lucid

February 23, 2014

3:33 am non-lucid

I had a dream that I went to Japanese camp to teach, but when I got there together with my husband who was dropping me off, I was having second thoughts. I didn't want to be away from my husband for 2 weeks, no cell phone contact. So I had to confront my employers, who knew me since I went to Japanese camp as a teen. There was a Chinese male and a white female. Went to the back room offices to talk. At first small talk, but the Chinese man could tell something was wrong. I hugged him at one point since it's been a while since I've seen him. When I mentioned how I didn't think this was going to work, he said not all marriages work out. Then I said hold up, no, I'm talking about the job. We were confused over the word pre-meditated, or a word similar to that, which caused the misunderstanding. The word's definition in the dream eluded to something not working out, not the definition in waking life. He told me to reconsider working there and how it is only two weeks and my Japanese would improve a lot.

The lighting was very dim, like nighttime throughout the dream. I remember going out and reminiscing over the camp. Then I went over to a bunch of children's books that were about mythical native American or Inuit creatures in the snow. Theme of heritage, culture being passed down. I read one of the books, which had a theme of pride in one's culture. The book had a few foreign words in it, but not in Japanese. It could've been a book about the same content, but in Japanese, yet it wasn't. I didn't understand why.

Before I confronted my employers, there was another worker in the dream who when found out about the cell phone rule, also felt she couldn't do that. She was short, I think her hair was pulled back, dark hair. Not a language employee, instead another kind of staff. Her face kind of resembled my piano instructor's. She was encouraged to speak up after hearing that I wanted to and has a husband too. She's older than me.

I remembering arguing to the Chinese man that if only my husband could work that summer too, but couldn't because of his job, implying that he should hire him and pay him to solve things.

When contemplating, I was leaning my head on a wall or pole.

I was having second thoughts before we even left to go to the camp, which is states away, but still decided to drive there with my husband.

I felt sad to be conflicted. Loved Japanese camp so much, but had to choose between keeping my marriage strong (which could end up fine even if I did work at the camp) or working at a place I loved and grew from. Reminiscent, though setting not at all like the actual camp, as usual in dreams.

The white lady resembled my TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) instructor, who is pregnant in waking life and pregnant in the dream. Dream was in English and non-lucid.

I woke up with a song from Animal Crossing: New Leaf playing in my head. I immediately realized I had a dream when I woke up, wanted to record it and jumped to my dream journal.

Time after writing down this dream: 4:01am.

Mantra: 夢を見ることを分かっています (I will realize I'm dreaming) 野原に風で空を飛びたい (I will fly in a field using the wind)

I had asked my husband if he has had a flying dream before, and he said yes, many times. He recalled one in which he was being caught up by the wind in a field and flying really high. So I imagined using that method to fly.

4:07 am Haven't fallen asleep
4:15 am Still not asleep
4:40 am Still not asleep

6:02 am

Dream 1 MILD

I realize that I am dreaming and check through the thumb/palm RC. I am so excited to confirm my thoughts that I am dreaming by seeing my thumb go through my palm. I try to jump so that I can levitate/fly, excited that I am lucid dreaming, afraid to be short on time. The gravity is definitely not normal and I kind of float through the air as I jump, but I don't exactly get far off of the ground. This is probably because I'm inside a building.

Before I become lucid, my dream is set in my apartment at night and I feel there has been an intruder. The intruder is female and I could hear her have a phone call in Spanish and sing from my bed. My husband and I are both in the bed and I try to alert him but he doesn't really think there's any threat and just goes back to sleep. I am extremely afraid and I think at some point my husband does leave the bed and is harmed, but the scenario resets itself. I eventually realize I am dreaming and next to my bed practice jumping.

The dream is in English and was induced with MILD. Along with saying my mantas about flying, I also was a little paranoid about an intruder, though I tried to push the thought away.

Dream 2 non-lucid

I was heading towards a babysitting job for a Japanese family. When I met the mother, she talked to me in Japanese and I replied in Japanese, though I didn't remember any of the dialogue. She lived in an apartment.

I remember walking down the hall to the apartment and seeing her neighbors, who aren't Japanese. Her neighbors were intimate and I remember it being embarrassing to witness, but I don't remember what happened. I think their bathroom was in the hall and one was using the toilet, yet with no shame of being in public and still smiling and waving.

This was non-lucid.

I think I might've woken up in between the 1st and 2nd dream, or if not consciously thought in between the dreams that I need to write down my lucid dream before I forget, but instead moved onto a 2nd dream.

Time after writing down these dreams: 6:22am

I was in my house but it was a lot bigger and there was a lot of women behind a large fence, i high fived all of them and said there awesome.I went outside on my balcony and looked at the sky...then i summoned 4 meteors each bigger than the previous one, they all crashed at the same location and there was a big shock wave.The location that they all crashed became a dark hole which sucked everything nearby, after a while i stopped the sucking and went back inside the house.I remembered that i wanted to summon a special someone so i was going through the house thinking they would be behind one of the doors...sadly i didnt find her and the dream ended.

1st Lucid in almost 3 weeks and ruin it.

Pre: 100mg 5htp 930pm
WBTB: 3mg Galantamine, 250 Choline, .3 mg Melatonin. 1am.

Quite restless getting back to sleep but after about an hour I fell asleep and woke with this about an hour later.

I was at a house with my daughter and my wife. I don't remember what she was doing but my daughter was in the buff. My wife noticed that she had a pretty bad rash on her behind. I went to the bathroom to get the butt cream and all of a sudden I had to number 2 like I had bad Mexican food the night before. I almost didn't get down in time and it seemed like the earth was coming out of me. I remember wiping and thinking WTF? At this point I did a RC and bam 7 fingers

Lucid: I was pretty excited since it had been awhile since my last lucid. I stood up and grabbed some of the bottles that were on a metal shelf next to the toilet. There were lotions and whatever other stuff is on those bottle on the shelves in my bathroom. Anyways I started trying to read them to no avail really. I touched the top of the metal grated shelf and headed into the hallway. TOTM with the dog bone was on my mind and I was going to the kitchen to find one. I got to the hallway and had shouted focus a moment before. I was walking down the hall singing "FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS" very excited. I saw the cabinets above the kitchen counters. They were pretty dark and then I thought about writing on dream views after I try the dog biscuit and then thought about waking up and wham whirled out.

I don't know how many times I have done this to myself. I just need to stick to the task and think of nothing else. I laid really still for awhile afterwards trying to DEILD to no avail. I had a bunch more non lucid dreams after this but no more lucids.

So I am in this big city going to some kind of school or college, wierd cuz I'm 14. I'm in this apartment which is in like kind of a forest only 2 blocks away from the school/college. My apartment is almost exactly like my room except for some subtle changes. I walked to class. I can't remember the content of the class, only walking to it. I think that this is where the rem cycle ended. I walk back and see my neighbors at the apartment, one of which is an old man wearing black, and the other is a young girl(my age?). For some odd reason, he tells me" she is a strong one". Not thinking anything of it I go upstairs to my room and play skyrim for a while,( which I haven't played in months.) then I go back to class. After I come I see my brothers car in the drive and get excited. I walk inside where he greets me. Then my nephew( who is like 19 and his girlfriend walks in. Another couple that I Don't recognize come in the door behind them. Then my neighbors come downstairs and the phone rings. I pick it up and it says," It's where you don't want to look. It's in the corner of your eye." Suddenly everyone runs down into the basement except for the old man. I look closely at his face. Very wrinkled and pale. Then he pours this potion that eats away at ur skin like acid on his hand and then touches me. After he goes downstairs, I go upstairs looking for something to cut my arm off so it didn't spread. But then I notice my xbox was on. I then did a reality check and realized I was dreaming. Of course, with my beginners luck, I got too excited and before I could do anything before I woke myself up.

Today is my 6-month LD practice anniversary, and what better way to celebrate than to get a satisfying late morning lucid performing a TOTM, and a good night of recall.

08:00

+ (earlier waking) I'm moving through a house structure and some guys, at the end I think they want to turn me into a werewolf. Lost lots of detail.

+ I'm with college friends in our old house (WFP). I want to go out for a break from studying. I have a bit of trouble speaking but I eventually get it out that I just want to go out for an hour, let's go get something to eat. I know we have a lot of studying to do, people are not enthusiastic about coming out. I walk into the house and see my good friend housemate N.I. Someone mentions going to Jack In The Box. I say "do you mean the one by SP Blvd?" I think everyone's coming out with us, but it ends up that they just want to put in their order with me and we go out and bring it back. One guy tells me his order, something with chicken, I have trouble understanding his order, we need to pay him back, he said no, (me and NI) already paid him back. I see some young women in the kitchen of the house.

+ In a silver-colored large empty building. It is a hospital. There is criticism of them painting it silver/gray, since when cars drive by the headlights will reflect strongly off the paint and disturb the patients. Also the color is scaring people, it's not white, it's not black, it's right in the middle. I'm standing and looking at it for a while. It makes a silvery shiny reflection inside the building and is not good. Daylight outside, somewhat dark outside, it's completely empty.

I turn around and go to leave, I'm with NI from WFP, there is a rack of equipment and books, introductory books and kits about how to work with microprocessors (like the Stamp chip), I say "hey look at that" and gesture with my hand towards them as we go by, NI then grabs one like he's going to shoplift it. I'm mortified by this, I think we'll get caught, I look for a security camera, I see one on the wall, I point it out to him, I say "there's going to get you." He says he better put it back. I think that it's OK because we haven't left the place with the item yet so it can't be considered shoplifting.

+ I'm in a khaki/tan colored tent, it's completely closed, I'm sleeping in there with some other guy. It's a tall pointy-topped tent. I look at the guy's face, he opens his eyes, the face is slightly distorted, something's not quite right, he has blue eyes, he's freaked out because there's no "outside," I tell him "it's ok, it's ok, outside there is blue sky and sunlight, shall we open the tent and see the sunlight?" He says yes. I zip open the front of the tent, we see the outdoors including blue sky, he's calmed down by this. There are several walkways leading away from the tent, one more or less straight ahead bending a bit to the left, another goes off to the right. There are buildings in between the two paths, it's in some sort of complex/compound.

About 20 feet away down the right path are sitting 3 guys kind of dark-skinned , as soon as I open the tent they get up and head my way. I have a feeling "uh oh this can't be good." About 5 feet away they make demands, "give us all your stuff except for (something)!". They're threatening us clearly. I call over my shoulder to my tent-mate and say "call 911 tell them we're being robbed!" Of the 3 one guy goes off down another path (to head off assistance?), 2nd guy disappears, 3rd guy comes up demanding the stuff. I'm frightened but I resolve not to give him anything. We start struggling/grappling. At one point he's behind me, I reach back over my head grabbing his head/shoulders and lean forwards trying to throw him over me. Doesn't quite work. I think though this guy is not used to anybody putting up a struggle. I think "wow people just give things to him without a struggle." At some point my wife comes by and helps in the fight against the robber.

He disappears, I'm looking over down a balcony to a walkway below (I'm on the 2nd floor). There are Indian (Asian) security woman walking around with guns. One reaches up to me (somehow!) and hands me some things. Some are small gold colored keys, I ask "are these the keys to my room?". "Yes" they answer. They also give me a security key. It's like a 6-inch wide fork with a dozen or more tines. On the left 4 prongs are bent down fully, and one on the end is bent down halfway. "Well no wonder those guys (the robbers) were able to get in, this is such a simple combination!"

They also give me a gun, a 6-shot revolver, and 4 bullets for it. There is something not quite right (vs. a real gun), it has a typical cylinder, a trigger, it's in my hand I feel the trigger, I think "where's the safety?" I don't want to shoot myself or anybody by accident. I'm rotating the cylinder and wonder if I should put it on a bullet or an empty. An empty is safer but on a bullet is ready for a fight. I see a little safety switch on a (weird) horizontal platter behind the cylinder. I try putting on the safety and pulling the trigger and it seems like the gun will fire and think that's a crappy safety, I look to the right of the cylinder and see a larger golden safety mechanism, and that seems to lock up the trigger well, but if I pull it really hard a mechanism lifts up from the platter and the gun will fire but it's much much harder.

I take the gun and go out and have fake battles with it, I point it at some guys and think about hitting them in their arms, aiming for the body since it's the biggest target, I'm jumping over some counter hiding from an Indian (Asian) woman who's after me, I then turn and track her and think about shooting her (don't do it though), and how video games have helped my aim.

+ I'm in an outdoor tent, there's a guy there who's a trainer, I'm learning different technique, I'm looking at him, he's choosing the next thing that I should study, he's looking at a screen with the picture of a staff, and I think "yes! I'd like to learn to fight with a staff!" In a foreign language the item is labelled "lepeshka" which I know means some kind of bread, not a fighting staff.

+ In a gas station? There are gas pumps, a guy there is training how to fight against bears. He's down a ramp and successfully fights off two bears. He says "trained bears always go for the head." Their hands go for your head. You bend your arms and put your arms on each side of your head and hold your head with your hands to defend. You then take "two offensive steps backwards." Then he has me try it. I come face to face with a weird pig-bear thing with no discernible face, it's a snuffling grunting muzzle but tall with brown hair. This thing does grab my head. It's in my face with its faceless snuffling snout I take two aggressive steps backwards and think "is that it?"

12:34

lots of dozing on and off, sleep on stomach at one point and dream, but lucid is on my right side

+ revisited the scene of the tent + robber fight. I'm approaching the gates of the compound from the outside. There's a black guy in leather, not sure if he's security or not. Get in the gate, I "recognize" it as the place of the earlier battle. There's a picnic table with scuzzy low-life sorts sitting down at it to the left, I think "we have to get rid of those guys." There is a big lawn of grey clumpy dead grass. I have a thought about lucidity looking at this grass. I'm talking to the head of security who is a black man (he may be Morgan Freeman), I say "ok this time I want a security room with an exit in the back so I have somewhere to escape if I'm attacked from the front." In front of me is a big red (white window trimmings) multi-story building (3-4 floors tall), convex curved, bending back to the left and right. The next time I look up it's a 5-6 story tall elegant futuristic building with totally transparent glass walls facing the yard. Very elegant / rich quarters I can see. I'm hoping to get a central suite with a great view but realize I probably won't, they're for the bigwigs, there's a suite off to the left with a worse view and I think it will do.

+ I'm somewhere up in one of those suites. There are plates of fancy deserts. I see a jelly-tart with a prawn on it, I take a bite, I realize as I bite that I'm very full and I'm not hungry. It tastes like shrimp. There's a woman eating the same pastry thing I am, I ask "did you taste the shrimp?" She says "it's shrimp eggs." I think it's a bizarre pasty flavor.

+ I'm at my childhood park. I have to get by a robot wielding a giant wrench, I get by it. I'm attaching something to the old metal swing frame, with a wrench. It's some sort of bicycle / trainer. Two older more experienced guys are there, now that this is installed we have to use it, and ride a million miles on it, we'll meet back here "about 1am-ish." There's a van and some conversation with people inside it, something about the C. family and AIDS.

+ Still in my childhood park at the same place. I'm on the middle level, looking down to the basketball courts. Enormous pipes are shooting out huge volumes of torrential raging water on to the lower level. There are giant drains where the water is going down. I see a huge bag full of ceramic planters 1m in diameter getting blown easily by the water across the courts. I go around turning off faucets which shuts off the water. I walk down the left-side path and take a drink from a drinking fountain. I (imagine?) a conversation with the mayor and I mention that I just happened to be on hand and turned off the water. I get down to the bottom and see the bag of planters.

+ I'm in a park/playground, in shade, I see a car and people doing something under the car, (are they trying to steal it I'm thinking), there are lots of people around. I'm following some kids, I see topless boys and girls and am amazed because I know they don't do that in America. I'm walking through a few doorways, in one doorway are the parents of one of the kids, a father (to the left) and a mother (to the right), emerging on to a sandy playground area. I grab the mother and bring her with me, and I realize I'm dreaming. It feels hazy at first and I have to "push" my head into clear lucidity, it still feels hazy, but I get a grip and rub my hands and things stabilize. I have the woman standing in front of me looking at me at arms length.

( I keep rubbing my hands and rubbing my fingers against my palms while I'm talking to her.)
(My first lucid interactive conversation with a DC!)

Me: "Hi, my name's (my name), what's your name?"
DC: "Susannah."

She had short hair. Looked to be about 30. I remembered the TOTM! I'm finally going to get my wings I think!

Me: "Who is your one true love? Who is your soulmate?"
DC: (looks confused).

All this time I'm moving around, slowly rotating, moving around the playground, she stays right across from me at arms length, I'm rubbing my fingers against my palms.

Me: "Who is your one true love?"
DC: "My husband."

I'm satisfied that I've completed the TOTM and relax a bit, and caveman dream me (CDM) takes over.

CDM: (with a mischievous expression) "Have you ever kissed another man?....."
Without waiting for an answer I (CDM?) grabs her chest with both my hands and start squeezing.

CDM: "You have beautiful t*ts"

and I slooowly fade to awake. Nooo! Always just when it gets "good" I remain still and have a full-body tingly feeling and think I could really get back in, but I know it's late in the morning and I want to record.

Was being bombarded by thousands of little black birds. I was at my house's backyard hiding under a table. Then after the fourth round of diving I ran for my house. The bird's instantly left and I saw my mom and told her to check out the dogs in the backyard. I told her that Bella (one of my dogs) was going to do a cool jumping trick. Bella jumped, but remained suspended in the air. At that point I said, no way is this a dream? So I nose-pinched and sure enough it was!
"Mom, I'm dreaming!"
"Good for you!"
I went outside and started losing lucidity, but with rubbing my hands it took me about 30 seconds to stabilize.
My backyard was the exact same as it is currently. I was amazed. However, my neighbors places were completely different. One neighbor's house was actually a sheer drop down to the ocean when a gigantic submarine lay on shore and buried under part of the cliff.
After looking around I decided to use some powers. I tried too hard at first, scrunching the muscles in my hand, but then after trying more softly, I could manipulate whatever I wanted.
I decided not to summon anyone or fly because now that I was lucid, I wanted to teach myself how to make myself lucid dream more often and then start doing tons of fun stuff.
However, I woke up, but in my living room at home that I was currently many many miles away from. False awakening, but I didn't catch it... Now I know to reality check whenever and wherever I wake up.

#1
I am at a rather busy gas station with several other people, including the wife. There are security guards there and they have a policy that forbids taking of photographs. Those at the gas station have two options: 1. Give their phones/cameras to the security guards, or 2. Show the guards the "first and last photos" on said devices. I opt to give my phone to the guards. They disable it by taking a part off. I do not mind as I want to comply with the policy. Soon I am in the back of the gas station on a grassy hill with some unknown people. They want to smoke weed. I decide that even thought it has been 10 years, I will join them. We smoke out of some long, blue, dragon shaped pipe. I worry it will make me fall asleep. Then we are laying in the grass, which we can miraculously pull up over us like blankets. We look up at the night sky. There are beautiful stars all around. Next I am inside the station, in the stock room in the back. I am preparing to go somewhere by putting my shoes on. I notice there is weed strewn about on a shelf with other trash and debris. I pick it up. It looks like high quality. An employee peeks in and says "no talking to the security guards."

#2

I am in a car with the wife and several other people. We are driving along a wooded road. There are hills on either side of the road. Nestled in the hills are beautiful, ornate victorian greenhouses. They are all white wood framed and glass. There are small, wispy clouds around the peaks of the roofs of each. I think "it must be from the humidity escaping through the vents." The greenhouses are on both sides of the road. Each is more ornate and beautiful than the last.
The last set are strange and futuristic. They are made of rectangular glass units. The units are stacked into various strange and seemingly impossible shapes. Then the units seem to be tents, with people in some of them, people leaving others. We arrive at a dusty, desert nature preserve. There are more of the tent units on impossible ridges and locations high in the hills. People are crawling along narrow paths to reach them. We lay down on the ground for some reason. Pebbles start to tumble down the cliff, small rocks that do not hurt us. They gradually increase in size until i tell everyone we need to get up or get crushed.
I am then going to go for a hike with my wife. My parents are going to watch my children. I walk through a trailer that has been converted into a kitchen. My wife goes around the structure on the outside. I hear her voice through he windows. I see loads of fruit stacked in the trailer. There are a peaches and bananas. I exit the trailer and do not see my wife. I go back in looking for her and see the fruit again. She is not there. I go out to see if she is outside. she is not. I go in again. not there. I go out and realize as I open the door "This is strange...I am dreaming!!"
Lucid, i drop some food that I have in my hands and immediately rub them together to stabilize the dream. I call out "maximum clarity and stability please!" Everything becomes amazingly vivid and crisp! I leap into the air and fly loop-de-loops under the wooden awning. I begin to sing the mantra of Avalokiteshvara as I am flying. After 5 repetitions, the dream fades and I wake up in my bed.

WBTB: I fell asleep at 10, woke up at 2:30. I practiced MILD as I fell asleep and awoke from this dream at 4:30.

Today i dreamt i was in my appartment hall, i was climbing up stairs trying to find money
i crouched on the stairs and i found 1 euro, my mom was on stairs above me i showed her the coin
and she said "So it finally was there" i was happy to find it, and i was looking for further more.
i found 1 more coin. then i decided to go to the last floor, i climbed the stairs and stopped on the middle
of the stairs and where it was the 2 doors, i looked above. then i did a reality check. it was the thumb-handed one.
i saw my thumb and my other hand, slowly my thumb collapsed with my other hand, and i clearly saw it got through.
and i said "I'm dreaming" Although i had no control, and my body wasn't on the dream environment either :/


Dream elements:

-in my appartment hall
-mom
-1 euro

Technique used: WBTB

hours slept: 4 hours

It started with me being on a ledge and there was sea all around me i summoned a giant humanoid statue that would carry me across the sea to the first island i saw.
I saw an island and it was all in cubes i said to the statue to go away and it vanished while i was exploring the island and i thought i should apologize to my subconscious for ignoring it all these years, i said im sorry and i heard a reply saying its ok, then i asked it if it could help me get lucid more and i got a reply yeah, the dream ended there.

Now this to me was a weird one, and there is going to be a lot of side notes to go along with it.

Dream: I am in my elementary school music room (Kind of a weird setting for a dream.) and I am have the spear from this cartoon that I drew of parallels to my dream characters.
And the actual content was rather lame. I had the spear, and I was in the music classroom. Non-lucid, just twirling it around and practicing with it calmly, trying to feel for how much control I had over the spear.
For those who don't know, this is a personal ensign that I created, meant to represent the letters L D (For Lucid Dreaming) I have this ensign drawn on post it notes that I place around the house, and on the covers of my schoolbooks. It is a sign to remind me to reality check. If I can get this sign to appear in my dream, then bang! easy lucid!

I also had a particularly interesting semi-lucid dream. I was playing some sort of video game and the main character was a young African American girl who lived in a small tribal village setting. I somewhat knew this was a dream or a "mental simulation" of sorts.
Anyways, this mental simulation/video game was similar to an RPG and you could level your character up by doing certain tasks. I decided to focus on running and achieving maximum speed. So I ran from the village into this forest area where I encountered some large hermit crabs that were supposedly enemies in the game. But they fled when I came near them.
I then encountered (and I'm not kidding here) a tyrannosaurs rex that chased me. Luckly my running skill was leveling up and I was able to outrun him. I returned to the village area where I would have to eat and sleep and prepare for the next day of game-play. Also, because the dream was in third person it was not very vivid.

Attached Thumbnails

   

LUCID
*I knew I was dreaming driving a car in a parking garage. Just a moment of lucidity. Then I ended up out of the car throwing up. At this point in the dream I was not lucid.

01/19/14

Two Worlds
I am in a place I don't recognize. It is a futuristic looking city. There are many people walking around, simply going about their daily business. No one seems upset or anything. They are talking to each other about mundane topics. There are various races present, some of them look human and others look far from being human. There are also robots. A robot that looks similar to a C3-P0 unit politely says excuse me as he comes up behind me. I look and realize I am standing in the middle of a walkway. I mutter an apology and step out of the way. The robot wishes me a nice day and continues on his way. The humanoid reptile behind him isn't so polite. She is going on about how could a mere robot have the nerve to expect a real person to move aside for him. She says she can't believe the nerve of some of these artificials. Right now I am thinking I would much rather hang out with the C3-P0 unit than her. She is just rude and annoying. After seeing she isn't going to get any response out of me she continues on her way, now muttering expletives about people who love artificials. I follow after her for a short while, not sure if she has anything to do with why I might be here. She finally stops and turns back to me. She asks what my problem is, am I having sex with that damn artificial? If I am it makes her sick. I tell her that who I am having sex with is none of her business. She snoots her nose up in the air and walks off.

I am trying to decide if I should bother following the grouch any more… I am considering doing it just to piss her off… when someone shoves me out of the way rather rudely. I look to see who and I spot the back side of a lombax in a really big hurry. I recognize that lombax! It's Ratchet from the Ratchet and Clank games! He pushes past the rude reptilian woman who gives him a piece of her mind in a stream of expletives… but he is already gone and she finds she is cursing out someone who appears to be a human male. The man thinks she is cursing at him and tells her to shut the fuck up, calling her lizard brain. She seems offended by that, which seems ironic to me. The bigot bitch is now the subject of racism. She fluffs up some strange hood type thing around her head and gets all indignant and walks away in a huff. I am about to follow Ratchet when I hear something else. Someone is calling out Ratchet's name and telling him to come back here, why are you doing this? Of course Ratchet is long gone and could not possibly hear the person calling him. I go to investigate the person calling instead. I can track Ratchet down later if I need to.

I follow the voice that called Ratchet and find a small work room. There are computers all over the place as well as an array of tools. Some of the tools are put away neatly while others are strewn on a work table. Clank is here, he is standing on the work table. He is connected to a large object sitting on the floor by what looks like a long extension cord. Wtf? He isn't looking when I come in and apparently thinks Ratchet has come back. He says he is glad I have finally come to my senses… now put his robotic ignition system right back where it belongs, and he'd better have a good explanation as to… Now Clank turns around and sees me at the door, he sees I am not Ratchet. I tell him I don't know what is going on, but I saw Ratchet running down the street as if he was being chased by a blargian snagglebeast. I tell him I believe I have been brought here to help… so what is going on? Clank looks mad for a bit, then he just looks sad. He says he wishes he knew, but he doesn't think I can be much help unless I have a robotic ignition system. I tell him I can get one of those… I think… I access the penticon chip in my brain and ask if it can replicate a robotic ignition system. It scoffs at me and says of course, just upload the exact specifications. There is a pause, Clank looks at me strangely, and then a mechanical device appears on the work table. My penticon reports the replication is complete. Clank picks up the device, opens a panel in his side, plugs a couple things in to the device before putting the whole device inside and closing the panel. He then unplugs the extension cord. He says he's glad to be off of that thing. I ask what that is. He says it's a backup power source… his internal power system won't function without the robotic ignition system… which Ratchet stole! I ask why would he do that? Clank says he doesn't know, just that he seemed to be in a big hurry when he was setting up the backup power supply… which Clank hadn't realized what that was for at the time… but there must be something wrong. The Ratchet he knows would never have done that…

Well it seems there is a bit of a mystery, and I guess I have to track Ratchet down after all. I sniff the air and comment that I smell a Templar, more to myself than to anyone around. Clank asks what that is. I say it's like saying I smell a rat, only far, far worse. A Templar… smells like the stuff that comes out of the south end of a north bound blargian snagglebeast. He cocks his head and looks at me strangely. I comment that someone is going to eat dirt. Clank apparently thinks I mean Ratchet because he says no, don't kill Ratchet… there must be a very good explanation, he's sure of it… there has to be… I tell him I don't mean Ratchet… I mean someone else I know named Robert de Sable who I suspect is somehow behind everything. He's a Templar. Gotta go find him and Ratchet before something happens that can't be undone so easily as replacing a robotic ignition system.

I head out of the work shop quickly, but I am sure Ratchet is long gone. I am wondering how to best find him when I see a ship fly overhead. It looks like the ships that are often used in the Ratchet and Clank games. I scan it with my penticon quickly and confirm Ratchet is on board. I summon my fire valkyrie, teleport aboard. I hear Clank following after me and saying he wants to come, so I also teleport him aboard. I follow after Ratchet as he heads into space. In space I use the communicator to contact Ratchet. At first he doesn't respond at all but then he apparently realizes Clank is with me and answers. He seems glad to see Clank is ok, though he also seems surprised and says he'd been told the replacement robotic ignition system wasn't due in until tomorrow… I say I replicated one. Clank wants to know what's going on. I can't really tell if Clank is pissed off or worried or what. He says there's no time to explain, there's something he's got to do… and shuts off communication. The other ship is preparing to go to warp drive, so I use a tractor beam and hold it in place. That gets Ratchet's attention back really quick and he makes contact again, now saying to let him go or they'll all be killed. All of who? The lombaxes! And he's already late, it might already be too late! Clank seems annoyed now, he says if there are lombaxes in danger, why didn't Ratchet just say so? Ratchet should have known Clank would help… Ratchet says no, he has to go alone, those are the rules. He has to give himself up or that bastard is going to kill all of them. Clank says it's no doubt a trap. Ratchet looks at something off to his side and then looks like the world is about to end. He says it's too late now… there's no way he can get there in time. I comment my ship can get there in time. Just tell me where. And there won't be any flying into a trap alone, either. He repeats he has to go alone or that bastard is going to destroy the whole planet. I use Of Wolf and Man to transform into Ratchet. Ok… now where? Clank and Ratchet are both staring at me now. I tell Ratchet if time really is running out, I just need to know where to go. Clank asks if I'm not worried that whoever this is will just kill me instead. I say no. Not at all worried. I got abilities this guy has certainly never even had nightmares about. Let's see if this asshole is counting on meeting up with a formshifting virus.

Well now I look like Ratchet, but I figure the asshole in question might also notice if a fire valkyrie comes flying in. So I use the ship computer to open a wormhole to the coordinates Ratchet provides. I tell him I'll use my transporter to swap places with him, just take my ship back to the planet, I need to use his to make sure the asshole doesn't notice a difference. He agrees to it, and my penticon does the teleportation. It feels a bit strange to see someone else sitting in the pilot's seat of my fire valkyrie… but I figure it will be ok. I fly through the wormhole. On the other side I can tell I am now on the outskirts of the galaxy. It is quite an amazing view. There is a space station hovering in the emptiness of space. That is where Ratchet has been told to go, so that is where I will go. I fly over to the station. I get a communication from the station. The transmission is from a strange alien that I recognize from the Ratchet and Clank series, he's a cragmite. Looks like Percival Tachyon from the later games. So I figure he probably wants to get rid of Ratchet, me now, because he (I'm) a lombax. He's just being an asshole. He says I am late. That is bullshit. I tell him I'm fucking early. He doesn't really respond, but the landing bay of the station opens up so I land.

In the landing bay I find I am surrounded by numerous strange creatures that look like fish wearing suits of armor. Weird. My first thought is that the sushi is delivering itself. But I figure I had better not resist or that damn Tachyon is going to do whatever it is he has been threatening to do. They use some kind of restraint to secure my hands behind my back. I test it a bit. Yeah, my viral strength can snap it like a twig. I do nothing but go with them, however. Gotta find the head of the snake. I follow the fish people into a large control room where Tachyon is standing right beside a console with a very distinctive red button. He is laughing at something. I see the largest display screen shows a city inhabited by lombaxes. I wonder where that is. Tachyon now that I'm here the show can begin. He tells me to say goodbye to the rest of my kind. While his behavior doesn't really surprise me at all, it does still piss me off. I say he gave his word that if I came he wouldn’t do that. My penticon is talking to me at the same time. It says it has accessed the targeting system and found a more appropriate target. Tachyon acts like he is surprised, then says he wouldn't have said that… I am trying to talk Tachyon out of firing the weapon, because I am not sure I can get to him before he can push the button. Maybe… but I'm not wanting to take that chance. My attempts to convince him to not do it seem to amuse him. He clearly doesn't care that the lombaxes on the screen have done nothing to him… the last thing I comment is that when someone does something like that it inevitably comes back to bite them in the ass. He says there's no one to make him pay.

So Tachyon is laughing his ass off when he makes a show of pushing the button. Nothing happens. He stops laughing and looks at the screen which still shows a city with lombaxes going about their daily business. He pushes the button again. Still nothing. He pushes it several more times, getting more frustrated with every push. I can't help but point out how anti-climatic that was. He is pissed and pounding on the button. I look over at a screen near the firing button. There's a gage that had been maxed out just a few minutes ago, now it is sitting on empty. It is the reading for the weapon charge level. I tell Tachyon it clearly already fired… maybe he needs to check his targeting coordinates. He stops pushing the red button and looks at the gage. He then looks at a terminal and begins typing something on it. He says something can't be, seems visibly upset by it. The scene of lombaxes on the screen is replaced by a scene showing the debris of what may have recently been a planet. He looks at the console, at the screen, then he glares over at me and asks how the fuck I managed to do that. I tell him I did nothing… he did that. What did you do? Blow up the wrong fucking planet? My penticon reports to me that he has successfully destroyed the planet where the cragmites had ended up after the lombaxes had sent them through a dimensional portal. I do a face palm… a double… I need more hands. He blew up his own planet!

Tachyon is pissed off beyond belief at me. He seems to think I somehow managed to access his computer system and retarget the weapon all while being restrained and right in front of him trying to talk him out of firing it. I tell him nope, this is all him. I told him it would bite him in the ass… He insists on saying I will pay for it and so will all of those other filthy lombaxes. Well I don't particularly want to consume this one… I am thinking his thoughts and memories might be too repulsive… but I also want to know if he has had dealings with Robert de Sable, if that is why I was brought here. I tell him maybe he was given a defective weapon… by who? The name wouldn't happen to be Robert de Sable, would it? He stops mid rant and looks at me. He looks like he has just figured it all out. He says Robert de Sable must be my friend! I knew the whole time that the weapon wouldn't fire where he aimed it because my friend Robert de Sable set me up. I tell him Robert is no friend of mine… but that does explain where a dumb cragmite managed to get hold of an interdimensional planet destroyer weapon. I smell a Templar. He says it doesn't matter… as soon as the weapon is charged he will make sure it is aimed at the lombax planet and blow them all out of existence. He pushes a couple buttons on the controls and the power gage starts rising as the weapon is recharging.

I decide I have had enough of Tachyon. More than enough, really. I tell him the only ones about to not exist are him and his pal Robert. He laughs at me and says there's nothing I can do about it. If it wasn't for the fact he wants me to see the rest of the lombaxes wiped out of the galaxy I'd already be dead. I tell him he talks a lot… that's because he's weak. And pathetic. He says I'm in no position to be insulting him. I break the restraints like a twig. He backs up a couple steps. He points at me and say GET HIM! So that's his whole plan? Not going to work on a virus. I don't bother shifting back to my normal form, but I do activate an Alex Mercer blade on my right arm. There are fish people all around me in their futuristic armor. My blade slices through their armor like a hot knife through butter. So I cut down the enemies that attack me. I see Tachyon staring at that scene for a bit before he apparently decides it would be a good idea to make a hasty retreat. This guy is as much of a flaky chicken-wuss as Robert himself! Come back here, you flaky jerk! Feel my blade! I am about to chase after Tachyon when I see the power gage on the weapon is at full… and still climbing. It is now overcharging. It is entering the red zone. The intercom system is now warning of imminent detonation if the charge is not stopped.

Forget Tachyon. He will most likely blow up with his station. Just to be sure the overcharge can't be aborted I smash the controls before leaving. I head back the way the fish people brought me from. My ship, or really Ratchet's ship, is still sitting in the landing bay. I jump into the ship and launch out of there. I am flying away from the station when there is a blinding explosion behind me… the whole thing just blew up. I wonder if there is any chance Tachyon got out of that alive. I figure if he did, at least he won't have access to an interdimensional planet destroyer weapon now. Scans show no signs of life in the vicinity. So I just have to go back to Ratchet and Clank and tell them the lombax planet is safe, and Tachyon is most likely subatomic particles. I use the penticon chip in my brain to open the wormhole I need to get back quickly. I land Ratchet's ship near my own fire valkyrie, which is landed not far from the work room where I originally found Clank. I get out of the ship and go to the work room. Both Ratchet and Clank are there, though I get the idea they haven't been getting along too well. I hope Robert didn't succeed in fucking things up between them with his stupid interference… I tell them that the planet destroyer is gone, Tachyon is space dust. Or at least I think he's space dust. I didn't actually see him explode. Ratchet seems relieved at that news. Clank still looks kind of pissed. It seems Ratchet is just giving him some space. I don't know if it makes any difference, but I flood the room with positive energy with a song spell I hum to myself. It does seem to have some effect. Clank doesn't look as mad, he asks me what that strange melody is. I say it is called Voices, from a show where I come from called Macross. Well all I can do is hope what Robert did doesn't leave any lasting effect, because it is here that I wake up.

Night of February 21, 2014. Friday.

Dream #: 17,231-05. Reading time: 1 min 18 sec. Readability score: 45.



I become aware that I am dreaming. I first perceive myself to be in a featureless room in semidarkness. Soon, there is the perception of my thoughts and awareness expanding. As a result, a staircase forms with the simultaneous presence of white noise.

As it appears, it creates the impression of hissing “snowflakes” (white points of light) suddenly coming together to form a white staircase in front of me with the appearance of a photographic negative. Rather than ascending it to investigate, I decide to walk out through a door to my right to wake, but I wake to feel blessed and loved.

---

My dream had subliminal influence from a scene from “The Other,” a 1972 horror film, in which Niles is placing cattails everywhere in the barn, including the staircase. (Additionally, carrying and moving the cattails results in a rustling sound similar to white noise.) Even so, it correlates with the autosymbolic construct of the dreaming and waking processes.

A staircase, which is a factor of vestibular system correlation, becomes a feature in a dream when I either anticipate or subliminally, liminally, or concurrently will a difference in the level of dream state focus of awareness and anticipate changes in perception of my illusory physicality. It is used in meditation and hypnosis to go into and out of different levels of consciousness. Descending the staircase typically correlates with entering the state while ascending correlates with the waking process.

Precursory contemplation of a vestibular system simulacrum (a projection of the subliminal, liminal, or concurrent anticipation of the waking process) occurs here but does not complete. In the movie, the character Ada (falsely perceived as an angel in the scene in the first moments) attempts to kill Niles by burning the barn down, but he escapes through a door as she jumps into the fire.

It is intriguing how the subliminal recall of a horror movie can result in a dream of a very different nature with a satisfying outcome.

---

This has been a rather strange night for me. Firstly, I had a mnemonically induced lucid dream, though I was still at a fairly low level of awareness. I soon consciously oversaw this dream collapse into blackness; but that was not the end of it. In retrospect, I'm not sure if I really retained memory and consciousness of my dreaming throughout the experience or if I inadvertently performed at least one DEILD or just a WBTB; but after I believed the dream to be gone, I became lucid again in the next dream - and, in a way, the same dream - several times. And becoming more and more aware each time.

In the first of these dreams, I was in my home, getting ready for school and my mother was packing my lunch for me. With apparent spontaneity, I then realised that I was dreaming. I tried to exercise my dream freedom and act with the truth in mind that nothing I said or did before a dream character had any real repercussions. So I approached my mother's dream character and, taking note of her complacent reaction, took her arm and, after a brief delay, passed my hand/finger through it, for no reason other than to check the power that I had. After this, the dream was broken.

I felt myself lying within my bed, remembering that I'd just had a lucid dream but now seeing naught but blackness. I wanted to go back to the lucid dream. I tried not moving in my current position and going back to where I had just been. In the next dream, I was already aware on some level that this was a dream, though I'm not sure if it was from the very beginning.

Upon performing some kind of reality check, I made sure that I was dreaming once again. Also, I saw this dream beginning in a similar way to last time, as if it was that dream happening all over again. This time, however, I decided to build on my previous, faulty experience. I tried transporting myself away from my current location, which was then in my own bedroom and with my mother’s dream character, in which I had no interest and who was inhibiting my ability to think freely without worry of consequences.

I thought of where a good place to transport myself inside my dream might be and, at least in part remembering the bonus task of the month that's in place right now on this website, I tried transporting myself to a mountain covered in snow. But instead of changing my environment, all my dream did was put me in front of my computer monitor, still in my bedroom, and turn it into a video game that was set atop a snowy mountain. It wasn't even that fun of a game but I went on to play it anyway, rather than protest or attempt to go bigger, because I imagined that I had myself made some sort of mistake and that that was the best my mind could be expected to do under the circumstances. This shows that I still didn't have the brightest level of dream awareness.

In what was either my next dream or a distant continuation of my current one, I endeavoured to truly go to the snowy mountain once again and shouted at my subconscious, as a dream control method I'd learned, to turn my scene into that. However, I could only partially manage the transformation. When I looked around, there were still my mother's dream character and some pieces of furniture from my own house standing there. Soon, I lost my grip on the dream again.

These times when the dreams kept fading were not something that felt like they could be stopped. I don’t remember seeing any warning signals before they fell apart to keep my grasp on the dream; at some point, sooner or later, I simply saw my dream environments disappear and be replaced by blackness, followed by an apparent realisation that I was lying in my bed. Yet every time, I retained that light of dream lucidity.

Every next lucid dream I had, I seemed to gain more and more lucidity and dream awareness - though it still wasn’t as impressive as I’d have endeavoured for in the end. In my next dream, however, after performing a reality check by observing the anomalous face of a clock, I remembered the goals I'd formed long before to use in-dream techniques to increase my dream’s lucidity as much as possible. I was in my living room, where I saw a couple of superheroes hanging out (without finding it strange) and I rubbed my hands together. As I did this, my dream really did come to look more vivid. This was the first time I've ever used this hand-rubbing technique, along with a direct shout to my mind to increase the lucidity, in one of my lucid dreams.

This technique turned out to be successful. The scene before me had become clear and vibrant; but then, for some reason, I kept seeing momentary interludes of blackness in my vision, as if I had been blinking very rapidly or as if frames in the dream movie were breaking up. One of the dream characters who sat before me noted this. The dream then broke again.

In my next dream, I started back at my bedroom and looked at the clock, as I remembered having done last time. The numbers were wonky and the hands were off-centre, which was well enough to clue me into the fact that I was dreaming yet again. My mother's dream character actually came along and helped show me how strange it looked, now aiding me with the reality check. I picked myself up where I left off, with rubbing my hands to increase lucidity (which eventually faded if not cared for enough) in the living room, with superheroes on my couch.

I appeared on the balcony of my home and decided to fly off. As I was flying past one of the tall buildings in my neighbourhood, I detected supervillain activity inside of it (to the superheroes on my couch?) and resolved to confront it. I also detected some kind of note from the villain - like a ransom note. But, since reading tends to be so difficult in dreams, I struggled to make any sense of it. I paid so much attention to trying to read the note, not taking this important detail into mind, that I must have been losing awareness points by now. And my dream broke once again.

Next time, I knew right away that I was dreaming and I became extra-wary to preserve my dream and my awareness and to avoid confusing situations that I couldn’t control. Also, this was the first time when I started off in a different setting. I was in a school environment, one that was in chaos. There were people running around in the classroom and there was a teacher standing in front of me, who clearly was not happy. On the desk beside her were test papers and each one seemed to have a bad score on it - as well as vastly varying score denominators. One of them had a score of only 5 of an unrealistically large number, with too many zeroes to count. This, the teacher, was the score I had gotten on her last test. I was trying to not let this dream get to me and retain my lucidity; but it wasn't always easy. This scene was particularly dark and intimidating.

I remember having other dreams that succeeded this one; but I doubt any more of them were lucid. I don't have much recollection of these dreams anyway, so there isn't much more to say.

Although I'd looked forward to lucid dreaming as this night began, by the end of it, I was feeling kind of drained - even a little turned off to lucid dreaming the following day. Hopefully, as I gain knowledge and experience, dream control and retaining awareness will be easier in DILDs that I experience in the future.

I was in a bar-restaurant but there were no booths, only communal tables. I was sitting with a couple really good friends and a lot of their friends that I didn't really know at all. This gorgeous girl that looks just like this actress sat down next to me and we started talking. I kind of have a thing for mousy looking girls.


She embodied everything that I love in a partner (kind, compassionate, funny, weird,...). After hanging out with her for awhile she ended up exchanging phone #'s with one of my best friends. In the dream they were meant to be together and it made me very sad. I woke up after that.

Then the dream started over. This time, instead of exchanging phone numbers they got up to leave together and I stood up too and walked over to talk to my buddy. I calmly said to him, "I just became lucid". Then I tried to make the girl like me instead of him but she just turned into a lifeless puppet zombie that did whatever I asked. All her actions were very crude and vulgar. I didn't like it so I let her be her own character and she went back to my friend. I woke up again.

Dream started over. The girl was the bartender this time, and I was semi-lucid at the start. I sat down at the bar and talked with her for awhile as she mixed drinks. I wanted to prevent her from even meeting my friend. Ten to fifteen minutes passed and I went to sit down at the table again. She brought us drinks and I looked around for my friend and I couldn't see him. The girl disappeared outside and I heard a gunshot. She had shot herself in the head and there were bits of brain and bone all over the pavement outside. I somehow found out that she had found my friend, dead, in the bathroom. He had killed himself by taking a lot of opiates. A little too Romeo and Juliet for me. I woke up and felt a great emptiness in my chest.