lucid

Night of March 20, 2014. Thursday.



It is either late at night or a couple hours before dawn. A gentle soothing rain is falling (which seems to be a form of healing or the presence of rejuvenating energies). My family and I as we are now are in the backyard at our present home on W Street. My wife Zsuzsanna has a beautiful radiant presence in the semidarkness. Our children mostly remain on the back stairs.

The water is very high yet not considered as a flood. Zsuzsanna is near the back porch and washing a thin layer of mud from a cow. She is chest high in the water and seems very happy. The cow’s head and part of the back is all that is above the water. My dream is vivid and accurate with regard to the setting, orientation, and physical awareness, other than the fact that the ground level would have to be lower to imply the depth of the water as relative to the porch and steps. My dream has a very cheerful and peaceful mood, with a sense of bliss.

I am becoming partly lucid. My dream remains vivid and positive and seems to last about fifteen minutes. I do not question why we have a cow in our small backyard in an urban area.

---

This dream is primarily a form of sustained induction or re-induction and I perceive Zsuzsanna as the inducer here. Water symbolizes sleep (in real time). There is no apparent waking symbolism initiated here (although a cow could be considered as an early morning waking prompt factor as a cow is milked early in the morning).

---

This dream seems loosely based (at least partly) on a negative real-life event of Zsuzsanna’s. Zsuzsanna, as a child, had a cow with the same name as a grandmother of mine (mother’s side), but it had drowned. This may also relate to an alteration of Zsuzsanna’s maiden name into “Hathor”. I think this dream may be injecting new associations and positive energies into an older sorrowful memory of Zsuzsanna’s yet somehow for my benefit or just reminding me of the lifelong Hathor connection with my “mystery girl” (and may also relate to Jennie Haniver in a subtle way relating to being in the water).

---

Night of March 20, 2014. Thursday.



As I have said in previous entries, I never include scripted dreams unless my script is only a generic affirmation (such as “I am the continuity of maximum well-being” or “I am of the light of Universal Love”, and so on), as it would not be fair to people who do not have that option or access to how it is done or are even aware that it can be done (and people who would never believe such a thing, especially including those who deny lucid dreams exist). However, I have decided to post some aspects of some scripted dreams from time to time, only regarding the fully “open” branches (meaning the details that are not precisely scripted).

I create about six or more different scenarios and foundational elements (as a child I sometimes went on and on making a session that was way too long for normal sleep), sometimes using more precise wording, but there is a point at which more precise wording does not work exactly as it should (though it depends which “direction” the consciousness is flowing). I suspect this is due to certain parts of the higher mind during half-sleep to deep sleep to be separated from certain language centers and the fact that many words in the English language have several (even opposite) meanings. Because of how the mind pulses especially during sleep paralysis when it becomes more noticeable, some words are even naturally omitted in sequence; that, and the fact that if the residual pattern is no longer fully going on its own momentum so to speak, there will be hilarious changes (as with the recent white gorilla dream).

In this case, I have a setup with the potential for purposeful shared dreaming on a regular basis. However, as I have said before, even scripted shared dreaming has “filters” by which each person is set into their own perspective of the scenario - for example, the deliberately shared dream from years ago where a (unscripted aspect) hollow silver ball radiating healing energies doing figure eights above me was actually a toy airplane flying in a figure eight in my wife’s dream - this one being remarkable as there was no mention of sound and no real sound as such at the time - yet we both heard the exact same loud humming frequency in our deeper dream state at the same time. It sometimes happens unintentionally (and as I have learned, another person does not even need to know what the script even is if they sleep next to that person who does). Also consider that two people watching the same movie in real life will “experience” and interpret it in different ways. That does not mean they are not watching the same movie - because they obviously are.

I used one of my favorite foundations regarding the Enchanted Forest (the more “swampy” section) and the tree-house scenario (which is always different since I leave a lot “open”). In this particular case, the beauty was astounding. Two of the more effective words to use are “beautiful” and “happiness”. These words are remarkable in the power to alter the flow of semiconscious thought, though there are many more that are basic but also powerful. Because I had the special audio pulsing to my right and also had the humidifier going (in rotating mode), it created a “perfect” rhythmic flow of sound and moving air (white noise and patterned sensations on the body). As I have said often before, “healthy” is usually the word to use, not “healing”. With “healing”, the mind forms the unresolved idea of perpetual healing, and in the lucid dream state, makes holes and cysts in your body to be filled or healed in the dream or come up with fictional (in-dream only) scenarios by which you are later partially “healed”. Words take on a life of their own, so the correct ones are important. When using “I am healing” - the phrase triggers the circumstance that the healing is never complete and you might even absentmindedly get into situations where you need additional healing.

During the first part of the night, before I burned the CD and set up our system, I was talking to Zsuzsanna about the idea of “forcing” myself to believe I had taken a dream enhancement drug of whatever kind. “Convincing” my mind that I had taken a particular drug and actually taking a particular drug makes no difference (which is why I have never taken any in the first place in my lifetime). She said I might also have some of the inherent side effects claimed by some people (even if I did not know what they were or were supposed to be, due to the nature of how the supraconscious works) and, even though the body can supposedly produce any kind of chemical on its own, there may be unknown potential negatives in this idea. Not only that, it is pointless anyway, as I can dream without drugs. In the long run, I do not think it is a good idea to tamper with perceptions of molecules and compounds at the liminal level.

The marshy forest is beautiful and vivid. The detail of the “tree-house” is amazing. Curiously, though, it looks just like a large old Swiss farmhouse built high in the large branches and with a flower-box midway up on at least one side. I am in this part of my dream for what seems like a very long time, sort of hovering and moving about fairly close to the environment and feeling very blissful, almost ecstatic. I am later on a larger branch or a platform on one of the large branches. During this same time my wife said she had been dreaming of a light coming from under a door.

A younger Caucasian girl comes out, with longer brown hair, and wearing a shimmering orange dress (pure orange, yet also somewhat lamé-like in properties of the material) and a fresh wreath of flowers on her head - she is radiating an almost overwhelming sense of happiness and openness (this always occurs in this type of scene, though) and with a sort of glow about her (the “sped-up” cilia-like energy form I described once in my older online journal from 2008, I think). There is that very precise and vivid feeling of when a person walks up to you and you are aware of the slight change in the scent of the air and a subtle feeling of movement. Anyhow, none of the additional details regarding the setup were scripted. The age, race, style of dress, culture, century of living, etc. - none of those were in the scripting - which was short and very open - just a goddess-like form that could have been any passing-by random entity so long as there were positive intentions and openness only. As I bask in my dream’s full point of lucidity and light, I am aware of a vague second-layer of commentary coming in, almost like a fuzzy radio broadcast. Her name is “Princess Dunn”. Around this time, I hear that it is fully “Princess Dunn Duty”. (It actually seems more like a layered dream at this point - that is, two dreams simultaneously - the overwhelmingly lucid one and a normal one at the same time.) However, I “gasp” myself out of the scene due to not being able to handle the particular state of bliss and move more back into images of trees and forests and my body slowly “recovers” from the “rapidly and continuously melting” effect. Still, it was a good “coloring” of my mind which will last for some time (at least a day or so). I still feel a sense of bliss several hours later.

Of course, a variation could be “Dudie”, “Doodie”, “Dutie”, and so on, as well as “Dunn” being like “Done”…“Done Duty”.

But anyway…wait…

“Princess Dunn Duty?”

I think it is time to start scripting names…

Had another lucid! That's two for March, which is getting my hopes up for the future since I've been absolutely unsuccessful at lucid dreaming since my return in June. So hopefully I can keep the consistency alive!

The dream starts with myself and my friend Robert. We are in the process of robbing a bank together. I don't recall the actual hold up very well, but after we take the money the authorities show up to thwart our devious plans. However Rob and I take extreme actions and I believe we kill one of two cops in an attempt to escape the bank.

We successfully escape the bank and rush out into the parking lot. The cops are showering Rob and I with bullets, but luckily their aim sucks. I tell Rob that we'll never get to the getaway car at this rate. So, we take another extreme act of insurgency and get into a police car that is unguarded and drive off. The cops continue firing at us as we drive off, but their terrible aim allows us to get away unscathed.

I toss the money into the back as Rob drives the cop car away. As we're driving off I soon take notice that Rob is doing the speed limit of what I think was 35. I look at Rob cock-eyed and wonder what the hell he's doing.
"Rob, what the hell are you doing?" I say.
"Gotta go the speed limit dude." Rob replies.
"We just robbed a fucking bank!" I exclaim. "We're already going to jail if we get pulled over! Just go over the speed limit!"
"But they don't have the make on this car yet." Rob argues.
"What the fuck are you talking about?!" I snap. "We stole a fucking police car! They'll know who we are in a single glance!"
"Whatever man," Rob says. "Still gotta do the speed limit."
I facepalm as Rob turns onto the freeway now and takes the on-ramp. We pick up the pace ever so slightly as the speed limit goes up to 55(just an FYI for anyone outside the US or UK, we use miles per hour, not kilometers, so 55 is actually considerably fast).

We now exit the freeway just as the speed goes up to 65. I wished Rob had been driving that fast from the start, and now we'll probably end up on some dumb 25 road. Sure enough, we end up on a residential street(which are all usually 25 in America). And before we know it, the cops catch up to us and cut us off.

Rob and I get out of the car with our hands up. The cops pull out their guns and aim at us, they're going to shoot! I begin to cower in fear as the officers prepare to fire, and I think about how I can let it end this way. That's when I become lucid by pure luck. I jump up high into the air and come back down, testing my power out a little bit. I go up to a police officer, thinking of the February task of the month, to pull your own heart out. I get the idea to try and pull his heart out, but I can't do it. I grab on and end pull it forward, but it won't come out. The officers all freak out from my clearly superhuman power and leave the scene quickly.

Rob and I travel inside where I look around and think about the TOTM. I recall the middle name task and turn to random DC.
"What's your middle name?" I ask.
"Krejelt," (I think that's what she said, I recalled it this morning but I've forgotten now). "That's K-R-E-J-E-L-T."
"Thanks." I say, and then I leave.

Time to do two tasks in one dream! I remember I need to pinch someone who isn't wearing green. I begin searching around, only to discover that everyone is wearing green. What the fuck?! This isn't fair! I continue searching desperately for someone in green, and then I come across my friend Hannah who is sitting on a couch with what I think was a cast on her right leg. She isn't wearing any green, she's the perfect victim. Someone from behind says something before I can, and I turn to see who it is. It's my friend' solder brother Nick, and as I acknowledge him, I awake. NO!

Date: 18 March

Pre bedish: Vit C, l-arginine

Not quite the same results with vividness compared to the last time (15th) that used l-arg, but the wbtb did it

Pre wbtb dream: somewhat vivid but quite evasive for recall

wbtb: 1/3 latte

LD1: The beginning memory is quite vague but the dream starts in my parents' place where I shortly talk to dad, some minor awareness about this being a dream that goes away the next moment. A relative comes and I go to greet her but notice that she is shaking, try to calm her down and hug her but she shakes more. I take a look at my hands and for the first? time I see an extra finger next to each one (they are kind of separated yet moving together with my hand). This doesn't quite jolt me into lucidity as I don't give it any thought at all, still concerned about my relative. As I move a bit I finally recall the short lucid moment before and remember I was supposed to be lding. I walk around with no particular place in mind when I feel the dream starting to thin out. In addition, there is this real but dream amplified sensation of hunger in my stomach, which makes the dream even more unstable and me very pissed off. I drag myself forward near some furniture with a rather defeated mindset.

Then I see dad sitting at a long dinning room table and recall the Mad Hatter Tea Party task. I think my mom was also there, so I turn to the kitchen and tell her to make me some tea. I look at the kitchen but my mom has disappeared. No, just when I need her DC she's gone, I turn around and try to summon her, which should be easy, still no DC. Quite interestingly, I do hear loud noises coming from the kitchen as if she is there - the water running, dishes, etc.

I decide to summon a cup of tea myself and more like a habit, I move my hands closer as if holding a cup of tea and the next moment I start distinguishing the light tea liquid in between. After a bit, a china cup appears there as well. My mood is super elevated after this - an effective summon in direct eyesight - not what I expected! I place it on the table - its existence is very shifty, where I try to manipulate it into a proper looking and full tea cup. In the meantime, if not mistaken mom comes and leaves a small tea cup at the table. I pour some of the liquid from the large one into the small one. Now everything looks satisfactory. The cups are still a bit shifty now with blue decorations. This is probably the only less rushed part of the dream, where I actually decide to take a moment and examine the picture at the bottom of the cup and memorize it. It is a typical Chinese decoration in blue - a village person with a Chinese straw hat as if fishing barehanded in the river in front of a village. I even get to feel some cool false memories/info about the people that used this cup at this point in the past and their life.

The next thing I need is a rabbit and I think about one while looking around, then turning to dad to see that he is holding one - a real rabbit, but as I come closer to examine it becomes a stuffed toy rabbit. Oh, well, it's still a rabbit. Now I need the mad hatter and as planned I want to summon Johnny Depp to represent him. This will be a tough one, so I decide to summon him as Jack Sparrow as this role has the strongest impression for my mind. I need to feel his presence, so I kind of shortly turn into him myself as I shout out full of emotion in a deep male pirate voice "Captain Jack Sparrow". A bit worried about the strength of my voice waking me up. This is enough to cause strong thoughts about the character and a JS DC appears in front of me. He's not wearing all the make up, but has pirate clothes and the dreadlocks. Similar to my cup summons, his facial features quickly change to those of a random DC. That doesn't matter now, I notice he wears no hat and if he is the mad hatter he has to, so I think about a hat, see one, then another one that I triumphantly place on his head. Ok, where were we? Briefly lose mental focus, then recall about the poem. I only manage to say the first word and the dream quickly thins out.

My concentration/mental energy has been rather poor for a deild. I review the dream, conclude that this was probably it for this month, since it will be difficult to go through all the summoning again. I feel tired and decide to just sleep.

A few short non-lds and then:

LD2: Weirdly, (or not!) I'm at my parents place again. Initially we are inside and my parents interact with this strange retriever type of dog. But something's totally off with it. It comes wearing some sort of a napkin mask and as I try to ask the dog about it, it seems to be trying to talk - like a person with his mouth shut, he (later she) makes some noises that sound like real words that almost make sense to me. I begin to suspect that this is actually a person undercover. He also runs like a person in the yard and it turns out just that - some French girl is pretending to be the dog.

We are outside now and some family friends are visiting. I make comments about the way they are dressed. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I am at the same location of the previous dream and indeed dreaming. I wonder what to do and discard the idea of going for the totm again since there won't be enough time to complete the task, yet since there's nothing else to do and maybe it's no coincidence I have another dream here, decide to go ahead anyways.

There's a part that's open to the yard like a garage with lots of tables and all the family & friends DCs walking around and being super loud. I try to summon a cup again, this time one appears on the table where I'm standing. Also, in the distant end of the garage is another table with two large tea pots. I bring the cup over there, but it fills up with sugar as I examine the items on the table. I guess that's enough for a tea party and decide not to mess with the stuff anymore. The light in the garage gradually goes down - this is also the end of the garage, near the wall. The DCs make their way around the table, taking part of the tea party. I need the rabbit and without actively summoning it, notice that on one of seats around the table is actually sitting the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland (1951), wearing the playing cards type of clothes. He is animated, which is strange, but I'm just happy about the summon and wonder what to do about the mad hatter. Again, unexpectedly as I look to my other side I see the mad hatter (1951). It takes me a bit to actually realize that I'm looking at the mad hatter from the movie. What is even more interesting is that I get this very convincing memory that the clothes that he is wearing in the dream are the correct ones - and he is a wearing green! (later checked to find out that it's the right attire). The dream becomes extremly dark at this point with one last effort I make all the DCs repeat with me the poem-like thing I prepared for this event :

"Lucid dreaming,
what's the meaning
something's flying in the sky,
awesome feeling
rabbits speaking
why, Ophelia, why?"

The dream is gone and I end up with a short session of SP (being unable to move, while feeling my physical body, seeing only darkness). I wait it out, thinking I must have been on my back (slightly to the right but yes) and start telling myself about the dream.

DEILD: I expect to wake up, but involuntarily deild back instead. My mental continuity is messed up and during this part I shortly believe that I haven't left the dream at all. I examine the mad hatter character residue who turns into normal DC. I go outside and wonder what to do as there still might be some dream time, briefly question if it was ok to do another task, where I think about going for toty. I decide to go ahead. Some background DCs and me are in the yard now. There's a small black hound-like dog running around that distracts me and I try to ignore it as much as possible, while thinking about the beanstalk. I see some sort of bean-like seeds on the ground and take them, looking for a good place to plant them. I open my palm and see them undergoing many changes - all sorts of colors and shapes and try to make them a particular sort of beans again. After some struggle they look like dark red beans and I place them on the steps where there is a lot of muddy soil and cover them with it. One stone's hanging above and I think it will mess up how they grow, because of my thoughts. Anyways, I start to think about them growing and they grow into small shoots. The dream fades.

Note to self: All of the actively summoned objects were shiftier than the rest of the dream (cup, rabbit, js, beans)

I walk into a room where I have to complete some challenge, a kind of game. I have a vague sense of danger, it's not quite a nightmare but it feels similar, as if it has the potential to become one. I'm semi-lucid, in that stage where I'm aware that I'm dreaming and can easily control my surroundings, but still following the dream storyline. Small rings of light form around my wrists - at first I'm not sure what this is, then I think of it as both something that this room provides for the challenge, and something that I summoned myself. I decide that the user has to make the light take a solid form before it can serve its function. Focusing on it, the light condenses into a metal cuff around my right wrist; the left one fails, it remains light. Looking at the right cuff, I decide it represents a kind of shield, a personal force field. I focus on the left one again, without looking at it this time, trying to make it condense into the other cuff, and I decide that it's worked, though I don't want to risk looking down to check; I can now feel the shield working in the air just around me. I move further into the room and start the game, which involves running a course and using the shield to deflect small projectiles. A woman's voice keeps score. At the first curve in the course, everything goes black.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

Due to a conflict with someone else, an immortal has been forced to enter another immortal's territory. Although they appear to be different species - the one the territory belongs to is a sphinx, the other one looks like a human man - they're still similar enough to require separate territories, so this has led to a confrontation, although on the surface it looks like a casual conversation. It's night. The one that looks like a man is saying something about how anyway, this isn't the same city he agreed to stay away from - it's partially joking (the city's changed names in the years since that agreement), but it's also partially serious, grasping at straws, looking for an out. The sphinx has no particular ill will towards him, and understands his situation, but nonetheless can't permit him to stay here.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A vampire guy's in a subway car, picking out a meal. There's a small group of others with him, people he'd turned, but he's the only one doing the hunting. One of the others, recently turned, is impatient with him. Finally she says to him, come on, let's just take the whole car, let loose once in a while, please? The other vamps are a little annoyed with her - they're impatient too, but she's being childish - but he's considering it. I'm in first person now, though I'd started out in 3rd and I have no sense of when I switched; as one of the other vamps, I look around at the number of people in this car. There's a lot of them; the car's not full, but there's enough that they outnumber us. I'm thinking about crowd control. I notice a couple of them looking this way, starting to pay attention to the conversation between our leader and the new girl. Without saying anything, I get up and move to stand by the door to the next car, to block the exit. I look through the window into the next car, and consider the number of people in that car, too.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There's a man I think of as a legendary king riding on the back of some enormous reptile through a completely black space. He's not human, at least not anymore, and this isn't a physical space; he's something that is sometimes summoned into the physical world. The creature he's riding is covered in trunks and carpets and cages piled so high that I think of it as a moving mountain; I can't tell how much is luggage and how much is the body of the creature itself, but the whole thing is maybe four times the height of the man riding it, who is sitting cross-legged just behind the creature's head, front and center. At the very back of the creature, the king's servant is opening the top of one of the cages. It contains a small and unhappy creature that they've just captured, something very rare; the top of it opens up like a flower and contains a kind of liquid, which contains some 'essence' that the king is after.

There's three people riding a motorboat through a river in a jungle. They stop when they pass a man standing waist-deep in the river, working at something, and one of the guys in the boat talks with him about a foreign researcher who's made some big discovery that's driving up prices in the area. The guy standing in the river is saying that pretty soon they're all going to be out of a job. The guy in the motorboat says it wouldn't be the first time they've had to live out of tents; they'll survive.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

(...) With ZIlla, at some conference. There are stands from different countries. Don't know the topic of the event, but I see mainly Asians. There's some stir, when tibetans put their table really close to the chinese. A fight starts and some japanese dressed like samurais step in. Zilla gets caught in the middle of it. A medallion comes into my hand. My attention goes entirely to it. I focus on its surface, design, details, I get lucid. I am sucked into the medallion. I see and become its molecules. As I dive towards the quantic level, I exit on a clear blue sky where I float around in bliss.
Slowly, I descend on the ground. As I walk through a cobbler stone street, everything around seems perfect: the sky is a pallete of beautiful colours, beautiful birds dance in the sky, showers of petals... I feel like a goddess. The overwhelming feeling is of love and romance. I look around and wonder what I should do about it. The silly idea that comes to my mind is to create a cliché romantic scenario that I'll never experience in life. I imagine a beautiful dress to wear and a white gown appears over my skin. I imagine a gorgeous palace I'm walking into, to meet my prince charming. So far, so good and the birds keep dancing around. But when I enter the palace, inside it looks oddly small, actually, it's nothing more than a trailer. And my prince? Well, he is handsome, but rude, drunk and is all bruised. He asks what the fuck I'm looking at. He says such-and-such kicked him. I feel he probably deserved. So disappointing.
I end up meeting his bully and flirting with him. Silly fantasy gone bad.

Morning of March 19, 2014. Wednesday.



There are kittens everywhere - and I do mean everywhere. They are en masse. The “ground” just outside our bathroom window at our present address is all kittens, seemingly in at least three layers. They are mostly all calico kittens of similar colors. During this time, I am also aware of small tunnels into the Earth that have larger stones around the openings and which go down into the Earth at about a twelve to fifteen degree angle.

Are all these kittens coming out of the Earth and covering the planet? It seems like it, but the tunnels and kittens are separate. The area of ground on the west end of our yard, to the back of the house, is entirely covered, but they are only on ground and grass for the most part. They cannot seem to move very much or very far from where they are wiggling and rolling. An unusual sight, sort of pretty or at least intriguing in a way, but still strange. They do not seem to be harmed in any way or showing signs of stress or injury.

---

I have had similar dreams in the past, including one where I was hovering over the inside of a large chicken farm and seeing infinite white chickens and another dream with endless turkeys. This seems to be some sort of coalescence metaphor or possibly the reverse, that is, conscious energies being divided while in the dream state.

Based on F/SN, as Emiya, I've just found myself in a timeline where I'm acting as Servant to the white-haired version of Sakura. I'm thinking that I've been through this type of timeline before, and there are only two ways events play out after this point, neither of which I want to go through again. I'm trying to think up a way to avoid repeating those same patterns, to create a third possibility instead. At the moment, I'm helping Tohsaka climb up into some passageway, to either hide or escape from Sakura.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

After a series of extremely loosely IRL-based scenes (although I thought of all the locations as IRL-based, the only thing that actually resembled IRL was my own identity), I'm walking into the lobby of a hotel where I'm living, heading for the stairs. I pass a woman working at the front desk, a woman with straight black hair in a bob. Looking at her, I think that she reminds me of the woman who appeared in a shared dream with my IRL sister years back, in which she'd been my sister's roommate. Her hair's longer this time. When I make eye contact with her, I become lucid. I immediately start floating. I remember my intention to try summoning Julia today (usually my most common recurring DC, she hasn't reappeared since my first and last attempt at deliberately summoning her), and I start to do so, but then I change my mind about the method - rather than try to summon directly, it's easier for me to 'summon' by traveling. Since I'm still moving towards the stairs, I decide that Julia is at the top of those stairs. It's a spiral staircase, gold railing, huge, in the center of the room; it reminds me of a pillar and also of DNA. As I focus on it, I become aware that I'm waking up. I can feel the bed against my back, and the image of the staircase has frozen, as if I'm no longer moving. It gives me the impression that it's melting - not the staircase itself, but the visual image, like a filter being applied to a photo. I lose visuals. I spend some time trying to force the dream to reform, and have the feeling I'm getting somewhere, there's a brief sense of something shining in the darkness, but I eventually have to admit that I'm now too awake for this.

Except it's a false awakening. I spend some time in that same hotel lobby, looking through my backpack, trying to find a pen with which to write down that dream, before waking up for real.

These were all much clearer when I woke up but I didn't have time to write it up, so now they have become fragments!

fragment 1:

I was in some dystopian future where the world was ruled by a small group of druids. They would influence the world through sound somehow. I just remember that they thought they were so cool in their hooded robes and with their enigmatic ways.

fragment 2:

Was hanging out with Don Draper, been watching too much mad men

Dream 1:

There was a high school reunion that was taking place in the library of my old high school. I was meeting people I haven't seen in years and clowning around, making people laugh. Then I saw one of my best buddies and I followed him outside. I was suddenly in the mountains outside a cabin. I said, "Wait a minute! We were just in a high school, how are we hundreds of miles away now?!" Then I became lucid. I spent a couple minutes trying to remember what I was supposed to do for the tasks and I got worried that the dream would start to destabilize but then I remembered something about teleporting to a world from a movie or book and I couldn't remember any for a second and then I thought Harry Potter! So I closed my eyes and imagined Hermione's pretty little face. Didn't work, damnit. I ended up in some ancient forest instead.

So I started to run through the forest and I came upon a little village that was built in the trees and immediately I realized, I'm in the Star Wars Ewok Village!! I was super excited. So I flew up to the little huts surrounding the trees and landed on a bridge. There was nobody up there so I tried to make someone appear. I saw a little furry guy and I went over to talk to him but then I heard this really loud noise that sounded like somebody started to take a shower. Dream froze like video games used to do back in the day on the old consoles. I could still see the image of the dream but everything was frozen. It slowly faded away to black as I struggled to stay in the dream.

fragment 3:

I was in a town, hanging out with this girl I'm friends with. I don't remember how I became lucid, I just remember that I was and I decided to fly around looking for something cool to do. I looked down and saw this old civil war part of town that was cut off and preserved. I don't remember what happened here, a lot missing. Next part I remember, I was taking the girl and some older lady on a journey to show off my dream powers. For some reason I also feel like we were running from something. I drew a rectangle on a wall with chalk that I pulled out of my pocket and turned it into a door, then opened it. I told them to go in so we could teleport. I made them hold onto me so that I wouldn't lose them through the teleportation process. Once I went through the door I found a wall blocking me, I turned around and the door I used to get in was now gone. We were trapped in a 3'x3'x7' room. Claustrophobia started to set in, so I quickly tried to teleport us out of there. We ended up back in the street. The older lady disappeared, lost her :'(

The girl's brother appeared and tried to take her away. I lost them in the crowd.

Dream 2:

I started in a cafeteria, the girl from the previous dream was there with her brother, sitting at a table. I remembered the previous dream and became lucid. I immediately asked the DC's to show me to the smartest of them. They all looked at this guy in the corner of the room. I walked over to him and turned him into an enormous head to make sure that he was really smart enough to answer my question adequately. I asked him what his dreams were like and he told me that he wasn't even sure if they were his dreams, if he was actually the dreamer or just another part of the dream. I thought for a minute about how I kind of feel the same way. I then decided to mess with the DC's a little bit and so I made a very loud sound and kept making it louder until the glass exploded, I don't think I get points for that but it was pretty damn cool. I made the glass shards fly into the room and swirl above the heads of the DC's. Then I woke up.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #194: Bold Talk

I have a false awakening where I really need to pee and I head into a darkened restroom with urinals along the wall. It looks like something that you’d find in the lobby of a nice hotel or a fancy restaurant. I remember that I fell asleep at home, so this all seems really odd, but when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.

I start using the urinal for a bit when it occurs to me that I might be dreaming. Everything feels oddly realistic, so I stop, suddenly afraid that I’m wetting the bed. There’s a single sink in this restroom with a mirror over it. I walk up to the mirror and see my bleary-eyed self staring back. I bring up my hand for a nose pinch and so does my double. When I breathe right through my pinched fingers, I’m finally sure that this is a dream.

I walk out through the restroom door into a sports stadium that seems to be made up of a bunch of crisscrossed steel girders. On the outside of the stadium I can see huge red letters that are backward (from my perspective) and seem to spell out something like “B E A R S”. I look closer and now the letters are oriented to face me and spell “M E T S”.

Taking a glass door leading outside brings me to a large, covered pavilion filled with DCs standing around chatting and holding fountain drinks. I decide that I want another crack at Task of the Year, so I try to take command: “Listen up everyone!” They all stop what they’re doing and turn to face me. “You will all help me do task of the year.”

I get this sudden feeling of paranoia and add, “And none of you will attack me!” Agh, shut up, man, nobody’s thinking of attacking you! The DCs return to going about their business and walk past me, the pavilion area quickly thinning out until there are just a handful of people in there beside me. I start trying to work a magic lamp summon for the Aladdin Task of the Year but the dream collapses before I have any success.

Yet another near miss on Task of the Year! I really need to work on learning to close these. Lots of fun though!

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #193: Magic Carpet School

I’m part of a large parenting group that’s exploring a gloomy cavern illuminated by translucent pools of water. After quietly exploring this place for a while, we all wind up back at one of the mom’s houses. Somebody suggests that we do a group hug, and we all awkwardly move toward the middle of the room.

I notice that Andy Bernard from The Office is part of the group. He looks sweaty and awkward and I think, “Hey that guy who plays Andy Bernard sure looks sweaty and awkward in person.” I do a quick mental check to see whether this is a dream and decide that yes, it definitely is.

I walk out of this living room into an elementary school classroom that’s in the middle of some kind of lesson. I pass through without interacting with any of the dream characters, wanting to get outside for a Task of the Year attempt. (The Aladdin’s lamp task with a magic carpet and three wishes.)

Leaving this classroom takes me to a second classroom and I start worrying that I’ll spend this whole lucid wandering through an endless series of grade school classes. I head for a wall, announcing that “This is a phase outside,” before plunging right through. I wind up in the void, but my hands and forearms are still brightly illuminated and clearly visible.

I rub my hands together and slowly the void becomes filled with a swirling field of stars. This fades into a scene from the Matrix that has the Youtube logo and controls underneath it, and I see that I am watching a video whose length is “0:98”. I briefly wonder if I went to bed wearing VR goggles or something and that the images are penetrating my eyelids. Scenes from The Matrix flash by and the image slowly rotates.

Now there’s a crackling sound and my vision fills with a series of strange characters that I can’t identify. I feel a sharp tug backward and I wait for the new scene to form. My vision reforms into… another elementary school classroom, this one a little bigger with an adjacent windowed playroom. I head immediately for the exit and I’m pleased to find myself in an entrance area. I bolt through a set of glass doors and now I’m outside.

Immediately I start attempting the lamp summon by “finding” it behind my back, but my hand just keeps coming back empty. After three failures, I’m really frustrated by this. On the last attempt my hand comes back with some little piece of dirty, wooden-looking junk about the size of a sugar cube. This time I pretend that this is the lamp but it’s just way too small. “Bigger… bigger…” and do a little magician-esque gesture. It plumps up nicely into a real magic lamp! It’s way too light to be realistic, but who cares, next step!

I rub the lamp, wishing for the magic carpet. I decide to be really specific, saying, “A magic carpet. Make it rolled up.” A simple little rolled-up rug appears on the ground. I immediately think, Why’d you ask for it rolled up? That’s just a pain in the ass. I expect the magic carpet to unroll and it does, so I quickly sit down. As I do, it lifts me up into the air and starts flying leisurely forward.

For my second wish, I quickly say “Delicious cookie!” and a tiny little sliver of cookie appears in my hand, like someone had already eaten most of it. I find this awfully stingy for a magic lamp but I stuff it in my mouth. It’s chocolate chip, not bad at all.

I think about how close I am to completing the task and the excitement gets the best of me. I get one last look at the roof of a one-story building as I float over it before the dream ends.

Hehe I woke up like "aw I didn't dream anything" and then it all came back to me in a flash yo. Hmm I liked this oonee...
Let's see, I want another color for low-level lucidity, 'cause I do neato things when I'm like that and I wanna encourage it. Uhhmm.
Testing.

The Dream In Question (Lucid #2)
Yo okay this is gonna be loooooong. Also I know I'm forgetting some details but the durned things won't line up so screwit.

Basically I dreamed humanity was in some vast war with these frickin' space dinosaurs. The space dinosaurs also had those tan, humanoid Star Wars droids on their side, which they'd built and programmed. I was the son of the general who led the entire human resistance (though I think at the start of the dream I either was, or wanted to be, just another regular soldier). We were positioned behind two massive walls, with a fairly large gap between, occupied by shells of former buildings on either side of a vast street, very post-apocalyptic; the dinos would pour over the first wall and we'd light 'em up as best we could to prevent them from reaching the second wall. Directly behind that wall was the general's (and my) house, which also functioned as a sort of meeting place for the media and government. My dad kept them all close as a necessary part of the war effort. He had all his bases covered, it seemed.

So that day there were two waves of dinosaur attacks I think. Oh also I could fly, despite not being particularly lucid. I guess I was sort of lucid but not enough to plan anything or go for dream goals; just enough to try to manipulate the dream a bit and perform unrealistic shenanigans such as flight. Good times. (Flying wasn't a normal thing in the dream either, it was just how I chose to get around.)

So the first attack I remember flyin' my way towards the middle of the map, and oh man it was great flying. I remember drifting down like it was slow motion, skidding a few feet along the ground despite my light landing, and the physics just felt really really GOOD. I don't even know what the deal was but it was amazing. I'm gonna figure out how to fly like that it felt fantastic.

Then I presumably did some dinosaur fighting, though I can't recall the details, which is a real bummer. I DO remember the way the dinosaurs would approach: the frickin' pterodactyls gliding in ranks overhead, the brachiosauri looming in the distance with smaller dinos in the lead. Fairly picturesque, I just wish the quality had been a bit better. But a striking image all the same.

Hmmm we held off that attack fairly well. The next one though, I started behind the wall again, but this time I couldn't find a weapon. I made my way to the building on the far side of the first wall. There were media peeps in there I think, despite it being a shell, walls and windows blasted out; I guess that was where they shot footage from. Also had weapons right under 'em on a lower floor. I tried to get a sniper rifle from there (I remember another soldier making off with one) but I couldn't seem to get one. I thought it might've been because I was the general's son.

Notwithstanding this problem I headed out into the battle and probably accomplished just absolutely nothing at all. Absolute zip. Then the general noticed I was there (close by the first wall) and pointed out a droid that was about to cross the finish line tower-defense-style. I tried to sprint after the thing so I could take it out, I was gonna snap its skinny neck with one hand (dream powerrrzzzz) but I couldn't even catch up to the dang thing before it blooped through the finish line. Then the general pointed out ANOTHER one, a bit closer but still just a bit too far away (how had these singles droids gotten through everything?). I sprinted after it, and this time looked away from it so I could sort of catch up to it, like sneak up on it more quickly than I could if I were staring at it the whole time (dreeeaaam poweerrrzzz), but I still couldn't catch up. The general was equal parts angry and disappointed, but I was pretty mad at him myself. I told him if he'd let me have a gun, I would've been able to stop them easily. He didn't deny it, so mystery solved.

Then it was nighttime and we'd all retired to the house behind the wall. The general was keeping tabs on the media and strengthening his ties to the government, making sure he had their support and all that. Meanwhile I was wandering around, went into a bathroom and stumbled upon a girl taking a bubble bath. I didn't leave right away, 'cause I was looking for somethin' (and you'll never know what it was), and meanwhile she gave some speech about how our sense of privacy was, in these times, only an illusion. Something to do with the changes the general had put in place. I could sort of see her point but I didn't feel like dwelling on it too long.

I wandered into another bathroom, which looked like the one from my IWL house (2nd floor), except right by the lightswitch was a little screen, maybe 6 inches across, that was blaring some sort of propaganda. Not exactly the untruthful kind, though. It was showing footage of three unarmed soldiers being ripped apart, screaming, by a couple of the droids (who seemed to be having a good time). Lotta blood and guts. The lesson was "these dinosaur guys sure are the worst." I watched it rather morosely, though for me the main connection was "hm, that doesn't seem far removed from how humans used to treat each other back in the earlier wars." I was kinda cynical about that stuff. Part of it was probably just good ol' teenage rebellion against my parent (pretty sure I only had the one).

And speaking of that guy, he started makin' really awful coughing sounds and presumably dying right then and there. While a few people attended to him, I wandered outside (he was in good hands and I was a terrible person). Now I was in the front yard of the house I currently live in IWL, at night.

Just then my IWL parents pulled up in the street, lookin' a bit wild-eyed for some reason. By this time I had somehow grasped it was a dream (no reality check though) and had decided to forge my own path. Also said somethin' like "I'm dreaming" just to confirm.

I took off flying up to the roofs across the street (in the background my parents took off again) and explored a bit. Then I sensed that the house below me belonged to some meditation specialist, and I decided to try to dig my way through the roof to get inside. At my touch, the roof split into 2x1 giant foam lego blocks, which divided into even smaller blocks upon further handling. These shenanigans may have distracted me from my goal a little, as I found myself digging through several layers with no sign of getting through her presumably-3-foot-thick ceiling. I'm pretty sure I woke up soon after.

Not the most lucid I've ever been (it didn't occur to me to perform powers from the competition) but it still feels pretty good, yo. Hasn't even been two weeks since I started this journal and I'm well on my way, hohohoho *evil laughter*.

17-3-14
Im on the back of a Ford Escort panel van 1973 model white, with doors swinging open. Im on the left side standing facing forwards holding the left door wearing blue work overalls. someone unknown is on the right side wearing the same overalls and they are male. I suddenly make the observation that my hair is tied back, which I think is unusual as i have shaved my head, upon this observation i realize i must be dreaming, what the hell am I even doing here.
As i internalize my situation the van turns the corner and cuts off another vehicle, which then decides to fire two shots at us. I decide that the shots are not real they will never hit a thing and i find myself being right, which also validates my internal in dream thoughts . I then decide i want to talk to the driver i see a street that would be great to pull into off the main road and telepath the driver to swing in and pull over. The driver then does what i had wanted, but as soon as i walk around to the drivers side to speak with the driver, i wake up ...

17-3-14
Im doing photos except i quickly notice that im not at work where i actually perform this task. I get given a disk to print from but when i print it , its the wrong photo so i start trying to find the correct pic to print but realize i have mixed the discs somehow . Stepping back , i start to think how i made this error and realize "again" that i am not at work, infact i realize i dont even know where i am and who these people are, which triggers me to step back even further and say in my head " you are dreaming" At that point everything slows down motion wise and then becomes blurry as if i had a eureka moment of thinking. I decide i will find the photo, im a perfectionist even in dream . at that moment everything speeds back up and becomes clear, i grab the right disc and upon touching it i see a flash type moment of a second showing me how i made the error to begin with. the correct photo prints then i feel the need to go toilet ... as i walk away i tell myself i need to wake up as toilets are code to end dream .....
i wake up go toilet and scribble both these dreams down and head back to sleep ...i did go back into dream, but i cant remember them there were 3 more...

Last night I tried sleeping with melatonin rather than Ambien, and although I didn't sleep well, I remembered a ton of dreams and dream fragments.

The first I recall was of being on an unfamiliar street in a familiar neighborhood. I was somewhere near the Montrose area of Houston, and a female police officer was chasing down a suspect. She had forgotten her gun back at the nearby police station and she asked me to run back to grab it for her. She said it would be in the second slot to the left. I ran to the station and looked in a parked squad car before I realized she wanted me to look inside the station, and maybe I'd get in trouble for messing with the police cars. I went inside the strangely deserted station, which was more like an old converted house. I found a room with lots of metal storage slots, and they were all marked with lengthy numbers printed in white font against a black background. I pulled a gun out from the second slot to the left, and a woman came in just then to ask what I was doing. I told her the officer needed her gun to arrest a suspect, and the lady said, "That's not a real gun. You have to give me the slot number so I can pull the corresponding bingo bag." I had no idea what that meant, but okay, she got me the gun, and I ran off. Somehow the suspect was waiting patiently for the officer to receive her gun in order to arrest him at gunpoint. I made sure to hand it to the officer handle first with the safety on.

The next dream was more of a fragment than anything. It had something to do with an old movie from the 90's, but I was actually on set with the characters. The movie isn't real in the waking world, but in the dream, I was familiar with it and remembered that it was a really funny film. The actors were happy to be reliving the shoot. That all somehow led into me scaling a tall house with lots of high balconies on it in the midst of a gentle nighttime snow shower. I wasn't quite flying, but I could use different balcony railings to pull myself higher and then drift to the next handhold. It's a dream sensation I'm familiar with. It's as if gravity is really, really slight, and I'm able to swing or hop across impossible distances.

The next dream was where I became semi-lucid. I was just lucid enough to make mental notes of all the incredible, fully realized detail around me, but not quite lucid enough to realize that I have a lucidity to-do list. I was in a small but immaculately decorated house. The decor was quite old and out of style despite looking very expensive; I distinctly remember a fringed lamp on a small table next to an armchair. It lit the small room adequately, but dimmer than I normally like. The walls were ornately decorated with fancy wallpaper. I walked into the next room, which was like a dining area attached to a porch. It was nighttime, and the screens of the porch kept out the bugs. There was a young boy there with crayons and shelves of art pencils, and his mother explained to me that he wasn't taking well to his art classes. I talked to him about what he likes to draw, and I told him that I also took art classes when I was in school. Then he started to become interested in all his cool art tools. The mother thanked me for kindling his interest and asked me if I'd spend more time with him, so I made a hollow promise to drop in sometime. (I remember feeling uncomfortable because the mother didn't know I was gay. I didn't want her to turn on me later when she finds that out and then decides I'm just not the role model she wants for her son.) She went on to explain that her mother still haunted the house, and that's why it was so dreary and so old. I headed into the previous room to make my way toward the front door, and the old woman appeared near the table. She was impossibly tall, and her gray hair brushed the ceiling. She had a round, white face like a Tim Burton character from the Nightmare Before Christmas. I reached up to put my hands on her cheeks as I told her, "You need to let these people live their lives." She smiled a toothy, jack-o-lantern grin and vanished, her face collapsing between my hands as she went. With her disappearance, all the furnishings transformed into bright, childish colors. The boy came rushing in, delighted to discover that everything was now made of candy. I licked the blue, sugar-coated mantel on the wall of the front room just to verify, and indeed, it was all candy.

My next dream was incredibly fun. I was flying awkwardly, as I ALWAYS do in my flying dreams. I can never fly straight, I have little control over where I land, and I usually go way too fast. There was a pitched battle raging nearby against a fort high on a dusty hill that was occupied by Mexicans, all of them dressed as if they had just conquered the Alamo. The attackers appeared to be American military from World War II, but they were dressed in the non-battlefield uniforms that they might wear while comfortable on base. My flight path swung way out to my right before I managed to come around and land near the American troops. No one was taking the battle too seriously on either side, and the atmosphere was more like a football game than an actual war. The Americans asked me for a favor: since I could fly, would I deliver a stack of uniforms to the Mexicans as a "gift?" In my dream mind, I thought, "How do they expect them to fall for this? They pulled the same thing last year!" The uniforms had been deliberately soaked in wet fecal matter and then dried. The feces had been strategically placed to look like sweat stains around the collars and armpits. For some reason, the Americans were confident the Mexicans would actually don the uniforms after mistakenly thinking they were historical and valuable. I flew the uniforms up to the Mexicans and then returned down the hill. Before long, Mexicans began to appear on the adobe walls wearing the shitty uniforms, and the Americans just laughed and laughed. I grew a little tired of the humiliation of the Mexicans, so I decided to put an end to all this. For the first time that I can ever remember in a dream, I stretched out my arms and successfully controlled my flight! I flew into the fort and landed just like Superman. My feet came down slowly enough, yet the force of my landing shook the whole fort, just as I had intended it to. A Mexican came charging at me with a sword, and suddenly I was holding a flaming Thor hammer, which I struck him with. The blow literally transformed him into a large wicker basket, which disappeared with a small white spark as it struck a nearby adobe wall. I turned to the Mexican general and pointed at him as I said, "Don't challenge me! I am way more powerful than any of your weapons!" I could see my arm as I pointed at him, and I noticed that I was now dressed in the latest Superman costume. The Mexicans put down their weapons and I flew off.

I was becoming a little lucid again, and I knew that this controlled flight was a rare thing for me. I saw a news crew on the ground in a parking lot, and I flew in for a landing near the camera. As I landed perfectly, I could feel the awesomeness of my power and invincibility, as if I had to be careful not to crack the pavement. I heard the male reporter say, "Superman just landed, and we'll try to talk to him a little bit later about what just happened up at the fort." I was surprised at first that no one seemed all that happy to see me, and then I had a false memory of putting another Superman in charge to fill in for me whenever I'm not dreaming. I saw him standing not all that far off, and I could see that he was a little drunk. I super-hopped over to him, and I said, "Man, I leave you behind to be Superman in this world while I'm not here to do it, and this is how you represent me?" He looked dejected and then flew off. I followed behind to see where he was going. We came over some mountains, and I noticed that we were now in some kind of a far-off future. There were MASSIVE bridges, taller than anything that exists now, loaded down with about twenty lanes of cars moving in each direction. I could see huge buildings of odd shapes in the distance, jutting up beyond a bank of fog or low clouds, which were pink in the light of the sun that was rising to my right. Suddenly there was a rapidly approaching shower of something like salt pouring down in the distance. Everything that the salt touched began to crumble and fall, and I somehow knew that this was an alien attack against Earth. The Superman ahead of me turned his head back toward me and shouted, "We've got to help these people!" I replied "There's nothing we can do!" I couldn't think of any way to bring my awesome powers to bear against this threat. He said, "Yes there is!" and he flew down under the huge bridge we were flying along just as the shower overtook us and the bridge began to fall. I did the same one span behind. I saw him catch an enormous section of bridge, and I looked up to see three large sections falling rapidly toward me, each one the size of a skyscraper. I said to myself, "This is going to suck." I caught the piece in the middle, and it smacked my palms painfully hard. To my surprise, the other two pieces froze in mid-air as if I had Jedi powers to hold them all at once. Don't ask me why, but I tossed the three bridge sections away and then flew back to the previous span, which was now coming down also. I braced myself for the catch, and this one hurt even more than the last one. As I set the section down, I thought to myself, "I can't keep doing this."

I think that's about where I woke up. Anyway, it's the last thing I remember.

I hate journaling from my phone, but I gotta get this dream down!

There was craziness before this part, but I have little time: I was in a nonlucid where I was a little girl in a blue dress, eating Cheetos and skipping through the aisles at a Dollar Store looking place. I dropped several Cheetos on the floor, and decided to go to where they kept the brooms so I could sweep up my mess. As I approached a broom, I recalled that I had WBTBed just moments before, trying for a lucid. Yeah! I thought "now what did I want to do?" But could not for the life of me think of doing a TOTM. So instead I just grabbed the broom and decided to fly around the store on it like a witch. I hopped on the broom and rose up a bit then landed. I thought "damn, you fly all the time in dreams without a broom, you can do this." So I imagined the feeling of flying on my own, and that the broom was really just a prop, and it worked! There were 3 large mirrors in the store, and I flew by them so I could see myself on the broom. I even tried side saddle lol! I was still wearing a blue dress, but now it was a long, formal blue satin gown. My hair was in a bun and I was wearing glasses, looking very much like the fairy godmother from Shrek, only taller and younger. I got off the broom and went to a tall mirror. I remember thinking how much lucid dreams are like being a witch or wizard. I decided to give my reflection a makeover. I slimmed my hands down my waist, trying to elongate my body to look more svelt. Then I created THIS SONG IN THE DREAM as I was parading around in front of the mirror. It sounded like something from a Disney movie. And the last line actually was from little mermaid, which is why is doesn't fit with the rest. But the first four lines totally came from me. I woke up right after and forced myself to remember it because it was so ridiculous!

I can make myself thinner and trimmer and slimmer,
Leaving only what makes me look niiiiiice,
I can remove all the pouches and slouches and gouches,
So that EVERYone always looks twiiiiiice.
I pull out what's inside and I serve it up fried,
God I love little fishes, don't you?