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NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID FALSE AWAKENING


22:50 GMT – Sleep

Game like dream. Can’t recall content.

0:00 GMT

Bus ride to village in distress
Just as two nights before (the hovercraft ride dream), I am on a bus with more people crossing dangerous mountain roads with dangerous manoeuvres from the driver and we almost fall down a cliff. We arrive at this remote village in a valley, surrounded by woods. There was some kind of catastrophe there and the basic services are disrupted. More madness is expected soon, riots and violence. A muscled guy comes and starts orienting us. For some reason he seems to befriend me more than the rest of the group. We come to help and we evaluate the situation sitting on a picnic table outside: we try to evaluate how much food, water and other essential goods there are and how long they’ll last and we realise it won’t last more than 4 or 5 days. Because everything is torn apart, I see this village name plate half covered by debris and the only letters remaining visible say “...have ...fun...” I think this is highly ironic.


Fragment
I’m inside a house, with a big window facing the street. It has something like an advertisement stick on the window and I’m trying to read it on reverse, when some guy outside knocks on the window. He wants to speak to me and seems a bit angry. I exit the place.

Mourning a dying man
I’m now entering a room at my neighbour C. house. Her dad is extremely sick (in some kind of coma) and people are all gathered around him, mourning him, as if he was already dead. Strangely, some of my cousins and even my late grand-grandmother are also there, even if they don’t belong to this family or are alive at all. I feel this is very uncomfortable and wonder if they have no hopes that he gets better? On my way out I meet my dad and he says I have to be more loving towards him because one day he’ll also be lying dead like this guy. Sure, but I already know that, no point in stressing that out!


2:30 GMT

More details of a previous dream
Regarding the mosque lucid dream I had had a few nights before, someone comes in this dream to tell me it is actually surrounded by English-style gardens but doesn’t know anything about sacred stones, only that there was some stone-sculpture exhibition there and that a few days some people gathered there to celebrate some ceremony.

I’m no dancer
I’m on some place where it’s playing music and I feel like dancing. I actually think I’m doing ok, when more people join me. I can tell they are professional dancers and compared to them I’m just not good enough, but I’m having fun, so I don’t care. Then I realise I’m in the middle of some dance class final exam. The teacher comes to me and asks me “Do you think you danced well? and I say that on a professional level, of course not. Then she asks some other dancer “Do you think she danced well?” and he says no. Then she says she rests her case and turns her back on me, like outcasting me. I feel a bit upset. I mean, I know I am just an amateur, but my dancing is not that offensive to anybody’s eyes, no need to be so tough on me. Some fellow dancers show solidarity with me but in the end I say it’s ok, in fact she is right. Then I invite them to come along with me to a Vivaldi concert that will happen on some nearby auditorium.


3:40 GMT

A lucid hot date
I’m with Nighthawk watching tv on the couch on a living room. At first we're apart from each other, but slowly we snuggle with each other, our noses are barely touching each other, we look in each other’s eyes and we kiss. He whispered “My god, it’s so good to kiss you.” and I smiled, my heart thumping. He says ”Marry me.” I don’t know what to say and I say it’s complicated. He knows, he gets up, determined about something. I don't stop him, but seconds later I decide to go after him. On the corridor I remember to do a reality check . I put my hand on the wall and it sinks. I get lucid and for the first time on a lucid dream I actually feel frustrated that it is just a dream but I still decide I want to see how this will go on.
I find him on the next room with Riverstone, who is completely focused on something like a book and holding a cup of tea in his hand. I put my hand on the wall, I make a hole on it and I ask them “Do you know what this means?”. Riverstone looks totally disconnected and doesn’t react. Nighthawk has a misterious smile on his face and I don’t understand what goes on on his mind. I grab a piece of dissolved wall on my hand and pour it into Riverstone cup of tea telling him “This is just a fucking dream!”. He says I’m telling nonsense. I turn to Nighthawk and I say “He is always like this, he never believes me!”. Nighthawk, on the other hand, seems to be understanding exactly what I am talking about. Then he surprises me by replying “Well, I, on the other hand, know for sure this is damn real! I am really here with you!!! And I know we're dreaming!” Really? WOW! I was amazed.
I ask him “How...?” and he continues saying that he doesn’t recall those many dreams, but he does recall a few once in a while and that this might be one of those he will remember. I tell him he must absolutely remember this one!
At this point I realise that Riverstone is no longer with us. I turn to Nighthawk, absolutely thrilled and exhilarated with this totally lucid dream encounter. We smile and we kiss each other again, more passionately. We fall on the bed. I feel delighted with everything. Then his image starts to flicker and we realise he is losing lucidity and waking up. He says “Damn, not yet! I want to stay with you!” and I try to keep him there with me, grabbing him firmly. But he becomes just a blur, a shadow, until he totally disappears, like sand through my fingers. I find myself in this empty room, happy and sad at the same time. I sit on the floor and I stay there for a long time, hoping that he might re-enter the dream. But when I no longer feel the residues of his presence I decide there’s no point in staying longer, so I also wake up.

5:00 GMT

Excursion on the USA
I’m with Riverstone on some excursion in the US. We’re on a bus. A pregnant lady is just sitting in front of us. We’re passing by N.Y. and Riverstone is screaming joyfully every times he sees a landmark he recognizes. Later we’re outside any city, on some road leading to some other totally different place. We find ourselves in a swamp area. We see alligators on water and for some strange reason there’s a black guy swimming bravely among them. I worry for the guy but also comment that is so funny to be seeing alligators as I just had some conversation with someone about alligators during the day.


6:35 GMT

Love letter
I am again on a bus and some stupid guy/kid reads out loud a love letter I wrote to someone else. Although he doesn’t mention my name, he knows it’s mine and I believe everybody else will also know it’s mine. I wonder how he got it and feel terribly irritated. But instead of reacting, I just ignored him. I guessed this way I wouldn’t actually reveal myself and people would be in doubt. Only when the bus stops and we start coming out of it, I step on the guys passage and confront him with his action. I put my finger on his nose and make a threatening look and tell him something that scares him. He looks asian and familiar, but I have no clue who he actually is. He doesn’t like being threatened and tells me “Ok, ok. But why don’t you just tell the guy your feelings?” And I respond “But I did! What do you think that letter served for! I just wonder how you ended up with it in your hands.” He doesn’t confess.


Camp of giant cats
When we get out, we’re in some kind of camp and everybody starts smoking or is coughing. I comment it must be the lung cancer camp and the joke is not well received. Someone scolds me. We walk a bit further and I start to see lots of big houses, like an entire village and the most surprising of it is that I see giant cats looking behind them or inside them. Cool! I don’t kno if the cats are dangerous, but I start taking pictures of these amazing site.
[inspired by the cat sanctuary of this guy in the US, that collects abandoned and wild cats and takes care of them in this lovely sanctuary with tiny houses for the cats, as a real village.It even as a church and a wall-mart.]

8:30 GMT – Wake up

Fragment:

1. Matt shows me the extra DXM pills.

A Young'un Party

I find myself wandering around in a half-foresty half-civilized area, possibly blind during segments, but always having the ability to see. I eventually find myself at a younger girl's birthday party. Everybody's a freshman or so, and I imagine they're all David's friends. At some point during the party, I see that we're all dressed up, and I try to help a David/Bjorn mixture person pin on a regular tie. We go to a dance, but I show up basically in the last song. I'm in these weird suspenders. I'm not sure if I have a partner or not.

Alright, so a lot of things about this dream should've definitely clued me in.

Race for the Prize

I'm in this race, though it doesn't seem clear what type of race it is. It's around an oval stadium track. I run the race by rolling a lot, a la Zelda. I look on the screen and see another guy rolling a ton, going really fast. I also see myself get blown up, my headless body being dragged off the course casually. This freaks me out, as I begin to think I've died and am a ghost.

First dream about dying I've had in a while.

PART 1 - FREE BEER AND UNDERCOVER COPS

I'm walking down the street across from where I work, it's night. Some girl, mid 20s, black hair, wearing a professional navy colored suit, is handing out cans of beer - like how some people hand out promotional flyers to everyone who passes by, except it's cans of beer half as tall as a normal can. I take it even though I don't drink. The top is already open when she hands it to me.

I continue down the road and these two older guys start following me, late 30s, one has very light blond hair, almost white, especially his eyebrows, mostly bald... reminds me of Hank from the show Breaking Bad. Don't remember anything about the other guy.

They keep within my personal space, and somehow I figure they must be undercover cops. I look at the Hank guy and call it out, "so, you must be..." He pretends not to know what I'm getting at. I say "nevermind" and cross the street toward work, they follow me.

When we get to the other side, they reveal their identity and ask about the beer, if I've been drinking or plan to. I say that I hadn't drank any and have no intentions of doing so, which is true. They hear the sincerity and conviction in my voice, believe me, and leave me be.

ANALYSIS

The thing that stands out most to me is my conviction when I told them I wasn't going to drink, and the fact that they believed me.

Perhaps a message about the importance of sincerity.

- - -

PART 2 - BAR ZOMBIES

I go to a bar with my dad. There are couches... all of the patrons are sitting silently, staring off awkwardly. Men and women in their 40s, at least some of them are dad's family. I realize that they're just there because they don't want to be alone.

There was a much more complex storyline involving dad as well, but can't remember...

ANALYSIS

I think the important part of this one was the realization that they just didn't want to be alone.

It makes me think of how people will lower their standards in relationships (romantic or otherwise) just to avoid loneliness.

I was feeling oddly lonely yesterday and spoke to someone who I'd previously dismissed as too irritatingly trivial to interact with, just to talk to someone, anyone. I did so more on my own terms than before, however, not changing the way I acted to match theirs. Instead, they changed to match mine. It actually did make me feel better.

- - -

PART 3 - FAIL AT FEMALE DANCE CLASS

I'm in a dance class meant for females. I can't do the movement properly for some reason, I keep swaying back and forth with my arms, but it's not correct. When the session ends, I do a backward roll over my left shoulder.

Teacher is in mid to late 40s, neck length brown hair, taught face with some wrinkles.

ANALYSIS

I generally consider myself fairly feminine in certain ways.

I'm not sure what would trigger that sense of not being able to "get it right," however.

Except perhaps losing repetitively as Zerg in Starcraft, but that seems a bit of a stretch. Oh well, I always try to come up with at least one possibility for each part.

- - -

PART 4 - INFUSING MOVEMENT WITH FEELING IN PAINTING

I think this is the same class as the one above.

A male teacher - 40s, quite fat, longer hair (ponytail?) - challenged by a student that they "can't paint," demonstrates in front of the class by making 2 simple marks of a dark blue. They're very slow and deliberate, he twists the brush to make two marks each conveying movement into the other, like a yin yang. I can see he's infusing much feeling into the movements.

I'm able to recognize it because this is something I do naturally. I allow the feeling to take over my hands. I remember clearly the feeling of my arms moving involuntarily with the brush in the air.

ANALYSIS

The feeling or lack there of conveyed in movement is something I notice in people at all times.

Perhaps this theme of feeling in movement was the result of being quite focused on the sensation of swaying my arms in the previous part.

In fact, thinking about it now, I was really quite aware of it in the moment. I think this may be the first sign of greater dream awareness. It makes sense that it would begin kinesthetically for me. Focusing on body awareness first in dreams may be my personal key to achieving lucidity.

I feel that this is a very important discovery. Progress!

- - -

FRAGMENT

Walking down a street, cars and shops, downtown in some city, night. Someone is impersonating Immortal Technique, one of their lines ends with "poke them in the eye," I think this is weak and not something they would say.

ANALYSIS

Possibly triggered by a post I made on here mentioning IT.

When I first woke up, I thought I would have no dreams to report today. It seems to take some time for me to recall.

For me it's not a matter of "getting it all onto paper quickly before I forget," it's more "keep waiting around until some random thought triggers a memory, which triggers another one..." and so on.

[B]#14[/B]
[COLOR="RoyalBlue"]My family is at a party with many old people, my mom says I can just sit down on the chair on the other side of the table, by a window at the end of the table. I check Skype to see if all the guests have arrived. A song that I don't know is being played, two dwarves lead a dance, while many of the old people are dancing in a crowd behind the dwarves. One of the dwarves is a man and the other a woman, they are both wearing black clothes, the woman is wearing a red scarf.[/COLOR]

I didn't record right when I woke up, so these are just fragments.

1- School Dance
I am getting into the backseat of my mom's minivan, and my dad is about to drive me to a dance that is apparently going on. My brother and sister are also in the car, sitting in the middle seats. At some point I had reached into my pocket and found a plastic baggy that had pot in it, and I didn't want anyone to know. As I pass my brother to get into the backseat, the plastic baggy crinkles very loudly, as if there is a microphone on it or something. My brother thinks it is food, and so he sticks out his hand as though he wants me to give him some. "It's just an empty wrapper," I tell him. When we get to the school, I enter into the foyer, and a faculty member is asking to check my pockets. I am relieved when I don't have to turn them out, but merely show him what is inside. I obviously leave the plastic baggy in and show him everything else. "Actually, I'm gonna need to see that pocket" he says, and before I can run out the door, he grabs me and I yell.
FYI, I don't smoke pot. Just a dream. lol

2- Killer Queen
I am at a piano, and the sheet music to Killer Queen is on the stand. My friend is next to me holding her own music as well. I begin to play the first chords, but someone behind me asks me to wait. I obey, and glance over at my friend's music. Instead of reading normally, it is reversed, like in a mirror. I ask her why it is like that, and she tells me it is a photocopy, and I accept the notion that everything that is photocopied comes out in a mirror version. This is all I remember, and I'm angry that I didn't recognize an obvious dream sign.

06.07.2009

Baseball, Dances, and Math (Non-lucid)

★★★☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID







It's the top of the ninth, the score is 0-0. Two outs already on the board. I'm up to bat in a game and field that seems reminiscent of my old middle school. I start out swinging lefty, but miss the first ball. I remember that I'm a righty and step into the other box. Another swing and a miss. It's at this point I realize the bat itself has a large chunk of it broken off. I step out of the box, intending to fix this problem. I must have at some level realized I was dreaming, because all it took was a little will power and running my hands along the bat to fill in the rather large spot where the break was.

Immediately, I felt the difference in the weight of the bat. I stepped back into the batter's box. I mention that, with these new repairs, I'm 2/3 more likely to hit the ball. The pitcher, feeling my intent to knock it out of the park, walked me to first. The next batter hit a line drive through second which the second baseman missed. I somehow managed to make a run on that play. The next batter hit a home run, putting us up by three. Then we switched sides. I have no idea who got out, but w/e. They managed to get one controversial run that evoked an argument among the players and caused the game to be shut down by the person moderating it. After that, it was off to the dance.

I hate dances, so it makes sense that this next part was relatively short.

I go to the dance and enter the only open bathroom, with a classmate, at the end of the hall. Freshening up involves shaving, and dabbing my rampaging acne with a wet paper towel. When I'm done, I make my way through the throng of people. The dark atmosphere and hairdos reminded me of the late 90's. However, it isn't long before I recall I have a math quiz to get to.

The quiz is in a room from my old high school. I take a seat. And grab the stack of papers sitting there, thinking them to be the quiz. They were, but these quizes were already graded. I noticed a few hundreds, so I figured that despite my lack of studying I would be fine. I give papers back to the teacher and somehow procure a blank quiz. Let's just say when you combine simple Calculus concepts with Discrete Math concepts, and more advanced Calculus concepts, and horribly impossible questions that have no way to be solved, you get one bitch of a quiz. It didn't help that the teacher was standing over me half the time. I'm really self conscious about my Math. . .

The dream ended before I could finish the quiz.

My next dream involved some crazy mixture of Pokemon, Phantasy Star Online, traditional Japanese RPGs, and platforming. Much of it was pretty abstract, convoluted, and would be difficult to write about. So, I'm not going to.

_________________________

06.07.2009

Action Fragments (Non-lucid)

★★☆☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID







A lot of action dreams. I can't remember many of the details unfortunately. I'm pretty sure there were swords involved.

Night of April 10, 1989. Monday.



I am at my sister Marilyn’s house in La Crosse (on Loomis Street). It is fairly late at night. My brother-in-law Bob is watching television (and “not socially present”) as usual and I think my sister is working on a latch-hook rug. Brother Dennis and sister’s friend CS are also there.

Over time, bees get in the house through the front porch. I am very annoyed at the thought, as they pose a threat (though I am not allergic) in my dream (but I have nothing against them in real life). Eventually, I go outside onto the street (not in the middle, but to one side - the west, closet to my sister’s house, where cars usually park). I start dancing and singing in what is somewhat like a slow version of the Shawnee Stomp Dance.

Curiously, some clouds gather over the full moon and it starts to rain. The bees start to land on me, but the rain washes them away and I start to feel more and more ecstatic, moving my head about and surrendering to the amazing sensations of rain on my body.

I am watched from the doorway as if people are concerned about me. Apparently, they seem to think it is better to sit inside the house and get stung by bees than to be out dancing in the rain and getting wet. For some reason, this (their amazing ignorance) only inspires me to dance with more enthusiasm and sing louder and louder, feeling more and more blissful while giving thanks to the dark night sky above me that delivers the purity (in my dream) of the rain.

I am aware of their shadows in the doorway as if from a “lower” world or plane or beyond/below infrared. They stay inside as a feeling of beauty overwhelms me, almost like ecstasy, which leaves me breathless and feeling as if I am suddenly flying, seemingly formless, at an incredible speed into green fields.

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