Got lucid, went outside. It was overcast, cold and raining so I sit on my porch in a half-lotus position and attempt to meditate like I intended. It felt weird. The dream didn't get any more vivid. In any case, the lucid part of the dream ended after like 30 seconds and it was non-lucid randomness about being a japanese salaryman from there.
I had a dream last night where I was leaving J's house and said the word hell, which i'm sure is allowed at his house. Nonetheless, I heard his mom say "did he just say HELL?" and then his entire family want insane towards each other. After that, J came to me to devise a plan to get her to calm down. A bit overkill, but I agreed to the plan. The plan involved giving her medication that makes her forget a set amount of time. This worked, and after a few seconds of the treatment, she said something like "where am I?" Overall, the plan worked, but it was DEFINITELY overkill.
I am going over DJ entries from the end of september last year. Then I will be able to have them more neatly formatted. It was really interesting to look back on these and I look forward to going over others. September 28, 2017 to September 29, 2017, Dream Recall. The night began by us losing a dream by laying down too long. We wrote that we need to get up and write the dream down as soon as we become awake. Then, I D K, I know it is hard, because you need sleep, too. Next dream. A guy who drank liquor and then would hypnotize people and eat them. But then he lived with people who helped him stop, like an old people's resort. Is there anything else you remember? That was a good one. No, not really. Oh, wait... Well, just some Pokemon card type of scenario. Oh well. Maybe next time. Okay, Inner Child. Thanks! Z Z Z... Next dream. I was lucid and flying around making moves on the ladies but then didn't. I decided not to make moves on the ladies in L D world. So, I kept flying around, seeing girls but I was just letting them be. There was a girl by a window. I was looking around there for my tan couch cushion I use as a pillow. She seemed to feel like she was in my way. I told her, no, you don't have to move. Next dream. I was on a wobbly dock near W H Beach. The dock was slippery and wobbly. There was something with Jay's voice playing, from the noon meeting. My two couch pillows and the blue raft were floating away or blowing away. The water was choppy, and it was windy. I felt scared. "Why did I go on this dock?" I thought. I kept thinking I want to save those pillows, because there are no other pillows like them. But I was afraid if I reached in for them, my phone might fall in the water. So I sort of watched them float away. I thought perhaps I really have four of those pillows, and the other two were still at home. In waking life, I only have two. My blue blow up raft was stuck in a silver hand rail, between that and something else. But it was slowly slipping and blowing away. I couldn't save any of it. I tasted salt water at one point. I am not sure why, but I climbed up this white ladder type of thing. It was made of white beach chair material. Then, I couldn't get down. I am sure there is some symbolism in this dream. The emotions had to do with loss. Next dream. I was near the kitchen sink at my current house listening to a Young Jeezy rap. It was about stopping the crack game. I had a sad realization about it. Like that the rappers caused lots of people to be addicted to crack in the first place. Now they were making money off motivating people to quit. Not sure if this pertains to what is going on in the physical world. Next dream. There was a dream I had about some friends from college. We were sitting in a circle. I was in a blue blanket. Next dream. A man came into my room, telling me about a web site he had made with his son. I was letting him use my computer to work on the web site, but expected him to be quiet. When he kept going on and on, I felt angry. I was trying to dream journal. He kept trying to talk to me and I angrily yelled, "GET OUT!" . As he left, he slammed the door behind him. I felt bad because my Dad was in the house and would either be woken up or disturbed by the commotion. The man's headset got stuck in the door behind him. I also smelled cigarette smoke as he was leaving, which added to my anger. I felt scared that he would come back angry and hurt me. So I felt angry then scared, as well as concerned for how this exchange could have impacted innocent bystanders. Such as my Dad when he saw the guy storm out. This situation had similar dynamics to something I go through in my waking life, but just with different people playing the roles. Next dream. There was this plant called a "Lung Plant" which had pores for breathing? I think it had sort of yellowish bulbs on it. And other plants to eat. It was said that plants and vegetables are different. This sounds funny to me now. Next dream. I was actually a female character and I had a new job. My new boss was telling me where I could eat. Notes. I am going back through these from hand written notes in Fii Write and typing it in a fully typed format. I still remember these dreams vividly, about 5 months later. I can even connect some dreams to my life circumstances at the time, and I see how some things have changed. The one on the dock is the one I most vividly remember.
Sadly, I don't have much time to write this, so: I dreamt about a girl from work who I hooked up with a few months ago. She sent me some messages yesterday, obviously interested again. I'm not. So, in my dream, she was trying to kiss me and I kept trying to keep my distance. It wasn't easy. My other dream was about my boss. She's very sad because of something that happened, so, in the dream, I was trying to hug her. She was too upset, though, and she kept telling me to stay away. She's usually very sweet, so her being rude was very weird. That's all.
Running around a giant square shaped road circuit. Must be a few miles on each side. There is change link fence on the inside and the pavement is white and mostly free of people, except those couple running with me. It takes so long to get round that it is now noon and the weather has changed to full sun, making me feel exhaust and strip off my jacket. It is one long slog. note: tried wbtb several times after
That's 6 lucid's in two days. The first three dropped into wispy dream fragments, and the fourth resolidified after de-fragmenting. I'm in an hotel/nursing home kinda place and once I realise I'm lucid, I get excited and move forward. I see the dream fragmenting and I speak out loud Dream Stability, and it works, but only for a few seconds, and dissolves. In another dream, I realise I'm lucid, and find I'm in a fenced meadow with a couple of hundred people. I'm in my underwear and there's only one person who can see me, and this is because he's high on mary jane. Then his friends who are high too see me. I tell them we're in a dream, and then prove it to them by flying up. I ask for a joint as I can't have it in real life, and we're in a circle as they pass the doobie around. I take a deep couple of drags and the dream dissolves.
Morning of September 28, 2017. Thursday. I am in a state of semi-lucidity, slowly becoming aware that our bedroom is transmuting into the northeast bedroom of the Loomis Street house (a place I have not been in real life for over twenty years and unlikely to ever be again). I eventually focus upon the essence of sleep, which in the dream state, is symbolized by water and recognized as such (and has been for over fifty years on a day to day basis). Water begins to flow down Loomis Street from the north. It is a flood, but not a threatening flood. I feel very relaxed and peaceful. I vividly feel small splashes of water reaching me through the window screen, which vivifies my level of dream state awareness. There is some sort of unusual ambiguous imagery just outside the window. It relates to a child in pajamas holding a teddy bear, but is viewed through the screen as an undersized silhouette. Conscious self identity threads are lessened and I am no longer lucid in any way regardless of the increase in vividness. I have no major concern about flood waters flowing into the house, only that some of my dream journals might become damp. I wander off to the west bedroom where my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is sitting on her bed. In this dream, at this point, I have no memory at all of my older sister Marilyn (April 25, 1942-Februay 13, 2014) whose house it mainly was. “Someone left the floodgates open,” I tell my mother somewhat absentmindedly (forgetting that it was me who initiated and released this dream’s content and continuity with deliberate water induction and the original focus on release and blissful relaxation). Although it seemed late at night seconds previously, it now seems to be afternoon as I notice daylight through the window of her room. However, the area beyond the backyard and alley is completely different than in reality as there is no shed visible and no residential homes. All that is visible are some commercial buildings in the distance, about two blocks away. My mother makes some sort of comment about access to the store being blocked by flood waters, and there is some sort of vague association with the checkout of a store (a common end marker of the dream state for me). Upon having this semi-lucid thought, and remembering more about my present conscious self and the fact that I am married and have children, I slowly fade from the dream state with soft (semi-lucid) intent and a very soft awakening. Water, including non-threatening floods as a dream state induction factor, has occurred continuously all my life, long before virtually endless meditation and relaxation recordings utilized the sound of water to bring about relaxation or sleep. I will hear or otherwise perceive water as soon as I enter into a more relaxed state with less emotions present. Water as the primary symbol for sleep (and sleep dynamics in real time) is also analogous to how people spend the first months of their existence sleeping in the waters of the womb. As a result, it is probably my most common dream foundation marker. My mother has, in more recent dreams, become more of a dream state end marker loosely associated with my wife Zsuzsanna than more direct associations with her as in the past. This is evidenced by her mainly appearing in the last scene of a dream where she is sitting on her bed (residual recall of having fallen asleep). Although Zsuzsanna appears in many of my dreams (where more of my present conscious self identity remains at least partially intact), the association with her also being a mother has, over time, altered dream state markers in some cases. However, despite Zsuzsanna having been a mother for a number of years, this symbolic transfer and marker integration is fairly recent (probably because she is now nearer my mother’s age when I was born). Being more of an emergent consciousness precursor than a preconscious factor, there is no conflict in such dreams, especially in already subliminally acknowledging this waking mechanism. (My mother was the one who usually woke me up throughout my childhood.) Both watching the non-threatening flood waters flow and the silhouette of the boy in pajamas with the teddy bear represent the same thing…sleep, so this is a type of parallel symbolism that my dreams often render. (Someone being in pajamas was far less of an initiation factor even in early childhood, even being a fan of “Little Nemo”, though other dream state indicators such as beds and pillows are quite common.) Even though a shadow of a person or a silhouette represents the lesser presence of my conscious self identity, it is slightly puzzling here as viewed through a window screen. This is because focus on a window screen has been validated to relate to some form of transpersonal communication or shared dreaming. Ordinarily, at least in lucid dreams, I sometimes indulge in “shadow play”; that is, I “test” the shadow to verify that it is actually my conscious self identity and it always is, even in a dream where it was very far away and standing on a bridge.
2017, 09-27 Dark Tower – Beach Party I am on a beach at night. I look around to see where I am. It’s a nice beach, except for the strange creatures crawling out of the sea onto the beach. These things look like some kind of cross between a crab and a lobster with extra-large pincers, but I notice they aren’t coming very far away from the water. They’re almost talking, but they talk nonsense like, “Did a chick? Dud a chum?” I start walking along the beach with the ocean at my left. I soon see something up ahead in the light of the moon. I approach it more quickly and soon I see that it is a door standing by itself, standing open. All of these clues put together have convinced me I am in a Dark Tower world and where there is a door on the beach Roland probably won’t be far away. As I approach the door I see something lying on the ground in front of it. I soon see that it is a body lying there, and I correctly assume it is Roland. I get closer and check to see if he is ok. He is breathing steady, although I can feel a heat coming off of him as if he has a fever. I wonder how he could have a fever when I healed all his wounds… unless maybe my energy only healed the damage and didn’t get all of the poison… I look around and see that I am no longer alone. There are other people standing around, most of them have smirks on their faces. They are all wearing the symbol of the Templars. One of them comes over to me and puts on a fake friendly face, he says we have something to discuss. He says he wants to know exactly how the doors along this beach work so he and his associates can build one of their own. I tell him I really have no clue how the doors work (I don’t) and these Dark Tower worlds are the only place I’ve ever seen them. He doesn’t seem to believe me. He says he has medicine that can help my friend (Roland) or he can make sure Roland has no body to come back to. I am about to respond when I see another person on the beach with us. This guy looks like a holy warrior or knight, he is dressed in bright armor and carrying a cool looking sword. The Templar who had been talking to me turns and asks who the fuck that guy is. The knight holds his sword out in front of him and it glows with a golden light almost too bright to look upon. The knight says the Templars may bare the holy mark of God, but he has seen through their disguise. He says he can see they have abandoned the teachings of our Saviour, Jesus Christ, and now they must stand and face their holy judgment and be cast down back into the pits from which they came. Now I hear some of the other Templars muttering amongst themselves, they seem to think the knight is crazy. The knight doesn’t wait to see their reactions, he attacks with his brightly glowing sword which is almost blinding now. I shield my eyes and see a Templar open a portal and a large something comes through, looks like a giant or a golem of some kind, and it attacks the knight. I am distracted when I see a Templar over by the door. I’m not sure what he is doing, but I know it can’t be good. I am about to do something, but it seems he is about to go through the door. He doesn’t make it, however… there is the sound of a gunshot and he falls right through the door, dead. I look where the shot came from and I see MoSh has joined the party. The next period of time is a bit unclear because there is some chaos. A couple Templars attack me and I demonstrate my Alex Mercer blade arm for them. A Templar is disoriented, looks like he has been blinded by the knight’s bright sword, and he wanders too close to the lobstrocities coming from the water and gets torn apart. I hear numerous gunshots from MoSh’s guns and soon there are even more because Roland has come back through the door and in spite of the fact he seems sick he is shooting like the guns are a part of his hands. I figure that even though I didn’t stop the venom from making Roland sick I was able to make sure he has both his hands whole. Soon there are no more Templars, just MoSh, the knight who I am thinking might be a friend I have been trying to dream with named Austin, Roland, and me. This seems like a good chance for everyone to get to know each other. I’m not completely sure the knight is Austin, but I figure that is my best guess so I go with it and introduce everyone to everyone else since I’m the only one who knows everyone here. I am even more convinced the knight is Austin when he says I’m his sister and hugs me. I hug him back, though I’m not sure if he can even feel it through his armor. I have barely finished introducing everyone when I wake up.
The scenario is as such: I am the narrator, covering the exploits of a woman with mannequin-like properties such as being able to take off her limbs and reattach them anytime she likes. Thing is, she's a bit flustered and doesn't know what to make of the situation. This all culminates when she ends up almost completely disassembled in the shower. Yep. Funny this is, this was meant to be a 'comedy', and my dream persona was talking about how "The humor always matches the situation" and stuff. Kinda weird. After that, the dream just ended. And I woke up with a feeling of supreme surrealness when I did so...yeah.
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