memorable

I am supposed to kill a woman who is with me, but before I can even think about that, I am attacked by each type of Halo alien from the game. Luckily I have a rocket launcher, a rail gun, and a machine gun with me, and manage to fight them off. Nearly out of ammo, a large machine that fires a rail gun comes in, and starts shooting at me.

I see that I had 2 team mates, but they didn't survive the first waves. Now out of ammo for all but the rail gun, I shoot this machine so many times with it, until it finally collapses.

A second one comes in, and I use the rest of the rail gun ammo, as I dodge its shots to finish it off. I am now completely out of ammo.

The woman shows me to some bricks I could use to smash her head, but I don't want to kill her. I then find a large knife in my pocket, and she tells me to cut her throat. She then grabs me and we start dancing in a dark room, filled with strangers. She puts the my hand with the knife to her neck, and tells me to do it, but I decline.

Some people pull at the knife I am holding, trying to get it away from me, but I hold onto it, and continue to dance with this woman. I put the knife in its sheath, and pull a paper out of my pocket.

I am now back in the room with Halo monster corpses all around, and a greenish blue lighting coming from somewhere. A friend of mine takes the paper from my hand and stabs at a woman's face on it, telling me to do the same to this woman. I poke a few holes in the paper, and then notice that I don't see the woman anywhere on the page.

I flip the paper over, and it has the Starcraft tech tree on the back, showing all the units and buildings for each of the 3 races, including a video of the Protoss destroying a Terran base. I explain to someone which race each of the units belongs to, and they are confused by the Zerg operated Terran units. I start to explain how the queen can infect a command center.

Something about good and bad energy. I could see energy, and pick which type I used and watched the effects it had. Good energy destroyed bad energy, and made you feel better. They were like gray blocks floating around in this white cloud like background. All I could see was this white color, with good and bad energy floating everywhere. It would get used up if I did something, or I could directly use the energy pieces and feel it absorb into my body.

The beginning

I was at home, walking around, when I noticed that there were a lot of ants congregated in a corner. Strange. I walked outside and headed for the backyard when my phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I asked, the number was unfamiliar.

"It's James," a man answered.

"James who?"

There was a sigh on the other end. "Just James. I thought I'd call to let you know that we'll be seeing each other soon."

"Um, okay. Sounds good," I responded. He hung up. I shrugged it off, he probably had the wrong number. I dived in a nice cold pool.

My alarm woke me up. I hit snooze.

The Middle

I was at a house meeting, and a new guy who wanted to move in was introducing himself. He was really whacky, and started passing out dollar bills in order to "show us something." I couldn't believe that he was doing that. Some people were holding upwards 50 or 60 dollars in their hands. I looked back at mine again and the amount I was holding had changed, what?

"This isn't right," I whispered. He caught my confusion with his eyes and smiled.

"I think...I'm dreaming," I whispered, and looked at my hands for a reality check. Indeed, I was dreaming.

"This, this was the purpose of this experiment," he announces to the room. Everyone else looks around in confusion. People start leaving. I look outside and notice that we are in a very mountainous area on the coast. The mountains are red. It's really beautiful. All the DCs are leaving, presumably fed up for being tricked. I stay behind, because I can feel that something is different here.

The man walks up to me and smiles, "There is a lot I need to explain to you before we begin. But finally, you are ready." He leads me over to the other side of the room. I notice that there is a monk guarding the entrance to the room. His robes are light brown.

The man points to a dark silver pendant. He begins explaining the pendant, and how energy flows through it. It's really hard for me to pay attention, because I'm so enlightened by everything else that is going on in this room. I can feel, deeply, that this room is a part of me. Hidden somewhere in my mind. I pay attention again, while he finishes up explaining the importance of this pendant.

A song comes on overhead, and it gives me the shivers because it's creepy. The man laughs and switches the song. We start talking to his associate. I observe the man...he feels alive, like a dream guide or spirit.

My alarm goes off...I hit the snooze button.

The End

The man and I are traveling in a car.

"There you are!" He greets me as I find myself in the dream. I watch as the sunlight flickers and dances through the green trees as we travel down a semi rural road. I hear a phone ringing. Is that my phone, in real life? The ring tone doesn't sound familiar. The man pulls his phone out of his pocket.

"Can I answer it?" I ask.

"Of course," he says with a smile. I flip open the phone.

"Hello? Zukin speaking!"

Silence.

"Oh, it's you." A female voice responds, hostile.

"Excuse me?"

"I just want to let you know that you shouldn't get too far ahead of yourself. There's things going on here that are beyond your control. You better watch your back. It may seem straightforward now, but it isn't. There are tests that you will need to pass."

She hung up.

"Who was it?" The man asked.

"Some chick," I responded. The man rolled his eyes, knowing exactly who I was talking about. Our journey was abruptly stopped short ahead. There was a fight going on on the road. Four or five dreamers had teamed together to fight some kind of beast. They were flying around him and smashing the beast into the concrete. Every time they did so, the concrete would form a rippling shockwave. I got the impression that the man knew them.

He pulled into a parking lot and lead me down a cellar into a rundown dormitory type area.

"This is where we live," he said, casually. The living conditions didn't look good.

"Why are we here?" I asked.

"Because, like the woman told you, there will be tests. But we don't have time to start a new one today; There's been enough introductions for one day," he explained, resting himself into a red couch, "now, close your eyes and wake up."

"What's your name?" I asked, protesting that I would have to leave now. He didn't answer. Fine. I sat down on the couch next to him and closed my eyes and woke up. I felt so refreshed for once that there was no possible way I could fall back asleep.

~~~

WOOOOAHHHH. Awesome!
Well, he didn't tell me a name so it's gonna be James.

Sleep by 11:30pm
Woke after dream at 3:50am


So I went to bet quoting my mantra and I fell asleep. I had an alarm set for 4:00am to try FILD but I guess it was not needed tonight. In my dream I found myself at my dads house and me, my brother and my dad were watching a movie on the couch. I got up in the middle and went to the kitchen to get something to eat and when I opened the fridge I noticed something strange. There was no food in the fridge or cupboard. I knew this was off so my mind went to reality check mode and after the first test my finger went through my hand! My body was instantly filled with a rush of joy but I didn't want to wake myself up so I immediately lied on the floor and did all the stabilization methods I could think of. Sadly I don't remember much more of the dream after this. I know it continued because I have vague memorys of being in my bedroom watching Youtube videos on a bunk bed that should not have been there but I think I lost control.
Will keep trying and good luck on yours.

Fragment 1- I gotta pee.

I was in my house, and I had to pee. I went into the bathroom, and my dad was showering. I thought, am I dreaming? I realized I was, but I forgot to stabilize it, so by the time I phased through the wall, I faded.

EDIT- The Lost Fragment!

I was playing Family Guy: The Quest for Stuff. That was it.

Fragment 2- K.K. Frillard

I was in a shady, grimy city. I was looking for Dr. Frillard. I ran to his house, I jumped up some spikes, and I opened his door. K.K. Slider was on the Shrink couch, lying down. He told me he had nothing to give me, so I ran off.

Main Dream- Her

I was an ugly guy in a restaraunt. I died, and I was told I was going to hell.
I ran off, and I time warped years back. Thus began a cycle when I met a girl and fell in love with her. One year at a time, I would go to her party. When we were 3, an angel told me I could go to heaven, but I said I would start over right here.

Fragment 3- This should have been obvious.'

I was in a zeppelin trying to WILD, while chanting I will HAVE a LUcid DREAM. I woke up then.

ok, im brand new to this and have been dreaming better each day and just starting to remeber my dreams, i remember this one about half way through, here it is. its sort of like i was traing day and night with other people to get into some sort of squad but no one new that 5 people would go missing every night as they though that they where being deported, but what was acctually happening was them being gasses.. then a week later it was my turn to be 'deported' as they said. but i figured out and ran, i managed to get out of the site, using skills i never new i had, it almost felt like i was in control like it was happening, then i got a motorbike and escaped and realised the tracker on it so i ditched it in the ocean and went on foot, (this is all future time) i then started to see creatures about like giant bees, and some reason seals with giant teeth, it was like a fantasy land, as if we were not allowed to see, it. in my mind i had a voice telling me wat these creatures were and if they were dangerous, then i saw my gf sitting on an island, she said she was waiting. then she kissed me, after that she stroaked a giant bee, and before i new it and before she did, it had stung me, then i got knocked out from the sting. i woke up and my gf was gone and i was on the island in the same place and saw the city on the other side of the ocean, so i swam fast, i mean really fast to realise it was. i then got to the city and wen to a party i went to in real life 2 days ago. after that i was on my own, on the look out for people trying to catch me. then i realised i can hide my life and steal everything in order to survive. then i scaled a building, and then my dream went to third person and eneded..... i then woke up with a nose bleed. wierd right, what type of dream is this, and why. i liked it. it took me a few moments after to realise it was a dream.

Morning of May 19, 2014. Monday.



There is some sort of bizarre sound pulsing like a drawn out male soprano “Weeeeee” (pause) “Weeeeee” (pause) “Weeeeee” in groups of three as such, but a bit layered sounding, as with some sort of extreme detuning effect. I am not sure what this is. It is not a main part of the dream scene, I do not think. Maybe this is going on in another classroom.

This is my fear and moment of pure eeriness. This is reality pausing from negative infinity. When I was six and the bell rang while I was in the basement sports arena, the children running down the flights of stairs which I heard through the doorway of the basketball court always painted an image of terrifying violent geese and the coach seemed like some sort of eerie giant ogre who could pick me up and throw me like a paper airplane at any moment. “That is not how you bounce the ball!” he screams at me, and then does a comedic impression of me bending down and bouncing the ball with only a few inches to spare in the bounce. So much for me trying to look cool. I guess the giant pale buffoon and child-terrorizer never heard of the Harlem Globetrotters. And so I was kept an extra hour and missed math class because this big pale buffoon thought I had a disability and was uncoordinated. Thanks a lot, Harlem Globetrotters…

Charlie Brown is an accident victim, apparently, and a real human being. I am not a child, but neither is Charlie Brown. We seem to be back in school near where I lived on Rose Street. There is a lot of construction paper around as well as bottles of glue, pipe cleaners, and crayons. Charlie Brown seems a bit of a disturbed soul, as if he is planning some sort of revenge. He is wearing the same shirt as always. There seem to be (briefly?) Q-Tips sparsely stuck in his hair, which has something to do with using them to lightly use glue on something. The shirt is as it is, in design, because it is the same shirt as he wore during his accident and never changed it. The black pattern across his yellow top is actually a tire track! (Who would have thought?)

He did not die after lying in the street for days. He finally got up and returned to his life’s routine. (“Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.)

The class project is of outer space. A lot of stars have been cut out, as well as Saturns and crescent moons.

My area is the “fanciest” (to the far left) for a time. An unknown girl, oddly dressed - sort of like Cat Woman - is also working on the project. I then focus on the fact that she was the “cat burglar” all those years ago on Rose Street. I say “Oh it’s you” and she replies, “Yes it’s me. I have been with you always.” Looking closer, I see it is my wife at around age eighteen. I point and say “Oh look, it’s her…” No one cares. She is not of their path.

Something dawns on me and I approach Charlie Brown. I tell him about a real-life experience, during that exact same time period around the time the “cat girl” was a dream friend. I had been crossing the street while a deck of educational mathematics cards (Whitman flashcards) had fallen from my notebook binder. A few of the cards blew over the street near the intersection and one car ran over one of them. The crossing guard eventually came over and waited until I was able to pick up all the cards, holding off the oncoming traffic. The card with the “two plus two” pattern had a diagonal smudge of dirt across it from the tire of a car that had ran over it. For some reason, I kept these cards until I was about thirty and gave them to my brother Earl’s kids even though they had stress and fold marks. Having returned later on, I had seen them in a large bag filled with rubbish, but did not reclaim them.

I have a false memory of the crossing guard coming out (who was a very chubby female, who looked almost squarish in her uniform) and looking at me and saying “There is a lot you do not remember, Sparks.” Her eyes glow silvery blue. This is a nickname from “Contact” (1997) said by the David Morse character who played the Source in one of my last dreams. I “return” from this “memory” and say to Charlie how I can relate very well to him, implying the tire mark on that card is like the tire mark across his shirt and he looks at me with disdain. He turns around and starts spinning, yelling “I’m gonna be shot outta the cannon!” I look a little closer at his face and notice it is dirty, and his nose is running with the top part of his mouth covered in mucous.

He runs and tears most of the middle section of the space display section (while holding onto the first edge), ripping it across. “All lies!” He says “These aren’t real stars!” For a moment, he looks like the cartoon Charlie brown. He huffs and puffs, running and jogging in short increments as he goes across the room.

Somehow, in no time, he is immediately (more like instantly) in the cannon with his head sticking out. Ed Sullivan’s voice announces “Presenting…a really big shoe…Charlie Brown…the human…cannonball…” The fuse is lit and out and up he goes, like a rocket.

Charlie Brown has high goals. People look and point. It is wonderful for Charlie to go out among the real stars - as he tore up the class project because it was not “real” for him. People are still annoyed. Suddenly terror breaks out. He “pops” in a fizzled shower of small fireworks, fading fairly quickly. The “cat woman” and I kiss intimately, rising into the air and glowing and going higher and higher.

.../Some kids are sitting around a table discussing the best name for a puppet character which was a TV show during the 90's. They all agree it would be named "Teddy the chubby friend". I "remember" it was always the name for the TV show and I think it couldn't be more accurate/...

* It wasn't at all. The TV show name was "Karina y Timoteo".

.../I see the sequence when a friend of mine receives a tattoo machine as a gift/...

Nap after work:

.../I'm in the room where I lived during my school times. I want to go to sleep when I realize some spiders have built their web between the ceiling and the window. I take a better look and see there are at least 10 spiders in a mass of webs, the bigger ones are deep in the mass, I remember some used to be the size of a little peach . I remember the big ones gave me the creeps. The webs hang above half of my bed, but they are too close that my hand gets stuck in one of them. I decide that I have to clean it up. My wife/ex-girlfriend (who I will call from now on, Simili) helps me. I want to use the vacuum cleaner but I don't remember where it is. I go to my older aunt's room, and see some other spiders there, but they are not many although the webs are huge. My aunt tells me something about some people were pruning trees in the street, now it's all clear to me. I see through her window some webs hanging from the street lighting.
Simili tells me the vacuum cleaner is in my Aunt-mom's room. I go there and my aunt-mom tells me she put it into her closet. I take it "remembering" there was something about this thing. I get back to the room. The spider webs are huge now and there are more and more spiders. I see one of them walking on the floor. I want to take a picture of it. I try to focus the camera but the spider on the floor moves too fast. I can't, it's enough, I step on it before it hides under the bed. When I see the spider webs again I see a lot of multicolored butterflies hanging there too. I have to take a picture of that spectacle, it's amazing. When the automatic focus of the camera tries to focus the image it pulls the webs to my hands. It's disgusting, I put the camera back and all goes back to its place. I try a couple of times more but always the web gets attracted to the camera and it's impossible to take a picture/...

* Woke up remembering spiders used to be a dream sign.

Tonight I.. My dream tonight took place outside near a well, I was next to the well with a woman I considered close to me and had a close feeling towards. She had carmel skin with dark brown eyes that i could not see the pupil of. Her skin was aged. She was trying to get my attention, looking me in the face as I seemed to be in a daze between 'realities' I soon realized she was trying to talk to me and focused in, she told me that the men where coming. Nearby were tented forts and shade was near. The jug I had in my grip was bronze/gold and very long & slender, it seemed more festive than practical for water carrying. When I was looking at the jug I noticed I was wearing pale indigo robes and dark brown sandals and I had the same skin complexion I do now. In my dream I knew I was menstruating, and a sensation brought me to consciousness. I then used the restroom and started my period.

I experience dreams that tell me I'm going to start my period before I do almost every single cycle, I find it interesting. I also wonder why I tend to dream in this time period (seeming to be around the time of Christ). If it is a past reality, why is my complexion the same in this dream? Sometimes I wonder if I am interacting in heaven.. Wondering if anyone else gets warnings before their period starts? zzZZ
Until next time ~tendre

This one happened a while ago. I was on a bus with my friends, a school bus, yellow of course. I don't know where we were heading but I remember Keith, Jane and Eoin (you probably don't know them) and I was showing Keith a song (Monday- Glitch Mob remix, pretty good actually) from Devil May Cry 5.

Eoin told me he knew the song and was enjoying it with us until the bus split in half. In the middle was a scooter so expectedly, I jumped on and Jane got on after me and we raced downhill until we swerved offroad and hit a bush.

I flew forward and rolled on the ground. When I looked up I saw Adam and Jane kissing (I liked Jane at this time and Adam is my cousin). I walked away in a sulk as a group of people gathered to see if we're okay and I see a sink like the one from my kitchen and hear whispers coming from it. Curiously, I approach and have the urge submerge my head in the water.

I then have visions, more like flashes of slowly moving dynamic comic like images of destruction of cities and a three legged robot kind of like something from War of the Worlds.

The voice, deep and male, told me to find my "powers" before the war. Then mentioned February. I was amazed when I pulled my head out of the water. I continued to tell some more of my friends about my experience at the shop Clever Buys and then the dream faded.

I was in my living room with my younger brother Matthew when I realised that I was dreaming. I didn't stabilize. I thought back to what I'd wanted to do, I was planning on finding a lamp, getting a genie and making my three wishes of course.

I wanted to get outside so I tried to jump through the living room window but ended up bouncing off it and landing beside my brother. I tried one more time and passded through it without it breaking.

I walked to the car in the garden and looked inside and got the idea that I could make the genie appear from the car so I rubbed it once, nothing, rubbed it again, and my dad gets out of the car on the other side and walks towards me.

I say to him,"can I have my three wishes?" and he says "that's not possible now". The dream faded right at this moment.

.../after some activity I cannot remember, I get into a police station in the middle of a road. It has been a long time since I don't see those uniforms and stuff. I take a look around, refreshing my memories. It feels weird. It's daylight and we are walking together with some other people. We are in our old school suits.

It's a tiny town after the police station. An elderly couple gets out from a house and have some discussion with us. Somebody says something like "You are not going to dream with your mother!" which sounded like an insult to the couple. We decide to go elsewhere. The couple follow us. They seem to be pissed off. We start moving quick to let them behind. There's a river and a small bridge structure. Some of the guys run along the river. I go through the bridge and get to a big house where a lot of my half brothers gathered for some reason. I don't know many of them. It's an heterogeneous mass of people. I understand this place as "the other side".

There's a stand of electronics next to the house door. Two guys work there. I want to know where can I buy some electronic stuff to work with, I explain because of I couldn't find a proper store in this land. They tell me the name of a market, which real counterpart has nothing to do with electronics. I follow their instructions and get to a known place where I was before. I see a line of students buying some components. Somebody shows me some electronic stuff which looks more fanciful than useful. Now I know where I can find some components and stuff.

I see a woman getting out from a house walking together with a priest, there's something with some pictures and his insinuation. I follow them, and see them getting into a near door. Then I get under the bridge. I see some stairs and go up when a group of delinquents gets closer. One of the guys shows me a piece of leather with a long nail in the middle. Pretending to slap somebody with it. The other one shows me his hand holding a piece of glass. I kick his hand with a fast movement and the piece of glass cuts his neck, I see a big cut and some blood flowing out from it. He got scared, covers it with the other hand and goes away. The other one follows him with a look of consternation in his eyes. I wonder if I'm in trouble.

I get out from the bridge and get to the upper side of the big house. I can see the fields from above. It's a nice view when one of my sisters gives birth a baby on the terrace. We help her to hold the baby. It's all covered with blood, we clean it with paper for architectural drawings. Somebody says in the background it's the best way to clean a newborn. The baby can talk like a 3 or 4 y.o. kid. I don't like how it looks doing that, then I argue that it should babble in stead. It smiles in an evil manner which reminds me my little daughter when she pretends to be a witch.

One of my older sisters says something about their last name. I remember another one and ask about its origin when some aunts tell me to shut up with an aggressive/scared gesture. I understand what was going on all the time I lived with them, and why we didn't get to know much about the other side of the family/...

* Alarm clock went off.
* I'm building a more consistent dreamscape map.
* Some old dreams fragments come to my mind when I think about the market.

Morning of May 18, 2014. Sunday.



In the first section of the dream, I am with my wife and we are outside in some sort of unusual version of the backyard in Cubitis. Oddly, more to the east, is some sort of unusual version of my sister Marilyn’s house. As is often the case, this composite is unique, not having been a (fictional) location in any other dream. I am only semi-lucid at this point. My youngest son is playing in a narrow ditch oriented east-west. It is a warm day. A black male and his wife and younger son (about the same age as my youngest son) fly down and land farther to the east in a helicopter. Although he carries a gun (possibly just for protection), there does not seem to be any threat.

Meanwhile, I hold my hands up and forward and water emerges with a large amount of force from the palms of my hands and fills the ditch in a short time so that my son can swim in it. Over time, I do unusual tricks with the water; I somehow will the water (with a sequence of hand motions similar to portal rituals) to come up to make a temporary translucent “wall” and enjoy other variations of forms, seeming to have full control of the water molecules. My wife and I enjoy the imagery as I work with shaping the water molecules into various forms, including cylindrical and conical forms that hover in the air for a short time before falling back into the body of water as dispersed drops and with very vivid and clear splashes.

The other man and his family watch for a time. Later, we are sitting on the porch and enjoying a bit of a “magic show” I do, but it mostly only relates to smaller things, such as restoring torn apart envelopes, and restoring teeth broken off a comb. Once I restore everything in the immediate environment, the family starts to leave in the helicopter. However, at this point, my wife says that the pilot and a couple other males are stealing the barbecue she had bought for a neighbor as a birthday present, so, without them noticing I mentally float the box to about roof level and manage to get it on its way by going a little higher and to the back of our house and beyond, assuming it will reach its destination.

The first part of the next section starts with me being in the large, fancy bedroom of a seemingly unknown house. My sister and her husband are there. Apparently, my wife has transformed into some sort of in-dream entity and is much younger, a bit thin (but not unattractively so) and with a more powerful, yet more youthful voice and longer hair. My sister seems to know my wife’s family and how she was “adopted” (she was not in real life) and in fact, had taken over her adoption at one point in the past. This may seem strange, but it directly relates to a dream I had before meeting my wife where she moved past the windows of my room and was then having a very long conversation with my sister (when she was still alive) about me (seemingly not knowing I was watching them), which I will write about later.

I start to feel a change within myself, unlike any I have felt before. It is as if I am the origin of consciousness. There is talk about how people who are “not human” - which implies myself and my wife, have to pretend so much to be of a certain consensus and state of mind for a time to “get along” with humans.

I hold out my right hand to show my brother-in-law a trick. Being able to create fire, air, water (and in the past, grains of dirt) from the palms of my hands, a typical dream ability for me, I focus and “allow” a large reddish-orange flame to move up and grow in size and then after a “whooshing” sound, it fades. I do this a couple times. My brother-in-law explains that he is actually like me in the sense of not being human, and explains that he has to pretend not to be made of ice (apparently being an “ice elemental”). (In real life his IQ was only around 70 and he could not read or write - but sometimes pretended to and often ended up giving letters to the wrong people and pretended to read a newspaper at times - but he still worked long and hard for many years.) Unfortunately, he sounds even less intelligent (entering that Roger-Miller-like intellectual disability but in baritone) showing his “true” ice elemental form than his human form, which I say nothing about and just sort of go along with it.

My sister and her husband are going out, and it dawns on me that this means I am the Source. It is my dream alone. The affirmations I have developed this year have incredible power (and I have learned they affect other people), and it looks like the “gate” was finally “opened”. I am in a state of sensual bliss and peace before I even actively indulge in sensual bliss directly. The thought amuses me greatly. Obviously, there is only one thing to do…

I ask my wife in her present form if she had ever been with a male before and she says “yes” quite passively yet with a discernible degree of assertiveness of experience - which seems quite odd, because the question seems metaphorical and she has only just recently been “born” into the world (and having “instant intelligence” as with the formation of tulpa-based dream character development I had started a few months back). Still, that does not seem to matter. Her name has transformed into “Sharon Rabbit”. I suppose this sounds hilarious because it sounds like a play on “sharing a rabbit”. She has a middle name that I see on an adoption document - and it starts with “C” - but I am not positive of what it is - it looks a bit like “comely” at one point. Sharon Comely Rabbit. Dreams certainly lack more realistic names, do they not? However, I can be certain there really are people called Sharon Rabbit, so ignore my blathering here. (In fact, I had made some sort of remark to my sister about why the surname was “Rabbit” which seemed to relate to having more children than average.)

We lie down on the bed (and the scene plays out almost as if exactly planned but this dream was not scripted at all), and from there, it is a bit too personal to go into the diverse details. I can make notes on some things. The sense of touch (in fact, all senses) was more vivid and intense than in real life as well as being more “focused”. Her silky flowing hair was like intoxicating perfume, building in layers of bliss (almost like a growing echo upon echo effect in sound until it grows into one roaring peak - which modern digital equipment cannot even begin to handle like the old analogue did), and her voice was so harmonious, flowing, and sensual, it flowed into my body and out again as if my body was like a speaker cone or amplifier (rendering most other human voices I have heard in real life seem dull and annoying in comparison - but I suppose that was the attraction in the first place in reality), very hard to put into words (this seems to have been foreshadowed by the dream where my wife’s skin had “ripples” and “waves” like the ocean). There was such a realistic sense of physical connection and orientation - it is also hard to put into words. Even so, this precise level of size orientation and audio and even location did not reflect anything ever experienced in this manner dream-wise. (Often my dreams have odd distortions in size, by magnification or shrinking - often being that my hands seem magnified and cars seem way too small to be able to get into - in the past, houses were sometimes like this, and there are often changes in distance perception as well.) From here, my wife’s real voice joins with the “vibrations” of the in-dream one and I am instantly awake with no discernible difference in perception.

I have validated my work fully and now understand how to do it whenever I want - I guess once again, simple “knowing” and the practice of such paid off (over twenty years more intensely working with word patterns and various types of phrasing and focus at various levels). I thought something was different last night, when I was doing “sending affirmations” (for about six hours - the amount of time some people spend passively watching television, unfortunately) in still states and getting more than the usual “feedback”, almost audibly - often, this “feedback” has a few “negative phrases” or “denial responses” that imply duality such as id and ego boundaries - or seemingly telepathic “break-ins” by other people which are really annoying, but this time, there were none at all. This dream was probably the most “stable” I have had to date and not only that, I was fully myself with no distortions of mood or emotion. My true self, I suppose. Full unity.

Crossing some train tracks with my friend. He wants to wait for the bridge to come our way. A moving bridge slides along the length of the platform and spins in circles as it moves. I don't want to wait, so I climb down, cross the tracks, and climb back up the other side. He stopped in the middle of the tracks, and waves me to come back down there.

There's no trains, so I go back, and stand with a group of people in the middle, awaiting travel information. My teacher has already left for England, and a couple people are calling out names and travel information - dates and times, together with transfers. Uninterested, I walk over to my house. Ryan is inside, and very upset. He tells me he was followed in depth by people every time he used tobacco, that it made him easier to track. Nevertheless, he tells me he has managed to collect all the Lamrim teachings. They were almost lost to him. I have a complete collection of all three sets of teachings, hidden in socks for safe keeping, and offer these to him. He doesn't appreciate their value.

Both of us then turn into phenomena sources, and begin to slowly disappear into emptiness. He comments on how I didn't share my food earlier, but now I must give it all away anyways, and can't even eat the bags the food came in. I somehow eat the food surrounding my tetrahedron to reduce the clutter, but stop at the large pile of almonds. There are just too many to eat.

I begin to feel a little fear about slowly disappearing, and little details of my phenomena source vanish bit by bit. It seems like a good idea to just go for it, so I commit to seeing this dissolution through to its completion, irregardless of any fear.

Walking home, I must cross a big river to get to the other side. Normally I would just jump across the narrow part here, which although narrow for the river, is about as far as I can jump. Today however, the river is 4 times wider, and raging like it's alive and angry. I recall there is a bridge up-stream, and take a short cut off the trail to cut a big corner out of the path. I slide down a steep hill, and continue toward the bridge.

Panicking, I see that the river has jumped its banks, and this short cut is not impossible. It leads directly to a dead-end cliff-like hill about 40 feet high, very close to the river, and where I just came from is also too steep to return. I have to jump out of the way of a few rogue waves that leap out from the others. There are some massive waves in this river, each one nearly knocks me into it.

There is some really long, thick grass growing up the side of this steep hill (basically an 85 degree angle with flat ground). I grab fist fulls of the grass, and begin my near vertical assent back to the road up above. It's really easy with all this grass! As I near the crest, there is no more grass, and the ground is very loose. Large chunks of earth fall out from beneath me. I scramble to regain my grip and my footing, but each spot I hold onto quickly crumbles away, digging the cliff summit out to be even steeper.

I am soo close to the top, I can put my hand on there, but only to pull the earth loose. I see a woman walking by, and greet her to avoid surprising her by being so close to the path, and right at foot level where she wouldn't see me until super close. She looks at me with a disgusted look that says, 'This guy is a typical risk taker' and says "Rock climbers...." with a big sign as she walks off quickly.

Disappointed that she didn't help me, nor grasp the seriousness of the situation I'm in, I continue to struggle not to fall. Looking back briefly, I see that if I fall, I will land directly into the river that has now changed course to be right below me. I also recall how never in my life have I been able to climb over a steep crest - the rock wall at summer camp, the 2 mile high cliff in my back yard, the ridge on top of the mountain - in every case, I failed to make it. It's just impossible for me.

Deciding to give it everything I've got, I try to summit to my left, but literally pull every possible hand hold loose so there is nothing more to grab onto. I try the right, and lose my grip as I rip away fist fulls of loose dirt and fall backwards. Managing to wedge my toes into a crack, I use my shin muscles to pull myself 30 degrees back to the cliff. Phew, close call! Now making sure I have good foot placement, I try to summit to the right again. Everything is pulling loose! I reach the very end of the line, nothing left to try, except a smooth, vertical rock to my right. No way to get a good grip on it at all. I split my force evenly between all fours, hands and feet, none of which are in a safe, secure spot in case I slip. Dangerously vulnerable, I continuously have to shift each hold, and scramble. I imagine making it successfully, and gently, but continuously shift my placement as I make slow progress. My head passes above the crest, but it is still steep!

I push and pull, feeling really off balance, and get my torso above the crest. To my amazement, I reach the top. "Sure footing here!"

No sooner do I reach the top, than I have a vision of Satan himself telling me in a deep demonic voice, "Congratulations, this is the first time you ever passed this test". Unsure why Satan is congratulating me, I am happy to have made it this time. A true victory over my fears.

I continue down the path, cross the bridge, and end up at my friend's mom's house. I'm get along better with her mom, so I'm not disappointed when just her mom is home. I find her testing her new home security system. She demos it for me. There is a massive vault door, with a huge lock on it. She tells me "if someone breeches the door, this is what happens..." and pushes a button on a remote. A siren plays loudly, blue and white lights flash, and inside the safe room, sitting at a desk, looking at a laptop screen, facing toward us, is a goat. Judging by the sounds coming from the laptop (goat noises), the goat is watching goat on goat porn. The goat has an intense focused look on his face as he stares into the screen, lightly illuminated by the video. I find it hilarious.

We walk into the kitchen for dinner. She offers me food and starts to eat. I already have a full plate. "I'll start with the water" I tell her, being polite, and wanting to wait until her daughter returns so we can eat together. I also want to tell her about my successful summit of the cliff, but want to wait so I can tell them both at the same time.