine

Good morning, everybody. I recall three dreams from "last night" -- although these dreams all come from about the last hour that I was in bed.

Dream #1

I was in "my house," which was a two-floor house. I was in a bedroom on the second floor of the house. The curtains were pulled back. Outside, the sky looked grey and cold.

I may have just moved into this house. I was kind of surprised that I had so much space. I'd never had this much space in my life. Still, the place wasn't huge. It was two floors, but it was rather narrow.

Nevertheless, as I walked down the stairs to the first floor, I thought that people would see a guy like me living in a place like this, and, getting jealous, they'd try to break into my place.

I tried to think of what I could do to prevent a break-in. I thought I would never use anything I owned while sitting near a window on the second floor. That way nobody would ever see that I actually owned anything.

I thought that the only thing I would do on the first floor would be to watch TV, even though I thought that would be dangerous, too. But I figured that everybody owned a TV. So why would anybody want mine, too?

I considered what I would watch on TV. I wondered if I had cable TV. I hadn't owned a TV in quite some tiime. Maybe everybody got cable TV nowadays. Or maybe, I thought, this place was like a hotel. And all hotels had cable TV. I may have considered watching some porn.

Dream #2

I was in a living room of an apartment with a group of friends, none of whom I recognize. The friends were all young, pretty cool. The living room was a little dim, as if it were lit only from a light in the hallway, around a corner.

I sat on the floor before a coffee table that was set against the wall. A stereo stood on the coffee table. Cluttered before the stereo were huge binders full of lists of karaoke songs.

I had one book open and was flipping through the pages, trying to find a particular song. But the book was full of pictures instead of titles. Each page may have had two or three CD-sized pictures on each side. One picture I remember of a person (man?) standing over a dark landscape under a purple sky.

There were so few pictures per page and so few pages in this book, that I thought the chances were slim of my song being in this book. And I couldn't figure out how the songs were arranged: not in alphabetical order, but in some kind of picture order -- if they were, in fact, in any order at all.

I concluded that my song wasn't in this particular book. Somebody may have taken the book from me. I shuffled through some of the other books. I may now not even have been able to remember what song I wanted to sing.

The covers of the binders were all really awesome. They had all kinds of flaming designs of people,guitars, and monsters. Each binder held song lists for a specific genre of music, and the picture on the front represented the genre. Sometimes the picture actually had the name of the genre written above it in fancy lettering.

I finally chose a certain binder, figuring this was the genre of music I wanted to sing, so that the song I'd been looking for all along would probably be in this binder.

Dream #3

I was at "my house," an apartment on the upper floor of a big building. The apartment probably had a living room and two or three bedrooms.

The apartment was busy with a few other people, probably all older than me, some of them somewhat older. There weren't a lot of people in the apartment, but the craziness of their actions made it feel like the place was stuffed with people. The living room was bright, frenetic, and totally messy.

The apartment was all mine, but the people who were here right now were trying to move in and stay here. For some reason, I really wasn't doing much about it.

Just off from the living room was a small, bright hallway. At the end of the hallway was a little niche, in which was set a white, wood chest of drawers. The chest was a little more than a meter tall, and maybe 2/3 of a meter wide.

Some old, short, fat, white man with a balding head, scraggly, grey hair, and a loose, stubbly face, had one of the drawers open and was crowding me away from it. I was fighting the man, trying to get him out of my stuff. This was my chest, and the man had no right messing around with it.

But the man kept shoving me off. He was pouring stuff into the top drawer from out of a garbage bag. The old man himself may have been wearing a weird outfit that looked like a mix between a potato sack, long underwear, a mattress, and a garbage bag.

I looked into the drawer. It looked like there were a bunch of small, empty,glass vials inside. It looked like vials that had once held drugs. I got really mad. Was this guy pouring garbage bags full of drugs and drug paraphernalia all over my house?

Decent night. Working on building my recall and discipline back up.

The Girl Moves Out
1122: A very emotionally charged and memorable non-lucid. I live in the Daisetta house. My roommate is S, a former coworker girl from real life, with whom I had a very brief and destructive romantic relationship. That experience was about a year ago and we've never spoken since. So in the dream, she lives in my house. Her room is next to mine. It's nighttime. I walk into her room. She is watching TV. There are a a few piles of laundry waiting to be folded. On top of the clothing, a couple of cats are hanging out too. I sit and watch TV with her for a while. Her and I seem to quietly accept each other's company. She doesn't freak out or act upset like I am afraid she will. We are actually having a good time hanging out together.

Then she leaves the room, I expect her to be right back. Maybe she went to the bathroom or to the kitchen. But time fast-forwards an hour or so and she hasn't returned. I walk out of the room and around the house looking for her. I run in to a strange man who startles me. I ask: "What are you doing here?!" He replies: "I'm one of the movers." Oh. I realize that S is moving all her stuff out. I walk out and find her in the backyard. We have this exchange:

Me: What's going on?
S: I'm moving out.
Me: But I thought things between us were just starting to be okay again.
S: (shakes her head)
Me: So you're really leaving? You know I'm sorry....

She walks away and back to her room. I stand still for a moment. I am crushed. But at the same time I realize this was inevitable. I probably deserve it. I follow her back to her room. She is packing up things. I start to help her. We have this quiet moment where I sense we are both sad but also realize this is for the best. Soon, she's ready to go. I walk with her to the front door. At the last moment, she turns to me, looks me in the eyes and asks: "Why?" I know what she means. All I can say is: "I don't know. I guess... I just really really really liked you. Too much, I suppose."

She gives me an understanding smile. She lets me kiss her on the cheek. We have one of those I-can't-believe-this-is-really-goodbye-forever moments. Then she turns and walks out to the street where a taxi is waiting. I close the door and reflect on what happened.

Then I think I wake up for real. But my mind is still really wrapped up in the dream, so I continue in a daydream, which seems obvious because of how the plot changes from something natural to something artificial and movie-like. I'm still standing just inside the front door, reflecting on all that is happened. I miss her. I don't want her to go. But I also feel guilty and ashamed. Then I hear the door bell ring. I open the door and there is S. Her face is full of anticipation, like she's about to burst. She says "I really really really like you too!" And she kisses me passionately. End. I suppose that's how I'd like it to end, but it didn't seem satisfying. It didn't seem genuine.

fragment
School field trip to a secluded private park. Trying to watch birds mating. Most people are off playing football. I ask if they are playing a real game but they are just tossing the ball around like 3-flags up. I join and throw a few times. My throw is really weak.

Umm... Yeah... I think I'm dreaming
Method DILD (absurdity)
1237: I'm coming home from work. I'm walking along a bike path. I stop at a public restroom. I walk up to a urinal. I look down and I have two penises, one lined up above the other. Oh, I really must be dreaming. I nose-pinch and I can breath. But I wake up immediately.

Dysfunctional TV Family
1346: Watching TV show on VHS tapes, on the big screen TV from the Daisetta house. The show is about a family with 2 daughters and a son. I think the parent is a single mom. The oldest daughter just finished high school. She had to take summer school classes to finish. The son drinks. The youngest daughter is a bratty and rebellious teen. In one scene, I sense I am in the car with the mom. We are in a grocery store parking lot. She backs out and then goes in reverse all the way out to the street. So we're driving down the street in reverse. Then she brakes and turns hard. The car starts to skid around and ends up going straight forward on the street. But it's a one lane street in both directions and we narrowly miss hitting an oncoming car.

Now I'm back in the house, watching the show again on TV. I am worried that it's getting late and I need to leave soon. I look and see several clocks. On on the TV, one on the VCR, and a couple other alarm clocks on top of the TV. They all show different times. I don't know which one to believe. So I leave the room to find a clock I can trust. End.

Ive seen posts about dream designs matching people theyve seen. My"Zeus design", as ive come to find as the meanings of these symbols we randomly see are from when zeus split the human heart claiming it was too powerful. so i guess id be saying, i think my soul mate has the same symbol as a tattoo on her wrist. anyone with more insight, please help?

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm at the camp I went to as a kid [Not the one mentioned in the catchup post below, another one] with my dad. The lodge is a Marie Callender's [Cool!], and we're going out to dinner there. We get a table and order coffee and cookies. Mom is already there and tells us to come over and join her at her table. She's mad at us for not seeing her when we came in, or looking for her in the crowd. Dad and I get up and move to her table, bringing our coffee and cookies with us.

While we're in the restaurant [I think], I start looking back at old pictures of myself on various camping trips. One of them is of my and several of my Literacy AmeriCorps friends, including Laya, Jen, and Chelisa. The oldest picture is from junior high school. It's a big, panoramic picture with lots and lots of kids and their camp counselors in it. I'm near the far right, next to Erica. [She didn't even go to my junior high.] Those of us who are on that side of the picture are standing near the grassy edge of a cliff; one of the boys on in the picture is pretending to be about to step off.

I wake up in my current bed. I try several times to turn on the lamp next to it, but the bulb just flickers and sputters every time I try. I turn the knob until the flickering stops, tighten the bulb in its socket, then try again. Still nothing. I go out into the hall to look at the digital clock on one of our cable boxes, to see what time it is. It says 7:39, which disappoints me. Aw, man! It's time to get up, I think. Then I look again and see that I made a mistake: it's only 2:39. So, I get my notepad and start taking notes on the dream I just had.

...And then I woke up for real. This time, I remembered to do the nose-pinch RC. I was very annoyed with myself for not doing any RCs before and not catching the FA, especially when I realized that I had missed not one, but two of the classic dream signs, one right after another. My mind is great at giving me clues that I'm dreaming; I'm just oblivious.

After that, it seems to take me a really long time to get back to sleep. While I'm trying to do so, I think, Oh, crap, I can't talk to Cj on the phone tomorrow at 9, because that's when I'm meeting with Frank. I get up, take my laptop into the study, and sleepily start writing her an e-mail explaining that we'll have to postpone our date to talk on the phone because I have a conflicting appointment. I'm working in Yahoo! Mail [which is what I use for my main e-mail account in reality], and press Send. Suddenly, annoying, circus-y music starts to play out of the computer's speakers, and the screen is filled with a weird, old, basic HTML page with a colored background. The page appears to scroll down automatically. One of the first things to appear on it is a single sentence of text that contains my name. This is what makes me realize what's going on: I've stupidly allowed my Yahoo password to get phished by entering it into a fake website, and now my laptop has a virus. I let out a long string of curse words (actually, the same curse word repeated many times). Windows starts scanning my computer, trying to fight the virus.

Mom and P. are coming home. According to the digital clocks on the cable boxes, it's 12:02 A.M. Leaving my laptop on the floor of the study, I go outside to the street to meet them. They're coming home in a red VW New Beetle (where did they get that? I wonder silently), which they're parking on the curb across the street from our house, because our two regular cars [the ones we own in reality] are taking up both spaces in the garage. I come over to greet them as they're getting out of the car. As we walk back toward the house, I look at the side yard and see that there's a bamboo tree that sort of looks like a fountain there. Ooh, that's pretty! I think. P. goes back to put some more CDs in the New Beetle. [Neither it nor the bamboo tree exist in reality, of course, but I didn't realize that anything was strange until after I woke up. :/ ]

I woke up for real at 5:00 and took down more notes. I realized in hindsight that it hadn't actually taken me as long to fall asleep as I had thought; at least part of the process, and everything after that, had been a dream. I didn't actually have any such appointment with Cj, anyway. I was amazed at how completely and totally this dream had convinced me that I was in reality.

I'm indoors somewhere, and I'm wearing a cowboy hat. I look behind me and see my friend D.W. there, riding in a wheelchair. I think, Oh, good, she got a wheelchair. I feel the cowboy hat on my head and think, Oh, yeah, this is a dream. I can feel the by-now-familiar sensation of lucid-dream consciousness. I open my dream self's eyes and look very briefly at my hands, which appear normal, then up at my indoor surroundings. To engage more fully with my dream self and its sense of touch, I reach up to touch the brim of the cowboy hat with both hands, then take it off. I'm sitting in something [possibly another wheelchair, but I don't see it, so I'm not sure]. I stand up and try to turn around and talk to D.W., but just then, I heard my mom talking out in the entryway, which took my attention away from the dream, which instantaneously kicked me back into reality.

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Side notes:
I should choose my MILD affirmations with more care. The ones I focused on the most this past night were “I am self-aware and in control in my dreams” and “I bring clarity, lucidity, and stability into my dreams.” These backfired rather spectacularly in my second dream of the night. It was perfectly clear and stable, and, as far as I could tell, I was just as self-aware and in control of my own actions as I am in reality. And yet, I never realized that I was dreaming. I focused on that aspect more as I was trying to get back to sleep after 5:00, and it worked, if only briefly.

Awake, Non-lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[These are all my dreams from the past week or so that I hadn't gotten around to typing up and/or posting to this DJ, until now. Most of them are pretty fragmentary because I wrote about them from notes long after the fact. None of them were lucid. My most recent dream, from last night, will be in a separate post, because it's longer.]

Night of November 10-11

I take a lengthy tour of a camp I've been to several times, answering questions asked by people who have never been there before. We're all there for our organization's annual fall conference. There are two cabins up high on a ridge, and a big meeting/dining hall on the low ground, right near the entrance. [I knew it was that camp while I was in the dream, even though it has a completely different layout in reality. This was a pretty long dream, but I can't remember any more details now.]

I'm with Ariel from the Disney version of The Little Mermaid. We're finding our way through a Little Mermaid-themed maze. It's one of several mazes at Walt Disney World.

Night of November 11-12

Mom, P., and I are out to dinner at a restaurant with an outdoor patio. P. asks me if I got any gumbo the last time we were there. I answer that no, Dad ate it all.

I see a two-year-old girl on the street. I walk with her back to my grandparents' house. The front door of the house has two separate sections that can open and close independently of each other. We get into the house by opening the top section of the door first. When we get inside, we discover that my grandparents have a new, upright, Scrabble-like electronic board game in their house. It involves a countdown timer.

Night of November 12-13

I'm in my current house, and I listen to a voice mail from a publishing company. I return their call and talk to them. We try to organize a live interview in 30 minutes' time. They're even willing to give me directions to their office over the phone. We don't schedule the interview for 30 minutes from now, though, because that's not enough time for me to shower and get dressed. They put me on hold for a bit. When they come back, we agree on next week instead. They expect me to bring a completed, polished novel manuscript with me to the interview so we can talk about it, and I don't have one, so I think, Okay. I only have one week to finish one of my novels. My hair is long and in a French braid, and I decide to leave it that way and not wash it before the interview.

I'm with my friend Jane R. She's trying on a cute dress made out of a towel-like, terry-cloth material, and I'm helping her adjust it.

I'm watching an episode of “Rugrats” in which one of the babies helps teach another how to use the potty, and they are found by one of their moms.

When I woke up, I went, Oh. I guess I don't have to have one of my novels finished by next week. Although that would be nice. I think I had that dream about the interview because I was worrying about how I was going to balance writing, studying, and job-hunting just as I was going to sleep.

Night of November 14-15

A Christian band sings a song about their dying dog.

I'm watching the pilot episode of a superhero TV show. The show will have a superhero team consisting of 5 boys and 3 girls. I will be one of the girls on the team. I know this from watching the show's opening.

Night of November 15-16

I'm at a church camp, standing outside the little trailer where the leader of the camp is staying. His wife is sitting on a chair outside the trailer. She tells me that I can't talk to him right now because he's sleeping.

I'm getting ready to leave the camp. I'm in the process of moving my stuff out of the space in and around a twin bed in a cabin, but I'm not done yet. I come back into the cabin to continue packing, and there's another girl already lying in my bed. I tell her that I was using the space, but I'm vacating it and she can have it now, but she has my permission to play with my teddy bears. Three of my teddy bears are lying on the end of the bed [I own all of them in real life]. She answers that no, she'll take the responsibility for cleaning the place up.

A third girl who is also in the room asks me, “Can I at least do your makeup?” I look at my face in the mirror next to the bed and see that it has red blotches on it, and several large zits, including two on the left side of my jawline. I agree to let the girl do my makeup, and we go over to another wall of the room, where there is a dresser with various cosmetics on it. I see that one of the bottles of makeup is labeled inception, and I think, Oh, cool. I didn't know that was the brand name of the makeup I used. [*facepalm* Oh, dear. That really should have clued me in that I was dreaming.] I reach for this bottle, but the girl who offered to do my makeup chastises me, snapping at me to spray myself first with an alcohol-based antibacterial cleanser that comes in a pale teal bottle. I do so, wiping it over my face with a cotton ball.

So I'm at an office with J and we're filling out some paperwork to get discounted wine. The package comes with 20 bottles, but the bottles themselves are really small. So I back out of it, and just wait on him to finish. I forgot what the total came to, but I helped him out on it, and when we were leaving, there was a lot of people there all of a sudden. We started heading out, and there were four different exits. J was nowhere in site, so I just headed off to the door on my left.

Exiting out of the building, I was holding the door open for a woman, but she went in through the employees entrance, so I kept holding it for the group behind her. Some guy decided to say something smart about the clothes I was wearing. I think he got all arrogant because he was with a group of at least 6 people. I told him outright, "man, F you". He turned around, and got in my face.

He came up to me and asked me what I said, like he didn't hear it again, and I repeated myself. Then I told him "this is going to be really stupid to get in a fight over some clothes". Right then two of his home boys came up, and I started backing off so I wouldn't get surrounded. He threw the first punch, and I dodged it. Punched him in the face, and he took it really well. Like one of those strong DC types. I punched him in the face again, and he started talking junk.

Just right then, I ducked, dodging one of the other guys punches. I headed back to the first guy and punched him in the stomach several times and discovered thats where he's weak at. Then I turned my attention to the third guy, let off a combo, and ran off a bit. When I turned around, I noticed the first guy was bent over; still trying to recover from the attack.

I was at the bottom of this hill that lead to a side walk, so I decided to run back up and throw the guy down the hill. He landed right on the sidewalk, and that was pretty much it for him. I kept fighting the other two DC's while yelling out for J's help, but he never show'd up. So I kept trying to take the fight closer and closer to where he parked at while owning these guys until the dream faded.

Mexican Excursion
Non-lucid

I'm driving on what I recognize in the dream to be I-69 S, a highway I used to take to get to my girlfriend's old house. I miss a major dreamsign here, because I know for a fact that I69 doesn't go south, it only goes north of my house. Anyway, I'm driving down the highway, and see the sign for the Mexican border. Oddly enough there are no checkpoints, tollbooths or anything, just a sign. I decide 'What the heck, I'll go on a little adventure, I'm not doing anything today. So I head on into Mexico. For some reason I'm driving on a bridge over a forest now, I look down and see thousands of trees as far as the eye could see. I'm distracted by something and I drive off the bridge. I guess I got knocked out, when I came to, my car was no where in sight. I call my mom, and say 'Guess what?' She apparently knew I was driving near the Mexican border, because she says 'You didn't decide to go to mexico just because you were driving so close did you?' I laugh and tell her I did, only I accidentally drove off the bridge. She sighs and we hang up. I start searching for my car, still chuckling to myself about how she knew what I did. There is a large, slow moving river with several logs laying across it. I cross the river, and start searching in the direction of the US. I climb a hill, and find a man at the top. The man doesn't speak much English, but he speaks more than I speak Spanish. He asks me if I have lost my car (ROFL). I tell him I have, and ask him to help me find it. He agrees and starts asking me questions about the car in English. I answer him in Spanish. (I managed a fast food restaurant for a year or so, and picked up a bit of Spanish from my cooks)

Jump

We are now in the sewers. It's not stinky as you might imagine, but it's dark, damp, and a little chilly. I am not looking for my car anymore, I am looking for a little girl. He thinks she might be in here, so we continue searching. We find a child's doll on the ground, in a spot of light shining down through from the surface. We turn down that corridor, and reach a small room. (Like the sewer rooms from Oblivion) He turns around and pulls out a pistol. He speaks perfect English now, and tells me his story. Of course I don't remember the story lol. He is pointing a pistol at me the whole time, and the little girl is behind him. After he finishes his story, I take his pistol, point it at him, and with the girl, start backing out of the room. After we get out, we turn around and start running. The man's younger associate comes runnning after us with a Kriss smg (I had read an article about them the night before) He catches us and we are now in a tiny cage, barely enough room for us both. He holds up the cage, and suddenly I've got long, slender, razor sharp teeth. I decide I feel like an animal in this cage, so I bite his fingers. I imagine how painful that would be, having my long teeth tear into his flesh. Ouch. He lets go of the cage, and catches it with his other hand. Then he stupidly holds it by the bars again, so I give him another chomp.
I wake up.
I now notice that not once in the dream did I see the little girl. Also the man who I met in the forest looked like Mr. Panucci from Futurama. LOL

My dream recall really improved tonight, I had a lot of dreams, but I really remember a lot of fragments rather than these long and drawn out scenarios. I know that looking back it's actually very hard for me to distinguish some of my dreams from reality because they are mostly mundane and I have the PassObs state so pervasive in my dreams.

Dream 1-- HellBoy Reloaded

This movie has nothing to do with Hellboy, except that it has the main actress from the movie. I am PassObs in this dream, watching the movie as it unfolds before me. It feels like I'm caught in the trailer because she is narrating the whole time as I am observing, and there is a lot of mental commentary going on in the background of my mind.

So, the dream starts with her talking about herself and how she was a confused girl or something looking for love. Then I see a scene where she is inside of a giant cake that is being pushed down the hall. She has a similar costume as if she were in the movie Hellboy, thus the title. She says she is looking for love, and that her whole life turned around after this one event.

The cake gets pushed into a restaurant. And it's directly in the middle. Suddenly there are 5 guys, who I recognize as all competing for her love, that burst out in a murdering spree everyone in the restaurant. There are three guys who I basically discard and don't pay attention to. There is one guy with red hair, who I can't think of at the moment, and the last one is Wolverine! haha.

So I see Wolverine kill people, and then he takes this one guy out of the room by his claws. This whole time I'm thinking "how does she gets these men to like her?" "Maybe she just displays her real personality and whether or not they like her doesn't actually affect her because she has so many people who like her".. It's a really intricate thought process that I'm not doing justice to here, but I felt sad and depressed while thinking the thoughts. I was looking at the movie as a type of archetype for how to act, and I had this mental cycle that basically went "I'm not good enough, how do I get better?, the movie knows the answer so watch the movie and learn the right way."

Anyway, I follow Wolverine out into where he dragged the guy, and suddenly I'm in my cabana back in Dallas. I can't say for sure what happened after this because I had another dream at 5am that really scares me and might be a true account about what I did, but I am not for sure because I can only remember what I said happened.

Dream 2-- 5am continuation of dream 1

So, in this dream, everything repeats just like dream 1. When I follow Wolverine out I become aware that I am part of an assassination squad, and our group name is on this serving tray that looks exactly like what they would bring you for an order or room service. Once again, I am in my cabana.

I look around, and I am in this rectangular room, which doesn't actually resemble my cabana at all except the ground is carpetted a light blue and the doors are white. The tray disappears as I look back, and it is replaced by three of my high school friends: Stewart, AK, and a third person. I immediately announce to them that this is a dream and that I had just experienced this situation earlier, but I don't become lucid.

I explain to them in detail exactly what had happened, or at least what I remember. I cannot be sure if in this dream I am giving a true account of what happened in the original dream, but I seem pretty damn convinced, and everything I was describing was accurate.

So, I tell this is a dream, and I show them what I did. I walk over to a door, and I say, "I opened this door, and there's a bed and a TV, and I watched the TV from the bed." I open the door, and it initially it doesn't seem like there is a bed inside but I can see the TV. It doesn't matter, I don't look long enough to care. I walk over to another door and say and here is the exit. As I am walking over I can see the look on their faces is really freaked out/surprised. Both of their eyes are like in a way that is really exaggerated. I can't believe I didin't lucid this!! That's the end.

Dream 3-- Airport Group Bathroom

Some of my dreams that I have now-a-days seem to give me memories of dreams I've had in the past but WHILE I'M STILL IN THE DREAM. It's very weird. When I wake up I cannot remember having any dream like it, but in my dream mind I am sure of my location, and it all seems very familiar. In fact, I have memories of how the other dreams went, but they only last as long as my dream.

In this dream, I am carrying a blue tub, which is a debate term for one of the 10 gallon plastic containers that carry everything. I am walking through an airport, and I think that is my luggage. I know I need to take a shower before I board because I don't want to be gross for the flight. I walk over to this huge gray table where there is a security guard sitting down. He is black.

I put down my tub on the table, and I open it a little maybe to see what's inside but change my mind because he calls me over. He asks from my student ID, I give him my college student ID, and then I walk over to bathroom. I don't remember walking through any door, but I appear in the bathroom at the back right hand corner. I am only wearing a towel at this point. This is a huge square room where there are lines of sinks along the wall, and people sitting in stools near each sink. At the opposite corner (front left) I see a door that is slightly open and appears to be a shower. Where I am seems to be some sort of sauna.

I walk around looking for an empty spot, but I'm not saying anything. I think I'm in PassObs at this point because the scenery is so still and I'm not interacting at all. I find an empty sink and put down a white book I had in my hands apparently. As I sit, I get tapped on the shoulder. It's a black woman wearing what looks like blue scrubs as if she were a nurse.

She says something but I can't hear her because I have my right earbud in randomly. I take it out and do a sort of curt "what?" and she asks me a question I can't remember and I say "no." she proceeds to tell me that I am very rude and that I need to watch the way I speak. This comment makes me really self-conscious and ends the dream because I go into a PassObs state and everything begins to turn black. I think about how my comment really was rude and how I might actually be a rude person without realizing it and that I don't want to be rude in the future.

Dream Fragment 4-- Spider vs. Cat

This dream was a drawn out battle between what seemed like two comic super hero characters that were going to kill each other. Once again, I was passive observer in this dream, watching the scene as if it were a movie and all I could do was watch and think. We are in this darkened room, and I see the SpiderGuy (who is white with black hair, long sideburns, and I can't remember clothing) getting his head hit against a wall. As his head smashes against the wall, he looks to the right, which is looking directly at me. Suddenly, he morphs into a spider, and he crawls around trying to escape.

Because it's night, he is very sneaky and goes underneath a bed that I am on. The opponent, who I never see, starts to wait. After a little bit of no action, the spider crawls along the side of a wall at a fast speed toward the door at the other end of this darkened room. I see the opponent now, in the form of a cat, jump up and try to get him. Freaked out, the spider crawls all the way back underneath the bed, and we wait again.

We wait for a long time, maybe 2 minutes, and then these thoughts enter my head like, he's decided never to come out, what a brilliant strategy. And because thoughts determine reality, I stop thinking about the fight altogether, and just pay attention to this cat that is now sitting near the foot of this bed I am on. The cat, which is orange and white, starts to move toward me a little after I bring my attention to it.

It doesn't reach me though, it turns and climbs into what looks like a crib. There is a black cat that hops in from out of my vision. I assume that these cats know eachother because they start to snuggle. I observe how they interact with each other and try to determine what their relationship is like based on their behavior and what signals they are trying to send to each other. This is my classic PassObs state, where I am just watching an event and being purely analytical about it. I am having these thoughts like "oh, the orange cat is moving away slightly agitated so it doesn't like the black cat that much. The black cat is really needy for attention and affection, but the orange cat doesn't want to give it to him. I wonder if the orange cat knows and is just too cool or what"

Stuff like that. Whenever I go deep into PassObs, I end up either switching dream scenes completely because my environment turns all black and I lose focus on any particular sight because I am caught up in my thoughts or I wake up.

Dream 5-- High School Picnic

This dream starts off in a really nice house. I am with my friend, Will, from high school and apparently his dad and some other people. We all walk into this room that looks like a classroom, but seems to be part of the mansion as well. Everyone sits down on top of a desk because there are no chairs in this room. Some people have some bud that they are smoking and I don't have any so I start looking for some.

Somehow I know that underneath these desks there are drawers that I and pull out. I try a couple and there is nothing in them. I walk over to a separate isle of desks and try again. I find what looks like purely a rolling paper, but as I pull it out I hear a dad say "oh look he got one" so I decide to light it. I have to squish it together and roll it with my fingers for it to remain taut and not fall apart. As I am smoking it I get the feeling like I am actually getting high. My vision starts to blur a little and I completely relax into the situation. My analytical mind goes blank and I just start walking along. I end up walking outside where there are a bunch of other high school friends having a picnic.

They are sitting on these wooden tables that have pizza and chips on them. I see Gefen, and Doug, and David C., and Sean. All of these people I have seen smoke bud at one point or another, so the connection here is clear. As I am walking around, I am trying to have conversations with some of them, but I get in my head and analytical about what we are talking about, which makes me want to move on and do something else because the analytical aspect makes me really uncomfortable and uneasy. I can't talk to anybody without my mind firing a million thoughts per second, so I just wander around high for a while. I never finish my blunt, but I continue to smoke it throughout the dream.

False Awakening 1-- Talking to Daniel

So I am flying to Boston on Thursday, so I wanted to call my friend over at BU to hang out and chill. I did this during a False Awakening and our conversation was like Me: "hey man, I'm coming into town this weekend" "oh nice man.. (something about his roommate)" "I'll be there Thursday Friday Saturday wan to chill" "(says something nonresponsive)" (SILENCE) in my head I go PassObs thinking about whether I should say "are you free?" or just drop the conversation and take his non-committal response as a no. Then I start thinking about all the cool stuff he must be doing in BU and how he just chills until someone asks him to do something and then goes with the flow that way. WOW I get up in my head!!

False Awakening 2-- Comments from Matthew

Yesterday I had a 30 minute conversation with my TA in Writing class about how to do this upcoming project. He talked to me a lot about my analytical mind and how I like to tackle the larger, meta issues of a subject, which sometimes forces me away from the more pragmatic and applicable problems that the prompt is trying to point to. These comments started me thinking about how that applies to my life in everyday situations and how I could change that behavior or what I would need to do in order for that behavior to change.

In my dream, I am writing down geometrical shapes and words on graph paper while listening to a distant voice that sounds exactly like Matthew. He is telling me in my dream that I am too critical and that I need to settle down and relax. I am sorting through the paper trying to find where I put these comments. He is explaining that I already know everything I just need to organize the thoughts and make them cogent instead of muddling the issue and trying to make it more complex. I think I am awake this whole time because I am in my dorm room and everything seems normal.

After enough of these comments, I go into PassObs of self-criticism about my behavior and my ability to learn things and write essays, which causes the dream scene to go black and I wake up.

Dream 6-- Arguments with Friends about Gender

So I am in a separate darkened room with two people that I think I know. They seem to be related because they are lying in the same bed, while I am in my own chair, which I think is a bean bag chair. At first, I am facing them and we are talking about the difference between guys and girls. We are talking about it from the parent's point of view and which would be harder to raise and why.

I don't know what we were saying specifically, but out of synchronicity, the TV turns on, and I swivel around somehow in my bean bag chair. The TV character looks like Jon Stewart and he is explaining how for guys the cost of being raised is like $2 because we don't need anything. For girls it's like $50,000 because they need tampons, bras, and all of these other materials. After the show is over I turn around and we all start laughing.

Dream Fragment 7-- Nurse Mom

I am laying in the bed I sleep in whenever I go to my grandparent's house. Instead of being normal, my legs are hanging off the side and I am lying on some pillows, with my face turned to the side looking at a TV screen with some medicial show playing. I feel sick, and I transition from being inside my body to going PassObs and being a part of the show through the camera. Next, my mom walks into the room with some soup. This dream occurred chronologically after I had the dream where I smoked the blunt, so I was really worried that she would notice the smell of bud. This is an example where I have memories of previous dreams inside of my dream.

She comes over and pats me on the back in a comforting way. I start to get really paranoid and freaked out that she knows, which forces me into PassObs mode and then out of the dream!! Grr!

Dream Fragment 8-- Talking to a DC

This isn't lucid, but I'm in my dorm room talking to a DC. He is explaining to me his experiences with LD and how it helped him in his life. He explains to me how he used to be depressed and lacking in creativity. Then he found the world of LD and he never wanted to leave. It allowed him to fully explore his imagination and take a leap into another world. I suddenly get this vibrant thought of me flying over a city and just racing through the wind. There is a great breeze going through my hair, but the scene is amazing and awesome, and now I am super motivated to fly in a LD!


Overall, my dream recall really improved tonight, but I also think that I was not getting very deep sleep. I was tossing and turning a lot which I think kept my consciousness level higher than normal, but also affected my rest. I didnt hear my WILD alarm go off at 5am, but I still had many FAs which is a sign that my WILDing techniques are getting better. I feel like I am having more and more obvious chances to DILD, which is really encouraging. I am focusing more on RCing during the day and making them serious RCs. I will take deep breaths and start looking around and feeling my clothes in order to get a mixture of sense perceptions. I tell myself throughout the day "When I am dreaming, I will look at my hands and recognize the dream state." I'm really motivated on this WILD journey, and I think that with a little more practice I will start having these WILDs and DILDs tonight! I can see it happening, there is just that little extra step of realizing shit is weird in the dream. I will have to start paying more attention to my reality so that I can say "hey this is a little weird, I'm going to RC" just to ingrain the habit.

For a while I had these dreams that I was either in a relationship with or just friends with this man. I know who the guy is but I've never met him before, heck i've never even had a conversation with him before! But he keeps coming into my dreams!

Last night i dreamed he was sitting with one of my old friends outside my house and my old friend asked him about his boyfriend (which was weird because he isn't gay) and he didn't acknowledge me at all. I woke up from that dream only to dream about him agian! And this time he was my best friend! I was such a good friend with him that I remember just walking into his "house" and his mom just being like "Come on in!" and we just hung out for what seemed like hours! I remember being so happy just hanging out with guy. And everytime it's the same. I dream about him and I just feel so incredibly happy that when I wake up I just get sad!

What could this mean?

Cruise Ship
Non-lucid

This one is from several nights ago, I just hadn't posted it online. It was pretty strange, and confusing even just after I woke, not to mention nearly a week later... But here we go anyway
We are in some sort of fancy cruise ship. There is red carpeting with gold trim in all the corridors. The walls are stained cherry, and there are gold/brass fancy light fixtures protruding from the walls at regular intervals. To my right is a super old telephone, it's hooked up to a pc so that guests can make calls on the old phone, and still get the experience, even though the technology is outdated. I get the sense that I and several others have been transported through time and find ourselves on this ship.[/INDENT]
Everything gets very vague after this point.
I've got a sense of being forward in time, seeing problems in the world. Friends are dead. Relationships are ruined. We return home and fix the problems that I saw in the future. As a final act, I must go into an abandoned movie theater. I'm trapped in here, but can communicate with the outside world. There is an old man on the outside with a map of the realm I'm trapped in. He sits staring at it, while on the inside, I'm trying to find a way out. After a while, he figures out that it somehow relates to chess, he circles a few spaces on his map with a sharpie, and I play a game of chess with an unknown force, and escape. Hurray!

-----

Weird Movie
Non-lucid

I seem to be watching a movie. I'm not participating at all in this dream.
The dream begins with very cintematic camera angles. It shows the stomach of a woman. Then a hip with a thong being tied around it. Lips with lipstick being applied. Eyes with Eye shadow being applied. Camera zooms out to reveal it was all done by a 14-15 year old girl. I get the sense that this is a whorehouse in Britain. A 20ish boy knocks on the door, and is answered by an overly made-up woman of 45. She tells him that the girl is not ready yet because he's too early, and tells him that he knows that. In effort to keep his business, she calls another girl to come in and 'keep him busy' until the young girl from the beginning is ready.
A 20ish girl enters the room, and begs the older woman 'Nooo, please nooo!' etc. Girl and boy go into a side room. Boy appologizes for what he said to her last time. I get the feeling that it was very terrible for her. She says 'I thought you went back home.'
The boy replies 'I did but when I saw the British space shuttle on the news, I had to come back.'
I wake up. Lol that was wierd.
I reach for my dream journal to enter my dreams. I am still in bed, with the notebook on my lap, pen in my fingers trying to recall my dreams.
I wake up again... Wow, my first FA.
It's funny though, when I wake up for real I can still feel the lasting feeling of the pen between my fingers. I RC to be sure, and sure enough, I'm really awake. Oh well.

i always wake up and fall back to sleep in the mornings(when i have time to sleep) so i become lucid through WBTB and DILDs

red = lucid


dream starts with demons and other creatures chasing me through a series of tunnels. im running away with 2 other guys. the 2 guys are farther than me so as we run they close the doors behind them leaving me behind. i have to yell for them to open the door and they do eventually. this happens twice and then we run into a room with 3 closed doors. we open the 2 doors on each side of the room and find demons on the other end so they run for the last door but there are demons there as well. the 2 guys get grabbed so i close the door and try to thing of what to do. i start to remember that this has happened before and there must be a way out. thats when i remember its a dream. i know that i have to get rid of the demons before they grab me so i dont wake up. i open a side door and see demons coming towards me. i try a verbal command for them to disappear but they keep coming. they are right in front of me so i close my eyes(and can still hear them) and think of what i want to see. i open my eyes to the sound of silence. i turn the corner of the dungeon hall and i see a bright light. the light dims down and i see that i am in a glass tube(like in bioshock), under the sea. i stare at all the underwater life and i watch a whale swim by the glass tube. there is an elegant door at the end of the tube im in. as i open it i see a bright light again. i start dreaming normally again. im in a game(black ops most likely), it was an fps.

second dream-
i go back into dreaming normally and my dream starts with me driving with my friend thomas. we are being chased by cops. we drive all around my hometown till we crash and run away on foot. we get away and i walk home. my dad tries to tell me to turn myself in but i dont(ive just lost interest in the chase). i go to my computer and see a bunch of MSN conversations started. i read them and then go to sleep. thats when i wake up.

chased by baseball bats, gun fight at the pizza parlor, back at home they're hurt but will live

the price just tripled for you, drive to the hospital for surgery, you lost little girl

drive by the baseball field. nice home run, kid.

I am going to a camp. I go into a large building. Inside it is dark. There is an outer hall, after which there is a chain of rooms surrounding a large hall, which is connected to a little smaller room. I go to one of the rooms surrounding the large hall. There is a creature in it. I can't remember precisely, what it looked like, but I recall it was a large, purple mass connected to the floor and ceiling. Someone comes to me explaining something about parallel universes. We exist in multiple universes and do at least partially the same things in them, but this (I don't remember what 'this' was) we should do only in this universe and let the other universes take care of themselves. I continue to the hall. There is a bazaar in it. It is very dark, there are only some purple lights in the ceiling. I go to the other end of the room, to the smaller room. There is someone playing a piano there. There is also a lift in the middle of the room. I leave the room and go back to the bazaar. I go through it to one of the smaller rooms. I continue to the next room. It is about four times the size of the previous room. It is made of grey stone and there is a forge and some anvils in it. There was someone by the forge. I go through the room, and end up in the room with the lift in it. There are some people in it. I join them. The lift starts to rise but I am overcome by the fear of high places and leave it before it goes too high. I go back through the room with the forge in it, to the room with the thing in it and into the bazaar. I see a friend of mine. She is pushing some guy on the wall on the diaphragm with her elbow. Her face is dark with anger. I turn to the opposite direction. Some thugs surround me.
"You couldn't poke even a synthetic hole"
I leave that unanswered. Another of the speaks to me:
"Didn't you hear? And besides, you should be in your class. You see, right here"
He points at a list nailed on a pillar. I read it. The lesson is outside, in the sports field.

I leave the building and go to the sports field, which is just outside. There are some of my friends there. We leave the field and the camp area. The building is in a city. We are now in the city centre. I become lucid (at least partially, I realized that I'm in a dream and can do anything, but I still stayed with my friends). In this case anything didn't mean anything you can't do while awake but instead anything you can do while awake while no one is watching. Braking windows and going into buildings (without getting hurt), that sort of stuff. Now also my friends knew we could do anything so we decided to hang around in dangerous places. After hanging in a building site my friend asked:
"Where is the city centre?"
I answered that we are already there. We go around a corner. Below us is a park by a river. Another friend of my friend is sitting there on a bench. We go to talk to her. I ask her something.
"You are a part of my dream so you know, what I mean"
She starts melding into the wood, getting smaller and smaller. Before she can answer, her head is smaller than a fingertip. I put my finger on her face and when I take it off, she is gone.
"No! Come back!"
The image changes. Now there is a computer screen in front of me. I put my hand over it. The image changes again.
"Come back!"
The farmer on the computer speaks:
"Keep yourself lucky enough. Only five out of fifty get an answer."
Now I have a thin stick on my hand. Every time I wave it over the image, it changes, though only little. First the wallet hanging from the farmer's belt changes, the the colour of his clothes etc. I keep waving the stick over the image furiously until I wake up.