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and im procrastinating.
but my dreams have tended to be absolutely bizarre and slightly negative lately.
i have had a number of "trying to wake up really hard but i can't" dreams. and false awakenings.
i also am really aggressive in a lot of dreams, like the one i had with matt when he randomly visited me and i was all pissed bc he shouldnt break our vow to not talk, but then after i felt really bad about it bc i was a bitch. and also the one where i was pissed at alex for prompting me to go to AA. OH SHIT and i had this marathon dream where i was literally a homeless boy and i was like ... ok it's way too complicated to even begin to describe but it involved this surreal video game type car thing like the rainbow infinity level in mario where u drive that little cart around on the rainbow lane and its so easy to fall off and if u do u fall in space, which is all in the background. basically i was pissed at amanda in that dream too, she's still in my dreams often and still as weird as ever in them

i am lovin the surreality (which is the art i'm studying in art history, probably prompting it) bc its fukin bizarre and interesting and outta this worldddd yo

barely lucid lately. slight moments mainly with flying.

i really should not be writing this bc of my final in several hours but this ones pretty damn weird....

so me alex mom and mom's whole side of the family were on vacation in hawaii. alex me and the clot boys were playing a super smash bros type game or some videogame. they were drinking and alex had straight up vodka and was drunk, which never happens in real life so it was weird. anyway so jeff was drunk too and he was like trying to do something weird with this box of wine that involved carrying it and throwing it really hard. to make it easier for the person who had to complete that task, he shook the box and broke all the bottles n i guess that made it better i dont fukin know. so then alex goes to grab the box and throw it, but i was like "wait but theres broken glass sticking out of that!!!" but he didnt care bc he was drunk and then he picked it up and then it fell on top of his hand.

alex looked with a horrified look at this forearm- it was broken off, his hand was gone, and there was this little plastic knob like barbies have when u break off their head. i thought that was weird but nonetheless we all were horrified for a moment and didnt know what to do and mom was screaming oh and joanie was there and then i was like WE NEED TO GO TO THE ER!! NOW and i randomly just pulled this fire alarm and i guess we happened to be in a hospital, such a subtle convenient dream switch, and rushed him over.

in the end he was fine but idk if his arm was broken off. dad told him he needs to go to AA. i was pissed bc Dad forced me to go bc mom and dad thought it would be "inevitable" so i might as well go with him. i was pissed at alex for doing that to me. they gave me an AA schedule for the week and said i need to go once a week. i freaked out and was like "IM NOT GONNA LEARN ANYTHING I HAVENT ALREADY LEARNED IV BEEN TO THOUSANDS OF FUCKIN MTGS!" and basically just went off on this tirade about how i dont need it and blablabla.

i think i lost that fight. then there was this whole portion of the dream where i wanted ranch and ketchup for this mass in n out fries order for the whole fam. i found ranch in the kitchen and was worried about the expiration date bc it looked gross but it said "expires 2064" on it so i was like damn i guess its new n fresh. i was mad that i didnt think to ask the person that ordered in n out for extra sauce... but in the end i made it work.

ari was also in the dream and she was trying to find me a swimsuit from her collection or something.

I'm in front of a pretty decent house in the suburbs with a slanted driveway and a manicured front yard. It's getting to be the evening or so, and as I'm walking down the street on the sidewalk, what looks like a middle-aged addict wants me to go with her. She's dressed in a style that would not be out of place in a trailer park summer BBQ. I don't recall her face, though, but I "know" it's the face of a casino-lounging smoker. I politely decline and keep walking.

After walking some more, I turn around and get a view of the street I just walked, and it is indeed a picturesque sub-urban neighborhood filled with relatively upscale houses and good looking yards -- suburbia hell, basically.

I see a younger, short, and slightly overweight blonde, just as "down home" style as the addict above. Again, can't see her face, but I "know" she has on way too much make-up. She asks me to marry her so she can have children, but asked in a way that's so sad that I think she's being forced. I politely decline, and tell her about adopting foster kids. She has never heard of this concept, and leaves very excited. She disappears into the back of the crowded train.

Yes, somehow, I'm on a pretty swank looking train now. People are dressed in formal-casual wear, except in a 20's style. It's well-lit, and way more spacious than a train. If not for Dream Knowledge that I'm on a train, I'd think I'm on a cruise ship or something. Oddly, all the vendors here use a point system to sell their things. Bottled water is worth something like 15-1600 points. Egg(s), though, costs a ridiculous 9999999 points on a big deli board menu in the middle of the train.

I spot C and Z, friends from high school i haven't seen since, in benches or pews on the train. I hop over some benches to go say hi, along the way seeing the younger woman again, only now she looks like Clara from Back to the Future III, complete with hair-color change. She seems happier. Don't know if she adopted her baby, though.

12.8:
I think I was exploring some sort of long-ago transit tunnel system. I think I'm treasure hunting for ancient technology, and I'm in a modern setting. I go exploring, and the tunnel slowly becomes more and more natural and cave like. I end up in an underground lake with natural lighting that shoots down in streaks.

12.7:
I definitely remember eating things, but that's all I can remember.

I woke up at a classroom where it was time to go to my next class, which was Biology.
I went to the bathroom to do no.2 and there was no stalls so I just went ahead and did it anyways I don't know why. I looked around for a bit and saw some of my classmates come into the bathroom to chat with me. I thought to myself "Is this normal?" but I never got Lucid
When I was done, I went out and saw my friend waiting at the door for me and we just went to Biology class.
On the way, I met these two people i've never seen before ask me if They could ditch their class to stay with us in Bio class. I said sure .
When we got there, the class wasn't open, There was no one in the classroom. Our P.E. teacher then came out of nowhere and said some thing like "Our Bio teacher isn't here because she already left to a different school so for this class period, You can just walk around and do whatever you want for an hour and then go to your next class." In the dream, somehow I knew that our teacher was leaving, but when I woke up, It sounded pretty weird. So we just went and walked around and then I woke up.

My friend and I were going to this one spot to do something I forgot.
When we reached there, we were just enjoying ourselves, swimming, eating, etc.
In a little while, I think it was that my friend wanted to live there forever, but I didn't want to so I stole his boat to get back to civilization.
Next thing I know, when I came back, He was trying to find me and kill me for some reason. I had to hide anywhere I can to hide from him.
In a little bit I woke up.

Morning of December 9, 2013. Monday.



In my dream, it seems to be the last day of middle school, possibly not the last day of the grade but prior to a supposed spring break, involving only sixth to eighth grade classes though I seem to be the oldest and with the highest level of authority in some sort of “commander” role. The part of the “school” we are in (which I perceive as probably being only about a quarter of the size of my real school in conscious afterthought) seems more like a slightly familiar grocery store in some areas, as the larger room is set out with mostly empty aisles similar to a grocery store (and running east to west with us in the west area of the building) but also with sections within the shelf areas that have tables or chairs or openings depending on the section. The northernmost shelf, behind the end section, has a table with my computer set up and with a (fictional) 3-D printer closer to the end section.

Instead of trying to manipulate my dream in my full lucidity, I feel confident enough to remain mentally passive and see what happens (as I already had full control of my martial arts dream that came before this one). The group of students within my dream, mostly male, seems to be of a pretend paramilitary group involved in war games. However, there are no replica weapons, maps, or other aspects at my dream’s beginning point. Our teachers have apparently already left for the day earlier this morning. I continue to have the most authority though am still just another student it seems.

A seemingly familiar classmate in shabby greenish-gray loose-fitting clothing and of a dull-witted visage hands me a (I assume) replica Beretta M1934 (very dark matte blue), apparently from the tall narrow locker in a room through a doorway to the northwest corner. The trigger on the Beretta M1934 seems to be facing the wrong way (the crescent shape pointing towards the user), but I am uncertain of the implications - it would probably still work the same way, as everything else seems correct. (This event may have been influenced by thoughts on the new humidifier we bought in real life, in it having two buttons switched around relative to their functions though it still works). In being annoyed that a dream character had the audacity to try to get the “war games” started on terms other than mine, I mentally transform the pistol into a construct of nougat of the exact same shape and immediately proceed to eat the sweet, wonderful-tasting bluish-colored nougat - at least about twenty-five percent of it. I place it on my table and say “irrelevant” and tell him to go home, which he does a bit reluctantly.



Soon, I start to pull out maps from near the table and place them on the ends of the aisles. The one farthest to the south (all focus here is on the western ends of the aisles and there are at least four) is quite large, with at least six creases and is vertically narrower. It looks the most complex and colorful yet also seems to relate to some sort of Celtic legend or fantasy, possibly relevant to a recently released computer RPG, the implications of which start to bore me. Many of the students (including at least two unknown females) seem more interested in this than the other maps and supposed plans. It seems, though, the majority would still prefer a World War II scenario in the war games, although there are different opinions expressed from time to time, including from a couple students continuously contradicting themselves relative to their interests.

I try to get things going a little better, as there are only a few hours left on this last day before spring break, yet no one is really in costume yet either, so engaging in war games with only the person (with no uniform) and nothing else seems a bit pointless. I ask one person what they would like and they tell me “a blue machine gun”. I go over to my computer and start to type “blue machine gun” so that my 3-D printer will create one. This seems to be going fine as I type b, l, u - but then the keyboard blows up in my face in flame and smoke. There seems to be a clever but unexpected play on “blew” and “blue”, and I am really annoyed by this pun altering my intent. However, I keep going without wanting any of the other dream characters to notice my frustration. There is not much left of my computer keyboard and most of its keys are now missing (but mostly only as if removed for cleaning as there does not appear to be much fire damage), leaving mostly only a hollow space in its center area. The keys that are still on my keyboard and possibly usable are the ones with the least frequency, such as Z, Q, X, J, K, and a few others. I stoically pretend to type “blue machine gun” on the missing keys and mentally force the 3-D printer to come on and create the blue machine gun anyway. I test it and it is one of those toy machine guns that makes a sort of repetitive clacking sound. As I hand the toy weapon to the student, the barrel support turns black. “No, all blue, you imbecile,” I say to the toy weapon, and it changes back, but only for a few seconds, then returns to being all blue except for the barrel support area. Still, the fellow student seems very happy with it and runs off.

I go back to make more items that may be put to use but there is a small isolated adapter on the table related to the monitor and which seems to be open and exposing capacitors and wiring. It soon starts to sizzle, catch on fire, and make a lot of black smoke. I unplug everything. A few people notice my mishaps. Still - I mentally will everything to work without being plugged in while not even pretending to use the computer keyboard at that point. No one comments on (or even seems to care or notice much) me using my equipment without electricity.

I then consider if vehicles will be needed for our war games. I ask another student what sort of vehicle he wants and after seeming to think awhile on it, he says “a road”. I am annoyed and tell him that a road is not a vehicle and am not sure if anything will ever get started before this day ends.

Soon, many of the other students start singing the old Freakies Cereal song (from 1974), which for some reason, has been stuck in my head lately (relative to research for another dream). Apparently, I am now “Boss Moss”. “Make sure you spell it right!” I yell as the real-life song response phrase as they are all singing and leaving via the eastern doorway and then wandering about on the streets in random pursuit of each other. “Wait!” I yell, “that’s not very bright to say spell it right” (doing a dancing rhyme) “it should be ‘make sure you spell it CORRECTLY!’" No one cares, and most are still using “invisible” (imaginary) weapons - and falling over pretending to die and quickly getting up again and zigzagging north up the streets and sidewalks as my dream begins to break up and lose focus with the song still ringing in my head yet with a sense of the beginning of summer (which contradicts the implied season in the first part of my dream).

non lucid
*I attended some strange hindu festival. I was given advice that when you are worried chant your mantra.
*I stood on a house built on a river. I thought this could break any second then it did.
*I dreamt in anime style mixed with the realism of reality.

LUCID
*There was allot that happened before this but I will start here. While exploring the dream neighborhood I thought task of the month! I started to searching this house I was next to but nothing. The house was dark and kind of creepy. Then I walked around outside for a bit enjoying the bright beautiful day. There was a point were I just extended my hands to my side doing circles while being mindful the warm sun, great feeling! Then I notice an older Indian lady walking up to her house. I ran up to her saying, can you give me a gift? She is Yes!, then took off her necklace to give to me. The necklace had three diamonds in it. After that I felt extremely close to her, we held hands and took a walk. I didn't wanna be away from her. It's like we were best friends. It wasn't necessarily lustful but there was something passionate about it .

I parkour in an empty field with random floating objects with my friends. The objective is to arrive at the flat shape object few meters away. I finished in the 5th place

Morning of December 9, 2013. Monday.



My dream, mostly with lucid focus, begins as a sort of practice in martial arts in a building that has a long hallway (south to north). It seems to be on the second floor and seems vaguely modeled after the King Street boarding house though with partial layouts reminiscent of my high school in Florida. Over time, I deliberately do all of my movements in slow motion, which seems kind of hilarious. I run down the hallway (in a sort of leaping run) and it feels very “real” in the sense of the slow motion aspects.

Another person comes up to me, but I just punch him in the jaw. It seems that he also has the ability to move in slow motion on his own and it is also hilarious as he starts to fall backwards in slow motion but is able to stabilize himself and stay standing somehow - which is good, as he was smaller and weaker and I did not want to actually hurt him. (I actually wait for seemingly a long time to see if he recovers as such as he is falling - or seems to be falling - in slow motion.) Another person decides to make an annoying comment (I can tell this by some sort of telepathic awareness), but (just as he approaches and before he opens his mouth to speak) I deliberately place them into a much slower slow motion than the present ongoing slow motion speed. I figure that by the time others and I leave the martial arts school, he will only just then start to form his mouth into the first word of what he was originally going to say and no one will be there to hear him. That also seems hilarious.

12/08/13

Night Hero
I am walking home late at night. I am again completely non-lucid. My name is Rebecca. I am walking home from my job at a local diner. I am a waitress there. I really hate my job but I won't be able to get anything better until I finish school. I am in college studying Computer Science. I will soon be a Network Administrator. That will be much better. Right now I am tired and anxious to get home to bed. I had to work late because Gracie, the girl who was supposed to take over after my shift at the 24 hour diner, had been late. An hour late. So I am tired, I am pissed. Some people have no consideration for others.

I am passing an alley that could easily serve as a shortcut to get home. It would cut a good 15 minutes off of my walk. But it is a dark and creepy alley... It looks like bad things could happen there. No... I'm just being paranoid. This is a nice neighborhood. Nothing happens here. I decide I'm sure I can take the shortcut just this once and be safe. I'm 27 years old... I can manage to get home on my own! After briefly considering, I go down the alley at a fast walk. If I hurry I can shave even more than 15 minutes off of my time.

I am about halfway through the alley when I get the feeling I am being watched. I try to brush it off, I'm just being paranoid again. Still, I walk a bit faster. I am just passing an alley that branches off to the left when a dark figure emerges. A rather large and dirty man. He smells bad. He speaks as if he is talking to himself, he says, "Look what we have here!" I go to continue on my way. The man cuts me off and asks where I'm going, the fun has just started. I tell him I'm not interested. He moves faster than I thought he could and grabs my arm roughly. He pulls out a large knife and holds it at my neck. He pushes me down beside a dumpster and then the next thing I know he is on top of me. He is laughing and he smells horrible. He holds the knife at my neck again and says if I resist he'll kill me. He is holding both my wrists in one of his huge hands as he undoes his belt and zipper with the other. I fight to get free but he's too strong and he just laughs. I call for help, but there is no one to hear... no one to help me. I feel cold inside, I am about to get raped and there's nothing I can do about it. I scream and he tells me to shut up or he'll see how loud I can scream with a slit throat. He is ripping my shirt open and my skirt off...

And then he is off me. Someone has grabbed him and pulled him right off me. He curses loudly and grabs his knife as he is grabbed. He turns around and stabs the person that grabbed him. NO! This is worse than getting raped! Someone came to help me and now he might get killed for it! I try to scramble to my feet to do anything I can to keep my rescuer from being killed but I slip and fall back on my butt. My attacker is stabbing my rescuer over and over and over again, cursing loudly. "What the FUCK?! Why aren't you DYING?!" Then I realize my attacker is actually being held almost a foot off of the ground by the man who came to help me. He is stabbing violently and desperately but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. Then something skewers the man. Three razor sharp claws cut through my attacker like paper. The man's cursing changes to pained gurgles. The claws cut the man practically in two. Strange tendrils come from the other man and surround my attacker, ripping into him and literally EATING him until there's nothing left. The would-be rapist lets out some gargled screams as he is being eaten and then goes silent.

There is now just one figure standing over me. And he is not human. He is mostly human in appearance, but both of his hands are taloned claws that are still dripping with my attacker's blood. I realize who it is. I have seen news reports about this, warnings to stay away at all costs. The only sightings of this... man, if he can be called a man, was on the opposite side of New York, but here he is. I find I am looking at Alex Mercer himself, he just killed my would-be rapist, and I am next. I scramble backward, away from him, though I'm sure there is no way I can escape. His claws transform back into hands and he takes a step towards me. I am desperate to escape, I am wishing I could fit under the dumpster... but of course that's impossible. He stops and glares down at me. He looks pissed off. Great... I just met the infamous Alex Mercer and he's in a bad mood. He calls me pathetic and then turns and walks away down the alley my attacker had emerged from.

I stare after Alex, at first I am just shocked that he is leaving me alive. He didn't lay a hand... or claw... on me. That doesn't fit what I've heard at all. The news reports, the warnings, all of them describing Alex Mercer as a psychopathic madman who would happily rip apart and consume anyone he comes across... This doesn't fit at all. Then I start feeling bad. Maybe the news reports and warnings aren't true. And if they aren't, that means Alex just showed up in the nick of time and saved me from being raped and possibly murdered, and I respond like he's some kind of monster. No... I won't let that stand. It's just not right. I get up, pulling my skirt back up quickly. I call after Alex, calling his name. I see him in the alley, silhouetted against the distant street lights. He doesn't respond. I feel the need to not let this go that way. I chase after Alex. As I approach him from behind he suddenly turns, probably because he hears me approaching. As he turns he forms his claws again as if he is expecting an attack. I'm almost to him, and he has his claws spread wide away from his body, so I keep going and put my arms around him, hugging him, thanking him, trying to make up for my strange behavior earlier with a show of gratitude now.

At first it seems Alex doesn't know how to respond. Then finally I feel his arms close around me, and it is his hands rather than his claws that I feel on my back. He finally asks if I am ok, am I hurt? I tell him I'm fine, thanks to him. He lets go of me and pushes me away a couple feet. He asks what happened to me being scared of him? He adds sarcastically that I'd better run away quick before the monster kills me. He still looks annoyed. I put my arms around him again and say I'm not worried about any monster. "You killed the monster back there. He won't hurt anyone ever again." I look into Alex's blue eyes. I am overcome with the thought, "Wow... He's hot! None of those news reports said he kills rapists, saves foolish young women, and he is sooooo hot!" I tell him I want to thank him properly... then I kiss him. He doesn't really respond. Ok, now I just feel awkward.

I want to disappear into a wall or the ground again, but for a totally different reason now. Of course I would be rescued by a hot guy and then make a fool of myself in multiple ways. I take a couple steps away from Alex, calling myself stupid under my breath. I stammer that I'm sorry and turn to run back down the alley. This crazy night can't end soon enough for my liking. As I am running away a strange tendril wraps around me just under my arms like a harness. It lifts me off my feet and pulls me back to Alex. My first thought is, "Oh, shit... I pissed him off!" But I know immediately when I look at him that he is not angry. He is smiling pleasantly. Maybe even amused by my awkwardness.

Alex carefully sets me down in front of him. He says there's nothing I have to be sorry for. And then he kisses me. We kiss for a bit and then separate. After a brief silence Alex says he'll walk me home, make sure nothing else happens to me. I am perfectly happy to have Alex walk me the rest of the way home.

We talk on the way home. It turns out that since the viral outbreak was stopped Alex had been using his abilities to help those in danger. But it seemed whenever he helped someone they always acted like I had initially, like he was some kind of monster. I tell him that's because of the news reports, which I am now seeing are full of lies. He says they're no doubt sponsored by Blackwatch. They haven't given up their obsession to track him down and kill him. But without the virus spreading they have lost their excuse to maintain a military presence in the city. They must be using civilians to try to track him. Making sure they would report him and not even consider trying to talk to him and hear his side of what's happened and is still happening.

We reach my house. I am again embarrassed that am living at home with my mother at my age. But I have an agreement with my mother that I can stay there rent free as long as I am attending classes and keeping my grades up. My job at the diner is enough for other expenses. My mother meets me at the door and is shocked by my appearance. I realize I'd forgotten that my shirt was torn in the attack. She asks what happened to me. Am I ok? She looks suspiciously at Alex and asks who he is. I don't want to tell her I almost got raped, she worries enough about me walking home at night. I tell her I'm fine. I just had a little accident on the way home. Alex here stopped to see that I was ok and walked me home. My mother looks at Alex for a bit and I worry that she'll recognize him as Alex Mercer. I silently curse at myself for calling him Alex instead of making a name up. She just thanks him for seeing me safely home. Alex asks me if I work tomorrow. I say yes. He says if I don't mind, maybe he'll see me later. He smiles and walks away. My mother says he seems nice... I am tired, so I excuse myself to go to bed. I undress and lie down, surprisingly falling asleep almost right away. I wake in my own bed.

Unedited straight from the iPod
Disturbing content. Discretion advised.


We were at Cathys house. Denise(glencliff) was asking how to post pictures on some website. We showed her how and she posted picture of her breasts. I went to her website and admired them lol. Everyone went to bed except me. I walked towards the stairs and laid down on the floor. I was chanting 6,6,6 and crawling slowly. I don’t know why I was doing this by the way. As I continued to crawl towards the stairs. I noticed fire in my peripheral and I started burning. I pushed on through the pain and started crawling upstairs. It became more intense as I progressed. Eventually it maxed out and I was on fire and my vision had fiery tracers distorting my view. It felt like I was floating around and I went into Denise’s room. She was naked and asleep. I touched her and she screamed. In response I ran to my room. The fire had stopped as well as the tracers. I laid sat down in worry. Jonah came running to her room. I left my room and went to investigate. She told Jonah a demon had “raped” her. I acted as if I knew nothing. Jonah said she had burns down her back. I started to mumble to myself, “I knew that shit was real, the devil is real.” I was frightened by what I had done. I went into Denise’s room and comforted her. Afterwards we started having sex for some reason. We used a bunch of condoms. Then she started to bleed and wanted to stop. Denise suggested I eat her out, which was disgusting under the circumstances. I declined and then a machine came in and opened her vagina. Her vagina enlarged into a flower. I sat in amazement. The machine became a sex toy and it was inviting me to give it a try. I declined lol. Then another machine connects to it and unopened tuna cans slide in. the machine opens the tuna cans one by one. It continues to do this and prepares food for us. We follow the shute and we end up in some foreign mayan land. We begin to eat as someone joins us. He pours soup in his “section” it starts spilling and leaking towards me. I start making remarks about my superiority over him. saying “if that soup spills in my river I will kill you” I then realize he is above my position and I ask for forgiveness. He laughs and the land starts to elevate vertically. My hands become covered in soup which turns in to paint. I start sliding down the patterned floor. I paint it as I slide down. It is beautiful. At the end I have painted a historic landmark. I tell denise how cool is it that I have done this and i am your boyfriend. She agrees and kisses me. I then fall further into a lake. I wake up at grandmas house at the bottom of the stairs. I see a different version of my masterpiece replacing the stairs. I walk towards the kitchen and sit down. the tv is on. It is a commercial advertising gaming. showing 3 handheld consoles that play old games. It shows grand theft auto and It becomes reality. In the game this girl is running really fast swinging num chucks. She’s beating innocent pedestrians. She approaches a cliff and starts pushing people into the water. some of them cant swim. It turns out the girl is denise. she then jumps in and begins to save these old people drowning. She saves some but most drown. As she starts searching for bodies she finds me tangled in seaweed. she pulls me up and i have rotted underwater. she pulls me up on a mayan style area. she screams and runs. i become very bloody and fill the area with blood. My “spirit” comes out of my body and I go after denise. she continues to run. I then start crawling again. I call this the anti crawl because this time I am praising god. I am burning at first but it gets less intense. Everything becomes filled with light and joy. I reach an ending that looks like a fireplace. but it is filled with light and holiness. I then start to float vertically into heaven. I was at peace and was very happy. But I never reached heaven. I instead reached a black void. I reasoned God did not allow me in due to the first evil crawl. As i was in this void a voice spoke to me. It sounded like Seth Rogen. The voices name was Sid. He explained i was in a vast consciousness. I looked through this circular window and saw stars everywhere. The voice explained I could do whatever I wanted. I tried flying around but was entangled in something with this floating Conscious voice. He started telling me that my name was Frank now. I wanted to see denise. that was my goal. I started to fall in this space like void back to earth. My spirit joined an old mans body in my grandparents house in my old room. I laid in bed in the dark looking around wondering what was going on. I started to edge my way out of the bed and hit the floor hard. I tried climbing back up but had a lot of trouble. I saw a hospital wristband on my right arm and read it. It said i was frank and i was 95 years old. I couldnt get back in bed. I looked to my right and there was Jane elmore. she stood up from her wheel chair and went to get help. nurses arrived and put me back in bed. they were all around me attaching things to me. There was this huge cylinder stuck to my chest filled with yellow fluids. They told me I was going to die. I asked to see jerichos girlfriend. they knew who i was talking about and went to get her. the doctors continued to poke at me and talk when a nurse brought denise in. My eyes were closing slowly until I saw her. My eyes jolted wide open and i died. Denise was frightened and confused. the nurse escorted her out. I started to ascend into heaven again but was not let in. I was back in the conscious void. I started to reason to myself heaven and hell were not real. nor was the demon. I reasoned that consciousness was the source of everything. i continued to float around forever conscious at peace.

12/07/13 I played DDO (online game) late into the night. When I did WBTB WILD it was so simple to recreate the vivid graphics. No normal dream formed, so I ran around Gianthold as my paladin and jumped off cliff and so on. Mostly my brain was trying to replay the exact images from the game, but I was able to steer and jump and such. Very vivid and fun. I think I kept it up about twenty minutes or so.

#247 - DEILD Chain - 3:28 AM

I am in bed cuddling and talking with my ex-wife. I am very aware of the feel of her next to me and notice she isnt wearing much. I begin to want sex and make out. She moving on top of my and I try to feel her breasts under her night gown. She grabs my hands and pushes them away. She tells me that doesn't want to with her parents home. I look at her face more closely and she is beautiful and much younger. I think this must just be a memory: a time before we started fighting. I remember that we divorced and I feel bad that things went so badly between us. I want to ask her if she regrets it all but I am afraid to mention it. I remember my new wife and the love I have for her. I think how wrong this is and that thought partially wakes me up.

I DEILD and vibrations start. There is a short and deep electronic growling sound and the vibes become faint then are gone. For a second I worry that I woke up but realize I that just phased really fast. I have a knowing that I am in my old bedroom in TX but I feel my wife next to me. I don't realize until later that she is on the wrong side of me. I quickly get out of bed, but something has my right hand. I can't see very well and the thing feels like cloth tied to my wrist. I struggle for a second but then chose to ignore it. My hand some free but there is a slight feeling of something on my wrist still. As I turn to the bedroom door I see 3 ghosts in sheets looming ominously before me blocking my exit. Like usual, I begin to verbally rebuke them with a good tongue lashing, but this time the words catch in my throat and I can only gasp. I am afraid and start to panic but quickly calm myself. I remember that I am the master of my domain. I assume an authoritative stance and point at them. The three entities immediately turn back into mere sheets and drop to the floor. I step over them and make my way through a very dark house. I mostly navigate from memory of the place and make my to the front door. As I reach for the doorknob, I sense a presence behind me. I turn to see if it is the ghosts and sure enough one of the sheets is following me. This time without fear I reach a hand toward it. The sheet collapses and comes to into grasp. I tuck the sheet into my "inventory" and say out loud, "We can use you to scare someone later." Smiling, I turn to the door but wake up.

I Deild and have more vibes. I focus and relax. I begin to feel myself sinking into the mattress. I have a couple of episode where I try to open my eyes but feel like my physical eyes open. I confuses me and causes me to start over. I am annoyed and just begin some walking motions. I am back in the hallway totally blind. I begin crawling feeling the title on the floor. Soon, I run into the front door. I have difficulty trying to open so I phase. I get partially into it and wake.

Again, I relax into a DEILD. Vibes. More sinking. This time I try floating but can only manage a few feet. Now I spend a lot of time playing with feeling stuck in transition. I begin to get bored and even more annoyed. I go back to crawling but this time I Imagine crawling outside. I feel grass in my hand and focus on it. I hear something like a truck with no muffler pass close by. I wonder if that's really happening, but quickly dismiss it. I remember that I could hear the boxfan a lot a few minutes ago and decide it's probably a sound distortion.

Now, I focus on seeing through my eyelids and my hands appear in front of me. I continue crawling in the grass begin to get short glimpses of a several patches of flowers. Some red and some are yellow. I note the feel of them. Then, I stop feeling pissed off that I just can't get deep in the dream enough. I begin to feel like Gollum from LOTR the way I am crawling around. I make reflexivly a "gollum" sound deep in my throat as I attempt looking around. I ingore that little outburst as I try to visualize a scene. To my dismay, nothing happens. I roll over on my back and look up. I get a brief view of night sky with a moon behind some clouds then go blind again. I decide to give up and relax. I focus on the two sense I do have. I listen and begin to hear the sounds of a deep forest at night. I hear crickets, frogs and even something like whip-poor-will. I focus on that and begin feeling peaceful and totally relaxed. I begin floating up and down several times as I listen soothing sounds of nature. I wake again.

I DEILD. Again, I imagine myself walking. I am back in my old bedroom. I can see a little better now but not nearly good enough so I decide to just play around until the dream gets just a little more stable. I am feeling a little tired from so much focus and start to lose my train of thought. There is a vision of a ninja woman. I say something taunting her. I summon a blade but It's just a little knife. I have some internal dialogue and try again. This time, a dagger. Better but not enough. I regain my focus and I realize I have been reaching with my right hand from the left side of my waist. Maybe if I reach over my shoulder like I am caring on it my back, it will be a ninja sword. I reach and pull out a huge,shiny Daikatana. I am alone in my room but I begin yelling some random Japanese phrases. I have no idea what I am saying but can't control myself. The words sound legit like I know what I am doing. I see a black bookcase and slash at it. The sword seems to have become invisible but the bookcase smashes apart. I plant my feet and do a spinning slash at another object. I feel like my movements are fluid and precise like I have had some training. I still don't see well as my vision is very dim. I turn and see daylight through red curtains on my window. I slash at intending to cut only the fabric. I hear and feel it but the curtain seem to be undamaged. I am shocked and I stare at them a moment wondering what went wrong. I shrug this off and turn 90 degrees to my right. There is an entertainment center with an old TV. I do an huge over handed downward slash but there is no damage. I can feel the hilt in my hands but as I look there is no sword. I think, "What a total rip-off. Suddenly, I feel my wife roll over in bed and this breaks my concentration. I wake up totally..


I was pleased with this dream but also disappointed it didn't go the way I wanted. I got really bad insomnia after this and instead of riding it out I decide it was prime time to play some AC4!