I’m driving somewhere and notice that the horizon behind the hills has an ugly yellow tint of wildfire smoke. The look of it is unmistakable and instantly saddens and angers me. I sigh my discontent. Now, I’m walking with Melissa and Stella in what looks like these hills. We round a corner going uphill and some flames come into view. They are burning tall and intense yet confined to roughly a 20 foot diameter. We continue walking on the trail. (I had seen an ambulance? - which maybe I assumed was a fire truck - while driving earlier, otherwise I’d be calling 911. Come to think of it, it was headed in the wrong direction). As we get a little uphill of the flames I consider throwing some sand onto it or rolling some rocks over it. I then think the rolling rocks may only spread the fire and that it looks to be surrounded by sand anyway. We now seem to be at the top of this hill. There’s a man with a dog on the trail a little ahead; Melissa starts running after him, calling “sir!” I’m confused, but it’s because she watched him not clean up after his dog. She catches up and tells him this. He looks annoyed, maybe because it’s outside - though it is right on the trail - but goes to pick it up. It looks tiny through the bag. This path leads into a stairwell built into the hillside. There’s a little landing before, on which the dogs meet and don’t really do much with each other. (I’m not sure if this is part of the last dream or not). I’m in some two story house with Melissa. Stella is on the second floor and we can hear her barking at something. It sounds and feels like she’s directly above us.
I’m at work and walking from the direction of the second office to the front counter. I notice the regular Lance talking to the new Ethan at the computer closest to me. Lance must have asked if something is in; without even looking, Ethan tells him something like we haven’t gotten our shipment or he would’ve heard about it. This irritates me because I know it is here. I interject “meet me in the parking lot, Lance.” What I have for him is a simple looking black handgun. I slip it into my waistband (of my athletic shorts?) which is not sturdy, as it ends up in a few different places. I go between the two offices looking for the box of ammo that I know I have, but can’t find it anywhere. I end up walking out without it. Lance has been waiting right outside the door; I walk off to the side a bit with him, not sure how discreet this should be. He looks happy when I pull it out and hand it to him, handle first. We’re right outside of a truck full of unfamiliar people that he must know. I get into the truck, everyone in camo and similar outdoor gear, and it feels like we’re setting out for a trip. We are sitting on what feels like a water bed in the bed of the truck. We’re on a dirt road up in the hills and climbing some steep inclines. The one we’re on right now becomes almost vertical, but we drive right up and over it. I wonder what it’ll be like to come back down this. We’re parked now and I get out. This area looks like a small crater or bowl. The view is of the entire surrounding area and is impressive. I think we’re going to be spending the night here, which I am fine with.
There’s something about me driving to a bar or something similar to meet Alex. The place is kind of far and it seems late, but I think it’ll mean a lot to him because it’s the last time I’ll get to do something with him. There’s an image of the place in my mind - a bland exterior in what looks like a bland shopping center. Now, I’m with him and his mom in a house. Her hair is completely shaved on the sides and the top portion is pulled back in a tight ponytail. She’s holding something and Alex says it’s more than he brought to Maryland, implying that it’s a weapon.
I’m outside somewhere with Zoe and either her son or Jessica from work. Her car is here, with the back full of Blu-rays and DVDs. We are sorting them into fruit trays. I get going and then realize I haven't been checking the condition on the last few. Some are still wrapped and the ones I did check were in good condition, so I’m not really worried about it. Now, we are in the back of the car with the door open as Zoe starts driving. She accelerates far too quickly for this situation. Still speeding, she glances in the rearview with an expression almost of joy to see if we’re still holding on (which we are).
I’m with Jessica and Julia somewhere. A random man is bringing us to his house, I think for a party? I’m not sure how we found this man or vice versa, and I think there is a vague acceptance that this isn’t the safest thing to do. I think he is driving us there and we approach the place. The house is massive, on a huge stretch of land. We look at each other in awe. It’s dark out and the house is lit from the front and the ground, making it even more impressive. It looks more like the White House than an average house. Palatial is the best way to describe it; there is even a toroidal water feature in the front with a massive planter in the center. There are marble steps and the landscaping is immaculate. It also feels like we are fairly far away from anything else. Inside now, the place is completely empty. I think the man has also disappeared. I start exploring. Every room is impossibly clean, like a model. The floor plan is open, yet complex. It seems corners serve to divide space more than do walls. There are multiple floors and I keep ascending. There is one room with a tan couch against the wall and a small, old TV awkwardly in the corner. I imagine sitting on the couch and having to turn to see the TV. I notice that all of the TVs in this place are antiquated.
I am walking outside somewhere with Melissa. The area is a large gully and for some reason I think it’s between Reno and Carson. We’ve been on the upper edge of it, but I ask if she wants to walk along the bottom of it. There is a very faint trail down, though it almost looks too steep. I then change my mind, not remembering if it’s too overgrown at the end for us to get out. There is something about picking up Alex around 1. I think that should work fine; Melissa then mentions casually that it’s 1am, which changes things. Now, I’m driving in what looks like the same area (the highway through Washoe Valley?) and end up turning around. I also end up at Mom’s (I try not to care about turning around because I think I’ll be making another trip or so) and packing some things from my mostly full room, though I thought I had everything I needed.
I am driving somewhere and can currently see the GSR from the car, maybe a mile or two away. I notice that it is extremely tilted to one side (probably between 45° and 65°). Whoever I’m in the car with also notices and makes a comment. Now, almost impossibly slow, the building begins to fall in the direction it’s leaning. I hurry to take my phone out, but it’s already fallen before I can get a video. The building doesn’t appear to crumble but simply to fall over. Now, I almost think I was in the car with Melissa and her mom, but I am seeing them under the very top edge of the building. Somehow it fell on top of them leaving enough space to do no harm. (fragment) Melissa is driving me and her mom somewhere. She is taking an extended turn really fast. This is fine until her turning lapses for a moment and she is unable to correct it. She veers off the road and we come to a fairly violent stop in the dirt and sagebrush. It is a very tense moment.
26th December 2021 Scraps: Some dream like FL. No recall of details. Fragment: Something with JF. He looks like his character? He acts rashly and impatiently, aggressive at first but we end up talking and getting along a bit. This seems to take place at old home. Outside at night, in the cul-de-sac car park, I'm walking to dad's old Scenic? And then I try to clean it, but it's now H's van and I just have a small jam jar type of thing to dump soapy water with. Somebody comes over, telling me off. This guy is being territorial about me being here and I try to reassure him and try to leave/get away. Then, inside the car with JC from school. Going out of the cul-de-sac but then JF is at the bottom of the end of the road (doing what? also normal size) and sort of forces us to reverse. JC struggles reaching the pedals (he still appears to be his younger self?) and I have to press the clutch for him a few times. Now at home, I'm in the balcony area past my siblings' rooms. Something happens here with JF and some discussion. My gladius? He says he knows all about its "frequency" or something. Then, discussing something about someone who modelled a sword and who worked at Blizzard, but was lost. Lost marines? (What did I mean here?) 29th December 2021 Scraps: Something in DII, I have reserved mana (GD intrusion), and I also find myself having too little mana anyway, even though it's at a value near 900. I have spare stat points I spend on Energy. Act 1 area, in the moors?
16th October 2021 Fragment: Something involving myself in my reptilian form. (I had slightly raised awareness for a while but recall was lost.) Some kind of laboratory facility or complex? I recall some bit involving swimming and someone had invented some equipment that had nano forge vents that would absorb oxygen directly into the bloodstream, from the water. Some other part, travelling on a highway but in an odd place; sunny and mountainous/cliffy. There's an unfinished road on the return trip and I'd have to build the bridge somehow. Fragment: I'm at the old home, it's early morning and S needs walking. I want to, but can't find the things I need and get confused by a different layout of the light switches. (For brief moments I'd wake up and realise I was actually not at the dream location and that there was really no dog in need of a walk but then I'd drift back to sleep and the dream would continue on the same theme. H was there with me.) Then I'm at A somewhere near the mall. The layout is different and the buildings look different too. As I observe, I make conclusions about how I draw buildings based on the look of these buildings, near a threshold of awareness that's almost lucid. I remember carefully studying the outlines of the buildings. 18th October 2021 Recall faded for leaving it too long. Dream (fragmented): I'm in a town or city. It's very dark and night time, and I'm in a car or something with someone driving me, possibly H or family. Then I notice these empty buses being escorted into a residential suburban area. In the dream there's some pretext about overpopulation and some event to which people will be going to, the next day. I comment on this out loud, I think in a disappointed or judgmental way. (When I woke up, I thought about how this seemed like a preparation phase for a change in my personality. A lot of dream characters to move.) Earlier in the dream. I'm with H in the car and we're stopping somewhere. We're in a similar residential area with detached housing, it's daytime and overcast. Then we're in a house but it has a more office-like feel. There are two white men here, both older than either me or H. One is an electrician and the other someone relating to this place. We help with some issue, a rug trapped under a bit of carpeted floor. The office guy appreciates the help but doesn't quite like the result of what we've done even though the previous situation had caused him an injury. There's some kind of table nearby? A pool or cue table, maybe. Earlier again. Something in a city, outer view from above of a skyscraper which I'd previously seen in the dream, only head-on or at street level. The top view showed a weird outline, it had the shape of a Liberty star from FL but something else too. In the dream it made sense as to explain something about the building, when seen in a profile view. I was in some kind of complex before any of this. 19th October 2021 Fragment: Vague recall. I'm in our bedroom but in the dream context I'm not sure it feels that way. It's dark and maybe night time. I'm ordering food somehow? Getting fast food, I think someone recommended I get McDonald's. Dad is here at one point and we're talking, we're outside somewhere, again night time. I think the dream jumps between these two settings a few times. Notes: - In the 18th's dream, there had been transitions, but like many other dreams lately, when I come to writing recall down for dreams, the transitional periods between scenes often just fizzle away from memory and I know that in some cases the dreams were long and continuous.
5th September 2021 Fragment: (micro dream/daydream after having woken, slightly more aware than during regular dreaming but not lucid) Driving around in a learner car. Daytime, clear weather. I'm with a (white?) male driving instructor. Going around a countryside bit with some awareness of a river of sorts running alongside the curvy road I'm on, the view of the river is blocked by typical reeds. The driving instructor throws some litter out the window, looks like some kind of metal foil. I think this is so wasteful, so I make us stop off the road in the middle of a floodplain farm field, having cleared the more dangerous part of the road first. I get out and tell him to get out too (aggressively?) and I start heading for where the litter was thrown. Notes: - Though the instructor has a "teacher" role, he has bad habits and in fact ends up being the one who's bossed around by me. -- My attitude overall through the segment is one of confidence, not overly so, just enough to feel like I am doing the right things and not doubt myself too much. -- Notably I also wait to express my anger by first clearing any traffic and driving off a spot that's least dangerous despite doing so in a reckless/angry manner. This is some sign of self-control, something that I feel could be doing better, at the time of writing this entry now. - The dream location was very much like areas of my native home but with some mix of certain lakes near where I live now.
31st August 2021 Fragment: I'm with someone I know, maybe H. We're in a building and a dream character arrives and he's like a cousin of the other person or something. There's something going on but then this dream character, a white man in his forties, invites me to have a drink or dinner with him at a nearby place. I agree with some reluctance because I didn't want to get away from here but I'm also enthusiastic as I think about how he'll likely be paying for the meal too. A bit later, I'll supposedly drive myself to the place but my car isn't so much a car as it is a light frame with pedals. I also never manage to control it very well, especially the clutch and gear stick, which sticks up from the outer right side. (recall gap) Something about Arab cities and water. Implied desert region. There's a flowing water source that's important to the region and around which much is determined. There's a lot of insect life around and I feel bothered by it, but the locals don't? There are some scenes around this part that seem to mix different points of view, from above or far away. I have some perception of these cities being coastal and at the deltas of rivers.
Competition that turns into car hijack I'm spectating a competition were people from two different teams do different objectives. I walk around and look how they are doing their best outside. I walk into a shaft and see how people press a button as fast as they can. I person I know from Högstadiet asks me if I can help them. I don't do at first but later on I help them. It's a big hose, more than 1 dm in diameter. I press the black button on the hose as fast as I am able to and see how a liquid is starting to flow from the hose. I am filling a mini pool with the liquid and an instrument is mesuering how fast I am doing it. It goes up to a 5 and all the people around me are cheering. I do it even faster and I'm able to get it to 22 which makes it so that the team I helped won. I ask some people for their phone numbers and Max agrees that it is smart to do when you have won. Someone asks me if I have a driving license and I say I do. They are about to drive away with the car and I get a sudden impulse to drive it instead. This triggers lucidity. I think about how it is only a dream and jump in in the already full car on the driver's lap and start to drive with full gas. I notice that we are driving from the chapel's parking lot. No one is saying anything and I'm a little bit dissapointed because I excpected more action. This raises my lucidity because real people would never act like this. I notice how slow the car is going and I'm suddenly teleported to the back seat but I still have the gas pedal. I don't see anything in front of me and I tell the driver to raise the gear lever but she says that she won't. The dream is becoming darker and my whole body is starting to vibrate which wakes me up. Notes: I was really lucid there which made me surprised because I haven't tried to become lucid for a long time now. Flying in darkness and calling light. I'm in my room, climbing on the furniture that is almost falling. I'm on the top shelf, left to the door and look around me. I decide to go fly out the window instead. This triggers some lucidity. I'm flying slowly and notice that I'm at Sturkö and not in town anymore. I see how dark it is and scream out that "it will be light!", which makes me more lucid. I keep on flying and see a butterfly but it is weird. It's like a butterfly is taped on a gnome that walks back and forth but I can't see the gnome because it's too dark. I keep on flying and notice that I'm suddenly back where I started and there's finally light! I bright star is shining up everything. I fly over the same fields again and see that it wasn't a gnome but a bird with patterns on it back so that it looked like a butterfly in the dark. I'm in a big school. Mom is also there.
23rd June 2021 Fragment: I'm mining in a cave with H. It's a mix of MC and BL, I find a block of ruby ore and dig it out. Disappointed with finding only one piece, I dig some more of the surrounding area, maybe two or three block radius. I don't find any more ore of any kind but I've uncovered this old and damaged wooden door. It leads into a 2x2 (blockwise) space, also mostly in wood and more realistic. It's all dark stain but looks old like watermarked and scratched. There's another door opposite, it has cracks and through them and the bottom of the door blue-ish daylight comes through. I tell H to come or something and I open the door. Then on the other side I'm in a small hall I think. It's like many palaces like ones I've visited in my native country, in terms of style and so on. There's an arching double door made of wood, painted white, it has windows on the top half and the rest of the hall has several large latticed windows along the same wall. Through the double door is a covered courtyard, kind of, it's more like a square and covered landing at the top of some stairs and apart from some iron bars and the stone-like roof, it's open to the elements. This roof is low and not far from my head, if I had claustrophobia I'd probably consider it to be a claustrophobic space. I look around. This bit has a pattern-decorated tile floor, white and yellow? It's relatively high here, some four or five stories at a guess and below I see a much bigger courtyard with a road and some dried-up stone fountains. I also look upwards where I can. It's an overcast day I think and I see more of the palace building sections, understanding it to be a convoluted layout. In the dream, I'm excited and verbally share my excitement with H, I think implying that I'll be taking it over or something. (recall gap) Arriving at some prison in a car, a road curves around the bottom of a cliffside and it's relatively flat down here. There's a look of North American deserts to this cliffy area. I get out of the car and approach the prison entrance, there are some purple-clothed gangsters that seem to have come out of GTA:SA; I shoot their leader with an oversized desert eagle, the rest of them become agitated and I threaten them calmly not to try anything or they'll be next. I walk past them, past the prison entrance and to a bit on the side of this prison complex. There's a garage and a damaged car. Someone fixes up the car and I take it away, with someone else sitting at the back. Then I see myself driving it in third person and when I go too fast, this other person sitting at the back gets whipped out from the rear window but holds on. There's some interface showing me their health rapidly decreasing and as I slow down, it returns a little. I determine that I can only do short bursts of speed because he must survive. Police chase after us but I am not too concerned, more annoyed than anything, expecting to lose them soon. Notes: - Apart from the fact that I had watched a Star Trek episode last night involving a prison planet, I can't really figure out where the GTA sequence might have stemmed from. It was an extremely casual sequence where I was not exactly myself and was more just a character myself. - The palace matched all of my expectations for how that type of place would look, single pane glazing, somewhat old and not taken care of, in a certain style, etc. I have not been to any such palace or similar styled building in quite some time, years really. - We have recently been thinking about playing Minecraft again but we haven't made any decisions yet, especially since we want to use some mods. I have some longing for mining and building, which both that part and the part about the palace seem to relate to. - There was something in that recall gap but it seems to have evaporated. I can only vaguely recall some disjointed scenes.
I am walking up to a larger seeming store, apparently to return a bag of dog food. I notice that people entering and exiting through the foyer don’t have masks on, so I’m thinking it’s not something we have to worry about anymore. Still, I have a mask in my hand and/or pocket that I’m ready to put on. I can’t do it before I enter because of my carrying this large bag. Just a few steps into the foyer, a masked employee tells me to put on a mask. Now, I am further into the large, busy store. I’m at what looks like a hardware or even food counter and around the side of it is a place to return the bag. I walk over and set it down in front of the 2-3 indifferent male employees. Again, I don’t notice many masks. Now, I am leaving and Melissa is driving. We seem to be at the top of the hill. It is typical Nevada, yet there is something scenic about it. I think it may be that some greenery is starting to show. Melissa starts taking us the wrong way. I can see this on a map on my phone? There is a loop and had she gone the other direction we’d quickly be where we need to be, but she’s taken the long way that includes a few switchbacks. I think I mention this and it upsets her. I think this way ends up being very pretty. When we get back, I look at the map to see exactly where that was.
I'm in town with Max. Our car is by the street and I want to show Max how I drive. There is a weird keyhole in the middle of the car that I try to use but it is blocked by some kind of black stick. I go to the front instead and turn it on the usual way. I drive away and do some backing. Max seems impressed. A 25 year old girl takes the formula car behind mine and starts to drive down the street. That makes it easier for me to park later. I'm in the guest room downstairs naked. I have a pair of boxers that I hold in my right hand to cover myself as my friend walks in. He doesn't seem to be bothered that I'm naked but I feel uncomfortable and ask him to go out. He doesn't want to and I pull his arm behind his back so that he is bent a lot and he hurts. He says okay and leave me. I walk behind the door and dress myself. There is a book on the bed that I start to read. There are a lot of old pictures that I look on. They are so old that it looks as though they have used a sepia filter. There is a picture of a big ball, I thought. A closer inspection shows that it is a fat man's stomach. The next picture is of a doctor examining a woman and a man next to each other in profile.