memorable

A very hazy lucid dream...

I became lucid at the end of a nightmare before this.

I find myself in the middle of a grassy plateau between a circle of mountains. Knowing that I'm dreaming, I begin to jump with the intend of jumping high! I think it works. I see two giant Mario-like hammers that are trying to hit me. One nearly hits me, but I put my hand in front and smash it away. I decide to FUS ROH DAH! Then I realise, a Skyrim-like dragon would be great. I put my hand over my eyes and expect a dragon to be in front. This works as well! I jump over the dragon, and hit him with my 'FUS ROH DAH' a couple of times.

I can't remember a thing after this. I might paint it as I have been recently thinking of painting my dreams like the famous surrealist painters like Dali!

First thing I can recall is being in my doctor's office. Of course, as n most dreams, nothing is right.

The interior of the building is appointed much like so many medical buildings...utilitarian furniture and carpet in shades of gray and brownish-orange. I'm on the ground floor of the building and behind me is a large waiting area, a large skylight illuminating the far wall and a patch of floor near the door that leads to the patient examination rooms.

Something drew me to a desk in front of me, slightly closer to the middle of the building. A man (possibly a doctor) and a woman need to find their way to my doctor's office and I know I can help. I tell them...

"I have an app on my phone for that. I can help!"

The doctor and I both pulled out our phones. I watched him press a small recessed button below the screen of his phone and the display lit up with the time and some other useless stuff. I pressed a similar button on my phone and a map of the building appeared on the screen. Drawn on a white background was a pattern of the building in black and red lines, and peering closely at the screen revealed the names of doctors corresponding to where they were located in the building.

At one end of the U-shaped building was the area behind me, Doctor Walker's offices, which was where the lost people needed to go. Following the map I saw the entire shape of the building, the map auto-rotating to reveal the other levels and the offices within. The 3-story building was quite intricate on the map though it was only three stories at one end of the building.

I felt I had done a good job drawing the map, especially since I had done it on my phone with my finger an a drawing app. An overwhelming urge to build the structure came over me and I leaned down to my Lego box to begin assembling the necessary pieces. I started with a green base which I attached two large supports from the farm-kit my daughter had in her Lego box. I was slightly bothered because they were tan but I wanted them to be red. I knew there was nothing for it so I continued building, adding pieces to link the supports together.

Unfortunately my building skills in the dream were less than stellar and my construction kept falling apart. My frustration is all I recall, though I believe the dream continued on.


[B]Oddly, drawing a map and working with Legos are both dream goals of mine for future lucids. I hope I can work these elements into a lucid dream.[/B]

So just for the record, I've gotten lucid three times in the past four days. >.> But I haven't felt like recording them because the one from Tuesday just totally disappeared from memory, and the one from yesterday I remember basically nothing of either, but I remember all of the non-lucid bits both before and after it. I guess I might add that one in here.... But the first one, I want to say that nothing important happened. But I might just want that to be the case. ._. There's really no way to say for sure. The second one... I'm pretty certain that the only thing I did was phasing, which is of course nothing new for me. I remember experiencing it and everything, I just don't really remember the experience itself. Oh well, the one from last night very much made up for it....

Oh, and for the last few days I've been taking 400 mg of L-theanine a day, divided into two doses of 200 mg with one in the morning and one in the late afternoon or early evening, usually.

Yesterday

#1 - But why are we in a skyscraper to begin with? [Non-Lucid]

I was in some school class in a huge skyscraper in some downtown area, and there were random people I graduated from high school with, this girl who sits behind me in my speech class I'm taking this semester at college, and my parents, for some reason. There was a massive storm coming our way with tornadoes visible through the windows and everything, and I was holding my mom's hand as we were all scared. There's a flashforward and things get hazy, but I remember seeing people evacuate but thinking that it wasn't on the same day but it was the same "windy season"....

#2 - Who would build a bathroom like this!? >_< [DILD]

The details of this have gotten hazier since I didn't care to write it down at first, but there was some gigantic computer mouse whose cord stretched all the way across some city streets, and it got pulled away and I tried to chase it but lost track of it. I remember seeing my old high school friend AB's car, but then things get blurry.... This is around where I became lucid and phased but then my next memory picks again at the non-lucid point. :T I was spending the night somewhere with AB, M, and these guys J and Ma who I met through M. The next morning, I woke up and started blasting some really heavy club music and M got excited, and her boyfriend D, who's suddenly there, turns to me and says something like "We can catch up later." I then realized that I needed to go change my clothes so I went to the bathroom to do so, but there were big windows all over the door so it was very easy to see inside. Everyone was oriented in the direction of the windows, but just not looking directly into them, but of course it was making me very uncomfortable at the thought of starting to change. J was saying maybe they should turn in a different direction, but then I woke up.

Today

Last night, I took 250 mg of choline bitartrate immediately before going to bed. I'm fairly certain this had an effect, particularly on the lucid.

#1 - This would have been great to become lucid for!! [Non-Lucid]

I was playing some bizarre new PSP game the whole time, and there actually was something going on in the rest of the dream too but I pretty much missed it all because I was so focused on playing, so I don't really remember the plot anymore. What I remember about the game was that it had a setup where you had a team of playable characters that reminded me of the structure of NIS games, but it was mixed with a simulated life raising element like chao from the Sonic Adventure and Sonic Advance games, and the actual creature and level designs were sort of Pikmin-like. I really wish I could've played more of it because it seemed really interesting, but that's about all I can recall of it, and I remember walking up stairs or something maybe to see my speech professor... but no more solid details than that.

I woke up from this dream with a very strong headache. I'm fairly certain that my head was smashed into this part of the backboard of my bed and that's what caused it, because the pain slowly went away in a way that I can only relate to when you wake up with a numb arm and it slowly returns to normal, but it was my first time having that type of thing happen so I can only guess. But I really hope that that's what happened because otherwise it would mean I woke up with a severe unexplained headache. >___>

#2 - I could've told them this would happen... somehow. [Non-Lucid]

I was in a high school PE class (though I think the setting might actually have been my elementary school, sort of?) with O and people kept trying to give him balls that corresponded to different sports, but I remember equating these to video game weapons in my mind and thinking that they were doing it wrong because they didn't realize that "his growth charts are unique". Eventually he decided to play what I think was registered as either baseball or golf... but it's really just a bunch of balls bouncing around and people chasing after them with no clear goals. He makes the "winning play" I believe when at least one of the teams is "frozen" at 23 seconds left on the timer, but it switches to this weird TV view for it that only shows symbols to represent the player. He was excited that they run, but due to the odd way I saw it play out I asked him for verification that he actually was the reason they won, claiming that "they only showed the overhead", or some such nonsense. Suddenly he got all depressed at the thought because he didn't realize that he had won it, he thought he was just a part of it, so we asked some other guy and he said that that was the case. Suddenly O sank into despair, and this guy PR who I've known since elementary school tries to ask him what's wrong and cheer him up or something, but he proclaims that he may never play that sport again, and then walks out of the gym all dejected as class ends. On the way out I was trying to think of a way to explain his reaction to PR, but I couldn't really think of a good way to phrase it before I woke up.

#3 - I think it might have been inspired by Buffy? [DILD]

This was an odd driving dream, and I'm fairly certain I've had something like this happen before.... Basically, I was driving home in the snow at night, and I was stuck driving from the back seat where there was an accelerator but no breaks. As a result, I was forced to drive very slowly and frequently take my foot off the gas so that I wouldn't gain too much momentum. I have no idea why I didn't think to just climb up to the front seat, but I know that there was a car driving behind me too, so maybe I just didn't want to mess with the situation and cause any trouble. We came over this bridge in my neighborhood, and then when I turned on to my street it was suddenly daytime. Somehow I managed to go too far beyond my house though, and then this car started coming down the street in the other direction right for me, and I perceived someone else as being in the car with me at this point too, but I don't recall ever seeing anyone.... I started thinking "shit shit shit" because I couldn't stop the car or change the direction it was going in very easily, and then we ended up headbutting the other car. This is all unbelievably vivid... perhaps a mix of the supplements and the adrenaline boost? I started trying to rationalize this situation because I didn't want to have to actually be in a car crash again, and then I thought to myself "Wait, could this be a dream? This whole thing is pretty odd...." I climbed into the front seat and by then I had a feel for my state of mind and was sure of it, so I became lucid.

At this point I looked around at the street and the sky and just stared. This was one of those lucids that leaves you completely in awe from start to finish as you repeatedly tell yourself "There's no way a dream could be this real." As I looked over the neighborhood, there was no distribution of focus as in a regular dream, it was all fully rendered as a single image. It seemed exactly as if I was seeing it in waking life in every way, minus the snow. I ended up driving back down to where my house was (and I think it was using my first car which is long gone), and when I got there my house was pretty different. It was tall and thin, spanning multiple floors, whereas the real one has only one floor and is much more wide than tall. There were also large windows spanning most of the front face, and it had some kind of Greek-esque architectural design for what looked almost like a tomb on the ground floor, and it was covered in plant vines and everything. There was some large inscription at the top of this part, which was totally made out of stone, and I didn't get a good look at all of it but I do remember seeing the word "SOUL" in large print. Again, this was all extremely vivid. I wanted to go inside and check it out, as the front door was still right there where it should have been in the middle of that framework, but about that time I started feeling a headache again and woke up.

*sigh* That would've been cool to explore. That headache, too... not the real one, but this one in the lucid. It felt like the ones I get when I smoke too much or the last few times I tripped. I'm really starting to wonder if it's hippocampal in origin, and if the choline brought it out.... I guess this break from smoking will probably help in more ways than I thought, because it's going to be annoying if that headache keeps making an appearance in lucids. :/ Hopefully it was just a one-time thing though, and overall I still consider this dream very successful.

03.08.2013

Old Hag Syndrome (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I "wake up," incredibly thirsty. "Definitely gotta get up and get some water," I think groggily. My mouth is so dry that my tongue is practically sticking to the back of my throat.

When I open my eyes, the first thing I see is a tall, dark figure. It is a tall old woman, wearing a black hat and a big black dress. I stare at the woman calmly, fully believing that I'm really just seeing a normal object, my refrigerator maybe, and that my brain is just still half asleep and making me hallucinate. I fully expect her to disappear within a few moments.

She doesn't.

Instead, she glares directly into my eyes and lunges right at me! I let out a yelp of terror and shut my eyes. "OhmygodOhmygod I'm being attacked," I think frantically.

Then I realize that I can't move and that I've been stuck in sleep paralysis this whole time.

The realization actually makes me feel a bit better. At least now I know that the old woman isn't really real. Every time I open my eyes, I see her back in the doorway. Each time, she lunges toward me. I always close my eyes before she reaches me. Even though I know she's not real, it's still creepy as hell.

I really want to look at my clock: my one anchor to the physical world. But with the old hag constantly attacking me, I can't focus enough to do so. I have to get rid of her.

I open my eyes once more. The old woman comes toward me. I focus on speaking. "Don't. Touch. Me." It is an effort to get the words out, but I am pleased at how dangerously angry I sound. At the same time, I use an old trick of mine: I gather my fear and send it outward in an aggressive wave. The old woman halts in her tracks, stunned at my sudden retaliation.

After her initial shock, she says something along the lines of, "I will destroy you!"

"You can't hurt me," I growl in the same deadly tone.

She cackles. "Wanna bet?" She grabs ahold of my elbow. Pain radiates down my arm, but I've had worse and I only laugh.

"Even if you can hurt me, it doesn't make any difference," I taunt. "You're not real. You don't even exist."

Infuriated, she releases her hold on me and howls in rage.

"Now get away from me!" I yell. She stands in the doorway for the rest of the dream, not daring to attack again.

Now I can look at the clock. I struggle to make out the numbers: It's almost six in the morning. I've been stuck in SP for a while now, and I'm getting sick of it. SADLY, I fail to remember that I'm SUPPOSED to turn it into an LD or an OBE. Instead, I focus all my efforts into trying to wake myself up.

Nothing I do is helping. The only physical parts of me that I can control are my breathing, my eyes, and my tongue, but I can't do anything significant enough to wake myself up! Now that I'm not being attacked (and the vibrations aren't as intense as they have been), I'm getting incredibly bored and fed up with being forced to lie here not doing anything. How much longer could this possibly LAST!?

Screaming at my roommate to wake me up just results in more pointless hallucinations. So I remain stuck in SP for a while longer until I FINALLY snap out of it and wake up for real.

Recall from today's naps, some success, also not much of non-lucid recall due to me trying to DEILD after waking up from non-lucid. Also wow, i did successful WILD in a dream(which counts as DILD i guess?).

Nap #1:

I was in game that looked similar to quake 4 and was shooting some stroggs with my hyberblaster, cleaning room after the room. Then there was very dark passage where i got ambushed. Then everything went black and i spontaneously go lucid, i try to imagine different location and teleport to it, but there's no success, i try a few times but i am still stuck in darkness. Shortly i feel something touching me and 'hugging' me, no clue what it is. I try to teleport again but no dice. After a bit i see some white/cyan wall for an split second and then i wake up the room is different and the lamps are broken so i realized that i am still dreaming, but i can't move for some reason. Shortly dream fades out.

Nap #2:

Can't recall much about this one, i recall finding out that one of the forums that i was previously on, which expired, has been restored and functioning also there were some troll users getting banned on it. Later i was browsing some other forum that was apparently about Trigonometry Wars shmup, in one of the threads the author was having some problem with a different game he was making. Later i noticed that my PC was overheating.

Nap #3:

I was home and there was major revamp of furniture positioning, people were annoying me and PC was loading extremely slow due to some problem. I got tired of trying to fix everything and ended up just lying in my bed, trying to WILD...
I awakened in my bed and i know i am in a dream, i take off headphones and i can still hear binaurals, that confirms it. I get up from the bed and while getting up i am concentrating on touching it with hands for stabilization, sound of binaurals shortly fades out as well. I am looking at the room and it is pretty accurate to my room in waking life, also it is daytime. I go to the balcony door and on the way i am repeating 'I am dreaming' a few times for additional lucidity and stability. I started ramming the door, had to do it twice like i did in the other lucid dream, though this time it just opened instead of breaking, i am fine with it since i want to do something more major for TOTM anyways.
As soon as i get to balcony i take off, i immediately feel the wings, and this time i am better prepared for it. It's still not easy though, i start flying in circles for a bit and then far to the right(if facing balcony from outside), being unable to get higher. I note that the building is very long and as much as i was in flight, it didn't ended. I finally figure out the movements and start getting higher, my target is the roof, since i need a good big open place. I reach it in a bit but it is very small somehow, i take off again searching for different roof.
Shortly i reach some red brick building, i note that my flight is pretty stable now. The roof is sloped, again not fitting for my goal, but i find decently open plaza-like area down below near this building. I also try taking a look at wings, but for some reason the angle at which i can rotate head is rather small. I land and look around, there are people walking around this plaza but i don't care. I start thinking up the way to reach my goal: transformation into a dragon, and i decide to try just concentrating, imagining transformation and shouting 'Dragon form!'. I try it for the first time, no success. Then second time, still not working. Then i try for the third time! I feel my right hand becoming different, i look at it and it's mostly normal but slightly bigger and clawed looking, it becomes normal shortly. I become more confident and attempted for the fourth time. I concentrated much more as well and i got it, my hands became clawed and black scales appeared all over them, but a second later, dream abruptly ends.
I woke up in my room and dad was annoying me about something, so i forget to do reality check, then shortly i wake up again, this time properly.

Worth noting it was my longest lucid up to date as well.

Last night was the greatest night of Dreaming in my entire life! I had six, yes six, lucid Dreams last night. A combination of DILDs and DEILDs, mixed with 2400 mg Lecithin and 100 mg B-6 taken immediately before bed. I have never had even close to this type of success before and I must attribute it equally to my training as well as my supplements.

Last night I flew, I fucked, and I fought. My hands were, at times, grotesque and other times normal. My girl chatted with me about race car numbers and how she was seeing them differently than I, which was one lucidity trigger. I encountered that serial killing doll chucky, and I watched a man run as fast as a race car. I had a few false awakenings that I didn't realize at the time. I was so deep I felt like I was in inception. I also watched my girl fly away like a pro which triggered another lucid.

I flew for the first time last night, although I only got a few feet above the ground. While I was flying, I thought about going to space and as my DreamScene started to change I got nervous and had second thoughts. So I closed my eyes and willed my Scene to remain as it was, with me closer to the ground than I was headed for. Space is a challenge for me because of my fear of heights, which is also why I flew so close to the ground. I also don't have much confidence in my flying ability yet. I Dreamt so much last night that when they were over I figured it had to be time to wake up, it was only 5:30. I had only been asleep for roughly 5 hours, and hadn't even reached my peak REM stage yet! This is an incredible breakthrough for me and I'll just have to remember next time I'm lucid that there are many other things I wish to try. You can bet ill be using this supplement combination again very soon.

Thanks to anyone who read this!

~Date:3-7-13
~Total sleep: 9 hours
~Daytime Techniques: RC’s
~Lucid Techniques: Focusing on recall before I try any.
~Recall Techniques: ”I will recall every detail of my dreams”
~Fell Asleep: 10:00
~Dream Title: 2012 Apocalypse

~Dream:
My dad and I are looking for supplies. The sky is dark red and somehow I know Atlanta is burning. Everything has an apocalyptic feel, and there are not many people around. We drive to a certain plaza under a bridge (I know this place IWL; It is near my house) and Dad sees a BBQ restaurant. He HAS to stop and get some BBQ so I wait and guard the truck. (I can’t remember if I had a weapon or not.) some guy in a hood starts spraypainting a face on the general store next to the restaurant. I tell him that he is doing it all wrong, but he ignores me. Memory gap and it is the next day. The sky is a bit brighter. We are at the same plaza, but the graffiti has been cleaned off the store. I go in alone, and the graffiti guy is talking to the store owner. He must have cleaned everything up, because they seem to be on good terms. He points at me and says something, then exits through a back door. The owner is a short Indian lady. She seems to think I am a threat, because she starts stalking me through the store. She is failing though, because she is whistling and tiptoeing dramatically. I wait around a corner and when she comes around I grab her and tell her how obvious she is being. Then I walk over to the checkout lanes where my sister is standing. She tells me that it is 2012 and, because everyone expected the world to end, they are making it happen by panicking. She then says that, on the bright side, the price of chocolate has gone way down. She hands me a box. Inside is a huge block of chocolate with a section scooped out that, according to the box, is “perfect for holding M&Ms.” Here the dream ends.

~Notes: I have been working on recall until I can remember at least a dream a night. Then I will work on lucidity. This was a very vivid dream. I wish I had become lucid. This would have been a fun world to explore. Maybe I will go back to it later.

~Awake: ??
~Vividness: 7 (scale of 1-15, 10 is waking life vividness)
~Awareness: 5 (1-10; or lucid)
~Emotions: excitement, peace (I have had dreams before where there was an apocalypse like feel to the world, and I really like how peaceful everything feels.)

I wish i could have recalled start of dream 2 in better quality, other than that pretty good so far.

Dream 1(fragment):

I was in my room playing some video games and eating some weird food. I was surprised to find that in the latest patch there was new character added to the game i was playing. It looked like small dragon.

Dream 2:

Don't remember much of start of the dream, but there was some multiplayer game with classes(by that i mean player classes) about two teams fighting over some locations. There was number of various classes, including some 'monster' classes that i really wanted to try, but game was telling that they are pretty hard to play, and considering i was pretty new to it according to dream, i picked one of more normal classes. I was actually in the game instead of just playing it also. I can't recall much for a while but i think there was mostly just fight for points going on, i might have even played as one of the 'monster' classes.
Later on there was some virtual grid like area where i had to fight some sort of danmaku boss, i had number of problems dealing with it's attacks and had to retreat a few times but eventually i defeated it.
Then i was in my room and there was some dude that looked suspiciously like sniper from Team Fortress 2, we went to the balcony and we were talking about a bunch of things including some stuff about lucid dreaming, though i didn't got lucid.
I was again in the game and i was playing as one of the stronger classes with some sort of energy gun/cannon as a weapon, there were bunch of other players and we were in some cityscape. I took position at the bridge which had good overlook and shortly another boss appeared, it was some sort of big pterodactyl creature that was flying around and attacking from the sky, there was also bunch of other weaker enemies appearing around. It was pretty easy boss and our plan was to be sure to defeat as much of the cannonfodder enemies as possible before downing the boss, since whatever appearing next is quite more powerful and we didn't wanted to be distracted by weaker enemies at that point. I was kiting the boss while others were mostly dealing with stream of weaker enemies, i could easily dodge or block most of it's attacks, but apparently i was too strong and ended up killing it a little bit too early(there was 4 or so other enemies left).
Suddenly the cityscape started shaking and HUUUUGE turtle appeared(For reference buildings were 8-12 floors tall, turtle was at least twice as tall while it was moving on all four, really huge). It was destroying buildings with ease and was slowly coming for us. We were concentrating fire on it, but shortly turtle opened it's mouth and started firing huge yellow/orange beam at us. It was way off from my location but apparently, it was not a simple beam. Once it reached bridge we were mostly on, it got split to the left and the right with 90 degrees angle, almost hitting me. And if THAT's not enough the side beams started radiating some yellow lightning blasts that started hitting me, though since i was one of the strong classes it was not that much of damage and shortly i started dodging those blasts. Eventually we have defeated the boss.
I was back at the home balcony again, talking to that TF2 Sniper looking person. He called his two of friends and there was more of talk that i can't recall.
I and TF2 Sniper looking person went to some sort of training area, it was huge construction made of chains and platforms. He said i was not strong enough at parkour and in this area i was supposed to get as high as possible by hanging and quickly jumping from chain to chain. First few attempts were not much of success, i kept losing height on jumps. But later i managed to reach one of the goal areas, though TF2 Sniper person said that my timing on grabs is all wrong and that i need to practice more.
We were back at the balcony, though his friends were not there. I asked why his friends weren't there and he said that they were busy. Dream ended shortly.

I decided to take a nap because I am home and I can, and because I am still tired after my sickness.

Before going to nap, I had sent a friend request and a pm to gab.

As ai lay there, I decided to try to WILD since I have not really tried before, even though I before did not think I wanted to. Changed my mind.

I remember seeing some images: an art work vaguely reminiscent of the Mona Lisa, a very bright corridor, but at that point I was not sure yet whether I was dreaming or day dreaming - whether I had actually fallen asleep.

The first thing I saw when I was sure I was asleep already was that I had a Notification in dreamviews. Knowing it was a dream I clicked on it. Sure enough as expected it was a private message from gab. However, when I opened it, it was actually a message that I had previously gotten from gab and not a response to my friend request.

Then I woke up. Upon waking up before writing my dream journal entry, I checked dreamviews, and yes I had a message from gab replying to my friend request (she said yes). I then proceeded to write this dream journal entry and only once I had written a lot did it occur to me to check whether ai am still asleep (no I am not).

Yay, I did it! I had an LD! My first after many years.

FUCK......I refreshed the page.....

Anyways, I had a dream where vampires were holding a group of us hostage, and I gained the powers of the Belmont clan, and we laid waste to them. After that, I was watching surveillance footage of my friend A, and it looked like he got turned into one, so I was thinking about killing him too.

I think I did the ToTM. After reading a dream from Canis Lucidus, I had a dream as said, "What is one thing you wish; I'll grant it" or "...I'll make it happen."

The Perfect Pecan, then The Perfect Goodmorning

I was with my dad. He was alive again. I told him that I wanted to talk to him as soon as he was done. I think he was performing or something. He said OK. I was so excited to finally tell him how much I miss him. It's the same dream I have of him every time, and it seems more real every time.

He eventually told me he had a virus. I thought, "Oh-h-h-h-h!." I knew it could kill him because of his weak condition.

I got a call from my brother's old room mate I Chin Tong. I answered the phone and he asked for me. I said it was me. He wanted a replacement of a green rug I had gotten him to design his home. I leaned back in my chair until I was lying down, told him I'd find him one with a psychedelic pattern, winked at this kid who I thought must think I was pretty cool, and then...

Dream Skip

My son and daughter are pulling out huge tomato plants. I'm disappointed that they are doing this, but it is for the owner of a house we are at. The plants are now Sweet Gum trees and I understand the motivation now.

I'm at E's house. I saw her so vividly. Then her husband came home which was weird because it was so early, he had just gotten to work! I was nervous he would suspect something for me being over there so early. Instead he went out on the back porch and asked if I wanted help with a project I'm working on. I went out, happy not to be nervous anymore.

Then he was talking to me about coaching a kids soccer team for 7 and 8 or 8 and 9 year olds' but we were outside somewhere else. I figured what grades that would be and told him his job would be getting the kids to work together more so than to win games. He said "Never mind then." I tried to convince him not to give up his idea. (This may have been residue from my idea last night to "put on a shirt" for the cub scouts and be a leader.

I then realized I was dreaming, and started looking for E again. I spent a moment looking for her and realized that I should try a better lucid goal. BrandonBoss inspired me to re-evaluate my dream goals on this point.

I decided to do my personal goal which was to enter my childhood nightmare. I found myself in a room with a bunch of people. I went to ask a guy with long hair and acne where...I didn't like this guy. I turned and there he was again...and again. What an annoying DC.

I found someone else--ah, it was a high school friend P. C., and asked, "Where can I find the Circle Demon." He looked at me weird and said, "The Circle Demon?" I said "Yea, The Circle Demon," repeating it more to stay focused than to be sarcastic back to him.

He told me "At the Perfect Pecan." I think I repeated that and said, is that upstairs?" I started going upstairs. There was a box from Hell Bound on his stairs and everything was kind of black. He said, "No, I'm in a band." I started getting frustrated. I said, "Where can I find it?" He said, "The Perfect Good Morning."

I decided to look for one of these places. I had trouble phasing through a wall (what is my problem phasing lately?" A DC chuckled at me for trying and then I got a boost of confidence and went through it with a thankful, "Hah!"

I flew and ended up in a food court. This was vivid. Nobody was there, then I saw a guy starting to set up his restaurant. I decided to go to another guy setting his place up. Then I decided to ask about a wish. I said, "What is one thing you wish. I'll grant it." Or, "...I'll make it happen." He just questioned me, "One wish? I don't know." I asked the other shop-keeper. He never said anything.

I walked to a patron and she said, "I'd like a box of Perfect Pancakes." I tried to conjure it by clapping my hands or something. I tried pulling the box of pancakes out of the floor with no luck. I thought of what Canis had said. "I still got this," though I didn't say that. I tried what he or Xanous had said about pulling it out of my pocket, but there was only a tissue. I felt bad, but I knew (that I thought) I had still fulfilled my obligation to ask and try to grant a DC one wish.


The End

I had waken up before this dream and did one partial cycle for SSILD. I found myself in darkness which I tried to fly through per Canis. It worked. The timing of this dream may be a bit off.

There was a star system, and there was a habitable planet with another habitable moon orbiting it. It was the future. The year was probably 2162. This dream took place in this time period. The moon was predicted, that in a couple of days, it would impact the planet. The military had proposed a plan to save their planet from the moon. They were going to push it away from the planet and destroy it. Now how they could do this, I don’t know. The second day, I witnessed a smaller impact from an asteroid. The asteroid impact was catastrophic. It didn’t wipe out the planet though. I witnessed this impact from a orbital station above the planets atmosphere. There technology was advanced greatly in this period. The dream faded. This concludes my dream.

There was a star system, and there was a habitable planet with another habitable moon orbiting it. It was the future. The year was probably 2162. This dream took place in this time period. The moon was predicted, that in a couple of days, it would impact the planet. The military had proposed a plan to save their planet from the moon. They were going to push it away from the planet and destroy it. Now how they could do this, I don’t know. The second day, I witnessed a smaller impact from an asteroid. The asteroid impact was catastrophic. It didn’t wipe out the planet though. I witnessed this impact from a orbital station above the planets atmosphere. There technology was advanced greatly in this period. The dream faded. This concludes my dream.

So this was the first time where I experienced the transition from waking to NREM to REM. I'm assuming I was aware the whole time, but as always it's possible that I wasn't.

I'm laying in bed, in the darkness and certain things would wake me up up. Like all of a sudden I would be able to fee my body in bed, and hear sounds. This happened a couple of times, and finally I was asleep (I guess).

Everything was black, and I wasn't sure if I should open my eyes or just think of something to do. So I pretended to light a cigar and smoke it. The dream cigar materialized in my hand, and I lit it with my thumb. All it took was a lighter like motion. I put it up to my lips, and inhaled, and my vision got bright red. I ashed in my hands, and could feel them, but they weren't hot. Then the regular dream started forming.

I feel a flying sensation, and I see bars moving everywhere. Everything is still black and gray at the moment, so I open my dream eyes. Things started forming more and more, and I find myself climbing the side of a roller coaster at a high speed. I climbed to the top, and waited for the coaster to come by.

When it arrived I jumped up into it, and went on a wild ride. This thing was doing 90 degree drops over and over like it was nothing, and it would follow them up with super fast vertical climbs. As I spiraled down the tracks I couldn't help but think how awesome this was.

The coaster came to a stop (the dream had obviously fully formed by now) and I found myself in a jungle themed park. I had to find out who worked here because that was the most intense ride I've ever been on. I walked around a bit, and found myself in a big open waiting area. The walls were brown, and it looked like it was composed of diagonal 2x4s. There was a blonde woman wearing safari gear behind the counter.

She had the biggest smile on her face as she greeted me. I told her about how awesome this place was, and that I wanted to know a few things. She said that she would be happy to assist me.

Me: Who created this place?
Her: Mr. W.
(I was so shocked when she said this)
Me: Who's Mr. W?
Her: Why he's the wonderful person who convenes us all. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him.

(I wanted to tell her that she was talking about me. I was still pretty shocked that she actually knew who was pulling the strings.)

I thanked her for her time, and headed out. There was a Marriott hotel joined to the theme park. I entered, and there was two people at the desk. One Indian guy, and I'm not even sure who the other DC was, but there was a line for people waiting to check in.

I walked past them down the hallway, and the Indian guy yelled "hey". I turned around, and he told me I had to wait in line like everyone else. I walked over to the counter, and jumped over it into his little space and said "do you know who I am?" He didn't have an answer, so I filled him in. "I'm Wade", I said. He spoke back to me with this thick Indian accent. He's always doing whatever he wants in these places and it's getting on my nerves. I told him that he could shoot me if he wanted it. Then the guy pulled out his pistol and pulled the trigger.

*Click*
Him: "It's just that you seem to mess up things all the time"
Me: "Look I love this place, so I really don't have any problems"
*click*
Him: "You're always trying to do whatever you want *click* (yes he's still trying to shoot me at this point) and I'm getting sick of it.

Me while making an ottoman float: "I can do whatever I want, but that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy this place. I


I told him that I was waking up and we'd have to continue this conversation at a later date.

In my dream my husband is out of town (as he is in real life).

In my dream I asked a coworker out on a date, and he happily accepted.

See this is a perfect example of why I want to lucid dream. This is not who I am in waking life. This is not who I want to be. This is not who I choose to be.

Yes, I am lonely when my husband is out of town I get it.
I will also admit that I like this coworker ... as a coworker, as a buddy, as someone to share ideas with and to joke with.

Infidelity is a big no-no for me, and I also get that my mind therefore decided to present me with this scenario to shock me, to tell me "See I know how to push your buttons." Here is something that would really bother you.

But we already knew that! We already knew that I am struggling with self-esteem issues and with taking control over who I want to perceive myself as and deciding what is proper.

This however I know is not proper. And I refuse to think that I "need" this, so subconscious fuck off! I am going to relearn lucid dreaming, and make sure that I get to decide what I do and what is right for me.

If I am so fucking lonely tonight, why not give me a dream of my husband instead. That would have been nice, ok? But no, my subconscious, you decided to play games with me. Well, I don't appreciate that!

In an hour I need to get up and go to work and face this coworker, and forget that my subconscious asked him out on a date.