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Throughout (what I percieved to be) a long winter, and despite pressing domestic problems, I still managed reasonable amount of dream-recall. Now that the weather's improving and despite more time spent on preparation I'm getting virtually nothing...and the few fragmants I'm snatching are sooooo boring.

Is my mind going? Certainly I can no longer duplicate the mind-blowing (but ultimately unsuccessful) rushes I used to get when I tried WILD attempts during the day. Yes, I know that isn't supposed to work anyway but, to me, it was a visible sign of something that was maybe potentially powerful just around the corner...and, as such, it was quite a morale-booster. (maybe I burnt the connections out)

I've just had a two week email-tussle with a gas utility company (where I copied in all local papers, the ombudsman and my local MP) and the quality and sarcastic wit of my responses tells me I've still got some of my higher mental-functions...and I won. So why doesn't that reflect in a reasonably memorable dream?

Sure, I've still got health problems...the nose job doesn't seem to have really worked...although this area is so notorious for its poor air quality it will ultimately take my move away to prove that fact one way or the other...and I'm still pressed for time re house improvements.

Is Ed (for the benefit of new readers, he's my brain...I lean towards the opinion that mind and brain are seperates) is Ed trying to protect me from possible bad side effects of LD attempts? It's noticeable that most wake-times are a bit away from the end of REM effects (and the ones that are nearer do tend to make me feel a bit wobbly)

To answer that I'd need to be strapped to a full monitoring-device to record heart, respiration, blood pressure and brain function and they don't sell them in the local chemist (and to install a machine like that in my room I'd probably have to remove the bed...catch 22) in one of my LD's, as the dream ended I swear that I felt my heart-rate speed up but it didn't feel life-threatening.

As I've said ad-nauseum, I'm not likely to ever completely walk away from dream recall or LD attempts... because it's now so intregal to my whole philosophy of life, so I'll plod on, wait for the move, keep trying to move towards greater awareness and let Ed muse on these comments. Send me a sign ED...a dream where the grim reaper (like the one in Monty Python's Meaning of Life) slowly curls his bony finger and points to my heart and maybe I'll listen...or maybe not...



https://youtu.be/4tIg2nK67LQ

Afternoon of March 12, 2015. Thursday.



This dream was based on an ongoing real-life event when I was resting in the late afternoon/early evening, except that my dream is an extreme exaggeration of thoughts I had previously, before I learned more about what was going on. The event involved a telephone company digging a hole right near our house and even blocking off our fence and gate and ability to leave our own backyard. There was no notification that they would be doing this and it is yet another good example of the thoughtlessness and imposition of modern society and the incompetence of the infrastructure in general.

In my dream, we seem to be living in a different region where urban renewal is going on. It seems as if we live in the downstairs apartment of a commercial building (which may also be connected to someone else’s business) of some sort. The ceilings are quite high. The walls are concrete but the building seems to have a large crack near the front of it - related to the adjoining sidewalk and street. There is an area where you have to step across a crevice to go from the building’s front entrance to the sidewalk. It seems some of the cracking was made worse by recent digging related to the so-called urban renewal and no one was informed about the dangers they would be exposed to if continuing to live in their own homes.

Kitty corner from our fictional in-dream apartment building is a house similar to the one we presently live in in reality. However, there seems to be adjoining apartments on one side as well as a large parking area in the back of the other apartments. An unfamiliar female and her older son live in the house, renting it. At one point, even though I am not lucid, I become more and more annoyed by all the digging and building activity going on to where I develop a sense of having special abilities. I decide to attempt to bring things back to how they were. At this other house, I lift entire sections of the sidewalk up using nothing but my hands and notice that the concrete is still somewhat soft and moist but still hard enough to pick up in larger pieces. I remove the entire sidewalk from each area of the corner in both directions and am able to toss it into the street where mostly only smaller debris is left. I remove all the construction fencing and smaller barriers blocking the area as well. For some reason, I also tell the unknown female that I will help her find a much better house in the area (even suggesting that I will create it out of nothing with mental powers). I tell her that I am taking control of the entire town.

At this point, a group of people (of about eight or so) who apparently serve me and my unwavering goal are lined up near the curb. They are all wearing some sort of black-and-white uniform. I notice my wife as well as male friends from junior high school and a couple unfamiliar people. I ask them how many people they have eliminated from the area and the report is twenty, although I eliminate several people as well. I do not do this violently, however (which I suppose is unusual considering how angry I am). I mostly only focus and wave my hand to cause their elimination - possibly teleportation to another region rather than instant death. There is one scene near the parking lot where I am talking to the unknown female and someone I do not see closes their back door as if they thought I was looking into their apartment (which was not the case - all I was aware of was a shadowy area near a screen door prior to this).

Near the last part of my dream, I somehow (using some sort of in-dream “magic” or mental will - though I am still not lucid) wave my hands to seal up all cracks in the buildings, including our apartment house (recurring). Parts of the entire building and areas of the street move to more properly adjoin and stabilize. From there I go on to refurbish any areas that were ruined by the so-called urban renewal project.

A few government buildings, including a police station, are completely and swiftly covered with large vines until only a park-like area is left. It is interesting how I repair some buildings while others are swiftly split up and crumbled into dust by plants. Everything seems to be going well at this point.

Most of this dream is based on real impressions and experiences (and a level of wish fulfillment) other than the ongoing imposition just outside our window. There was even a time in real life fairly recently where someone started to set up equipment and a lot of demolition fencing right near our house and fence. This was by mistake on this occasion, but by the time we got his attention (yelling directly at him had no effect whatsoever - apparently he was hard of hearing but we did not know this), he had already emptied the truck. He seemed to partially blame us for his ridiculous mistake - partly by living in a house that was vaguely similar to where he was actually supposed to go - apparently no address was given to him; talk about an insane level of incompetence. (Apparently we were also somehow supposed to know he was hard of hearing as well as knowing the exact moment he started unloading the heavy materials when we were in the house for a time and were not aware he was there at first).

1.I am already lucid. I was in my house. It was daytime and I was all alone. I walked down my hallway and observed everything quietly. It was so quiet and relaxing. I walked into my parents room and looked around. Suddenly everything started going crazy. The house started shaking and my vision started to turn grainy. I remembered my dream goal, to find a specific girl DC before the end of the dream. So as I felt myself fading, instead of trying to save the dream, I tried to get this girl. What a rational choice lol. I hold out my hand with my palm open and command the dream, "Bring [DC Girl] to my hand right now!" but the command didnt work because I didnt believe.

Note: The dream was WAY longer than this. The entire lucid dream itself felt like hours long, but I forgot most of it since it was from last week.

Had a lucid this morning it was short but i was able to explore the area i was in for a little bit. There was a walkway and thought i was coming up to a lottery ticket stand but then i got excited and woke up... love it when im lucid enough to explore...

Morning of April 11, 2015. Saturday.



Not much happens here. There is a pile of miscellaneous items on the bed, including handheld computer games, books (including board books for toddlers), a few small items of clothing, a few DVDs, and random toys - near the center, though not causing a problem for me as I am resting on the bed. I seem to have my eyes closed at times and yet can still search through the small pile, sometimes with my mind alone (without moving anything). Over time, the pile seems to change slightly as certain items appear or vanish. I am not even exactly sure what I am looking for, perhaps a particular book as I seem to remember a focus on a particular title which I do not remember. There is an abstract sequence where it almost seems relevant to what I am thinking; that is, I think of something not quite defined (such as an idea or phrase rather than an actual object), and it materializes but does not stay on the pile that long. Some of the items are actually completely abstract and hard to describe, sometimes with the property of being intangible and slowly sinking through other objects.

My dream becomes clearer before it ends, but only includes a scene where an unknown female brings her daughter into the room, declaring her to be “iconoclastic”, which I am not sure of the meaning of in-dream. I think about the possible meaning, though am associating incorrectly, as I think of the concept of being goddess-like, though it actually means “criticizing or attacking cherished beliefs or institutions”, though my dream did not seem to have any negative implications or feelings. I have had numerous dreams where words are used or established with wrong or “unintended” meanings, primarily due to the lack of conscious thinking and reasoning skills when unconscious, though, on the other hand, interesting and unique puns are sometimes established.

#1 In a diner with my 5 year old daughter. Bad spirits try to steal her by trickery. Bear, her clan animal, places the protective hiragana for "bear" on her lower right back with a swipe, and I defeat the bad spirits and take her away before soul corruption can take hold.

#2 At a hospital for a scientific study. They have a "nice" bear in the waiting room, but it is agitated by my daughter's loud voice and running around, and it scratches her back on her upper right shoulder blades. I grab her and bring her to the ER for healing, they are shocked by the scratches from the bear, but even more so by the tattoo on her back from #1.

IRL -- I have just started learning japanese hiragana, and only know half the alphabet, no words yet. I drew the letters I saw in my dream, and when I look them up online, they spell "Kuma" which means "Bear"!

Awake
Lucid
Non-Lucid
Thoughts

Something

I'd prefer not saying what it was, but my brother wanted me to eat something.

Fire

I'm glad I remembered this dream. I nearly forgot it after I woke up.

The dream starts when I'm walking down towards my house from the bus stop. Usually when I take the bus home from school my friend's sister is there as well. When I was walking I felt a threatening presence following me from behind. Also, up on a nearby intersection there was my dad and someone else who seemed scary. So I decided to go to my friend's house just to stay there for a bit instead, and his sister didn't seem to mind. When we arrived there, their house seemed to take up the whole corner of a street and the first floor walls were made of glass and the second floor walls was apparently an aquarium. What a missed chance for lucidity :S. When I approached the door I was suddenly inside a room on the floor with the aquarium walls and it was a small rectangular room with a large oval-shaped concrete thing in the center. The oval was pushed inside to seemingly take the shape of a bowl. I thought it was a bed, for some reason. After I thought it was time to go back home and I was, again, instantly transported in my house. There, either from thin air or from television, I heard the house I was just in caught on fire, and I was a prime suspect. I was afraid I would have been falsely arrested. I was then instantly transported again into this room with a bowl of bananas on a table. I was sitting on a chair and there was an empty chair next to me with no one sitting on it. But, I felt that there was a detective with me. He said that there was a new species of spider and that this spider came from new bananas. Don't even ask, I don't even know myself ._. . He also said that these spiders were the cause of these fires. So we were then transported towards the end of the street from my friend's house and that was when the detective took physical form. We were both wearing detective coats. We were walking across the street when suddenly a fissure was forming under us and lava was about to be spewed from it. We managed to jump back to dodge just in time. Then, in a seemingly UFO-like machine, a person on it was laughing at us. I assumed he had the spiders and was the cause of this, but the dream scape changed and I forgot anything after this.

I had a dream this morning that this guy I work with, a big dude about 500 pounds, made a popular youtube series based off a perpetual roller coaster. He promised 5 videos a week, just blogging from this coaster. It was more than just a roller coaster at the time, but as a dream character explained to me, it was essentially just a roller coaster. After a few days, he got bored of said coaster, and switched his videos to focus on oculus rift games.

He showed the potential of the oculus, shared his experiences, and made very good tutorials to provide the best experience with the device. Me and my dream brother got so into his videos that we got our own rifts and played some games designed for the device. This was set a few years into the future as brother also had a rift, and there was also motion tracking included. We scoured a forest looking at how realistic everything seemed. We found this alcove in the woods and decided to camp there for a bit.

I noticed some rocks sitting in a corner, and to my surprise each of them could be picked up and dynamically tossed about anywhere. I peeked around a corner and noticed a cabin up above and to the left. I threw the rock I was holding and it landed inside the cabin. Brother started tossing rocks inside too. I tried getting them in a specific spot inside and kept missing. I eventually got up and went inside the cabin and saw a camera up where I was throwing rocks before.

I mentioned this to my brother, and he looked outside the cabin on the other side from where we were before, and he said he found the camera mother load. I followed and saw like 27 cameras all pointing in different locations. Me and brother then ran back to a main camp of sorts feeling like we were being watched. The dream transitioned smoothly out of the oculus rift experience and suddenly I was really there in this forest on the way to this camp.

We were about to go to bed, when suddenly there is this loud POP outside the cabins. I go out and ask a friend who appeared to be the culprit, and she said she "Caused the birds to suicide." I found she had just set off a ton of fireworks and caused the woods around us to start catching fire... I see flames start creeping up the trees immediately above the fireworks and start saying "Fire...Fire guys!" I looked back at the cabins and one was already engulfed in flames. I ran back to the cabin I was sleeping at and everyone was already evacuating. Everyone was so nonchalant and calm while I was panicking. Nobody seemed to care that everything was burning around them. The flames burned brighter and hotter as the dream faded out of existence and I woke up.

I had a dream I was driving up and down the highway a bit beyond my house. I remember stopping out a house beyond the bay and there were a few people there. It was a blue house with two stories iirc. I think I drove a white minivan, and I remember there were varying amounts of people in the back (people I know irl).

Last night I had a dream that I was in my grandmother's computer room. But it was like some kind of hangout. There were a few more computers in there and a lot of people I knew were over. Some people were on the computers, some people were playing world of warcraft. The girl I liked was in the dream (ugh), so of course dream me wanted to talk to her. I remember going out into the kitchen to get something to eat, and she was out in the pool/screened-in patio area talking to my mom. Later it changed to a classroom setting, my math class (surprisingly from what I remember everything was in the right place! except where I usually sit). As class ended we walked out and I went up to talk to her (I had something to tell her friday but she wasnt there so I was trying to tell her that in the dream, ugh). I couldn't finish what I was saying and she seemed disinterested. (I guess my subconscious doubts myself again dammit lol)

I'm walking down this sidewalk along a white picket fence. I get to this house that had large swing type gate and know i have to go in here, but as I'm turning the corner i guess i had my mouth open a bit and I feel something vibrating in my mouth. I lean over the sidewalk and keep trying to spit something out. It takes me 4 or tries and then things fall out of my mouth and onto the sidewalk. I kneel down to get a closer look, I see a bee on the ground missing one wing, and missing is black fur stripes like they were plucked out it just has the yellow fur stripes. I become grossed out that a bee was in my mouth and spit more trying to get anything left of it out. Then i look back down and the be and wonder why it didn't sting my tongue, and I begin to see it happening in my head and then think to stop thinking about it or it will happen, i imagine swollen tongue and not being able to breathe. Then I wonder why the bee didn't sting the roof of my mouth, and then I imagine the roof of my mouth swelling and me not being able to breathe and I try to stop thinking about it so it won't happen. Then I decide to assume the bee was already dying and had lost it's stinger previously. Then I look down at the bee again and itss yellow stripes aren't as vibrant as they were, now they've gone light brown, and its one wing is dark brown with holes, it seems dry and brittle now, and I realize there is now another bee next to it on the sidewalk, and I wonder had I spat that one out too. Then I get up and walk into the yard by opening the swing fence.

A fragment - I'd just been fighting someone who's run off, and I'm looking at the way our fight has corrupted patches of the ground, feeling regret over that.

A woman is riding in a carriage and carrying a baby, with a small tapestry depicting an angel hanging opposite. She speaks to the angel in the tapestry, referring to it as the baby's father. The angel in the tapestry speaks back.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

An odd level of lucidity. I thought of it as feeling exactly like my waking perspective, which I disliked - I felt like I was stuck halfway between something. I had difficulty controlling anything, or even flying properly, though I could float just a bit off the ground. I was at my IRL home, and since I failed to change the scene at the front door, I started walking down the road, figuring that once I got far enough that my surroundings were less familiar, the scene would change naturally.

At the end of the road - which indeed has stopped resembling its IRL equivalent fairly quickly - I come across a small construction crew, and there's immediately an accident involving a passing car and one of the machines. I'm called over to speak as a witness. Eventually the construction worker invites both me and the driver of the car back to dinner at his house, saying that it's too late to be outdoors, it's not safe.

Some barely-lucid scenes at his home in which I meet one interesting young woman with some chronic disease; otherwise I'm mostly focused on finding an excuse to avoid eating anything and keeping my appearance hidden behind the high collar of my coat, which causes people to come to some wrong conclusions about me. I don't correct them. I eventually find an excuse to step outside.

He was right, it is dangerous to be out this late - many people have been infected by something like madness or bloodlust. It's a kind of miasma. I come across infected people in the woods armed with farm equipment, pitchforks and that sort of thing; they've been waiting in this one patch of shadows to ambush whoever comes along. I enjoy this. Whatever this miasma has done to them, it doesn't affect me directly, not in the way it affects them at least; but their resulting madness is something I sort of feed off of, it's exhilarating.

At a crossroads I come across a group of four people who work for me - a blonde woman with her hair in a bun, a very pale man with long black hair, a small man wearing glasses, and a bald man with a tattoo in the center of his forehead. They've plainly been enjoying the night. As we greet each other, that young woman from the house emerges from the woods and attacks me with a sword. She makes this stunningly noble and upright figure, in stark contrast to the general miasma; I like her instantly.

One of my men intercepts her, and as she's fighting him, she's accusing me of being responsible for everything going on around here. She says she recognized me at the house - apparently I'm someone in the public eye in some way - and that she'd always suspected me of being corrupted, and now I've proven it. She's not exactly wrong. I'm not the one who corrupted this place, in fact I'm trying to hunt that person down - but I am part of the corruption, she's right about that much. When my man's got her restrained, I try to explain this to her; we have a mutual enemy. If she wants to hunt him down, my corruption could be useful to her.

Dreamed I was back working in my old job (working on a worldwide corporation) but in a totally different position. Every few minutes I caught a woman giving me the eye - as in I fancy you look.
I sensed that her and her boyfriend who had been together for a very long time were either splitting up, or she really wanted to breakup / try something new or they both wanted to tease each other by telling themselves they were going to date someone new.
After avoiding direct contact with her a number of times I decided just like that to ask her out. I did so when I was after leaving a room were I had been asked to leave because the seat I was sitting on had been pre booked.
Her friends then chased me to ensure I would not escape. Eventually the trapped me!

Before leaving the room I was in I was sitting beside an former work colleague. Like real life I felt a sense of guilt and shame sitting beside him because he works hard to support and maintain himself and his family. Even though I was a level above him at work I always felt shame, guilt and insecure around him because I didn't have the qualifications he had. Instead I had deep first hand experience of the job itself which in many ways allow me to see his position in its entirety. I was a Portfolio Manager and he was a Project Manager.
Another way of putting this is that he is 100% engaged in normal western life while I am 100% engaged in a spiritual path. So sometimes he can't understand when I tell me I'm not interested in looking for a job.

While sitting beside him - we were among a large group of people attending a lecture or meeting, another very senior figure sat down beside us. The more I reluctantly told him what my job was (I was telling him about my last job as if it were my current job), the more and more intrigued he became. But in the end he still choose to ask me to leave because he was the person who had pre-booked the seat I was sitting in. I didn't take this personally because that's the way pre-booking things work.

Directly before all of the above I was in a very small community (<10) people who were getting ready to vote on a national issue. But they were deeply concerned that their problems would not be represented because although the vote counting system was the fairest it could be, they ultimately belived that they were simply too little in number.

Firefighters, frying

I have joined forces of firefighters as a citizen duty. I went to an old, abandoned industrial building where for some reasons our base was placed. We haven't done anything but talk about how it all works, as it was the first day of my squad on duty.

Suddenly we've got a call that something is going on in nearby area. We ran a long stairway, and checked the area. Except a weird, frightened woman running away from strange man we haven't noticed anything - and I was the only person to see them. We ran back down, and talked about a big ceremony. We had to place a flag atop a huge flag pole.

Then my duty ended, and I went to my second job. I was a frying man in local restaurant. I had to fry, while the inspector looked at every of my moves. I fried everything they gave me, and tried to use my technique as best as I can. The inspector wasn't impressed.

I was dreaming of walking down a street in my childhood neighborhood. I was in a hurry and thought: if I was dreaming I could be flying now instead of walking - wait! Why not repeatedly run and jump? It's a good feeling ( I remember doing it a lot in my childhood). So I run fast down the street and jump. I notice that I stay quite long on air - can this be a dream? I jump again trying to stay longer on air and I just keep on flying! Wow! It's a dream! I am flying down this beautiful old city with colorful buildings over a green street.

Now the road starts going uphill and I continue to fly going upwards. I lad and just can't believe that all the dream scenes I remembered were actually dreams... I start recalling the dream... and I am in bed... amazed of the life-like feeling of the previous dreams. I conclude that the REM period must be over. Nevertheless, I decide to try and stay aware for a DEILD, but I drift into a normal dream - actually in the morning, this is the only dream-fragment I remember, obviously because I was lucid...

so this dream is really weird and i forgot almost all of it immediately when i woke up. so it started out me looking at a fb post at about 1:00 sacred geometery and bad entities with dmt! so i was intrigued and read it for about 30 min. it gets too a point where in my room i don't feel comfortable when it gets to late.. stuff starts feeling uneasy and i don't like it at all. so i tell my self, " maybe its time to sleep now cause I'm feeling pretty freaked out about this post." idk why i was freaked out cause I've never done dmt in my life. it was just a scary entry about it. so i finally fall asleep in a really uneasy way and all i remember is waking up and feeling a bad presence , waking up feeling a bad presence.. over and over feeling like it was just nagging at me telling me,"haha you can't sleep". so this is when i figured out it was a dream. at one point of this occurring i got out of bed to get water or just to leave my room cause the feeling of someone watching me or atleast a weird presence. i walked down my hallway and everything was really distorted and almost pitch black like i couldn't see.. i was running into walls and i saw my step dad sitting on the couch he didn't talk he just sat there.. well what i thought i saw was him, maybe a being idk. its was all weird so i turned back to my room. i finally thought after that, hey this is a dream cause my vision isn't that bad. so thats when all the feeling went away i think. and i just slept.. like everything went blank before i got back into bed. I woke up the next day and asked if i got up last night in the middle of the night and my stepdad said no.(he stays up pretty late and watches tv in my moms room). but i don't feel like it was just a presence of something bad, i remember faintly of it all feeling like i was being.. almost tortured in a way i guess over and over for like an eternity. it was really weird and i need someone to explain it too me.. really freaked me out!