Recent DJ Posts

I had a lucid dream the night before 10/2/2014. Two nights in a row! (I already posted the one from last night). I was sitting with a old lady and then I suddenly grew old. This happened before in a dream so I knew it was a dream. Suddenly there were many dogs running around me and one wanted to play with me and I was petting it, chasing away my fear of dogs. Then I saw my friend Cody and a weird huge cat, and I ran after her and the cat. Many cats were there and they were playing with each other. I heard someone say "Cats play with each other. Sometimes they hurt each other but they play with each other." Then, someone was teaching a kid martial arts so I tried to teach front stance. Then everyone started to do ballet we were in a large auditorium. I was following along doing arabesques and other leg raises and positions and I asked to stay in the dream longer and then i had a false awakening because I expected to wake up and then I woke up for real and wrote it down.

Before that dream I had a nightmare that a guy in a gang was attacking me and friends, and then a friend killed the attacker and then we were in a mental hospital and someone told him to tongue his pills and I said I would tongue them.

I woke up from a dream, looked around and saw that it was dark. I noticed two cats sitting close to me on my bed.
"I need a cup of dolphin blood," I said.
"Stick out your finger and a dolphin will appear," one of the cats replied.
"I know that," I thought. I stuck out my finger behind my back. I felt the dolphins beak and turned around. It was right in my face. "I need a cup of dolphin blood," I said.
"Okay! Follow me!" the dolphin said in an upbeat, squeaky voice. It went into one of the other bedrooms and came out a couple of seconds later holding a big 24 ounce glass of dolphin blood which the dolphin gave me. It looked convincing enough, a little bit frothy and viscous and I could see blood sticking on the empty part of the glass. I quickly took a couple of big gulps. I was disappointed to find it didn't taste anything but I did get a strange sensation that I was starting to transform into a dolphin like I had hoped. I woke up, probably from my excitement.

I had a false awakening followed by a DILD. In my false awakening, my wife was trying to wake me up. She was very happy about something, but I was too tired listen or understand. I looked at the clock and it said it was 6:30 Am, and my alarm wasn’t supposed to go off until 7:00 Am. I told her I need to sleep for another half hour. I rolled over and went back to sleep. Little did I know this was a false awakening. I fell back to sleep with the intention of trying to have a Lucid dream about my daughter. I found myself immediately in a dream, but I wasn’t Lucid yet. I was walking down a wooded path in my home town, feeling sad and blue about my daughter, who I miss so much. There was a 7 Eleven parking lot, coming up right beside the trail, in the clearing. I was only in my shorts, and I had a blanket from my bed. I figured I better wrap myself up in the blanket or I’ll get arrested for indecent exposure. I looked behind me really quick to see if there was anybody else around, because I was feeling a little exposed with my lack of clothes. Walking right behind me was my dream guide, or whatever you call him or her. He or she quickly disappeared and avoided me, as usual. I knew instantly I was dreaming. I’m Lucid! I looked at the ground and saw strange geometric object lying on the path. It reminded me of the Lucid dreams I use to have as a kid, and all the crazy stupid things I would do when I was Lucid. I then thought about my daughter again, and headed off down the path alongside the 7 Eleven parking lot, and I was tearing. Just then my daughter appeared in the parking lot, in all the beauty that she is, and then she walked up right beside me, put her arm around me, and pulled me in close. We walked together down the path past the 7 Eleven. I leaned over and kissed her on the head, and thanked her for coming for a visit. She started to clown around to lighten the mode, being the fantastic, humorous personality she is, and I quickly cheered up! It was so good to hear her voice and giggle again. The Lucid dream started to fade. I was getting too excited. I swirled frantically, but I woke up. I looked at my real alarm clock and the time was 6:20 Am. Thanks Sweetie!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #243: Silent Lucidity

I’m hanging out with Dreamer in a carpeted den and we’re talking excitedly about how a group of us (Dreamer, Jenkees, anotherdreamer, and I) made audio recordings that make us sound like complete idiots. (This is a true waking life memory! I recorded myself using a special audio trick that Dreamer found which made me sound like a complete idiot. The others made their recordings overnight and Dreamer skyped me about this during WBTB.)

Nearby there’s a statue of a tall, naked, muscular woman striding forward while extending her arm toward the sky. The woman is wearing a basket across her lower back and there are three towel-like bundles in the basket. Dreamer tells me that these bundles are the “idiot” voice recordings and that they’ll be ready soon. Dreamer and I lay on the carpeted floor maybe ten feet apart, facing each other and propped up on an elbow. We talk for a while about various things, mostly related to dreaming. I consider the idea that I’m dreaming right now and yes, this is a dream!

I tell Dreamer that all of this is a dream and she smiles, calmly agreeing. We talk a little about the voice recordings, and then I tell her that I can’t remember my goals right now, but I’m content to just chat for a while. She asks me why I’m not wearing my SleepPhones to bed and I tell her that those are fleece and it still doesn’t feel cold enough. I tell her, “And you only know about the SleepPhones because this is a dream!” (Meaning that she knows I'm not wearing them.) She laughs.

I remember that I had a goal of facing a fear. Dreamer and I had recently discussed how we’re both very fearful about awkward silences with friends. I allow the conversation to pause. Dreamer seems to understand what I’m doing and her eyes flick once nervously to the left before locking back on to mine for good. I feel a sharp flutter of panic at first and I’m tempted to blah-blah-blah the moment away, but I resist it and maintain our eye contact. My hands knead the carpet to help keep the dream stable. After I’m past the initial fear, my mantra “Look for the dream” returns to me. Dreamer’s mouth turns up in a half smile as my fear gives way to calm.

After a while, I say, “[Jenkees] must be here, right? I really want to meet him!” Dreamer grins at this idea and agrees. We both stand up and I gesture toward the adjacent hallway, saying, “Ah look, [Jenkees] is even here right now!” A rather doughy, pasty guy who looks nothing like Jenkees walks through the door and joins us in the den.

I notice that he’s way too short. “[Jenkees], you’re supposed to be so much taller than this!” The guy smiles sheepishly and starts shrinking even more until he’s only waist height.

Dreamer and I laugh at how badly I’ve botched this summon. “Sorry, [Jenkees],” I say. “I’ll do better with this next time!”

Dreamer and I try to talk a bit more about dream goals, but it isn’t long before the dream ends.

Morning of October 3, 2014. Friday.



I am living in a very large castle that, in some ways, is somewhat like the inside of a modern shopping mall in layout, though also has features of a boarding house (though more expansive). I am not sure of my place in this gated society. I walk around the environment without incident for a time. Assuming the orientation is relative to my present home’s (though there is no technical reason why it should be) it is longer from west to east and with a wide hall (west assumed to be the front though I am not outside of that area).

There seems to be the memory of a girl in my care. She is eleven years old and with dark hair and green eyes and is seemingly a young version of my wife (even though I seem more of a step father here). I become aware of this when she is ready to leave in a car (on the east end) to go to a party with several other people. This seems to be some sort of party representing finality of something (such as the last day of a school year). She is wearing an elaborate light blue gown. There are at least two well-known celebrities in the car who I think are female pop stars though there are males as well. I have concern for her safety and tell her to get out of the car and to come back into the castle. This concern is based on awareness of mainstream pop culture (and my total dislike of it) and “knowing” that drugs or alcohol may be freely available at the other location (though later, the location actually seems to be another part of the same castle - unless they visited elsewhere before coming to a different area of the castle to party).

At first she seems slightly confused and a bit annoyed, but becomes more “stable” as well as passive in my decision. From here, I go around “telling people off” about their attempt to destroy the child’s soul and natural (or instinctive) self-governance regarding right and wrong (also relative to possibly latent divine abilities such as healing and precognition). Although I take full control at this point, I am not lucid in any way.

One of the people I “tell off” about the event seems to be her birth mother (though I do not recognize her - though I do say her name which I have forgotten, though I think it may be Gretchen), who is being kept in a holding cell (unsure of the crime she is there for) that is not that secure and with at least three other females around her age lounging about on the floor. It is very similar to a low-fenced rectangular area where people pay a small fee to feed smaller animals during some expos and it is out from the middle of one wall in a much larger room. A bit of hay is on the floor for bedding. She seems angry that I have done this but I am not impressed at all by her supposed reasoning which seems shared by many - “fun at all costs” and subjecting oneself to endless passive entertainment like a slow death. I ask her if she is okay and she makes a remark about two male drunks having disturbed her sleep the previous evening by yelling randomly around 3 am when walking down the street (from the southeast). It does not concern me as they were not a threat to the security of the castle (or gated city) at any point.

Over time, I begin to single out and eliminate the people associated with pop culture or erroneous beliefs (not through any type of violence but by spurring the castle’s seemingly ruling “public” into proper action and the removal of the offenders). A few people deny the charges and hide in their quarters for the duration but I know they will be gone soon, which means all undesirable music of particular defeatist phrasing types will no longer be extant in the entire region.

In a northeast section of the castle I use some sort of advanced testing equipment in the location where the party had taken place. It is some sort of powder with fluid-like properties (depending on what it falls on) made up of nanomachines. When most of the target is covered it creates a virtual monitor on all the surfaces with a report of the findings (down to the molecular structure). I try it on the stove they were to use at the party and all the sides then have many flashing instances of the word “warning” in red, white, and black; equidistant columns and rows by about three inches or so over the appliance. There is also a sort of buzzing alarm-like sound from somewhere (apparently a temporary virtual speaker formed by the nanomachines). The warning relates to both an illicit drug having been in contact with the oven as well as a poisonous chemical (associated with oven cleaner). This is only some of the evidence I will be gathering to oust all those I do not favor. I will be able to go over the whole castle and “recreate” it accordingly. “Invisible” (microscopic) nanomachines that clean or refurbish features of the in-dream environment (only the man-made ones) have been occurring more and more in my dreams since the beginning of the year. However, they serve a very similar function of where in-dream “magic” or mental focus have been used in the past.

Near the ending, the girl thanks me for my interest in her survival and development and speaks and acts with sincere and devoting mien and is now solely a faithful obsequious ally, it seems.

I am also considering if this is a “healing power” to “healing powder” transference (concerning ambiguity of my dream self’s faux memory) in recent dream trends due to liminal accidental “dream universe rewiring” in long-term meditation (due to the audio similarity of “power” and “powder” - as the nanomachines maintain a powder form with additional fluid or mist properties for the most part).

Aspects of this very loosely seem influenced by episode #01.03 and #01.04 of “Survivors” (2010), seen the night before. However, this general theme has been recurring since earliest memory in various ways.

Dream - Lucid

I was outside somewhere in a parking lot. I noticed a car with lots of little signs propped up on the hood that said things like "Blow me!" and other similar statements. Upon further examination, I noticed it was an anti-rape thing that people did. It was like you'd put all these vulgar statements about oral sex on your car while it was parked, and it was supposed to be an anti-rape thing.

The things were then on my car, though in the dream, I had a mini-van or an SUV, not the car I currently have IWL. Dallas didn't like it at all. It made him mad. At one point, I believe he was taking the signs off the car.

Then, we were inside a mall. There was a table that had all the signs on it. For some reason, I went to go pick the signs off, and noticed there was a necklace at each place. I started to pick up all the necklaces. Some were gold, some silver. I particularly liked one with a large elephant pendant on it, but I knew it would be way too long on me. I then noticed that the table was set for a dinner that was going to take place that had something to do with the anti-rape thing. The necklaces were gifts. I started trying to put all the necklaces back.

~

I was at Disney World at Hollywood Studios, though it didn't look like it at all. I was with my mom. We were walking when I looked behind us and saw that The Tower of Terror was collapsing! I also saw other tall buildings collapsing. I thought maybe it was a tornado. I then saw one off the the right destroying more buildings. At this point, I started to question where we were. Was it Disney? It must be. My mom and I started to run the other direction, and I was thinking to myself that you probably shouldn't try to outrun a tornado. We then came across some tall grass and somehow figured that was the best place to go.

I then was walking towards the ruined Tower of Terror, thinking about how many people had died in the tornado, when I figured out I was dreaming. I did some finger counts, and only came up with 6 once. The rest of the times I came up with 5. I also noticed that my nails were painted. I then tried to stick my finger through my palm, and it went through.

I knew I didn't have much time left for this dream, so I decided to fly a little. I was right next to the ruined Tower. I was jumping, trying to get into the air. I then remembered to just let myself float, and it worked. I floated effortlessly into the air. I didn't go very high, but I wasn't trying to. I did let myself float a tad higher, and would start slowly sinking down again, so I'd have to do the floating thing again to gain my height back. I floated into the ruins of the tower; it was literally just the base that was left and nothing more, not even a ton of rubble or anything.

I then couldn't think of what else to do. I decided to talk to my mom, whom I suppose was nearby somewhere, though I didn't see her. I said
"Hey, you know I'm lucid dreaming, right?"
She said
"Yes, but only for like 5 more minutes!"
"Less than that!" I said back.

Nothing else exciting happened. A few minutes later, I woke up.

~

I was walking through a mall, looking for a particular clothing store. I walking through this laser tag place where kids were running around. One little boy was trying to shoot me. I don't even have a vest on, I thought to myself. I then walked out of it and back into the mall. I was at a dead end. I felt as if this is where the store should be, but it was the same stores that I had already passed. I felt silly for going in circles.

~

I was at the bakery. Barry, an older man who works there, was in the freezer getting something. I was standing in there as well in front of the open door. I was messing with my phone and just plain zoning out. I then walked out of the freezer and Barry followed. He was carrying a box. Had he needed to get out of there this whole time? I then wondered how long I had been standing there. He hadn't said anything to me about moving, though.

I then was in a room that doesn't exist IWL. It was dark in the room, but only the colors of everything around me; there was enough lighting in there. There was a chair in the middle of the room. On it, there was a box of what looked like donut holes. It should have been in the freezer. I picked it up, and it was room temp. Wow, it had been out for awhile! I went up to Barry to ask him if I should put them back or what he was doing with them. He told me he was going to eat them. When he said this, along his bottom teeth, I could see this whitish cream that I could only assume was the filling of the donut holes.

Shannon, my manager, was then there talking to someone, telling a story, but then she switched her attention to telling the story to me. I couldn't really hear her or understand what she was saying, but she was smiling, so I assumed it was a funny story. She then pulled her phone out to show me something on there. I wasn't sure whether I should just go with it, or tell her that I couldn't hear her.

I then was out in front of the counter. There were these velvet line dividers up like you see at the movie theater that were leading up to the bakery. These two teenage/early 20s guys came up and were asking me something about getting hired, but I couldn't understand them either. I said
"I'm sorry, what? I can't hear very well."
They smiled, and I then quickly added,
"But you don't have to yell." to make sure they weren't going to start talking too loud. My hearing isn't THAT bad.
They started to speak again, and I still couldn't understand a word they were saying, though I could hear them. I just felt so zoned out. So, logically, to escape the situation, I just fell onto the floor, knowing that it would actually work and I would be somewhere else. I somehow had an inkling that this wasn't reality, but I wouldn't say I was lucid.

I then woke up.

Black is Non Lucid.
Blue is Lucid.

Lucidity: 2/5
Vividness: 3/5
Length: Very Short

I was trying to get to my friend's house that was down a highway. We were going as fast as we could, all the while dozens of other cars were doing the same. There was a little kid on a tiny bike going down the highway, in the middle of it all. He had to keep stopping and going again, since he fell and fell off his bike. I feared for him that he'd get hurt, and he did. My friend found the boy's bike, it was nothing more than a piece of metal now, and then they found the boy. He had a black ash all over his body, like an overcooked piece of bread. I told them to leave it, they said no, so he came with us.

When we reached this place that looked devilish because of all the dead animals around, I became lucid. The area was very dark, like something you'd see in Berserk. I jumped down off this ledge and then flew by willing it, mostly, up to this pillar of dead animal's heads. There was a bull's head staring at me with big eyes, and a crow with a very long orange yellow beak. I grabbed the head of the crow, willing it's beak to open. When it did, I feared it would bite me, but it didn't. I then put the bird's beak to a tree next to me and willed it to cut the tree in half. It didn't, so I closed my eyes (big mistake) and when imagined the tree getting cut in two. When I opened my eyes, the tree wasn't cut. My vision became black and I couldn't see anything, so I lost lucidity.

Then, there were these re spawns I had, I re spawned as the baby once, asking my friends to put a blanket over me so I could talk to my friend without creeping her out. Then I was in a space ship, still trying to find my friend. I was in my room on the floor doing something on the computer. Someone came into my room who I've never seen before, a nerdy looking girl. She was grateful to meet me, but I asked her to step outside so I could get dressed since I was in my underwear and t-shirt only. I got dressed and came out, we said a few things and then I left. I went in search of my friend again, this time going to the school. One of my brother's friends brought me there, it took a while. I found out that he wanted to talk to my friend Jake, who didn't go to this school, so we had to go back on the highway. We made it to my friends house, she was fine, she talked to me and everything, as usual. We were in a mall buying food and talking about how bad some of it was for you.

10.3.14

Last night bed 11pm - 5:45am

I'm watching a fingernail on my right big toe move a little bit. Then it's pulled down. I grab it and pull it back up. This goes on for a while. I grab some scisors and a flashlight and ran to the bathroom with intent to stab whatever is in my toe. The light in there is very low so I think I wont't be able to see. But as I lean over, I get a great view on the inside of my toe visible through the tiny gap between a toenail and the toe. I see a tiny portion of a skinny, silvery, shiny body with tiny scales. I think it's some kind of a lizard, maybe a basilisk.

I decide it's too big for me to just kill it by myself. I go to a doctor. He is concerned if I'll be able to pay. I say sure, how much. He asks for a $1000. I agree, but when he mixes up some tincture and tries to drop few drops on the lizard, I say hell no. I don't want him to just anger the lizard, I want him to kill it. Fast. Like on first try, coz if I feel him move inside, well I don't want that.

So I go and find another doctor. I'm in a hospital bed waiting for a procedure. People are deciding who should go and visit me, coz I visited them in hospital as well. I just want the damn thing out.

I am having some dream where I was visiting this town in central America. But it feels like I am just in my own subdivision. The town has this tradition that once a year they get all this pita bread and lay it out on the floor in this huge room in a school. They then cover it in cheese and taco meat. They then (somehow) heat the pita bread so that the cheese melts holding it together. They then add lettuce and some kind of tomato sauce or hot sauce. Then they fold it up into this giant pita and cut peices out of it like a cake.
I think I was visiting the town for a project in college, and I wanted to learn more about their culture. So I was helping them lay out pieces of bread and put cheese on them.
As part of my research, I had found out what this event was called. The name of this event translates from the language of the natives (It might have been Spanish, I don't remember) into 'Celebration of the Stomach'. And the idea behind the festival was not making the giant pita, but rather trying to see who could eat the most of it. The man who cut the slices for everybody was trained to make every slice exactly the same size, and there was a competitive eating aspect to this celebration.
At one point, I recognized the total absurdity of the situation and became partially lucid. I thought about reality checking to confirm if it was a dream or manifesting my dream guide. I woke up a few moments later.

1. I was outside of school in the B parking lot, and it was dark outside. The parking lot was heavily crowded with people and it was as though a concert was about to begin. I was standing with my friends Patrick, Dylan, and Trey next to a red car that was parked. We talked for a bit and while we did, my foot actually slipped and slammed into the side door of the red car. Moments later Patrick ended up hitting the car harder than I did, and this made the car alarm go off.
I thought that I had made the car alarm go off, and Patrick just touched the car at the exact time that it went off, but I wasn't sure. Immediately as the car alarm went off, we all started running away from the car. Everyone in the parking lot ran away from it as well. I remember running past a huge yellow storage truck. Everyone ended up running into the A parking lot- the closest one to the school. As I made it over here I got detached from my friends and ended up talking to some random black dude. He invited me to go somewhere, more specifically he wanted me to follow him I think.
I then remember being in a big grassy field, and behind me I could see a huge concert stage with all the lights and everything. I think we ended up riding bikes around or something.

2. I was at a gas station at night time, and I remember stealing something. The police made a huge deal out of it and ended up searching for the criminal, and they didn't know it was me. Later on I went to my house and went up into my room, it was still nighttime. A police officer came into my house and asked a few questions to my parents and searched the house for evidence. My name was brought up and I remember thinking, "Nah, they'll never know it was me", and remaining completely relaxed.
My sister came upstairs later and I talked to her for a little bit.

1. I was in a car driving it and it started to flip over and go into the air. I was terrified. The car started to crunch around my body. I woke up.

2. I dreamt that me and Peter and Jenny (my brother and sister) were secretly cultivating and taking care of a Mimosa Hostillis Root bark plant and Peter put a leaf of it under my eye and it stung my skin.. I cut off some leaves and hid it under some clothing. Then I craved water. (I don't remember that part but I wrote it down). I thought Peter knew how to extract DMT from Mimosa Hostillis Root bark. I saw Justin in Jenny's old room in the house my family lost, cuddling with a younger boy that might have been one of the students from my martial arts school. This was a dream within a dream I had a false awakening and told my mom (in the dream) about Peter knowing how to make DMT. I looked for the plant cuttings from the original dream and then I woke up for real.

I dreamt I was writing down my lucid dream, and then I woke up and wrote it down.
I was at a mall, and I was scared because I didn't know where I was, until I realized it was a dream. Before that, I was arguing with my mom about wanting to cook something, but she didn't want me to make a mess, and a man was talking to me about Jesus Christ. Then the man left, and I realized I didn't know where I was or how I got there, so I realized it was a dream. I went down an escalator. There were free energy drinks and I thought about drinking them but then I rejected them because I looked at the ingredients in one of them and they were strange chemicals that I didn't want to be in my body.

Then I saw people doing capoeira and I walked to them and I was suddenly wearing white and I did capoeira with a young boy/young man. They weren't people I recognized but I told them that I used to do capoeira 3 years ago. Then I wanted to look for DMT.

Then I saw a clothing store and wanted clothing. So I walked up a down escalator to strengthen my legs. I saw my friend Kirstin and talked to her and then I saw my friend and singing teacher Polly and her daughter Emma and she asked me to buy something for her when I told her I was going shopping. I prayed that the dream would be longer and that I wouldn't wake up yet. I walked into the store and I saw a pink bisquit and I really wanted to eat it because it would have 0 calories and I would taste it but it was only a dream so it wouldn't give me any real calories. I started spinning in the air and moving forward flying and I enjoyed spinning and flying. Then I woke up.

In the dream I was going to steal, and when I woke up for real after the false wake up where I reflected on the dream and wrote it down, I realized I shouldn't steal in a dream. But in the dream, there was no concept of money at all, like it was in the beginning of my life when my mom was stealing clothing for me and I was twelve and it was normal to me and I just thought the clothes were free. In the dream, everything was free.

New goal: eat desserts in dreams and taste it and not get the calories.

Ritual: WTB 1am, woke 4:45am. Read, drank spice lassi, 7 minutes SSILD meditation, WBTB 6am. Relaxation, counting, mantra, took probably 30–45 minutes to fall fully asleep. Woke 7:30am with dreams.

Alchemy: 400mg L-Theanine, 400mg Alpha-GPC 50%, 750mg Aniracetam, taken at end of WBTB.

Notes: Two days ago I was buying ice cream in RL, and it occurred to me that I should use this as a motivator. "You can't eat any of this ice cream until you have a lucid dream!" I told myself sternly. Then last night I was thinking of eating something else for dessert, and I decided to be even more strict: "In fact, no dessert for you at all until you get lucid!" Given everything else that went into my attempt, including excitement about the brand new TOTMs, I can't estimate to what extent this reward-based strategy was a factor in the successful outcome, but it's worth experimenting with some more. Either I'll have more LDs or I'll eat fewer sweets, so it's a win-win either way!

I've been working on my mantra, and I'm currently going with variants of "Do we perceive the dream?" When going to sleep while counting I was thinking this on the off-counts, and as the hypnagogic state started to set in, at one point I noticed myself thinking: "Do we believe the skies?" ("Skies" as in the sporting equipment, so the rhyme was preserved.) This was so absurd I had to rouse myself and write it on my notepad!

By the time I started dreaming, it seemed as though there was a degree of dream-awareness from the start of the sequence, but I don't think it blossomed into full lucidity (with agency) until I remembered my tasks. There was no specific "moment of realization," and yet overall the dream felt much more like a DILD than a WILD, so I'm calling it a DILD.

DILD: I was standing in a narrow lane, enclosed on both sides by walls and buildings, in a residential area. A woman came out from a nearby house and walked past me, carrying a cat. Two other cats were running after her anxiously, so although their size suggested that they were almost fully grown, I intuited that the they must be the kittens of the cat she was carrying. The cat in her arms had wonderful markings, almost like tiger stripes. One of the ones that followed had a similar coat, a cross between tiger stripes and a Bengal's spots. A few minutes later a third cat came along, also striped.

I was so taken with looking at the cats that I didn't want to get too far behind, so I followed them and called the young boys that were with me to keep up. One of them was pushing an empty wheelbarrow but soon left off and went to chase after his friend, who had now gone ahead of me. I picked up the wheelbarrow and pushed it along for awhile, but it was of very primitive construction, all wood, even the wheel was just a disk of solid wood, so it was cumbersome. I wondered why I even needed it. I had noticed that one of the other boys who had gone ahead was giving his friend a ride in another wheelbarrow, and figured if I kept pushing mine, one of the boys would likewise ask me if they could ride in it, which would make it even more cumbersome. So I put it down and continued along the path.

There was a barn to the left, with an open door, and I decided to turn aside and explore it. This meant there would be no way of catching up with the others, but I didn't feel much urgency to do that anymore. The barn was full of old objects, and seemed to be used as storage of some kind. I remembered the TOTM and reasoned that in a rustic place like this it should be easy to find a pumpkin, so I started looking around for one. I climbed a ladder to a ledge which was serving as a shelf for additional objects, and was pleased to find that one of them was a large pumpkin. Everything else was covered with dust, which made me wonder how long the pumpkin had been sitting here. It was probably this concern that made me notice that the pumpkin was looking a bit sagging and rotten, but I recalled that the TOTM instructions didn't specify anything about the condition of the pumpkin, so I figured that it would still work!

Before I could reach for it, I noticed that it wasn't the only pumpkin: now I saw that there were three more on the shelf within arm's reach, all of them of slightly different hues and shapes. I was glad there was an alternative to reaching into the rotten pumpkin, so I grabbed the one whose appearance I found the most interesting: it was small, squat, and had a faintly bluish tinge. I figured I would start with this one, and if I didn't like the results, I had three more to work with.

Part of me wanted to just punch my fist into the pumpkin, which would have been faster but less elegant, so I forced myself to take my time and cut it open properly. I produced a knife from somewhere, without really thinking about it, and began sawing a circle around the stem, just as if I were going to begin carving a jack-o-lantern. When I completed the circle I lifted up the top section, revealing the interior of the pumpkin, and reached inside. The pumpkin was small enough that my hand barely fit, and I was groping around in the stringy goop and slimy seeds trying to find something else in there, hoping to encounter something interesting and unanticipated. All I felt were the pumpkin's ordinary innards, though.

Initially I had left my anticipations open-ended, but now that the dream was coming up empty-handed I tried to seed them with some expectations. Although it was a small pumpkin, there would be plenty of room for a ring. Might there be a ring inside? I squished all the pumpkin innards around in my hand to make sure I wasn't missing anything, but there was nothing there, nothing that wouldn't ordinarily be found in a pumpkin. The only distinguishing feature was that the stringy goop and slimy seeds, despite their very naturalistic texture, had the same bluish tinge as the pumpkin's skin. (I think this might have been day-residue, as last night I had been reading an Amazon review of a set of mala beads beads made in China that complained how the wood had soon developed a weird bluish cast.)

At that point I decided to give up on the little blue pumpkin and get started on the other three, but inconveniently I woke up. I considered getting up and writing my report, but felt that I was still in a state where it would be possible to DEILD, so I fixed the previous events in mind and let myself drift back into dream.

DEILD: This time I found myself in a place I recognized: it was the house of my maternal grandmother that I often visited as a young kid. It is a place that often shows up in my dreams. On this occasion, the theme of "blue" seemed to carry over from the last dream, as I noticed that the house now had a beautiful deep blue carpet that looked brand new. "Nice new carpet!" I said loudly, in case anyone was home. My grandmother is long dead but in waking life my uncle lives there now. In the dream, however, the house seemed quiet and empty, and no one responded to my complement.

I felt very lucid and clear, more so than in the beginning of the last dream, and remembered my standing intention to reflect on my bodily awareness. Sure enough, I could feel the characteristic tingles in my abdomen and especially in my legs that I associate with dreaming. (My hypothesis is that this "tingling" is a product of REM atonia.) I also associate this sensation with the ability to fly in dreams, so I experimentally levitated a bit, and then tried to implant the mental suggestion to be more aware of this body state while dreaming, with the aim of getting lucid more often.

Returning my attention to the environment, I wondered what task I could try next. I had been interested in the other basic task, drinking blood, but I didn't want to have to go all vampire on anyone who I might happen to encounter in this house, given that this was a place where my own relatives lived. "Perhaps if I look in the refrigerator, there'll be a cup of blood in there," I figured. It seemed a reasonable speculation, but after opening the fridge (which at the time I didn't notice was on the opposite side of the room than it is in RL), I didn't see any likely candidates. What would a cup of blood even look like? And would it still count for the task if it came from the fridge? The instructions didn't specify a source. But the idea of drinking a cup of refrigerated blood was not appealing to me, so I thought I should save this task for a more suitable occasion. I much preferred the idea of drinking it vampire-style, especially if I could get the bonus by drinking it from a supernatural creature.

Closing the fridge, I wondered what other tasks might be suitable for this environment. I remembered my lucid dare, and that struck me as a perfect idea: when I was little I always used to walk and play in the forest behind this house, so it was the perfect "enchanted" forest in which to go looking for elves. I continued walking through the house and went out the back door.

The world that greeted me once I stepped outside was startling in its freshness. The colors were deep and rich and luminous, more so than I usually see in dreams, and I was struck by the beauty of my surroundings. There were some distinct differences from RL: in the far distance I could residential areas covered in mist, as though I were looking at a town from the summit of a tall hill. The forest I hoped to find was present, but quite a bit further away than I would have expected. And walking across the grass of the wide lawn that lay before the forest was... a minotaur? I looked again. No, not quite a minotaur... it had the same general lineaments, but the head was that of a horse rather than a bull. Nevertheless, the creature was clearly supernatural, and it reminded me of the blood task again. I didn't want to miss this opportunity, since it was walking right toward me, so I approached the creature.

I didn't want to just grab the monster and start biting him, since he would surely conclude that I was attacking him and fight back, which could be counter-productive. So I went up to him and asked politely, "Sir, would you mind if I drank some of your blood? I only need a cup." He was at least seven feet tall and surely had plenty of blood to spare, so I didn't see any reason he should refuse. To my consternation, he seemed unsettled by my request and tried to demur. But I didn't want to pass up this opportunity, and figured that I had already met the demands of good sportsmanship by clarifying my intentions, so I grabbed his left arm (I was facing him, so it was the arm to my right), extended my fangs, bit him right in the crook of his elbow, and began to drink. Although he was tense and rigid, he didn't fight back, and I concluded that he must be experiencing that peculiar pleasure that the prey of vampires are often said to feel while being fed upon.

I paused to look up, gauging the creature's reaction, and was surprised to see that his appearance had changed. His head was thrown back, his eyes closed, but it was the head of an ordinary man now, no longer that of a horse. The task was to drink from a supernatural creature and see how it changed me, but it turned out he was the one that was transforming! I returned to drinking his blood before he could recover his wits and fight me off. However, the blood wasn't coming very quickly. Either I had picked a bad spot where the blood couldn't flow freely or he was still resisting me in some way, perhaps stifling its flow through the tension in his arm, which was still very stiff. I woke up before I had finished drinking, and promptly concluded that I didn't think I hadn't drunk a whole cup's worth, if we're measuring technically by eight ounces. However, it turns out that it is hard to estimate the quantity of blood you're drinking when you're getting it right from someone's arm!

10.2.14

Wow, long time no entry coz no recall.

Afternoon nap 17 - 19:20

It was all nonlucid but very detailed.

Spoiler for not that explicit, but still:

So I was in a bed with a guy. We didn't know each other, so I'm asking him what he likes, and at the same time realizing I should not be asking, just doing. So I take my pants off, very vivid images of that, then the top, and my necklace is getting tangled in my hair. Then we are in bed again. Then it's time to take rest of it off. So I get up and get nude. All this time we are working on each other.

I don't recall much of the dream because I didn't write it down in the morning. All I remember is being in a house and talking to someone, maybe my mom.We were going to go shopping at a store like JC Penny I think with some other people.But out of no where a boy stopped us from going there and asked another person a question. He asked this question"If someone had a baby with their lover and went away for two or one year, but left their love in them, is it wrong?"The other person said no and he was relieved to find someone who agreed with him.Than I woke up.